How are you feeling? (Emotionally)

[RD Rockruff]

not great

why do i bother with anything

[Honest Slug]

Annoyed at myself.

[President Squidward]

3 hours ago, Katniss said:

Very unhappy.

The way I reacted to Prez's comments in the Lego movie 2 thread makes me realize that I need to chill out and maybe take a break from here. First I blow up at him in the shoutbox because of his comments about Halsey's tweets regarding hotel shampoo and now this. And even my inflammatory comments towards Tron and Hayden in the past prove that I have issues and can't let things go, ignore things, or respond in a calmer way. Honestly I've been feeling meh about this place for a while now and pretty much only come here because I talk to Omair in my ask thread. I don't know. Maybe this post is too impulsive but I've been keeping my feelings bottled up. Maybe I should shut up. I wish I felt differently and that my life was different.

Don't worry. I acted a bit harsh in that topic with my opinion looking back. Don't feel bad, it's all cool with me. <3333

[President Squidward]

I've been feeling like nothing the past few days. My mom yells at me most of the time, especially for no reason. Like, when I'm out in public, she always tends to raise my voice at me... and whenever I try to say something about it, she brushes it off and changes the subject. She didn't used to act like this years ago. I'm sick of it. 

[RD Rockruff]

It depends on the day at this point. Either I'll have a normal day and I'll be contented for the majority of it or the day will fall apart at the seams due to something idiotic usually brought on by myself. I hope it won't be like this for the summer but it's shaping up to be such

[Aquatic Konquest]

I don't even know. Super stressed and depressed about two math exams coming up (knowing I'll definitely fail one regardless of how much work I put into it) but otherwise...content with the reminder that all this stress can dissipate after Friday morning, so...yeah.

(Also accomplished cuz I managed to finish a 12,000 word fanfic I've been completing over the past week that I had started a couple months ago, so there's that.)

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

On the inside, a little on the unhappy side. Still not out of it. *sighs*

[TJ]

Scared, but optimistic.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Tired, but alright.

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

Just average.

[Patty Rose]

Recovering from another "everything hurts" feeling.

[RD Rockruff]

I WAS fine until just a few minutes ago

[Aquatic Konquest]

A mixture of relief, contentment, anger and panic. God, I hate Edexcel. But thank god it's Summer!

[WinterArcanine]

Feeling pretty sad or depressed and also worried

Edited June 23, 2018 by Wintermelon43

[magic the veemon]

i am feeling worried rn

[WinterArcanine]

Okay I'm not good at explaining stuff and I don't like doing it that much but.......

I feel like throughout my whole life, life has been terrible, I was just too clueless to notice it in most of elementary school, and I finally noticed it around fifth to sixth grade. I feel like ever since I feel constantly bad due to something. Either I feel really sad and depressed, or I get a lot of anxiety and get worried and/or panicky, or I get really angry, and so on and I feel like I can't ever enjoy anything. Even when something good is happening, I feel like something insides my mind just tells me someing that stops me from having fun. It'll tell me that something is going to be over soon and it'll be done and it'll make me upset and/or worried, or it'll tell me it's useless because it happens for one second and then is just a memory after that, or I'll just suddenly be sad or worried or depressed, and so on. I also feel like anything I care about, something happens to destroy my enjoyment and something worries me or upsets me and so on, and it makes me unable to enjoy it. I also feel like anything I like a lot or don't like a lot, I get worried that I won't enjoy or hate it as much as I should. Like I can barely feel any different between watching something like Ink Lemonade vs watching something like Band Geeks, because I worry I won't hate the bad episode enough, or I worry I won't enjoy the good episode enough. It's not just with Spongebob episodes either, it's with absolutetly everything, even things such as emotions based on something haopening. Also I have this weird thing where I feel like I can't think of something properly and I have to think of it in a weird way and it's mentally painful to think of it in that way and stuff.... hard to explain but that's off topic.

I'm also always worried about the future too, like I feel like I won't be able to do things I have to do in the future or I feel like bad things I can't prevent will happen and I feel like I'm just screwed for the future. I fear what will happen in the future, I constantly do this, and I can't stand it. I also get problems with the past too; Like I feel like when I join forums or find out about something or start doing something and so on, that I was way too late and people discuss things about the past that I feel like I missed out on, and it just feels like everything was way better back then and I missed it.

Speaking of fearing of the future..... it's why I have been so panicky lately. It seems pretty definite that sbm is dying and will die, and even more so its discord. Many people are leaving, many people hate this site, it seems like it's gotten to a point where I feel depressed just thinking about the site. Ever since even the beginning of this year, I have been extremely worried about the place dying, espicially since I knew it was becoming less active. I have been going on a specific place a lot and really liking it three times before, that being the third place. The first place I willingly left after the community became horrible, but the second one simply died due to drama happening and people leaving and so on..... ever since I started going on the discord, I have been terrified of this happening. And it is actually happening and it terrifies me. SBM is dying or is about to die, almost everyone hates the site and tons of people are leaving..... I know this is supposed to be a normal cycle and it doesn't bother most people, but it really bothers me a lot. I don't really have an irl life, so SBM is basically my life. And tbh........ the cycle of places dying and people leaving is truly terrifying to me, That's what I'm so worried and bothered about this. I just can't stand the fact that it is happening. I constantly, constantly fear that places will die and I'll lose it, I feel like everything that matters I end up losing..... and I feel like this happens everywhere I go. It seriously worries me. All the time while I'm at an online community, I always think of how in a few years, either I will have left the place or everyone else will. It terrifies me. For this reason I had been constantly checking stuff to see if this happens. I look at who has been online recently, the numbers of who posted and was ohline in the past 24 hours, when people have been posting and how much they're posting compared to other times (this is why I show up in people's recent profile views all the time), and so on. My fear of this kind of thing goes to the point where if I notice someone who is usually online isn't there, I panick and get really worried or so on, and also if I see people not posting as much or say anything that remotely suggests that they don't wanna stay here anymore. That's how much it is. 

This is the main reason I always say that we'd be better off if the world ended, or that I wish the world would just end. I fear of what will happen in the future with communities I'm on so much that I can't stand to think of what happens with it in the future. I honestly wish I would just die already. I feel like I'd be better off dead. In fact, just today, I was thinking about if it'd be a good idea realistically to kill myself, even if I probably wouldn't be able to. Usually I think of the flaws that would prevent me from doing that and that ends that idea...... Today I was thinking about it and the flaws to it barely came across my mind. more thought like "ehhhh maybe it would be a good idea". That's about the closest I've gotten to seriously considering it. I just have lost desire to continue living in this world, even though I fear of the possibility of the afterlife not being perfect or optimal. Every night when going to bed, I just constantly hope that I either wake up the next day with everything solved, or wake up dead, even though I know it'll never happen, and that thought terrifies me as well.

So yeah sorry if I'm bothering anyone but this is bothering me so much right now and I wanted to say something about it. I already noticed my mental problems were worsening even more than usual and I was already terrified, and then recent events happened..... I didn't even mention everything bothering me, but there's that...

[Joe Biden]

I'm feeling pissed. Really fucking pissed. The McDonald's I work at is cutting back my days and hours. I used to work 5 days and 23.75 hours a week and make incredible paychecks there, but overtime, my times have started reducing and now, I only have 4 HOURS ON SUNDAY. Which'll pretty much translate to a $75 paycheck or something around that area. I talked to one of the managers to see if I was doing anything wrong (I wasn't) and they only told me some crap like "We need to employ more people during the summer". I have no idea what's going on anymore but if more of my hours are reduced to something like 2 hours, I'm just gonna friend some of my favorite co-workers on Facebook and just quit. Maybe expand more of my hours at the record store because that place is better to work at anyways.

 

My parents have considered that I should apply to the McDonald's near me, but what are the chances that they'll be over-employed too? McDonald's wasn't one of my primary choices though. I really wanted a job at the Publix near me but apparently it was fully employed (except for a chef position but do you really think I know how to make a cake?) so as a backup, I chose other businesses near my house and the wheel it landed on was a McDonald's like 15-20 minutes away from my house. Even if it was a little far, I got used to it and I enjoy a lot of the people I work with. But right now, I'm starting to question my position there. It it still continues, I will definitely considering upping my hours at the record store.

[Sauce Mama]

Really annoyed that one of these girls I know who HAS a boyfriend, always flirts around with my crush. Even in front of her boyfriend too, it’s freaking weird. It’s not only with the guy I like too, I’ve seen her flirt with a bunch of other guys whiles she’s had this same boyfriend over the years. 

Edited June 29, 2018 by Sauce Mama

[WhoBibbles]

Annoyed by certain censors

[Old Man Jenkins]

Had a good day chillin with some good friends yesterday. Was more than a nice enough distraction from personal life worries.