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Aquatic Konquest

Fry Cooks
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Aquatic Konquest last won the day on April 29 2020

Aquatic Konquest had the most liked content!

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596 Dead Eye Plankton

About Aquatic Konquest

  • Rank
    The Kwarantine Konquest Continues...
  • Birthday 08/07/2000

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    Kieran Salaria
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    SB1292000, SpongeFan257, K. Sal

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  • Gender
  • Pronoun
  • Interests
    Anything to do with The Little Mermaid & Winnie the Pooh, collecting POP figures, writing fanfiction, and drawing! You want Disney pins? I've got nearly 200!
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Favorite Episode
    It's A SpongeBob Christmas!
  • Favorite Character
    SpongeBob, Squidward, Plankton

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  1. (it's been basically a year since this got an update holy damn...and ironically enough this first part I've had written for about more than half of that time but never got around to uploading cuz I was originally going to do Downtown Bikini Bottom as one chapter but hey, it'll be two chapters long now so...enjoy this first part!) - Chapter V – Downtown Bikini Bottom (Part 1) SpongeBob: Finally, I thought I’d never be able to leave that damn level. Taxi Stop to Downtown: Congrats, you have enough spatulas to proceed. SpongeBob: Whatever, kthx. - French Narrator: Downtown Bikini Bottom…which for a downtown is small as fuck. I mean sure, there’s only like 500-something people in this place but what the hell is with that anyway? This ain’t a town, it’s a village. And oh, it looks like these idiots can’t even keep their tiny-ass “town” safe as it is cuz it looks like shit. Sign: HEY SPONGEBOB PAY ATTENTION TO ME! Mrs. Puff: AUTOMATIC DIVERSION TO A CONVERSATION WITH ME! Sign: FUCK YOU! Mrs. Puff: Oh, SpongeBob, just the man I wanted to see! SpongeBob: Well, I’m more of a sponge, but…wait, are you ecstatic? Mrs. Puff: You bet your ass I am, boy! Just look at all this destruction! It’s just…just…ohhhhhh… SpongeBob: Um…should I come back later, or…? Mrs. Puff: Waitwaitwait hold on…I need you to do me an errand. SpongeBob: An errand? Mrs. Puff: Yeah, yeah. See those weird impractical shiny things just to your right? Steering Wheels: Coo-ee! SpongeBob: Yeah? Mrs. Puff: These sexy robots have been taking all of the wheels from the boats whilst rampaging and shit. SpongeBob: Oh no, that’s terri-wait, did you just call the robots sexy? Mrs. Puff: Shut up. Anyway, I want them. SpongeBob: I dunno if I can do that, they tend to fade away once I tear them a new one. Mrs. Puff: Not them, you damn fool. SpongeBob: Okay bitch, I get it now. But what you need them for? Mrs. Puff: Puff Mama wants herself some keepsakes. SpongeBob: But wh-you know what, I’m not even going to dare ask that question. Mrs. Puff: I’ll throw in a Golden Spatula if you can help me out. SpongeBob: Okay then, I’ll help you fulfil your fetish, Puff Mama. Mrs. Puff: Call me that again and I’ll cut you. SpongeBob: M’kay. *prances off* Sign: Look at the pretty shiny thing in the middle of the road. Pretty shiny thing in the middle of the road: *exists* SpongeBob: Hey, look, another path I can go down, byeeeeeee! Cannon: *exists for absolutely no fucking reason…what even is this part of the level?* SpongeBob: My thoughts exactly. Cannon: Nyah nyah you can’t touch me! Now taste sink, bitch! SpongeBob: BOING BOING BOING! Cannon: Uh… Statue: *looks on in disgust* SpongeBob: Explosions! Button smashing! …excitement? Anvil: *comes into existence* Cannon: CURSE YOUUUUUUUU! SpongeBob: Wait, that thing was being held up by a thin-ass pole, how… Anvil: Shhh…video game logic. Statue: Ugh, just please take this shiny thing away from me and go away already. SpongeBob: But I don’t wanna go back to the siiiiiiiiignnnn, ugh! Spatula Obtained – A Whole Lot of Random Shit Apparently Wins You Stuff? #1 SpongeBob: “#1”? Konquest: Yup, there’s more down the road, I promise you. SpongeBob: O…kay then…moving on with the plot at long last. Sign: Thank god, so this shiny ball thing is a power up or whatever that turns you into a ball. SpongeBob: Is it even useful? Sign: Fuck if I know. It’s not even that cool, it’s just here cuz the devs decided to add another mechanic into the game cuz why not amirite. SpongeBob: So you continue to be useless. But seeing that it’s the only way I’m gonna make my way through the town, I guess I have no choice. *turns into SpongeBall and does the thing* G-Loves: *exist now* SpongeBob: What’s that? Sign: I could tell yo- G-Love: CUTSCENE TIME! Sign: OI! G-Love #1: Robot Gloves, Robot Gloves, great for feeling up anyone…like that guy! Random-ass fish: Say what now? G-Love #2: Hey baby, I’d love to get all these hands over you. G-Love #1: Maybe we can have some three-way action… G-Loves: *slapping mode activate!* Random-ass fish: I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIIIIIIIS! Deus Ex-Machina: *takes the form on an anvil* Gary: Meow. (“Oh yeah. I totally rule.”) Random fish: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! G-Love: Okay, buzzkill. I’ll look for someone else. SpongeBob: *is allowed to move again* Hint: Haha you have to read me. Anyways, this dude will attack you from any angle. Especially from behind. I wouldn’t wanna know where those hands have been if I were you. SpongeBob: Disgusting, but SKIP! G-Love: Hey there sweetcakes! Park that square ass within arm’s length! SpongeBob: Well… G-Love: Fine. SUPER SPIN CYCLE! SpongeBob: *bubble-bounces on this creep* G-Love: Impossible…I’m never…the bottom… SpongeBob: First time for everything. Moving on. SpongeBall: Hello again. Hot sauce: Yo. SpongeBob: UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. *does the shit needed to get across* Bubble Buddy: This is a lighthouse. SpongeBob: I can see that. Bubble Buddy: It is locked from the inside. SpongeBob: I’ll take your word for it. Bubble Buddy: … SpongeBob: … Bubble Buddy: … SpongeBob: …WELL WAS THAT IT? Bubble Buddy: … SpongeBob: Fuckin’ useless as always, Jesus Christ… *moves on* Oh hey, a clamshell! Clamshell: Hey hey hey! Wanna go this way instead of furthering the plot? SpongeBob: Well I can see that I’m gonna need to turn into that annoying-as-hell ball form again to reach that part so hell yeah I do! *pays the shell* Clamshell: *does nothing* Barrier: *lowers* Clamshell: Excuse me, does that not count as doing something in this universe? Barrier: Bitch sit down. - Establishing shot of the Sea Needle: *exists for absolutely no reason and doesn’t even have narration* Narrator: lolz I don’t know her. Mr. Krabs: SUDDEN APPARITION! SpongeBob: GOD WHAT THE FUCK??? Also pretty sure you were just out of the shot as it was panning but that doesn’t explain why I had to suddenly just apparate right in front of your ugly ass and uglier-ass vocal cords. Mr. Krabs: Shut up and just get the shiny stuff hanging outside already that’s all I’m hear for. SpongeBob: Is that it? Mr. Krabs: Nahhhh you totally need to smash your fucking face in when it comes to it. And make sure every tiki is destroyed so that I-er, you can have all the shiny objects you could ever want…or a least get from here. SpongeBob: And why can’t you just do it considering you seem to love these things more than me. You send that note and everything. Mr. Krabs: My ass ain’t what it used to be, lad…unless…you wanna see me try…? SpongeBob: Ugh, no…no no no…no. I’ll do it… *does the things* Mr. Krabs: Lovely work, boy! Have this as a reward! Golden Spatula Obtained: Hope It Was Worth Smashing Your Face In Mr. Krabs: Cool, now hand ‘em over! SpongeBob: Umm W.T.F. no. And this is the wrong level for that kinda transaction. Mr. Krabs: So…I sent you out to do some labor and I get nothing in return? SpongeBob: Welcome to the life of an NPC, bitch! Mr. Krabs: DAMN YOU! SpongeBob: *leaves promptly* - (In the next part, Sandy and her wonderful arsenal of abilities will make their debut! Will our porous dumbass share the limelight with dignity?)
  2. Gemstones are definitely a pretty sight...any one in particular that catches your eye the most? For me it's gotta be between diamonds and rubies. Also, the bigger the gem, the nicer the jewelery imo. Would love to get me a nice ruby ring. IDK I'm watching The Case Files of Jeweler Richard and the animation of the gems is absolutely gorgeous...
  3. My Christmas list is mostly just BL manga, mostly volumes of Hitorijime My Hero and Candy Color Paradox. Although considering I keep buying whatever BL manga I can get my hands on even now it's so tempting to get them now. Otherwise it's just some Little Mermaid t-shirts, an Ursula sleep mask and a Zombie Bart POP Figure I really would like.
  4. It's a SpongeBob Christmas was an instant favorite and will always hold a special place in my heart as far as this show is concerned
  5. Oooooooh it was a fight between Don't Be a Jerk and Santa Has His Eye on Me but the latter I find just a bit better.
  6. Well, seeing as the movie was released on Netflix today and I wanted something to distract myself from my uni work in my head I ended up watching Sponge on the Run today and well...for what it is, I liked it quite a lot. Quite frankly, I'd be lying if I said that the story wasn't lackluster - perhaps since I'm not really interested in corny-ass kids' flicks that emphasis "The Power of Friendship" all the bloomin' time but the movie had genuine moments where I did laugh quite a bit. The movie can be genuinely funny. And the visuals! Oh, the beautiful, beautiful visuals! I just want to gush about the animation in this thing for ages because LORRRRRRD I love it so, so, so much. I would recommend this movie based on visuals alone quite frankly. It's so interesting to look at alone. Odd thing is there were definitely moments where looking at it I'd swear it looks like stop motion, and some of the fish look like they come from a SpongeBob Robot Chicken sketch. Not to say anything negative by that at all, because the movements of all the characters is so enjoyable to watch. And the COLOURS! EEEEEE!!!!
  7. Been on an anime binge since September, and have found myself in the wonderful world of BL/Yaoi anime and damn is there a lot of manga I ought to read. Given, Haikyuu, Free! and Junjou Romantica have been my favorite ones so far two of them are not BL I know but one of those two is definitely giving off BL vibes.
  8. I find myself personally torn between the 50's and the 90's, both due to the Disney films that came out in each respective era. (The Little Mermaid I am actually including as part of the 90's considering its launch of the Renaissance era had notable impact throughout the decade and its release being so close to the end of the 80's made it a film that 90's kids would enjoy) Outside of movies, I guess I would be swayed to go with the 2000's since a lot of TV shows I've enjoyed and do enjoy currently come from that era.
  9. Started playing the game again the other day and I'm disappointed there's no screen size adjustment setting after the new patch was added, but maybe it's just a problem only I seem to be having where the bottom edge is just obscured. It's not a huge deal but it does obscure whatever commands are placed there so it's hard to see what the hell is going on on the screen. Game's still as cute and fun as always regardless. And also tried the horde/multiplayer mode too. Despite my internet working I couldn't do it online so I just used my spare controller to play locally and...it sucks? The whole Robo-Squidward stage feels half-arsed as if it was just hastily put together in order to provide something different and "new" or whatever. Also kinda insulting they have platforms designed after Patrick's scrapped dream level. I mean, I dunno, I suppose it's a cute reference but considering they're platforms with actual textures and stuff it only further begs the question as to why we didn't get the dream level originally intended especially considering they probably had access the the audio files needed for dialogue. Weird thing is, the Robo-Squidward battle feels like a boss battle that could have been implemented into the game, albeit requiring new cutscenes, dialogue, etc. Just set the fight in Tentacle Acres or the Boating School or something and adjust the battle itself to fit the location and it'd be a pretty cool implementation.
  10. Daffy Duck forever and always. His TLTS incarnation is my utmost favorite portrayal of him.
  11. Can't believe I'm 20 now. But at least I've been able to drink for a good couple years already cuz I'm craving a drink to celebrate. 

  12. Presenting a very crude take on what is perhaps the most popular game in the SpongeBob SquarePants library! A teacher with murder in her eyes, socks in questionable condition, oblitherating the fourth wall like there's no tomorrow and lots and lots of screaming! What more could you ask for? Are ya ready kids? Probably not, but let's go anyway! Literally just a random idea for a spin-off/lit (it's based on SB but on a game, so...does that still qualify for Spin-Off status? I am confused. ) that hit me the other day when I woke up and I was like, "Damn, let's do it and see what happens." Basically, it's gonna be a lot of stupid fun. Like...really stupid, goofy fun. I am calling it "Nonsensical" for a reason. Unlike a lot of what I usually write, this is way more laid back and goofy in nature and just provides me an opportunity to be free as I virtually take the mickey out of a beloved video game. Rated PG-13 because it turns out I am a sailor mouth when it comes to stupid fun and I don't want to take any chances with a lower rating. In terms of the actual content, it's not really gonna delve into anything explicitly violent/sexual, hence why I've opted for PG-13 as opposed to Mature. Will upload the first chapter - the opening - soon enough. Again, this will be weird...this will be stupid...but that is the point...because...why not? No sponges, sea stars or squirrels were harmed during the conceptualization of this written work. Unfortunately said sponge, sea star and squirrel did cause emotional harm to an octopus on set.
  13. Been hella bored today, so I've just been making more logos for myself for potential signatures and what have you. One inspired by the Little Mermaid logo. My favorite of the ones I've made today. I'm a sucker for red and gold. It's so shiny! Something cute and colorful. I'll probably end up using this for basic sigs I make for myself in the future.
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