4EverGreen

Another week, another...NICKEL!!!! On TV, I FINALLY saw the great movie "Driving Miss Daisy", as well as the Direct To Video "Chill Out Scooby-Doo" for the very first time. In movie theaters, I saw the fully animated "Garfield The Movie; Despicable Me 4; Inside Out 2" (even BETTER than the FIRST one, which is REALLY impressive); "Twisters" (also better than the first "Twister" movie); and "The Big Lebowski" (as part of my radio station fundraiser, long story). Enough said, true believers!

Could someone PLEASE answer me two things. First, WHY did it take the "Spongebob Squarepants" writers 25 years BEFORE they decided to give a plot reference to "Mary Poppins"; and second, how on EARTH could they POSSIBLY manage to mess up trying to tell THEIR version of such a story THAT badly?! I'm not sure if a Suckerfish has ever been seen on "Spongebob Squarepants" before, but this IS the first time such a character has played a significant part in an episode segment. As it turns out, when Spongebob Squarepants WISHES for a friend to help him clean up the Krusty Krab, he REALLY should've been more specific! Sammy Suckerfish has the personality and powers of Mary Poppins, the looks and (more believable) Cockney accent of Bert; but the personality quirks of the WORST aspects of Stimpy, Fanboy and Chum-Chum, and the Breadwinners put together! The way that Sammy Suckerfish (and later, Spongebob) teaches Spongebob how to clean the Krusty Krab is to...LITERALLY clean it with their tongues! Is it any WONDER Nickelodeon decided to WAIT to air this episode until AFTER this website already MADE their top 30 worst list this year?! But as it turns out, when Sammy starts cleaning, he can't STOP until EVERYTHING is clean! And even worse, he accidentally licks UP the Krusty Krab Secret Formula on his tongue, forcing Mr. Krabs and Plankton forming a temporary truce to help Spongebob STOP Sammy! However, Sammy ends up being too FAST for their combined efforts to catch him; and it's only WHEN Spongebob notices that SAMMY has some filth on him, that Sammy licks HIMSELF clean until only his HEAD is left! Thankfully, Sammy decides to put the Krabby Patty Secret Formula ONTO Spongebob before he completely licks himself away; but Plankton takes a PICTURE of Spongebob's face with the (jumbled but still readable) text of the Krabby Patty Secret formula! Thankfully, Sammy's miniature mops attack Plankton and destroy his camera AND his picture before Plankton has a chance to memorize the Secret Formula! Needless to say, Spongebob learned an important lesson about not letting random STRANGERS come to 'Help' at the Krusty Krab. Now, if the writers could just learn how NOT to write such terrible episodes...that would be GREAT! I'd give this episode a 4 out of 10 at BEST! Enough said, true believers!

It's really amazing the LENGTHS Plankton will go to in order to get the Secret Formula. First, Plankton disguises himself as an abandoned child on the doorsteps of Spongebob's parents house, and is willing to do all SORTS of bonding activities with Spongebob, just so Spongebob will fill up his brotherhood meter of telling secrets with Plankton all the way to the top. At the very least, while it starts off with Plankton (naturally) not enjoying all the things Spongebob does, mostly because while Spongebob isn't exactly strong, Spongebob is STILL taller and stronger than Plankton is; and most of the stuff that Spongebob does unintentionally hurts Plankton. But after Spongebob SAVES Plankton from being stepped on by a clown (it makes sense in context), Plankton DOES genuinely start bonding with Spongebob for real! Once the brotherhood meter is filled all the way to the top, Plankton reveals that he has a MASSIVE Inferiority-Superiority complex, and he's so AFRAID of getting hurt either emotionally or physically; he often pushes people away so that he WON'T be hurt! Spongebob's biggest secret is...his tie is a CLIP-ON!!!! As it turns out, no amount of bonding will EVER get Plankton the Secret Formula from Spongebob's locked-up tight brain! Of course, the revelation makes Plankton LITERALLY axe-crazy as he decides to whip out a CHAINSAW in order to get the Krabby Patty Secret Formula THAT way! Thankfully, Spongebob's parents manage to come out at just that time, and reveals that EVERYONE has standards; and instead of punishing Plankton themselves, decide to dump him at the house of Patrick Star's parents Bunny and Cecil (who have now been aged to look closer to the age of Spongebob's parents), and they present Patrick with the little brother HE has always wanted; and Patrick plays with Plankton with FAR more pain that Spongebob's parents could've ever given Plankton! I guess I'd give this episode a 9.4 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

You know a gag is BAD when "Saturday Night Live" LITERALLY shows someone LITERALLY throwing out the script!

In terms of character morality, Bubble Bass has been practically all over the map. Often, Bubble Bass seems to be "Social Impure". It's not so much that he's evil, it's just that he'd rather not take the time or energy to be any more social than he has to be at any given time. Needless to say, it's no wonder the Comic Book Store considers Bubble Bass to LITERALLY be the coolest guy in the store...though given the competition he was up against, that really wasn't THAT hard for Bubble Bass to achieve! Of course, his mom would REALLY appreciate it if he didn't SMELL like the stuff that he collects, and FORCES him to take a bath! However, Bubble Bass soon finds out that when the Dirty Bubble Trading Card Set gives you Bubble Gum with the Set, it tends to TASTE like a Dirty Bubble. And unable to KEEP the indigestion in his body, his body unintentionally betrays him as it releases the Dirty Bubble from having been previously trapped in that bubble gum prison from a previous off-screen encounter with Mermaid Man. Seeing as how the Dirty Bubble covers himself OVER Bubble Bass, and making it quite clear that it's POINTLESS for Bubble Bass to TRY anything funny against the Dirty Bubble, Bubble Bass at least TRIES to make the best of his bad situation. While Bubble Bass isn't exactly fond of helping the Dirty Bubble commit crimes, he does at lest does his BEST to make the Dirty Bubble succeed at his crimes! Of course, all the exertion naturally makes Bubble Bass hungry, so the Dirty Bubble decides to help Bubble Bass out by invading the Krusty Krab! As it turns out, Bubble Bass can legitimately be DANGEROUS with the right kind of motivation and energy! Not even the Bikini Bottom crew, dressed up as two heroes and two villains, can fight against the double threat! However, when the Dirty Bubble needs to recharge his filthiness; Bubble Bass suggests the Chum Bucket, as it produces the FILTHIEST food in the ocean; and Bubble Bass even USES the money the Dirty Bubble pilfered from the bank earlier to pay for it! However, it seems that Bubble Bass might have actually been PLANNING to use the Dirty Bubble's own gluttony AGAINST him; he just miscalculated how MUCH it would take for the Dirty Bubble to gain TOO much mass before it popped! Luckily, the Dirty Bubble did pop! And although his mother comes along and forces him to take the bath he DIDN'T finish taking, he doesn't seem to mind; because he knows that he will never INTENTIONALLY get tangled up again with a villain that tries to control his body AGAIN! All in all, I'd have to give this episode segment a 9.9 out of 10! Enough said, true believers!

It's nice to see some fan-fiction getting some (sort of) acknowledgement in "Spongebob Squarepants". "Bikini Top" is now (sort of) canon to the show's history! Granted, it's only as the previous location name of Bikini Bottom; but still better than nothing! I wonder which fan-fiction will be the NEXT to be referenced?! In any case, it was interesting to see Homo Erectus Spongebob and Patrick return after a LONG absence; see the Western era referenced again; see Bikini Bottom's Industrial Age referenced for the first time, and see that in Mrs. Puff's case, the apple DIDN'T fall far from the tree. One of her ancestor's specialized in making boats (and founding Bikini Bottom's hospital) and Mrs. Puff (tries) to teach students how to drive them! We even get to see how Spongebob and Patrick (or versions of them) looked like in the 1960's, the 1970's, the 1980's, and even their EARLY concept drawings from the 1990's! But when they reach the top of the Museum, they discover that Old Man Walker is bitter about his glory days being long behind him, being relegated to being a Security Guard; and even has PLANS to make Bikini Bottom fear and respect him! Not only does Patrick BLAB about it to everyone within earshot, but Old Man Walker's plans are foiled when the Bikini Bottom Museum Anchor (whatever happened to the old-fashioned Bikini Bottom Museum building is still a mystery) is unexpectedly lifted away! Naturally, Sandy ENDS the episode segment with more questions than answers. I guess I'd give this episode an 8.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

Well, at least the episode title was accurate. What I don't understand is, why would the writers go to ALL the trouble of FINALLY bringing Kevin back out of obscurity if they just planned on giving him the shaft AGAIN?! Granted, I can understand how SOME characters might be more difficult to write for than others, but still...in any case; Spongebob wants to catch the Ultra Rare Moon Jellyfish that only appears once every 25 years (hence WHY it hasn't appeared ON the actual show before), merely because he saw footage of Kevin doing it once. But he goes to the Jellyfish Club, and it seems as though the Anchovies have grown more of a SPINE since the last time we saw them, as they actually KICKED Kevin OUT of being President of the Club YEARS ago for being such a JERK, and Patrick is now the President (and not even a BAD one, clearly back to his season one intelligence level). In any case, Spongebob searches for Kevin, who has CLEARLY seen better days, being forced to live in a trash can and having grown a beard of sorrow. In a case of "Surprisingly Realistic Outcome", when you DON'T use your jellyfishing skills for so many years, you LOSE them as Kevin finds out the HARD way! But at least the "Hard Work Montage" proves that Kevin can at LEAST legitimately catch some jellyfish after some trial and error. Too bad the same can't be said for the REAL Moon Jellyfish, as the real thing is HUGE, and Kevin is FORCED to admit that he FAKED his prior Moon Jellyfish catching on a sound-stage! Thankfully, Spongebob and Kevin manage to corner the Moon Jellyfish, and with the unexpected help of a bunch of Bikini Bottom citizens who...well, do the aforementioned ACCURATE episode title description to amplify the fading moon rays to make it so that Spongebob and Kevin can catch him, and they do! Too bad Kevin hasn't learned ANYTHING what happened from the LAST time he tried to go back on his word with Spongebob, and Kevin cuts Spongebob OUT of the deal! But as soon as he does so; the Moon Jellyfish QUICKLY takes Kevin back to the moon WITH him, leaving Kevin stranded on the moon with no way to return for the next 25 years (unless someone decides to rescue him sooner, which I highly doubt). I guess I'd give this episode a 7.3 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

Remember that; because his name is NOT Rick!

For a Narlene and Nobby based episode, this was actually pretty decent; all things considered. While it's not one of Kaz's BEST episodes, it's one of the BETTER episodes he's written in quite a while! This also marks the first time we've seen Narlene and Nobby's parents, and we can see just WHERE each one gets their looks from; the father and the mother respectively! One thing I've noticed about the majority of the narwhals, is that compared to a lot of them, Patrick actually comes out looking a lot SMARTER by comparison!...Either that, or they simply reverted him back to his season 1 intelligence level, which is just fine! Either way, I think this marks the first time that the Plankton family has been seen WITHOUT Plankton himself, and its definitely interesting to see a Feud episode! Of course, Spongebob of ALL characters states the Simple Solution at the beginning that the two families could SHARE the forests for the honey that the bee jellies make, only for Narlene to shoot it down for it NOT being any fun! Never thought I'd see the day when "Spongebob Squarepants" (of ALL shows) would reference the ending of "Dr. Strangelove", even if their version ended up as anti-climatic in a "Surprisingly Realistic Outcome" way by using a potato instead of a bomb. Surprisingly, Patrick proves to be a "Combat Pragmatist" by quickly ending the battle, by simply EATING all of the Plankton's potato supply; forcing the Plankton family to call a truce, and admit that they could just share the trees. As it turns out, the Plankton's and the Narwhal's actually do this once every year; purely for the fact that "It Amuses Them". Spongebob and Sandy don't seem to mind, because they at least had fun. I'd give this episode a 9.5 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

I Scream for ICE CREAM!!!!

This episode was an interesting sequel to "SB-129". While that episode did briefly touch upon what Bikini Bottom might be like in the future, this episode expanded upon that premise! After Plankton gets locked in a time capsule trying to steal a Krabby Patty; not only does he MANAGE to survive for the full 2,000 years by eating only ONE molecule of the Krabby Patty at any time he got hungry, he finally LEARNS the Krabby Patty Secret Formula! However, the future is NOT what he expects it to be! EVERYTHING that isn't organic seems to be made of chrome in the future! The Chum Bucket is now the Chrome Bucket, and Karen has gotten...really upgraded, as she's now a sleek, floating orb who is able to make...basic artwork, which somehow SELLS very well! (Well, nobody ever said art trends were predictable!) As it turns out, Squidward QUIT being in the future too soon; because in the future, his music is FINALLY loved and appreciated the way he always hoped it would be, but ONLY the day after he stopped being alive (which is sadly, truth in television for many great musicians!) I never expected there to be a "Terminator 2" reference in Spongebob Squarepants! A future version of Patrick is now a copy of the evil Terminator in that movie, with the same super strength and morphing capabilities of that Terminator! Spongebob (or rather, what's left of him) has been reduced to a permanently frozen ice cube on a wheels who only seems to be capable of laughter! And while the Krusty Krab (renamed the Khrome Krab) has been closed permanently due to rust, it turns out knowing the Krabby Patty Secret formula is COMPLETELY worthless to Plankton now; because now EVERYBODY knows the Krabby Patty Secret Formula, and can simply conjure up an organic one to eat (explaining how the fish can survive in the future) anytime they want! Desperate, Plankton wants to return to the past where his knowledge can actually be useful! He never expects to find it from the KID version of Sandy Cheeks, who's now using her free time to time travel throughout time! She agrees to take Plankton back into the past, but she ENSURES that Plankton FORGETS the Krabby Patty Secret Formula first! Unfortunately, Sandy's forgetting plan works TOO well; as Plankton has also FORGOTTEN the whole experience, and ends up UNINTENTIONALLY repeating the VERY thing that got him TRAPPED in the Time Capsule in the first place! All in all, I'd give this episode a 9.9 out of 10! Enough said, true believers!

Okay, so the episode has now officially been aired and released. It seems that Plankton can NEVER catch a break...well, EVER!!!! Even his PARENTS are more successful than he is, and by DUMB luck, no less! They've won the lottery, bought a fancy trailer AND the services of Lady Upturn's own butler, and they've decided to open their OWN restaurant next to Plankton's! The new eatery is called The Spud Bucket, a restaurant that specializes in serving ONLY potato based food items! However, it seems that Bikini Bottom citizens are willing to try ANYTHING new, and despite the premise; it doesn't take long at all for all of Mr. Krabs' customers to go to the Spud Bucket! So, even IF Plankton takes the Krabby Patty Secret Formula now, it would be absolutely WORTHLESS to him; since the Krabby Patty isn't able to compete with the Spud Bucket! However, unbeknownst to Plankton; this is actually a "Batman Gambit" by Mr. Krabs, as Mr. Krabs KNOWS that Plankton will do ANYTHING to get the Krabby Patty Secret Formula; even if it means SABOTAGING the Spud Bucket! However, Plankton's attempts don't really...work that well. Get the Health Inspector (who seems to have a new voice) to shut the Spud Bucket down? Plankton's family simply uses a portion of their lottery winnings to BRIBE the Health Inspector to pass them ANYWAYS! Use Patrick as a weapon to eat ALL of their food supply? Patrick simply makes their restaurant more profitable than ever! Try to destroy the supply of potatoes? It simply turns the potatoes into french fries, which makes MORE Bikini Bottom citizens want to eat at the Spud Bucket! Unable to successfully sabotage the Spud Bucket, Plankton decides to join the family business! Ironically, it's when Plankton actually stops TRYING to sabotage the restaurant and starts TRYING to help, that Plankton unintentionally succeeds! Because Plankton is either foolish and/or stubborn enough to ADD Chum to the potato recipe, that Bubble Bass is QUICK to warn everyone that PLANKTON is the Chef, quickly RUINING the reputation and business of the Spud Bucket! With the business scheme down the drain, Plankton's parents decide to buy a football team somewhere, but not before both Mr. Krabs AND Plankton get blown up by dynamite, for causing the sabotage of the restaurant in the FIRST place! Overall, I'd give this episode a 9.9 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!

FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB!!!!

I already HAVE a cell phone, I've had one for the past 18 years (not the SAME one, but STILL)!

"Truth Or Square" and "The Algae Is Always Greener" made my list at number 5 and number 11 respectively. I can't wait to see the top 10!