4EverGreen

Happy Birthday, Aquatic Konquest! Happy Birthday cake!

Awesome!

Let's not waste any time, let's get right onto the next episode of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back", starting now! / Sniz is in the camera monitor room, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, it was a pirate themed challenge for our two teams, and they set out on a voyage to find the magically transported, Fountain of Youth. But as it turns out, the Killer Prawns had two BIG problems! Namely, Tigress' metaphorical GIGANTIC attitude, and Brittany Miller LITERALLY, growing gigantic! Tigress and Po foolishly TRIED to attack Brittany in her gigantic state, only to be EASILY thwarted in their efforts, and literally flung INTO the Fountain of Youth, both of them LITERALLY getting temporarily aged down to the age of nine for their efforts! OUCH! Thankfully for Brittany Miller and for everyone else, her gigantic status turned out to be only temporary. But unfortunately for everyone else, Tigress managed to find the Pendant of Life, for the THIRD time this season! I mean, that feline is like a Pendant of Life finding machine! So, it was due to that fact, that it ended up being Brittany Miller, facing elimination, for the second, and FINAL, time this season! That was quite a crazy challenge, and our upcoming challenge today, is bound to be an even CRAZIER one! Because not only do we have a COOL spy challenge lined up for today, we're officially saying GOOD-BYE to our two teams, and saying Hello, to the MERGED portion of our season! Who will prevail in this new set-up?! Will Tigress and Po be able to survive, DESPITE still being temporarily nine years old?! And will anyone else be able to FIND the Pendant of Life BESIDES Tigress?! Find out the answers to these intriguing questions, on today's action-packed episode of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! And by the way, I prefer my sodas FIZZY, not FLAT!" / Instead of the normal show open, a cool spy opening plays out, to the tune of a well-known Paul McCartney hit song, "Live and Let Die." Paul McCartney sings: "When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say 'Live and let live'. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever changing world in which we're living, makes you give in and cry; say, live and let die! Live and let die. Live and let die. Live and let die. (Instrumental solo) What does it matter to ya? When you got a job to do, you gotta do it well. You gotta give the other fellow hell! (Instrumental solo) When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say, 'Live and let live'. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever changing world in which we're living, makes you give in and cry; say live and let die! Live and let die. Live and let die. Live and let die." (Instrumental solo plays until the epic song ends!) / "Live and Let Merge: You're Only Young Twice!" / The episode opens up properly, in Bubble Bass' cabin room. He is still dreaming, and thanks to the magic of Anti-Cosmo, we get to SEE what he is dreaming! In Bubble Bass' dream, he is in Mrs. Puff's Boating School for some reason, but he doesn't find THAT odd! What he DOES find odd, is that for some reason, he's wearing layers AND layers of clothing, and he feels ABSOLUTELY hot! Mrs. Puff says: "Welcome to another day of Boating School, class. And thanks to General Barracuda, another day of NO SPONGEBOB BEING IN THIS CLASS!!!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!!!! HA, HA, HA--OOPS! Sorry! Reflex! Anyways, I need a volunteer to give an example of, 'What NOT To Do At A Stoplight!' Why don't we go with...Bubble Bass?!" Bubble Bass says: "Me?! I'm not even sure why I'M here! I don't even know where to start!" Mrs. Puff says: "Just pick ANY example you can think of! I'm SURE it will be fine!" Bubble Bass says: "Okay. I'm sorry, but I feel like I've got to demonstrate right here and now, something you should probably NEVER do at a stoplight, or ANYWHERE in public, or I'll pass out from HEAT exhaustion!" And we cut away from looking at Bubble Bass, and looking at the class, as they stare towards Bubble Bass, but we see layer of LAYER of clothing being tossed on the ground towards them, ending with Bubble Bass' OWN regular clothing! It cuts BACK to Bubble Bass, who is COMPLETELY naked now, but no longer sweating heavily! Bubble Bass says: "WHEW! I feel MUCH better now!" But instead of REPULSION, everyone instead yells: "YEAH!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Woah! Who knew there were so MANY souls out there with SUCH bad taste?!" Mrs. Puff claps loudly, and she says: "Wonderful! Magnificent! That is the BEST example of what NOT to do at a stoplight I have EVER seen in my whole life!" / Bubble Bass SUDDENLY wakes up with a jolt, and he says: "Okay, on a scale from 1 to 10, that was the WEIRDEST, most BIZARRE dream, that didn't involve GRAVY, I have EVER experienced, in my ENTIRE life so far!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Even though I'm feeling more confident about myself, I guess that I'm still feeling a little bit...reluctant, to put myself completely OUT to the public, so to speak. Why ELSE would I even HAVE a dream like that?! I mean, do I really EXPECT that if I were to COMPLETELY embrace who I am, that everyone would ACCEPT me for that?! Even I'M not crazy enough to think that real life would work out THAT way! But, wouldn't it be kind of cool if it DID?! I mean, just THINK how much money I would save by NOT buying clothes! The only thing I can think of where that MIGHT work out, is if Blonda would be willing to move me to a clothing optional resort. But knowing how high BLONDA'S standards usually are, I think THAT'S probably going to be a HARD sell, unless I win this season, THAN she might be willing to consider, HOPEFULLY!" (End Confessional) In Po's hotel room, the temporarily aged down Tigress, is staying with the temporarily aged down Po. Tigress says: "Thank you for letting me sleep in your room, Po. Master Shifu NEVER let me have sleep-overs when I was training with him!" Po says: "Technically speaking, I didn't either, but I think that's because most of the citizens in the Valley of Peace, KNEW of my big eater tendencies! But you know, the only reason I ate SO much, was BECAUSE I was a growing boy, and I NEEDED the nourishment!" Tigress says: "I certainly wouldn't fault you for that! I just think it SUCKS to find myself in such a LOUSY position right now!" Po asks: "What do you mean?" Tigress says: "Simple! Everyone BESIDES Bubble Bass AND you, HATES my guts, and they have every REASONABLE reason to DO so! I have treated them all HORRIBLY, all because I was big, strong, fast, and tough, so they couldn't DO anything about it, realistically! But now that I'm nine years old, everybody else is going to gang UP on me and vote me OFF! And I don't know if I currently HAVE the strength or abilities to STOP them from doing it!" Po says: "Tigress, you have my word, I would NEVER let ANYBODY else try to vote you off!" Tigress asks: "Do you REALLY mean that?!" Po says: "Of course I do! You've made some mistakes, but you don't HAVE to let those mistakes that DEFINE you! You can LEARN from your mistakes, and become all the BETTER for it! And the best part is, this time, you have the CHANCE to do it right, FROM the start! You've got to use ALL your Kung Fu skills to your absolute potential, and ENDEAR yourself to your fellow contestants, NOT endanger them!" Tigress says: "Endear myself...NOT sure if I can DO that!" Po says: "I can help you! I have LOTS of practice endearing myself!" Tigress says: "Thanks for the offer, but I think it's pretty much a moot point right now." Po asks: "Why do you think that?" Tigress says: "Simple! We're at the point where the two teams MERGE! If you think the contestants didn't like me BEFORE, they DEFINITELY have no reason to hold back on me now; especially now that I'm temporarily stuck in THIS shape! I'm feeling really vulnerable, in a way that I haven't for a LONG time! Po, we NEED to have a PLAN of some kind!" Po thinks about it, and he says: "Well, I have ONE plan that might work!" Tigress eagerly asks: "Really! What IS that?!" Po says: "You apologize!" And Tigress falls OVER in an Anime fashion! Tigress shouts: "APOLOGIZE?!!! Is that REALLY the MOST effective PLAN you can come up with?!" Po says: "For a panda who's temporarily nine years old, I think it's a pretty GREAT plan! Besides, how ELSE do you expect to get everyone back on YOUR side?! Just tell them that you're sorry for the things you've done, and that you're going to be more considerate to them in the future!" Tigress says: "Okay, there are two BIG problems with your theory!" Po asks: "Really! And what would THOSE be?!" Tigress answers: "Okay! Number one: Tigress' DON'T apologize! Bubble Bass apologizes! Master Shifu apologizes! I'm pretty SURE even Master Viper apologizes! Tigress' by nature, do NOT apologize! Second, and MOST important, I NEVER LIE!!!! That is a SIN from my standpoint, and I will NOT stoop to common LYING! And I find it a LITTLE insulting that you would THINK that I would DO such a thing!" Po says: "So, you're saying you're not even going to TRY to save your own game?" Tigress says: "I'm saying that I'm not going to apologize, on the basis that I think it would be a WASTE of everybody's time! Even if I DID apologize, and I DID mean it, which I DON'T, NOBODY'S going to accept my apology! I mean, pretty much everyone else BESIDES Bubble Bass AND you, have tried to vote me off, even when they knew that I probably HAD the Pendant of Life on me! THAT'S how much they HATE me! They're willing to WASTE their votes, just to PROVE a POINT to me! So I'm NOT going to apologize!" Po says: "I see. And what would YOUR plan be, if it doesn't involve apologizing." Tigress says: "The same thing I've been doing ALL season, WIN! And if THAT doesn't work, find the Pendant of Life as my Ace in the hole!" Po asks: "And what if you CAN'T or DON'T find the Pendant of Life FIRST?! Besides, I thought you were suspicious about finding the Pendant of Life so often!" Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong, I DO find it suspicious! But I don't have any leads as to who would be GIVING me the Pendant of Life! Unless...are YOU giving them to me?!" Po says: "Tigress, if I HAD the Pendant of Life, YOU would be the FIRST to KNOW about it!" Tigress says: "Well, if YOU'RE not giving me the Pendant of Life, than who is?" Po thinks about it, and he says: "What about Anti-Cosmo?" Tigress says: "Anti-Cosmo?!" Po says: "Well, who ELSE would it be?! We already know Anti-Cosmo was trying desperately to turn Bubble Bass into a villain, and THAT didn't work! So when his Plan A, failed, he turned to Plan B! I mean, think about the Pendant of Life! I mean, SURE! It's BEEN protecting you! But after CONSISTENTLY being able to find it, AND hold onto it, haven't you noticed something about yourself? I mean, I don't think you can get something for NOTHING, you know!" Tigress gasps, and says: "It's the Pendant of LIFE!!!! Anti-Cosmo must be putting some sort of SPELL onto the Pendant of Life! I mean, I AM a little aggressive, I'll admit that! But it seems like whenever the Pendant of Life is in my paws, it amps up my aggression levels ten-fold! Anti-Cosmo MUST be doing it, because he WANTS a villain, even if that villain is ME! He's been tricking me, and USING me in his SICK little game! Well, I'm NOBODY'S puppet! If Anti-Cosmo thinks he's going to manipulate me into being a villain, he's got another thing coming! We are going to march up to him RIGHT now, and give him a piece of SOMEBODY'S mind, because NO ONE uses Tigress and comes out UNSCATHED! He is going to pay!" But before Tigress can make good on her claim, the "Mission Impossible" theme plays over the loud-speakers, and Sniz says: "Attention, contestants! The time for relaxation is over! The time has come for the next EXCITING challenge! Meet me by the flagpole in the middle of the camp for more details! Sniz Brokowski, out!" Po says: "Looks like you're vendetta against Anti-Cosmo will have to wait! The next challenge is here!" Tigress says: "Not to worry. You know better than anyone that I can hold a grudge for as LONG as I need to! And Po, promise me RIGHT now that if you find the Pendant of Life, no matter how much I beg, and plead, and cry, do NOT give me the Pendant of Life! I can't afford another fit of aggression like the one I had against Brittany Miller! Agreed?!" Po nods his head, and says: "Agreed! I won't tell ANYONE that I found the Pendant of Life! I'll take it to the grave if I need to! Hopefully, it won't have to come to that!" Tigress says: "Good! Let's go!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "The one major drawback to being such a stubborn, headstrong feline, is that it's very difficult for me to accept, that there ARE some types out there, who can figure out a way to take ADVANTAGE of my nature! Apparently, Anti-Cosmo is such a type! Well, he's going to be in for a RUDE awakening! Because if he thought that I was tough as a potential bad guy, he's going to be in for a WORLD of hurt, when he's beaten by a GOOD guy...Tigress, girl! Tigress is BACK in the good guys side, and I'm GOING to stay there, no matter WHAT it takes!" / Po says: "Personally, I'm all FOR the idea of teaching Anti-Cosmo a lesson! I just hope Tigress has a plan, for what to do when she FACES him! Because, I certainly can't think of a good plan at the moment!" (End Confessional) The contestants run out to the flag pole, and meet up with Sniz, who's currently dressed up as super cool, super SEXY spy! Johnny Krill says: "Wow! I didn't know the Sean Connery convention was in town!" Sniz says: "It isn't! The name's Sniz! Sniz...Brokowski! And today, is the super cool, super awesome, super magnificent SPY challenge!" Kowalski says: "A SPY challenge?! We are GOING to--!!" Private CLAPS his flippers over Kowalski's beak, and says: "Kowalski, don't you DARE say anything more! Now, I know by all RIGHTS, spying IS our strong suit, and by all logical reasoning, it SHOULD be a simple challenge! But, it is a simple known fact, that you can NEVER, EVER, no matter what, CLAIM a preemptive victory, or you are always, Always, ALWAYS, GOING to LOSE!!!!" Kowalski says: "But--." Private says: "ALWAYS!!!!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "We are maybe, going to face a challenge, that may or may NOT be difficult, and which we may or may not win immunity. Is that more accurate." Private says: "MUCH better! Thank you for NOT jinxing anything!" (Confessional) Kowalski says: "Nothing in my clipboard suggests the possibility of losing in this scenario! What does Private see that I don't? Surely, I've covered every angle I can POSSIBLY think of! But what about every angle PRIVATE can think of?!" / Private says: "Kowalski IS smart! He's the SMARTEST penguin I know! But, he's overlooking the Tigress factor! Being temporarily aged down to NINE, isn't going to stop her from going all out, and trying to stop us from WINNING the challenge! She's a competitive NUT, and she HATES anybody that she thinks could be SMARTER than her! Kowalski has to WATCH his beak around her! If not for HIS sake, than for mine! We've worked HARD to get here, and we CAN'T afford to jeopardize our positions now, especially not with the prize that is currently at stake!" / Johnny Krill says: "All I know is, if I had the $1.4 million grand prize, I would be able to buy SO much steak!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Kowalksi IS right! This IS a spy challenge, and the odds are CERTAINLY going to be challenging, for YOU! Here's how it's going to work! The contestants will be magically sent to Petropolis, home of Verminious J. Snaptrap, to infiltrate his secret lair, retrieve the blueprints for his top secret Death Ray weapon...thingy, and return it to T.U.F.F. headquarters! There's sure to be plenty of dangerous robot guards about, and lots of spy type traps! So, you will need to be equipped with the patented T.U.F.F. Spy Gear, for all your espionage needs! Oh, and one more thing. You no longer need to worry about sleeping in cabins, OR about the team structures! Because, as of right now, the two teams are no more! It's every contestant for themselves! Makes it more fun that way! From now on, the contestant that wins each challenge, along with a guest of their choice, will get to stay in the LUXURY Suite room, the BEST room in the entire hotel! The other contestants, will have to make do with the REGULAR hotel rooms! And as always, whoever doesn't win immunity, will be at the mercy of an Elimination Ceremony. Unless they have a Pendant of Life, of course!" And everyone IMMEDIATELY glares at Tigress! Tigress says: "Don't look at me! It's only been like...five minutes! I couldn't POSSIBLY have the Pendant of Life YET, ANTI-COSMO!!!!" Anti-Cosmo appears, and he says: "Did someone call my name?!" Tigress says: "Don't even TRY that 'Innocent' act around ME, mister! You've been CURSING the Pendant of Life with some kind of Aggression spell, to make whoever HOLDS the Pendant of Live, be filled with aggression FAR above what is NORMAL for them, in order to make it easier for them to do potentially stupid and EVIL things, just so YOU can have a VILLAIN this season! I'm ONTO, mister!" Anti-Cosmo chuckles nervously, and he says: "I have, NO, idea what she's TALKING about! Curse; ME?! Do you think I would STOOP so low?" Po says: "Yes! And since I have no qualms about racking up penalty votes, lest you FORGET the Zarbon example from LAST season, I suggest you come clean now! Because even though I'm still only nine at the moment, I'm pretty SURE I can put a world of HURT on you!" Anti-Cosmo sighs in defeat, and says: "Fine! You got me! I've been cursing the Pendant of Life to make you angry! Now, are you SATISFIED?!" Jenny says: "No; just disappointed! Bad enough you have to CURSE the Pendant of Life, but where do you get off, constantly GIVING it to Tigress?! You KNOW she already HAS an anger problem!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Precisely! Since Bubble Bass wouldn't SUCCUMB to humiliation and my trying to DEGRADE his self-esteem, I needed someone ELSE to goad into becoming the villain! Tigress fit that bill PERFECTLY! Who else would be SO willing, to ALIENATE everyone else in the game?!" Tigress angrily says: "So help me, when I'm THROUGH with you, I'll make you life a living NIGHTMARE!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "You're going to play by the RULES, and you're GOING to LIKE it! Just because I made you be MORE aggressive than normal, that STILL doesn't CHANGE who you are! You are a fool, telling a tale, filled with rage and fury, which SIGNIFIES NOTHING!!!! You didn't NEED much help into becoming the BAD guy THIS season! All you needed, was ONE little push! And it's too late for you to turn back now, FAR too late!" Tigress says: "You're WRONG! I'm no longer going to COLLECT the Pendant of Life! You can't manipulate me, if I REFUSE to play your game!" Anti-Cosmo says: "But what about all the OTHER contestants? Do you think THEY can resist the lure of FREE immunity like you 'CLAIM' you can do?" Tigress says: "What are you talking about?" Anti-Cosmo says: "Oh, so you HAVEN'T guessed my true goal for this season! Well, since you already figured out SO much, allow me to fill in the caps! I have cursed the Pendant of Life, to make sure that ANY contestant who finds it and uses it, has their aggression amplified ten fold; NOT just you Tigress! And while you may be willing to RESTRAIN yourself under the BEST of circumstances thanks to your Kung Fu training, everyone else BESIDES Po has NOT received such training! And while you MAY have standards that you WON'T cross, you have NO idea if the other contestants DO! So, my question to you is, are you WILLING to take the chance, that your fellow contestants wouldn't HURT a child, like YOU?!!!" Tigress gasps, and she says: "You wouldn't DARE!!!!" Anti-Cosmo says: "Try me!" Tigress' fists shake with rage, and she says: "Fine! I'll find your STUPID Pendant of Life first! But just know this; you may have put me into this position, but I SWEAR I'm going to find a way out of it! And when I do--!" Anti-Cosmo says: "I know! You're going to beat the SNOT out of me! Good luck with THAT! I FEAR you are DESTINED to fail!" Tigress says: "The word 'Fail', is NOT in my vocabulary! So there!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "The other contestants may not realize this, but I'm doing everybody a HUGE favor! I'm 'Taking the bullet', or the Curse in this case, for them! If Anti-Cosmo wants to make me the villain, FINE! At least, I KNOW that I can TAKE the punishment, no matter WHAT he tries! But when it's over...KER-LECH!!!! Good-bye, Anti-Cosmo!" / Po says: "Well, Anti-Cosmo certainly isn't STUPID! He's smarter than we thought! It's going to be harder than we thought it would be, to deal with him!" / Bubble Bass says: "I always thought that there HAD to be a rational explanation for why Tigress was acting MORE aggressive than usual; it was all Anti-Cosmo's doing! In retrospect, I'm GLAD that I haven't been finding the Pendants of Life NOW, especially now that I know that Anti-Cosmo HAS been cursing them! I just hope Tigress is as resilient as she says she is! She can certainly use ALL the resilience she can get!" / Jenny says: "Anti-Cosmo is playing with fire by trying to manipulate Tigress! And sooner or later, when you play with fire, you're inevitably going to get burned! As a robotic superhero, I consider it my duty to take care of ANY threats; no matter HOW super-natural or filled with magic they might be!" / Kowalski says: "It's a good thing Private STOPPED me when he did! I certainly didn't anticipate the possibility that the Pendant of Life was being cursed! This could complicate our chances of survival, especially if Tigress FINDS it AGAIN, like she SAYS that she's going to! If she finds it again, that could be the end for ALL of us! I must do whatever it TAKES to keep Private safe! If Tigress WANTS that Pendant of Life, she's going to have to go through ME first, and I will NOT make it EASY for her!" / Private says: "I'm sure Kowalski has already made a vow to protect me! I just hope he has a plan to minimize any possible damage, because Tigress will NOT be playing with kid gloves!" / Johnny Krill says: "So, the Pendant of Life FILLS you with aggression, and OBVIOUSLY, amplified strength! Just look at what TIGRESS has been doing, ever since she has been USING the Pendant of Life! She wouldn't be so TOUGH without the Pendant of Life! If I HAD the Pendant of Life, I'D be the one calling ALL the shots, and Tigress would have to ask ME for protection for a change! I'm SICK of taking orders from HER!!!! It's time for a change of POWER structure around here! I'm going to make Tigress PAY for all the DEGRADING things she has DONE to me! She may have spent all her time 'Kicking the Dog', or Prawn, in this case! But she's soon going to find out, that the Prawn, is about to bite BACK, and he's going to bite HARD!!!!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anti-Cosmo, you're on THIN ice! This is your second MAJOR infraction this season! You better not MAKE any more, or it WILL be your LAST!" Anti-Cosmo sarcastically says: "Ooh, I'm SO scared! Which you gonna do, fire ME?! We all know THAT'S not going to happen! You NEED my magic! Otherwise, you'd have NO ONE to provide all these cool challenges for you, and you KNOW it, to!" Fondue says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Touche. Fortunately, I have an ACE up my sleeve! General Barracuda?" General Barracuda steps in, and says: "How DARE you mess up with MY honeymoon?! I was busy vacationing with Bonnie in the Bahamas, when you had to BUTT in and ruin my vacation! Well, you better poof everyone to Petropolis RIGHT now, if you WANT to keep your PRETTY face!" Anti-Cosmo gulps nervously, and says: "Very well! Everyone, you have one hour to complete your mission! If no one gets the blueprints, we'll go to a tie-breaker question. Hopefully, it won't come to that. At the end of one hour, you will automatically be poofed back here. So, no pressure! I hope you enjoy yourselves! I have a sinking feeling that I sure WON'T!" Anti-Cosmo waves his wand, and the contestants are warped to Petropolis! Sniz says: "And our contestants are now in Petropolis! What kinds of dangers will they find in Snaptrap's lair? Who will find the CURSED Pendant of Life first?! And HOW will General Barracuda PUNISH Anti-Cosmo THIS time?!" General Barracuda chuckles, and he says: "I can think of SEVEN ways, right off the top of my head!" Sniz says: "Find out the answers to these questions when we come back, on Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Anti-Cosmo poofs a FULL set of eye-glasses over himself, and he says: "You wouldn't DARE hit a guy with glasses on, would you?!" General Barracuda GRABS the eyeglasses, and HITS Anti-Cosmo WITH the eyeglasses! Anti-Cosmo says: "Oh; you hit a guy WITH glasses! That's...actually well-played." / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!

Well, as long as the show's original creator, isn't ALLOWED to touch the revival, not even with a...39 & a half foot pole!; and they avoid making the SAME mistakes that were made with "Adult Party Cartoon", I think it might work out fine. We'll just have to wait and see. Enough said!

Thank you!

Okay, here's what I want: Body Color: Lime Headwear: Krabs Crown Face/Mask: Urchin Beard Neck: N/A Body/Top: Loyal Customers Shirt Bottom/Pants: Spongebuck Pants Feet/Shoes: N/A Hand/Pet: Pot Of Gold Pin: Mario Sprite Background: N/A Please and thank you in advance!

In order to get back to the action, we must first finish up the episode we are already on! So, here is the second and final part of the episode, "Performance Review: Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen", for "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back"! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / The commercials end, and in the bleachers, a completely bandaged Bessie Higgenbottom, is now seen sitting next to Lil Deville! Bessie TRIES to say something, but because the bandages are covering her MOUTH, all we can hear is: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" This ACTUALLY causes Lil to laugh, and she says: "I must admit, Bessie, you've NEVER sounded SO smart!" And Bessie angrily mutters: "MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!! MMMM!!!!" Norbert asks: "What did she say? Does ANYONE know what she SAID?!" Stimpy says: "Take it from MY personal experience, you DON'T want to know!" Norbert actually THINKS about it, but he decides, and says: "Point taken! Anyways, it's time to bring out the NEXT former eliminated contestant! Right, Daggett?!" Daggett says: "Right, Norbert! He was a penguin, a spy, a LIVING bag of holding, and a guy who both LIKED, but couldn't HANDLE spicy foods, give it up for RICO!!!!" Rico runs onstage on all fours, to THUNDEROUS applause! Daggett is puzzled, and he says: "I didn't ASK for applause!" Norbert says: "I didn't either, but maybe..." Norbert looks up, and sees the "Applause" sign lit up, and Norbert shouts: "HAYDEN!!!!" Hayden shouts: "Sorry, reflex!" And the applause sign is dimmed, but scattered applause can STILL be heard! Daggett shrugs his shoulders, and he says: "Huh! I guess Rico really DOES have some fans!" Norbert says: "There are bound to be fans for EVERY type of contestant on this show, no matter HOW misplaced they might be! But seeing as how I don't want to get into a discussion about it, let's get RIGHT to interviewing Rico!" Daggett says: "Right! Rico, why don't you take a seat?!" Rico just looks all puzzled at Daggett and says: "Bleh?" Norbert says: "Rico, do you WANT to sit, or would you rather stand?" Rico STILL doesn't get it, and says: "Bleh?" Daggett is STARTING to get angry, and RESTRAINING himself, asks: "Well, maybe you would LIKE to tell us what your experience on this show was LIKE for you?!" But Rico STILL looks confused, and just says: "Bleh?" Daggett FINALLY loses it, and screams: "AUGH!!!! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!!" Norbert says: "I can't either, and I'M the SMART beaver!" Daggett yells: "NORBERT!!!!" Norbert says: "Well, I AM!!!! I've got the IQ Tests to PROVE it! KATARRA!!!!" Katarra floats onstage to transcendental sitar music, and she says: "You rang? I ALWAYS wanted to SAY that!" Daggett says: "Katarra, we NEED you to do us a HUGE favor and TRANSLATE for us, and EVERYONE at home, EXACTLY what it is that Rico has been SAYING!" Katarra asks: "And what makes you think that I know HOW to do that?" Norbert says: "Well, you CAN read Auras!" Katarra says: "Fair enough. I'll see what I can do." Katarra feels Rico's stomach, where his heart is located, and Katarra says: "Hmm, I SEE." Daggett says: "So, what has Rico been saying?" Katarra says: "Well, in response to your FIRST question, Daggett, he said: 'I won't take orders from YOU, because YOU are a GREAT, BIG, STOOPY, POOPY, Beaver!' In response to YOUR question, Norbert, he said, 'I'm not sure yet, because I always have a tough time making up my mind.' And in response to your SECOND question, Daggett, he said, 'My experience on this show WAS fine until I got fed those SPICY peppers which caused me to lose control, and caused more than HALF of my team to vote against me, leading me to being HERE, being ASKED STUPID questions from a VERY angry BEAVER, DOOFUS'!" Norbert exclaims: "He said all THAT in ONE 'Bleh'?!" Daggett says: "I heard of 'Reading BETWEEN the LINES' but THAT'S just NUTS! And why did he have to call me a 'Great, Big, Stoopy, Poopy, Beaver'? That's VERY hurtful, you know!" Katarra says: "Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling you what he said from his point of view." Norbert says: "Right. And as long as YOU'RE here, Katarra, would you feel like telling us what you thought about the show?" Katarra says: "Well, I was already PRETTY convinced that Tigress was ALREADY only looking out for herself when she got ME eliminated, but watching the episodes AFTER my elimination, have only confirmed it! There is no doubt in MY mind, that Tigress is NOT going to be happy if some SMUG, SMART, know-it-all like KOWALSKI beats HER in the competition! Tigress may currently be regressed to be nine years old, but if I know Tigress as well as I do, she's NOT going to STOP until she UTTERLY decimates Kowalski in a challenge! His time as a contestant on this season of the show is in DANGER!!!!" Rico surprisingly asks: "BLEH?!!!" Katarra says: "Well, it's TRUE!!!! Tigress is obsessed WITH WINNING!!!! And when she DOESN'T win, she gets ANGRY, and she will take OUT her anger on whoever she thinks is the biggest THREAT to her in the game! And since TRYING to hit Jenny would get Tigress nowhere fast, not to mention, she would NEVER betray Po, she's going to target the NEXT biggest threat, who CURRENTLY, happens to be Kowalski! I'm sorry, but I don't see ANY scenario where Kowalski will come OUT of the ensuing mayhem unharmed!" Norbert asks: "Do...do you think there is any HOPE for Kowalski, OR Private?" Katarra says: "Hard to say. Unfortunately, as an eliminated contestant, I have no way to warn Kowalski, nor am I allowed to. Hopefully, Kowalski will be able to UTILIZE his knowledge in order to minimize the damage to himself, and NULLIFY any threats to Private! Because, when it comes right down to it, Kowalski will NEVER allow Tigress to lay a CLAW on Private, without going THROUGH Kowalski first! Tigress MAY be able to eliminate Kowalski, but Kowalski is GOING to make sure that it ends up costing Tigress EVERYTHING, including a chance at the title for this season!" And the audience CHEERS at the revelation, and Rico happily says: "Bleh!" Katarra chuckles, and she says: "I thought you would be happy about that! Needless to say, Tigress is going to be in for a BIG surprise when she finds out just HOW good Private can be in a competition! I think he's going to surprise nearly EVERYBODY, and go ALL the way, this season!" Daggett says: "As a fellow underdog, I would certainly like to SEE that! Thank you, Rico, and Katarra; why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Rico runs to the bleachers, and sits on Bessie's lap, and even ALLOWS Bessie to pet him, while Katarra floats over to Stimpy. Stimpy says: "You know, I think you would've been a MUCH more interesting contestant to face than Aang, in seasons one and two." Katarra says: "If I had, either the whole Mesogog situation would've never taken place, or Master Coelaceanth would've found SOMEBODY else to inject Mesogog into!" Stimpy thinks about it, and he says: "Good point!" Norbert says: "Our next two contestants BOTH got eliminated in the same episode, so we're interviewing them together!" Daggett says: "One is a crime-fighting teen, who goes by the superhero alias of Danny Phantom!" Norbert says: "The other is a ten year old girl from Little Bark, who loves conditioning her hair, and playing practical jokes on her brother Foo." Daggett says: "Give it up for Danny Fenton, and Fee...actually, we don't KNOW what her LAST name is!" Danny Fenton flies onstage as Danny Phantom, while Fee walks onstage, with a BUNCH of Cubic Zirconium jewelry all OVER her, including a makeshift crown from the Cubic Zirconium she had found! Norbert says: "Wow, that is ONE fancy outfit, Fee!" Fee chuckles, and she says: "Thank you! I made it myself, with a little help from my Yeti Crab adopted brother, of course!" Norbert asks: "You mean, your parents ACTUALLY let you adopt the Yeti Crab as your older brother?!" Fee says: "Heck, yeah! After seeing how helpful he was in that underground treasure challenge, they adopted him post haste! We're not sure if we're going to give him a name yet, but for now, we're calling him 'Yeti'. We feel that when the time is right, HE will know what he wants to be called!" Daggett says: "Right! And just what IS it with that outfit of yours?" Fee says: "Well, after making a set of false teeth for my brother Foo, there was a LOT of material left over, so Yeti and I got busy crafting, and we came up with all of THIS! Now, I'm a regular little fashion model, with REASONABLE working hours of course! I can FINALLY afford a PROPER education and wardrobe, AND my parents can NOW even afford to move BACK to Little Bark! I'll be able to be friends with Harvey, Technobear, and all the other kids again, woo-woo! Who SAYS that miracles aren't possible?!" Norbert says: "Well said! And Danny Fenton, you had your share of struggles this season, and they weren't necessarily game related. What do you think tripped you up more; the famous spirits who were inhabiting your body. Or the fact that you TRIED to keep it to yourself?" Danny sighs, and he says: "No doubt about it, trying to keep that fact to myself. I've got no one to blame but myself. You see, I've always been used to pretty much figuring out my problems on my own. I mean, SURE, I've got friends back in Casper, but they don't have super powers like I do, so, I've ALWAYS kind of had to be at the FRONT of the action, because I KNEW that I could take pretty much ANYTHING that any evil ghost could throw at me! But, being sort of possessed by famous spirits, kind of threw me for a loop. That was a REAL outside context problem for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I guess...I didn't want to admit it, because I thought people would think LESS of me, for being unable to deal with a problem on my own. All I want to say is, I'm sorry for making such a mistake. And, if I ever get a chance to BE on this show again, I won't make that same mistake again!" Daggett says: "FUNNY you should say that! Because, it's time to reveal our SECOND surprise for tonight!" Lil says: "You mean, BESIDES me and Stimpy?!" Norbert says: "You know it! The reason WHY Sniz spent so much time AWAY from the show, during the beginning of the underground treasure challenge, is because he was in talks, to negotiate an end to the STRIKE the Fairy Godparents have been in! Sniz has agreed, to let the Fairies, have MANY concessions they never HAD before, if they come BACK to be interns! Well, I'm happy to tell you, the Fairy Godparents AGREED! They will be getting perks, such as being able to HAVE union breaks, including access to the chocolate fountain, the soda bar, and the buffet table! And because the Fairy Godparents are coming back, that means we're going to have a SECOND part to season four!" Stimpy asks: "A second part?" Daggett says: "That's right! Sniz and Fondue are going to let the Anti-Fairies and our current contestants finish off the competition they're already in, and once it's finished, we'll be able to find out who gets to compete in what WE'RE calling, season 4B of this show; Total Cartoon Legends!!!!" And music from "Legends of The Hidden Temple" plays in the background, to thunderous applause! Norbert says: "As you can guess from the title, Cartoon Legends, from both the past three incarnations of this show, and the one currently in progress, will be able to come back! Season 4B will have 30 episodes, 4 of which, will be Performance Reviews. We still need to determine, the contestants who WILL be returning for the show, before we can figure out, exactly how the Elimination structure will work. But rest assured, when the time comes, I will once again be helping to host the Performance Reviews, with Eliza Thornberry!" Daggett asks: "You're NOT going to compete in Total Cartoon Legends?!" Norbert says: "Nah. I already HAD my fun as a contestant on this show. I'm just going to kick back and commentate on it THIS time! Besides, there's a reason why I'm NOT competing in this upcoming season!" Daggett asks: "Why is that?" Norbert answers: "A very BIG reason, to give both YOU and Treeflower, the chance you've ALWAYS deserved, and to have ONE more shot at the grand prize and title, in season 4B, of Total Cartoon Legends!" Daggett noticeably tears up, and he asks: "You, want ME, to compete in Total Cartoon Legends, instead of YOU?!" Norbert says: "I still feel kind of bad for the way I treated you in season 2. Not to mention, you didn't even get a CHANCE to be a contestant on THAT season, whereas, I got two! So, I'm making it up to you, by letting both YOU and Treeflower go in my stead! And don't worry, I'll make sure that my kids are well taken care of while you're gone." Daggett actually HUGS Norbert for a change, and he says: "Oh, THANK you Norbert, you're the BEST!" Norbert says: "Well, I certainly try to be!" Danny is intrigued, and says: "Total Cartoon Legends, huh? Well, Fee, looks like me and you, MIGHT get another chance at the title, sooner than we thought!" Fee says: "As long as Harvey gets to come WITH me this time, I have no reason to complain!" Daggett says: "Thank you for your time, Danny and Fee, why don't you both take a seat in the bleachers?" Danny flies over, and takes a seat next to Katarra, and Fee sits next to Bessie. Katarra says: "Your Aura is all healed. It's no longer fractured, the way it used to be." Danny is confused, and says: "Thanks! I THINK!" Fee looks at Bessie, and says: "Don't worry about your hair! I've got a GREAT hair formula at home! I'll call my parents, and they'll give YOU some of MY instant hair growth formula!" Bessie actually perks up, and says: "MMMM!!!!" Norbert says: "Our final guests for tonight, is another two for one deal." Daggett says: "He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it ANYMORE obvious?!" Norbert says: "Actually, you can! He is a member of the famous band, Alvin & The Chipmunks, she is a member of the girl band, The Chipettes; give it up for Theodore Seville, and Brittany Miller!" Theodore and Brittany both walk onstage, holding hands, while the audience is loudly cheering! Katarra says: "Theodore and Brittany Miller ACTUALLY holding hands? Now I HAVE seen everything!" Brittany says: "Oh, it feels SO good to be back here!" Theodore says: "And its SO good to see you at your normal size! Even though, even if you had STAYED giant, there would've JUST been more of YOU to love; TECHNICALLY speaking, of course!" Brittany says: "Of course!" Daggett says: "Now, Theodore, some people think that the reason YOU lost the game, was because you went OUT of your way to try to impress Brittany Miller! Why did you MAKE such a foolish decision to TRY to run up a building, when General Barracuda was throwing barrels at you?! I mean, you should've KNOWN your OWN limitations, and not make such a RASH decision!" Theodore says: "First off, I had no way of knowing General Barracuda was THAT good at throwing barrels! Secondly, no one FORCED me to do it! I made that decision on my own! I may not have won, but at least I made an effort! That's a LOT more than what OTHER people make!" Norbert says: "I agree! It might not have been conducive to a LONG Term game, but it definitely helped you in your relationship with Brittany. I got to give you props for that! Now, Brittany; it's time we talked with you. Going into this show, you were ARGUABLY, the MOST famous contestant on this season! Why did you come here?" Brittany says: "Well, initially, I mainly did it to help boost my album sales, get on the covers of many famous magazines, and get written about! I DO have fans who like to know what I'm up to! But after getting eliminated the FIRST time, and then getting to come back as an intern, I actually had to do some honest, HARD work, for arguably, the first time in my life. And even though it wasn't easy, the way my singing career is, it felt more honest. I was helping to make sure, that a good show was going to happen, and that a good challenge, was going to take place! I might not have had the BEST scenes, or the MOST scenes, but in a way, I made SURE, that the progress of this show, happened in a way that was dramatic, and effective! I feel proud of my efforts! Of course, if I had known that eating that giant acorn was going to temporarily going to turn me into a giant, I wouldn't have eaten it. That DEFINITELY helped lead to my second elimination! But, I guess it's true with what a certain old saying goes; 'Hindsight is Always 20-20'." Daggett says: "That's certainly the truth! Now, it's time to ask the former eliminated contestants themselves, one FINAL question! Which contestant, do YOU want, to WIN the Final Two, at the end of season 4A, that we're currently in?!" Stimpy says: "Private!" Lil says: "Private!" Bessie says: "MMMM, MMMM!!!!" Katarra says: "She said, 'Private'!" Rico says: "Bleh!" Katarra says: "He said, 'Private, obviously'!" Theodore says: "I guess, Private!" Brittany says: "Awkward! I was going to say, 'Jenny'!" And everyone looks STRANGELY at her! Brittany says: "WHAT?! It's STILL better than saying, 'Tigress'!" Norbert thinks about it, and says: "Personally, that's a good point." Danny says: "Private, he helped me when no one else would!" Fee says: "I can't let Brittany be alone, I want Jenny to win, to!" Katarra says: "And I want Bubble Bass to win!" Daggett doesn't GET the comment at first, and he says: "Of course you do. (Beat) Wait, WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Katarra says: "I have my reasons." Norbert says: "Oh, really? And what would THOSE be?" Katarra says: "THAT, would be TELLING, wouldn't it?" Daggett says: "Very well, than. Guess YOU'RE still going to be mysterious! Well, I want Private to win, to! Norbert, how about you?" Norbert says: "You're NOT going to know who I WANT to win! I REFUSE to be predictable!" (Confessional) Norbert says: "I'm going to go AGAINST the majority decision, and I want Bubble Bass to win, JUST to rub it IN Tigress' over-competitive face!" (End Confessional) Daggett says: "So that's seven for Private, two for Jenny, one for Bubble Bass, and Norbert won't say. But, will any of THOSE three make it to the Final Two? THAT remains to be seen!" Norbert says: "Thanks for watching us! So, until next time! I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett!" Norbert says: "And this has been another edition of the Total Cartoon, Performance Review! So until next time, stay tuned in!" Daggett says: "And keep that popcorn popping!" Norbert says: "Awesome! I love this show!" / Episode Notes: No eliminations, due to it being a Performance Review. Featured Song: "The Winner Takes It All", performed by Stimpy and Lil. It's revealed that once "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back" is finished, "Total Cartoon Legends" will begin, and make up the SECOND half of season 4! / Personal Notes: The main reason why I wrote this Performance Review, was because I wanted to explore the thoughts of the eliminated contestants so far, especially since the "Total Drama" equivalent of this season, didn't do so for THEIR previously eliminated contestants! Also, I wanted to explain why it is that Tigress is AGAINST a penguin like Kowalski winning, but how WANTING to target him, will eventually lead to her OWN undoing! But how exactly THAT might happen, remains to be seen! / I hope you enjoyed READING this episode, as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!

These episodes of yours are very interesting. When do you think you're going to do another one, just out of curiosity?

I am SO flattered that my idea was the one that was chosen! I hope that everyone enjoys it, as much as I did coming up with it! Enough said, true believers!

I just wanted to let people know that the upcoming "Power Rangers Multiverse Force" episode, "Yes, Destiny"; a co-written effort between myself and Renegade the Unicorn, will premiere sometime later this month before August 27, so be sure to tune in and...well, read it, because it will be a great episode to make it worth the wait! Enough said, true believers!

First off, it's going to be a Final two, not a final three, this season. Secondly, one of the penguins WILL make it to the Final 2, but the other one is sadly, living on borrowed time, thanks to hot-headed Tigress. But the penguin who GETS eliminated, will provide the other, the incentive they need, to make it ALL the way to the Final Two! After all, a final three like that WOULDN'T be very exciting, now would it? Enough said!

Happy Birthday, UnderwaterShaw, MyNamesNotRICK, and Spongebob-Superfan!

Happy Birthday, Hayden! Happy Birthday Cake, for you, and everyone else having a birthday today!

Happy Birthday, Whobob! Happy Birthday Cake!

We've reached the half-way point of season 4A, YEAH!!!! It's time to mark this amazing occasion with the sole "Performance Review" episode of season 4A. I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it, enjoy! / Instead of the normal show opening, poppy music plays, and C.G.I. word titles of "Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back: Performance Review", float down into view, and a montage of clips from the previous episodes of the season, begin to be shown on-screen. / Bessie Higgenbottom jumps off the boat first, and she says: “Wow! This is so cool, riding on a boat! Did you know my great-great-great grandfather actually built a boat?! Old Ironsides, they called her! It fought in the Civil War, against the--!” / Brittany says: “Free food?! Theodore, you just ATE!” Blonda says: “According to MY sources, he always just ate!” / Tigress can be heard groaning loudly, and she says: “UGH!!!! That was SO pathetic! Out of the way, let a TRUE champion show you how it's done!” Tigress kicks down the door of the boat room she was staying in, does several forward jump flips on the boat, leaps OFF the boat, and rolls forward on the ground, before springing forward, to land perfectly on her two feet! Tigress says: “I am Master Tigress! The one, the only, the world-renowned, the exceptionally trained, and incredibly epic Kung Fu Master, who has ever trained on ALL seven continents! If you're already unnerved by me now, you're free to save yourself the trouble, and go home right now! I don't tolerate losers, getting in my path of winning! THAT'S how you make a proper introduction!” / Kowalski says: “Uh, I hate to be predictable, and complain about logic on the first day, but, cactus isn't NATIVE to environment of Lake Michigan, and the nearest desert is over a 1,000 miles away.” Blonda says: “I have a magic wand, your argument is invalid.” / Johnny Krill asks: “Just step forward?! I'm Johnny Krill, man! I NEVER just step forward!” Tigress rolls her eyes, and says: “Just what I needed; Twister 2.0!” / Fee says: “You could always swim in the NUDE, like my brother Foo does!” Bubble Bass gives Fee a shocked look, and he says: “First off, T.M.I., too much information! And second and most importantly, YOU disgust me!” / Bubble Bass says: “At first, I thought there was no WAY I could take a public shower with some other guys, but then Blonda and her team of producers LEGALLY FORCED me to do it!” / Johnny Krill says: “You know, now that I THINK about it, I think Bubble Bass has nice...FINS!!!!” (DOING!!!!) / Tigress says: “It's OBVIOUS that I'm the FULL package; beauty, brains, brawn, and skills, all in ONE body!” / Fee sarcastically says: “Woo, woo, woo. Extra woo, woo, woo. Can we get ON with the show already?!” / Sniz says: “Note to self: NEVER ask Katarra HOW she is able to do the things she can do EVER again! You will ALWAYS get a SNOTTY response from her!” / Bubble Bass scoffs, and says: “Oh, PLEASE!!!! If Spongebob REALLY annoyed you as much as you CLAIM that he does, you'd simply RESIGN from the Krusty Krab, and move away from Bikini Bottom for GOOD! But there's no WAY you'll do that, because you're just COUNTING the days until Mr. Krabs is lying SICK on his DEATH BED, and he beckons for you and whispers in a soft, creaking, croaking voice, as he confesses to you that Spongebob Squarepants, is FAR too incompetent and stupid to run the Krusty Krab! And that you, the LONG suffering Squidward Tentacles, is the ONLY employee capable of running the Krusty Krab, and you will weep tears of sadness, sorrow, and despair, as it finally DAWNS on you that the HORRIBLE, SWEATY place YOU call the Krusty Krab, is the ONLY place where you will EVER truly know, feel, AND experience LOVE!” Squidward's eyes open up wide, and in a dissonant calmness, he says: “Excuse me.” And he walks off-screen, goes to the cafeteria, and in a loud voice, cries: “AHHH!!!!!” Bubble Bass suddenly jerks and in futility, covers his mouth, and says: “Dear Neptune! Was I just TALKING out loud, THERE?!!!” / Sniz says: “Well, folks. It seems as though we're experiencing some technical difficul--.” (BOOM!!!!) / Tigress says: “Be a sumo wrestler!” Bubble Bass says: “What makes you think that I know HOW to be a Sumo wrestler?!” Tigress says: “Simple. You're fat, you're chubby, you're overweight, you're obese, and you'd look GREAT in a diaper!” Bubble Bass says: “Besides the LAST thing, all the other qualities are the exact SAME thing!” / Bubble Bass says: “Fine, I'll do it. But I'm NOT wearing a diaper!” / Bubble Bass says: You know, I'm actually SURPRISED by how long I lasted against Po! I'm kind of proud of myself. Maybe there IS more to me than just fat. Uh, that, didn't come out right.” / Tigress screams: “BRITTANY, you JERK!!!! You COST US the GAME!!!!” Johnny says: “Oh, so NOW it's 'US', and not, 'You'!” Tigress says: “Stay out of this! Brittany, YOU are DEAD; metaphorically speaking!” Brittany Miller fumes, and says: “Oh, you are SO lucky that I can't get a hold of my entourage right now!” / Bubble Bass asks: “Are you TRYING to SEDUCE me?! Is THAT what you're TRYING to do?!” Blonda seductively asks: “Would you LIKE me to seduce YOU?! Is THAT what you're trying to do?” / Marlene says: “You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!” / Marlene says: “Guys, it is clear to me that it is time for ME to come up with a strategy for US to win, since Tigress' plan of, 'Just attack the other side like CRAZY'; isn't WORKING for us!” Tigress scoffs, and says: “I do NOT sound like THAT!!!!” Fee says: “You probably COULD if you TRIED hard enough!” / Private is now in a body cast, covered with porcupine needles, and he says: “On the bright side, the porcupines were STILL very apologetic!” / Theodore says: “WATCH OUT FOR THAT...!!!!” (BANG!!!!) Theodore weakly says: “Tree.” / Fee scoffs, and says: “I SWEAR, you are the MOST generic, most cliché riddled villain EVER!” Anti-Cosmo says: “Aren't those the EASIEST to hate, though?” / Private sighs, and he says: “I was AFRAID of this! Sooner or later, women ALWAYS figure out the truth! ALWAYS!” / Jenny says: “No WAY! You're THE Danny Phantom?!” / Tigress says: “Well, if I'm something that CAN be stopped, than just TRY to STOP me!” / Tigress says: “Don't TRY it, Katarra! I have the high ground!” Katarra says: “Your over-confidence is YOUR weakness! NEVER underestimate the abilities of a Water-Bender when ELIMINATION is on the line!” / Tigress chuckles: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!!” / Katarra is heavily bandaged and, she says: “Hoist by my own petard. I did NOT see THAT coming!” / Bubble Bass says: "The stuff I've filled MY brain with isn't 'Pointless'. Why, just knowing a HANDFUL of the stuff I know, could net you on AVERAGE, about $44,440 a night on 'Jeopardy', depending on the categories and how much you successfully wager on the Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy of course!" / Juandissimo Magnifico says: "And in related news, Justin Beiber has JUST been STRUCK by LIGHTNING!!!!" General Barracuda yells: "Oh, YEAH?!!! Well, who asked YOU?!!!!" / Tigress says: "Are you saying that I'm the ONLY capable contestant on OUR team?!" Johnny says: "At least she said, 'OUR' team, this time!" / Johnny says: "And what about the Final Three? What THEN?!" Tigress says: "The challenge will be a CAKE walk for me, because I'll be competing against LARD BUTT Bubble Bass, and noodle arms Private! I'll run CIRCLES around them, and compete the challenge in fifteen minutes, which is par for the COURSE for me!" / Tigress says: "Hello! If all the Power Pandas are out looking for a challenge, there MUST be a challenge that will be taking place! It's just LOGIC!" Fee says: "Oh, it's logic all right; it's Insane Troll Logic, and I can't BELIEVE that I personally KNOW what that is!" / Tigress groans, and she says: "What a bunch of WHINERS!!!! They're all acting like this is Kindergarden or something, and that I'm not giving them the time to take their regularly scheduled naps! I NEVER took a nap when I was training with Master Shifu, and I turned out just fine!" / Bubble Bass says: "Now that you mention it, you're right! Something DOES smell in here, and it smells a whole lot WORSE than that time I was in that swamp with Patrick!" / Bonnie says: "General Barracuda, if we don't make it out of here, there's something I have to tell you about Bubble Bass!" General Barracuda says: "Bonnie, I know you're upset, that he's fat, Brilliant, but lazy, and a bit of a snob, but over the last few challenges, he's proven to me that he can be a real stand-up guy, he just needs the right incentive!" Bonnie says: "Bubble Bass isn't his real name, it's a nickname he gave himself." General Barracuda says: "I didn't know that!" Bonnie says: "His real name IS Horatio!" General Barracuda SOMEHOW doesn't get it, and he says: "That's nice." Bonnie seriously says: "HORATIO BARRACUDA the Second. YOU'RE his father!" General Barracuda shouts: "HOW IN THE H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID YOU LET HIM GET THAT FAT?!!!" / Fee shouts: "WHOO-HOO! I am SO GLAD I got ME one of THESE!!!!" / Bubble Bass says: "I'm STILL having trouble understanding this whole thing! How could YOU actually BE my father?! You're NOT my father!" General Barracuda seriously says: "You bet your BIG BUTT that I am, and I've got NEWS for you, kid, you're going to STRAIGHTEN up your act, help your mom out more around the house, and be more active in life!" Bubble Bass asks: "What happened to, 'There ain't a darn thing wrong with you, and don't let anybody tell you any different'?!" General Barracuda says: "That was BEFORE I was your father!" / Johnny asks: "Didn't you even SEE that 1980's movie?!" Tigress yells: "WHAT 1980's movie?!" Johnny says: "You know what? Escape now, argue later!" / General Barracuda says: "Speaking of Bubble Bass, turns out, he's MY son!!!!" Sniz shockingly asks: "YOUR son?!" General Barracuda says: "Don't worry, I'll treat him the same as any other contestant. In the meantime, there's something that I need to do!" Bonnie asks: "What's that?" General Barracuda seriously says: "Something that I should have done a LONG time ago, once I lost Ambrosia, and once you lost Bobby Bass. Bonnie Carp Bass, will you give this foolish man the chance he didn't take, and give it to me now? Will, you marry me?" Bonnie says: "Well, let me THINK about it...YES!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I've got a FATHER!!!! I've got a father!" / Tigress yells: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ATTITUDE?!!!" Brittany says: "Well, NOTHING! If you're 'Xena: The Warrior Princess', who I can mention by name, since I'm not planning on making any money off of that!" / Johnny says: "Once again, we come to the same root of your BIGGEST problem, that you simply FAIL to comprehend! You think that this is all about, 'You, You, You'. Well, the last team challenge is going to take PLACE soon, Tigress! So, the Fairy Tale is over." Johnny than shouts to Tigress: "WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!!!! You WANT to WIN the game so BADLY?! EARN it, and show some FREAKING empathy ONCE, in a while!" Tigress angrily says: "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!" Johnny rhetorically says: "NO, YOU, Take that back!" Tigress says: "How DARE YOU, you insolent PEASANT?! Nobody talks to ME that way! Nobody!" Than Tigress shouts with an echoing effect: "NOBODY! Nobody! Nobody..." Johnny mockingly says: "Well, what have we got here, Brittany? Those flashy eyes, those fleshed cheeks, those trembling lips. You know SOMETHING, Tigress? You are UGLY, when you're angry!" / Private says: "A pirate based challenge? How cliche!" Kowalski sighs, and says: "Well, statistically, this show was bound to HAVE to do one EVENTUALLY!" / Jenny says: "It's nice to meet you in person, Angelica." Angelica says: "I'm sorry, I HAVE this policy of NOT speaking to LOSERS!" Jenny says: "I'm NOT a loser...unless, everyone ELSE thinks I am!" Kowalski says: "Don't worry! We have NO intention of thinking that!" / Bubble Bass says: "Don't go NEAR them! Don't you know what Sirens DO to guys that fall into their traps?! They COOK you, than EAT you! Or WORSE!" Johnny asks: "What could be WORSE than THAT?!" Bubble Bass says: "GIFT Shops!" / Angelica screams: "AHHH!!!! I'm going to die, I'm going to DIE!!!! I'm gonna be BLOWN up, and than I'm going to die!!!!" / Angelica tearfully writes what APPEARS to be a Last Will and Testament! Angelica says: "To my mother, and my father, I leave my entire collection of trophies, medals, awards, and other academic achievements, that I have earned throughout the years. To my two younger cousins, Tommy and Dil, I leave..." Than Angelica changes her tone, and angrily says: "NOTHING!!!! Earn it YOURSELVES, you SLACKERS!" / Tigress, with faux empathy, says: "Oh, you want to lighten the LOAD!!!!" Tigress quickly GRABS Brittany, and Tigress says: "EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!" / Johnny says: "Tigress, if you ONLY listen to me for ONCE in your LIFE, do it NOW, and WALK away FOREVER!!!!" / Jenny says: "Rule 42, all persons more than a mile high, must LEAVE the game IMMEDIATELY!" / Tigress nervously says: "You don't want to eat ME!!!! I'd be so TOUGH, and...gamey!" / Brittany, in her normal voice, says: "I'm...I'm ALIVE!!!!" And she looks at Bubble Bass, and she says: "And you're...you're NAKED!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "AGAIN?!!! I'm starting to WONDER why I even BOTHER wearing clothes to these challenges at all!" Johnny says: "Because it's FUNNY!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "No it's NOT! It's just STUPID!!!! It's almost as DUMB as the time Spongebob Squarepants sold everything INCLUDING all his clothes, just so he could buy the Le Spatula 3,000!" / Johnny sarcastically says: "Oh, NOW you remember that you have an alliance?!" / Johnny Krill shockingly says: "WHAT?!!! Does Tigress have some CREEPY Pendant of Life finding Radar INSTALLED in her BODY?!!!" / Tigress says: "I WISH I had some CREEPY Pendant of Life Finding Radar INSTALLED in my body! It would make my game a whole lot easier!" / The Clip Montage ends, and the C.G.I. words make a fancy exit off-screen as the poppy music ends. / "Performance Review: Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen" / The episode opens up proper, focusing on a big green couch, in front of a studio, filled with Fairy Godparents who are STILL on strike, and Norbert and Daggett walk out to the big green couch! Norbert says: "Welcome to another Performance Review! Coming back for more fun, I'm Norbert Foster Beaver!" Daggett says: "And I'm Daggett! And sorry, but I am happily married, and spoken for!" Norbert says: "I am to, you know." Daggett says: "Any word yet on when they're going to start work on Angry Beavers: Re-spooted?" Norbert says: "Daggett, when I know something, you'll know something, okay?" Daggett sighs, and says: "All right, then." Norbert says: "Anyways, it's time to do our regularly scheduled Performance Review! Naturally, Blonda couldn't be here due to being...indisposed, and Treeflower is at home taking care of my kids! But don't worry, we're going to have tons of fun interviewing the previously eliminated contestants from this season!" Daggett says: "And we might have some OTHER surprises to, BUT, you have to keep WATCHING in order to find out what those are! See how that works?!" Norbert says: "Right! Here are the eliminated contestants, as follows!" Daggett says: "Bessie Higgenbottom, from The Mighty B!" Norbert says: "Rico, from The Penguins of Madagascar!" Daggett says: "Katarra, from Avatar: The Last Airbender!" Norbert says: "Danny Fenton, from Danny Phantom, in CASE that wasn't ALREADY obvious!" Daggett says: "Fee, from Harvey Beaks!" Norbert says: "And last but not least, Theodore Seville AND Brittany Miller from Alvinnnn!!!! And The Chipmunks, in today's episode, that we're calling, 'Confessions Of A Teenage Chipmunk Queen', in honor of Brittany Miller, herself!" Daggett says: "So sit tight and hang on, while we get this show on the road, with our very first former contestant for today!" Norbert says: "Right! She was a talker...and a talker...and a talker...and a talker...did she do anything else BUT talk?!" Daggett says: "Not that I can think of, and I was actually PAYING attention this time!" Norbert says: "Right! The sole representative from The Mighty B!, give it up for Bessie Higgenbottom!" And Bessie Higgenbottom walks onstage, wearing a wig that makes her LOOK like Amy Poehler, and Daggett says: "Hold it! Before you sit down on the couch, would you PLEASE stand on the mark that LOOKS like an 'X'?" Bessie asks: "Whatever for?" Daggett thinks about it, shrugs his shoulders, and says: "No reason." Bessie says: "Okay!" Norbert says: "So Bessie, why don't you tell us ALL about why YOU think you lost your chance to win $1.4 million this season!" Bessie says: "Okay! First off, I think it's because, my great, great--." (CRACK!!!!) And Bessie NEVER gets to finish her thought, because an overhead stage light CRACKS from the ceiling, and falls RIGHT on top of her, SMASHING her through the floor! Daggett's mood sours, and with BAD, BAD Acting says: "OH, looks like that stage light wasn't totally fixed like Anti-Cosmo SAID it would be! And just when Bessie's story was REALLY starting to get interesting, to! So instead, let's bring out our FIRST surprise for today! Surprise guests, Lil Deville and Stimpy!" Norbert seriously says: "You just COULDN'T wait until the interview was finished, COULD you?!" Daggett says: "Hey! If we LET Bessie Higgenbottom talk, the episode will be OVER!!!! We've got a schedule to keep!" Norbert groans, but unwilling to carry it any further, says: "FINE!!!! Lil Deville and Stimpy, come on out!" Lil Deville comes out excitedly, while Stimpy follows, but his mood is still somewhat sour! Daggett says: "It's good to have you back, Lil and Stimpy! I just wish Stimpy's face actually LOOKED happy, like it's supposed to!" Lil says: "You can't really blame him, his divorce with Ren Hoek has just been finalized, and we've finished moving everything of our's back to Los Angeles. Stimpy is glad to be back in Hollywood and everything, but, it's still hard for Stimpy to be without Ren, in spite of all the mood swings Ren has had all the years." Norbert says: "I can vouch for that! Now, Stimpy, you DON'T have to answer this question if you don't want to; but if you do, will you tell us how you are feeling right now about everything?" Stimpy sighs, and says: "Personally, I don't really feel like talking about it. I did what I had to do to keep my kids, my wife, and myself safe. Ren only has himself to blame, for NOT getting the help he SAID he was going to get for all the trouble he faced with HIS parents, being raised in an environment with Toxic Masculinity! While I can personally empathize and sympathize with the troubles Ren has gone through, I simply cannot overlook his mood swings ANY longer, especially NOT when they involve my kids! Eventually, I had to reach the point where I realized that, 'Freudian Excuse is NO Excuse'!" Daggett says: "That's certainly telling it like it is!" Stimpy says: "I guess, what I thought was romance with Ren, was only some form of a long term 'Stockholm Syndrome;, not that he put me in that position, but because I wanted SO hard to bring out the goodness that I KNEW was inside of him! I guess the only reason I didn't leave him sooner, was because I thought that if I left him, that would mean all the time I spent with him, would've been all for NOTHING! I guess it's only when Ren showed his TRUE colors, by trying to hurt my kids, was that he was NEVER interested in wanting me to help him, he only wanted to keep me around, for his OWN personal amusement! Ren might have thought he was wasting MY time! But you know what I think? In reality, the only time HE wasted, was HIS! Because now, he's finally paying the price! He's in jail, he's NEVER allowed to come to California AGAIN on penalty of getting jailed AGAIN, IF he ever gets out, and he has effectively become an 'Unperson' to me, Lil, and my kids!" Norbert says: "Don't your kids...STILL...kind of love Ren?" Stimpy says: "As Tina Turner once sang, 'What's Love Got To Do With It'? And unlike her song, there are some things in life more important than misplaced love! The safety of my kids must come first!" Daggett asks: "Don't you care about what your kids think?" Stimpy says: "Of course I do! It's just...I don't know how to explain it in my own words, so I guess I'll have to sing it! Specifically, I'm going to sing ABBA's, 'The Winner Takes It All'. Take it away, Lil!" / A musical sequence begins. Lil is wearing a fancy blue dress, playing a Piano, and Stimpy is in a tuxedo, singing into a microphone. / Stimpy sings: "I don't want to talk, about the things we've gone through. Though it's hurting me, now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done, too. Nothing more to say, no more ace to play. The winner takes it all, the loser's standing small. Besides the victory, that's my destiny. I was in his arms, thinking I belonged there. I figured it made sense, building me a fence. Building me a home, thinking I'd be stong there. But I was just a fool, playing by his rules. The gods may throw a dice, his mind's as cold as ice! And someone way down there, loses someone dear." Lil joins in, and sings the back-up vocals to Stimpy's singing: "The winner takes it all (takes it all), the loser has to fall (has to fall). It's simple and it's plain (it seems plain), why should I complain? (Why complain?) (Instrumental Solo) Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you. But what else can I say? Rules must be obeyed. The judges will decide (they decide), the likes of me abide (we abide). Spectators of the show (of the show), always staying low (staying low). The game is on again (on again), a lover or a friend (or a friend). A big thing or a small (or a small), the winner takes it all (takes it all). I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad. And I understand, if you've come to shake my hand. I apologise if it makes you feel bad. Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence. But you see, the winner takes it all! (So the winner, takes it all. And the loser, has to fall. Throw a dice, cold as ice. Way down here, someone dear. Takes it all, has to fall. It seems plain, why complain?") And the piano plays until the song ends. / Norbert and Daggett clap loudly, astounded by their talents! Norbert says: "Thank you, Stimpy and Lil, your skills were magnificent." Lil says: "Thank you, I've been practicing." Stimpy says: "And you know what, I feel better now. In my opinion, the only REAL loser of this whole ordeal, is Ren! Because he has lost THIS guy FOREVER!" Daggett says: "You said it, why don't you take a seat in the bleachers, now?" Lil says: "Thank you, we will." And they both take a seat in the currently empty former contestant's row. Norbert says: "We've got to take a break right down. But don't worry! When we come back, we'll interview Rico, Katarra, Theodore, Danny, Fee, and Brittany! So stay tuned, for the rest of the show!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!