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4EverGreen

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4EverGreen last won the day on May 14

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About 4EverGreen

  • Birthday 08/27/1985

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    It's Morphing Time!

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    Everyone has a right to their own opinion; I was the March 2017 Employee Of The Month; I Was King Neptune on 8-27-2020!
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    California, USA
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    Spongebob

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  1. I'm finally ready to write my first official entry for this Spin-Off Festival, and BOY, is it a DOOZY! Let's get right back to it with the second and final half of this brand new episode! / After the commercials end, the contestants are at the steps of knowledge! General Barracuda says: "Hey! I'm finally in the show! All right, contestants; as soon as Sniz gets back, Olmec will tell you about the legend, than he will ask questions to see how well you paid attention! And Green Monkeys?" Darwin answers: "Yes?" General Barracuda says: "If ONE of you is SMART to get to the bottom of the Steps of Knowledge first, you'll receive an Immunity Pendant of Life!" Spongebob says: "That's GREAT! I can TOTALLY do that!" Treeflower says: "Are YOU kidding?! He said; 'SMART', not 'STUPID'!" Spongebob yells: "WHAT?!!!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "Treeflower pressed Spongebob's 'Berserk Button', she shouldn't have DONE that!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "I thought you were OVER the whole, 'I'm better than everyone else in the competition' trait that you had in your FIRST two seasons!" Treeflower says: "I'm STILL smarter than you, and the ONLY one qualified to get us to the bottom!" Stimpy groans, and he says: "Come on, Treeflower, DON'T do this to Spongebob!" Spongebob asks: "Are you CHALLENGING me?!" Treeflower says: "That would IMPLY that you are a THREAT to me! And we ALL know that YOU'RE no threat to ANYBODY, because you are just TOO WEAK!!!!" And with a SUDDEN burst of golden energy; Spongebob yells in a deep voice: "SPONGEBOB IS NOT WEAK!!!!" And it dissipates in an instant, taking EVERYBODY aback! (Confessional) Aang morphs into Master Coelaceanth's garb, and in Master Coelaceanth's voice, even HE nervously asks: "Have I ACTUALLY been underestimating that sponge this WHOLE time?! NO sponge should be capable of producing a power level THAT high, especially NOT him! I may have to accelerate my plans for ELIMINATING that sponge to be sooner, rather than later!" Aang morphs back into his own clothes, and in his own voice says: "That's FINE with me! I don't want to have THAT stupid sponge messing up MY plans to win this season ANYWAYS!" / Zarbon says: "I always thought that if I ever actually WITNESSED a Super Saiyan, it would come from an ACTUAL Saiyan! Not some...sponge! How did he ever GET such power in the FIRST place?!" / General Barracuda says: "Back in season three, when I tried to make Spongebob my personal apprentice, when I tried to TRICK him into thinking that he had NO free will and thus was as bad as I was; during his transformation, I briefly saw him turn GOLD! I thought that was a fluke, but it looks like I may have unlocked MORE than I bargained for! I guess even Spongebob has a BREAKING point; I'm just glad that I'm NOT the one who broke it!" / Tigress says: "Did I ACTUALLY almost cause THAT?! I've fought a LOT of things, but a BERSERK sponge Hell bent on DESTROYING you is NOT one of them! I can't IMAGINE how much Spongebob has been holding back his repressed anger from the people who have tormented him ALL of these years! And it seems like Treeflower's comment was FINALLY the thing that caused him to reach the tipping point! I just hope Spongebob can keep control of himself, for his own sake! If there's one thing I've learned, is that with great power, comes GREAT responsibility!" / Spongebob says: "I think I just BLACKED out for a bit! Did something just happen?! Everybody's acting SCARED of me for some reason!" / Squidward says: "Maybe it IS a good thing that I'm NOT trying to antagonize Spongebob anymore! I wouldn't want to have to fight him in THAT state like...EVER!!!!" / Treeflower gulps nervously, and she says: "Well, that blows MY whole 'Spongebob is weak' theory out of the water! I did NOT sign up for this!" (End Confessional) Sniz comes back, and he says: "Okay, contestants! I'm ready to begin the Steps of Knowledge! Why does everyone look so scared?" Daggett says: "Little Miss Stuck-Up TREEFLOWER had to be a BIG SHOT, didn't you?! You HAD to OPEN up your MOUTH! She insulted Spongebob RIGHT to his face, and caused him to ROYALLY freak out!" Spongebob asks: "I FREAKED out?!" Sandy asks: "You DON'T even remember?!" Spongebob says: "No! I just remember, Treeflower told me something...than, NOTHING, until I wound up in the Confessional!" Dog says: "I always thought that if somebody were to LOSE it, that Spongebob would've been the LAST contestant that would've faced that possibility!" Keswick says: "Well, the answer is OBVIOUS; just don't INSULT Spongebob again!" Otto says: "I won't! But you can't COUNT on the Silver Snakes not to try something THAT stupid and dangerous! As far as I'm concerned, you can't trust them as far as you can THROW them, especially not SNAPTRAP!" Snaptrap says: "STOP doing that!" Kitty says: "You mean, singling YOU out?" Snaptrap says: "Exactly! It's getting on my nerves!" Dudley says: "Well, now you know how WE feel every time YOU threaten Petropolis!" (Confessional) Daggett grabs out a notebook, and he writes in it! Daggett says: "Note to self; NEVER insult Spongebob!" / Spongebob says: "Blacked OUT?! I haven't blacked out since the time I had Fluffy Puffy! I...honestly don't remember anything about it, but Gary says I acted COMPLETELY O.O.C! I don't LIKE acting like that! I think I better talk to Sandy when I get a chance! She'll know how to deal with it!" / Sandy says: "I honestly DON'T know how to deal with that! That kind of anger, I've never SEEN from Spongebob before! It's not healthy to just HOLD that anger in all the time! Sooner or later, it's GOING to come out! I just hope I can figure out just WHAT it is, and help Spongebob deal with it in a healthy way!" / Otto says: "I always call it the way I see it! Snaptrap is the lowest of the low! He and Angelica DESERVE each other!" / Dudley says: "I hate to admit it, but it felt so GOOD to finally be able to tell Snaptrap off like that!" / Snaptrap groans, and he says: "FINE! I suppose I DESERVED that! But do I look like the type who would TRY to insult Spongebob after witnessing a FREAK OUT like that?! Rhetorical question; and I wouldn't! I value my own life TOO much to EVER risk a beatdown, even if it IS from a sponge!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I'm sure that what you've been through is VERY interesting, but can we PLEASE just get through an episode where EVERYTHING happens the way it's supposed to?" Gerald says: "You'll have to ask the Silver Snakes about that! Because the rest of us are playing with a full deck, but they sure aren't!" Taotie says: "Hey! I haven't acted devious or evil on THIS season ONCE!" Po says: "So FAR!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "I know they want to catch me doing something, but they can keep WAITING, because it's NEVER going to happen! / Gerald says: "No matter what happens, I plan on keeping MY cool this season; with or without any unexpected developments!" (End Confessional) Monster says: "I think we can get through an episode! Just one question before we do!" Sniz asks: "What would that be?" Monster says: "I thought one of the reasons Fondue was jailed, was because he allowed Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a permit, but they are STILL naked right now! What gives?" Sniz says: "Well, we didn't WANT to impose anything on our contestants that THEY didn't want, so this season, I made sure to fill out the PROPER forms, and it allows Bubble Bass and Po to be the best versions of themselves! I mean, if they're not forcing ANYBODY to be like them, it wouldn't be right for us, to force TEHM to be like us!" Wally says: "And that's a logic that I can TOTALLY agree with!" Zarbon says: "Oh, yeah?! Bubble Bass, you think you're SO smart being naked, what are you going to do if it gets COLD where you live?!" Bubble Bass smugly replies: "That's the reason I SAVED my Wolf Boy costume for just such an occasion!" Monster says: "All right! That's fine with me!" (Confessional) Zarbon says: "Well, Bubble Bass may not be one of the PRETTIEST creatures on this planet, but he's definitely one of the SMARTEST! I actually have to kind of respect that!" / Bubble Bass says: "While I don't think I'm on the same level as Bulma Briefs is, when it comes to being 'Crazy Prepared', I think I do pretty well for myself. It will be interesting to see how I stack up against the master schemer herself. In a way, I could probably learn a lot from her...on what NOT to do in a competition! And I already have a pretty good idea on what that looks like!" / Monster says: "The best version of themselves! I wonder what the best version of MYSELF would be like?" / Wally says: "Not everybody is lucky to have a robot buddy named Yay-Ok, or a buddy like Bubble Bass to help me be the best version of myself! That's why I'm glad to know them! I feel more like the best version of myself around them, than anyone else I know!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal the contestants who will be tackling the Steps Of Knowledge! For the Silver Snakes, it's Aang and Haggis! For the Green Monkeys, it's Spongebob and Stimpy! For the Red Jaguars, it's Sandy and Judy! And for the Blue Barracudas, it's Gonard and Bubble Bass! Now, Olmec will tell us about the Legend of the Lost Arms of Venus De Milo!" Olmec says: "During the Hellenistic Period of Ancient Greece, between 150 through 125 B.C.E., Alexandros of Antioch carved a statue out of Parian marble, measuring 6 feet eight inches high. The Greeks called it 'Afrodíti tis Mílou', or as the English speaking world has come to know it, the Venus De Milo. Believed to depict Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love, the Venus De Milo has come to be known as one of the most famous works of Ancient Greek sculpture! The Venus De Milo originally had arms, and it is said that when Hercules was completing his 12 labors to become a Greek God, he accidentally threw a pebble too hard, and caused the arms to BREAK off of the statue! The statue became lost sometime during the fourth century A.C.E., but was rediscovered in 1820, on the island of Milos, Greece. While the statue itself is now displayed in the Louvre Museum of France, the arms themselves became lost to the mists of time, until they found their way to the temple! Your task is to retrieve the lost arms of Venus De Milo, and bring it back to the Temple entrance!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the lost arms of Venus De Milo be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Arms of Venus De Milo can be found at the bottom of the Devils' Slide, inside the Mine Shaft!" Sniz says: "All right! Teams, you will take turns answering questions! Green Monkeys, if you are the first team to get down, you will get an Immunity Pendant of Life, and the second team down will get an advantage in the final challenge! Olmec, it's time to ask the questions!" Olmec asks: "When was the Venus De Milo originally carved?" Spongebob rings in and he says: "Between 150 through 125 B.C.E." Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Treeflower go down a step. Taotie says: "So you CAN answer one question, do you think ANYBODY is impressed?!" Tigress says: "I'm impressed that HIS foot moved FASTER than mine! Of course, it DOES help if you have SOMETHING to prove!" Taotie asks: "What's THAT supposed to mean?!" Tigress says: "Spongebob has INCENTIVE to prove himself, YOU don't! And that can make ALL the difference in the world!" And Taotie just growls angrily! (Confessional) Treeflower groans, and she says: "OOH, I kind of HATE it that SPONGEBOB answered, and got it RIGHT! That should be ME! Of course, I can't AFFORD to tick him off again, I HAD to suck it up, no matter how much I HATED it!" / Tigress says: "I never thought the little sponge could manage to impress me. Spongebob MAY be a more interesting opponent than I gave him credit for, and that doesn't happen often for me!" / Bubble Bass says: "The challenging thing when playing against Spongebob, is that you can't be EXACTLY sure of what he is thinking at any given moment! Underestimating him could be the BIGGEST mistake during your time as a contestant! And while I have a good idea as to what he can do, he has NEVER before exhibited such a level of anger and determination, and those are two VASTLY conducive factors to consider, when facing off against an opponent, no matter WHAT level of skill you THINK they might have! I'm last season's champion, and I think that even I'LL have a hard time competing against him!" (End Confessional) Olmec says: "Who carved the statue of the Venus De Milo?" And Spongebob rings AGAIN! Spongebob says: "Alexandros of Antioch!" Olmec says: "That is correct!" And Spongebob and Treeflower go down ANOTHER step! Taotie ACTUALLY starts to sweat and he says: "Okay, NOW I'm a little nervous!" Daggett sarcastically retorts: "You THINK?! If Spongebob gets the NEXT one correct, Aang will ROYALLY freak!" And Daggett motions to Aang, whose face is LITERALLY turning red with anger! Daggett adds: "Of course, it's currently impossible to tell if it's Aang, Master Coelaceanth, or BOTH, who are feeling that way!" (Confessional) Aang screams: "WHEN DID SPONGEBOB GET SO SMART?!" / Bubble Bass says: "Didn't I say it? Underestimating Spongebob is a BIG weakness! If Master Coelaceanth thought it was BAD losing to me, can you imagine how he would react if SPONGEBOB managed to beat him? The blow to his ego would be absolutely crushing, and dangerous! I'm not sure whether I should be excited about the prospect, or nervous! Either way, I'll grab a bag of popcorn for when the action goes down!" / Daggett says: "And here I thought it would be EASY for me to outlast Spongebob in a season AGAIN! Looks like THAT ship is sinking fast, just like the Edmund Fitzgerald, which I ONLY know of because of that Gordon Lightfoot song!" (End Confessional) Olmec says: "Where was the Venus De Milo rediscovered?" And Spongebob rings AGAIN! Spongebob says: "On the island of Milos, Greece!" Olmec says: "That is correct! You have completed the Steps of Knowledge!" Sniz says: "Congratulations, Spongebob! And for answering ALL your team's questions, YOU get the Immunity Pendant of Life for the Green Monkeys!" Otto simply says: "Hmmph! Your LUCK will run out EVENTUALLY, Spongebob!" Spongebob snarkily says: "Lucky for me, I'm not RELYING on luck, I'm relying on KNOWLEDGE, that I have absorbed by reading a LOT of books! You ought to TRY it sometime!" Gerald says: "BURN!!!!" Otto sputters, and he says: "When did HE learn how to SNARK?!" (Confessional) Otto says: "I can accept a LOT of things! Suzie being the breadwinner of OUR house?! Okay! Spongebob actually BEING smart? FINE! But trying to out-snark me is where I draw the LINE! Nobody over snarks me and gets away with it! He is going down on PRINCIPLE!" / Treeflower says: "I can't BELIEVE I didn't get to answer a SINGLE question! Is Spongebob TRYING to make ME look USELESS?! It's MY job to make OTHER contestants look USELESS! If he DIDN'T have the Pendant of Life right NOW...I guess I've got no choice but to FORCE him to play it the next chance we get! If ANYBODY is getting to the Final Two, it's GOING to be ME!!!!" / Tigress MOCKS Treeflower, and she says: "If anybody is getting to the Final Two, it's going to be ME! Does SHE even LISTEN to herself when she TALKS?! I sure wish I did, I could've SAVED myself a lot of trouble!" (End Confessional) However, Spongebob's win DAMAGES a NERVE deep in Master Coelaceanth's psyche, and Aang, in Master Coelaceanth's voice, screams: "I will NOT LET MYSELF BE HUMILIATED BY A SPONGE!!!!" And he RAISES his arms in frustration; but as he does so, his arms ACCIDENTALLY brush up against Haggis McHaggis, and even THAT little brush causes Haggis to FALL down the Steps of Knowledge, resulting in a SICKENING CRACK!!!! Kitty screams: "Aang, you JERK!!!! What have YOU done?!" Aang, in his normal voice, says: "It was an ACCIDENT! I SWEAR! I wouldn't have done that on PURPOSE! How was I supposed to know he could lose his balance THAT easily?!" General Barracuda says: "I reviewed the footage. His story checks out; he did NOT raise his arms with an intent to brush Haggis down the stairs!" Haggis groans, and he says: "HELP!!!! I've fallen and I...can't get up!" Blonda winces, and she says: "Ooh, that's not GOOD!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "You THINK?! We could be DOWN another player, and we haven't even LOST yet!" Zim says: "But we haven't even PLAYED the Final Challenge yet!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "That would IMPLY that you were CAPABLE of PERFORMING the Final Challenge, wouldn't it?!" (Confessional) Aang, in his normal voice says: "I did NOT want to lose HAGGIS this way! He was supposed to QUIT humiliated, not BREAK himself! This season isn't going the way I WANT it to at all!" / Haggis is in a full-body cast, and he sadly says: "This didn't USE to happen to me! The spirit is willing, but the rest of me...I guess maybe I'm NOT cut out to be a contestant anymore!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "I'm calling it. Haggis, you are in clearly no condition to continue on in this competition. I'm calling in a Med Evac for your own health and safety. We will even PAY for all your medical bills and rehabilitation, if you PROMISE not to sue us!" Haggis groans, and he says: "I promise." Sniz asks: "Promise PROMISE? Not a fake promise? You're fingers aren't crossed are they?" And Haggis manages to lift up his un-crossed fingers. Sniz says: "Bada, Bing, take him away!" Bada and Bing bring out a stretcher, and they lay Haggis on it! Stimpy says: "Haggis, wait!" Haggis asks: "What do you want, Stimpy?" Stimpy says: "Look, I'm just sorry we didn't get a chance to really interact this season. I just want you to know that there's still SO much I could've LEARNED from you!" Haggis says: "And I wish I could've shown you, but it looks like I no longer can!" Stimpy thinks about it, and he says: "Well, maybe you still CAN! You may not PHYSICALLY be able to do some things anymore, but you can STILL talk about them! You can write a book about your experiences, and be able to inspire people that way!" Haggis excitedly says: "Do you really think I can write a book?!" Stimpy says: "Sure! If anybody can do it, I'm SURE that you can!" Haggis says: "I'll do it! Thanks Stimpy, you've made me feel a lot better about this!" Stimpy says: "That's what I'm here for!" Haggis sighs in contentment, and he says: "All right, gorillas, take me away!" And Bada and Bing carry Haggis out of the competition. Sniz says: "Okay, with Haggis out of the competition, that officially means that the Silver Snakes won't have to face an Elimination Ceremony, having already LOST a member. Since we can't REALLY hold a Final Challenge with only three teams, I'll just say the Green Monkeys already HAVE a chance to enter the Temple, and go to a Sudden Death Tie-Breaker Question, between the Red Jaguars, and the Blue Barracudas! Whichever team answers this question correctly, WON'T have to face an Elimination Ceremony! Where is the Venus De Milo, currently on display?" And Sandy Cheeks rings in first, and she answers: "The Louvre Museum in Paris, France!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You are safe from elimination! Blue Barracudas, your fate awaits you once this challenge is over! Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, you will get to go into the Temple! And NO, Tigress, you CAN'T compete again YET, you have to give someone ELSE a turn!" Tigress rolls her eyes and says: "Fine! Judy Funny!" Pearl suspiciously asks: "You want JUDY to go in there? She's a guaranteed CATCH by the Temple Guards!" Tigress says: "EXACTLY!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "While I'm NOT egotistical, I STILL don't have time for LOSERS who are going to DRAG me down! If Judy wants to stay, she's going to have to prove herself, and her Temple Run will be a reflection on that!" / Pearl says: "I'll give Tigress points for brutal honesty." / Judy says: "It's time to put my acting skills to good use! Meg Ryan, eat your heart out!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Now, who's going for the Green Monkeys?" Monster raises his hand, and says: "I'll go! This is my chance to be the Best Version of myself!" Sniz says: "Very well! Olmec, tell us about the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Mummy's Crypt, and pull on the correct book, but beware of a Temple Guard! Next, cross the Bridge of Sighs, and using a key on the wall, open the correct pathway! Up above is the Observatory. Spin the Sundial, and go down into the Room of Harmonic Convergence. Place the Crystal Ball on the correct pedestal, which will allow you to go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Assemble the Monkey in the correct order, and you can go into the Emperor's Chamber! Smash the Clay Pots to find the key, which will allow you to go down the Devil's Slide. Down at the bottom is the Mine Shaft, where you can find the Lost Arms of Venus De Milo. Next, smash the stone wall, which will allow you to go into the Haunted Forest. Place the key into the correct tree, but beware of the spirit of a Temple Guard that may be haunting one of them! Next, go into the Room of Harmonic Convergence, and sit on the chair, in order to open the room back into the Pit. Than, climb through the Ledges, and find your way out of the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Are you ready, Judy!" Judy says: "Practically BORN that way!" Sniz says: "Than let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!" And Sniz narrates the action as Judy goes along! Sniz says: "Judy runs into the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard right off the bat! She gives up her Pendant of Life, and she's pulled on the correct book! She's looking for the Key on the Wall, she finds it! Now to find the right door, and she's found it! Up into the Observatory! She spins the Sundial, and down into the Room of Harmonic Convergence! Another Temple Guard! Go Monster, go! He's going through the Mummy's Crypt, across the Bridge of Sighs, into the Observatory, and down into the Room of Harmoic Convergence! He's got the Crystal Ball, and he's found the right pedestal! Into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! He's got the Base, he's got the Stomach, and he's got the Head! The door is open, into the Emperor's Chamber, and another Temple Guard! He gives up his Pendant of Life! Monster is smashing the clay pots, and he's found the key! He opens the door into the Devil's Slide, and (RIP!!!!) a weird sound as he slides down head first! It's dark, I can't really see, but he's got the Lost Arms of Venus De Milo! All the doors are open! Through the Dark Forest, through the Room of Harmonic Convergence, through the Pit, and through the Ledges! And Monster is coming out of the Temple--AHH!!!!" When Monster appears, he is shown ONLY from the waist up, and Monster says: "I did it! I did it! With only 30 seconds to spare, I did it!" Larry says: "You know what ELSE you did? You just WON that challenge without any PANTS!!!!" Monster asks: "I did?" Monster looks down and he says: "I did! That means, this IS the best version of myself!" Keswick looks dumbfounded, and he asks: "Seriously?" Monster says: "I can't believe that I could've been capable of such a feet, but I did it, without clothes! What a great feeling! I can be an inspiration to OTHER monsters!" Jenny says: "Sure, let's...go with that!" Super Chum says: "In any case, you'll be a big help to us, now that you've found the best version of myself." Monster says: "Actually, that's all I WANTED to do this season!" Treeflower asks: "Seriously?" Monster says: "I was worried that when my show got cancelled, that meant that Robot and I didn't have what it takes to be great Nicktoons. But now I realize that the problem wasn't necessarily us, we just lacked that crucial element to being a great Nicktoon; being ourselves! And now that I know how to be the best version of myself, I can help Robot and all the others out to! In any case, I had fun! And I can leave with my head held high!" Dog asks: "Marlene, what do you think?" Marlene says: "Oh, let him go. We probably would've just voted him off in another episode anyways." Sniz says: "Very well, Blue Barracudas, looks like you won't have to face an Elimination Ceremony after all. Instead, Monster will come with me to the Mine Cart of Shame!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Losing Monster to him finding the best version of himself? Eh, tragic. At least we got rid of the weakest link on our team, which surprisingly WASN'T Spongebob! I'm definitely going to have to be a LOT more careful around him!" / Super Chum says: "I would've preferred if Monster stay, but we can't force him to. Besides, I personally WANT him to be happy!" / Marlene says: "Monster may be going away, but we've still got to deal with Spongebob, and find out what's wrong with him! That's going to be the tricky part!" (End Confessional) The Blue Barracudas and The Silver Snakes are at the Elimination Ceremony, but they ALL have a Chocolate Pendant of Life, and are watching Monster about to get into the Mine Cart. Monster asks: "Uh, isn't Haggis McHaggis supposed to be joining me?" Sniz says: "Under normal circumstances, he would. But he's still in traction, it would be entirely INAPPROPRIATE for us to make him ride this! So, you'll have to settle for being a party of one, this time." Monster says: "Okay, just wondering." And Monster puts on his helmet, gets into the Mine Cart, and buckles up! Sniz says: "Ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!!!!" And Monster blasts off on the Mine Cart of Shame, through the Mine Shaft of Losers! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are out of here! The Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes will be able to hunt for another Immunity Pendant of Life, and the competition will be hot! It will be interesting to see which team will have the bigger ambition, and the bigger drive to win! All I know is, trouble will probably be hitting the fan, on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "It will be a 'Hands On' Experience!" / Stinger: Monster exits the portal, and he finds himself in San Quintan Jail in California! Monster says: "What? How did I wind up in a prison of all places?! I better ask someone how I go about getting out of here." Monster knocks the jail bars of a random cell, and he asks: "Excuse me sir, but I'd like to ask..." and the familiar voice of REN Hoek screams: "THE DEVIL?!!! It can't be you! Please, don't take my soul! I SWEAR I didn't mean to try to hurt Stimpy's Kids! It was the SOUL of Master Coelaceanth that TRIED to posess me, and I had to fight him out! PLEASE! I promise I'll be a better dog! I'll even pay Stimpy's child support! Just please spare me! I'll CHANGE!!!!" Monster says: "Wow! I had no idea my MERE appearance could change somebody for the better! Maybe I should make public appearances more often!" / Episode Notes: Haggis McHaggis is eliminated by Med Evac, and Monster Krumholtz decides to quit. Incidentally, this becomes the first time this season where despite a team WINNING a Temple Run (the Green Monkeys), they STILL lose a contestant anyways. First appearance (to everyone EXCEPT General Barracuda), of Spongebob's PREVIOUSLY hidden Super-Powered EVIL side! Featured song in this episode, The Thompson Twins' "Hold Me Now," sung by Spongebob, Sandy, and Larry. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. 40. Haggis McHaggis. 39. Monster Krumholtz. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. / Personal Notes: As any writer will tell you, one of the biggest challenges in writing episodes for a show of this nature, is the ability to develop "Doomed Characters". That is to say, characters who wind up not making it to the end of a series (although it's by elimination, not death in this case). While Haggis' age had previously been the subject of many jokes on this show, the purpose of his elimination was to illustrate just HOW such a factor could NOT be played for laughs, and would actually serve as the catalyst to his elimination! At the very least, it looks like Haggis is going to be inspired to be a teacher, instead of a contestant! And Monster Krumholtz? He arguably had the weakest storyline potential of any contestant in the Green Monkeys, but the Green Monkeys HAD to have at least ONE contestant that was Cannon Fodder, to show that they were NOT going to be Team Retro 2.0, and they suffered their first contestant loss a lot sooner! As for Spongebob; as anyone who deals with ACTUAL sponges can tell you, a sponge can only ABSORB so much! Water, grime, dirt, grease; and in Spongebob's case, negative insults and emotions! Spongebob is a case of what happens if you TRY to just IGNORE feeling negative emotions, you end up SNAPPING under a normally SMALL insult, and in extreme cases, even BLACK out while doing it! Of course, the reason for this happening NOW, will become very plot relevant in the NEXT episode! How; remains to be seen! Enough said, true believers!
  2. This episode was a really good way to explore just how the different characters personally view Spongebob! Mrs. Puff views Spongebob as a "Ratfink" (never thought there would even BE such a reference on this cartoon), speed demon monster, who PURPOSEFULLY wrecks HER school for kicks, when we ALL know that is NOT remotely how it went down! Plankton viewing Spongebob as little more than an annoying bird, who nevertheless SOMEHOW manages to lock Plankton out of his OWN house and/or restaurant, when it was probably Plankton's OWN fault! Bubble Bass views Spongebob as CLOSEST to his ACTUAL characterization, and it's interesting to see a role reversal from "Pickles", where it was Spongebob WANTING perfection, and Bubble Bass not needing it! Interestingly, Bubble Bass was the ONLY one who was revealed to have TOLD (at least mostly) the actual truth, as his navel was STILL damaged from earlier! However, by this point, I think Squidward actually WANTS Spongebob to RUIN things for him, because Squidward could've SO very easily just gotten up OFF of the floor before Spongebob came back in, but Squidward just LAY there, and LET Spongebob trip on him, so I have NO sympathy for Squidward's house being destroyed! At least Spongebob was nice enough to let Norton the Mail Fish (and presumably the others Sans Squidward) use him as an emotional stress ball at his own house. Only downside is, we really didn't get to see Norton's story about Spongebob. However, I guess I would give this episode a 9.4 out of 10. Enough said, true believers!
  3. WhoBibbles pretty much nailed it, this is one of the BEST Bubble Bass episodes I've ever seen in a long time, maybe even TOPPING "Pickles", which is a pretty impressive hat trick! Can't think of anything else to add, other than I thought it was perfect; I'd give it a 10 out of 10! Enough said!
  4. I'll throw at the "Power Rangers Multiverse Force" balloon!
  5. I'll pick the "Old Man Squidward" glove.
  6. I'll start off with "Total Cartoon Legends!"
  7. Quiet Riot: "Bang your head! Metal Health will drive you mad!"
  8. Chubby Checker: "Come on baby, let's do the twist! Come on baby, let's do the twist! Just grab my little hand, and go like this!"
  9. The Rolling Stones: "You've got to roll, roll the tumbling dice!"
  10. Good work, Rebel! (It's going to take me a while to get used to calling you that, but I'll get the hang of it). I can't wait for the re-run and the next issue!
  11. At this point, I don't know what else to say, except that I hope you enjoy reading this episode, as much as I did writing it! / Sniz is in the Tomb of The Pharaohs, and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Legends", there were 42 contestants left, battling it out, for the hopes of getting the grand prize of $44.44 million! As it turns out, Master Coelaceanth's soul survived, and was stuck inside of Tigress! Not wanting to do the evil fish's evil bidding, Tigress utilized the first chance she got, to FORCE Master Coelaceanth out of her mind and body! Unfortunately, Master Coelaceanth's soul landed right inside of Aang! Kind of regretting making Aang mad NOW, aren't you Tigress? Fortunately, Bubble Bass quickly reminded Master Coelaceanth of the most important rule, that no contestant can kill another contestant! Pretty quick thinking, Bubble Bass! After that, Tigress won herself an Immunity Pendant Of Life, while the Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas won immunity! But Aang proved to be crafty! He found himself his OWN Immunity Pendant Of Life! And with Aang and Tigress both playing one, it ended up being both Kaput and Johnny Krill, who had to take a Mine Cart ride! Even though Master Coelaceanth is in Aang's body, Aang is STILL a contestant, and unless he breaks the rules or gets eliminated, we legally CAN'T force Aang out of the contest! But with a new challenge coming up, perhaps there is hope! We'll soon find out which two teams will prevail this time, and which two contestants will be eliminated!" Olmec says: "And if I had hands, I would use them to applaud you right now!" Sniz says: "Speaking of hands, be sure to put your hands together, for a brand new episode, of Total Cartoon Legends!" / Instead of the normal show open, Spongebob, Sandy, and Larry, star in a shot for shot remake of the Thompson Twins music video "Hold Me Now", while singing that song! Spongebob sings: "I have a picture pinned to my wall. An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all. But look at our life now. All tattered and torn. We fuss and we fight and delighting with tears as we cry until dawn. Oh, whoa! Hold me now, whoa! Warm my heart! Stay with me! Let loving start, Let loving start! You say I'm a dreamer. We're two of a kind. Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find. So perhaps I should leave here! Yeah, yeah, go far away! But you know that there's nowhere that I'd rather be than with you here today! Oh, whoa, oh, whoa! Hold me now, whoa! Warm my heart! Stay with me! Let loving start, Let loving start! Hold me now, whoa! Warm my heart! Stay with me! Let loving start, Let loving start, whoa! (Musical Break) You ask if I love you. Well, what can I say? You know that I do, and that this is just one of those games that we play. So I'll sing you a new song. Please don't cry any more! I'll even ask your forgiveness though I don't know just what I'm asking it for! Oh, whoa, oh, whoa! Hold me now! (Hold me in your loving arms). Warm my heart! (Warm my cold and tired heart)! Stay with me! (Oh, won't you stay with me)! Let loving start, Let loving start! Hold me now! (Hold me in your loving arms). Warm my heart! (Warm my cold and tired heart)! Stay with me! (Oh, won't you stay with me! Let loving start! Let loving start! Hold me now! (Hold me in your loving arms). Warm my heart! (Warm my cold and tired heart)! Stay with me! (Oh, won't you stay with me! Let loving start! Let loving start!" / And the Music Video and the song ends! / "The Legend Of The Lost Arms Of Venus De Milo!" / Tigress and Po are together in the same room, Tigress says: "Po, I just want to make one thing clear to you; I would NEVER have devoured Master Coelaceanth, if I thought that maybe his soul would still survive! If I thought for one second that was actually going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have done it! And you KNOW I wouldn't have hurt you under normal circumstances, it was the only way that I could FORCE Master Coelaceanth out of my body! And yes, it was WRONG for me to antagonize Aang, especially now that Master Coelaceanth is inside of him! I did some LOUSY things! Now I need YOUR help to try to get Aang eliminated, so that we can handle him without suffering Penalty Votes! In short, I'd just like to say; help, I need somebody. Help, not just anybody. Help, you know I need someone. Help!" Po sighs, and says: "Tigress, we've been through a lot together, and I know that you've always wanted to be the Dragon Warrior. I think the reason Master Oogway didn't select you, was precisely BECAUSE you were NEVER the type to admit your mistakes or ask for help! But what you have JUST said...!...Well, that took a lot of courage! And the fact that you admitted your mistakes to me, in words that I NEVER thought you would say, indicates that you've finally lost some of your Kung Fu Arrogance! Of COURSE I'll do what I can to try to eliminate Aang! The safety of ALL the contestants, comes before trying to win some game show!" Tigress genuinely says: "Thank you, Po! I promise you, I will NOT forget this noble thing you're doing for me!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now those days are gone, and I'm not so self-assured. Now I find, I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors. Yes, that song may be 57 years old, but it still rings true. I thought I could handle anything that came my way myself. But when Master Coelaceanth tried to hijack my body, I almost LOST everything because of that! I can't afford to let that happen EVER again! Although, in some weird way, I do have to thank Master Coelaceanth. He made me truly realize, just what TRUE evil looks like, and if he didn't force me to confront my OWN insecurities, I never would've realized just why I WAS acting so arrogant! It's been so LONG since the last time I saw my Dad, I've been TRYING to forget all the times he...exceeded my OWN abilities! Thankfully, I realized that trying to beat Spongebob, is NOT the same as...winning over my father. It never could be, and I have to accept that. However, that doesn't mean that I can't use this experience to grow and become better from it, because I certainly CAN grown and become better! First thing's first; Aang gets eliminated, than we deal with Master Coelaceanth." / Po says: "When it comes to exceeded physical limits, Tigress could do that easily! But overcoming emotional insecurities? That's always been Tigress' hard point! And that breakthrough we just had, indicates that she's FINALLY outgrowing her old Arrogant behavior! Of couse, I was NEVER going to TELL her she was arrogant! She HAD to realize that for herself! And now that she has, now I KNOW that I can help her with ANYTHING she needs, because I know that she respects me!" (End Confessional) Haggis has gathered the remaining Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes together, minus Aang. Haggis asks: "Any new developments on Aang?" Daggett says: "Not a blasted word! He's locked himself up TIGHT in his trailer, and if he and/or Master Coelaceanth are having any ideas, they are keeping those ideas to themselves!" Kitty says: "Maybe it's better this way. After all, Aang can't POSSIBLY counter our ideas if he DOESN'T join in on our team meetings! We can use this to our advantage!" Zim says: "Reality check; Master Coelaceanth is inside of Aang! He is LARGE, and in CHARGE!" Blonda says: "Zim does have one point; as long as Master Coelaceanth is inside of Aang's body, there's no telling WHAT kind of terrible things he might try to do! Granted, he can't kill! But that STILL leave's a lot of room for other kinds of suffering that ISN'T killing!" Harvey Beaks says: "I'd hate to say it, but you Silver Snakes might have to THROW the challenge this time!" Snaptrap asks: "Are you crazy AND naive?" Harvey asks: "Why couldn't it work? I mean, as long as Master Coelaceanth is inside Aang's body, your team is basically MINUS one contestant anyways! And let's not forget; even if Aang IS a good athlete, you WILL have to think about the Team Merge eventually! He WAS helpful; but after the team merge, he'd be a threat to ALL of us!" Taotie says: "And I'm surprised that I can't argue with that!" Gonard says: "Besides, we have a golden opportunity to do it! Aang already PLAYED the Immunity Pendant last time! He can't get another one until AFTER this challenge!" Haggis says: "Than I say we do it! Who's WITH me?!" But nobody raises their hands! Haggis asks: "What? No enthusiasm?" Sway-Sway says: "Look, we really LIKE your good plan, it's a GREAT plan, and we like everything about your plan, except for one thing!" Haggis asks: "Well, what would THAT be?" Buhdeuce says: "You're TOO old to pull it off!" Haggis says: "Are you CRAZY?! Blonda is MILLIONS of times older than I am!" Bubble Bass says: "Technically, yes. But the difference is, is that she DOESN'T look it, and STILL has the skills to back up her looks!" Zarbon says: "Bottom line is, you may HAVE the ambition, but you LACK the stamina! You can't catch up! You should save your strength for something you can ACTUALLY do, and LEAVE getting rid of Aang to me!" Haggis asks: "And what makes you think that SO you're capable?" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "DUH! He's ZARBON! And while his strength CAN'T hold a candle to the likes of Cell or the Androids, he's probably a LOT stronger than most normal humans could ever be! Statistically speaking, Zarbon's our best shot!" Haggis says: "Well, would YOU have come up with that idea if I hadn't FIRST?!" Fee says: "What difference does it make, whoever does the idea? Point is, you do the idea!" Dudley says: "Tell you what; Chameleon and I can give you a hug as a consolation prize!" Haggis says: "The only consolation prize I want is the breakfast buffet!" Chameleon asks: "THAN the hug?" Haggis says: "Don't hold your breath!" And Haggis walks out of his trailer, and SLAMS the door shut! Yakety says: "Don't tell anybody, but I'm totally NOT going to hold my breath!" Squidward says: "Nobody was expecting you to! And Bulma?" Bulma asks: "What do YOU want?" Squidward says: "I need to discuss a matter with you in PRIVATE!" Bulma says: "Sure, I'll discuss whatever you want! There's only ONE catch though!" Squidward says: "I KNEW it was too good to be true!" Bulma says: "It's not LIKE that! It's no big deal! Sometime during this season, I'll ask you for a favor, and you just do it. No questions asked! What do you say?" Zarbon says: "Don't GO for it, Squidward! Bulma has a HABIT of BETRAYING whoever HELPS her the most!" Bulma says: "HAD a habit, HAD!" Squidward says: "Okay, than! Now, let's go discuss that matter!" Bulma says: "Just remember; a favor now, for a favor later!" (Confessional) Bulma and Squidward are together. Squidward says: "I guess the trouble all started when I was three. My father would tell me that I was NEVER to associate with sponges or become friends with them, because sponges were the EPITOME of stupidity and usefulness! And one day, I saw a very young Spongebob running around! I didn't even know his name, but I was fascinated on how he could take the simplest things, like blowing bubbles, and make them fun. That originally inspired my decision to do art, and create masterpieces! I created many different mediums of art revolving around that sponge! I was going to show it to him and officially introduce myself..." Bulma asks: "Than, what happened?" Squidward says: "I CAN'T remember!" Bulma asks: "Can't, or won't?" Squidward says: "CAN'T! If I DID, do you think I would NEED to talk to you right now?" Bulma says: "Well, what's the first thing you DO remember after that?" Squidward says: "I woke up, and looked to see my room, full of ruined masterpieces, all shattered to pieces, and I resolved to myself that I would NEVER become friends with a sponge, and have my masterpieces ruined again!" Bulma says: "Well, who do YOU think broke them?" Squidward gasps, and he says: "You don't think?!" Bulma says: "I'm afraid I do! I hate to say it, but your father must have seen your artwork, read you the RIOT act, and basically went King Triton on DESTROYING all of your artwork!" Squidward sighs in realization, and he says: "So THAT'S the real reason I've irrationally been hating Spongebob." Bulma says: "Sure! You TRIED to forget what your father DID to your artworks ALL these years, and because you couldn't take out your anger on your father, you took it out on the guy YOUR father irrationally hated, Spongebob!" Squidward says: "And to think, I've spent ALL this wasted time, hating the WRONG guy!" Bulma says: "Nothing is wasted time, if you can LEARN from it!" Squidward says: "Spongebob wants to be friends with me, but I'm not sure if I can. It would go against EVERYTHING I've said to him in the past 26 years!" Bulma says: "So what if it DOES? The only thing that is CONSISTENT about people, or octopus', in your case, is that they are FREE to change their mind; constantly, if they so choose! If I weren't free to change MY mind, I'd STILL be a petty, vain, stuck-up girl with no empathy for others!" Squidward says: "So, if I'm free to change my mind, does that mean that I should give being friends with Spongebob another shot?" Bulma says: "I wouldn't!" Squidward asks: "But why?" Bulma yells: "HELLO! As long as he is STILL a contestant on this show, he is STILL ultimately your enemy! He's OBVIOUSLY thinking about the Final Five right now!" / Spongebob says: "You'll NEVER guess what I found in my SOCK last night! Go ahead, guess!" / Bulma says: "The bottom line is, Squidward, he will be bringing his A game to the table, so YOU have to do the same!" Squidward says: "But what if I have to compete WITH him in another challenge?" Bulma says: "Look! You'll just have to tell Spongebob, in NO uncertain terms, that you and he will never, EVER be ANYTHING resembling friends once this game show is over! You'll be doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" Squidward asks: "How do you figure that?" Bulma says: "It's called, 'Be Cruel To Be Kind'. It's the secret of MY success!" / Zarbon says: "Frankly, I don't know WHAT kind of game Bulma is trying to play, and I don't care! Just so long as she is NOT doing it with me!" / Bulma is alone, and she says: "I HAD to say what I said to Squidward! HELLO! If Squidward actually became FRIENDS with Spongebob, it would jepordize MY chances of being able to get Squidward to do what I WANT him to do! Now that the S.S. Aang has set sail, mingling, and making an alliance with contestants who have never PERSONALLY interacted with me is my best option! I've already GOT Squidward! I just need to make sure that I've got Sandy, Gerald, Fee, Jenny, Bubble Bass, and Yakety Yak in my back pocket, and I'll be to the Final Five quicker than you can say 'Easy Street'. Like Tigress, it's not the money I'm after, it's to prove a point that I can do BETTER playing a legitimate game, than I EVER did trying to cheat my way to the top!" / Squidward is alone, and he says: "Even though I know WHAT the reason for my hatred is, I STILL don't know what to do in regards to Spongebob!" / Harvey says: "It must be HARD being Haggis! People are starting to listen to MY ideas, but they seem to no longer be listening to HIS! I guess what I'm feeling, is what the other contestants would call, 'Empathy'. It's kind of WEIRD to feel something you've never felt before!" / Gonard says: "Haggis may have knowledge, but when it comes to stamina, he ranks at the bottom of the barrel! As long as his knowledge outweighs his lack of stamina, we'll keep him around. But, there may come a time where Haggis just MIGHT have to be eliminated. It's nothing personal, it's just the way the game has to be played!" / Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to defend Blonda! HELLO! She's my WIFE! And NOBODY makes wise-cracks about my WIFE'S technical age! I certainly don't!" / Chameleon says: "I don't know WHY Haggis would turn down a free hug from me and Dudley! Our hugs are among some of the best things in the whole world; right up there to breakfast buffets and rainbows!" / Haggis says: "While I've heard wise-cracks about my age for quite some time now, saying that I lack the stamina to pull off a plan is going TOO far! Why is it that the moment you HIT 60, people just STOP taking you seriously?! Under the right conditions, certain people can live for ANOTHER 60 years! And I'm not about to let THEM dictate when I'm finished! I'LL decide when I'M finished!" (End Confessional) After the lengthy confessionals, a gong is rung, and over the loud-speakers, Sniz announces: "Attention Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas, Kaput and Johnny Krill have been eliminated at the last Elimination Ceremony! Please come to the Moat to hear about our next challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "WOW! I never thought Johnny Krill would get eliminated THIS early! I'm sure Squidward's just as nervous as I am!" Treeflower says: "Personally, I don't know WHAT Squidward is feeling right now; all I know is, are you going to MAKE Squidward freak out AGAIN?!" Spongebob gets defensive, and he says: "HEY! I have NEVER intentionally made anybody FREAK out! Squidward is in charge of his OWN emotions, just in the same way that I'm in charge of my OWN emotions!" Darwin asks: "Are you SURE about that?" Spongebob asks: "Why do you ask?" Stimpy honestly says: "Well, you DO tend to CRY at the drop of a hat." Spongebob says: "Only if the hat is REALLY expensive, or my Krusty Krab Hat! The point is, I can keep my emotions under control!" Marlene says: "All right, we'll take your word for it. Just remember, we've only been through TWO challenges so far. We have a LONG way to go, yet!" Spongebob says: "Don't worry about me, I've got the stuff! It's Monster I'm worried about?" Monster says: "Why would you SAY that?!" Dog says: "Well, you haven't exactly MADE much of an impression!" Monster says: "Well, that's because you're NOT making any USE of my skills!" Wally says: "Well, it WOULD help us to know what you can bring to the table!" Monster says: "Well, I AM super-strong!" Keswick says: "So is Super Chum!" Super Chum says: "It's true! In fact, I actually have to hold MY strength back, lest I accidentally BREAK something!" Monster says: "I have horns!" Heffer says: "I do, to! Mostly because, I AM a steer!" Monster struggles, and he says: "I'm purple!" Otto sarcastically says: "Congratulations, Monster! The minute that BEING purple becomes USEFUL in winning a challenge, please let ME know so that I can plan a ticker-tape parade!" Buhduece says: "UGH! Just IGNORE that idiot! I'm sure you can put your skills to use for SOMETHING!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Since I can't see inside of Spongebob's mind, I'll simply have to take him at face value, when he says that he is not intentionally making Squidward freak out. All I know is, I know ALL of Spongebob's POSSIBLE antics! There is no way that HE is going to catch ME off guard!" / Stimpy says: "I can totally emphasize with crying. I cry with the knowledge that even someone as good as me, couldn't heal Ren of all the emotional trauma he must have had in his life. The only consolation I have, is knowing that NOBODY tried as hard to heal Ren as I did!" / Marlene says: "Honestly, I was more trying to talk to MYSELF than I was trying to talk to Spongebob! I mean, I have NEVER been forced to be on my own THIS early in a season of competition! I'm in uncharted waters! So, until further notice, I'll NEED every single member of my team to be on their A game as much as possible! And if there's a weak link, we'll have to get rid of it! I just sure hope it isn't Spongebob, that's the LAST guy that I want to vote off this season!" / Super Chum says: "It's not enough to have Super Strength, you also need to have a required Secondary Power; the ability to CONTROL your Super Strength!" / Otto says: "The first time I competed, I was really unique in terms of skills, athletics, and prowess. But with all these NEW contestants on the scene, it makes me realize that I need to stay current as to what will be expected of me as a contestant! I may only be human, but if REGGIE can win a season, I can to! I just have to keep my eyes on the prize!" / Buhdeuce says: "Somebody had to support Monster. And if I didn't, who would?!" / Monster says: "My team is DEPENDING on me to prove that I can be useful to them! Now, it's up to ME to prove that I have the skills to back up my words! I have to prove that I have as much of a right to be on this season as they do!" (End Confessional) The contestants put on their team colors, and make their way to the Moat! Sniz says: "Welcome, contestants, to a brand new challenge! Although, that IS kind of redundant to say, since ANY challenge you face this season will PROBABLY be a new one for you! Still, this is one that will REALLY be, 'Hands on' if you know what I mean!" Sandy says: "Not really!" Sniz says: "Well, Olmec can TELL us why today's challenge will be 'Hands on', when he tells us about today's legend!" Olmec says: "Today's legend, is The Legend Of The Lost Arms Of Venus De Milo!" Sniz says: "Thank you Olmec! You four teams will have to battle it out! And in the end, only two of you will be able to have a chance to retrieve the Lost Arms Of Venus De Milo! But first, you have to get across the Moat! Here is how the Moat will work this time! In Ancient Greek times, when the Venus De Milo was first built, they would travel on water, by using oar paddle in a boat! Today, you will be doing the same! In groups of five, THAN four, each team must time their strokes carefully, to get across the Moat! Once one group is across the Moat, send your boat back on the rope pulley system, and the next group will get to go across. Just like the last time, your positions will be determined based on where you finish your journey across the moat!" Aang says: "And WE all know who will be finishing FIRST today, DON'T we, Tigress?! Don't tell me, I'm too modest!" And Tigress looks disgusted! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Did I REALLY sound THAT conceited and STUCK-UP when I was FULL of myself?! Why didn't anybody TELL me that I was sounding SO stupid?!" Than it hits her, and she face-palms herself, as she says: "Because somebody DID tell me, and I was STILL too conceited and stuck-up to hear it! TYPICAL!" / Aang chuckles, and in his own voice, he says: "Payback is a female dog, ISN'T it, Tigress?!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Green Monkeys, you will have to sit out two members, and for the other teams except for the Silver Snakes, you will have to sit out one member." Stimpy says: "I'll sit this one out. The water is reminding me of how much I miss...Lil!" Spongebob says: "And I'll sit this one out, so I can CHEER Squidward!" Squidward, without any emotion says: "Thank you, Spongebob." Bulma asks Squidward: "THIS is HOW you break the HARD truth to him?!" Squidward says: "You gotta pick your battles, Bulma!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Too bad Squidward NEVER picks ANY!" / Stimpy says: "Why am I still thinking about Ren?! He's the LAST guy I should be thinking about! I told myself that when he went to jail, that was the END of his importance to my life, so why does my mind keep thinking about him?! I guess that song by Chicago got it right, Ren; you're a hard habit to break!" / Spongebob says: "I think Squidward's making PROGRESS! He didn't IGNORE me this time!" (End Confessional) Jenny says: "I'll sit this one out! I can't go for a walk without rusting in the rain, let alone, SWIM in it!" Fee says: "And I'll sit this one out to! I just got myself a perm, and I DON'T want to get it wet!" (Confessional) Fee says: "Any aspiring future model, must always make sure to take great pride in keeping their hair maintained to the best of their ability! It may be hard work, but it's always worth it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, and Snaptrap, you'll make up the first group for the Silver Snakes! Treeflower, Darwin, Marlene, Dog, and Keswick, you'll make up the first group for the Green Monkeys! Otto, Sandy, Judy, Gerald, and Pearl, you'll make up the first group for the Red Jaguars! Sway-Sway, Harvey, Gonard, Dudley, and Squidward, you'll make up the first group for the Blue Barracudas! Everyone else except for the contestants who are sitting out, will make up the next group! On your mark, get set, go!" And the Silver Snakes START off impressive, as Haggis grits and says: "I'm going to show you that I STILL have STAMINA, and I'm NOT going to throw in the towel YET!" Zim says: "That's GREAT! So can you get..." Haggis says: "A life-time of experience is MORE important than cheap stamina ANY DAY!" Kitty says: "In acting, SURE! But we're not..." Haggis says: "The thing about GAINING experience, is that you learn by..." Snaptrap yells: "Would you LISTEN to US?!" Haggis says: "A traitor like YOU? NEVER!" Daggett asks: "Than would you listen to me?!" Haggis says: "Of course! By the way, can you tell me if we've won yet?" Than the camera pans out to reveal that they haven't MADE much progress at all, while the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars have already GOTTEN across, and are sending their row-boats back! Daggett says: "No, but we HAVE made it a WHOLE four feet from where we STARTED!" Haggis asks: "How can THAT be?! I've been paddling as HARD as I CAN!" Aang screams: "You're doing it WRONG!!!! You've got to dig in DEEP!!!!" Haggis gets fed up, and he shouts: "Listen, you little punk! I don't know how YOU were raised, but it's NOT becoming for a guy who CLAIMS to be a hero like you!" Zim says: "Haggis, this REALLY isn't the time for..." Haggis says: "I am SICK and tired of every YOUNG punk who comes along to Hollywood who thinks they know EVERYTHING!" Kitty asks: "Could you spare the speech for...?" Haggis says: "When I was YOUNG, people RESPECTED their elders, and I EXPECT the same!" Snaptrap says: "I'd respect you MORE if you..." Haggis says: "ELIMINATED you?! Don't think I WON'T the way YOU'RE behaving!" Daggett says: "Well, the way YOU'RE behaving is COSTING us the RACE!" Haggis asks: "WHAT?!" And he turns around to see the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys finish first! Sniz says: "And it's over! The Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys will be working together yet AGAIN! Blue Barracudas and Silver Snakes, let us ALL hope that you are able to work a LOT better THIS time, than you did LAST time!" Aang yells: "You BETTER deliver! I will NOT allow OUR team to lose a THIRD time!" Haggis says: "First time for everything! Just remember, there is NO Immunity Pendant for you THIS time!" Aang chuckles, and he says: "At the rate of YOUR stamina, I don't think I'll even NEED it!" And Haggis gulps nervously! (Confessional) Haggis looks at his worn hands, and he says: "Has my stamina really degraded THAT much?! Have I really lost so much pep and vigor? I thought that as long as I could move, that would be enough! But now, I'm not so sure! If I can't even help row ONE row-boat across a moat, what good can I possibly be in a challenge?" / Daggett says: "I guess what the Rolling Stones song said is true; what a DRAG it is getting old!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, everyone! Take five and dry up! Because when we come back, we're get ready for the Steps of Knowledge, and today's challenge, on Total Cartoon Legends! Don't touch that dial, if you STILL have one!" / (Commercial Break) / I'll break here and stop for now. Enough said, for now!
  12. I'm not quite ready to begin writing a new episode of "Total Cartoon Legends" just yet, so, I'll let you enjoy a re-run of the most recent episode of "Total Cartoon Legends" that I just completed! Enjoy! / Sniz is standing on the Steps Of Knowledge, and he says: "Last time, on Total Cartoon Legends, 42 contestants from various different season/s of our show, met up with each other, and our two new-comers, Squidward Tentacles, and Yakety Yak! Squidward made sure NOBODY, with the possible EXCEPTION of Spongebob, KNEW where Squidward stood, in terms of how he viewed Spongebob! Hot-headed Tigress, on the other hand, managed to keep her grudge MOSTLY to herself! Deciding that it would be FAR better for her to win immunity WITH Spongebob, than causing both HIM and her to lose together, Tigress decided to forego eliminating Spongebob. Meanwhile, the Silver Snakes absolutely could NOT work together, and the ideas of Kowalski and Private, only made things worse. In the end, the Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars prevailed, while the Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas, LITERALLY, decided to give Kowalski and Private, the MINE Shaft! Now there are 42 contestants left, and we will soon see just what SIDES of our contestants that they will make public, and the ones that they will try to keep private!" Olmec says: "It is LITERALLY a page-turning adventure!" Sniz says: "That's right, Olmec, and our story opens up on a brand new challenge, and a brand new episode, for Total Cartoon Legends!" / Instead of the normal show open, it shows the previous villainous exploits of Aang, Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, Blonda, Taotie, Zarbon, Bulma and Squidward, while The Who hit song "Behind Blue Eyes" plays over the montage. / Pete Townshend sings: "No one knows what it's like to be the bad man. To be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated. To be fated, to telling only lies. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings like I do. And I blame you. No one bites back as hard on their anger. None of my pain and woe can show through. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. When my fist clenches, crack it open; before I use it and lose my cool. When I smile, tell me some bad news, before I laugh and act like a fool. And if I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat. And if I shiver, please give me a blanket. Keep me warm, let me wear your coat. No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man. To be the sad man, behind blue eyes." / And the song and montage ends. / "The Legend Of The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". / In the luxury hotel room suites, the Red Jaguars and the Green Monkeys are still sleeping peacefully. All, oddly ENOUGH, except for Tigress, who seems to be experiencing a VERY troubling dream! Thanks to the magic of the Fairy Godparents, we get to SEE what it is! In the dream, it is raining heavily, and lightning keeps striking down on the Earth every few seconds! A disembodied voice says: "You ate me..." Tigress says: "No! It can't be!" The voice grows louder, and it says: "You ate me..." Tigress says: "It's NOT possible! It COULDN'T be HIM!!!!" And the voice yells: "YOU ATE ME!!!!" And a GIGANTIC version of Master Coelaceanth rises out of the ground! Tigress says: "You CAN'T be real! I finished you off! You HAVE no body!" Master Coelaceanth shrinks down to normal size, and says: "That's the PROBLEM, isn't it, Tigress? I HAVE no body, and it's ALL your fault! If you hadn't have eaten me, I wouldn't be STUCK here right now!" Tigress says: "Stuck where?!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Isn't it obvious? Inside of YOUR body. Yes, you DID destroy MY body, which was VERY painful to feel being DIGESTED despite the fact that I was undead! And yet, my soul STILL remains stuck inside of YOU! You may have destroyed my body, but I cannot REST in peace, and it's ALL your fault!" Tigress defiantly says: "So what do YOU want out of ME?! I don't owe you ANYTHING!" Master Coealceanth chuckles menacingly, and says: "Oh, yes, you DO! What if I told you, I could take away the ONE thing YOU care about the most! The...'Love', that Po seems to HAVE for you! You are a STRONG spirit, but even YOU can't keep up your GUARD 24/7! The moment you show a sign of WEAKNESS, your BODY, will be MINE!" Tigress says: "You LIE! Master Coealaceanth!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Am I? Perhaps you'd like a refresher course from General Barracuda! I'm SURE he still regrets the feelings I made him FEEL when I KILLED Ambrosia, and made him feel like it was ALL HIS FAULT!!!! Why, what would Master Shifu THINK, if he thought that YOU, KILLED the DRAGON WARRIOR?!" Tigress says: "I wouldn't let you! This is MY mind, and I want you OUT!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Think about it! Where could I possibly go? Even if by SOME miracle, you DID oust me out, my spirit could simply find another, more WILLING vessel to share! Suppose I take up residence in PO himself?! There is NOTHING more satisfying, than...ALWAYS hurting the ONE you LOVE!!!!" Tigess says: "NO!!!! I would do ANYTHING for love, but I won't do THAT!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Than what ARE you willing to do, Tigress? You WANT to be rid of me, and I certainly don't want to be STUCK inside of YOU, and it's not because you're a woman!" Tigress says: "What is it, than?!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you ARE constantly surly, AND the pizza you ate last night was COLD!" Tigress says: "Well, all I want to know is, what do YOU want?! I want to know EXACTLY what you're up to before I make a decision about anything!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I want to UTTERLY humiliate and BREAK Spongebob Squarepants' SPIRIT! The world WILL learn to fear the name of Master Coelaceanth again! And honestly, I need your help!" Tigress says: "And what if I refuse?! What THAN?!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Do you WANT to go BACK to being the FRIGHTENED little girl who could NEVER fight back against HER father or beat him at ANYTHING?! The one who ALWAYS came in LAST, like AANG?!" And Master Coelaceanth SNAPS his fin fingers, and opens a magical window into the real where Aang is sleeping, and Master Coelaceanth DUMPS him into the trash, even from WITHIN Tigress' own mind, as a demonstration of the power he STILL has! Tigress gasps in horror, and she says: "Well, NO!!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "I KNEW you'd help me! Now, let's make one thing clear; as long as you cooperate with me, I will let you have CONTROL of your own body and you can compete however you'd like! BUT; if you as so much try to speak, write, or communicate in ANY way that I am inside of your body...well, let's just say if that YOU think just having ME inside of you is BAD, imagine how much WORSE it would be if I took full control!" Tigress says: "Fine! So let's eliminate Spongebob so you can be DONE with this!" Master Coelaceanth screams: "I can't DO THAT!!!! That MISERABLE sponge?! He MUST suffer! My species has managed to dominate for 65 million years LONGER than HIS ever have, and I will not let that EMBARRASSMENT of a species, make a MOCKERY of me! If WE want to eliminate the sponge, we must FIRST go through the PAWNS! We'll make Spongebob SQUIRM by voting off ANY contestant that could help him stand up to me ONE by ONE! And we will START with Kaput and Johnny Krill!" Tigress asks: "Why those two?" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, for starters, they are the MOST unstable and unpredictable elements in this entire season! We can't afford to deal with such random elements THIS season! Therefore, you will make SURE to get THOSE two eliminated at your EARLIEST convenience!" Tigress says: "I'll help you ONLY under ONE condition; you have to UTTERLY promise, no matter how much you are tempted to, you and I can NEVER harm Po!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Does he REALLY mean that much to you?" Tigress says: "He's not just my boyfriend, he's my BEST friend...and by the end of THIS season, he may be the ONLY one I've GOT! And if YOU ever harm Po, I DON'T care what it TAKES, I will find a way to DESTROY you FOREVER!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Fine! What is that nonsense you always say? 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a pizza in my mouth'?" Tigress says: "Close enough!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, I CAN'T cross my heart; unless I cross yours, and I can't hope to die, I've already DONE that! But, I promise that I will NEVER harm Po...EVER!" Tigress says: "Fine! Than we have a deal!" / The dream ends, and Tigress wakes up! Po is right next to her, and he asks: "Tigress, what's wrong?" Tigress, remembering what Master Coelaceanth said, and deciding NOT to risk it, shakes her head, and she says: "Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Just, probably some indigestion from the pizza I ate!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Am I worried about what a slippery slope this is?! I just LIED to Po! Granted, I did it to protect him, but of COURSE I'm worried about this! And I wonder, how all the OTHER contestants would fare, if THEY had to deal with this?! I'm not sure any of them would have the fortitude! But as long as I can keep control of the situation, I can STILL be in control! I'm NOT giving up without a FIGHT!" (End Confessional) Meanwhile, in the trailers that the Blue Barracudas and the Silver Snakes are forced to share, Aang has called all the remaining contestants over for a meeting. Aang says: "Okay, show of hands, who wanted to MESS up the LAST challenge?!" And everyone is taken aback by this! Aang says: "Really? No volunteers? Than maybe I should volunteer a random STRANGER!!!!" Daggett says: "Why are you talking like that?" Haggis says: "Blame Tigress! Ever since SHE reminded Aang of all his failures, WE are now STUCK with General McNUT job again!" Aang says: "NUTS?! I'll tell YOU, 'Nuts'! SOME of us in the Silver Snakes, are some of the most DIABOLICAL masterminds of the ENTIRE Nicktoon Universe, so how in the actual HELL could we POSSIBLY LOSE to SUCH NIMRODS?!!!" Bulma says: "Just FYI, STILL a totally AVAILABLE beauty of a GENIUS, who could HELP with such problems!" Aang says: "A GENIUS, you say?! You've just GOT yourself my interest!" (Confessional) Aang laughs, and he says: "I don't know where SHE comes from; but in MY experience, you NEVER openly advertise your talents, unless you're Orlando Bloom! But it's like she's ASKING for somebody to EXPLOIT her! Of course, I'm perfectly willing to DO that! And if her plans fail, I'll dump her! No skin off of my nose!" / Bulma scoffs, and she says: "Of COURSE I know that Aang is TRYING to play me! I'm LETTING him think that he IS playing me! Besides, it's not like I have much better options on the table! Aang is one of the FEW contestants who didn't personally witness what I did in season three, so he is a blank slate, totally susceptible to MY ideas! I'm not saying that I'm GOING to eliminate him, I would rather prefer it if he could be useful! But if push comes to shove, I WILL vote him off! I just hope it comes LATER, rather than sooner!" (End Confessional) Bulma says: "Here's how it will work, Aang. As soon as I know what the challenge is, I will come up with a FOOL-Proof plan that's SO complete, not even TAOTIE can BLOW it!" Taotie says: "What's THAT supposed to mean?! I'm playing with a FULL deck of cards this time! Besides, you happen to be forgetting the BIGGEST problem on why we lost last time, we simply didn't WORK together!" Kitty says: "Oh! So now the guy who BACKSTABS me in season three wants to WORK together? Good luck with THAT!" Taotie says: "In MY defense, by the point I eliminated you out of the game, you were already BECOMING a liability by NOT getting rid of your irrational hatred of Chameleon! We just decided to cut our losses sooner, rather than later! Look, if you can PROMISE not to irrationally hate another contestant, maybe WE can promise not to UNFAIRLY vote you off so early!" Kitty rolls her eyes, and says: "Fine! I promise! I just hope that YOU will keep YOUR end of the deal!" Taotie laughs and he says: "Just ask Harvey Beaks! I ALWAYS honor MY deals; EXACT words!" Harvey says: "To be fair, he's NOT wrong! He WILL honor a deal, EXACT words!" (Confessional) Kitty says: "Did I WANT to make a promise to Taotie? Of COURSE not! But, I'm also NOT willing to be eliminated BEFORE the first Performance Review of a season, AGAIN! So, if I have to swallow my pride, and not irrationally hate someone, I can do that! Just so long as it gets me one step closer to the Final Five!" / Taotie says: "Look, I'm not at all proud of the sabotaging I USED to do when I was a villain, I feel somewhat filthy about it, to be honest. I gave warthogs like myself a bad name. At least now, I can put my genius to good use! If I can help us to WORK together, it would totally SHOW Tigress just how much SMARTER I can be, when I use my brain RATIONALLY!" / Harvey Beaks says: "Reformed? Maybe. But there's no way that I could believe that he's TAMED! Kitty can trust Taotie if SHE wants to! I'm staying away as FAR as possible! There's no way I'm getting burned by the same guy TWICE!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Contestants, we're ALL forgetting the MAJOR reason we lost LAST time!" Bubble Bass groans and sarcastically says: "Oh, it must be Spongebob." Squidward says: "It's ALWAYS SPONGEBOB!!!! If he WASN'T there to form the top of the pyramid, THEY would have LOST!" Invader Zim asks: "Would you rather have such LOSERS like Kowalski and Private still within our RANKS?!" Kaput says: "And HE'S supposed to be the CRAZY alien!" Zim says: "At LEAST I'm not a saboteur like you!" Kaput says: "Get SERIOUS! You WISH you were as GOOD at invasions as I am!" Zim says: "At least I actually GOT a come-back movie! Where's YOURS?!" Snaptrap says: "OOH, BURN!!!!" Kaput says: "Like I'm worried! I out-lasted Zim LAST time, I can do it AGAIN! No contest!" Blonda says: "And THIS is where he tempts fate!" Gonard says: "You KNOW about that?!" Blonda says: "I practically wrote the BOOK on that!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I don't know WHY they can't see it! We get RID of Spongebob, we win ALL the rest of the challenges, and I win the season finale! It's a win-win...except for Spongebob, but I don't care!" / Sway-Sway says: "I'm not sure if Squidward realizes this, but for someone who SAYS they don't CARE about Spongebob, Squidward SURE seems fixated on spending a LOT of time thinking about Spongebob!" Buhdeuce says: "I haven't seen a guy be AS fixated on ANOTHER guy, as much as T. Midi fixates on our bread deliveries!" Sway-Sway says: "You said it, Buhdeuce!" / Bubble Bass groans, and he says: "I'm SERIOUSLY thinking about RESIGNING from Squidward's 'We Hate Spongebob' Group! I mean, I only JOINED for the Free Food, anyways!" / Kaput says: "If Zim WANTS sabotage, I'll give HIM sabotage, and I will make it be ALL his fault! He will see that when you MESS with the MASTER, you will ALWAYS get BURNED!" / Zim says: "The way I see it, it's a Win-Win situation. If we win, Kaput's plan to sabotage us will FAIL, and he will look SO bad, the rest of us will vote him off the NEXT time we lose! If we lose, I'll make sure HE gets all the blame and gets voted off! Kaput will find out the HARD way, that there IS such a thing as BAD publicity!" / Blonda says: "I have seen EVERY single Chuck Jones and Rudy Larriva 'Wily E. Coyote' cartoon at least once, and I know for a fact that no matter how HARD Wily E. Coyote tries, he NEVER gets to eat the Road Runner! Mostly because that would END the series, but that's besides the point! The point is, if Kaput is tempting fate, is SO asking for trouble!" / Gonard says: "So Blonda's a book writer? Huh! Who knew?!" (End Confessional) Suddenly, everyone hears a Gong ring! Over the loud-speakers, Sniz says: "Attention Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, Kowalski and Private were eliminated during the last Elimination Challenge! Also, please come to the Moat to hear about today's Legendary challenge! That is all!" Spongebob says: "So, are they starting to ANNOUNCE who got eliminated before we physically find out? I have to wonder, why would they do that?" Treeflower physically shivers, and she says: "I'll tell you WHY; it's to put FEAR into all of us! Kowalski and Private BOTH made it to the Final Five LAST time, and they were STILL the first two voted off THIS time! Do you have ANY idea what THAT means?" Stimpy says: "I do, but I'll still let YOU tell everybody!" Treeflower says: "It means that potentially ANYONE could be eliminated at any given time, no matter HOW good you are! If we are going to keep everyone on this team safe, we will HAVE to play at the top of our game, no matter what!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Going into this, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride, but I certainly never thought that two heavy hitters would be eliminated right off the bat! And while I'm pretty confidant about my own skills, I've got the whole REST of my team that I have to concern myself with! Even though we're SUPPOSEDLY the ones with the MOST brains, there's STILL only ONE team of us, and three other teams to contend with! And since we have no team merge anywhere NEAR on the horizon, everybody will have to stay out the same pace! Otherwise, we'll HAVE to vote them off, no matter WHO they might be! Personally, I hope I do well enough to AVOID having such a distinction!" / Stimpy says: "In previous seasons, I NEVER had to worry about being by myself! I ALWAYS had Ren and/or Lil to watch my back and help me! But now that Ren's in jail, and Lil has to watch our kids...I...miss...having...someone...to...help me." / Spongebob says: "Personally, I can't say that I'll MISS Kowalski and Private; MOSTLY because Skipper went out of his WAY to get ME eliminated in season three, he OUTRIGHT sold me out to save his OWN skin! I mean, who DOES that?! I don't like to say this, but I'm actually GLAD that they are gone! At least I don't have to worry about getting back-stabbed by a traitorous bird, AGAIN!" (End Confessional) The contestants suit up in their team colors, and head for the moat! Sniz says: "Welcome, to the second challenge of this half-season! Once again, we have the Red Jaguars! The Green Monkeys! The Blue Barracudas! And the Silver Snakes! You will have to go through three challenges! And in the end, only two contestants can brave the Temple! But first, Olmec will tell us what today's legend will be!" Olmec says: "Today's legend is, the Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!" Sniz says: "And no, folks, that was NOT a typo, there really ISN'T a 'The', before the rest of the title of the book! That's pretty, STRANGE by itself, isn't it?!" General Barracuda rolls his eyes, and says: "I've heard BETTER jokes from some of the DARKEST Marvel movies!" Sniz asks: "What do YOU have to complain about? You're getting paid, you have your daughter, one of your son's, and your Daughter-In-Law competing! Statistically speaking, your family has a 1 in 14 chance of winning!" Otto asks: "Winning what exactly?!" Sniz says: "I KNEW I was forgetting to tell you something the LAST time you competed! Yes, there IS a grand prize at the end of the season! With 44 contestants total, we're offering ANOTHER $44.44 million as the grand prize!" Gerald asks: "Will there be other prizes as well?" Sniz says: "Sure! Second place will take $42 million, third place will take $41 million, and fourth place will take $40 million!" Otto says: "Pretty fair prizes, if I do say so myself!" Sniz says: "Now, here's how today's moat challenge is going to work! Since this story takes place in 19th century London, England, the Moat will be filled, with a thick London fog. To get through the fog, one contestant will row with a lantern across the moat, to get to the other side. They must send the lantern back to another contestant before they can cross! The order the teams cross, will determine which order they get to answer the questions on the Steps of Knowledge!" Sandy says: "I thought the last two FINISHING teams were supposed to be eliminated!" Sniz says: "In the original Legends of The Hidden Temple, sure! But, we only have FOUR teams this time, so we had to modify it a little bit! And remember, you have NO idea which team you'll be getting paired up with today! So prepare for ANYTHING, and be sure to have FUN with it! Red Jaguars, and Green Monkeys, since you both have 1 more contestant than the other teams, you will have to sit someone out." Unexpectedly, Tigress steps first and says: "Uh, I'm still feeling a little queasy over the pizza I ate last night. I'd better sit this one out." Pearl asks: "Tigress, what are you SAYING?! You NEVER miss a chance to compete!" Heard in her mind and by the television audience, but NOT by any of the contestants, Master Coelaceanth says: "She's RIGHT, you know! Is THIS how you PLAN on making any headway towards eliminating WORTHLESS losers?!" Out loud, Tigress says: "I'm merely saving my strength for later, when it will be more useful!" (Confessional) Pearl says: "Something is OFF, and I can feel it! The other day, Tigress was absolutely CHOMPING at the bits to compete! She's NEVER turned down a chance to compete before! Either way, something smells FISHY around here, and I don't mean my half-brother, Bubble Bass!" / Tigress says: "Of course the pizza isn't bothering me! I just need to be able to come up with a plan that's all my OWN, and DOESN'T involve ANYONE else; and it's very hard to do that when you have to focus on a challenge!" / Gerald says: "$44.44 million? Can you imagine the kind of swag I could buy with that?!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys huddle together, and Keswick says: "I'll sit out this part of the challenge." Sniz says: "Very well. The two contestants for this part of the challenge will be chosen at random for each team. For the Red Jaguars, we'll have Otto, and Johnny Krill! For the Green Monkeys, we'll have Marlene, and Stimpy! For the Blue Barracudas, we'll have Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! And for the Silver Snakes, we'll have Aang and Kaput!" Kaput says: "Yes! Vindication is MINE!" Blonda asks: "But what ARE you vindicating? That's the question that I would like to have answered!" Kaput says: "I hope you don't expect me to dignify that with an actual response!" Super Chum says: "Of COURSE she wouldn't! That would IMPLY that you HAVE something that even REMOTELY resembles as being DIGNIFYING!" Darwin says: "Ooh, BURN!!!!" Kaput asks: "Why are YOU here again?!" Super Chum says: "I finished up my work in Antarctica! With the prize money, I figure I could use it to help clean up the various garbage patches that are in the ocean, and restore some coral reefs!" Kaput asks: "Do you EVER get tired of being such a goody-goody do-gooder?!" Wally says: "Maybe you ought to TRY it sometimes! It might help out your personality...what little of it there IS!" (Confessional) Wally says: "Oh, there's GOOD in Kaput SOMEWHERE! I'm SURE it exists! It probably just takes a while to travel from his head to his fist!" / Blonda says: "If someone is unable to answer me a valid question about themselves, that means they don't even know everything about themselves! And honestly, it's a little tragic, to be perfectly honest. Before I met Bubble Bass, I thought I knew everything there WAS to know about myself! But after meeting him, and having to endure nine months as a...fish, it made me re-evaluate my life, and it made me realize that there's a lot more to life than simply being a blonde beauty...I could become a character actress like Bette Davis did, for starters! I may have given up my immortality, but it will still be quite a while before I go anywhere! I've got a good 84 years ahead with Bubble Bass, and I intend to make the most of them!" / Super Chum says: "It isn't always easy, but the mark of a true superhero, is that they don't DO good things in order to get THEMSELVES attention, they do good things because they're the RIGHT thing to do! I mean, if the so-called Bad Guys from the animated movie of the same name can have a redemption arc; who's to say it couldn't happen to just about anybody?!" / Kaput says: "Nobody's ever called ME out about not being GOOD at anything, not even at being good! But how does one BECOME, 'Good'? That's a concept I've NEVER fully considered! I never thought I'd say this, but, I think I might have to consult some serious help!" (End Confessional) Kaput says: "Say, Daggett? How in the world did YOU ever become good?!" Daggett sputters, and he asks: "Are you NUTS?! That would imply that I was ever really BAD! So I got a little upset with Norbert and Daggett a couple of times during some Performance Reviews, so SUE me! I don't think that makes ME a BAD beaver! Why, when Norbert and Treeflower need SOMEONE to babysit their kids, they say I do a GREAT job of doing that! You want to ask someone on how to NOT be bad and be good, I suggest you ask Zarbon and Bulma! But ask them AFTER the Moat Challenge, so they're NOT distracted!" Kaput says: "Good call!" (Confessional) Daggett says: "I'm not saying that I've ALWAYS done the right thing! Do you know how GOOD you have to be to DO the right thing ALL the time?! You'd have to be like, the level of Mother Theresa Good in order to do that! But I'm certainly more moral than Zim and Kaput, that's for sure! And at the rate that THEY are acting, I'm sure to outlast THOSE two nutjobs!" / Kaput grabs out a notepad, and he writes on it, while saying: "Note to self; NEVER ask a deluded idiot for ADVICE! Ask someone with ACTUAL experience instead!" (End Confessional) Otto asks: "Johnny, I've never PERSONALLY seen you in action. How good are you at sports?" Johnny says: "You've come to the right, prawn, my man! Tigress may have SHEER muscle! But I've got speed and coolness! With coolness on my side, I will NEVER lose!" Otto says: "You remind me a LOT of Twister that way!" Johnny says: "Funny, Tigress said the same thing, before she became UNCOOL!" And Tigress just growls angrily! (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of anything else that happens, I might just HAVE to eliminate Johnny Krill PURELY on principle!" / Otto says: "I sure hope Johnny can back up his words with some actions! I'll NEED it for our team to dominate THIS challenge!" / Johnny says: "I know getting Tigress riled up probably isn't the WISEST move in the world! But after ALL the belittling and bereavement she put ME through during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, that girl DESERVES it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "It's time for our contestants to begin their journey across the moat!" Otto, Marlene, Sway-Sway, and Aang are all in their canoes, holding onto their oar with one hand, and holding the lantern on the suspended rope pulley system with another! Sniz says: "On your marks, get set, GO!" And Aang, and Otto, shoot off like a rocket, quickly powering their way across the moat with sheer speed, while Marlene and Sway-Sway have to STRUGGLE to catch up, as Aang and Otto are already sending their lanterns back across to their team-mates! Marlene and Sway-Sway finally make it across, and begin to send their lanterns back, but it's practically in vain, as Kaput and Johnny Krill BOTH make it across the Moat with their lanterns, before Stimpy and Buhdeuce can even get in the water! Sniz says: "And the first part of the contest is over! Since the Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes finished first, they will be teamed up together for THIS challenge!" Johnny Krill says: "So THAT'S how it's going to work? Very good to know!" Sniz says: "Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas, YOU will be paired up together for this challenge by default!" Spongebob says: "Isn't that GREAT, Squidward, we get to work together for a CHALLENGE!!!!" Squidward MERELY takes a lantern off of the pulley system, hands it to Bubble Bass, and Squidward says: "Do me a favor, and PLEASE hit me as hard as you can with this lantern!" Bubble Bass THROWS the lantern down and he says: "I am NOT going to do THAT! I don't know WHAT kind of problem you have with Spongebob Squarepants, but GET over it! If we're going to have ANY chance of WINNING this challenge, we will HAVE to get along together!" Squidward says: "How can I put this? I would rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than SPEND one more minute, with HIM! I'd rather get a 100,000 paper cuts on my face, than SPEND one more minute with HIM! I'd RATHER rip out my intestines with a fork, than hang out with THAT man! I'd rather slam my tentacles in a door, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! Can't you see what I'm TRYING to say Bubble Bass? I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches, shove an ice-pick under a toenail or TWO, I'd rather clean all the bathrooms at LAX with my TONGUE, than spend one more minute with him! I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumb-tacks, or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue! I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades, than spend one more minute with him! I'd rather rip my heart out of my rib cage with my bare tentacles, and than throw it on the floor and stomp on it UNTIL I die...than spend one more minute with HIM!!!!" Spongebob asks: "You DON'T want to spend time with me?!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "Of COURSE I don't want to spend TIME with you! What do you THINK I had JUST been quoting Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute' for?!" Spongebob sniffles, and he cries: "WAAH!!!!" Bubble Bass yells: "STOP DOING THAT!!!!" Squidward says: "Like YOU'RE so much better! You once gave Spongebob a Heroic BSOD when you made him think that he DIDN'T include the pickles that one time!" Bubble Bass says: "First off, I only DID that because the writers DEMANDED it! Second, I couldn't have anticipated Spongebob would GO into a Heroic BSOD! At least I never hurt his feelings like THAT again!" Squidward says: "I'll be SO glad when WE lose; that way, I can FINALLY vote off Spongebob and END this misery!" Bubble Bass asks: "Oh, is THAT so?!" Squidward says: "Yes, that's SO!" Bubble Bass gets a devious smile, and he says: "Have it YOUR way, Squidward, but just REMEMBER, I HAVE bubble powers, I can USE them any time I WANT, and even if THAT weren't a factor, I DID win Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, and if you DON'T straighten up your act and at LEAST be civil to Spongebob, I can tell EVERYONE to vote YOU off instead; and Spongebob will spend the rest of his life HATING you, thereby depriving you of the ONLY guy in the ENTIRE ocean, who STILL has a SMIDGE of RESPECT for you!" Squidward asks: "You'd STOP respecting me?!" Bubble Bass says: "You're already half-way there in MY books!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Let's see; PROS to keeping Spongebob on, Bubble Bass won't tell anyone to vote me off...and...that's ALL I can think of! CONS to keeping Spongebob on, he ANNOYS me, he IRRITATES me, he won't take a HINT, and he makes me SO distracted from making an artistic and/or musical masterpiece, that I can't see straight! Can I take a third option?!" / Bubble Bass says: "If Squidward were REALLY capable of creating SUCH a great artistic and/or musical piece, he would've DONE it by now, Spongebob or NO Spongebob! At this point, I don't think he REALLY wants to create such a great work; he just wants to use Spongebob as a scapegoat for all the failures and shortcomings in Squidward's OWN life, that are mostly his OWN fault! I just hope my threat, puts Squidward in his place! Because if it doesn't, we'll HAVE to vote him off! Newcomer, or NO newcomer!" (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) / The commercials end, and the teams are now at the steps of knowledge! Kaput goes up to Bulma, and he says: "Bulma; I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye in the past, mostly because you're a LOT taller than I am; but I have to wonder, how on EARTH did you stop being so bad and turn good?! That doesn't make SENSE to me!" Bulma says: "Well, if you must know, yes; I will admit that I wasn't always a paragon of purity and niceness. I used to be selfish, vain, self-centered, and MORE egotistical than I am now. Having my plans unravel, being forced to eliminate myself, and having to go through that PAINFUL Humiliation Conga Line, that you and all those other season three contestants did, made me realize that if THAT'S the price you have to pay, to try to get something WITHOUT actually earning it, than it's NOT worth it! And I have to live with knowing that along with everybody else! That Clean Slate only worked once!" Kaput says: "As much as I want to understand good, I do NOT want to go through a Humiliation Conga! Isn't there another way?" Zarbon says: "Well, you could do what I did. You should learn by doing! After finding out about Freeza's demise, I realized that I was no longer bound to be evil the way he intended, so I used my skills to try to do good instead. Granted, I didn't always use it in the way that I should have, but you HAVE to start with good intentions! I try to be an inspiration to others! If I can be an inspiration to you, that could make ALL the difference in the world!" Kaput says: "The world, huh? I think I'm starting to get an idea!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Do I think Kaput is being on the level with us? Not entirely! But as I have personally learned, stranger things have happened! But I'll wait and see for myself just what EXACTLY that little alien has in mind!" / Zarbon says: "I had to go through some painful experiences to find out, that there's a difference between doing the right thing, and doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I tried doing what BULMA told me the right thing would be, and it ended up ONLY being right for her! I don't want anyone else having to go through what I did! And if it makes Kaput have a better personality, I think that would benefit all of us!" (End Confessional) Heffer says: "Hey! We're FINALLY getting some focus in this episode! Why did it take so long?" Monster says: "Well, there ARE still 42 contestants. Of COURSE it's going to be hard to try to focus on every single one!" Judy says: "You DO realize, that if you WANT to have focus, you have to BE the focus! You have to BE dramatic! Be DARING! Show your soul to EVERYONE in the audience! By showing the TRUTH, you will make the audience fall in love with you! It is the secret, to MY dramatic success!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "And I thought I did some crazy things on my show! But the way she talks is even CRAZIER than those things! Of course, she DOES kind of have a point!" / Monster says: "Judy has pointed out one important thing our show lacked; variety. We only HAD robots and monsters, and ONE half-monster/half-robot Santa Clause substitute! It's kind of not surprising our show didn't last longer! Perhaps by learning how to have more variety, may convince the studio to give our show another shot! I mean, I can't depend on starring roles on THIS show forever!" / Judy says: "Even though this show wasn't exactly MADE for my acting talents, I still intend giving this show EVERYTHING that I've got! After all, if you don't PLAY with everything you've got, you might as well NOT be playing!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! It's time to reveal our randomly selected contestants for the Steps of Knowledge! Daggett, you and Haggis will be playing for the Silver Snakes! Treeflower, you and Spongebob will be playing for the Green Monkeys!" Treeflower asks: "Spongebob, you think you'll be helpful with this?" Spongebob says: "Of course! I saw every single episode of the original Legends of The Hidden Temple at least once while growing up! I know how to handle myself!" Treeflower says: "Thank you! I feel SO much better!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I HAD to ask, okay?! If I'm going to play with someone, I want to know if they are on the same page as I am! And yes, I had some doubts about Spongebob, but it looks like he IS playing with a full deck! And if Squidward has any BRAINS, he WON'T try to mess us BOTH up just to try and prove some STUPID point!" / Spongebob says: "I always WANTED to compete on the original Legends of the Hidden Temple! Unfortunately, I was only nine, and I needed to be at least 12. While I'm considerably older now, I'm hoping that the extra time I've been given to prepare will be worth it! And even if Squidward isn't impressed by it, I hope Sandy will be! The main reason I'm doing this, is to impress OUR kids!" / Sandy says: "The biggest reason why I married Spongebob, is BECAUSE he's not a stuck-up, pretentious SNOT like Squidward is! And, he's not intimidated by MY intelligence and strength, like a lot of OTHER guys in my life were!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Gerald, you and Heffer will be playing for the Red Jaguars!" Gerald says: "Cool!" And Squidward and Yakety Yak, you will be playing for the Blue Barracudas, let's see if you're on the same level as the REST of the Legends!" Yakety says: "I know that I'm ready for this! I can't say the same for SQUIDWARD though!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "What?! You think that I can't take this seriously?!" Yakety says: "I haven't seen any evidence so FAR!" Squidward asks: "Not even when I was referencing Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute'? I'll PROVE it to you!" Squidward grabs a piece of paper, and Squidward says: "Look! 100,000 paper cuts on my FACE!!!!" And he rapidly swipes himself! Darwin says: "1, 10, 50, 100, 10,000, WOAH! 100,000 in 30 seconds! I haven't seen swiping THAT fast since the last time Swiper the Fox swiped something from Dora!" Squidward goes to the nearest door, and he says: "Look! I'm slamming my tentacles in a door AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!" Larry shouts: "There ARE easier WAYS to deal with ANGER, frustration, and DENIAL, Squidward!" (Confessional) Larry says: "While everyone has different ways to let off excess anger in a healthy, constructive way; the way I do it is by exercising. If something bothers me, I work my aggression off by working out! That way, it makes my body more fit, and I don't hurt anybody!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Look! I'm having my blood sucked out by leeches!" Dog asks: "WAIT! Where did he get those?!" And everyone looks at Kaput! Kaput asks: "WHAT?! He asks if I smuggled some from the Congo! I told him I did, and he wanted them to PROVE a point!" (Confessional) Dog says: "Kaput, if this is you TRYING to be good, you're NOT doing a good job at it!" / Kaput face-palms himself, and he says: "Well, that's just GREAT! How was I supposed to know that Squidward was being OVERLY dramatic?! I'm not a mind-reader, you know! Besides, he'll probably have a cute new nickname; Leech Guy! So what are THEY complaining about?!" (End Confessional) Squidward THROWS a bunch of Double-Edged Razor Blades into the Moat, and he says: "I'm going to dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades!" Sway-Sway says: "STOP HIM!!!!" And he, Harvey, Gonard, Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee, Bubble Bass, and Yakety Yak, quickly rush to STOP Squidward from jumping in! Squidward says: "NO!!!! Let me GO!!!! Let me GO!!!!" Gonard yells: "No! Shut up!" The rest of them say: "Shut up!" Dudley says: "You're making a GREAT big deal out of NOTHING!!!! Look, Sandy is Spongebob's HUSBAND, Pearl is Spongebob's friend, Larry is Spongebob's friend, I'm Spongebob's friend, Johnny Krill is Spongebob's friend, even Bubble Bass can socialize with Spongebob! Why can't YOU socialize with Spongebob?!" Squidward is still struggling, and he says: "Because...BECAUSE...!" Fee bluntly says: "Because he doesn't want to disappoint his FATHER!" Harvey says: "Fee, what are you saying?" Fee says: "Come on! I can TOTALLY see it! If Squidward isn't ACTING this way because of SOMETHING Spongebob actually did to him, it HAS to come from the way Squidward was raised! And where DO you get ideas like, you can't LIKE a certain group of people, be friends with them, or socialize with them because it will SOMEHOW cause YOU to be dragged down to THEIR level; when in reality, the experience would ONLY make them a better, smarter person?! Or octopus, as the case may be? It's because he learned it from HIS father! Beyond that, I don't know! But Squidward, if you think that if you JUST hate Spongebob enough, do everything in your power to minimize your interaction time with him, and anything else like that, is SOMEHOW going to MAGICALLY make your father come back to life and give you the love he NEVER gave to you while he was alive? Well, it WON'T! Your father is DEAD, Squidward, and he's NEVER coming back! And no matter what you think about Spongebob, you need to STOP blaming everyone else for shortcomings that YOU caused yourself, and take responsibility for your own actions!" Chameleon says: "Wow! That is SO profound!" Fee says: "My mom's making me watch a lot of education videos to catch up to my education level. I needed to learn SOMETHING by watching them!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Is what Fee said true? Have I REALLY been hating Spongebob all this time, NOT because I actually hated him, but because of the way my father raised me?" Squidward strains, but nothing comes to him! Squidward says: "Why can't I remember?! Did he do something wrong and I blacked it out of my memory? I heard of such traumatic things happening, but I never thought it could've occurred to me. When this challenge is over, I REALLY need to talk with a professional like Bulma, in order to straighten things out!" / Fee says: "If it wasn't so sad and tragic, it WOULD be kind of funny that a little kid, of EVERYONE, would BE the one who could identify Squidward's problem! I'm not SAYING I'm proud of myself by doing it so that EVERYONE could hear, but I couldn't allow him to be a liability to the rest of the team anymore! If anything, I was doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" / Harvey says: "I always KNEW Fee was smarter than what Dade and Princess claimed! Now I have the ultimate proof of that!" / Chameleon says: "I sure wish that when I was Fee's age, I had been that smart! I might have never taken up being a villain in the FIRST place!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "Woah! Thanks to Squidward's little publicity stunt, we now don't have enough time to do the Steps of Knowledge this time, so I'll split the difference and give every team a chance to win a Pendant of Life!" Jenny says: "We're using the Pendant of Life again?!" Sniz says: "You are correct, Jenny! And this time, the way they work is a little different! In the proper Temple itself, the regular Pendant's of Life will be used to ward off Temple Guards, sort of as an extra life! In Elimination Ceremonies, you'll need a DIFFERENT Pendant Of Life!" Sandy asks: "Different, how?" Sniz says: "This season, each team will be able to collect ONE color-coordinated Pendant of Life per team! Normally, you'd have to find them within the challenge itself, or win it by going down the Steps of Knowledge! Also, if you find a Pendant Of Life that DOESN'T belong to your team, you cannot destroy it, or YOU will receive Penalty Votes if you do, for the REST of the Game! You must give that Pendant to ONE member of that team! Of course, you're free to choose who you give it to! To DETERMINE who gets the Pendant Of Life this time, we'll simply use a tie-breaker question! One member of each team, will have a chance to answer a question, regarding to the legend itself! Of course, you didn't get a chance to hear it, so that makes it a little more challenging! Olmec, where can the Lost Manuscript be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, can be found in the Tomb of The Pharaoh's!" Sniz says: "All right! With that in mind, who wants to be the representative for each team?" Tigress' eyes light up with an idea, and she says: "Oh, I'll volunteer!" Haggis asks: "Seriously?" But before she can take a single step down the Steps of Knowledge, Tigress TRIPS and in slow-motion says: "OOPS!!!!" And as she's flailing in slow-motion, one of her paws ACCIDENTALLY hits Po square in the face! The camera speed returns to normal, as Tigress lands (on her feet), and she angrily says: "You hit Po!" Inside of her mind, Master Coelaceanth protests: "But that was a--!" Tigress yells: "YOU HIT PO!!!!" And lightning seems to ERUPT out of Tigress' body! Po says: "I forgot how STRONG she can punch! What is going ON here?!" Bubble Bass IMMEDIATELY puts two and two together, and he says: "I know what is, and you're NOT going to LIKE it!" Tigress screams: "Get out of my HEAD!!!!" And as Tigress screams, a ghostly ectoplasm ERUPTS out of Tigress' mouth, and ends up LANDING right into Aang's mouth! Po rushes to her side, and Po asks: "Tigress, are you all right?" Tigress coughs, and she says: "I'm fine now, but I don't think that AANG is!" Super Chum asks: "Why would that be?" Bubble Bass says: "Because what escaped out of Tigress' mouth, WAS Master Coelaceanth's soul!" And Aang's clothes transform, into the EXACT garb worn by Master Coealaceanth! In Master Coelaceanth's voice, Aang says: "BLAST you, Tigress! How DARE you trip and hit Po on the way down?!" Tigress asks: "Did you REALLY think I was going to let YOU make ME the villain of this season?! Anti-Cosmo tried that once, and spoiler alert, it DIDN'T work! Of COURSE I was going to try to get rid of you the FIRST chance I got!" Aang growls angrily, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Deviously clever, even by feline standards; but you made a BIG mistake, in letting AANG absorb me!" Stimpy says: "How do you figure that? He has already SURVIVED having Mesogog hijack his body, he can survive YOUR attempt, to!" Aang chuckles, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Ordinarily, I'd be inclined to agree. But this time, he has an actual REASON to WANT me in his body; he wants to get REVENGE against Tigress, just as much as I do, and it's all thanks to Tigress' UTTER arrogance, that has provided FUEL for his FIRE!" Tigess says: "Po, go ahead and say, 'I told you so'!" Po says: "Totally NOT the time or place!" Bubble Bass smugly asks: "Aren't YOU forgetting one important thing?" Yakety asks: "What would THAT be?!" Bubble Bass says: "The RULES for this season! The rules SPECIFICALLY state that you CAN'T kill another contestant while on this show, no matter WHO you are! Even EVIL contestants have to follow THAT rule!" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you've officially gone from a 2 to a 9 on my Respect-O-Meter!" Aang pauses to think, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Very well! I'll BIDE my time! And as for you my FINE lady; true, I can't attend to you NOW, as I'd like; but just TRY to stay out of my way! Just TRY! I'll get you, my pretty! And those mangy DOGS, to! Later, losers!" And Master Coelaceanth's garb disappears from Aang's body! Zim rushes to Aang, and Zim asks: "Aang, are you all right?!" Aang, in his own voice, creepily says: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again! If you need help, hang up, and dial your operator!" Zim says: "So, I'd take that as a no." Haggis says: "That may be Aang's body, but it looks like it's Master Coelaceanth's mind, now!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "Did I really come BACK for another season, just so I could deal with a mind-controlled Aang AGAIN?! Granted, it's not the same guy doing it, but STILL!" / Tigress says: "Of COURSE I didn't want to personally punch Po, but I had no other option! After all, the deal was, that WE could never hurt Po! If I let Master Coelaceanth have total control, he NEVER would've let me pull even THAT trip off! Of course, it's not exactly like I made the situation TOTALLY better! Now Master Coelaceanth is in AANG'S body! And Aang is totally MAD at me, and RIGHTFULLY so! Well, I don't care WHAT it takes! I'll rid Aang of Master Coelaceanth's influence, and apologize to Aang, even if it's the LAST thing my FIRST of Nine lives gets to do!" / Yakety says: "Suddenly, I'm glad we have at least SOMEONE on our team who read the entire contract! Thank you, Bubble Bass!" / Bubble Bass says: "Master Coelaceanth is FAR more resilient than I ever could have dreamed! He was killed, yet still came back as Springtrap! He was short-circuited, but he still came back as a zombie! He was deep-fried and eaten, and his soul STILL survives! Ooh, I wish we had Danny Fenton here; he'd know how to deal with a spectral threat! But we're still find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth, once and for all!" / Spongebob says: "Now I KNOW that Bubble Bass truly likes me as a friend; he went out of his way to bring up that rule, in order to save my life! From now, I'm going to let him eat his Krusty Krab food the way he wants to, and I won't get in the way of his enjoyment of that food again!" / Aang, in his own voice, says: "While I'm ANGRY that I have to share my body with someone else AGAIN, at least it makes me considerably stronger than I was before! After all, I will NEED such strength if I am to teach Tigress HER place in the world!" / Sniz says: "The views expressed by our contestants and/or maniacal fish psychopaths, do not reflect the views of this host or it's parent corporation!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Look, can we quit messing around and get ON with the tie-breaker question?!" Everyone else says: "Yes, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Okay, besides Tigress, who else will volunteer for the Tie-Breaker question?" Keswick says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Kitty says: "I volunteer for the Silver Snakes!" Squidward says: "And I volunteer for the Blue Barracudas!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I HAD to volunteer! HELLO! Even with everything that's going around, my team, and the Green Monkeys, aren't likely to forget the way that I'VE been acting, and they'll vote me off if we lose! I HAD to volunteer; it's my only chance of being able to protect myself in case we lose!" (End Confessional) The four contestants come to the Tie-Breaker Pedestal, and Sniz says: "Okay, for a Team Pendant Of Life, here is the Tie-Breaker question; When was Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde first published, and who wrote it?" Tigress buzzes in first, and she says: "1886, written by Robert Louis Stevenson!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You've won an Immunity Pendant of Life! Just remember; this time around, if you use a Pendant of Life in an Elimination Ceremony, you won't be able to find another one, until AFTER another challenge is completed, so choose the times you use them wisely!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of what Sniz says, I HAD to get the Immunity Pendant Of Life! Since our team has to work with the Silver Snakes, than we win or lose together! However, now that I HAVE this, I don't have to win! And while I do like winning, I do need Aang gone MORE! And if he's NOT a contestant, he's FAIR game!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal what the challenge will be! In the actual novella of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Dr. Jekyll made a strange concoction, to turn himself into Mr. Hyde, and live out his darkest urges! In this challenge, all the contestants on both sets of teams, will have to work as a relay station, to get the concoction from the starting line, into the large glass beaker at the finish line! The first two teams to make their concoction go OVER the line indicated on the large glass beaker, will win immunity, and get a chance to go into the Temple! Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, since you have one more contestant than the other teams, you'll both have to sit someone out!" Tigress says: "Oh, I don't mind setting THIS one out!" Aang screams: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "You heard me! Let's see how far YOU get WITHOUT my help!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Nobody invades MY mind and gets away with it, especially NOT Master Coelaceanth!" / Aang fumes, and in his own voice, says: "Just you wait! YOU are going to PAY!!!!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys consult with each other, and Dog says: "I better sit this one out, I don't want to accidentally get thirsty and drink some of the concoction." Sniz says: "Very well! Teams, we're putting three minutes on the clock! We hope that's enough! On your marks, get set, GO!" / During the montage, Tigress is laughing and enjoying herself, watching Aang and the rest of the Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes STRUGGLE without her help, while the Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas put aside their differences to work on the challenge, while Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", plays over the montage. Cyndi sings: "I come home in the morning light. My mother says, 'When you gonna live your life right?' Oh, mamma, dear, we're not the fortunate ones. And girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells, 'What you gonna do with your life?' Oh, daddy, dear, you know you're still number one. But girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have. That's all they really want. Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! (Musical Break) Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun! Oh girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have; that's all they really want! Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun! Oh girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! They just wanna, they just wanna! Girls just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! They just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! Just wanna; just wanna! They just wanna; they just wanna! When the working day is done! Oh, Girls! Girls just wanna fun!" And the song and montage ends as the Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas manage to fill their giant glass beaker first! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas both win immunity! Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes, I'll deal with you later! Now, you need to choose who you are going to send into the Temple!" Squidward says: "Bubble Bass, I HAVE been acting irrationally about Spongebob." Bubble Bass says: "Well, that's good. Admitting you HAVE a problem is the first step to recovery." Squidward says: "I know, it's just, I'm not sure if I'm quite ready yet to work with Spongebob. I need to find out what my problem is. Bubble Bass, will you go into the Temple, first?" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, but says: "Fine! With my luck, I'll probably get captured soon anyways!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Well, it finally happened. It took longer than I expected, but it happened. Squidward admitted he had a problem. Now, I'll wait to see if he can follow through." / Squidward says: "I'm not saying that I WILL become friends with Spongebob, I just want to be able to interact with him in a way that isn't irrational! Besides, it will make life around him a lot easier!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you sure?" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you protected me from Master Coelaceanth's wrath! If the Temple Guards catch you, competing to find the Lost Manuscript is the least I can do for you! Do you trust me?!" Bubble Bass says: "Somehow, I do." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "After everything Spongebob has been through, I honestly think he just MIGHT be able to get that Lost Manuscript!" / Spongebob says: "In the previous seasons, I would've been content to let someone else shine. But, with Master Coelaceanth back in the action, I have to show him, that I'm NOT going to be afraid of him! I mean, I'm a LITTLE afraid of him; who wouldn't be?! But true courage isn't about NOT being afraid; it's about DOING the thing that scares you in SPITE of the fact that you are afraid, and that's what true bravery is! I HAVE to do this! If not for my own sake, than for Sandy's!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Very well, than! Olmec, tell us about the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Mummy's Crypt, pull on the correct book, but beware of the Temple Guard! Next, go onto the ledge, knock down the pedestal, and climb into the Observatory! There, spin the sundial, than go down into Medusa's Lair. Fit the snakes into her hair, than go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Place the Monkey together, than go into the next room and go down the Devil's Slide! Once down in the Basement, knock down the wall, and go into the Tomb of the Pharaoh's, where you can grab the Lost Manuscript! Than, go through the Room of Enlightment, crawl back through the pit, make your way through the Ledges, than back to the Temple Entrance! If you succeed, you will be rewarded with an Immunity Pendant of Life of your choice!" Sniz says: "Thank you, Olmec! All right, Bubble Bass! You won in the last half-season, let's see if you can put your skills to good use here! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" Sniz narrates the action as Bubble Bass goes along! Sniz says: "Bubble Bass is in the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard, right off the bat! He hands over the Pendant of Life, and tries to find the right book! He finds it! He's on the ledge and he's...belching loudly, and the pedestal falls down! Unconventional, but we'll allow it! He's up in the Observatory, he's spinning the sundial, he's going down into Medusa's Lair...and another Temple Guard! Go Spongebob, go! Spongebob's making his way through the Crypt, across the Ledge, into the Observatory, and down into Medusa's Lair, and he's trying to find the right snakes to put into her hair. He's found them! He's in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, and another Temple Guard! He hands over his Pendant of Life! Spongebob is putting down the base, and the chest, and the Head! The door's open! He's heading down the Devil's Slide, and he's bracing himself, and he knocks down the wall! He's in the Tomb of the Pharaoh's! He's got the Lost Manuscript! All the doors are open! He's going through the Room of Enlightment! Through the Pit, and now he's going through the Ledges! He's out! With 44 seconds to spare! You get an Immunity Pendant Of Life of your choice!" Spongebob thinks about it, and he says: "I choose...to let Squidward have the Blue Barracuda's Pendant of Life!" Squidward's eyes well up, and he says: "You're giving an Immunity Pendant of Life, to me? Even after everything I said to you?" Spongebob says: "I don't know what you've been through, but I DO know that deep down, there's good in you! And I want you to have the chance to prove yourself! And honestly? I think you're going to need that Pendant Of Life more than I'll need one for me." Squidward says: "Spongebob, I promise you, your sacrifice will NOT be in vain! Whatever it takes, I will AVENGE you!" Spongebob asks: "What are you talking about?" Bubble Bass says: "Squidward KIND of has a point! You just LITERALLY made what could be the STUPIDEST move in the HISTORY of this show! You gave away the chance to get a Pendant of Life for yourself! Do you HONESTLY think you can find one during the NEXT challenge?" Spongebob says: "That's a chance I'm willing to take! I truly believe that if you give out good karma, you will GET good karma in return!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "For your sake, I hope you're right!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I'm not saying I'm going to vote off Spongebob, I probably won't. But even if I don't, that won't stop everyone else from doing so! He's the most popular character on this show! Of COURSE they'll vote him off the first chance they get! I just hope I truly CAN avenge him! I owe at least THAT much to him!" / Bubble Bass says: "The next challenge will TRULY be a test of Spongebob's resolve! I certainly hope he wins the next challenge or FINDS an Immunity Pendant, because if he doesn't, I'm not sure if Spongebob's heart can take it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, looks like Tigress benching herself didn't really help you. That being said, she DOES have an Immunity Pendant, and she might just use it! And Silver Snakes, your inability to work together has doomed your efforts yet again! BOTH of you will be eliminating one contestant on your team, when I see BOTH of your teams, at the Elimination Ceremony tonight!" And Aang has a devious look in his eyes! (Confessional) Aang jerks, and gains Master Coelaceanth's garb again! Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "It's about time! It was getting HOT in there! How very like Tigress! She thinks she can take the QUICK path to get rid of me! It might have worked once, but it's NOT going to work again! I might not be able to eliminate Tigress THIS time, but I can FORCE her to use that Pendant of Life! She won't be able to get one AGAIN for another two challenges!" / Bulma says: "There's no doubt in my mind that Tigress, and Aang/Master Coelaceanth will try to target each other, and since NOBODY else wants Aang to stick around, I'm sure most of the other contestants will try to vote him off to! However, I SAW the devious look in Aang's eyes! Something is off! I'm telling Sandy to vote someone inconsequential like Kaput and Johnny Krill, and we'll let the others take the FALL for the aftermath of the Eliminations!" (End Confessional) The Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes are at the Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, welcome to your first time here! I'm honestly a little surprised! Silver Snakes, not so much! I thought you would have learned your lesson from the LAST time!" Taotie says: "That's what I thought, but apparently, no one ever LISTENS to me!" Sniz says: "In any case, you will take the voting devices, make your selections than insert a Miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once the Votes are tallied, but before I reveal the safe contestants, whoever has an Immunity Pendant of Life, must present it in order to receive immunity from any votes! Otherwise, whichever two contestants have the most votes, must board the Mine Cart of Shame, and go through the Mine Shaft of Losers! That means that you're out of the contest, and you can never come back again, EVER! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And the contestants make quick work on who they want to vote off! Sniz says: "Voting over, so it's time to..." Aang says: "Not so fast! I HAVE the Silver Snakes Immunity Pendant, and I WILL be playing it on MYSELF!!!!" Haggis screams: "Oh, NO!!!!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is real, so all votes cast for Aang will not count! Now..." Tigress says: "Hold it! Aang isn't the ONLY one who had a Pendant of Life! I'm playing mine on myself!" Sandy says: "It's a good thing cats have nine lives! Tigress might need all the chances she can get!" Sniz says: "This Pendant of Life is also real, that means all votes cast for Tigress, will not count! Now, it's time to reveal the safe contestants who will receive Chocolate Pendants of Life! Obviously, Aang. Daggett, Otto, Sandy, Judy, Gerald, Haggis, Pearl, Zim, Larry, Kitty, Snaptrap, Heffer, Buhdeuce, Blonda, Taotie. Obviously, Tigress. Jenny!" Bulma, Kaput, and Johnny Krill, all tense up, as they are the only three left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life this evening!" Kaput looks angrily at everyone, Johnny is relaxed, as if convinced that he WON'T be leaving, while Bulma just sweats profusely! Sniz says: "And the Pendant goes to, BULMA!!!!" Bulma jumps up and says: "YES!!!!" And she hugs the contestant closest to her, only to realize that it's Johnny Krill! Bulma says: "Oops! I am SO sorry, Johnny!" Sandy says: "I'm sorry to. I didn't want to eliminate you, not like this! I wanted to actually compete against you!" Johnny says: "I'm not upset! It's actually quite impressive! I mean, it took TWO whole Pendants of Life JUST to eliminate me! How many other contestants can say that, BESIDES Kaput?!" Kaput says: "I don't understand! I thought I was doing good!" Kitty says: "Well, that may be, but you've got a LONG way to go, before you actually get there! Get some experience in the real world, before you make another commitment like that!" Sniz says: "The teams have spoken, and your bags are packed!" Sniz gives Kaput a helmet, since Johnny Krill is already wearing one! And they get in the Mine Cart, and buckle their seat belts! Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine Cart blasts down the rail track, and through the mysterious Mine Shaft Portal! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are gone! Things are sure to get more intense, now that Master Coelaceanth is inhabiting Aang's body! Everyone will have to be on their guard! And while I legally can't endorse the elimination of a contestant, I can certainly hope and be excited for a potential one! In any case, see which teams will prevail, on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Thank you for being a part of this exciting adventure!" / Stinger: Kaput and Johnny Krill blast through the portal, and the other end of the portal, dumps them out RIGHT into the middle of the skate park at Ocean Shores, California! Twister says: "What the?! Where did YOU two come from?!" Johnny says: "Would you believe that we came from Total Cartoon Legends?" Reggie says: "I would. They actually wanted ME on there; and Otto only got to come, because I said; 'No, I already WON a season, there's no where to go but down'." Twister says: "Well, while we wait for Otto, we're practicing mad skills on these half-pipes and stuff! Would you like to practice with us?" Kaput asks: "Would we be doing good?" Reggie says: "With my help, you can be some of the BEST, good athletes, that Ocean Shores has ever seen!" Kaput says: "In that case, hand me a skateboard, and I'll become one of the best!" Johnny says: "You're already half-way there, in my books!" / Episode Notes: It is revealed that Master Coelaceanth's soul is STILL alive! Initially in Tigress' body, it is now currently in Aang's body. Squidward FINALLY realizes that his Irrational hatred of Spongebob, may stem from how his father raised him. Immunity Pendants of Life introduced, and Aang and Tigress both play one. Featured songs in this episode, The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes", and Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". Kaput and Johnny Krill become the FIRST two contestants that needed TWO Pendants Of Life played in order to be eliminated! Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. / Personal Notes: I'll admit, I WAS a little tempted to make Tigress go through a similar scenario of what Mike went through in "Total Drama All-Stars", but after reviewing the mess THAT season was, I was like, "No, no, I can't do THAT again." So, I decided to shake up the formula, by having Tigress find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth early, only to wind up with ANOTHER problem; mainly that Master Coelaceanth is now inhabiting Aang's body! And while this is a deviation, I highly consider ANY deviation from "Total Drama All-Stars" a good thing! The less I can copy that season, the better! As for Johnny Krill and Kaput, while they definitely both have good strengths as far as contestants go, I needed two unexpected contestants to unexpectedly be eliminated, due to Tigress and Aang trying to fire against each other, and Johnny Krill and Kaput just happened to be the contestants who got caught in the cross-fire! So, needless to say, it's anyone's guess as to who will be eliminated next! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!
  13. All right! It's time for the second, and final part of my latest "Total Cartoon Legends" episode! I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it! / The commercials end, and the teams are now at the steps of knowledge! Kaput goes up to Bulma, and he says: "Bulma; I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye in the past, mostly because you're a LOT taller than I am; but I have to wonder, how on EARTH did you stop being so bad and turn good?! That doesn't make SENSE to me!" Bulma says: "Well, if you must know, yes; I will admit that I wasn't always a paragon of purity and niceness. I used to be selfish, vain, self-centered, and MORE egotistical than I am now. Having my plans unravel, being forced to eliminate myself, and having to go through that PAINFUL Humiliation Conga Line, that you and all those other season three contestants did, made me realize that if THAT'S the price you have to pay, to try to get something WITHOUT actually earning it, than it's NOT worth it! And I have to live with knowing that along with everybody else! That Clean Slate only worked once!" Kaput says: "As much as I want to understand good, I do NOT want to go through a Humiliation Conga! Isn't there another way?" Zarbon says: "Well, you could do what I did. You should learn by doing! After finding out about Freeza's demise, I realized that I was no longer bound to be evil the way he intended, so I used my skills to try to do good instead. Granted, I didn't always use it in the way that I should have, but you HAVE to start with good intentions! I try to be an inspiration to others! If I can be an inspiration to you, that could make ALL the difference in the world!" Kaput says: "The world, huh? I think I'm starting to get an idea!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Do I think Kaput is being on the level with us? Not entirely! But as I have personally learned, stranger things have happened! But I'll wait and see for myself just what EXACTLY that little alien has in mind!" / Zarbon says: "I had to go through some painful experiences to find out, that there's a difference between doing the right thing, and doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. I tried doing what BULMA told me the right thing would be, and it ended up ONLY being right for her! I don't want anyone else having to go through what I did! And if it makes Kaput have a better personality, I think that would benefit all of us!" (End Confessional) Heffer says: "Hey! We're FINALLY getting some focus in this episode! Why did it take so long?" Monster says: "Well, there ARE still 42 contestants. Of COURSE it's going to be hard to try to focus on every single one!" Judy says: "You DO realize, that if you WANT to have focus, you have to BE the focus! You have to BE dramatic! Be DARING! Show your soul to EVERYONE in the audience! By showing the TRUTH, you will make the audience fall in love with you! It is the secret, to MY dramatic success!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "And I thought I did some crazy things on my show! But the way she talks is even CRAZIER than those things! Of course, she DOES kind of have a point!" / Monster says: "Judy has pointed out one important thing our show lacked; variety. We only HAD robots and monsters, and ONE half-monster/half-robot Santa Clause substitute! It's kind of not surprising our show didn't last longer! Perhaps by learning how to have more variety, may convince the studio to give our show another shot! I mean, I can't depend on starring roles on THIS show forever!" / Judy says: "Even though this show wasn't exactly MADE for my acting talents, I still intend giving this show EVERYTHING that I've got! After all, if you don't PLAY with everything you've got, you might as well NOT be playing!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! It's time to reveal our randomly selected contestants for the Steps of Knowledge! Daggett, you and Haggis will be playing for the Silver Snakes! Treeflower, you and Spongebob will be playing for the Green Monkeys!" Treeflower asks: "Spongebob, you think you'll be helpful with this?" Spongebob says: "Of course! I saw every single episode of the original Legends of The Hidden Temple at least once while growing up! I know how to handle myself!" Treeflower says: "Thank you! I feel SO much better!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I HAD to ask, okay?! If I'm going to play with someone, I want to know if they are on the same page as I am! And yes, I had some doubts about Spongebob, but it looks like he IS playing with a full deck! And if Squidward has any BRAINS, he WON'T try to mess us BOTH up just to try and prove some STUPID point!" / Spongebob says: "I always WANTED to compete on the original Legends of the Hidden Temple! Unfortunately, I was only nine, and I needed to be at least 12. While I'm considerably older now, I'm hoping that the extra time I've been given to prepare will be worth it! And even if Squidward isn't impressed by it, I hope Sandy will be! The main reason I'm doing this, is to impress OUR kids!" / Sandy says: "The biggest reason why I married Spongebob, is BECAUSE he's not a stuck-up, pretentious SNOT like Squidward is! And, he's not intimidated by MY intelligence and strength, like a lot of OTHER guys in my life were!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Gerald, you and Heffer will be playing for the Red Jaguars!" Gerald says: "Cool!" And Squidward and Yakety Yak, you will be playing for the Blue Barracudas, let's see if you're on the same level as the REST of the Legends!" Yakety says: "I know that I'm ready for this! I can't say the same for SQUIDWARD though!" Squidward sputters, and he says: "What?! You think that I can't take this seriously?!" Yakety says: "I haven't seen any evidence so FAR!" Squidward asks: "Not even when I was referencing Weird Al Yankovic's 'One More Minute'? I'll PROVE it to you!" Squidward grabs a piece of paper, and Squidward says: "Look! 100,000 paper cuts on my FACE!!!!" And he rapidly swipes himself! Darwin says: "1, 10, 50, 100, 10,000, WOAH! 100,000 in 30 seconds! I haven't seen swiping THAT fast since the last time Swiper the Fox swiped something from Dora!" Squidward goes to the nearest door, and he says: "Look! I'm slamming my tentacles in a door AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!" Larry shouts: "There ARE easier WAYS to deal with ANGER, frustration, and DENIAL, Squidward!" (Confessional) Larry says: "While everyone has different ways to let off excess anger in a healthy, constructive way; the way I do it is by exercising. If something bothers me, I work my aggression off by working out! That way, it makes my body more fit, and I don't hurt anybody!" (End Confessional) Squidward says: "Look! I'm having my blood sucked out by leeches!" Dog asks: "WAIT! Where did he get those?!" And everyone looks at Kaput! Kaput asks: "WHAT?! He asks if I smuggled some from the Congo! I told him I did, and he wanted them to PROVE a point!" (Confessional) Dog says: "Kaput, if this is you TRYING to be good, you're NOT doing a good job at it!" / Kaput face-palms himself, and he says: "Well, that's just GREAT! How was I supposed to know that Squidward was being OVERLY dramatic?! I'm not a mind-reader, you know! Besides, he'll probably have a cute new nickname; Leech Guy! So what are THEY complaining about?!" (End Confessional) Squidward THROWS a bunch of Double-Edged Razor Blades into the Moat, and he says: "I'm going to dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades!" Sway-Sway says: "STOP HIM!!!!" And he, Harvey, Gonard, Dudley, Zarbon, Chameleon, Fee, Bubble Bass, and Yakety Yak, quickly rush to STOP Squidward from jumping in! Squidward says: "NO!!!! Let me GO!!!! Let me GO!!!!" Gonard yells: "No! Shut up!" The rest of them say: "Shut up!" Dudley says: "You're making a GREAT big deal out of NOTHING!!!! Look, Sandy is Spongebob's HUSBAND, Pearl is Spongebob's friend, Larry is Spongebob's friend, I'm Spongebob's friend, Johnny Krill is Spongebob's friend, even Bubble Bass can socialize with Spongebob! Why can't YOU at least socialize with Spongebob?!" Squidward is still struggling, and he says: "Because...BECAUSE...!" Fee bluntly says: "Because he doesn't want to disappoint his FATHER!" Harvey says: "Fee, what are you saying?" Fee says: "Come on! I can TOTALLY see it! If Squidward isn't ACTING this way because of SOMETHING Spongebob actually did to him, it HAS to come from the way Squidward was raised! And where DO you get ideas like, you can't LIKE a certain group of people, be friends with them, or socialize with them because it will SOMEHOW cause YOU to be dragged down to THEIR level; when in reality, the experience would ONLY make them a better, smarter person?! Or octopus, as the case may be? It's because he learned it from HIS father! Beyond that, I don't know! But Squidward, if you think that if you JUST hate Spongebob enough, do everything in your power to minimize your interaction time with him, and anything else like that, is SOMEHOW going to MAGICALLY make your father come back to life and give you the love he NEVER gave to you while he was alive? Well, it WON'T! Your father is DEAD, Squidward, and he's NEVER coming back! And no matter what you think about Spongebob, you need to STOP blaming everyone else for shortcomings that YOU caused yourself, and take responsibility for your own actions!" Chameleon says: "Wow! That is SO profound!" Fee says: "My mom's making me watch a lot of education videos to catch up to my education level. I needed to learn SOMETHING by watching them!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Is what Fee said true? Have I REALLY been hating Spongebob all this time, NOT because I actually hated him, but because of the way my father raised me?" Squidward strains, but nothing comes to him! Squidward says: "Why can't I remember?! Did he do something wrong and I blacked it out of my memory? I heard of such traumatic things happening, but I never thought it could've occurred to me. When this challenge is over, I REALLY need to talk with a professional like Bulma, in order to straighten things out!" / Fee says: "If it wasn't so sad and tragic, it WOULD be kind of funny that a little kid, of EVERYONE, would BE the one who could identify Squidward's problem! I'm not SAYING I'm proud of myself by doing it so that EVERYONE could hear, but I couldn't allow him to be a liability to the rest of the team anymore! If anything, I was doing him a FAVOR in the long run!" / Harvey says: "I always KNEW Fee was smarter than what Dade and Princess claimed! Now I have the ultimate proof of that!" / Chameleon says: "I sure wish that when I was Fee's age, I had been that smart! I might have never taken up being a villain in the FIRST place!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "Woah! Thanks to Squidward's little publicity stunt, we now don't have enough time to do the Steps of Knowledge this time, so I'll split the difference and give every team a chance to win a Pendant of Life!" Jenny says: "We're using the Pendant of Life again?!" Sniz says: "You are correct, Jenny! And this time, the way they work is a little different! In the proper Temple itself, the regular Pendant's of Life will be used to ward off Temple Guards, sort of as an extra life! In Elimination Ceremonies, you'll need a DIFFERENT Pendant Of Life!" Sandy asks: "Different, how?" Sniz says: "This season, each team will be able to collect ONE color-coordinated Pendant of Life per team! Normally, you'd have to find them within the challenge itself, or win it by going down the Steps of Knowledge! Also, if you find a Pendant Of Life that DOESN'T belong to your team, you cannot destroy it, or YOU will receive Penalty Votes if you do, for the REST of the Game! You must give that Pendant to ONE member of that team! Of course, you're free to choose who you give it to! To DETERMINE who get's the Pendant Of Life this time, we'll simply use a tie-breaker question! One member of each team, will have a chance to answer a question, regarding to the legend itself! Of course, you didn't get a chance to hear it, so that makes it a little more challenging! Olmec, where can the Lost Manuscript be found?" Olmec says: "The Lost Manuscript of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, can be found in the Tomb of The Pharoah's!" Sniz says: "All right! With that in mind, who wants to be the representative for each team?" Tigress' eyes light up with an idea, and she says: "Oh, I'll volunteer!" Haggis asks: "Seriously?" But before she can take a single step down the Steps of Knowledge, Tigress TRIPS and in slow-motion says: "OOPS!!!!" And as she's flailing in slow-motion, one of her paws ACCIDENTALLY hits Po square in the face! The camera speed returns to normal, as Tigress lands (on her feet), and she angrily says: "You hit Po!" Inside of her mind, Master Coelaceanth protests: "But that was a--!" Tigress yells: "YOU HIT PO!!!!" And lightning seems to ERUPT out of Tigress' body! Po says: "I forgot how STRONG she can punch! What is going ON here?!" Bubble Bass IMMEDIATELY puts two and two together, and he says: "I know what is, and you're NOT going to LIKE it!" Tigress screams: "Get out of my HEAD!!!!" And as Tigress screams, a ghostly ectoplasm ERUPTS out of Tigress' mouth, and ends up LANDING right into Aang's mouth! Po rushes to her side, and Po asks: "Tigress, are you all right?" Tigress coughs, and she says: "I'm fine now, but I don't think that AANG is!" Super Chum asks: "Why would that be?" Bubble Bass says: "Because what escaped out of Tigress' mouth, WAS Master Coelaceanth's soul!" And Aang's clothes transform, into the EXACT garb worn by Master Coealaceanth! In Master Coelaceanth's voice, Aang says: "BLAST you, Tigress! How DARE you trip and hit Po on the way down?!" Tigress asks: "Did you REALLY think I was going to let YOU make ME the villain of this season?! Anti-Cosmo tried that once, and spoiler alert, it DIDN'T work! Of COURSE I was going to try to get rid of you the FIRST chance I got!" Aang growls angrily, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Deviously clever, even by feline standards; but you made a BIG mistake, in letting AANG absorb me!" Stimpy says: "How do you figure that? He has already SURVIVED having Mesogog hijack his body, he can survive YOUR attempt, to!" Aang chuckles, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Ordinarily, I'd be inclined to agree. But this time, he has an actual REASON to WANT me in his body; he wants to get REVENGE against Tigress, just as much as I do, and it's all thanks to Tigress' UTTER arrogance that has provided FUEL for his FIRE!" Tigess says: "Po, go ahead and say, 'I told you so'!" Po says: "Totally NOT the time or place!" Bubble Bass smugly asks: "Aren't YOU forgetting one important thing?" Yakety asks: "What would THAT be?!" Bubble Bass says: "The RULES for this season! The rules SPECIFICALLY state that you CAN'T kill another contestant while on this show, no matter WHO you are! Even EVIL contestants have to follow THAT rule!" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you've officially gone from a 2 to a 9 on my Respect-O-Meter!" Aang pauses to think, and Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "Very well! I'll BIDE my time! And as for you my FINE lady; true, I can't attend to you NOW, as I'd like; but just TRY to stay out of my way! Just TRY! I'll get you, my pretty! And those mangy DOGS, to! Later, losers!" And Master Coelaceanth's garb disappears from Aang's body! Zim rushes to Aang, and Zim asks: "Aang, are you all right?!" Aang, in his own voice, creepily says: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again! If you need help, hang up, and dial your operator!" Zim says: "So, I'd take that as a no." Haggis says: "That may be Aang's body, but it looks like it's Master Coelaceanth's mind, now!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "Did I really come BACK for another season, just so I could deal with a mind-controlled Aang AGAIN?! Granted, it's not the same guy doing it, but STILL!" / Tigress says: "Of COURSE I didn't want to personally punch Po, but I had no other option! After all, the deal was, that WE could never hurt Po! If I let Master Coelaceanth have total control, he NEVER would've let me pull even THAT trip off! Of course, it's not exactly like I made the situation TOTALLY better! Now Master Coelaceanth is in AANG'S body! And Aang is totally MAD at me, and RIGHTFULLY so! Well, I don't care WHAT it takes! I'll rid Aang of Master Coelaceanth's influence, and apologize to Aang, even if it's the LAST thing my FIRST of Nine lives gets to do!" / Yakety says: "Suddenly, I'm glad we have at least SOMEONE on our team who read the entire contract! Thank you, Bubble Bass!" / Bubble Bass says: "Master Coelaceanth is FAR more resilient than I ever could have dreamed! He was killed, yet still came back as Springtrap! He was short-circuited, but he still came back as a zombie! He was deep-fried and eaten, and his soul STILL survives! Ooh, I wish we had Danny Fenton here; he'd know how to deal with a spectral threat! But we're still find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth, once and for all!" / Spongebob says: "Now I KNOW that Bubble Bass truly likes me as a friend; he went out of his way to bring up that rule, in order to save my life! From now, I'm going to let him eat his Krusty Krab food the way he wants to, and I won't get in the way of his enjoyment of that food again!" / Aang, in his own voice, says: "While I'm ANGRY that I have to share my body with someone else AGAIN, at least it makes me considerably stronger than I was before! After all, I will NEED such strength if I am to teach Tigress HER place in the world!" / Sniz says: "The views expressed by our contestants and/or maniacal fish psychopaths, do not reflect the views of this host or it's parent corporation!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Look, can we quit messing around and get ON with the tie-breaker question?!" Everyone else says: "Yes, Sniz!" Sniz says: "Okay, besides Tigress, who else will volunteer for the Tie-Breaker question?" Keswick says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Kitty says: "I volunteer for the Silver Snakes!" Squidward says: "And I volunteer for the Blue Barracudas!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I HAD to volunteer! HELLO! Even with everything that's going around, my team, and the Green Monkeys, aren't likely to forget the way that I'VE been acting, and they'll vote me off if we lose! I HAD to volunteer; it's my only chance of being able to protect myself in case we lose!" (End Confessional) The four contestants come to the Tie-Breaker Pedestal, and Sniz says: "Okay, for a Team Pendant Of Life, here is the Tie-Breaker question; When was Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde first published, and who wrote it?" Tigress buzzes in first, and she says: "1886, written by Robert Louis Stevenson!" Sniz says: "That is correct! You've won an Immunity Pendant of Life! Just remember; this time around, if you use a Pendant of Life in an Elimination Ceremony, you won't be able to find another one, until AFTER another challenge is completed, so choose the times you use them wisely!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Regardless of what Sniz says, I HAD to get the Immunity Pendant Of Life! Since our team has to work with the Silver Snakes, than we win or lose together! However, now that I HAVE this, I don't have to win! And while I do like winning, I do need Aang gone MORE! And if he's NOT a contestant, he's FAIR game!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! It's time to reveal what the challenge will be! In the actual novella of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Dr. Jekyll made a strange concoction, to turn himself into Mr. Hyde, and live out his darkest urges! In this challenge, all the contestants on both sets of teams, will have to work as a relay station, to get the concoction from the starting line, into the large glass beaker at the finish line! The first two teams to make their concoction go OVER the line indicated on the large glass beaker, will win immunity, and get a chance to go into the Temple! Green Monkeys and Red Jaguars, since you have one more contestant than the other teams, you'll both have to sit someone out!" Tigress says: "Oh, I don't mind setting THIS one out!" Aang screams: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "You heard me! Let's see how far YOU get WITHOUT my help!" (Confessional) Tigress says: "Nobody invades MY mind and gets away with it, especially NOT Master Coelaceanth!" / Aang fumes, and in his own voice, says: "Just you wait! YOU are going to PAY!!!!" (End Confessional) The Green Monkeys consult with each other, and Dog says: "I better sit this one out, I don't want to accidentally get thirsty and drink some of the concoction." Sniz says: "Very well! Teams, we're putting three minutes on the clock! We hope that's enough! On your marks, get set, GO!" / During the montage, Tigress is laughing and enjoying herself, watching Aang and the rest of the Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes STRUGGLE without her help, while the Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas put aside their differences to work on the challenge, while Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", plays over the montage. Cyndi sings: "I come home in the morning light. My mother says, 'When you gonna live your life right?' Oh, mamma, dear, we're not the fortunate ones. And girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells, 'What you gonna do with your life?' Oh, daddy, dear, you know you're still number one. But girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have. That's all they really want. Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! (Musical Break) Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun! Oh girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have; that's all they really want! Some fun! When the working day is done; oh, girls—they wanna have fun! Oh girls just wanna have fun! Girls—they wanna; wanna have fun! Girls wanna have! They just wanna, they just wanna! Girls just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! They just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun! Just wanna; just wanna! They just wanna; they just wanna! When the working day is done! Oh, Girls! Girls just wanna fun!" And the song and montage ends as the Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas manage to fill their giant glass beaker first! Sniz says: "And it's over! It's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Blue Barracudas both win immunity! Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes, I'll deal with you later! Now, you need to choose who you are going to send into the Temple!" Squidward says: "Bubble Bass, I HAVE been acting irrationally about Spongebob." Bubble Bass says: "Well, that's good. Admitting you HAVE a problem is the first step to recovery." Squidward says: "I know, it's just, I'm not sure if I'm quite ready yet to work with Spongebob. I need to find out what my problem is. Bubble Bass, will you go into the Temple, first?" Bubble Bass rolls his eyes, but says: "Fine! With my luck, I'll probably get captured soon anyways!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Well, it finally happened. It took longer than I expected, but it happened. Squidward admitted he had a problem. Now, I'll wait to see if he can follow through." / Squidward says: "I'm not saying that I WILL become friends with Spongebob, I just want to be able to interact with him in a way that isn't irrational! Besides, it will make life around him a lot easier!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "I volunteer for the Green Monkeys!" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you sure?" Spongebob says: "Bubble Bass, you protected me from Master Coelaceanth's wrath! If the Temple Guards catch you, competing to find the Lost Manuscript is the least I can do for you! Do you trust me?!" Bubble Bass says: "Somehow, I do." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "After everything Spongebob has been through, I honestly think he just MIGHT be able to get that Lost Manuscript!" / Spongebob says: "In the previous seasons, I would've been content to let someone else shine. But, with Master Coelaceanth back in the action, I have to show him, that I'm NOT going to be afraid of him! I mean, I'm a LITTLE afraid of him; who wouldn't be?! But true courage isn't about NOT being afraid; it's about DOING the thing that scares you in SPITE of the fact that you are afraid, and that's what true bravery is! I HAVE to do this! If not for my own sake, than for Sandy's!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Very well, than! Olmec, tell us about the Temple!" Olmec says: "First, go into the Mummy's Crypt, pull on the correct book, but beware of the Temple Guard! Next, go onto the ledge, knock down the pedestal, and climb into the Observatory! There, spin the sundial, than go down into Medusa's Lair. Fit the snakes into her hair, than go into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Place the Monkey together, than go into the next room and go down the Devil's Slide! Once down in the Basement, knock down the wall, and go into the Tomb of the Pharaoh's, where you can grab the Lost Manuscript! Than, go through the Room of Enlightment, crawl back through the pit, make your way through the Ledges, than back to the Temple Entrance! If you succeed, you will be rewarded with an Immunity Pendant of Life of your choice!" Sniz says: "Thank you, Olmec! All right, Bubble Bass! You won in the last half-season, let's see if you can put your skills to good use here! Let's put three minutes on the clock! On your mark, get set, GO!!!!" Sniz narrates the action as Bubble Bass goes along! Sniz says: "Bubble Bass is in the Mummy's Crypt, and a Temple Guard, right off the bat! He hands over the Pendant of Life, and tries to find the right book! He finds it! He's on the ledge and he's...belching loudly, and the pedestal falls down! Unconventional, but we'll allow it! He's up in the Observatory, he's spinning the sundial, he's going down into Medusa's Lair...and another Temple Guard! Go Spongebob, go! Spongebob's making his way through the Crypt, across the Ledge, into the Observatory, and down into Medusa's Lair, and he's trying to find the right snakes to put into her hair. He's found them! He's in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, and another Temple Guard! He hands over his Pendant of Life! Spongebob is putting down the base, and the chest, and the Head! The door's open! He's heading down the Devil's Slide, and he's bracing himself, and he knocks down the wall! He's in the Tomb of the Pharoah's! He's got the Lost Manuscript! All the doors are open! He's going through the Room of Enlightment! Through the Pit, and now he's going through the Ledges! He's out! With 44 seconds to spare! You get an Immunity Pendant Of Life of your choice!" Spongebob thinks about it, and he says: "I choose...to let Squidward have the Blue Barracuda's Pendant of Life!" Squidward's eyes well up, and he says: "You're giving an Immunity Pendant of Life, to me? Even after everything I said to you?" Spongebob says: "I don't know what you've been through, but I DO know that deep down, there's good in you! And I want you to have the chance to prove yourself! And honestly? I think you're going to need that Pendant Of Life more than I'll need one for me." Squidward says: "Spongebob, I promise you, your sacrifice will NOT be in vain! Whatever it takes, I will AVENGE you!" Spongebob asks: "What are you talking about?" Bubble Bass says: "Squidward KIND of has a point! You just LITERALLY made what could be the STUPIDEST move in the HISTORY of this show! You gave away the chance to get a Pendant of Life for yourself! Do you HONESTLY think you can find one during the NEXT challenge?" Spongebob says: "That's a chance I'm willing to take! I truly believe that if you give out good karma, you will GET good karma in return!" Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "For your sake, I hope you're right!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I'm not saying I'm going to vote off Spongebob, I probably won't. But even if I don't, that won't stop everyone else from doing so! He's the most popular character on this show! Of COURSE they'll vote him off the first chance they get! I just hope I truly CAN avenge him! I owe at least THAT much to him!" / Bubble Bass says: "The next challenge will TRULY be a test of Spongebob's resolve! I certainly hope he wins the next challenge or FINDS an Immunity Pendant, because if he doesn't, I'm not sure if Spongebob's heart can take it!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, looks like Tigress benching herself didn't really help you. That being said, she DOES have an Immunity Pendant, and she might just use it! And Silver Snakes, your inability to work together has doomed your efforts yet again! BOTH of you will be eliminating one contestant on your team, when I see BOTH of your teams, at the Elimination Ceremony tonight!" And Aang has a devious look in his eyes! (Confessional) Aang jerks, and gains Master Coelaceanth's garb again! Master Coelaceanth's voice says: "It's about time! It was getting HOT in there! How very like Tigress! She thinks she can take the QUICK path to get rid of me! It might have worked once, but it's NOT going to work again! I might not be able to eliminate Tigress THIS time, but I can FORCE her to use that Pendant of Life! She won't be able to get one AGAIN for another two challenges!" / Bulma says: "There's no doubt in my mind that Tigress, and Aang/Master Coelaceanth will try to target each other, and since NOBODY else wants Aang to stick around, I'm sure most of the other contestants will try to vote him off to! However, I SAW the devious look in Aang's eyes! Something is off! I'm telling Sandy to vote someone inconsequential like Kaput and Johnny Krill, and we'll let the others take the FALL for the aftermath of the Eliminations!" (End Confessional) The Red Jaguars and the Silver Snakes are at the Elimination Ceremony! Sniz says: "Red Jaguars, welcome to your first time here! I'm honestly a little surprised! Silver Snakes, not so much! I thought you would have learned your lesson from the LAST time!" Taotie says: "That's what I thought, but apparently, no one ever LISTENS to me!" Sniz says: "In any case, you will take the voting devices, make your selections than insert a Miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once the Votes are tallied, but before I reveal the safe contestants, whoever has an Immunity Pendant of Life, must present it in order to receive immunity from any votes! Otherwise, whichever two contestants have the most votes, must board the Mine Cart of Shame, and go through the Mine Shaft of Losers! That means that you're out of the contest, and you can never come back again, EVER! With that being said, VOTE!!!!" And the contestants make quick work on who they want to vote off! Sniz says: "Voting over, so it's time to..." Aang says: "Not so fast! I HAVE the Silver Snakes Immunity Pendant, and I WILL be playing it on MYSELF!!!!" Haggis screams: "Oh, NO!!!!" Sniz says: "The Pendant of Life is real, so all votes cast for Aang will not count! Now..." Tigress says: "Hold it! Aang isn't the ONLY one who had a Pendant of Life! I'm playing mine on myself!" Sandy says: "It's a good thing cats have nine lives! Tigress might need all the chances she can get!" Sniz says: "This Pendant of Life is also real, that means all votes cast for Tigress, will not count! Now, it's time to reveal the safe contestants who will receive Chocolate Pendants of Life! Obviously, Aang. Daggett, Otto, Sandy, Judy, Gerald, Haggis, Pearl, Zim, Larry, Kitty, Snaptrap, Heffer, Buhdeuce, Blonda, Taotie. Obviously, Tigress. Jenny!" Bulma, Kaput, and Johnny Krill, all tense up, as they are the only three left! Sniz says: "Contestants, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life this evening!" Kaput looks angrily at everyone, Johnny is relaxed, as if convinced that he WON'T be leaving, while Bulma just sweats profusely! Sniz says: "And the Pendant goes to, BULMA!!!!" Bulma jumps up and says: "YES!!!!" And she hugs the contestant closest to her, only to realize that it's Johnny Krill! Bulma says: "Oops! I am SO sorry, Johnny!" Sandy says: "I'm sorry to. I didn't want to eliminate you, not like this! I wanted to actually compete against you!" Johnny says: "I'm not upset! It's actually quite impressive! I mean, it took TWO whole Pendants of Life JUST to eliminate me! How many other contestants can say that, BESIDES Kaput?!" Kaput says: "I don't understand! I thought I was doing good!" Kitty says: "Well, that may be, but you've got a LONG way to go, before you actually get there! Get some experience in the real world, before you make another commitment like that!" Sniz says: "The teams have spoken, and your bags are packed!" Sniz gives Kaput a helmet, since Johnny Krill is already wearing one! And they get in the Mine Cart, and buckle their seat belts! Sniz says: "Are you ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine Cart blasts down the rail track, and through the mysterious Mine Shaft Portal! Sniz says: "And just like that, two more contestants are gone! Things are sure to get more intense, now that Master Coelaceanth is inhabiting Aang's body! Everyone will have to be on their guard! And while I legally can't endorse the elimination of a contestant, I can certainly hope and be excited for a potential one! In any case, see which teams will prevail, on the next exciting episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Thank you for being a part of this exciting adventure!" / Stinger: Kaput and Johnny Krill blast through the portal, and the other end of the portal, dumps them out RIGHT into the middle of the skate park at Ocean Shores, California! Twister says: "What the?! Where did YOU two come from?!" Johnny says: "Would you believe that we came from Total Cartoon Legends?" Reggie says: "I would. They actually wanted ME on there; and Otto only got to come, because I said; 'No, I already WON a season, there's no where to go but down'." Twister says: "Well, while we wait for Otto, we're practicing mad skills on these half-pipes and stuff! Would you like to practice with us?" Kaput asks: "Would we be doing good?" Reggie says: "With my help, you can be some of the BEST, good athletes, that Ocean Shores has ever seen!" Kaput says: "In that case, hand me a skateboard, and I'll become one of the best!" Johnny says: "You're already half-way there, in my books!" / Episode Notes: It is revealed that Master Coelaceanth's soul is STILL alive! Initially in Tigress' body, it is now currently in Aang's body. Squidward FINALLY realizes that his Irrational hatred of Spongebob, may stem from how his father raised him. Immunity Pendants of Life introduced, and Aang and Tigress both play one. Featured songs in this episode, The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes", and Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". Kaput and Johnny Krill become the FIRST two contestants that needed TWO Pendants Of Life played in order to be eliminated! Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. 42. Kaput. 41. Johnny Krill. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. / Personal Notes: I'll admit, I WAS a little tempted to make Tigress go through a similar scenario of what Mike went through in "Total Drama All-Stars", but after reviewing the mess THAT season was, I was like, "No, no, I can't do THAT again." So, I decided to shake up the formula, by having Tigress find a way to get rid of Master Coelaceanth early, only to wind up with ANOTHER problem; mainly that Master Coelaceanth is now inhabiting Aang's body! And while this is a deviation, I highly consider ANY deviation from "Total Drama All-Stars" a good thing! The less I can copy that season, the better! As for Johnny Krill and Kaput, while they definitely both have good strengths as far as contestants go, I needed two unexpected contestants to unexpectedly be eliminated, due to Tigress and Aang trying to fire against each other, and Johnny Krill and Kaput just happened to be the contestants who got caught in the cross-fire! So, needless to say, it's anyone's guess as to who will be eliminated next! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!
  14. Final re-run for the night; it's time for the first episode of "Total Cartoon Legends!" I hope you'll enjoy it! / The episode opens up in the middle of a large studio room, not seen since the mid 1990's! Sniz says: "Welcome to the mid-season premiere of Total Cartoon Legends! You may remember at the end of Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, after Bubble Bass won and I flew everyone except Fondue to an exclusive party in Malibu, California, Gordon Quid called the cops on my brother Fondue, and rattled off the laundry list of crimes he had committed during that season! So, while General Barracuda and I have to wait for Fondue to finish his mandatory court-ordered community service, we got a brand new co-host, in the form of Toltec/Mayan/Aztec Temple guardian, Olmec! The face of the temple comes to life, and Olmec says: "Greetings, Sniz. It is good to be functional again." Sniz says: "Truth be told, the studio WANTED to get Kirk Fogg back here, but he was TOO expensive, so they brought me back instead! In addition to filming on the actual lot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, California, there will be a unique twist this season! Mainly, for the first time ever, we will have FOUR teams! And not only will they have to compete against each other, sometimes they will have to cooperate WITH each other, in order to prevent one of their own, from taking the brand new Mine Cart of Shame as elimination! There will be no shortage of surprises this time around, so it's time to get to finding out what they will be, on Total Cartoon Legends! / During the show intro, while Smash Mouth's "All Star" plays, the action that happens during the song, is that Sniz walks out of his trailer, breathing in fresh California air. He first walks to Bubble Bass cuddling with Blonda and their new, purple fish baby, only for all THREE of them to make their finger and their thumb into a shape of an "L" on their foreheads. The action zooms to the Temple Moat, where Private and Kowalski are swimming, only to be quickly fished out by Kitty Katswell, who is disappointed by what she has fished out, and promptly discards them with a mighty swish into the air. They land on Tigress, who throws them to the side, and she sees Aang running, and she immediately starts running after him, initiating a race. The action shifts to the Steps Of Knowledge, where Judy Funny climbs up the steps, only to be greeted by a smiling Zarbon, who is flustered when Wally and Darwin swing in and land on him. Otto laughs at the situation, only to be met with a disapproving look by Haggis McHaggis. The action shifts into the Temple, where Squidward gets grabbed by a Temple Guard, while Spongebob finds a Pendant of Life. The action shifts to the cafeteria, where General Barracuda is SURPRISED that Dog, Heffer Wolfe, Buhdeuce, Monster Krumholtz, Taotie, Gonard, and Po, can't get ENOUGH of what he's cooking! The action shifts to Bulma looking at a camera monitor looking at that action, looking completely BORED by it, so she INTENTIONALLY pushes a button, and the camera SWITCHES to a gigantic explosion! It switches to Verminious J. Snaptrap in the middle of the explosion, Dudley Puppy and Chameleon rushing into wave hi. Snaptraps pulls out a blaster, only for Chameleon to transform into an even BIGGER one, and allows Dudley to grab him as the blaster, and chase Snaptrap away! While they're chasing Snaptrap away, Super Chum can be seen flying overhead, and decides to follow their action. As they leave the screen, a green limo pulls up, revealing Harvey Beaks and Fee inside. A line-up of various other contestants in their official team uniforms are seen; namely, Sandy, Stimpy, Gerald, Pearl, Zim, Marlene, Larry, Sway-Sway, Keswick, Kaput, Johnny Krill, Jenny Wakeman, and Yakety Yak, all ready to race the moat, while Sniz and Olmec watch on. The action shifts to the Performance Review Studio, where Treeflower decides to kiss Norbert, only for Daggett to fall in-between them on the couch. The camera pans out to reveal the entire competing cast surrounding them, and the show title "Total Cartoon Legends" Created by Jason Cantu, as the show intro ends. / Smash Mouth sings: "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. It's a cool place and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ, judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. (Instrumental Break) Hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play! Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars. Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming! Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running! Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. (GO!) You'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid! And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold. And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mold!" / And the epic song ends! / "The Legend Of The Promethius Torch!" / Sniz says: "Okay, it's time to reveal our contestants this season! With only TWO exceptions, all of them will be returning contestants from a previous season and/or seasons! Let's welcome our first contestant, Daggett Beaver! Daggett runs in, and he says: "Wow! I can't believe you introduced me FIRST! This has never HAPPENED to me before! Usually, I'm not introduced anything until late or LAST! This might be the trend of something new and great!" General Barracuda says: "For YOUR sake, let's hope so!" Daggett looks incensed, but he shakes his head, and says: "Thanks to coaching from my older brother Norbert, I know you only SAID that to get under my skin, but it's NOT going to work THIS season!" General Barracuda says: "Can't blame a guy for trying!" Sniz says: "Technically, he COULD! But let's not get into that, now! Our next contestant is returning athlete, Otto Rocket!" Otto skateboards in, looking cool and unconcerned. General Barracuda says: "Listen to me VERY carefully, Otto! I don't want you doing ANYTHING dangerous, deadly, dumb, disastrous, drastic, or dreary in your misguided attempts to try to impress your fans!" Otto says: "Come ON! Who do you think I am?! Rhetorical question, by the way! I'm not going to do anything immoral or illegal! I'm a MARRIED man, now! Suzie would metaphorically KILL me if I did anything that would upset her!" General Barracuda says: "Well, now I know who wears the pants in YOUR family!" Otto face-palms himself, and he says: "That is SO out-dated and SO sexist, it doesn't even warrant a PROPER response from yours truly!" General Barracuda says: "Hey, I'm a big, scary army guy! I don't think anybody's going to send any complaints to yours TRULY!" Sniz says: "Well, let's not test THAT theory! Our next contestants are, Sandy Cheeks, and Stimpy J. Cat!" Sandy Cheeks walks in normally, but Stimpy TRIES to walk in all spy-like, failing because he fails to account for his body frame and the lack of objects that could realistically HIDE his body frame! Sandy says: "Stimpy, what are you up to?" Stimpy says: "Not so loud! I'm trying to be incognito! I DON'T want my EX boyfriend/ husband Ren to know that I'm here!" Sniz says: "That won't be necessary! REN'S jail doesn't GET our channel!" General Barracuda says: "To specify, they get cable, but they only get one channel, The Oprah Winfrey Network!" Stimpy says: "Why is THAT a bad thing?! A lot of people LIKE Oprah Winfrey!" General Barracuda says: "Has anybody YOU know who WORKED on ANY Nickelodeon Show EVER appeared on one of HER shows?" Stimpy says: "Not that I know of!" General Barracuda says: "She doesn't like US!" Sniz says: "Your words, not mine! Our next contestant is, Aang the Avatar!" Aang uses his air-bending powers to blow his way in! Sniz says: "It's good to see you again, Aang! I can't WAIT to see what crazy, RAGE filled antics you'll provide us with THIS time!" Aang says: "How many times do I have to REPEAT this?! That was mostly MESOGOG'S doing! I was freaking HIJACKED in my own body! Besides, I'm not BITTER about that live-action movie anymore, and I'm NOT going to irrationally freak out! I'm ABOVE all that, now!" General Barracuda says: "We thought you MIGHT say that, which is why we brought a little insurance in the terms of our next contestants, Tigress and Po!" Tigress leaps in with her USUAL tiger grace, while Po is panting, struggling to catch up! Tigress taunts: "Hey, BARBIE GIRL, EMBARRASSINGLY dance to any STUPID pop hits lately?! Spend MULTIPLE MILLIONS of dollars on a live-action movie project that critically TANKED?! FAIL to get the BETTER of the Boom Vets even though they were all full of LOSERS unqualified to beat YOU in a race?! Fail to start a fire when a freaking WHALE who LIVES underwater managed to start it BETTER than you?! Hey, AvaTURD; DUH!!!!" Aang's emotions LITERALLY turn his face red, and he exclaims: "This...is...HAPPENING!!!!" He blasts fire-bending all over the place, prompting Wanda to fly in to quickly zap them before they can hit anything! Aang continues screaming: "HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!! HAPPENING!!!!" And Wanda dumps a bucket of cold water onto Aang, drenching him, and calming him down! Aang says: "This isn't OVER! I'll make you pay with one of your nine LIVES for this!" Po FINALLY catches up with Tigress, and Po pants, and says: "He has a point, Tigress! You KNOW one of your nine lives is going to go to HELL for this!" Tigress says: "Probably, BUT WORTH IT!!!!" (Confessional) Tigress is in a Tiki Room Confessional, and she says: "YES!!!! I'm the FIRST to use the brand new Confessional for this season! Now, WHY did I antagonize Aang like that? First, General Barracuda paid me $20 to rile up Aang in order to make him more INTERESTING this season! Secondly, I HAD to rile him up! HELLO! I already KNOW that SPONGEBOB is going to be a contestant this season, and unless I riled AANG up to be interesting, I would be STUCK competing against 43 LOSERS!!!! Because we ALL know that NOBODY has what it takes to be an actual threat to me; an angry Aang is the ONLY thing that comes even REMOTELY close to being an ACTUAL challenge! And no challenge equals no excitement for me! At least I'll be able to have some FUN for a FEW episodes, because everybody else is going to be a total NON issue for me, ESPECIALLY that USELESS Spongebob Squarepants!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Barring anymore freak-outs, our next contestants are, Bubble Bass, and Blonda!" Bubble Bass walks in normally, while Blonda is shown carrying a brand new, purple fish baby! General Barracuda says: "Hold it! Blonda, what did YOUR contract say about bringing in a BABY?! You can't compete with a baby; they're too young and innocent!" Stimpy says: "Even I know that!" Blonda says: "Well, I figured you MIGHT make at least ONE exception, seeing as how THIS just happens to be YOUR grandchild! I call him Rube Goldfish!" Daggett says: "SAY, is that the SAME Rube Goldfish who sometimes randomly pops in and out of Spongebob Squarepants and The Patrick Star Show?" Bubble Bass says: "Possibly. I mean, he IS half-magic on Blonda's side of the family, so it's possible that he has harnessed his abilities in the future, and has come to the past. I don't know why, obviously, because I'm not there yet." General Barracuda says: "Well, if he's MY grandson, why doesn't he HAVE either MY last name or my son's last name?!" Blonda scoffs, and she says: "Like I'd let him KNOW that Bubble Bass was the ONLY guy who was willing to have a child WITH me, and that YOU'RE his Grandfather! No offense, Bubble Bass!" Bubble Bass is actually puzzled, and says: "None taken?" Blonda says: "And while I do appreciate the fact that Bubble Bass was able to win a season of this show, I don't want what basically amounts to a nudist, living around OUR son! Not until he's old enough and mature enough to decide for himself what he wants to be." General Barracuda shrugs, and he says: "Fair enough, but in any case, he can't be around on the set, there's too much going on." Stimpy says: "Don't worry about it, I already thought ahead, and I asked Phil Deville, Lil's brother, to babysit for us! That way, Blonda and Bubble Bass can compete without worry!" / The scene Gilligan Cuts to Phil in a hotel room, taking care of Rube, and Phil says: "It's a living!" / The scene cuts back to the studio, and Sniz says: "And now, because we wanted 44 contestants, we needed two NEW contestants to round out the roster! So, our first of new contestants, Spongebob Squarepants very own, Squidward Tentacles!" Squidward runs out and says: "Thank you! Thank you!" But all he HEARS are the sounds of crickets chirping! Squidward sarcastically says: "VERY funny! Let's all LAUGH at the octopus!" Sniz says: "And now, a paragon of perpetual youthful, idealistic energy, a bundle of unbridled enthusiasm, a fry-cook among legends, everyone's favorite cartoon personality, Spongebob Squarepants!" And Spongebob walks into THUNDEROUS applause! Spongebob blushes, and he says: "Oh, please! I'm SO unimportant!" Squidward says: "The NERVE! To step into MY applause! Trying to upstage me, as if THAT were humanly possible!" Spongebob DRAMATICALLY misses Squidward's point, and Spongebob asks: "How CAN it be humanly possible? NEITHER of us are humans!" Squidward angrily says: "YOU'RE DESPICABLE! I HATE YOU!!!!" Spongebob says: "Whenever you say, 'I hate you', I know it REALLY means 'I love you'!" Squidward says: "I...DOH!!!!" And Squidward REALIZES what Spongebob ALMOST made him do, and Squidward says: "Curse you muscle memory!" Sniz says: "And now, back by POPULAR demand from season three, the Anime superstars themselves, Zarbon and Bulma Briefs!" And they walk into thunderous applause! Aang says: "I think I must have MISSED something! Are THEY actual Nicktoons?!" Sandy says: "By that logic, are Judy Funny, Marlene Otter, Kaput, Taotie, Tigress, Gonard, Po, Wally, Kowalski, Private, and Yakety Yak actual Nicktoons?" Aang says: "I'm surprised that I can't actually refute that." Zarbon asks: "You're NOT going to try to pull any scams THIS season, are you Bulma?!" Bulma scoffs, and she says: "You underestimate me! There's no WAY I'm pulling a repeat of the LAST time I was here! I'm fully aware on how THAT turned out! Instead, I'm going to try to play as fair of a game as I can, and see how far I can get!" Zarbon humorously chuckles, and he says: "I'll believe THAT when I see it!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "What Zarbon doesn't realize, is that I'm officially married, and a mother now. And when you have a child, it really helps to put things in perspective. What you thought was absolutely important to you when you were younger, turns out to not really be so important to you when you have a one year old baby boy who is absolutely dependent on you! And...it's been tough ever since Goku sacrificed his life to stop Cell from destroying our planet. But I've got to do my best to raise a child! And when my son Trunks, is old enough, I'll have Vegeta train him to be a good hero WORTHY of protecting our planet!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "And now, the two youngest, but by no means the least competitive contestants this season, two childhood sweethearts, Harvey Beaks and Fee!" Harvey Beaks and Fee walk out to thunderous applause! Fee says: "You hear that, Harvey?! They LIKE us! They REALLY like us!" Harvey says: "It's hard NOT to like us Fee, I'd like to think that we're very likable!" Sniz says: "I certainly think so! And our next contestant, who has had her share of up's and down's, a beaver diva, Treeflower Fields!" Treeflower walks into scattered applause. Treeflower says: "Well, at least it's not as bad as SQUIDWARD'S reception!" Squidward asks: "Is that a dig against ME?!" Treeflower says: "Don't take it PERSONALLY! I was simply stating a simple fact! You can't hate me for stating the facts!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I can think of a whole GROUP of people who could HATE her for stating the facts, but the network executives won't LET me mention them by name!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "And our next contestant, everyone's favorite dramatist and aspiring actress, give it up for Judy Funny!" Judy walks onto the stage, all melodramatically, while her theme music plays! Judy says: "Everyone's favorite actress walks onto the stage. Alone without her boyfriend, and without ANY of her fellow cast-mates! But, despite the ENORMOUS odds, this heroic heart-throb will SMITE all opposition to her crusade, and CRASH it down into the roaring waves! Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow! End scene!" And while the audience applauds her, everyone else just looks at her weirdly! (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Lil Deville, I think it's safe to say that you've just been REPLACED in terms of winning the CRAZY award! Mostly, because you're NOT competing this season, but STILL!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay...getting away from...whatever THAT was, our next contestants are LITERALLY birds of a feather, who fly together in a rocket van, give it up for Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce! And they jump into THUNDEROUS applause! Squidward says: "Oh, COME ON!!!! How can THEY get more applause than ME?!!!" Sway-Sway says: "Well, maybe if you weren't such a colossal HATE butt all the time, people would LIKE you more!" Buhdeuce says: "Yeah, you know what they say! You can attract MORE flies with HONEY than you can with vinegar!" Squidward says: "You can also attract more flies with HORSE POOP than you can with vinegar! What's your point?!" Sway-Sway's smile drops, and he says: "You know, we WERE willing to try to help you this season, but now you can just FORGET it!" Squidward says: "Oh, so now you're abandoning me, just like my mother and FATHER did?!" Buhdeuce says: "Don't blame us! It's YOUR lousy attitude that turned us OFF from you!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Come ON! 'Lousy attitude', my four FEET! I'll have YOU know, that I know, that it's never MY fault if people don't like me! I DON'T have an ATTITUDE problem! People have a problem with MY attitude!" / Sway-Sway shakes his head, and he says: "Mark my words, that octopus is heading for trouble one of these days if he doesn't get his act together!" Buhdeuce pops in, and says: "I have NEVER met a guy, more in denial than HE is in, and THAT'S saying something!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, our next contestant is MOSTLY here, due to the fact that he was UNFAIRLY eliminated the last time he was here; a vile villain and a LOATHESOME low-life, Verminious J. Snaptrap!" Snaptrap walks in, only to hear LOUD boos from the stage, and Snaptrap says: "Ah, 'BOO' yourselves! Like I'm TRYING to win a popularity contest! I'm certainly not going to ask for YOUR opinion! The only reason I'm EVEN here, is because Angelica Pickles can't compete, so I'm filling in for her!" Zarbon says: "Snaptrap, I know what you're thinking, and FORGET it! There's no WAY they are going to let YOU cheat on this season! And you're foolish to think that you can get away with it!" Snaptrap says: "Oh, I won't be cheating! But I wouldn't be surprised if some OTHER unlucky contestants find THEIR hands all grimy and dirty from any 'ACCIDENTS' that might happen this season!" Tigress instantly runs up to Snaptrap, and she threateningly says: "Listen up CLOSELY, you little PUNK, and listen WELL; you will not TOUCH any other contestant without MY say so! FURTHERMORE, don't get ANY funny ideas about TRYING to eliminate ME! I am GOING to be WINNING this season; and NOTHING, NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!! So just STAY out of my way, ESPECIALLY, if you WANT to keep your tail!" And Snaptrap just gulps nervously! Treeflower says: "Okay, somebody SERIOUSLY didn't get hugged enough as a child! Uh...Stimpy, YOU hug her!" Stimpy says: "WHAT?! Why ME?!" Fee says: "Because WE don't want to get KILLED!" (Confessional) Fee says: "I know that Tigress isn't ALLOWED to kill us! And if she keeps her RATIONAL thought pattern in check, she won't even THINK about trying to kill us! That being said, if there's ANYTHING I've learned from watching re-runs of these episodes, is that evil contestants have a way of finding things that are SO much worse than DEATH!" / Snaptrap mutters, and he says: "Oh, why does some goody-goody good-doer like Tigress always have to ruin MY fun?!" / Harvey says: "I think that the reason Tigress likes to ruin Snaptrap's fun, is because he's a HATE SINK, and NOBODY likes a Hate Sink! And if he's GOING to be a Hate Sink, he's going to do it ALONE, and I mean ALONE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of 'Alone', our next contestant certainly likes to ACT alone; it's everyone's favorite saboteur, Kaput!" And Kaput zooms in on a jet-pack, but nobody applauds him! Bulma rolls her eyes, and sarcastically says: "Oh goody, it's General Mayhem with a side of CRAZY!" Kaput says: "I'd be more worried about YOU and Blonda, you BACKSTABBING excuses for TRAITORS! Both of you UNFAIRLY got me kicked OFF!" Blonda scoffs, and she says: "UNFAIRLY?! HEY! I'm NOT the one who SABOTAGED everyone's athletic event for Team Sniz Is Really, Really, Really, Cool! That was all YOUR doing!" Kaput says: "Maybe so. But bringing Emperor Mavro BACK from the dead! Threatening EVERYBODY with HIS wrath just because YOU couldn't win Total Cartoon Global Cruise? That WASN'T exactly noble, you know!" Blonda says: "Don't you EVER lecture me!" Kaput says: "Too late, I already did!" (Confessional) Bulma says: "Well, so much for trying to stay out of EVERYONE'S way THIS season! With Kaput on-board, that guy is going to DIRECTLY try to target ME and Blonda; and anyone else he thinks is responsible for HIS elimination! I don't exactly LIKE the idea, but it looks like I'll HAVE to make ANOTHER alliance this season. If not for my OWN safety, than for anyone ELSE I get partnered with!" / Blonda says: "Kaput is SO lucky that I'm NOT allowed to use magic as long as I'm a contestant! But magic or NO magic, he is NOT going to get the BETTER of me! He is going DOWN! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOMEDAY! And than, for the REST of the season!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of season, it's time to introduce our SECOND new contestant for this season! From the show of the same name, here is Yakety Yak!" And Yakety floats in ala "Mary Poppins" with an umbrella, and everyone loudly cheers him! Yakety says: "Thank you! It's so good to finally be here! I don't know WHY it took me so long to get here; maybe it's because my ARMS had to do all the flapping, and BOY, are they tired!" And everyone in the audience LAUGHS at that joke! Squidward says: "They laugh at THAT excuse for a joke?! That yak couldn't even call his DOG, and make it a BELIEVABLE performance!" Yakety says: "Come on! There's no need to be sour! If you want, I can teach you to be a GREAT comedian, the way I am! I'll even start you off with an EASY one! Knock-knock!" Squidward says: "Go away!" Yakety says: "Come on! You could at least PRETEND to be interested!" (Confessional) Yakety says: "I don't know WHAT that octopus' problem is! You would THINK that as miserable as HE claims to be, he'd be TRYING to get everyone he CAN to be friends with him! I'm curious to know, why is he SO against trying to make any friends?" / Squidward says: "You want to know WHY I'm against making friends? Here's a hint; he's about four feet tall, has no hair...that I KNOW of, and he's the most ANNOYING guy on the face of the planet?" (Camera briefly cuts) Squidward says: "No! It's NOT Coconut Fred from Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island! I'm talking about Spongebob Squarepants! That yellow NIMROD has the STUPID capacity for SOMEHOW making friends WHEREVER he goes! And ANYONE who meets Spongebob and becomes friends with him, AUTOMATICALLY make it impossible for ME to be friends with them, because I'm NOT going to catch SPONGEBOB'S STUPID!!!!" / Treeflower says: "I guess what that meme said IS true: You either DIE a Spongebob, or you live LONG enough to become a Squidward! I SURE hope I NEVER become a Squidward again! That was the WORST time of my LIFE!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Our next contestants, are two of the four penguins from The Penguins Of Madagascar! Give it up for Kowalski and Private!" Kowalski and Private zoom into scattered applause! Private says: "That's strange! The applause for us seems a little lighter for us THIS season, compared to previous seasons!" General Barracuda says: "It's because the studio has BANNED overtly sexist people from attending this studio! That's PROBABLY the reason why!" Kowalski says: "Than why are YOU still here?" General Barracuda says: "Simple. I'm an ACTUAL General, with Diplomatic Immunity, so like MC Hammer once sang, you CAN'T touch this!" Daggett says: "I wouldn't want to anyway, and I've had to touch some pretty gross stuff on MY show!" (Confessional) Private says: "Kowalski, if there aren't as many people to support us, do you think we STILL have a chance to WIN this season?" Kowalski says: "I think we have MORE of a chance this season! I mean, do we really want SEXIST people to be OUR supporters? They're NOT our target audience anyways! And the reason we have MORE of a chance, is because we WANT it more!" Private says: "Do you really think that?" Kowalski says: "Well, we're going to have to actually compete to prove the theory, but I've always WANTED to do a field experiment, studio environment not withstanding." Private says: "Hooray for experiments!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of experiments, our next contestant has experienced an experiment gone wrong, and NOW sounds like he has a different voice. But he's STILL determined to give it his all, so give it up for Taotie!" Taotie walks in to scattered applause, and Tigress scoffs, and she says: "Please! I know Taotie inside and out! He won't sound THAT different!" Taotie speaks with a voice that NOW sounds like it's Patrick Warburton's voice, and he says: "Hey, that's what YOU think! I built an experimental translation collar, so I could say pick-up lines in French. But during the course of the experiment, the electricity malfunctioned, causing a change in my larynx, and therefore my voice. Of course, I DO think this voice sounds a LOT better, and NOT on the verge of death! Besides, I have been THINKING more rationally since the experiment! I'll see if I can't win by playing more fairly this time around!" Tigress asks: "Know of any FAIRS where you can PLAY, though?" Taotie mock laughs, and says: "Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it IS to laugh!" (Confessional) Taotie says: "Even WITH this new voice, Tigress STILL doesn't take me seriously! It's a little insulting, if I'm being perfectly honest!" / Tigress says: "The day Taotie becomes an ACTUAL threat, is the day I take him seriously! And we all know THAT'S never going to happen, so I don't, and I won't!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of serious, our next contestant is a seriously cool dude, who has come back, so he can write a BOOK on being cool; give it up for Gerald!" Gerald walks into thunderous applause, and he says: "And Rhonda, if you're watching this show, call me! I'm TOTALLY available!" Squidward asks: "And what makes YOU the expert on being cool?" Gerald says: "Easy! I've got a cool walk! I wear cool clothes! I've got a SMOOTH personality! And I can really KICK...well, you get the idea!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "PLEASE Neptune, let GERALD be on MY team! He's the FIRST contestant I've seen who I think I could ACTUALLY tolerate!" / Gerald says: "So far, the only plan I have is to NOT be on Aang's team THIS season! I was on one the LAST time I played here, and boy, did I regret it! If I can steer away from being around any CRAZY contestants, I think I'll be okay!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Speaking of contestants, our next contestant is the oldest, except for Blonda, that we've EVER had! Why, he's been around for years and years and YEARS and--!" Aang shouts: "Get on with it!" Daggett shouts: "Get on with it!" Treeflower shouts: "Get on with it!" Otto shouts: "Get on with it!" Sandy shouts: "Get on with it!" Sniz asks: "Can't ANYBODY take a JOKE anymore?" Olmec shouts: "Get on with it!" Sniz rolls his eyes and says: "Fine! Haggis McHaggis!" Haggis walks in, carrying his shellaighlee, and Haggis says: "It's so GOOD to be back in Hollywood again! I can already taste the accolades!" Treeflower says: "If you DARE punch me again, I'll NEVER forgive you!" Haggis says: "That wasn't COMPLETELY my fault, I was TRICKED by Kaput!" Kaput scoffs, and he says: "They ALWAYS blame ME! 'My fists did what they wanted, blah, blah, blah, I'm old, blah, blah, blah, I'm a lying hypocrite'!" Haggis says: "At least I will ADMIT to actually MAKING a mistake, unlike YOU!" Taotie says: "Ooh, he's got you THERE, Kaput!" Kaput scoffs, and he says: "I would STILL hate to be HIM, though!" (Confessional) Kaput says: "To paraphrase a hit song that The Who once sang, I hope I DIE before I get THAT old!" / Haggis says: "In a weird way, it's actually astounding how MY age NEVER seems to get OLD as a JOKE to them! I'm not sure whether I should be flattered, or consider that insulting! I guess I'll split the difference and eat a haggis sandwich!" And Haggis proceeds to do just that! (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Our next contestant really NEEDS no introduction, but I'll give it to her anyways! A massive flirt, and a BIG help to us during Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back, give it up for Marlene Otter!" And as Marlene walks in, Janet Jackson's hit song "If" plays, and Marlene lip-syncs along to it! Janet sings: "Sittin' over here, starin' in your face with lust in my eyes, sure don't give a damn. And ya don't know that I've been dreamin' of ya in my fantasy. Never once you looked at me. Don't even realize that I'm wantin' you to fulfill my needs. Think what you want, let your mind free. Run free to a place no one dares to. How many nights I've laid in bed excited over you? I've closed my eyes and thought of us a hundred different ways. I've gotten there so many times. I wonder; how 'bout you? Day and night, night and day, all I've got to say is if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but; if I was your girl. Allow me some time to play with your mind and you'll get there again and again. Close your eyes and imagine my body undressed; take your time, 'cause we've got all night, ooh. You on the rise as you're touchin' my thighs. And let me know what you like, if you like I'll go down, down, down, down, da, down, down. I'll hold you in my hand and maybe, you're smooth and shiny, feels so good against my lips, sugar. I want you so bad, I can taste your love right now, baby. Day and night, night and day, all I've got to say is, if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but; if I was your girl. (Instrumental Break) I've laid in bed excited over you; one hundred different ways. I've thought of many, many days and nights, nights and days, and all I want to say is if I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you. I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you. But I'm not, so I can't, and I won't, but if I was your girl. If I was your girl, oh, the things I'd do to you! I'd make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to! If I was your woman, the things I'd do to you! But I'm not!" / And the epic song and dance sequence ends as everyone applauds loudly! Squidward says: "HEY! How come SHE got to enter in with a BIG production number?!" Marlene says: "Because I paid the cover charge for Janet Jackson to allow that song to be used on this show! Not to mention, she gets sweet, SWEET royalties every time this episode will be played...at least until 2088 when the song enters into the public domain!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Oh, she is GOOD! Really good! I really hope she's on MY team this season!" / Marlene rolls her eyes, and says: "I REALLY hope I'm NOT on Squidward's team this season! First of all, I have no idea how he will fare as a contestant! Secondly, I can't afford to play the 'Flirt Card' as a married woman anymore! That would be a double standard and an insult to Skipper! It won't be easy, but I'll simply have to rely on my skills and natural friendships if I want to at least make it to the Final Five! Only THAN, will I make plans for what happens after that!" (End Confessional) Sniz looks at his watch, and he says: "WOAH! I didn't realize we've spent THAT much time already! We really don't have time to introduce the rest separately, so, it's time for all the other contestants to come out! Pearl, Darwin, Zim, Larry, Dog, Kitty, Super Chum, Keswick, Heffer, Monster, Gonard, Wally, Dudley, Chameleon, Johnny Krill, and Jenny Wakeman!" Bubble Bass says: "Wally! You DID make the cut! I hope we get to be on the same team this season!" Wally says: "I sure hope so to! But even if we have to compete against each other, I don't want you to hold anything back! I expect you to compete with everything you've got!" Bubble Bass says: "Duly noted." Squidward asks: "Why are you friends with HIM?! You KNOW he's got to have CAUGHT some of Spongebob's STUPID!" Sandy says: "First of all, stupidity isn't a DISEASE, it can only be SPREAD like one!" Bubble Bass says: "And secondly, unlike you, I used to be a lot LIKE you! I used to judge others PURELY on their outer appearance and what I thought of them! The difference is, I grew up and grew OUT of it! When will YOU?!" (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Someone had to set the record straight for Squidward! And if I didn't, who would?!" / Squidward rhetorically asks: "ME?! NOT grown up?" Laughs crazily, than he seriously says: "I'll tell you who's NOT grown up! Blind, crazy, STUPID guys named Spongebob Squarepants!" / Sandy says: "You know, sometimes I wonder how Squidward managed to get THIS far in life with SO much hatred in his heart!" / Wally says: "I like how Bubble Bass doesn't judge me for my show, or even what I like. He respects me the way I am, and we like each other enough, that we can be friends despite having some differences! NOBODY should be totally alike in every SINGLE way! Can you imagine how BORING and DYSTOPIAN that would be?! Not at ALL an attractive thought in MY way of thinking!" (End Confessional) Pearl says: "Personally, I find it a little insulting that the rest of us were just all lumped together like that!" Darwin says: "Well, Sniz DOES have a schedule to keep, and he doesn't have all day to just talk about us." Kitty says: "It would be nice if SOMEBODY did!" Dudley says: "You know, Kitty, I could talk about you if you WANT me to!" Kitty says: "It's NOT the same thing!" Keswick asks: "How is it NOT the same thing?" (Confessional) Keswick says: "Even after all this time of working with Kitty, I STILL don't completely understand the way she thinks, and I'm not sure if I ever will!" (End Confessional) Zim says: "Give me a lousy introduction if you must! But mark my words; Zim will have his--!" Larry sarcastically says: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know! Eternal vengeance, you'll have your revenge, yadda, yadda, yadda. Could you give it a REST already?!" Zim says: "Vengeance NEVER sleeps!" Super Chum says: "It would be nice if YOU did, once in a while!" (Confessional) Zim asks: "How did Super Chum of ALL contestants, get to come back here?!" / Larry says: "Personally, I don't know how Super Chum got to come back here; but I'd certainly rather be on a team with HIM, than ZIM any day!" (End Confessional) Bulma asks: "Gonard, you're NOT going to try and ask me out on a date AGAIN, are you?!" Gonard says: "No! Of course not! I know you don't really like me in THAT way, anyways!" Bulma says: "Good! Than this will make the REST of our season together a whole lot easier!" (Confessional) Gonard says: "I couldn't go on a date with Bulma anyways. I am in a committed relationship with Lily now! We're mostly doing it for the ratings, but I think she's genuinely starting to warm up to me!" / Bulma says: "At least that's ONE less thing I have to worry about THIS season!" (End Confessional) Heffer says: "Hey! You forgot about ME and Monster!" Johnny Krill says: "So did pretty much the REST of the world if we're being perfectly honest!" Monster says: "Like YOU'RE one to talk! You've only appeared in the ONE episode of Spongebob Squarepants!" Johnny Krill says: "I had LEGITIMATE guest star status! I don't do Spongebob Squarepants for minimum wage, you know!" (Confessional) Heffer says: "Ooh, he's got us THERE!" / Johnny says: "Let's get one thing straight. I intend on playing this game the BEST that I can! And I DON'T intend on having Tigress push me around the way she did LAST season! If she tries to push me, I will push BACK! Let's see how SHE likes it when she has to deal with her OWN attitude being thrown right back her! I know it's not exactly nice, but it's PRECISELY what SHE deserves!" (End Confessional) Chameleon asks: "Dudley, do you think either of us have a chance to make it all the way to the Final Five this season?" Jenny says: "Statistically speaking, I don't think anyone has more of a chance than anyone else...except for Tigress!" Dudley says: "What are you saying?!" Jenny sighs, and she says: "I can't ignore the hard facts! Tigress hits HARD and Fast, she IS hard and fast, she acts on impulse, and she will TOTALLY destroy ANYTHING that gets in her way! You want MY advice? Stay as FAR out of Tigress' way as realistically possible! You'll live a LOT longer that way!" Chameleon says: "What about you? You're a ROBOT!" Jenny says: "Maybe so, but my mom is a genius MECHANIC, NOT a Miracle Worker!" (Confessional) Jenny says: "The one drawback about being a robot, is that I'm DESIGNED to exact specifications, and I'm not meant to exceed them! Tigress can PUSH past her limits, I can't! My best hope, is to HOPE that Tigress does something SO unbelievably heinous and CRAZY, that Sniz can't POSSIBLY ignore it, and eliminate her! Obviously, I don't WANT that to happen, but that's probably what it will take to actually eliminate her! I'm not even sure if everyone BESIDES Spongebob ganging up against Tigress can slow HER down!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay, everyone has met everyone, we're all here together, so it's time to reveal how this season will work! With the exception of two of you, you are on this season because you're the best of the best! Representatives from season 1, season 2, season 3, and season 4A. And we're looking for one of you, just one, to be the best of the best! What will follow are challenges based around those found in Legends of The Hidden Temple, as well as some other surprises. Unlike past seasons, this time there will be FOUR teams involved! Our major reason for doing this, is because we hope that with this structure, ONE team won't CONSTANTLY win challenges and beat all the other teams on a regular basis! To further the odds of that happening, in some challenges, two teams will have to temporarily team up together, to face off against the other two teams, and the team structures during those match-ups will NOT remain constant! So, you're going to have to choose your strategies carefully! Because one challenge, you might be facing off against your enemies; but in the next challenge, you might have to work with them! Of course, there are some contestants who MIGHT not have your best interests at heart! That being said, we will NOT allow any cheating this season! THAT means you, Snaptrap and Kaput!" Snaptrap says: "Oh, SURE! Single US out, why don't you?!" Dog says: "It's hard NOT to! You have BOTH done a LOT of lousy things!" Tigress says: "It doesn't matter if THEY cheat; I'll still be WINNING this season!" Sniz says: "First of all, dial down your CRAZY about...a TRILLION notches! Secondly, you will be divided into FOUR teams, based on your predominate abilities in your previous season and your seasons! The athletic contestants will be on the Red Jaguars, the brainy contestants will be on the Green Monkeys, the evil contestants will be on the Silver Snakes, and EVERYONE else will be on the Blue Barracudas!" This causes Squidward to panic, and he says: "No, NO!!!! I beg of you! DON'T put ME on the same team as Spongebob Squarepants, don't you DO it! Spongebob KNOWS of all the times I've said I hated him in the past, and he will OBVIOUSLY work against me to eliminate me FIRST! I can't be eliminated first; I haven't ACCOMPLISHED anything yet! For the love of Neptune, PLEASE don't put Spongebob on the same team as me!" General Barracuda is HONESTLY surprised by this outburst, and he says: "WOAH! Calm DOWN!!!! We would NEVER subject you to THAT kind of cruel behavior, at least not this early! The team results are as follows: Aang and Daggett are on the Silver Snakes, Treeflower and Spongebob are on the Green Monkeys, Otto and Sandy are on the Red Jaguars, Stimpy is on the Green Monkeys, Judy and Gerald are on the Red Jaguars, Haggis is on the Silver Snakes, Pearl is on the Red Jaguars, Darwin and Wally are on the...well, Green Monkeys." Darwin says: "I am NOT a monkey, I am a chimpanzee!" General Barracuda says: "Call someone who CARES, like Jane Goodall!" Sniz says: "Anyways, Zim is on the Silver Snakes, Marlene and Dog are on the Green Monkeys, Larry is on the Red Jaguars, Kitty and Snaptrap are on the Silver Snakes, Sway-Sway and Harvey are on the Blue Barracudas, Super Chum and Keswick are on the Green Monkeys, Kaput is on the Silver Snakes, Heffer and Buhdeuce are on the Red Jaguars, Monster and Po are on the Green Monkeys, Blonda and Taotie are on the Silver Snakes, Tigress is on the Red Jaguars..." Tigress says: "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" General Barracuda says: "He SAID Red JAGUARS, not red tigers!" Tigress says: "Doesn't matter, I'm STILL going to be WINNING this season!" Daggett says: "You know, constantly SAYING something doesn't mean that it IS true; it just makes people more turned OFF from you!" Treeflower says: "That's surprisingly SMART coming from YOU!" Daggett says: "I had to learn SOMETHING from listening to you and Norbert talk ALL the time!" Treeflower says: "Thank you!" Than she REALIZES the stealth insult that Daggett said, and she retorts: "I take offense to 'ALL the time'!" Daggett says: "Your words, not mine!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "At least Daggett and I AREN'T on the same team this season!" / Daggett says: "I am SO glad that I'm NOT on the same team as Treeflower is THIS season! Although I do have to wonder how I wound up in the Silver Snakes! How am I considered villainous?! I mean, are they REALLY counting all the actions I did during the Performance Reviews of season two?! Because if they are, that's REALLY spooty of them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, Gonard, Dudley, and Zarbon are on the Blue Barracudas, Bulma and Kowalski are on the Silver Snakes, Chameleon and Fee are on the Blue Barracudas, Johnny and Jenny are on the Red Jaguars, Private, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak, and Squidward, are on the Blue Barracudas!" Squidward says: "YES!!!! I'm not on the same team as SPONGEBOB!!!!" And Spongebob quivers, and says: "You're...glad, that you're NOT on the same TEAM as me?" Bubble Bass says: "Spongebob, I WOULD tell you that Squidward didn't MEAN that nasty panic attack he had at the thought of being on the same team as you...but that just wouldn't be true." Spongebob sniffles, and runs off crying: "WAAH!!!!!!!!!" Squidward says: "Cry, cry, cry; that weeping sound, it's DISGUSTING!!!! EVERY single TIME, I can't BELIEVE it! Every single STUPID--why did YOU have to say THAT anyways?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, NO! You DON'T get that! I told him the HONEST truth! You DON'T get to make ME the bad guy in this scenario! This is YOUR fault! If you had just been HONEST with him from the first TIME that you met him, this wouldn't BE happening!" Squidward says: "Well if Spongebob WASN'T so STUPID, he would realize how much I don't LIKE him!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, if Spongebob is SO stupid, than how come HE'S the one who is in the Green Monkeys, and NOT you?!" Squidward stammers, and he says: "Because I...because you...listen to me, YOU! You're not PINNING this on ME! Because if YOU think that I...that you...I hate you SO much right now!" Bubble Bass says: "Like Spongebob said, whenever you say 'I hate you', it means 'I love you'!" Squidward says: "I--DOH!!!! NUTS!!!!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "I hate it when they do that." / Bubble Bass says: "Don't get me wrong; I would LOVE it if Squidward could get his act together and BE part of our team! But when it comes right down to it, he's going to have to pull his own weight. I won't slow myself down just to cover for any of HIS mistakes! If he wants to make it to the Final Five, he's going to HAVE to straighten up!" / Spongebob is still sniffling, and he says: "I still can't BELIEVE Squidward didn't want to be on the same team as me! After all these YEARS of working together at the Krusty Krab, I THOUGHT he would've changed! But no matter how hard I try, he just won't accept MY friendship! Why doesn't he WANT to be FRIENDS with me?! Everybody LIKES me!" / Bubble Bass shakes his head and says: "You know, I don't think even I have the heart to tell him that it's practically IMPOSSIBLE to have a 100% adoration rating, but I don't know if his heart could take that news. He's bound to find out the HARD way, sooner or later. And when he does, I don't think it's going to be pretty." (End Confessional) / (Commercial Break) / The episode cuts back from commercial, and General Barracuda says, welcome back to Total Cartoon Legends, where for once, we DIDN'T take what SEEMED like forever in getting back to the episode!" Sniz says: "You know, there are PROBABLY at least a dozen OTHER celebrities out there who would LOVE to have YOUR job! I heard Mila Kunis is DYING to get out of HER soul-crushing work right now!" General Barracuda says: "Fine! I rescind my last comment! Nobody can take a cruddy JOKE anymore!" Sniz says: "All right! Our contestants are now all suited up, so it's time to explain the rules! Normally, in every episode, Olmec will introduce the legend, that the challenge will be based around. Normally, you will have to swim across the moat, then go down the steps of knowledge! During this two-part challenge, two teams will occasionally have to work together against two other teams. Whichever two teams get down the steps of knowledge first, will have an advantage in completing whatever random challenge we set up, relating to the legend at hand. In the end, only the team that gets the MOST Pendants of Life will get to go into the temple, and retrieve the lost legend. However, since today, we had to introduce everyone and everyone, we are going to have to make this a short challenge, which is just FINE by me! Today, all you have to do is listen to the legend, than I will tell you what challenge you have to do in order to win it! The two teams that win today's challenge, will not only receive immunity, they will get to sleep in a luxurious luxury suite hotel room, for the remainder of the game, while everybody else has to make do with the trailers from Total Cartoon Action! The two teams that lose, will have to simultaneously select only ONE contestant from BOTH teams, in order to be eliminated! In fact, since we only HAVE 30 episodes to work with, 4 of those which will be Performance Reviews, we are going to have a DOUBLE elimination from now, until we have the number of contestants remaining, equal the number of episodes left! Hopefully, that will inspire you to play your A game! Now, it's time for Olmec to tell us about the Legend Of the Promethius Torch!" Olmec says: "Centuries ago, the Ancient Greeks told of a tale, that when humanity was young, they lived in darkness, fear, and ignorance of one another. One of the Gods saw their pain and suffering, and decided that he couldn't bear to watch humanity suffer. That God was named Promethius! Promethius openly defied his fellow Gods, and from Mount Olympus, brought a sacred fire torch from the mountain, and handed it to humanity! The torch not only lit up people's homes, but it also sparked their creativity, and fueled their quest for knowledge and learning. For Promethius' defiance, he was sentenced to forever push a boulder, up the impossibly steep Mount Sisyphus. The Torch of Promethius was eventually lost to the mists of time, and found it's way to the Temple! Your task is to retrieve the Torch of Promethius and bring it back out of the Temple!" Sniz says: "Thanks Olmec! Where can the Torch of Promethius be found?" Olmec says: "The Torch of Promethius can be found in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey!" Sniz says: "All right! Today, we have randomly chosen the team set-up! The Red Jaguars will play WITH the Green Monkeys, while the Silver Snakes will play with the Blue Barracudas! Now, for today's challenge, in honor of the Torch of Promethius, we have built two large scale replicas of the original torch. You see that unlit flame up at the top? You will have to figure out a way, to build SOMETHING that will help you get from the ground, up to the unlit flame!" Gerald says: "Uh, not to poke holes in your LOGIC, but there is no such thing, as an unlit flame!" Sniz says: "There is for us! The studio won't let you PLAY with actual fire, and that includes Aang!" Aang says: "Tigress STARTED it!" Tigress retorts: "Like YOU could have EVER finished it!" Aang says: "BITE me!" Tigress says: "Only in your sick FANTASIES!" Aang yells: "Are you saying that I'M perverted?!" Tigress says: "Of course not, for a man obsessed with Mark Walhberg in Boogie Nights!" Otto says: "BURN!!!!" Aang says: "Can SHE get AWAY with SAYING that?!" Tigress tosses a $20 bill to Sniz, and Sniz says: "Why YES, she CAN! She's richer AND stronger than you!" (Confessional) Aang says: "Richer?! Maybe. Stronger?! We'll just see about THAT!" / Tigress says: "I WOULD feel more guilty about antagonizing Aang, but he JUST makes it TOO easy, and fun for me to POSSIBLY feel any guilt!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Anyways, since the studio won't let us use actual fire, you will be using light-up mock torches, in order to light the big torch. The first two teams that light the torch will win!" Haggis says: "Excuse me, but you haven't told us what we have to BUILD in order to GET up to the torch!" Sniz says: "We've got lots of various objects lying around, that you can use to get up to the flame! Arrange them in whatever way you think will be best to get up to the torch! It wouldn't be as challenging otherwise!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "I'm starting to think that I'm getting too old for this!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "One more thing, you cannot FLY or THROW someone up to the torch! You have to win this challenge the way any NORMAL contestant on Legends Of The Hidden Temple would!" Bubble Bass says: "Excuse me, but I have seen EVERY single original episode of the ORIGINAL Legends Of the Hidden Temple at LEAST once, and NONE of the contestants EVER had to light up a giant torch!" Sniz says: "That's what makes it more challenging! Am I right, Olmec!" Olmec says: "Right you are, Sniz!" Bubble Bass says: "Hmmm, that voice sounds REALLY familiar, but I can't quite place where I've HEARD it before!" Sniz says: "In any case, there will be SIX minutes to light the torch! If nobody can light the torch in the given amount of time, we will go to a tie-breaker question. Hopefully, it won't have to come to that!" Blonda says: "Excuse me, but can I have a STUNT double to do this FOR me?!" Sniz says: "What do you think this is; Spaceballs?! Besides, your sister Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal ANY injuries in case they happen on this set! It helps keep our First Aid costs low!" Blonda says: "Thank you, I feel SO much better!" Sniz says: "In any case; on your marks, get set GO!!!!" / Tigress says: "Teams, I will NOT have a repeat of what happened LAST season; I am GOING to win the first challenge!" Treeflower says: "WE!!!!" Tigress says: "Like I said, WE!" Sandy says: "Tigress, that WASN'T cute LAST season, and it certainly isn't cute NOW!" Tigress says: "Would you PREFER if I DIDN'T correct it?!" Wally says: "I certainly wouldn't!" Gerald says: "So, what exactly do you want us to build?" Tigress says: "WE won't have to build anything! All WE need to do is get up to the top! We can't fly, and I can't THROW someone up there, but Sniz said NOTHING about forming a human pyramid to get up to the top!" Pearl says: "Uh, a lot of us AREN'T human, including YOU!" Tigress says: "Oh, SHUT UP! You KNOW what I meant!" Darwin says: "And just HOW are we supposed to form this pyramid, dare I ask?!" Tigress says: "It's all a matter of weight, and proportion! The stronger, heavier contestants; Pearl, Larry, Super Chum, Heffer, Monster, Po, Johnny, and Jenny, you will make up the bottom portion of the pyramid! The next strongest, Sandy, Dog, Buhdeuce, Gerald, Otto, and Stimpy, will make up the next level of the pyramid! Treeflower, Judy, Keswick, and Marlene, you'll make up the next level of the pyramid! Darwin and Wally, you'll make up the next level of the pyramid! Spongebob, you'll get on top of them--." Spongebob says: "And then I'll get to light the torch?" Tigress actually laughs uproariously and says: "BAH!!!! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HUH, HO! HO! HO! HO! HA! HA! HA! Oh my! Oh, IT HURTS!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!...WAIT! Were you SERIOUS?! Let me...laugh even LOUDER!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!" Spongebob asks: "And what's so funny about that?" Tigress stops laughing and she says: "Spongebob, I'm sure Squidward MUST have gone over THIS scenario with you at LEAST 250 times, give or take, but you are simply UNQUALIFIED to light the torch on ONE basis and ONE basis alone; you are a DUMB-BUTT!!!! And there's no way a QUALIFIED winner like me is going to allow YOU to MESS it up for the rest of us! That's why I will jump off of YOU, and be the one to light the torch, so that YOU don't mess it up!" Spongebob says: "But I WOULDN'T--!" Tigress asks: "Spongebob; do you want to stay on MY good side?" Spongebob says: "Well, yes." Tigress asks: "Do you WANT me to help you out in FUTURE challenges where we MIGHT get paired up together?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress asks: "And do you WANT to keep ALL of YOUR teeth inside of your MOUTH when this season is over?" Spongebob says: "Yes." Tigress quietly says: "All right, than I guess in that case, you better..." Than Tigress screams: "SHUT UP; AND DO WHAT I SAY!!!!" Spongebob says: "Touchy!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "I'm starting to think that being IGNORED by Squidward, is BETTER than being YELLED at by Tigress!" / Tigress says: "Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely NO use for Spongebob, and I'm not at ALL afraid to let him know that! And while I would LOVE the idea of having Spongebob be the first boot out of here, I am also NOT going to put myself at the risk of being eliminated in the FIRST episode, either! It's a classic case of 'Can't kill you, still need you'." (End Confessional) Meanwhile, the other two teams are arguing and debating what to do! Bulma says: "Okay, teams! Just follow MY lead, and we will ALL be okay!" Daggett says: "YOUR lead?! After the way you LIED to everyone in season three just to get ahead?!" Haggis says: "And HE'S supposed to be the DUMB beaver!" Daggett says: "I RESENT that remark!" Bulma says: "Come on! I came prepared with a BUCKETFUL of plans, as in the plans could LITERALLY fit in a bucket! Won't you at LEAST hear me out?!" Zim asks: "And give YOU the chance to backstab us AGAIN?! Sorry, Bulma! But if YOU suggest it, we're NOT going to LISTEN to it!" (Confessional) Bulma sighs, and says: "I suppose I DESERVE that treatment! I...REALLY didn't think my actions through on season 3. Why can't foresight ever be 20/20 the way that hindsight is?!" / Haggis says: "Truthfully, Bulma probably COULD give us a plan to win! But after the way she fooled most of during season 3?! Too risky! I'd rather lose HONORABLY than make ANOTHER horrible mistake the way I did during season 3!" (End Confessional) Snaptrap says: "I am so LOVING this tension right now!" General Barracuda grabs Snaptrap by his lab-coat, and Snaptrap says: "NOW what?!" General Barracuda says: "HAND it over!" Snaptrap pulls out ONE tiny laser gun, and he says: "Fine!" General Barracuda screams: "ALL OF IT!!!!" Snaptrap moans: "FINE!!!!" And he pulls out EIGHT more lasers of various shapes and sizes, hidden in his lab coat! General Barracuda smiles, and he says: "There! Don't you feel BETTER now that you KNOW you're NOT cheating?" General Barracuda walks off-screen, and Snaptrap mockingly repeats: "Now that you know you're not cheating?" General Barracuda yells: "I heard that!" Snaptrap yells: "D'OH!!!!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Cheat on OUR show once? Shame on YOU! But we're NOT letting you cheat a SECOND time!" / Snaptrap says: "Why does he insist on RUINING all of MY fun this season?! What's the POINT of being on a game show if you CAN'T cheat on it?! I should've signed up with Disney; at least THEY would've let MY plots run unhindered for about 57 episodes!" (End Confessional) Kaput says: "You fools! The answer is OBVIOUS! I'll simply use my jet-pack to FLY the torch up there!" Sway-Sway says: "That's a no go, though. We can't FLY up there, and I'm PRETTY sure that includes jet-packs!" Buhdeuce says: "Don't you think if flying WAS an option, we would've done it by now?!" Kaput mutters, and he says: "I HATE it when LOSERS have a point!" Kitty says: "It takes one to know one! And why am I on the Silver Snakes?! I've NEVER done anything villainous!" Blonda says: "Well, you DID mistrust Chameleon, and NEVER gave him a chance during season three, even though he did NOTHING remotely worthy of not HAVING your trust!" Kitty says: "That's just GREAT!!!! One mistake, and I'm paying for it for the REST of my life!" Kowalski says: "I can say the SAME thing about SQUIDWARD'S parents!" Squidward says: "Leave MY parents out of this!" Private says: "Oh yeah?! Try saying THAT again to our pointed beaks! I'm a Final Two Contestant, buddy!" Squidward asks: "And that means WHAT to me, exactly?" Fee says: "It probably means that he feels that he's got a FAR better chance of winning this season than you do! And from the way YOU'RE behaving, I frankly can't BLAME him for thinking that!" Harvey says: "And I'm shocked that I actually AGREE with her!" Zarbon says: "Well, SOMEBODY needs to come up with SOMETHING! I can't save ALL of us with my good looks alone!" Private says: "I've got it! We build a TOWER! A pretty, pink, Princess Tower! From the top of the tower, we can simply lean out, and light the torch up!" Yakety asks: "A pretty, pink, Princess Tower? THAT'S what you can come up with?!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! It's the first ACTUAL idea I've heard of that COULD work!" Squidward groans, and says: "FINE! I'll help BUILD it, but I WON'T like it!" Taotie says: "Just so long as you help build it, that's all WE care about!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "Did I REALLY take my long overdue vacation from the Krusty Krab, just so I could go through MORE meaningless, menial labor AGAIN?! Of course, I can't AFFORD to be the first boot out, so it looks like I HAVE to do it! And if we LOSE, I am SO voting Kowalski and Private OUT!" / Private says: "There is simply nothing WRONG with being in touch with your feminine side!" Kowalski says: "I certainly don't think so!" / Fee says: "If there's one thing that I've learned from experience, is that you can tell a LOT about something by the way they constantly act and behave! Squidward's constant sarcasm, indifference, anger, and self-loathing, are all just a mask to hide his insecurities of feeling like he will NEVER be good enough for his parents, if he's NOT better than Spongebob! I'm banking on Squidward's CONSTANT need to knee-jerk, do ANYTHING and react in ANY way that will get ANYONE to POSSIBLY like him, to be his ultimate downfall!" / Bubble Bass says: "Look, I'm not saying that building a pretty, pink, Princess Tower is the BEST plan in the whole world, but our teams were STRUGGLING together! I mean, it's better than building NOTHING!" (End Confessional) During the pyramid stacking and the Princess Tower building montage, The Beatles song "We Can Work It Out" plays over it. / Paul McCartney sings: "Try to see it my way. Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on? While you see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone. We can work it out. We can work it out. Think of what you're saying. You can get it wrong, and still you think that it's alright. Think of what I'm saying. We can work it out and get it straight, or say goodnight. We can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again. Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out. We can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime. So I will ask you once again. Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out, we can work it out." / And the epic song ends as Haggis notices the progress of the other teams! Haggis says: "Team-mates, we need to HURRY, those other two teams are almost finished pyramid stacking!" Zim says: "Just need to use the last of my alien welding technology, and THAT should do it!" The Silver Snakes and the Blue Barracudas look at it! Fee says: "Isn't it great?!" Squidward sarcastically says: "Oh, YES! You'll be the ABSOLUTE talk of the town with this GORGEOUS Princess tower! Why, I bet YOUR friend who's actually NAMED Princess, will be TOTALLY jealous of THAT!" Harvey asks: "Are you making FUN of my girlfriend?" Squidward groans, and he says: "Some guys are just so TOUCHY!" Bulma says: "So, what happens now?" Kowalski says: "Well, Aang, Daggett, Private and I, will run to the top of the tower, with the mock torch, and light up the big torch through the window!" Blonda says: "Wow! That sounds like a GREAT plan! But there's a TEENSY thing wrong with it; there's no DOOR to go into the TOWER!!!!" Kitty Katswell says: "Are YOU saying you two penguins made us go through ALL that trouble, and you DIDN'T think to include a DOOR into the Tower?!" Private looks flustered, and he nervously says: "Well, maybe if we build a pretty, pink, Princess CASTLE..." And Bulma and Zarbon dope-slap Kowalski and Private simultaneously for NOT thinking their plan through! Meanwhile, the pyramid stacking is all finished! Tigress grabs the mock torch, and she says: "Okay, it's time to WIN this thing!" Snaptrap says: "Those CHEATERS are going to WIN! Help ME cheat to win!" Taotie says: "We're out of time! We're out of options!" Aang says: "Not quite! I'll win ONE way or another!" Dudley says: "But AANG, you CAN'T fly!" Aang says: "It's NOT flying, it's AIR BENDING!!!! I'll show YOU who is the strongest, TIGRESS!!!!" Aang quickly propels himself upward with the mock torch in his mouth, while Tigress quickly leaps up the pyramid with her mock torch! General Barracuda says: "It's going to be close! Here it COMES!!!!" And in super slow motion, Tigress and Aang both descend to light up the giant torch first, with Tigress just BARELY lighting the torch first, causing Aang to scream: "NO!!!!" And they both land on the ground at the same time! But as Aang lands, the Pretty Pink Princess Tower FALLS on top of him! Aang, muffled, shouts: "Okay! When I found out WHO forgot to put in the SUPPORT beams to keep that tower UP, they are SO getting voted OFF!!!!" And Kowalski and Private just whistle nervously! Sniz says: "And it's over, it's all over! The Green Monkeys and the Red Jaguars have won immunity! That means that one of you can go into the Temple, and--." Tigress screams: "ME!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay, but you NEED a Pendant of Life to--." Tigress says: "I WON'T need it, IF the Temple Guards have any BRAINS!!!!" Sniz says: "Okay! We'll put THREE minutes on the clock, and GO!!!!" And Tigress takes off like a rocket, merely SMASHING her way through EVERY single door, and not a SINGLE Temple Guard comes out to try to grab her, and she REACHES the Shrine Of The Silver Monkey in FIFTEEN seconds, and bolts straight for the proper exit, and reaches the exit in ONLY THIRTY seconds of the THREE minute total! Sniz says: "That...was the FASTEST and most UNEVENTFUL temple run in the HISTORY of temple runs! Where were all the Temple GUARDS?!" Olmec says: "Apparently, the Temple Guards were in the rooms to the left, below, and diagonally below the Shrine of The Silver Monkey." Sniz says: "Those were the ONLY three rooms where Tigress wouldn't have LOGICALLY have gone! What were you Temple Guards DOING hiding in THOSE rooms!" A wimpy voice says: "She SCARES us!!!!" Sniz says: "She is ONE contestant! YOU are THREE Temple Guards, and you DIDN'T do your jobs! Look, because we have a schedule to keep, I'll let it SLIDE this time! But next time, you BETTER do your jobs, if you want to earn a paycheck! You can all guard the SAME room for all I care, just do your jobs! Tigress, you, the Red Jaguars, and the Green Monkeys, have all won luxury suite hotel rooms, for the remainder of the season!" Tigress says: "Thank you! And Aang?!" Aang asks: "What?!" Tigress says: "I TOLD you I'd WIN!!!! See you at the LOSER trailers! Oh, wait! No, I WON'T!!!!" And Tigress rushes off to get her stuff, and get them into a hotel room! And Aang says: "I HATE her!" Sniz says: "Silver Snakes, Blue Barracudas, what can I say? Today was NOT a good day to be EITHER of you! Unpack your stuff, and get ready for tonight's elimination ceremony. One member from BOTH teams will be eliminated tonight!" (Confessional) Squidward asks: "Okay, just out of curiosity, can I vote for NINE losers instead of TWO?! Because with the exception of Bubble Bass, everyone else on MY team was COMPLETELY USELESS!" / Bubble Bass says: "We did NOT get on the right foot at ALL in terms of starting this half of a season! Luckily for us, it's not about how you start something, it's about how you finish it! While there were a LOT of contributing factors to consider, at least Squidward actually HELPED us build the tower! If it hadn't have been for the suggestion and building planning of Private and Kowalski respectively, Squidward could've built us something that could've actually WORKED! I'm going to tell everyone else to vote the TWO of them off tonight! It's the most logical move we can MAKE at this junction!" (End Confessional) The Silver Snakes, and the Blue Barracudas are at a Tiki themed elimination ceremony. Sniz says: "Welcome to the first Elimination Ceremony of this half-season. And while I'm fully well-aware that the ORIGINAL Legends Of The Hidden Temple didn't really HAVE Elimination Ceremonies, we added it in, so that we could make the show more interesting! This season, we have made the voting a little different. You will each be given an electronic voting pad to vote with. Once you have selected the contestants you want to have voted off, confirm your selections by tapping on their icons, than slide a miniature Pendant Of Life into the Coin Slot! Once all the votes are tallied, the contestants who are safe, will receive a Pendant Of Life, that has a NICE chocolate treat inside! And don't worry, Chameleon! We made SURE to have Wanda wish for Dudley and ANYONE else this season, to be able to eat chocolate! Be sure to vote for two contestants, but only ONE from both teams! Once the eliminated contestants have been decided, they will have to board the Mine Cart Of Shame, which will go into the Mine Shaft of Losers! What's the twist, you ask?! That Mine Shaft is a portal to POTENTIALLY anywhere, and it will CHANGE it's destination after every single elimination, so there's no TELLING where you might end up! With that being said, it's time to VOTE!" Everyone quickly grabs their voting pads, and quickly make their two selections! Sniz says: "It's time to reveal who is safe to play in another game! Aang, Daggett, Haggis, Zim, Kitty, surprisingly Snaptrap, Sway-Sway, Harvey, surprisingly Kaput, Blonda, surprisingly Taotie, Gonard, Dudley, surprisingly Zarbon AND Bulma, Chameleon, Fee, Johnny Krill, Bubble Bass, Yakety Yak!" Kowalski, Private, and Squidward tense up, as they are the ONLY contestants left! Sniz says: "Contestant's, this is the FINAL Pendant Of Life for this evening!" Squidward looks nervously, while Kowalski decides to hold Private's hand, in the assurance that at least ONE of them will be safe! Sniz says: "And I'm surprised by this, but it goes to, SQUIDWARD!" Squidward says: "You are SO lucky you two DIDN'T get me eliminated!" Kowalski says: "I don't understand! Statistically, this is against all odds!" Bulma says: "I'll just have you know that if you had followed one of MY plans, you wouldn't be LEAVING right now!" Snaptrap says: "Chalk that up to the last mistake YOU two will ever make on a game show; good LUCK trying to get on this show again, which you won't!" Private says: "At least we KNOW that we don't have to worry about anyone ELSE trying to backstab us! I'm banking on YOUR team's complete inability to work together to completely DESTROY one another, metaphorically speaking of course!" Sniz says: "Kowalski and Private, time to come to the Mine Cart." They do so, and they strap on helmets and safety gear. Sniz says: "All your gear has been packed in there. Buckle up!" They do so, and they brace themselves! Sniz says: "Ready, Olmec?" Olmec says: "Ready, Sniz!" Sniz says: "3, 2, 1, BLAST-OFF!!!!" And the Mine-Cart LITERALLY rockets down the rail track, and THROUGH the mysterious Mine Shaft portal! Sniz says: "Good-bye, you flightless birds! I have NO idea WHERE you're going! Well, that's two contestants down, and 42 contestants left to go! Who will be the next set of contestants to get eliminated? That's anyone's guess! All I know is, the next Legend will be even MORE fun than this one! So tune in for another episode of Total Cartoon Legends!" Olmec says: "Tell them that Olmec set you!" / Stinger: A portal opens in the MIDDLE of Antarctica, and Kowalski and Private arrive through it! Kowalski says: "Well, this is INDEED a lucky turn of events, we're back on our home continent!" Private says: "Antarctica! Beautiful, lovely Antarctica! Home of walrus', seals, killer whales, a million OTHER penguins that look a LOT like us, and the occasional scientist!" The two penguins listen to the wind blow for a few moments, before Kowalski says: "Well, THIS stinks!" Private says: "Well, you can't win them all." / And the episode ends! / Episode Notes: The half-season premiere of "Total Cartoon Legends", and of four teams, The Red Jaguars, the Green Monkeys, the Blue Barracudas, and the Silver Snakes. Featured songs in this episode; Smash Mouth's "All Star" (returning as the normal episode open), Janet Jackson's "If", and The Beatles "We Can Work It Out". Kowalski and Private become the first two contestants to be voted off during this half-season. Eliminated Contestants: 44. Kowalski. 43. Private. Remaining Contestants: Aang, Silver Snakes. Daggett Beaver, Silver Snakes. Treeflower Fields, Green Monkeys. Spongebob Squarepants, Green Monkeys. Otto Rocket, Red Jaguars. Sandy Cheeks, Red Jaguars. Stimpy J. Cat, Green Monkeys. Judy Funny, Red Jaguars. Gerald, Red Jagaurs. Haggis McHaggis, Silver Snakes. Pearl Krabs Barracuda, Red Jaguars. Darwin, Green Monkeys. Invader Zim, Silver Snakes. Marlene Otter, Green Monkeys. Larry The Lobster, Red Jaguars. Dog, Green Monkeys. Kitty Katswell, Silver Snakes. Verminious J. Snaptrap, Silver Snakes. Sway-Sway, Blue Barracudas. Harvey Beaks, Blue Barracudas. Super Chum, Green Monkeys. Keswick, Green Monkeys. Kaput, Silver Snakes. Heffer Wolfe, Red Jaguars. Buhdeuce, Red Jaguars. Monster Krumholtz, Green Monkeys. Blonda, Silver Snakes. Taotie, Silver Snakes. Tigress, Red Jaguars. Gonard, Blue Barracudas. Po, Green Monkeys. Wally, Green Monkeys. Dudley Puppy, Blue Barracudas. Zarbon, Blue Barracudas. Bulma Briefs, Silver Snakes. Chameleon, Blue Barracudas. Fee, Blue Barracudas. Johnny Krill, Red Jaguars. Jenny Wakeman, Red Jaguars. Bubble Bass, Blue Barracudas. Yakety Yak, Blue Barracudas. Squidward Tentacles, Blue Barracudas. / Personal Notes: While I personally enjoyed watching "The Penguins Of Madagascar", for some reason trying to translate the antics and personality of the PENGUINS, into seasons of this show, was like the equivalent of trying to perform a ROOT Canal BLINDFOLDED; hard, and a TOTAL mess! Besides, I felt like I had already written everything I could write about the penguins. The only real reason why Kowalski and Private returned THIS season, besides being EMBARRASSINGLY eliminated first, was to show EVERYONE else that despite the fact that the two of them managed to get pretty FAR during the last half-season, one even making the Final Two, this half-season is going to be a LOT harder, and will have a LOT more twists than what THEY were used to! It sort of sets the bar on what everyone ELSE can expect for the rest of this half-season! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it! Enough said, true believers!
  15. For my next re-run, I will show you BOTH the Alternate Ending, and the Canon Ending of "Total Cartoon Legends" at the same time! The Alternate Ending first, and the Canon Ending second! I hope you enjoy both of them! / The camera opens up in the camera monitor room, only to show Marlene instead of Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda. Marlene says: "Hmmm, I guess I'M the one doing the show introduction this time! Over this first half of season four, you have witnessed twelve contestants; Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Danny Fenton, Fee, Johnny Krill, Tigress, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, lose to the combined intelectual minds of Bubble Bass and Private! Despite being called 'The Brains' and 'The Other Brains', these two contestants have played vastly different games! Bubble Bass has focused on crafting strategies, plans, and an alliance to help him get to where he is, while Private has focused on the social aspect of this game, trying to be friendly with everyone, and keeping a charming personality while doing it. These two different strategies have brought the two of them to the Final Two, but only ONE of them can walk away with the $1.4 Million Grand Prize! It's time to find out who will emerge the winner, in the half-season finale, for Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I can't WAIT to see how it unfolds!" / "Brains Vs. The Other Brains: The Intellectual Showdown!" / The camera opens up to show Sniz, in the middle of a giant arena, filled with a lot of audience members, but most NOTABLY, the previously eliminated contestants from this season (except Tigress), and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Sniz says: "Well, we neede to wait X amount of time for this to happen, but at long last, it's going to happen! The Final Two is going to come down to Bubble Bass and Private, Brains Vs. The Other Brains! But before our contestants come out here, we've asked them to make one final Confessional, to reveal their thought process, on how they expect the final challenge to play out! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If anyone asked me if I expected to make it to the Final Two based only on my wits and LITERALLY nothing else, I would've told them they were CRAZY! But somehow, even with just BUBBLES, I managed to make it past twelve other contestants! I mean, I know a LITTLE bit of luck had to be involved, but it certainly couldn't have been ALL luck! Unless you're Orlando Bloom, NOBODY'S luck is THAT good! But, I've made it THIS far! Now it's time to see if I can go ALL the way! My only concern is the social aspect of the game. Private definitely has it over me in the popularity department! How HE managed to be born with an ACTUAL British accent, I'll probably never know! But in any other department, I probably have the edge over him! Still, it pays to expect the unexpected, so I'm not holding my breath; even though I'm a fish and have gills!" / Private says: "Initially, I thought I was here to support Rico and Kowalski in their quest to win a season of this game. But when Rico got taken out so early, I knew I had to step up to the plate! And not just for me, but for Kowalski's sake! And despite so many odds being against me, I exceeded the expectations that twelve other contestants had of me, and made it to the Final Two! There's no doubt that when it comes to the social aspect of this game, I've got it in the bag! But, seeing the way this season has been so far, I seriously doubt it's going to come down to the social aspect! And Bubble Bass, in spite of not starting with much in terms of physical prowess, actually HAS stepped up to the plate and proven more capable of holding his own in challenges! So, I'm going to have to play with everything I have in this final challenge! It's my best chance of proving that I have what it takes to be a REAL penguin commando!" (End Confessional) The two contestants step out onto the arena, from opposite sides, to thunderous applause! Sniz says: "Welcome to the battle of the BRAINY bulge! The thriller at cerebellum! The meeting of the minds! The throwdown at think town! Did I miss anything?" Wanda says: "No, I think you got them all!" Sniz says: "Private, Bubble Bass, you know out of all the contestants that came here, I NEVER would've expected EITHER of you to make it to the Final Two! BUT, seeing as how you're both here, we'll simply have to make the best of things!" Bubble Bass asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Private mockingly imitates Bubble Bass and says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even listen to yourself when you TALK?!" Squidward says: "I do! He's one of the FEW around Bikini Bottom who ACTUALLY makes SENSE to me!" Patrick says: "I can make sense!" Squidward says: "Yeah, NONSENSE! Remind me WHY I agreed to come with you two?" Spongebob says: "Because you'll be getting paid double-triple overtime COMPARED to what you normally get for a day's work at the Krusty Krab?" Squidward perks up, and says: "Oh, yes! Sweet restitution! I'm in!" Sniz says: "Anyways, the two of you have used the various aspects of your mental strength, to outplay the twelve other contestants, including Tigress, WHEREVER she currently is, who have gathered here, to see you battle against each other! And now, the ball is in THEIR court! It's time for YOU to describe to them, why YOU should be the one to win this half of a season?!" Private raises his flipper, and he says: "Ooh, can I go first?!" Bubble Bass shrugs, and says: "Eh, knock yourself out." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I've been told that a LITTLE bit of courtesy can go a long way. Where to? I'm not exactly sure. I don't think I've gotten there yet." (End Confessional) Private says: "Distinguished contestants, and Tigress, if you're listening, I just want to let you know that when I was playing this game, I never beared ANY ill will towards any of you; not even Tigress! I just wanted to play to the best of my ability, and be as friendly as possible while doing it. Any moves I made, I made them because I felt like they were the right moves for me, and it was nothing personal against any of you! I just want you to know that if you decide to choose ME to be your winner, I will be a GRACEFUL winner, and I will invite ALL of you to a party at the New York City Zoo!" And everyone loudly cheers at Private's announcement! Kowalski says: "You gotta hand it to Private! He certainly knows how to CLOSE a deal!" Rico nods in agreement and says: "Bleh!" Bessie Higgenbottom says: "Oh, yeah! My great, great--." (THUD!!!!) And a giant ice ball suddenly crushes her! Katarra, unconvincingly says: "Oops! I tried to make a snow cone, and I ACCIDENTALLY made the ice too big and hard, and it FELL on Bessie!" Johnny says: "Girl, lying is REALLY not your thing! Your not GOOD at it! You'd NEVER make it trying to write Get Well Cards for people who are really sick, you're too honest!" Katarra nods, and says: "Probably." (Confessional) Katarra says: "I REALLY hope Aang agrees to come back for the NEXT half of this season. Because I honestly don't see how I could POSSIBLY hope to have a chance, against contestants who might lie and deceive me, especially when I don't really HAVE the ability to do the same thing to them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right. Bubble Bass, what do you have to say?" Bubble Bass asks: "Are you kidding me? I can't TOP what Private just said! Besides, lying would go against EVERYTHING I've been trying to work towards this season! So, I guess I'll just say what everyone would expect me to say!" And Bubble Bass steps up to the microphone and loudly belches: "BURP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Theodore says: "That is the SECOND loudest belch I have ever heard! Off hand, I can't remember where I heard the FIRST loudest, but I KNOW that it was somewhere!" Sniz says: "Well, the candidates have made their words! So contestants, show your support! Will it be green for Bubble Bass, or black for Private?!" A weary Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Theodore Seville, Rico, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, all show their support for Private. Katarra, Danny Fenton, Fee, and Johnny Krill, all show their support for Bubble Bass! Danny says: "Katarra, I'm surprised that YOU'RE supporting Bubble Bass." Katarra says: "I'm supporting him because of his SHEER honesty." Sniz says: "Well, Private, you have seven supporters, that means...you have SEVEN minutes!" Private asks: "Seven minutes for what?" Sniz says: "To prepare for the FINAL challenge! You didn't THINK that it would come down to simple support did you?" Private says: "But I thought you said the ball was in their court!" Sniz says: "It was, to see how much TIME you would get to prepare for the final challenge! I mean, HELLO! Obviously, we're NOT going to do a finale like season two again! That would make it WAY too boring to watch, and no good for us in terms of ratings! And Bubble Bass, since you have four supporters, that means you have four minutes!" Bubble Bass asks: "And what are we preparing for; dare I ask?" Sniz says: "For the ultimate battle between the minds, we're going to have an ACTUAL battle, and we're going to see whose intellect is superior! Or, maybe who is luckier! Take your pick! Anyways, in our electronic storage, we have LOADS of assorted electronic doo-dads and gizmos, all confiscated from various failed schemes by Plankton and Snaptrap, for you to peruse. Using the time you have been alotted, you will have to quickly choose which devices you think, will most help you win a technological battle between the two of you!" Private says: "You mean we have to BUILD something?" Sniz says: "You catch on fast, my feathered friend! Once you've grabbed your stuff, you will build something with the stuff you managed to grab. When it is finished, you will both come out here, and your machines will fight! You can even fight IN the machines for all I care, just so long as we have a fight! And don't worry, if you are injured, Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal all of your injuries!" Squidward asks: "Hey! Why can't I have that on any of the shows that I'M a part of?" Patrick asks: "Would you rather our shows be CANCELLED like The Fairly Oddparents and YOU be out of an ACTUAL job?" (Confessional) Squidward steams, and he says: "I HATE it when DUMB WAD has a point!" / Patrick says: "I've learned quite a bit from watching Squidina work on my show. She works really hard, and has to know a lot to keep things running. While I won't pretend that I know everything that she does, I think I owe it to her to at LEAST pay attention, and hopefully, I'll remember the things that she tries to teach me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Since Private has the most supporters, he will go first, and have seven minutes. Bubble Bass, you may go, once our automated timer hits the four minute mark! And GO!!!!" / And during the seven minutes, the ENTIRETY of The Beatles hit song "Hey Jude", plays during Private's and Bubble Bass' collecting, than building montage. / Paul McCartney sings: "Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. Hey, Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain; Hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool, who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder. Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah. Hey, Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. So let it out and let it in. Hey, Jude, begin. You're waiting for someone to perform with. And don't you know that it's just you! Hey, Jude, you'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder. Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah! Yeah! Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better; better, better, better, better,better... oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (don't make it bad, Jude) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Take a sad song and make it better!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Oh, Jude!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Jude, hey, Jude, whoa!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! (Ooh!) Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude! Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah, Hey, Jude!" / And the song fades out as the montage ends. / Sniz says: "Okay! The collecting and the building is over! It's time to reveal what our two geniuses have managed to build!" Private steps out first; only, he is now WEARING a metallic exo-skin over his entire body, painted black and white, to make him look like a stronger, more metallic version of himself! Brittany asks: "Is that a--?!" Po quickly interrupts: "NO! It's Metal Bird! Can't get sued with Metal Bird!" Jenny says: "Maybe it's a good thing I DIDN'T get into the Final Two after all! Not sure if I could've competed with THAT!" Sniz says: "Very impressive! Now it's time to see what Bubble Bass has built!" Bubble Bass comes out, wearing a robotic walker that looks like a silver version of the machine that Ripley wore in the finale of "Aliens"! Fee asks: "Is that the BEST machine that you could build?!" Bubble Bass says: "Hey! I only HAD four minutes to collect my stuff! This is the best that I could do with what little I was able to grab!" Fee THINKS about it, and she says: "Eh, fair enough." (Confessional) Fee says: "Don't get me wrong. Since I'm not in the Final Two, it really doesn't make much difference to me who wins or LOSES! I'm already planning my strategy for the NEXT half of this season! I'll get to be IN it with my friend, Harvey Beaks! WHOO WHOO! I am SO excited for that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! You built, so it's time to battle! Ladies, and gentlemen, get ready, for--!" Tigress interrupts: "Why did that STUPID Cosmo LOCK the DOOR?!!!" Master Coelaceanth responds: "If Cosmo IS stupid, do you think he would've LOCKED the door?!" Kowalski's already white feathered face, SOMEHOW manages to BLANCHE even more with fear! Kowalski says: "Don't tell me they managed to make it all the way HERE!" Gordon asks: "Well, since you're NOT getting in, can I leave now?" Tigress says: "Oh, we are SO getting in!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Oh, and just HOW do you propose to do THAT?!" Tigress says: "Well, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S your plan?!" Tigress says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me! I SAID...THROWING...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS... WORKS!!!!" Master Coelaceanth yells as he suddenly appears plummeting from over the arena walls, and into the center of the building, followed by Gordon STILL in his truck, which lands on TOP of the undead Master Coelaceanth, and than Tigress suddenly leaps OVER the walls, and she lands on top of the truck! Tigress says: "See what I did THERE?! I just threw a SWORD...FISH!" Master Coelaceanth mutters: "Get this...!" Tigress says: "Watch your mouth! Or I WON'T help you!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled yells: "Get this MISERABLE excuse for a truck OFF!" Tigress coyly says: "Say the magic word!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled, yells: "Like, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "No, the OTHER magic word!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?" Tigress smiles, and says: "Only a LOT!" Master Coelacenath groans, and struggling, says: "Puh...lee...aze!" Tigress says: "Okay...now say PRETTY please with sugar, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!!!!" Master Coelaceanth LITERALLY shoots out FLAMES from around his body, melting the front half of the truck, quickly FORCING Gordon to get out! And Master Coelaceanth yells: "I'll KILL YOU!!!!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! Do you expect ME to believe THAT?! YOU can't even get RID of one lowly sea sponge!" Master Coelaceanth says: "A problem I mean to rectify IMMEDIATELY!" Sniz says: "HEY! We were about to do a challenge here! Save your vendetta for somewhere else!" Tigress says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! This STOPPED being about Master Coelaceanth's need for revenge like...ages ago!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "Oh, SURE! You COULD have been useful! I mean, hello! I don't string along guys like you unless I plan on getting good MILEAGE out of it! If you were REALLY evil, you would've outright REFUSED to say Please to me! But, since you did, you're clearly not UP to the job I thought you were! From now on, I'm on my own!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Wait! You mean to tell me that whole point of that Please ordeal was a secret test of character?" Tigress says: "Well, DUH!!!! And you failed MISERABLY! Just like every other man who's NOT Po has done in MY life!" Po says: "YES!!!! I'm Tigress' number one man in HER life! Although, that doesn't really feel appropriate to celebrate right now for some reason." Tigress says: "Besides, are you REALLY trying to pull that whole, 'I'm undead and I won't rest until I get revenge against some weak sea sponge who can't even lift a stick with TWO marshmallows on it' thing?!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Who told you THAT?!" Tigress coyly says: "You just TOLD me, you LITERAL block-head!" (Confessional) Spongebob fumes, and he says: "Oh, I HATE it when somebody pulls THAT routine on me!" / Tigress says: "I've known Spongebob's strength from the very start! He's about as much of a threat to me, as an army of balloons is to a porcupine colony! I just want to watch him squirm, while I thrash the FLOOR with Master Coelaceanth! Besides, it will be a good warm-up for the SECOND half of the season! First, I utterly humiliate the undead guy, THAN I'll utterly humiliate Spongebob, but not before I instill a good sense of FEAR into that Sponge!" (End Confessional) Private says: "Um, not that I think that you can't do it, but, this is supposed to be OUR battle! Let us FIGHT it!" Tigress says: "Well, if we were REALLY being fair about things, Sniz would let ME fight the both of you, if you're not COWARDS!!!!" Private and Bubble Bass freeze in place and don't say a word! Tigress says: "That's what I THOUGHT! You WON'T interfere because you KNOW I would beat you in ANYTHING!!!!" Katarra says: "Except BRAINS!!!!" Tigress yells: "WHAT?!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "An OPENING!!!!" He tries to produce lightning, but it fizzles out! Master Coelaceanth: "WHAT?! What the hey?!" He keeps TRYING to produce lightning, but NOTHING comes out! Master Coelaceanth screams: "Why isn't my lightning WORKING?!" Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof climb into the arena wall, and they're puffing and totally out of breath. Anti-Cosmo wheezes, and says: "We...finally, got away from that chatty parrot and that dumb dog! Remind me we should NEVER associate with dogs or birds if we can avoid them EVER again!" Anti-Poof says: "You said it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's about TIME you showed up! Look what your botched spell did to me!" Anti-Cosmo says: "For your information, I DIDN'T botch it! Wanda interrupted my spell by cutting off the access to my power before I could complete it! If I had known that was going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have cast it and left you in this incomplete state!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you're here now, so cast a spell and bring me back to life again!" Anti-Poof chuckles nervously, and he says: "Uh, funny you should mention that. You see, Wanda, kind of shut off the access point for our powers. We can't restore you even though we really, REALLY want to!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!" Anti-Poof says: "And, your powers were ALWAYS connected to the magical source of OUR powers! When you erupted in flames to melt that truck, you used the very last little residual of magic inside of you that was left in your body. Your out of power. It's over." Master Coelaceanth rhetorically says: "Over? OVER?!!!" He bounds with a great leap towards Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, and Master Coelaceanth says: "NOTHING is over as long as my body is capable of moving! If I can't use my magic, I'll simply have to kill Spongebob with nothing but brute FORCE!!!!" Spongebob says: "Come on! Why do you want to kill ME?! I'm a nice guy!" Squidward asks: "Do you want the LONG story or the short version?" Spongebob THINKS about it, and he says: "Uh, the SHORT version?" Squidward says: "Even if he DIDN'T hate you for all the reasons that he probably SHOULD hate you, he's a VILLAIN! He doesn't need a reason to hate, he's just THAT sadistic!" Master Coelaceanth says: "So, come on down and FIGHT me if you want to taste your DEATH!" Tigress moves in front of him, and he says: "You're not harming ANYBODY!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You'd DARE fight ME?!" Tigress says: "Fight you? No, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You THINK you can destroy me?!" Tigress says: "I don't think it, I KNOW it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, if I'm something that can be stopped, than JUST try to stop me!" Tigress and Master Coelaceanth begin sparring at each other, and Bubble Bass says: "Wow! I have NEVER felt so sidelined and ignored before. Now I know how Sandy felt during the majority of seasons six through eight of Spongebob Squarepants!" Marlene says: "Well, SOMEBODY has to stop this! Tigress is PHYSICALLY stronger than Master Coelaceanth, but because he's STILL undead, he can't FEEL pain, so he won't ever need to stop, whereas Tigress' strength will eventually wear out!" Private says: "I've got an idea! Gordon Quid!" Gordon says: "What do you want?!" Private says: "What exactly have you been hauling in your truck?!" Gordon says: "See? SOMEONE cares what I've been hauling!" Tigress says: "Not helping!" Gordon says: "Well, as it just so happens, I have been hauling, a whole bunch of deep fry FISH oil!" Johnny Krill nervously yells: "FISH oil?!" Squidward yells: "Fish oil?!" Bubble Bass yells: "Fish oil?!" Spongebob yells: "Fish oil?!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Fish oil?!" Patrick yells: "Fish Oil?!" Spongebob and Squidward look at him strangely. Patrick says: "WHAT?! No one is THAT stupid!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "In some weird way, I'm beginning to think that Patrick might be right about ONE thing! The mechanations of his inner mind ARE an enigma!" (End Confessional) Private says: "Gordon, fill my firing mechanisms up with that stuff!" Gordon asks: "You WANT to help Tigress?!" Private says: "I got to! I wouldn't be a GOOD penguin spy otherwise!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You think I'm just going to LET you DOUSE me with that stuff?!" Bubble Bass says: "No, but I CAN help hold you BACK!" And Bubble Bass uses his metal pinchers, to keep Master Coelaceanth in place! Master Coelaceanth yells: "No! Let me go! Let me go!" Bubble Bass says: "After the way you threatened Spongebob? You're out of your mind!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You fool! If they douse ME, what's to stop them from dousing the REST of you?! You're seafood to them! They will HUNT you! They will EAT you! They'll destroy EVERYTHING that you cherish until there is nothing LEFT of Bikini Bottom! Is THAT what you WANT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "YOU'RE the fool! That's NOT going to happen even if YOU are alive, so it doesn't even MATTER!" Private says: "I've got it! Sorry, Master Coelaceanth, but it's hook, line, and SINKER!!!!" And Private FIRES the hot deep fry oil onto Master Coelaceanth, turning him from an undead corpse into a gigantic fish fry! Tigress says: "A fish fry! How poetic! I've always WANTED to sink my teeth into a fresh FISH meal!!!!" Even without a functional mouth, Master Coelaceanth SOMEHOW manages to scream: "No, no, NO!!!!" And the camera turns to face Patrick as loud chomping is heard off-screen from his vantage point. Patrick says: "See? Unlike SOME shows, we have the decency to turn the camera AWAY from footage like that, even if he WAS evil!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it looks like Master Coelaceanth's story has been wrapped up, with absolutely NO loose ends to tie up!" Than Tigress' eyes briefly glow GLOWING red, and a sinister voice lowly says: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Bubble Bass says: "Than again, maybe not. But we'll deal with it during the NEXT half season IF it becomes a problem and NOT before!" Sniz says: "That's great and all, but, we STILL have a challenge to finish, and you've WASTED enough time as it is! We need to find out who are winner is! And NO more fish oil!" Private says: "Fair enough! It's time to see how strong this suit really is!" Bubble Bass says: "You're going to take me head on?" Private says: "Literally!!!!" And Private shoots like a rocket towards Bubble Bass, and the resulting collision BREAKS both of their mechanical creations apart, and the two of them are weary, wobbling on their last legs! General Barracuda says: "Come on, son! Stay up!" Kowalski says: "Don't fall down now, Private!" Sniz says: "Well, looks like it might come down to luck after all!" And in a split second difference, Bubble Bass falls down first, and Private falls RIGHT on top of him! Marlene says: "Private has pinned Bubble Bass! It's time to start the countdown! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's over! It's all over! Private has won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" Kowalski rushes to Private's side, and gets him out of the wrecked metal! Kowalski says: "You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just KNEW you would!" Private says: "Well, I don't think if I could've done it, if I hadn't have learned from you." General Barracuda comes to Bubble Bass' side, and gets him out of the wreckage. General Barracuda says: "Son..." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "I suppose you probably hate me for failing to live up to your high expectations." General Barracuda says: "Come on! You made it to the Final Two! That's far better than I ever expected you to do! Come on, I'll buy you a dinner with the pearls I've been keeping in the lake!" Bubble Bass says: "PEARLS?!!! Those were YOUR pearls?!" General Barracuda says: "You KNOW about them?!" Bubble Bass says: "I found them in the very FIRST episode of this competition! I didn't KNOW they were yours! If I did, I never would've taken them!" General Barracuda says: "Well, they're MY retirement NEST egg...which, I'll bequeath to someday should I kick the bucket!" Bubble Bass says: "Eh, I waited THIS long to be rich! I can wait a little longer!" Private says: "No need to worry! I have decided to split the prize money evenly! An even $100,000 split between all fourteen contestants, EVEN Tigress!" Tigress says: "It was never about the money for me, just for the title! I might have lost the title THIS time! But just wait for the NEXT half of the season, and, watch out everyone!" Sniz says: "I'll fly everyone to Private's party at the New York City Zoo on my PRIVATE LEAR Jet! Fondue, I'll let YOU close off the season!" Fondue excitedly says: "Really?! I'd be glad to!" Sniz, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, General Barracuda, Wally, Marlene, and all the contestants get on the plane. And as it leaves over the horizon, Fondue says: "And that has been Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We'll be going into production pretty soon for the second half of Season Four, so when we come back, we will find out who will be participating, in Total Cartoon Legends!" Than police sirens wail, and Police Officers Bob and Nancy jump out of their police cars, and Gordon says: "That's the guy! That's who's responsible for MY suffering!" Police Officer Nancy says: "Fondue Brokowski, you are under arrest!" Fondue asks: "On what charges?!" Police Officer Nancy pulls out a list, and she says: "Hiring scab labor during a union strike, utilizing dangerous black magic known to cause effects such as baldness, temporary gigantic growth, involuntary invisibility, and the like; turning a blind eye to Anti-Cosmo's blatant cheating in regards to Tigress, letting General Barracuda help Bubble Bass have an unfair advantage in a challenge, sending contestants into a dark cave without proper cave safety equipment, utilizing LIVE cannon ammunition on a pirate ship, allowing contestants to steal and than later use a death ray laser...thingy, reckless endangerment of a contestant's life in regards to Private, allowing Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a proper permit, allowing four super dangerous villains to invade and distrupt a challenge simultaneously, not checking Jenny Wakeman for dangerous weaponry BEFORE she entered the competition, wrecking a dance studio and violating the terms of a deposit, and wreckless usage of deep fry fish oil in the presence of aquatic sea creatures! And let's not forget, you decided to take ALL the responsibility of ANYTHING that happened this season, Fondue!" Fondue gulps nervously, and he suddenly realizes that Sniz HAD a point after all at the beginning of the season, and all Fondue can say is: "Oh, boy! I am in SO much trouble when Sniz finds out about this." / Episode Notes: Alternate ending where Private wins. (If you're STILL reading Hayden, you can stop now. This will be the ONLY time a contestant from "The Penguins Of Madagascar" EVER wins a Final Two, really!) All other notes will be revealed when the cannon ending of this episode is written. / Personal Notes: Back when I was writing season three, I had hoped to be able to do my own version of "Run, Lola Run", by writing three different endings for the three different finalists, and thus give the fans the choice of who they wanted to see win. Unfortunately, Stephen Hillenburg dying made me realize that it would be totally inappropriate of me, to NOT honor his legacy, by not technically having Patrick win, and give Reggie Rocket the title. But now, that enough time has passed, I feel like I can write down an alternate ending, and fans can choose this to be the actual ending if they so desire. For everyone else, the real finale still waits! / The camera opens up in the camera monitor room, only to show Marlene instead of Sniz, Fondue, or General Barracuda. Marlene says: "All right! I get to be the one doing the show introduction this time! Over this first half of season four, you have witnessed twelve contestants; Bessie Higgenbottom, Brittany Miller, Rico, Katarra, Theodore Seville, Danny Fenton, Fee, Johnny Krill, Tigress, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, lose to the combined intelectual minds of Bubble Bass and Private! Despite being called 'The Brains' and 'The Other Brains', these two contestants have played vastly different games! Bubble Bass has focused on crafting strategies, plans, and an alliance to help him get to where he is, while Private has focused on the social aspect of this game, trying to be friendly with everyone, and keeping a charming personality while doing it. These two different strategies have brought the two of them to the Final Two, but only ONE of them can walk away with the $1.4 Million Grand Prize! It's time to find out who will emerge the winner, in the half-season finale, for Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! I can't WAIT to see how it unfolds!" / "Brains Vs. The Other Brains: The Intellectual Showdown!" / The camera opens up to show Sniz, in the middle of a giant arena, filled with a lot of audience members, but most NOTABLY, the previously eliminated contestants from this season (except Tigress), and Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward. Sniz says: "Well, we needed to wait X amount of time for this to happen, but at long last, it's going to happen! The Final Two is going to come down to Bubble Bass and Private, Brains Vs. The Other Brains! But before our contestants come out here, we've asked them to make one final Confessional, to reveal their thought process, on how they expect the final challenge to play out! (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "If anyone asked me if I expected to make it to the Final Two based only on my wits and LITERALLY nothing else, I would've told them they were CRAZY! But somehow, even with just BUBBLES, I managed to make it past twelve other contestants! I mean, I know a LITTLE bit of luck had to be involved, but it certainly couldn't have been ALL luck! Unless you're Orlando Bloom, NOBODY'S luck is THAT good! But, I've made it THIS far! Now it's time to see if I can go ALL the way! My only concern is the social aspect of the game. Private definitely has it over me in the popularity department! How HE managed to be born with an ACTUAL British accent, I'll probably never know! But in any other department, I probably have the edge over him! Still, it pays to expect the unexpected, so I'm not holding my breath; even though I'm a fish and have gills!" / Private says: "Initially, I thought I was here to support Rico and Kowalski in their quest to win a season of this game. But when Rico got taken out so early, I knew I had to step up to the plate! And not just for me, but for Kowalski's sake! And despite so many odds being against me, I exceeded the expectations that twelve other contestants had of me, and made it to the Final Two! There's no doubt that when it comes to the social aspect of this game, I've got it in the bag! But, seeing the way this season has been so far, I seriously doubt it's going to come down to the social aspect! And Bubble Bass, in spite of not starting with much in terms of physical prowess, actually HAS stepped up to the plate and proven more capable of holding his own in challenges! So, I'm going to have to play with everything I have in this final challenge! It's my best chance of proving that I have what it takes to be a REAL penguin commando!" (End Confessional) The two contestants step out onto the arena, from opposite sides, to thunderous applause! Sniz says: "Welcome to the battle of the BRAINY bulge! The thriller at cerebellum! The meeting of the minds! The throwdown at think town! Did I miss anything?" Wanda says: "No, I think you got them all!" Sniz says: "Bubble Bass, Private, I just want you both to know that I had high expectations. And even though its the TWO of you who are here, I STILL expect the BEST from the both of you, even if ONE of you has an unexplainable accent!" Private asks: "What is THAT supposed to mean?!" Bubble Bass, in a mock British accent says: "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Seriously, that's what you SOUND like! Do you even listen to yourself when you TALK?!" Kowalski rolls his eyes, and says: "Heaven knows SKIPPER doesn't! I can't TELL you how many times Skipper managed to Leeroy Jenkins up a WHOLE mission just to prove some stupid point!" Marlene says: "THANK YOU! Someone ELSE gets it!" Spongebob asks: "What in the WORLD is a Leeroy Jenkins?" Squidward says: "You know all those times you failed a Boating Exam with Mrs. Puff? It's pretty much THAT!" Spongebob says: "Oh! Now I know the proper term for THAT!" Squidward says: "Yeah! Remind me of WHY I agreed to come with you two?" Patrick says: "Because you'll be getting paid double-triple overtime COMPARED to what you normally get for a day's work at the Krusty Krab? I remember what I got paid during the times that I've worked there!" Squidward perks up, and says: "Oh, yes! Sweet restitution! All right, I'm in!" Sniz says: "Anyways, the two of you have used the various aspects of your mental strength, to outplay the twelve other contestants, including Tigress, WHEREVER she currently is, who have gathered here, to see you battle against each other! And now, the ball is in THEIR court! It's time for YOU to describe to them, why YOU should be the one to win this half of a season?!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, I'll go FIRST!" Private shrugs, and says: "That's okay, I can wait." (Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "I HAD to go first! Hello! If I let Private talk first, he would probably say something SO charming, I wouldn't be able to top it! At least this way, the other contestants will get to know what I actually think!" / Private says: "Sure, I'm a bit miffed that Bubble Bass wanted to go first, but I've been told that a LITTLE bit of courtesy can go a long way. It usually does for me! Marlene says that besides her, I'm the most courteous animal in the entire New York City Zoo!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Distinguished contestants, and Tigress, if you're listening, I just want to let you know that when I was playing this game, I honestly never thought that I would be the one standing here. I mean, with so many odds stacked up against me, my weight, my initial behavior, my lack of physical skills, and having a hard time saying 'Please' at first, it certainly seemed not in the cards for me to wind up here. However, if I hadn't have established an alliance with Johnny Krill and Tigress, I never would've learned the value of friendship. And while I do intend on being as honest as possible, I don't see as how that has to affect my ability to be nice. Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward, I know that we might have had, differences in the past. But I just want you to know that anything I have done, I only did it because the writers of Spongebob Squarepants demanded that I do. It was nothing personal against any of you. And should you support me in becoming the winner, I will be a graceful one, and treat you all to a wonderful party in Malibu, California, where Blonda currently lives in her house!" And even though it's not unanimous, there is quite a bit of cheering, even from some of the eliminated contestants! Fee says: "I've never BEEN to a party in Malibu, California before! It's BOUND to be a fun one!" Sniz says: "Very well. Private, what do you have to say?" Private says: "Well, first of all, I just want you to know that I have never beared ANY ill will towards any of you; not even Tigress! I just wanted to play to the best of my ability, and be as friendly as possible while doing it. Any moves I made, I made them because I felt like they were the right moves for me, and it was nothing personal against any of you! I just want you to know that if you decide to choose ME to be your winner, I will make sure that all of you will be invited to a party at the New York City Zoo!" And even though there's more cheering, it is STILL not unamious! Kowalski says: "Private! You didn't say you'd be a graceful winner!" Private says: "I wasn't expecting Bubble Bass to give a GOOD speech! That threw me OFF!" (Confessional) Private writes on a notepad and he says: "Note to self; never underestimate ANYBODY'S ability to give a good speech! Not even Bubble Bass!" / Kowalski says: "Somehow, I KNOW that Skipper influenced this!" Rico questioningly asks: "Bleh?" Kowalski replies: "Why?! Because...pick a random reason why! He's THAT crazy!" (End Confessional) Bessie Higgenbottom says: "Oh, yeah! My great, great--." (THUD!!!!) And a giant ice ball suddenly crushes her! Katarra, unconvincingly says: "Oops! I tried to make a snow cone, and I ACCIDENTALLY made the ice too big and hard, and it FELL on Bessie!" Johnny says: "Girl, lying is REALLY not your thing! Your not GOOD at it! You'd NEVER make it trying to write Get Well Cards for people who are really sick, you're too honest!" Katarra nods, and says: "Probably." (Confessional) Katarra says: "I REALLY hope Aang agrees to come back for the NEXT half of this season. Because I honestly don't see how I could POSSIBLY hope to have a chance, against contestants who might lie and deceive me, especially when I don't really HAVE the ability to do the same thing to them!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right. You've heard from the both of them! So it's time to show your support! Will it be green for Bubble Bass, or black for Private?!" Brittany Miller, Theodore Seville, Rico, Kowalski, Po, and Jenny Wakeman, all show their support for Private; while a weary Bessie Higgenbottom, Katarra, Danny Fenton, Fee, and Johnny Krill, all show their support for Bubble Bass! Danny says: "Katarra, I'm surprised that YOU'RE supporting Bubble Bass." Katarra says: "I'm supporting him because of his SHEER honesty, and surprising potential! It's surprised even ME, and that's a rare feet!" (Confessional) Katarra says: "The real test for Bubble Bass' potential will be in the NEXT half-season! Anyone can potentially WIN a season of a game show! The real test of their potential will be to see how long they can last in a subsequent season, when everyone KNOWS exactly what they're capable of! Even though I won't be competing, I can't WAIT to see what Bubble Bass can do!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Well, Private, you have six supporters, that means...you have SIX minutes!" Private asks: "Six minutes for what?" Sniz says: "To prepare for the FINAL challenge! You didn't THINK that it would come down to simple support did you?" Private says: "But I thought you said the ball was in their court!" Sniz says: "It was, to see how much TIME you would get to prepare for the final challenge! I mean, HELLO! Obviously, we're NOT going to do a finale like season two again! That would make it WAY too boring to watch, and no good for us in terms of ratings! And Bubble Bass, since you have five supporters, that means you have five minutes!" Bubble Bass asks: "And what exactly are we preparing for? Spongebob better NOT have to climb into my MOUTH again, people will get the wrong impression about me!" Sniz says: "Don't worry! It will be NOTHING like that! For the ultimate battle between the minds, we're going to have an ACTUAL battle, and we're going to see whose intellect is superior! Or, maybe who is luckier! Take your pick! Anyways, in our electronic storage, we have LOADS of assorted electronic doo-dads and gizmos, all confiscated from various failed schemes by Plankton and Snaptrap, for you to peruse. Using the time you have been alotted, you will have to quickly choose which devices you think, will most help you win a technological battle between the two of you!" Private says: "You mean we have to BUILD something?" Sniz says: "You catch on fast, my feathered friend! Once you've grabbed your stuff, you will build something with the stuff you managed to grab. When it is finished, you will both come out here, and your machines will fight! You can even fight IN the machines for all I care, just so long as we have a fight! And don't worry, if you are injured, Wanda is LEGALLY required to heal all of your injuries!" Squidward asks: "Hey! Why can't I have that on any of the shows that I'M a part of?" Patrick asks: "Would you rather our shows be CANCELLED like The Fairly Oddparents and YOU be out of an ACTUAL job?" (Confessional) Squidward steams, and he says: "I HATE it when DUMB WAD has a point!" / Patrick says: "I've learned quite a bit from watching Squidina work on my show. She works really hard, and has to know a lot to keep things running. While I won't pretend that I know everything that she does, I think I owe it to her to at LEAST pay attention, and hopefully, I'll remember the things that she tries to teach me!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Since Private has the most supporters, he will go first, and have six minutes. Bubble Bass, you may go, once our automated timer hits the five minute mark! And GO!!!!" / And during the six minutes, the edited single version of Jefferson Starship's hit song "Miracles", plays during Private's and Bubble Bass' collecting, than building montage. / Marty Balin sings: "If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. I might have to move heaven and earth, to prove it to you, baby (Baby). So we're makin' love and you feel the power. And I feel the power, then there's really nothing we can't do. (You know we could, you know we could). If we wanted to, baby, (You know we could, you know we could), we could exist on the stars. It'd be so easy. Now, baby. All we gotta do (Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby). Is get a little faith in you (Baby, baby). Oh, I've been so many places, I've seen some things (Yes, I have). I know love is the answer (Yes, it is). Keeps holding this world together, yeah. Ain't nothing better. Ain't nothing better (Nothing's better). And all the answers to our prayers. Nothing ever breaks up the heart (Love's a game now). Only tears give you away (Ain't it a shame now?) Then you're right where I found ya (Oh, baby). With my arms around ya (Oh, baby). O-o-o-o-o-o-oh, baby. Baby, baby. Love is a magic word, ooh, yeah (Baby). Few ever find in a lifetime. But from that very first look in your eyes, I knew you and I had but one heart (Baby). That was so easy (Baby). So easy (Oh, baby). Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), We'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. I can hear windmills and rainbows whenever you're talkin' to me (Never say never). I feel like swirling and dancin' whenever you're walking with me. (Whenever you're walking with me). You make me wanna sing (I love you so). Yeah (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (I love you so). Baby (Oh). Oh, yeah (Oh, yeah). All right (All right). Every time you come by, let me try (Come on by). Pretty please with sugar on it. That's how I like it, ooh. I can't even believe it with you. It's like having every dream I ever wanted come true (Dream of a lifetime). I picked up your vibes, you know, it opened my eyes (Dream of a lifetime). But I'm still dreamin', yeah (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh). And you're right where I found ya (Oh, baby). With my arms around ya (Oh, baby). Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), so would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), So would I. So would I. So would I. Oh, if only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles). So would I. If only you believe like I believe, baby (If only you believe like I believe), we'd get by. If only you believe in miracles, baby (If only you believe in miracles), So would I." / And the song fades out as the montage ends. / Sniz says: "Okay! The collecting and the building is over! It's time to reveal what our two geniuses have managed to build!" Private steps out first; only, he is now WEARING a metallic exo-skin over his entire body, painted black and white, to make him look like a stronger, more metallic version of himself! Brittany asks: "Is that a--?!" Po quickly interrupts: "NO! It's Metal Bird! Can't get sued with Metal Bird!" Jenny says: "Maybe it's a good thing I DIDN'T get into the Final Two after all! Not sure if I could've competed with THAT!" Theodore asks: "Where are his blasters though?" Private says: "I only HAD six minutes! If I had ANOTHER minute, I could've grabbed some!" Sniz says: "Still impressive! Now it's time to see what Bubble Bass has built!" Bubble Bass comes out, wearing a robotic walker that looks like a LARGER, silver, built with BLASTERS, more impressive version of the machine that Ripley wore in the finale of "Aliens"! Fee says: "That is the SECOND coolest machine that I have ever seen! Off hand, I can't think of where I saw the FIRST coolest machine I have ever seen, but I know that it was somewhere!" Bubble Bass says: "I HAD five minutes to work with! I decided to grab the blasters FIRST, so I could have a RANGE advantage over Private!" Fee THINKS about it, and she says: "That, is a pretty good strategy." (Confessional) Fee says: "Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to PRETEND that I had a chance of winning THIS season! I CLEARLY underestimated Bubble Bass! I won't make THAT mistake in the NEXT half of this season! I'll get to be IN it with my friend, Harvey Beaks! WHOO WHOO! I am SO excited for that!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, contestants! You built, so it's time to battle! Ladies, and gentlemen, get ready, for--!" Tigress interrupts: "Why did that STUPID Cosmo LOCK the DOOR?!!!" Master Coelaceanth responds: "If Cosmo IS stupid, do you think he would've LOCKED the door?!" Kowalski's already white feathered face, SOMEHOW manages to BLANCHE even more with fear! Kowalski says: "Don't tell me they managed to make it all the way HERE?!" Jenny says: "Robots aren't PROGRAMMED for fear, and even I'M feeling nervous right now!" Gordon asks: "Well, since you're NOT getting in, can I leave now?" Tigress says: "Oh, we are SO getting in! I did NOT come this far just to give up NOW!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Oh, and just HOW do you propose we GET in anyways?!" Tigress says: "Well, throwing a fish is like throwing a sword, and throwing your sword always works!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "THAT'S your plan?!" Tigress says: "Maybe you didn't HEAR me! I SAID...THROWING...YOUR...SWORD...ALWAYS... WORKS!!!!" Master Coelaceanth yells as suddenly appears plummeting from over the arena walls, and into the center of the building, followed by Gordon STILL in his truck, which lands on TOP of the undead Master Coelaceanth, and than Tigress suddenly leaps OVER the walls, and she lands on top of the truck! Tigress says: "See what I did THERE?! I just threw a SWORD...FISH!" Master Coelaceanth mutters: "Get this...!" Tigress says: "Watch your mouth! Or I WON'T help you!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled yells: "Get this MISERABLE excuse for a truck OFF!" Tigress coyly says: "Say the magic word!" Master Coelaceanth, muffled, yells: "Like, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!" Tigress says: "No, the OTHER magic word!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You're ENJOYING this, aren't you?" Tigress smiles, and says: "Only a LOT!" Master Coelacenath groans, and struggling, says: "Puh...lee...aze!" Bubble Bass says: "Hard to believe that I used to sound like that when saying 'Please'!" Tigress says: "Okay...now say PRETTY please with sugar, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!!!!" Master Coelaceanth LITERALLY shoots out FLAMES from around his body, melting the front half of the truck, quickly FORCING Gordon to get out! And Master Coelaceanth yells: "I'll KILL YOU!!!!" Tigress scoffs, and says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! Do you expect ME to believe THAT?! YOU can't even get RID of one lowly sea sponge!" Master Coelaceanth says: "A problem I mean to rectify IMMEDIATELY!" Sniz says: "HEY! We were about to do a challenge here! Save your vendetta for somewhere else!" Tigress says: "PUH-LEESE!!!! This STOPPED being about Master Coelaceanth's need for revenge like...ages ago!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!!!" Tigress says: "Oh, SURE! You COULD have been useful! I mean, hello! I don't string along guys like you unless I plan on getting good MILEAGE out of it! If you were REALLY evil, you would've outright REFUSED to say Please to me! But, since you did, you're clearly not UP to the job I thought you were! From now on, I'm on my own!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "Wait! You mean to tell me that whole point of that Please ordeal was a secret test of character?" Tigress says: "Well, DUH!!!! And you failed MISERABLY! Just like every other man who's NOT Po has done in MY life!" Po says: "YES!!!! I'm Tigress' number one man in HER life! Although, that doesn't really feel appropriate to celebrate right now for some reason." Johnny rolls his eyes, and he sarcastically says: "NO! Really, do you think?!" (Confessional) Johnny says: "That woman is a terrible, triple-decker, toadstool saurkraut sandwich, with arsenic sauce! I SO hope I don't get put on HER team again next season!" (End Confessional) Tigress says: "Anyways, are you REALLY trying to pull that whole, 'I'm undead and I won't rest until I get revenge against some weak sea sponge who can't even lift a stick with TWO marshmallows on it' thing?!" Spongebob nervously asks: "Who told you THAT?!" Tigress coyly says: "You just TOLD me, you LITERAL block-head!" (Confessional) Spongebob fumes, and he says: "Oh, I HATE it when somebody pulls THAT routine on me!" / Tigress says: "I've known Spongebob's strength from the very start! He's about as much of a threat to me, as an army of balloons is to a porcupine colony! I just want to watch him squirm, while I thrash the FLOOR with Master Coelaceanth! Besides, it will be a good warm-up for the SECOND half of the season! First, I utterly humiliate the undead guy, THAN I'll utterly humiliate Spongebob, but not before I instill a good sense of FEAR into that Sponge! Revenge shouldn't be a quick, forgettable affair. It should be savored, like every victory that I will inevitably WIN in the next half-season!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass says: "Not that I don't doubt your capabilities, but, this is supposed to be OUR battle! Let us FIGHT it!" Tigress says: "Well, if we were REALLY being fair about things, Sniz would let ME fight the both of you, if you're not COWARDS!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "Come on! THINK about it! What in the world would THAT prove?! Sure, you could fight us, we would lose, but would that REALLY make you happy! I've tried going down the whole vendetta route before, Tigress. It DOESN'T work! Just look at Master Coelaceanth!" Tigress says: "Hey! I'm DIFFERENT! I'm capable of doing ANYTHING I put my MIND to, and I KNOW that I can beat you in ANYTHING!!!!" Katarra says: "Except BRAINS!!!!" Tigress yells: "WHAT?!!!" Master Coelaceanth says: "An OPENING!!!!" He tries to produce lightning, but it fizzles out! Master Coelaceanth: "WHAT?! What the hey?!" He keeps TRYING to produce lightning, but NOTHING comes out! Master Coelaceanth screams: "Why isn't my lightning WORKING?!" Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof climb into the arena wall, and they're puffing and totally out of breath. Anti-Cosmo wheezes, and says: "We...finally, got away from that chatty parrot and that dumb dog! Remind me we should NEVER associate with dogs or birds if we can avoid them EVER again!" Anti-Poof says: "You said it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It's about TIME you showed up! Look what your botched spell did to me!" Anti-Cosmo says: "For your information, I DIDN'T botch it! Wanda interrupted my spell by cutting off the access to my power before I could complete it! If I had known that this was going to happen, of COURSE I wouldn't have cast it and left you in this incomplete state!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, you're here now, so cast a spell and bring me back to life again!" Anti-Poof chuckles nervously, and he says: "Uh, funny you should mention that. You see, Wanda, kind of shut off the access point for our powers. We can't restore you even though we really, REALLY want to!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "WHAT?!" Anti-Poof says: "And, your powers were ALWAYS connected to the magical source of OUR powers! When you erupted in flames to melt that truck, you used the very last little residual of magic inside of you that was left in your body. You are out of power. It's over." Master Coelaceanth rhetorically says: "Over? OVER?!!!" He bounds with a great leap towards Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Poof, and Master Coelaceanth says: "NOTHING is over as long as my body is capable of moving! If I can't use my magic, I'll simply have to kill Spongebob with nothing but brute FORCE!!!!" Spongebob says: "Come on! Why do you want to kill ME?! I'm a nice guy!" Squidward asks: "Do you want the LONG story or the short version?" Spongebob says: "Oh, you mean he hates me the same reason YOU seem to hate me for no good reason? Completely belittling me and blaming me for every single thing that goes wrong with YOUR life even when it can't POSSIBLY be MY fault? Hating me for ONLY trying to be friendly with you? Liking you because I actually think you ARE a great Clarinet Player and artist even when very FEW others do? Have I left any OTHER reasons out?" Squidward is stunned, and unable to say a word. Spongebob says: "Yes, Squidward. I know and remember EVERY single occasion that you have SAID that you don't like me, and I'm starting to think that you're not just saying that, because you'd rather be doing something else, like pursue a relationship with Squilivia!" Squidward says: "I haven't seen her in ages! It HAS to be something to do with you!" Bubble Bass says: "Oh, PLEASE! Why don't you just accept the fact that Squilivia was SO far out of your league, that YOU mating with her would've been basically inter-species breeding, and get ON with your sad, pathetic life?!" Wally asks: "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black or something?" Bubble Bass says: "Blonda's case is DIFFERENT! She morphed into the same species of fish as ME, so I don't think it counts!" Master Coelaceanth says: "It doesn't matter WHY I hate you, I just DO! So, come on down and FIGHT me if you want to taste your cold DEATH!" Tigress moves in front of him, and he says: "You're not harming ANYBODY!" Master Coelaceanth asks: "You'd DARE fight ME?!" Tigress says: "Fight you? No, I'm going to DESTROY you!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You THINK you can destroy me?!" Tigress says: "I don't think it, I KNOW it!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, if I'm something that can be stopped, than JUST try to stop me!" Tigress and Master Coelaceanth begin sparring at each other, and Private says: "Woah! Those two are WAY out of my league! I'd NEVER be able to fight Tigress like that!" Marlene says: "Well, SOMEBODY has to stop this! Tigress is PHYSICALLY stronger than Master Coelaceanth, but because he's STILL undead, he can't FEEL pain, so he won't ever need to stop, whereas Tigress' strength will eventually wear out!" Bubble Bass says: "I have an idea! Gordon Quid!" Gordon says: "What do you want?!" Bubble Bass says: "What exactly have you been hauling in your truck?!" Gordon says: "See? SOMEONE cares what I've been hauling!" Tigress says: "Not helping!" Gordon says: "Well, I do have something that MIGHT help, but you might not like it though!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm starting to get a little nervous. What exactly do you have?" Gordon Quid says: "Well, what I have been hauling in my truck, is a whole bunch of deep fry FISH oil!" Johnny Krill nervously yells: "FISH oil?!" Squidward yells: "Fish oil?!" Bubble Bass yells: "Fish oil?!" Spongebob yells: "Fish oil?!" Master Coelaceanth yells: "Fish oil?!" Patrick yells: "Fish Oil?!" Spongebob and Squidward look at him strangely. Patrick says: "WHAT?! No one is THAT stupid!" (Confessional) Squidward says: "In some weird way, I'm beginning to think that Patrick might be right about ONE thing! The mechanations of his inner mind ARE an enigma!" (End Confessional) Bubble Bass looks at his father, and General Barracuda says: "It's your call, son. Just remember what I taught you; follow through." Bubble Bass sighs, and says: "It's the only way to stop him. Gordon, fill my firing mechanisms up with that stuff!" Gordon asks: "You WANT to help Tigress?!" Bubble Bass says: "I'm planning for the next half-season! Tigress will owe me a FAVOR, then! I give her a favor now, for a favor later!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You think I'm just going to LET you DOUSE me with that stuff?!" Private says: "No, but I CAN help hold you BACK!" And Private uses his metal arm extenders, to keep Master Coelaceanth in place! Master Coelaceanth yells: "No! Let me go! Let me go!" Private says: "After the way you threatened Spongebob? You're out of your mind!" Master Coelaceanth says: "Bubble Bass, you can't fire that thing! What will that MAKE you?! It would make you absolutely no DIFFERENT from me! You'd be no different than you're FATHER at his worst!" Bubble Bass says: "You're wrong! I only want to STOP you! You're interested in destroying the whole ocean! I can't ALLOW that!" Master Coelaceanth says: "You fool! If you douse ME, what's to stop THEM from dousing the REST of your kind?! You're seafood to them! They will HUNT you! They will EAT you! They'll destroy EVERYTHING that you cherish until there is nothing LEFT of Bikini Bottom! Is THAT what you WANT?!!!" Bubble Bass says: "YOU fool! That's NOT going to happen even if YOU are alive, so it doesn't even MATTER! Sorry, Master Coelaceanth, but it's hook, line, and SINKER!!!!" And Bubble Bass FIRES the hot deep fry oil onto Master Coelaceanth, turning him from an undead corpse into a gigantic fish fry! Tigress says: "A fish fry! How poetic! I've always WANTED to sink my teeth into a fresh FISH meal!!!!" Even without a functional mouth, Master Coelaceanth SOMEHOW manages to scream: "No, no, NO!!!!" And the camera turns to face Patrick as loud chomping is heard off-screen from his vantage point. Patrick says: "See? Unlike SOME shows, we have the decency to turn the camera AWAY from footage like that, even if he WAS evil!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, it looks like Master Coelaceanth's story has been wrapped up, with absolutely NO loose ends to tie up!" Than Tigress' eyes briefly glow GLOWING red, and a sinister voice lowly says: "Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Bubble Bass says: "Than again, maybe not. But we'll deal with it during the NEXT half season IF it becomes a problem and NOT before!" Sniz says: "That's great and all, but, we STILL have a challenge to finish, and you've WASTED enough time as it is! We need to find out who are winner is! And NO more fish oil!" Bubble Bass says: "Fair enough! It's time to see how strong YOUR suit really is, Private!" Private says: "What are you saying?" Bubble Bass says: "Meet me head on I want to see how well you REALLY made your suit!" Private says: "All right, then! Just remember, YOU asked for it!" And as Private shoots like a rocket towards Bubble Bass, Bubble Bass says: "Bubble up!" And Bubble Bass quickly puts up a gigantic bubble, but the resulting collision STILL breaks both of their mechanical creations apart, and the two of them are weary, wobbling on their last legs! General Barracuda says: "Come on, son! Stay up!" Kowalski says: "Don't fall down now, Private!" Sniz says: "Well, looks like it might come down to luck after all Could one move mean ALL the difference in the world?!" And in a split second difference, Private falls down first, and Bubble Bass falls RIGHT on top of him! Private says: "Bubble Bass, get your BUTT out of my FACE!!!!" Bubble Bass says: "I can't move! Deal with it!" Wally says: "Bubble Bass has pinned Private! You have to start the countdown!" Marlene says: "Right! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! It's over! It's all over! Bubble Bass has won Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back!" General Barracuda rushes to Bubble Bass' side, and gets him out of the wrecked metal! General Barracuda says: "Son, this has been the best season I have ever been part of. I find a son, and I lose an enemy. You did your old man proud, today." Bubble Bass says: "Well, somebody had to stop Master Coelaceanth. And if I didn't, who would?" Master Coelaceanth says: "Well, I've been saving something special for such a special occasion. Why don't I buy dinner with all the pearls I've been kepping in the lake?" Bubble Bass says: "PEARLS?! Those were YOUR pearls?!" General Barracuda says: "You know about them? How?" Bubble Bass says: "I found them in the very first episode of the competition! I didn't know they were yours! If I did, I never would've taken them!" General Barracuda says: "Well, those pearls WERE my retirement nest egg...but, you DO have a family of your own that you will soon have to think of. And I've kind of grown to like working here anyways. I'd say the money is yours for taking care of Master Coelaceanth! You've more than earned it!" Bubble Bass says: "Well, the money isn't just for me. I've learned a lot from everyone who came here. With $24 million, it's not exactly EASY to come up with a 14 way split. I know! I'll use $21 million to split evenly between us fourteen contestants, so we'll each get $1.5 million, and the rest I can use as a nest egg to support Blonda and my son!" General Barracuda says: "Sounds like a plan to me!" Kowalski comes to Private, and he asks: "Are you all right?" Private says: "I'm fine. I can't believe I forgot that Bubble Bass could make bubbles! It was just, the heat of the fight, and the fact completely slipped my mind!" Kowalski says: "Well, I guess we all make mistakes sometimes, but at the very least, you can always choose to learn from them. And if it's any consolation, both Marlene and I will be around to support you in the next half-season." Private says: "Thank you, Kowalski. That means a lot to me." Bubble Bass says: "No need to worry! I have decided to split the prize money evenly! An even $100,000 split between all fourteen contestants, EVEN Tigress!" Tigress says: "It was never about the money for me, just for the title! I might have lost the title THIS time! But just wait for the NEXT half of the season, and, watch out everyone!" Sniz says: "I'll fly everyone to Bubble Bass' party at Malibu, California on my PRIVATE LEAR Jet! Fondue, I'll let YOU close off the season!" Fondue excitedly says: "Really?! I'd be glad to!" Sniz, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, General Barracuda, Wally, Marlene, and all the contestants get on the plane. And as it leaves over the horizon, Fondue says: "And that has been Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back! We'll be going into production pretty soon for the second half of Season Four, so when we come back, we will find out who will be participating, in Total Cartoon Legends!" Than police sirens wail, and Police Officers Bob and Nancy jump out of their police cars, and Gordon says: "That's the guy! That's who's responsible for MY suffering!" Police Officer Nancy says: "Fondue Brokowski, you are under arrest!" Fondue asks: "On what charges?!" Police Officer Nancy pulls out a list, and she says: "Hiring scab labor during a union strike, utilizing dangerous black magic known to cause effects such as baldness, temporary gigantic growth, involuntary invisibility, involuntary age regression, reanimating a dead, dangerous pyschopath and the like; turning a blind eye to Anti-Cosmo's blatant cheating in regards to Tigress, letting General Barracuda help Bubble Bass have an unfair advantage in a challenge, sending contestants into a dark cave without proper cave safety equipment, utilizing LIVE cannon ammunition on a pirate ship, allowing contestants to steal and than later use a death ray laser...thingy, reckless endangerment of a contestant's life in regards to Private, allowing Bubble Bass and Po to run around naked without a proper permit, allowing four super dangerous villains to invade and distrupt a challenge simultaneously, not checking Jenny Wakeman for dangerous weaponry BEFORE she entered the competition, wrecking a dance studio and violating the terms of a deposit, allowing Tigress and Master Coelaceanth to take Gordon Quid hostage, and reckless usage of deep fry fish oil in the presence of aquatic sea creatures! And let's not forget, you decided to take ALL the responsibility of ANYTHING that happened this season, Fondue!" Fondue gulps nervously, and he suddenly realizes that Sniz HAD a point after all at the beginning of the season, and all Fondue can say is: "Oh, boy! I am in SO much trouble when Sniz finds out about this." Anti-Cosmo says: "I'm not poofing anything!" Anti-Poof says: "And why is that?!" They both sing: "Cause we're on STRIKE!!!!" / And the episode ends! / Episode Notes: Canon ending where Bubble Bass wins. Featured music in this episode, The Beatles "Hey Jude" (in the alternate version), the "We're On Strike Reprise" from "Rocko's Modern Life" in the canon version, and an edited version of Jefferson Starship's "Miracles" in the canon version. Master Coelaceanth's threat is stopped due to the fact that Tigress LITERALLY makes a meal out of him, but due to the fact that menacing laughter comes out from Tigress after she has eaten him, this might not be the LAST of Master Coelaceanth's threat to the contestants. It is revealed to Squidward that Spongebob HAS been remembering all the previous times Squidward has blamed him for something, even if it was for something that couldn't POSSIBLY be his fault! Fondue Brokowski gets arrested for all the illegal actions that has been performed in this episode. / Personal Notes: Don't get me wrong, this was actually challenging for me, trying to write the same episode, but different enough, so that you would be interested in seeing the alternative ending. I'm kind of glad I didn't attempt this sooner, I might not have been able to pull it off this well. Anyways, I'll be coming up with the roster of contestants for the second half of season four when I am able. I just want to let you know that this has actually been fun for me. I hope it was fun for you to. Enough said, true believers!
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