Jjs Goodman

Posting this one for Clappy to conclude Season 6. Episode 48: What If...Clappy Finished Writing His Episode? In the SBC multiverse, there are infinite timelines… timelines where episodes were written, timelines where they weren’t… and timelines where the writer stared at a blank document for six hours straight and decides to watch another reboot of a television show that ran out of ideas years ago. Clappy sits at a computer. The document reads: “Episode Idea:” …and nothing else. Empty cans. Crumpled notes. Tabs open: “How to get ideas fast”, “Is writer’s block real?”, and “Funny SpongeBob A.I. plot generator.” Clappy groans. Clappy: Okay… 4EverGreen falls in love with a cellphone…the Nostalgia Critic parody knocks them dead with laughter… Squidward torture porns and Patrick is a prick… why isn’t this working?! The cursor blinks. Mockingly. The Lurker: In most timelines… this is where Clappy gives up and doom scrolls on Twitter/X. Clappy opens another blank document. Still nothing. When all of a sudden, the room shakes. The computer glitches. A portal opens. Clappy: …What is Jjs doing here? Jjs: I am here from a timeline where you actually finished writing something. Clappy: That’s impossible….I rarely finish writing something! Jjs: Exactly…. Jjs pulls out a glowing notebook labeled: “IDEAS.” Inside are ridiculous plots: The Krusty Towers becomes a moving hotel. Pierce’s life becomes a knockoff of How I Met Your Mother Spin-off Action gets rebooted for the fifteenth time And Then There Were Less: The Final Season actually wraps up coherently. Clappy stares. Clappy: …These are terrible. Jjs: Yes. Clappy: But… they’re all old ideas. Jjs nods. Jjs: The secret is simple. Write bad ideas first. Then they become good ideas…and then you can sell all your bad ideas in your own store for people to buy and desecrate even further Somewhere out there, tvguy347 lifts his head overhearing this. Meanwhile, Clappy pauses. Then starts typing. Epic montage music plays. Clappy types furiously as even more ideas appear on the screen: “Patrick is not a prick” “Squidward does the torturing” “Plankton starts a podcast” Clappy laughs as he types more and the blank page is no more. Clappy leans back. The document now reads: “EPISODE COMPLETE.” He smiles proudly. Clappy:…Wait. This actually worked. Jjs checks his Google Docs. Jjs: This timeline is now stabilized. The multiverse reopens as Jjs leaves. Clappy opens a new document as the title reads: “Next Episode Idea:” The cursor blinks again and Clappy freezes. Five minutes pass. Ten days pass. Clappy: …Oh no. The Lurker (dramatically): In this universe… Clappy finished an episode. But the greatest challenge remained… Writing the next one. See you this summer for Season 7.

We have another rare staff change: @OWM has decided to retire from the moderator position after serving for 8 whole years (!), making him the longest serving moderator. Rumors say he may go back to stepping in seaweed medleys, so watch out for that. @dmandagiraffe has been promoted to Cashier to take his place! He has done a great job helping out with games such as Jackbox over the past few years so we felt this was the most deserved choice. He will continue to help with events in this position and keep watch of everything with his long giraffe neck.

You got a rice ball! Thank you for your prayers!

You got 10 doubloons! Thank you for your prayers! You got the most important meal of the day! Thank you for your prayers! You got the Gary Shade collectable! Thank you for your prayers!

Episode 8: 50 Ways to Make Me Laugh This bizarre music video has quite a motley crew. Also, there are only 11 ways to say goodbye instead of 50. False advertising at its finest. David Hasselhoff: After standing around looking confused the whole video (as you probably were too), Hoff thought “well that was weird” and never appeared in another Train music video again. He doesn’t even remember how he met Pat Monahan or why he showed up to this. Maybe he imagined the whole thing like that time he let a sponge and starfish ride his back. Years later, he would eventually show off his singing talents in a much better song. The Mariachi Trio: The Mariachi Trio were not compensated enough for their fantastic performance here, so they moved to Tentacle Acres where they would form a musical rivalry with the area’s Clarinet Trio. The Cashier: After this life changing experience, The Cashier bragged to his friends that he met Pat Monahan, to which they replied “who?” He would eventually quit this barely minimum wage job and would apply for jobs at locations Train music videos take place in, hoping to meet the band again. He never did. The Grim Reaper: After realizing Pat gave him the wrong items, the Reaper attempted to steal his soul, but it turns out Pat radiates such an uncanny aura that his soul cannot be taken. The Reaper is then trapped in You Can Finally Meet My Mom for all eternity, stealing celebrity souls for Pat’s death note list. A fate worse than death. The Lion: The Lion was not happy about his short screentime despite what Pat initially promised. He also didn’t get to actually eat anyone, lame. Years later, the lion lended his talents as Mufasa for the Lion King (2019) remake. His stunning delivery of “Simbuhh, *cough* you can’t escape your destiny!” was seen as a memorable career ending performance. He is currently unsure if he regrets that or this more. Wait, this isn’t Characters in Train Music Videos: Where Are They Now? Oops. Help me help me, I’m no good at goodbyes. (April Fools)

As enshrined in Gary's will, we are giving several cans of Snail Po with prizes inside. Say something thoughtful in Gary's memory to receive your can. You only get one.

We gather with heavy hearts to remember Gary the Snail who tragically passed away tonight. He was a respected member of his community and a quiet soul whose gentle presence left an imprint far greater than his small shell might suggest. He was always at the center of warmth, companionship, and simple joy. With a soft “meow” and a steady gaze, he reminded us that love doesn’t have to be complicated or grand to be real. It can be patient. It can be constant. It can be as simple as being there. His life, though tragically cut short, was filled with meaning. Gary taught us about a kind of loyalty that doesn’t waver. He showed us curiosity, the quiet courage to explore the world at your own pace. And above all, he embodied trust, offering it freely in a world that doesn’t always deserve it. What makes this loss especially painful is not just that Gary is gone, but how he was taken. There is something deeply unsettling about a life so innocent ending in such a brutal way. It reminds us how wholesome goodness can be and how important it is to protect it wherever we find it. But today is not only about grief. It is also about remembrance. We remember the way Gary brightened ordinary days. The comfort he brought without asking for anything in return. The beautiful uniqueness of who he was: unapologetically himself, and all the more lovable for it. Though his shell is now still, his memory is not. It lives on in our hearts and minds forever. Rest peacefully, Gary. You were loved more than words can hold and you will not be forgotten. Gary has come home. (April Fools)

Congratulations to @WinterArcanine who has the most seeds and is crowned this year's Ultimate Gamer!

You got 30 exp! That was your final turn!

Your vehicle crashed! That was your final turn!

You got 100 seeds! That was your final turn!

You cannot.

Plankton tripped! That was your final turn! You got 300 doubloons! That was your final turn!