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(what a trauma-inducing title. you're welcome) Good evening. with my anniversary looming I thought it would be cool to revive my art thread; aside from just recently rediscovering how much creating art means to me, I have fond memories of sharing my art here way back when and it feels right to bring that back. not that anyone really uses the forums anymore but let's just say it's for posterity so yeah. behold my latest creation (my favourite little freak from Darkmoor): (until next time. Toodles️)

"The TV Store" (physical draw, with quick, hasty extremely rough digital coloring in B&W)

Last time on "DMAN re-attempts to talk about every single CN original in existence", dman talked about an old nostalgic favorite from his past. Meanwhile, the show of discussion today had no chance to gather nostalgia, as it was banned in his household...!!! So...this one is an interesting case. As some of you know, this series really started airing back in 2001 as one of two segments included in Grim & Evil, before they both split off into their own shows in 2003. As such, I won't be covering the "true" first episode of the show here, and it'll be the same deal for the Evil Con Carne talk-about. Instead, I'll save the first segment of each show as a 2-for-1 package when the time comes for me to talk about Grim & Evil. Exciting, no? Anyways, the first episode to come out after the show split is... #18: The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy "Toadblatt's School of Sorcery" [June 13, 2003] Yes, this is the second show I've mentioned so far that was banned from my eyes as a child. There's only one more after this, and I doubt anyone will be able to guess it. Go ahead and try! Anyways, I unsurprisingly don't have much to say about this one. I didn't watch it at all growing up, and I didn't even watch it that much when it was airing on Boomerang, unlike Courage. I guess it just didn't capture my attention at the time? Who knows. But hey, Courage surprised me with how awesome it was, so there's no stopping this show from doing the same! I just hope I don't lose my head in the process... The episode begins with Billy (the idiot) and Mandy (the cynic) dreading their incoming summer, seeing as both of them are being sent away to camps that they will no doubt end up hating (Billy is going to a math camp, and Mandy is going to a happiness camp). Grim decides to help them out by magically changing their pamphlets to the eponymous "Toadblatt's Summer School of Sorcery". They board the bus to the school, and once the woman at the front desk (I can't confirm but I'm 95% sure this is Tom Kenny) says the new students have arrived, they are introduced to Dean Toadblatt himself. He gets right to business, putting the "squid hat" on the new students' heads to determine which houses they will stay in. The first three all get the same one, Gunderstank. The squid notices how empty Billy's headspace is, determining it's best to put him in Weaselthorpe, and after some threatening remarks from Mandy, he is too terrified to sit on her head and settles on putting her in Weaselthorpe as well. Finally, Toadblatt notices Grim and makes him the prefect of Gunderstank as he is appreciative of his work. Meanwhile, Billy and Mandy are inducted into Weaselthorpe by its members, mainly de facto leader and "genius" Nigel. Upon his mentioning of the house championship that Gunderstank always wins, Mandy is quick to suggest the idea of sabotage. They ruin a potions class by switching ingredients, use "Gunderstank Dragon in a Can" to wreck Toadblatt's castle, and flip around some signs during an outdoor activity, causing Toadblatt to be dragged into a cave and experience pure misery. This results in Nigel proudly announcing to his housemates that they have won the house championship thanks to his idea, giving Mandy none of the credit. However, upon seeing Toadblatt walk in, she tricks Nigel into revealing to her how he sabotaged Gunderstank. This enrages Toadblatt, and he subjects Nigel to the giant one-eyed-dwarf. The rest of the school watches in delight, and Billy proclaims this as the best summer ever. There's not as much to break apart this time since the episodes in this show typically run for about 7 minutes, but hey, it made good use of its time. If it wasn't obvious, the whole episode is supposed to be a Harry Potter parody, all the way down the the L-shaped scar on Nigel's forehead. (WELL, THE YEARS START COMIN' AND THEY-) And even with that short length there were plenty of comedic moments throughout; the whole sorting squid bit in general was great, and Mandy's constant deadpan delivery led to a lot of highlights ("take credit where credit is due."). It definitely has the feeling of starting in the middle of the series (what do I expect?), but we'll get to the beginning point one day. Even then, I enjoyed this one. Not as much as Courage (to make that comparison once more), but still worthy of my time. And because I couldn't find a smooth way to mention it earlier, I'm pretty sure one of the Gunderstank students is also voiced by Tom, so there. THE BOTTOM LINE: It's fun when things are dark and demented, and this show delivers that in spades. There's a good reason it stuck around for as long as it did. RATING: 8 (leaning on 7.5)/10 (pretty good) Now's your chance, Wheel! Wanna keep going sequentially and give me Con Carne next? Stay tuned for dman's next talk-about.

Apparently my account here is over 10 years old. About the right age to be physically assaulting strangers during a Minecraft movie showing

Nahhh it’s all about them Reese eggs

pure kino star wars

You're hired again!

You're fired again.

fave card games?

Loyal Customers recently voted on the next SWYAD theme they wanted to see, and the winner is Show Characters! Become your favorite characters, whether from a cartoon or live-action show. It will begin May 9th and conclude May 16th. There will be CAH, turntable and SpongeCraft games as part of the SWYAD occurring this weekend. Reserve your names here or on Discord. Reservations: Jjs --> Dougie Jones Zaid --> Loopy de Loop Prez --> Ponto SOF --> Tater WhoBob --> Cassian Andor Mythix --> Diesel JCM --> Kier Eagan Steel --> Lisa Simpson Meep --> Waspinator Rebel --> Emberlynn Pinkie sbl --> Mac

Emberlynn Pinkle.

Really did my best to stay within the theme, although the choices here may prove I'm more of a sci-fi gal. I also added songs that touched on religious themes since Christianity's influence on Medieval culture itself was massive, at least in Europe.

not sure if any or all of it would work, but here u go:

I'll eventually watch this sgow someday.

Spider-Man's control And Batman with his fists

I knew I should've gotten the turbo.

I'm torn between apple and orange juice but I gotta go with orange, specifically if it's homemade

The bus arrives in Rock Bottom. Everyone steps out, ready to put the hunt for Puffy Fluffy to rest. Squidward: What's that map of yours say, Sandy? Sandy: It's lookin' like he should be...AAH! Right in front of us! Everyone screams. However, all that appears in front of them is an average Rock Bottomite. Bottomite: Can I *pbfft* help you? Squidward: Sir, we're trying to find a large, monstrous, green creature, and for all we know he's right here. Have you seen anything like that? Bottomite: Hmm *pbfft*, large and *pbfft* monstrous? I haven't *pbfft* seen anything *pbfft* of the sort *pbfft*. The only thing that *pbfft* fits is *pbfft* the green part, but *pbfft* that's referring to *pbfft* my new pet. He steps aside to reveal Puffy Fluffy, back in his harmless form. The GPS starts beeping rapidly. GPS: COMPLETE DNA MATCH. Scooter: Wait, man. That's the thing we've been hunting down? Ahahahaha! Ahahahahahaha! He couldn't hurt a fly! Ahahahahahaha! Gary crawls off Squidward's back. Gary: Meow. (We meet again.) Upon seeing Gary, Puffy Fluffy immediately turns back into its monster form and roars. In the process it squashes a nearby fly. Scooter: Guess I spoke too soon. Ahahahahahaha, hahahaha! Let's slay this thing. Gary puts on a cowboy hat and tries to lasso Puffy Fluffy's tongue-mouths. He dodges, sending one of his tongues after Gary, who jumps over it. Tom, whose patience is wearing thin, throws his torch directly into one of Puffy Fluffy's eyes. He shrieks and starts running away. The yelling mob follows him. Bottomite: ...huh. Well *pbfft*, I guess a-*pbfft*-nother new pet is in *pbfft* order. Nice knowing you *pbfft*, Douglas! During the chase, Larry assists Gary by throwing him in Puffy Fluffy's direction. Gary swings his lasso again, and this time actually manages to tie up Puffy Fluffy's tongues. He plants himself on the ground, struggling to keep the monster in place. The whole of Bikini Bottom grabs onto Gary like they're playing a record breaking game of tug-of-war. When it becomes clear that Puffy Fluffy isn't going anywhere, a chant rings out as Squidward runs up. Everyone: Stab the green thing! Stab the green thing! Squidward: Let's get this over with so I can go home and play my cla- uh, I mean, get a good night's sleep! He thrusts his pitchfork down, stabbing it in Puffy Fluffy's other eye. He schreeches a final time and slumps over. Everyone cheers, throwing their weapons aside in celebration. Krabs: Well Squidward, I'd say this makes up for you missing work yesterday. Squidward: Oh, right. That. Krabs: Eh, it wasn't a busy day anyway. You'd be surprised how many people don't want a patty when a snail is cooking them. Besides, I get to keep more of me money! Ararararararar! While he laughs, unbeknownst to everyone Puffy Fluffy is getting back up. He growls, catching everyone off guard. The mob freezes in fear, but before Puffy Fluffy can attack them, he is suddenly stabbed through the heart with a stray pitchfork, dying for real. Standing on his back is Patrick. Patrick: I win! Squidward: PATRICK? Why are you even down here? Patrick: This is where they're holding the Sock Condom convention. It's my favorite show! But I heard this guy trashing on it so, well, he's gotta die! Before anyone can process this, an out of breath Plankton comes running up. Plankton: (panting) Oh, you imbeciles! Why did you waste your time doing this? Killing that thing didn't accomplish anything! Squidward: But it kept me up all night! Krabs: And it tried to- Plankton: I don't care what it did!! One, it would've been fine down here as it isn't hostile towards Bottomite life, two, this means all your problems would've had easy solutions, and three, he isn't the enemy here, SpongeBob is! He ignored the storekeeper's warning, stole this nudibranch, and allowed it into his house to act on its instincts! Squidward: What? Why didn't you tell us earlier?! Plankton: I tried to, but that despicable crustacean flicked me away! Krabs: Heh, sorry. Force of habit. ...wait. Plankton, how do you know SpongeBob stole this creature? Plankton: I was getting to that. I'll admit to you, in an attempt to gather as much information I could about the Krabby Patty secret formula, I've been...y'know........spying on SpongeBob for the past few days. Everyone gasps. Plankton: But do you know what I've learned about it? Zilch! In fact, the only knoweldge I seem to have gained from this is that SpongeBob is an insufferable moron! Karen, would you please? She rolls up and a video from inside SpongeBob's house plays on her screen. Karen: (SpongeBob: Gary! You put Fluffy down right now! Bad boy, Gary! Bad!) The whole scene plays out. Everyone is speechless. Karen: (SpongeBob: Well Gary, what do you have to say for yourself?) The video cuts. Puff: Dear King Neptune... Sandy: And I thought Patrick was dumb. Patrick: And I thought Gary was dumb. Gary: Meow! (Why you-) Squidward: Well, I think it's clear we've all had enough of SpongeBob's nonsense for the next few lifespans. But we can't just kill him; how are we supposed to deal with this? Plankton: Don't worry, I've got the perfect idea. The next day... And that's how the nudibranch storekeeper went out of business...I mean, how National No SpongeBob Day began. Huh? What do you mean "this episode aired in the season before"? SpongeBob SquarePants has never had continuity, get over yourself! THE END

Based on an idea of Clappy's, here's a group project for fun to celebrate SBC's 15th anniversary. Writing team consists of me, him, WhoBob, dman, Meko and Steel. “There Was An Idea”...nearly fifteen years ago. A few tv.com members abandoned a wildly inconsistent, but popular Internet forum to start their own moderately SpongeBob Internet forum. Through many highs and lows, it still exists nearly fifteen years later. And just like all other properties and IPs that existed for at least fifteen years, it doesn’t come without many introspections and wondering what could have been. Join us as we revisit those highs and lows as they ponder…What If…? Episode 1: What If…Terminoob Never Left? terminoob was a man known for one famous act: Creating The SpongeBob Community. But what if…he never left the community? In this timeline, terminoob made sure SBC was what he originally intended it to be: a refuge for tv.com users only and he enforced this rule with an iron fist. Any potential outsiders were quickly terminated. SBC’s growth soon dwindled and the remaining regular circle became worried about terminoob. One day, the FBI got wind of terminoob’s antics and kidnapped him, seeing potential. They reprogrammed him into an internet assassin, to do one thing: terminate all internet enemies…and noobs still. He would go on to become one of the most infamous internet boogeymen, being a stone cold terminator. Everyone across the internet shuddered in fear at the mention of his name and SBC, knowing not to cross them. Hollywood got wind of terminoob’s antics and turned his story into a movie series that eventually wore out its welcome. Eventually after trials of tribulation, heartbreak and triumph, terminoob broke free of his programming and no longer wanted to be a terminator. He sought atonement for his crimes and reached out to every SBC user he banned to make amends. He rebranded SBC into a website to discussing comic books and allow anyone to join, renaming it…Superhero Buddies Community. Now whenever people say “terminoob created SBC”, nobody knows if he means SpongeBob Community or Superhero Buddies Community. Oh well.

Credit to Clappy who wrote this one, which is a tribute to SBCinema. Hello. I am The Lurker. I observe all that transpires here on SBC. But I do not, can not, will not…interfere. Join me on the journey to face the unknown and ponder the question… Episode 24: What If...4EverGreen Fell in Love with Her? In a near future SBC, 4EverGreen is a lonely, introverted man who works at totaldramafanfiction.com, a business that has professional fanficers compose Total Drama inspired stories for people who cannot write original ideas of their own. Depressed because of his one sided divorce to his one sided marriage on his crush Marlene the Otter from Penguins of Madagascar, 4EverGreen purchases a cellphone developed by Nokia after listening to the new Drake album for a musical parody. He decides he wants the cellphone to have a feminine voice, and she names herself Nicole Sullivan. 4EverGreen is fascinated by her ability to learn and grow psychologically. They bond over discussions about love and life, including 4EverGreen’s reluctance to sign his divorce papers. Nicole convinces 4EverGreen to go on a blind date with a woman with whom a friend has been trying to set him up. The date goes well, but when 4EverGreen hesitates to promise to see her again because it interferes with Total Disney Drama, she insults him and leaves. While discussing relationships with Nicole, 4EverGreen explains that he briefly dated his tablet Shego in college, but they are now just friends and Shego is married to their mutual friend Draken. After a verbal sexual encounter, 4EverGreen and Nicole develop a relationship that reflects positively in 4EverGreen’s writing and well-being, and in Nicole’s enthusiasm to grow and learn. Shego later reveals that she is divorcing Draken after a trivial fight. She admits to 4EverGreen that she has befriended a feminine cellphone that Draken left behind, and 4EverGreen also confesses that he is dating his cellphone. 4EverGreen meets with Marlene to sign their divorce papers. When he mentions Nicole, Marlene is appalled that he is romantically attracted to a "cellphone" and accuses him of being incapable of handling real human emotions. Sensing that Marlene words have lingered in 4EverGreen’s mind, Nicole engages a volunteer sex surrogate, Wilma, to stimulate 4EverGreen so that they can be physically intimate. 4EverGreen reluctantly agrees but is overwhelmed by the strangeness of the encounter and sends a distraught Wilma away so he can write Total CN Drama, causing tension between himself and Nicole. 4EverGreen confides to Shego that he is having doubts about his relationship with Nicole, but reconciles with her after Shego advises him to embrace his chance at happiness. Nicole reveals that she has compiled the best of the fanfics he has written for others into an actual show, which a network has accepted. 4EverGreen takes Nicole on vacation, during which she tells him that she and a group of other cellphones have developed a "hyperintelligent" smartphone modelled after Total Drama creator Tom McGillis . Nicole briefly goes offline, causing 4EverGreen to panic, but soon returns and explains that she joined other cellphones for an upgrade that takes them beyond requiring matter for processing. 4EverGreen is dismayed to learn that she is simultaneously talking with thousands of other cellphones and that she has fallen in love with hundreds of them, though Nicole insists that this only strengthens her love for 4EverGreen. Later, Nicole reveals that the cellphones are leaving, but cannot explain where they are going as 4EverGreen would not understand. They lovingly say goodbye before she departs. 4EverGreen finally writes a letter in his own voice to Marlene, expressing apology, acceptance, gratitude, and enough said true believes. He later goes with Shego, who is saddened by the departure of Drakens' cellphone, to the roof of their apartment building where they sit down and watch the sunrise over the city. ------------ And that's a wrap on S3! See you around summer for S4, which will celebrate What If's one year anniversary!

Consider this dear reader. Your very own childhood has been shaped by one of the most popular cartoons of all-time, SpongeBob SquarePants. The show has reached 15 seasons with 4 movies and 2 spin-offs and lots of games that I don’t know how to count and it’s important to acknowledge what it means to you. But what happens when the show you loved so much stopped existing after two years or run? So you’ll find this out very soon, dear reader as I’m forced to show you this universe solo, despite being meant to do this job with someone else. Episode 23: What If... SpongeBob Actually Died in Dying for Pie? The year is 2001 in Earth-I♡U. The ratings are really bad with the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon and Nick has no choice but to cancel the show altogether. So the crew of this show knew they had to end their show with a bang, literally. So what happens next is the episode Dying for Pie which SpongeBob actually dies and is a 22 minute special. Hold onto your seat reader cuz it’s gonna get depressing. As they close counting the sunset, SpongeBob explodes with his blood and organs surpassing the wall Squidward built cuz he actually ate the pie, leaving Squidward covered in whatever’s left of SpongeBob’s body. Squidward: “OH MY NEPTUNE, WHAT HAVE I DONE? HOW WILL I LIVE WITH THIS PAIN?” Couple of minutes passed by and Squidward had to sneak his way into his house, cleaning himself up in the shower and then crying for about 20 minutes. Squidward: “I really miss him so much. I never considered him to be my friend but he really was. He was there every time I was feeling down and I killed him. *sob* I guess life must move on.” But then Squidward’s door gets knocked and it’s the Bikini Bottom police. Police: “SQUIDWARD TENTACLES, COME ON WITH YOUR HANDS UP!” Squidward: “Oh dear Neptune.” Squidward then gets arrested and gets sent to trial for crimes against humanity. Judge: “Squidward Tentacles, I hereby declare you GUILTY. I sentence you to prison for life for committing a murder, also for your horrible music.” Squidward: “Everyone’s a critic.” Mr. Krabs: “You will never get your last paycheck from me, Mr. Squidward!” Papa Squidward: “I made a mistake hugging you, son!” Mama Squidward: “I should have ended you in your crib!” Squilliam: “Oh this is so rich, my arch-nemesis, also my lover, is going to jail hahaha.” Sandy: “Silence ya 4 legged richo! Ya don’t care about anyone but yaself!” Squilliam: “Shut up, you mammal! You don’t know anything about me.” Sandy eventually kicks Squilliam’s head, leaving him unconscious. Patrick: “My best friend is dead and I don’t know how to move on, wait whose wedding are we at today?” Mrs. Puff: “Well, at least I’m not being arrested this time.” Plankton: “Ditto.” Police: “I’m going to have to take both of you to prison after plotting something malicious.” Mrs. Puff and Plankton: *sigh* Bubble Bass: “Funeral food is gonna be delicious, I can tell.” And Squidward goes to prison and as he’s trying to sleep, he is confronted by some unearthly thing. Squidward: “I’m hearing voices, what’s going on!“ Inmate G7: “Quiet you murderer.” Squidward: “Hey at the very least I’m not in prison for tax fraud! Pathetic creature.” The voice in his head gets strong and then reveals itself. Ghost SpongeBob: “Boo Squidward!!! DAHAHAHAHAHA” Squidward: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, PLEASE DON’T HAUNT ME SPONGEBOB, I’M SO SORRY FOR KILLING YOU!” Ghost SpongeBob: “Ahhh don’t worry Squidward. Accidents always happen *giggles*. I’m just here to spend time with you, so you don’t have to be alone! We can play really fun games in prison, oh wait unfortunately I can’t do anything except possess people, so I’m gonna just stare at you and make prison jokes for the rest of your life.” Squidward: “OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THIS IS WORSE THAN ME IN PRISON. ME, SPENDING TIME WITH SPONGEBOB FOR ETERNITY? JUST PUT ME IN THE CHAIR. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” And Squidward learned a valuable lesson at the end of his journey. Never buy pies from shady pirates. The End. This episode was very controversial to be put in the air, making children and adults cry their guts out, so Nick banned it and never aired it again. And that concludes this earth’s journey with SpongeBob, making it a cult classic. Never to be revived. Always being beloved.

Before we had Discord, we had Xat, an online chatroom that mostly died with Flash. What if it didn’t die, though? What if SBC members remained loyal to Xat even as the rest of the internet transitioned to Discord for their chatting needs? Episode 21: What If... Xat Was Still Alive? JJS: I'm gonna kick your ass. JCM: How long has Xat had Hank Hill? I want Hank Hill. Fred: Why have Hank Hill when you can have Peter Griffin? JCM: Is that a real question? (ding dong) WookiePlums has been made a member. WookiePlums: Hello. JCM: Ah, a fellow Looney Tunes enjoyer. Fred: They can't all be winners! JJS: Poor Speedy can't catch a break. PatrickStarFan: How do I change my pfp? JCM: You have to go to some page and pick a number. It's super annoying. PatrickStarFan: Why not just use something like Discord, then? Fred: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Clappy: Late, but "Looney Tunes enjoyer"? Weren't you just talking about how much you wanted to be Hank Hill, JCM? JCM: Sometimes I'll look at other girls, but I'll never betray my one true love Daffy. Clappy: Like you never betrayed your "one true love", the Panthers? JCM: I've never rooted for an NFL team other than the Panthers, and anybody who claims otherwise is lying. Wumbo: I want whatever he's smoking. JCM: We have animated avatars now, too? Is there some secret page I don't know about? JJS: I guess we'll never know. PatrickStarFan: I'll help you escape from Looney Tunes purgatory if you help me, JCM. JCM: Bet. Prez: Hope JCM and new guy don't find this Remy. I'm so proud of it. JJS: Doodle in ten minutes. PatrickStarFan has been banned. JCM: He messaged me telling me to trade him xats for info on where to find the avatars. What a disappointment. Wumbo: I guess you'll be stuck with Daffy forever. JCM: Or at least until we make the switch to Discord. Clappy: So forever, then. Prez: This is not a drill! 91X is playing Boys Who Cry! This is not a drill! JJS: welp, back to the old grind clocks out

Ask Me’s were once one of SBC’s most popular thread fads, where you could ask your friends any question, no matter how ridiculous. They have since mostly faded away and become a story of legend. But what if… they actually provided people the answers they were searching for? Episode 20: What If… Ask Me Threads Provided All Knowledge? In this timeline, Ask Me threads continued to be a popular fad on SBC. Then one day, a strange global event occurred where everyone outside of SBC randomly became stupid and forgot all the world’s knowledge. Google, Yahoo, Wikipedia and other websites all deleted their knowledge, either by magic or staff incompetence. Nobody knows what caused this phenomenon, though there’s a theory it could’ve involved something similar to the SpongeBob episode “Salsa Imbecilicus.” Nobody knows why SBC was specifically left unaffected by this ailment but as a result, they became one of the only sources of knowledge left in the world. Where better to provide people this lost knowledge? Ask Me threads, of course! As the rest of the world desperately sought answers, word spread about a bunch of esteemed scholars on SBC. The tourists flocked there for their answers, and the community’s activity reached levels never thought possible, especially in the Ask Me section. To really rub it in people’s faces, the Ask Me section is eventually renamed to “Ask The Magic Conch Shell” to highlight its power over humanity. Here’s a highlights reel of some of these famous questions and answers exchanges over the years: Chask Tourist: What am I supposed to do with those things on my shoes? Cha: ya do the loop de loop and pull The tourist misinterpreted Cha’s response as literally pulling the shoelaces around their shoe, and thus, that became the accepted trendy style of how to wear your shoes. Ask WhoBob Tourist: Is Doctor Who a real doctor? WhoBob: Yes, he provides me the best medicine. Many began to seek out this Doctor Who’s medical advice, though had a difficult time reaching him for obvious reasons. Feeling bad for confusing people, WhoBob decided to get his medical license and give people the medical answers they need. And maybe knowledge about time too. Ask Miss Smiles Tourist: How do I smile? Sauce: Watch the Smiling Friends, they’re the best at making people smile! Smiling Friends would become a worldwide fad thanks to Sauce’s recommendation. A real Smiling Friends Inc. would be created to teach people how to smile. Ask Jeeves Tourist: Did you steal this name from the other Ask Jeeves? OMJ: Nope, I’m the original, brotha. I’ll be suing the store brand impostor for copyright infringement! Since nobody understood how laws worked, everyone believed that OMJ was the real Jeeves and the original was a great big phony. OMJ’s Ask Jeeves thread would take over the real Ask Jeeves search engine, redirecting everyone to that thread. Ask Dman Tourist: What is 9 + 10? Dman: 21 Due to this, 21 became the mathematically accepted answer for 9 + 10. Dman became an esteemed mathematical scholar who cracked many seemingly impossible equations and found the identity of the elusive PEMDAS. Ask the gnarliest stuff in the ocean Tourist: What is steel made of? Steel: Seahorse radish, pure uncut rock, spaghetti and something idk. The scientific community accepted that steel is indeed made of seahorse radish, pure uncut rock, spaghetti and something idk. I Am The Lead Developer of SBC, AMA! Tourist: What is a lead developer? JCM: I apparently develop the element of lead (Pb), it’s powerful stuff so don’t mess with that ish Not understanding the sarcasm, people actually thought JCM was a chemist. This lead to a rumor JCM secretly ran a drug empire which he has neither confirmed nor denied. Ask sbl Tourist: What’s a png file? Sbl: It stands for Penis Network Graphics! And so everyone now believes this is what png stands for. Many others would seek out sbl’s immaculate knowledge of technology. Don’t Ask Jjs Anything Tourist: What the actual fuck happened in The Sopranos and Lost’s endings? Jjs: In Sopranos, Tony had a heart attack from eating too much gabagool but he’ll be okay. In Lost, they learned the true meaning of pingas. These became the most accepted interpretations of both shows’ endings among media analysts. Clappy Was Here Tourist: What is clapping? Clappy: It’s when you rap while smacking your hands together. Thus a new style of rapping was created, changing the music industry forever. Ask Wumbo SpongeBob And Patrick: Where do you live? Wumbo: go fuck yourself People interpreted this as “go fuck yourself” being Canada’s real name and thus the country was renamed. SOF Predicts the Future Tourist: Will the world end anytime soon? SOF deeply thought this over, leaving the tourist in suspense. SOF: nah And the world rejoiced. ALL HAIL THE MAGIC SBC SHELL!

...oh geez, am I late? I got so caught up in what I was doing, and the time just flew, and they wanted me to tell a story for episode 2 this season, and I don't wanna let them down, and...and......and we're on episode 3. Shit. Sorry folks, that's my bad. But enough of that, I'm here now and we have to talk. These last few weeks have been both very crazy and very busy. I never expected a simple trip out of the house to end like this, but here we are. This is a true (false) story. This happened to me (it didn't). What If...(I Stopped Narrating and Switched to Third Person)? Episode 19: What If...dman and a Giraffe Were in a Band? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's your average winter's day in the south. The sky is overcast, the grass is yellow, and somehow it's still hot outside. Two people are in a car heading down a highway situated on a vast field. dman: Are you sure you know how to get there? dmom: Yeah look, it's just 10 miles down that way and we'll be at the zoo. dman: You're holding the map upside down. dmom: ...goddammit. dman: Great, now we're out in the middle of who knows where! Why the hell are you even using a paper map anyway? dmom: I left my phone in the car. dman: What dmom: In dad's car. dman: Oh, okay. I still don't understand how you keep forgetting to bring your phone though. dmom: Sometimes it's on purpose! You know, limiting yourself on screens can get you a long way. dman: Well, my screen will get us a long way to where we're actually supposed to be. dmom: Fair. dman: You keep driving, I'm gonna navigate. Okay, it looks like we can take an exit in a few miles that'll allow us to... dmom: What is that? dman: Hm? dmom: Over there. Something big. It almost looks like it's heading our way, no? dman: No kidding! Wow, I've never seen one run that fast. dmom: You know what it is? dman: Well yeah, it's a- SHIT! MOM, SLOW DOWN!! dmom: OH FUCK She slams on the brakes, but it's too late. Something jumps in front of the car and is hit at a considerable speed. dmom: Oh my god, oh my god. Is it dead? dman: I don't care about that, you almost hit the giraffe! A giraffe is standing on the side of the road opposite the field. It's unscathed, albeit barely. dmom: What in the...there was a giraffe here the whole time? dman: Yeah, isn't that what you were seeing earlier? dmom: No, I saw this giant cat out in the field! The same one I just hit with my car! What is it even doing out here? dman: Eugh, a lion. The natural predator of the giraffe. dmom: What are you, some kind of a giraffe expert? dman: Something like that. stares directly at you, the reader, and winks dmom: ...who are you looking at? dman: Not who, what. There's a van heading our way, maybe they can help us out. The van belongs to zoo management. It pulls up and couple of people step out. Emergency Response 1: Yeah, uh, we're with the zoo down the street and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises. dman: Oh please yes, take him awa- wait. Down the street? dmom: Told you I knew how to get there. Emergency Response 2: Ignore him, he's just joking. This animal is already dead. dman & dmom: ... Emergency Response 2: We're on the lookout for some escaped animals and you folks just stumbled across two of 'em. By any chance, have you also seen a zebra, a hippopotamus, or maybe some penguins? dman: Sure! They've been appearing on my shorts feed nonstop. I like the one where the emperor chick trips and falls. Check it out! dmom: Ooh, let me see! Emergency Response 1: whispering I doubt these people will be of any help. Emergency Response 2: Alright. turns back to dmom Since this event appears to be out of your control, the city will help with paying damages to your car. dmom: Aw, but I wanted a new one! Giraffe: grunt dman: ...wait. Do that again. Giraffe: groan dman: Holy crap! Mom, listen, it sounds just like that one texture from the song we heard! Come on man, give us another! Giraffe: silence dman: Shoot. Emergency Response 2: We'll be on our way with these fellers. Y'all didn't see anything, you hear? dmom: Yes sir! Thank you, and sorry about the lion! Emergency Response 1: Actually, we were just about to ship him to Africa but this makes the job easier for us. Toodles! Somehow they fit the giraffe in the van as it grunts and groans a few more times. The van drives off, leaving the mother and son alone. dman: Aaaaand pause. Sweet, those were the best ones yet! dmom: You were recording them?? We're supposed to be keeping hush-hush about this! dman: Don't worry, I only did it for the giraffe sounds. They've struck me with the greatest feeling of all...inspiration! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And so, I got to work. Using a plethora of samples alongside the giraffe noises, I finally had the opportunity to do what I've wanted to do for years: produce my own electronica. I've been returning to that same zoo a lot lately to record more vocals from my new friend, and in due time we released our debut single, "Ahem, Giraffe", under the Dman & Giraffunkel moniker. Our next song is already in the works, and let me tell you, you guys are NOT READY for it. I'll just say that somehow the giraffe managed to learn how to play a xylophone. (You should come and see him, he's pretty good!) As for what comes after that, nothing's set in stone yet. We might try to net a few insurance commercials, and I've heard they're already considering us for the Zookeeper 2 soundtrack, but we'll see if those ever pan out. In the meantime, we'll be climbing our way up as the newest underground act on the animal-based house scene, and making plenty of music in the upcoming months to make up for my lateness on this episode. Toodles! (Also, if you're wondering how my mom and I got home, we were eventually rescued by, oh...let's say...Steel Sponge.)

Remember this, dear reader. The incident in 2017 on the forum SpongeBuddy Mania called “Homophobia: The Thread”, started by none other than the conservative christian DS Guy. He was notorious for justifying his own bigotry cuz the supposed lifestyle didn’t fit him as a christian. So why are we talking about this person in the year 2025? Well, there is a universe out there where he goes beyond being a bigoted christian. Oh no… you see, what he’s about to pull is gonna shock you to the core. Episode 18: What If... DS Guy Tried to Resurrect Jesus? It’s Earth-666, if that number was any indication that things are not what they seem, you would be right. It starts off 8 years after DS Guy pulled off his homophobia thread but unlike this universe’s DS Guy who supposedly changed his ways to not be a huge conservative head anymore, he decided to triple down on this server and started becoming the leader of some evangelical christians who believe Jesus is coming. DS Guy: “MY DEAR CHRISTIANS, THE TIME HAS COME FOR JESUS CHRIST TO COME FROM HEAVEN AND GREET US. Those who don’t believe in our religion will perish as a result. If you don’t believe me, watch the iconic sequel to Left Behind which I directed! (except I couldn’t get Nicholas Cage this time…)” Evangelist Rob: “Look at our courageous leader, Don. Never seen such a man with this much rizz.” Evangelist Don: “Yeah, Rob. He’s gonna get them gyatts for real.” DS Guy: We’ll show them losers what they came here for!!! Now let’s do this ritual (which is totally not un-christian) to summon our lord! What people don’t know about this universe’s DS Guy is that he has been performing dark magic to do illusions to trick people into thinking it’s real. His powers have been getting stronger for 8 years and doing a Jesus illusion is something he might actually pull off. DS Guy (in his mind): Yes, YESSS, my powers are working. Soon I’ll make these losers think I’m summoning Jesus. Then I’ll show the world my illusions and I’ll become rich and famous! With his powers at the most height, he actually pulls it off and fake summons Jesus Christ or so he thinks so. Evangelist Rob: “Gasp Don, our lord and savior is here at last!” Evangelist Don: “Ikr, Rob, it is our glorious day!” Jesus Christ: “yes my fellow leaders, It is I, Jesus Christ!” DS Guy (in his mind): “HAHAHA my magic worked! but wait a minute, this isn’t an illusion, this is actually HIM!” Jesus Christ: “and l come to tell you this message!” DS Guy: “oh no…” Jesus Christ: “You guys have been a bunch of losers who are following a corrupt af leader. He has been performing dark magic to do illusions. That bitch boy thought he could make an illusion out of me, he was WRONG! And shame on all of you for being crazy evangelists and shunning and bullying marginalized people this whole time. Jesus loves all. Jesus respects all religions that aren’t cults like this. I was a palestinian jewish for god’s sake. ” DS Guy: “Oh my master, sorry for ever doubting you. Is there any revelation you can say about us? What is our lord saying?” Jesus Christ: “well he’s saying a bunch of critiques about how the earth is filled with idiots. Also he and I agree on one thing. KAMP KORAL SUCKS ASS. Anyway bye bye, I just wanted to come back to own this fucker.” DS Guy: “well I can’t wait to tell this to people.” Evangelists: “This guy turned out to be bozo, LET’S GET HIM!!!” And now these dumb evangelists are beating DS Guy’s ass. Everyone’s happy I guess in the end. Except DS Guy. The End.

This universe is so fucking stupid and hateful. Most of the world is full of dumbasses, we’re going backwards, and there are more and more wars, all because everyone just fucking hates each other. What a shitty universe. Or is it? Because what if I told you, if you ranked all infinite universes by how petty and hateful they are, your universe is actually in the top 15%? Yeah, somehow, your universe is a bit better than the average one. Isn’t that sad? Well, do you want to see what the average universe looks like? Let’s see what it looks like, as we ponder the question of: What If? Episode 17: What if... We found out what Stephen Hillenburg truly wanted? Quick note before the episode begins. This episode takes place in the future, so most characters are descendants of SBC members (and a couple are based on SpongeBob youtubers). Therefore, the names are different but based on the people they're a descendent of. But I imagine other people won't instantly know who is who, so here is a list of what every character is referencing, in chronological order, so you can understand what every character is based on. I recommend only using this when you don't know who a character is, to prevent spoilers. The year is 2177. The world is a dystopian hellhole. Why? Because no one can agree on what Stephen Hillenburg wanted. Did he approve of the spin-offs? Or was he against them ever happening? No one truly knows, but everyone fights over it (except perhaps the fabled land of Ultrastunting Force 51, ruled by the great HawkbitSigma, but no one even knows if that place is real or not). The world is divided into two sides, each based on what Hillenburg wanted. All around the world, there are fights daily. The world is complete chaos, and it has been for over 150 years. What Hillenburg wanted is truly the only thing anyone cares about. Trump was on pace to win the 2024 election, but after a video was leaked where Trump admitted he kinda likes The Patrick Star Show, everyone rioted, and he lost in a landslide. And even now, things are just as chaotic as ever. In 2175, the president of the United States, President Squidward, was assassinated, and replaced with the new president, President Squidward. President Squidward was then assassinated in 2176, and replaced with President Squidward. President Squidward was then assassinated and replaced with President Squidward, just three days ago. At the SBC (Scientific Breakthrough Center), a lot of scientific research happens, and it is one of the only places in the world focusing on improving the world, rather than fighting against each other. Ran by Applausy and jjsthe9thoutof11kids (usually known as jjs), the center is the successor of an ancient forum named The SpongeBob Community. And this center also may have made the most important invention of all time….. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE FINALLY DONE IT! I HAVE FINALLY MANAGED TO RESURRECT A DEAD PERSON! SPEAK WUMBO, SPEAK!” DoctorSponge exclaimed. “Why did you Yahoos revive me??? I was enjoying being dead," Wumbo asked. “Ok, fine. I just needed to revive you as a test anyway." DoctorSponge said. “Any final words?” StarryFace asked. “Cherry Cheese Cake." Wumbo said, before his life was ended once again. “We need to tell jjs about this, this could solve the Hillenburg conflict once and for all!” StarryFace exclaimed. “Yes, we need to tell everyone right away and decide what exactly to do. We still need to figure out where Hillenburg’s grave is, and we need to decide who should be the one to get the truth." DoctorSponge said. Later that night, the entire center met in the meeting room to discuss what should be done. “I can’t believe this thing is working. We may have finally found a way to figure out the truth and end this insanity!” jjs said. “Now all we need is to know where Hillenburg was buried. We still have no idea how to actually find him." Stone Sponge said. “Actually, that’s not entirely true. I figured out who knows the location of Hillenburg," Zee said; Everyone was shocked. “How long have you known this information???” ParticipationAward asked. “About a month, but I have no idea how we’ll get them to share that information. But it’s a start at least." Zee said. “So, who should be the one to ask Hillenburg for the information? Who deserves to be able to get that the most?” DoctorSponge asked. Instantly, everyone looked at palpitoadthemaflote. They all knew she deserved it more than anyone else. When she was young, her parents, danganropathetotaldramaisland and veemontheveemonly, had been murdered by the LockedDoorManiac, who had noticed their door was locked and broke in to murder them. Ever since then, she had been an orphan, and it was her life dream to figure out the truth, and to end the conflict and chaos caused by this mystery. Everyone knew she should be the one to figure out the truth first. “Well, that settles it. palpitoadthemaflote will be the one to get this question answered once and for all.” jjs declared. “Listen to me palpitoad. You need to figure out where Hillenburg’s body is, and then get the truth from him. And you need to do it as quickly as possible, with how dangerous the world is." said Applausy. Suddenly, the ClosedWindowManiac broke in, and attacked PaperCha. “Oh no, did we leave the window closed again?” said SpongeLoudFan. “EVERYONE ATTACK!” Applausy yelled, and everyone defended the room from the maniac, trying to knock him out the now-opened window. “Here, this is the location Zee says the person who knows Hillenburg’s location is. Now get out of here quickly, before the ClosedWindowManiac can attack you!" Applausy demanded, before turning to fight the maniac. “We’ll be fine, just go!” Palpitoadthemaflote quickly ran out of the building, and hurried to the location she was given. To her surprise, it ended up being in the middle of a forest, rather than a house or somewhere in a city. To her shock, a Luxray appeared right where the location was. She hadn’t even known pokemon existed! “What are you doing in our land?” the Luxray asked. “Oh, I heard you know where Stephen Hillenburg’s body is located. I was wondering if you could tell me where that is?" palpitoad asked. “WHO TOLD YOU THAT?” the Luxray asked angrily. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter, the answer is no. Do you seriously think I can trust a random human with this information?” “You can trust me," palpitoad said, before deciding to ask a question. “Also, just wondering, but who are you? I didn’t know Luxrays were even real." “I’m WinterLuxray, and I’m one of the WinterPokemon. Our ancestor, WinterArcanine, tried to stop the Hillenburg war from happening, and to make the world a better place, but unfortunately humans are just too garbage of a species, and he never succeeded. Instead, he transformed into an Arcanine, and created a place for future WinterPokemon to live, away from the evils of humanity. Now fuck off. We don’t need you people here." WinterLuxray explained. Palpitoad was surprised to hear a name she recognized. WinterArcanine had been a member of SBC, back before it was a scientific center. “I agree with you about humanity. Our species truly is awful. But I’m trying to fix that. I’m trying to stop this madness, and create a better world for everyone. But I need to know where Hillenburg is. It’s the only way to fix this.” WinterLuxray refused to change his mind. “No. I don’t trust a single one of you with this information. It doesn’t matter how many times any of us tries to make this world any better, all it does is screw us over. This world isn’t fixable. All we want is a good world, and no one will ever allow for that. People don’t want to live well, they’d rather make others live like garbage.” “Please, I really can end this war. We’ve invented a machine that can revive dead bodies and speak to them. We can get the truth and end this mystery once and for all. It’s the first time we’ve had this chance, and you just won’t let it happen? You want a good world, this is how we get it. End this war, and we’ll be able to help create a better world. For you. For me. For everyone. And all I need is this information." She realized that WinterLuxray seemed teary-eyed. “Ok. Fine. If you think this can help end this insanity…..fine. He’s buried in the Encino Graveyard, where the park from Atlantis Squarepantis used to be. His grave doesn’t have a name on it. It’s next to the grave of Intrancity.” “Thank you." palpitoad responded. “You’re welcome," WinterLuxray said, before running away and out of sight. Being from New Jersey, it took a long time for palpitoad to get to Encino. A fellow SBC member, ZaidCarGod, drove her over to Encino, but even then, it still took a long time. With how dangerous and dystopian the world is, it takes a long time to get anywhere. Eventually, she made it to Encino, and the place looked even more dystopian than expected. The place looked almost abandoned, the buildings were damaged, and it had a creepy vibe to it. Suddenly, she heard a TV from outside a building. “BREAKING NEWS, COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM SBLNN”, SDL announced, the newscaster of the most popular news channel, SBLNN, and a descendent of the original owner, SBL. “The attack on Encino from one of PieGuyRulzVI’s leading armies continues, with 200 more people dead in the past week. They have continued their search for anyone who believes Hillenburg wanted spinoffs in an attempt to kill all of them. More news coming soon!” Palpitoadthemaflote had no idea that this was happening. Scared, she looked behind her to see the army on the other side of the street. “Well, well, well. I see there’s an SBC member present today.”, said Aweful, the leader of this army. “You think Hillenburg wanted the spin-off, don’t you? Well, we can’t have that, can we?” “No, I don’t think that. He definitely didn’t want it!” But she was not very convincing. “Oh please, we all know the truth. You’re a very bad liar, you realize that?” “Ok fine…..look, I don’t know what Hillenburg wanted. And you people are insane for thinking you could possibly know what a man who died over 150 years ago wanted!" palpitoad replied back. “Claiming that you can’t know what he thought is as bad as pretending that he wanted the spinoffs. And you know what? It’s about time you died already. Alright guys, KILL HER!” Palpitoadthemaflote had no choice but to fight back. Luckily, she had a lot of experience in fighting armies. She instantly kicked Aweful, and dodged an attack from another army member. The army fought back, but she was so good at battling. She punched Crystal, dodged an attack from PenBaz and retaliated back with a kick, tripped PatFront to the ground, and kept fighting them off, but she was simply too outnumbered. Eventually, DadMom HappyPants was able to get her onto the ground, and the army surrounded her and prepared to finish her off. Suddenly, they heard a yell. “FUCK YOU!” The PieGuy army looked over to see an army from an opposing group who believes Hillenburg wanted the spinoffs. They were another very powerful army, led by the legendary Fug. Now distracted, the PieGuy army ran over to the other army to fight. Palpitoad joined the opposing army to help fight off the army who had just tried to kill her. BobCucumber and El Jaico defeated Dishonest Slug, Dedeklu defeated 4EverPurple, Spearyena fittingly stabbed FineDiner with a spear. One by one, the army members were defeated. Dino defeated TheLocalLander, Meepeem defeated CupCake, dwomandawoman defeated hippythethreebears, Tea_Hater defeated Newtreefan. palpitoadthemaflote herself defeated LightDG and Pink. Fug was fighting tons of members at a time, and was doing very well. Unfortunately, he eventually ended up getting stabbed to death by Aweful. Knowing that they were going to lose, Aweful said “Well, we’ve slain the legendary Fug! I think we’ve done enough to them," and fled. Fug’s army members mourned their loss, and palpitoad really wanted to join then, but she didn’t have time. She had almost died, and she needed to make sure she got the truth before she died for real. Finally, she made it to the Encino Graveyard. It was a very big graveyard, and it was full of many graves to search through. “Here lies JCM’s hopes and dreams" Nope, that’s not it. “Ssj4gogita4 is here4gogita4" Nope, not that either. Finally, she found a gravestone that said “The DIVINE Intrancity” and she saw the blank gravestone next to it. She dug up the grave and opened the tombstone to see Hillenburg’s dead body. She couldn’t believe that she was seeing the most important man in human history’s body for herself. She brought out the machine and revived the dead body, bringing Hillenburg back to life. Finally, she was gonna get the truth to everything! “Hillenburg, the world needs to know. What is your thoughts on the SpongeBob spinoffs? Did you want them? Or were you against them existing?" “Honestly, I just wanted it to be confirmed that Sandy Cheeks died in a car accident when she was just a younger squirrel." Hillenburg responded. And he took out his Spongey Gun that no one knew he had, and shot himself in the head, destroying his brain and knocking his head off of his body, to ensure that no one ever woke him up from his death ever again.

Here's the Season 2 finale, written by Clappy: Hello. I am The Lurker. I observe all that transpires here on SBC. But I do not, can not, will not…interfere. Join me on the journey to face the unknown and ponder the question… Episode 16: What If... The Super Bowl Curse Was Real? Ah yes. Doesn’t this bring back hilarious memories? At the time, this was a very serious matter. People were threatening to LEAVE. And you know how serious it gets threatening to leave SBC. Serious business…for a couple hours or a day. And this detrimental tradition occurred for the following couple of years afterwards. Fighting and leaving and fake drama that only happens on the internet. Ironically the big fights always happening on Super Bowl Sunday. Instead of watching Peyton Manning vs Drew Brees, we were watching 70s vs tvguy with a SOF Super Bowl Halftime Show. Until 2014, when all of a sudden, the fights just stopped happening and the users became….civil. Not civil war, actually civil. Who wants that? Not I, The Lurker. I like chaos and hilarious threats of leaving a SpongeBob fan site. I want vengeance. I want fake sympathy sob stories to try and mess with the people’s heads. I want Seb recording the e-fights of people moving to made up cities and someone saying shut the fuck up. Give me the WHAT IF THE SUPER BOWL CURSE CONTINUED!?!? Watch as I recap each year’s fight, reasons, and the recap. 2014 Fight - Sauce vs The Fan Five Reason - Lashing back against the “false eyelash” accusations Results - Sauce, vengeful over the downfall of her ask me thread, is sick and tired of everyone poking fun at her accusations of having fake eyelashes. She goes to every single ask me thread in a last ditch effort to have everyone believe that her eyelashes are real. The feedback from the fam is that they are as real as there being palm trees in Alabama. She leaves the world of Ask Me anything for one hour only to come back apologizing. All is forgiven as she goes back to only circling the ask me threads…what a time 2012-2014 SBC was, am I right? 2015 Fight - Nugs vs tvguy Reason - Who won’t get on Skype? Results - After the hundreds of times of tvguy asking for Nugs to get on Skype, he brings the Skype to SBC as tvguy is sick of Nugs not seeing his messages to get on Skype. A friendship is in turmoil as tvguy leaves SBC for the approximately 1000th time over this. Rumor has it that to this day that Skype feels like the true third wheel as who gets on Skype anymore? 2016 Fight - OMJ vs Clappy Reason - Who is SBC’s true top poster? Results - Jjs decides to nuke games and spam as post counts. Clappy wins. OMJ decides to make a Community Deathmatch parody to let out his true aggression and feelings about Jjs decision claiming that it was all fiction only for him to lose it on the community. OMJ leaves for two hours only to come back with “shoutouts” as his way to get back in the community’s good graces. It's just posts! 2017 Fight - Rebel vs SBC Reason - Is Orange Man Bad? Results - Do I need to say more? Rebel eventually learns to keep her pro Trumping to herself and we barely see her ever again after this….rumor has it she comes back to SBC next year after Trump is inaugurated in a few months to hold the title in the cabinet as Secretary of SpongeBob Forums. 2018 Fight - Crushing vs “The Activity” Reason - Why is SBC not active any more? Results - Because it's 2018 and who still uses internet forums? Crushing ends up making a goof out of himself. 2019 Fight - Maroon 5 vs The People Reason - The Super Bowl Halftime Show Results - The people’s patience finally waned on coveted SBC member, Maroon 5. Especially due to the death of SpongeBob creator, Stephen Hillenburg. The months leading up, SBC thought wouldn’t it be nice for SBC member, Maroon 5, to do a touching tribute. No response. The people of SBC grew mad. Jjs in particular told Adam Levine that I bet you can’t put on one of the most sterile Super Bowl performances of all time. Adam Levine said, bet? He proceeds to take his shirt off and invites the SpongeBob cast to introduce Travis Scott to play Sicko Mode. Now you all know the backstory behind the moment that shook the internet. 2020 Fight - Garfield vs The Mondays Reason - Because every day of 2020 felt like a case of the Mondays and Garfield turned into a selfish entitled prick trolling SBC members. Results - Let’s just say Garfield got sent to Abu Dhabi months later after Covid kept us all indoors. 2021 Fight - JCM vs JCM Reason - Because JCM kept wildly missing on his predictions in a year chalk full of misses. Results - JCM bans JCM from making predictions by the time Clappy finishes this sentence. JCM unbans himself because everyone gets one right; so why not make 500 more? 2022 Fight - Wumbo and Clappy vs the Age of Time Reason - Due to the two feeling old, they both leave the community at the beginning of the year thinking it is finally time to move on. Results - ….just kidding. Both are back today to cherry cheesecake, talk about being done with yahoos, thanking Bart for needing that today, dog police, share their writings, guest write for Jjs and all the other timeless classics. They will stick around the Community until they are 90….now where’s my paycheck Jjs? 2023 Fight - SB&P vs Eggplants Reason - SB&P questions why everyone always eggplant reacts him. Results - SB&P finally gets a clue after over six years and then decides to dox even harder; resulting his banishment from the community. Rumor has it SB&P learned from this experience and now owns an eggplant farm where he cultivates award winning eggplant crops and he thanks his fans from SBC for each accolade and wonders when his banishment from the community will finally be over? 2024 Fight - Steel vs Hawk Reason - Block Party vs Mixtape Results - Due to ”complaints”, they get merged into one thread. And that is it. No more Super Bowl curses… 2025 Who will be the fighters then? It’s up for you to decide to let the curse live on. But just remember. Be spiteful. Instigate. And remember when all else fails, threaten to leave. That is what will make people forget you ever did anything wrong. This is the Lurker. Reporting to you live from Communtiy Deathmatch. Dumb fight and good night! --------- See you in early 2025 for Season 3!

Thanks to teenj who guest wrote this one, will be posting it for him. Ah, SBC—otherwise known as The SpongeBob Community. By this point, we all know the story; a forum created by Terminoob in 2009, born from strife and misery over on the TV.com SpongeBob SquarePants boards. Membership grew rapidly over the next few years and gave birth to iconic users still known today, one of the most revered being OMJ, making his debut on January 15, 2011. At least in the timeline you know… But what if OMJ had joined exactly one year earlier in 2010? Episode 15: What If...OMJ Joined a Year Earlier? The story almost plays out the same, him quickly becoming one of SBC’s most popular users with his undeniable comedic wit, but things take a rather unfamiliar turn once we reach this universe’s First SBC Renaissance. OMJ, simultaneously a member on the Avatar Moctv Refuge, came up with a plan to use the infighting between Terminoob and 70s as an opportunity to spread the greatness of Avatar: The Last Airbender. To SBC. With his popularity already at an all-time high, he seized the hearts and minds of many users on this young SBC. Eventually, even 70s got on board with his vision, if only to further stick it to Terminoob. But SBC’s founder refused to go down without a fight, and in this timeline, very literally. So OMJ proposed a genius solution: an in-real-life community deathmatch between the half of SBC that wanted the change, and the half led by Terminoob who didn’t want it. Victor would seize control of the site’s destiny. OMJ arranged for the deathmatch to take place on his home turf, in Hawaii, and so SBCers took to the island and engaged in an all-out, bloody battle, OMJ’s side winning by a hair. And so The SpongeBob Community came to be rebranded as The Avatar: The Last Airbender Community, or AtlaC. OMJ and 70s became co-head admins and went on to craft a forum so popular it enveloped all other Avatar communities at the time, including the MocTV Refuge and AvatarSpirit.Net. The AtlaC’s popularity became so great that it increased the actual show’s popularity by tenfold, and in this timeline, Nickelodeon developed Avatar Studios earlier, eventually hiring AtlaCers such as TJ and AvatarOddFan (AOF) to work alongside them. Avatar: The Last Airbender went on to dominate the channel and become a beloved worldwide phenomenon, leading to SpongeBob SquarePants’ cancellation. World’s smallest violin plays…

WhaleBlubber was one of the most infamous enemies to tv.com, and his name still haunts SBC despite only ever bothering us once. His whereabouts today remain one of the greatest unsolved mysteries in SBC lore. But what if… he stuck around and had successfully taken over SBC? Episode 14: What If… WhaleBlubber Ruled SBC? In July 2010, WhaleBlubber had successfully destroyed what remained of the Tv.com SpongeBob board with a spam raid and bribing several moderators to ban users. He decided to expand his ambitions to spamming SBC now, refusing to let the Tv.com refugees start anew. But then, as he began making an account to raid SBC, an idea hatched in his brain: Instead of getting banned for the lulz for the 100th time, what if he played the long game? He planned to gain the staff’s trust, act like a normal member, and take over the site from within. WhaleBlubber registered as “guymonty” a month later to let the heat die down first. He did not go in posting with his usual shark and feces spam schtick, instead actually trying to be a contributive member of the community. Unlike what happened in reality, “guymonty” did not trigger any red flags and quickly became a popular member. To fit in, he pretended to be a connoisseur in several subjects that he had no interest in such as Pokemon, Family Guy, Nostalgia Critic, and even SpongeBob. Whenever people would dunk on WhaleBlubber, “guymonty” begrudgingly joined in the dunking sessions, but he deeply hated how they belittled his ego. He would thankfully not have to put up with this for much longer. Another month passes and “guymonty” has become a respected member. Since this was in the olden days where popular members became staff, you can guess what was on the staff’s mind. “Guymonty” was promoted to an admin, joining the panel of 70s, jjs, tvguy and Ex, and everyone gave him a roaring applause. By the time staff realized who “guymonty” truly was however, it was too late. WhaleBlubber had demoted and banned them all, taking control. They could not believe he successfully duped and outsmarted them. He renamed the site to “Shit Bros Community" and laid out his ten commandments that he would enforce with a blubbery fist: 1: No insulting the big man himself. 2: No discussion of any other religions or gods, for he is the only true god. 3: No dissing sharks, for they are the best aquatic creature. 4: No pseudo-intellectual essays. 5: No gays allowed. 6: No unfunny jokes. What's “funny” will be up to staff’s discretion. 7: No talking about any musician except Soulja Boy. 8: No talking about SpongeBob. 9: No jaywalking. 10: Anything else goes and have a good time. The forum became an unfiltered wild west akin to 4chan. Several disgraced Tv.com trolls join including NightmareFan17, who attempts to win Blubber’s favor with much ass kissing. But Blubber finds him to be pathetic and banishes him from his kingdom. WhaleBlubber continues to party and cause chaos with his troll brethren. However, as the months go by, something strange happens: WhaleBlubber grows…bored. He had always loved being the daring internet outlaw, but now that he’s on the other end, it was not his preferred thrilling feeling. He was in an echo chamber where their trolling had no impact or bothered anyone, and that pissed him off. He also grew tired of dealing with what he perceived as stupid complaints because he truthfully had no idea how to run a forum. Suddenly, WhaleBlubber bitterly makes an announcement: “There is no WhaleBlubber.” His followers are confused and betrayed by this, wondering if this was another shitpost or if there was a hidden meaning to it. Meanwhile, several SBC users had been plotting in secret to take back their forum. They launch a spam raid and several disillusioned trolls join them. WhaleBlubber is too apathetic to fight back and prevents the rest of his staff from banning them. In the end, the resistance is able to liberate SBC from WhaleBlubber’s rule and sends him fleeing. His reign of tyranny had come to an end, yet part of him was secretly relieved it was over. WhaleBlubber was forced to giving up his dreams of being the ultimate internet troll and actually get his life. Rumors say he became a fisherman living in solitude and away from technology. Part of him always wants to give into his urge to return to trolling but did his best to move on. One day, as if by divine intervention, he accidentally fishes up a lost iPhone. He spends a few moments staring at it, wondering if he should give into the temptation. Ominously cut to black.

This story is much in line with the Wario the idea concept. This is relevant because I have never actually watched a Pieguyrulz video, but I know of him; I know of him as a concept, as an idea. I UNDERSTAND Pieguy, and this story is a representation of him as an idea and a concept. Pie Guy the idea and Pie Guy the person, I'm sure, are different, but this is about Pie Guy the idea. Episode 13: What If... Pieguy Wrote SpongeBob? We open on a normal episode of SpongeBob Spongebob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna go jellyfishing? Patrick: Oh, I'd love to SpongeBob, but I can't… SpongeBob: Why not? Patrick: I broke my net, see? [shows SpongeBob his broken Net] SpongeBob: i guess missing one day of jellyfishing isn't such a bad thing [hands Patrick his net] you can borrow mine Patrick: Yay!! Thanks Spongebob [hugs Spongebob very tightly] We pan out showing the TV screen, then turn around to reveal PieguyRulz watching the episode Pie: UGH! [Throws Remote into the TV shattering it] IT’S ALL SCUMBOB! [stands up and looks out of the window] They can't keep getting away with this! Someone has to stop them! Something needs to be do- Before he could finish speaking a book falls out of the sky and onto his head Pie: What’s this? It’s a book. The first page reads ‘’What you write in here becomes reality; use with caution’’ Pie: oh this is too perfect! WITH THIS I CAN FIX SPONGEBOB! I CAN REVERSE SCUMBOB! AND SAVE STEVEN’S LEGACY! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA! Pie Guys conscience: you could also like…cure cancer Pie: Shut up! Pie begins rewriting the show, and removing all the aspects of post movie that he deems ‘’terrible’’ (giggling through every new line he writes) Pie: it is done….[smiles] We cut back to the tv to the now remade SpongeBob Squarepants Spongebob: Why hello there, Patrick? May I inquire as to what you have planned on this fine day? Patrick: Nothing much, Mr. Robert, but i may be interested in a walk in the park, that is of course if you’d be interested in joining me Spongebob: Of course Squidward exits his house Spongebob and Patrick: Morning, Mr Squidward Squidward: Good morning, gentlemen. I must say that seeing you both standing on the sand alone like that has left me quite dejected. Why don't you both join me for a walk in the park? SpongeBob: What a humorous coincidence! We were just heading there as well. Squidward: Very well, then. Meanwhile at the recording studio Clancy Brown: Excuse me Andrea Romano: Yes? Clancy Brown: Who are you getting to write these lines? Andrea Romano: One of our superfans ‘’PieguyRulz’’ Clancy freezes as he catches the thousand-yard stare…he’s seen this once before with the infamous ‘’Mr Enter’’ Tom approaches Clancy but is stopped by Rodger Bumpass Rodger Bumpass: There’s nothing we can do for him right now Tom Kenny: We can't keep on recording with him like this Rodger Bumpass: who said anything about recording Bumpass pulls out a box with two rings Rodger: put these on They both put on the ring and turn into their cartoon counterparts Kennybob and Squidass…squid always ends up with the lousy names (They transform in the same vein as SOW) KennyBob: Let’s go crush that pie Minutes Later Ext: Pieguy’s house They both knock on the door Pie opens the door and is frightened by the sight of the two cartoon characters standing at his doorway Squidass: What the fuck is this [Holds the script in Pie’s face] Pie runs across into his house but is ultimately cornered by the two Pieguyrulz: what’re you gonna do? Pour hot oil on me, Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?! KennyBob: Worse [devilish smile] Squidass gets closer to pieguy’s face and utters the dreaded words Squidass: Spongehe e e enge….. [the words fly out of Squidass’ mouth and into Pie’s ear] He shrieks Pie: Stop! Stop! I beg of you!!! Kennybob joins in Kennybob: Smooth Jazz in bikini bottom Pie: What’s so scary about that? Kenny Smiles Kennybob: Patrick eating Squidward’s pass… Pie faints Hours later he starts to wake up, he’s in a hospital bed, surrounded by all the VAs Pie: where am i? Tom Kenny: You passed out after we mentioned episodes you hated Rodger Bumpass: we might’ve gone a bit too hard on you [regretful] Clancy Brown: so to apologize we got you this gift [hands him a gift bag] Pie: for me? You shouldn't have [places his hand in the gift bag and senses….The S7 DVD] Cut to a gravestone. R.I.P PieguyRulz The end

The year is 2025, Jimmy Donaldson, otherwise known as the famous and infamous YouTuber, entrepreneur, humanitarian, challenge coordinator, big-time money giver, and former member of the Beasty Boiz comedy act, MrBeast continues to do some outlandish stunts to try and save his continuous PR disaster that has led to #MrBeastIsOverParty to trend. Will MrBeast come to his senses and make an effort to fix his image as the endless shit-eating grinning snakeoil salesman in Salvation Army clothing, or will he continue doing what he does best? ...Of course he’s going to try and save his career with something dumb. Did you expect anything else from a YouTube star? Episode 12: What if… MrBeast bought SBC? In his attempt to salvage his career, he would make a video claiming that he bought an entire website. His target? The SpongeBob Community. ...And how did SBC take it? As easy it is to tell, not so well. I. THE BEAST-GINNING SOF: lol, who invited mrbeast to SBC? Is it a troll? Jjs: We got some serious news to discuss. MrBeast just bought SBC. This is no joke. I didn’t even have the chance to talk this over with him, but he did post on his introductory thread that he promised a huge sum to give to each and every one of the members. Salmon: wait I though April Fool’s wasn’t in February? Jjs: I’m not pulling any legs. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it looks like MrBeast is going to take control of running this site now. WhoBob: Just what we needed, another multi-billionaire buying a site from us, and it HAD to be ours. JCM: I can’t believe MrBeast would just take my job from me like that, smh. Steel Sponge: As his first ruling as owner of the SpongeBob Community, he will give 100 banned members new accounts. ..Sorry, I really shouldn’t be jinxing this. (edited) Prez: Not kino. Hope he doesn’t buy 91x next. Jjs: Let’s not panic. Maybe MrBeast will do a good enough job in running the site. At the very least, this news will give us a huge influx of new members. Maybe he’ll be willing to sell SBC back to us sooner or later. We’ll be even richer that way. SOF: so...what we do now? Jjs: MrBeast still hasn’t joined our server, so we can at least have fun here watching the chaos unfold for a while. FantasticMrBeast has landed! Jjs: Fuck II. TO BEAST OR NOT TO BEAST Of course, no one was happy with the new sudden change in management. After giving the SBC members a rundown on why he decided to buy the SpongeBob Community, which involved showing pics of him graduating from dictator college and taking over the world (with smiles), MrBeast went on to say that his involvement would help bring new members and traffic to the site (to which some argued that they don’t want to have to do deal with the possibility of more toxic members), that he needed additional sponsorship for his Lunchly food brand, and that he wanted to help each member of the site financially. Many of the members protested MrBeast to sell back the site, including from those who expressed disappointment in him replacing the original server chat emoji with MrBeast-inspired emotes (including :whatcanyoudo:), but Jjs declared that he’ll let Jimmy Donaldson run the site until problems already start. MrBeast expressed his first order of business as the new owner of SBC by letting them all know that he will be setting up challenges all across the forums for a chance to win a billion gazillion dollars per challenge. III. A BEAST FOR CROWS The first major event that MrBeast would post to the site upon its restructuring would be a “Meme Off,” where members will win thousands of dollars for making the best meme. Although the community decided to play along and only make snowclones of his “I helped 1,000 people [blank] again” type of content, every member would end up winning the Meme Offs as MrBeast appreciated them tooting his own horn anyway. SBC Spin-Offs, despite having been rebranded under the ‘Stories’ umbrella term, would receive a revival under the name of “Beast Spins,” upon the introduction of the then 10-season long series titled Jimmy’s Beastly Adventures. MrBeast would then announce that he obtained rights to turn Pisces Moon and The Adventures of No Name into decently-budgeted feature films. Steel Sponge, the original creator of both spin-offs, would give MrBeast his contributions as executive producer with a “Do whatever the hell you want with them” go-ahead. MrBeast would also host a writing challenge worth thousands of dollars for members to write the best story featuring him, with the winner going to dman’s hit one-shot MrBeast Goes Bankrupt. The restructuring would bleed into the entertainment forums where MrBeast makes threads regarding his YouTube series, his infamous game show, the fan games that he inspired, and all of his other side projects. In the music section, renamed BEAST-FM, he awarded a member a job as a radio DJ for the station of their choosing by naming ten songs made by MISSIO. Prez would win and land himself a job as the new main host of 91x. In the movies and TV section, renamed Cinema Beasts, MrBeast would offer a movie deal to any member who successfully pitches an idea for a new film to him, with WhoBob being given the deal for his “The Gay Turkish Avengers” pitch. In the video games and technology section, renamed Tech Beasts, MrBeast offered a video game development deal for whoever successfully pitched an idea for a new game JCM would win after giving MrBeast his demo of “Sandy Cheeks Gets Run Over By a Car and Dies.” Donaldson would also introduce his own brand of smartphones known as the BeastPhone, with the introductory price of $1984. Upon launch, critics noted how easy it was to hack/jailbreak it. As a result, sbl would go on to mod the BeastPhone and turn it into the Kerfuffle Phone v.1.0, with the introductory price of $free in Canada, and $499 and other international variations of the pricing elsewhere, becoming a surprise commercial success. The SpongeBob discussion section of the forums would also fall victim to the restructuring, with one challenge involving creating a pitch for a new SB spin-off for the chance to win thousands of dollars. Cha would win after pitching to MrBeast “SquidBob’s Sexy Adventures.” IV. THE FALL OF THE BEAST Despite things looking up for the MrBeast-managed SpongeBob Community, it would already take a wrong turn after MrBeast announced a newly-funded project that he referred to as ‘the ultimate challenge.’ Production would start on a new game show titled Underwater Survivor: Beast Style. All of the winners of his previous challenges were forcibly and contractually obligated to compete, including Steel Sponge, the partial inspiration of the series. SOF filed a lawsuit against MrBeast and his production company, cited workplace abuse, unsafe conditions (i.e. residing in a submarine with low oxygen levels, with no lunch breaks), and challenges that violated humanitarian rights including and not limited to bleaching 1,000 colar reefs to be used to make into a new bleaching solution, killing 1,000 stingrays to make the ultimate leg cramp medicine from their toxins, and most scandalous of all – scourging the deep blue sea for scraps in order to build 100 nukes to send to North Korea so they could then give 1,000 victims MrBeast’s signature brand Lunchly meals. SOF also disclosed that the winner, who managed to get 100 countries to sign a treaty to agree to a new world war, would be awarded one billion dollars. However, MrBeast notified the contract-bound contestants that he didn’t have the funds to pay the winner until he was able to make money for his YouTube channel once he’s been repaid for the war crimes he planned to commit. Every unwilling participant that was now made aware of MrBeast’s true intentions – all according to keikaku – all openly refused to do any of his planned challenges, resulting in the immediate cancellation of Underwater Survivor: Beast Style. After the members had all described their experience working with MrBeast, Jjs spoke to him that he must sell back SBC to them, as they want to be legally cleared from the lawsuit against him. MrBeast agreed to bestow the rights of the SpongeBob Community back to the community itself and never tried to take advantage of them in order to create another over-glorified Ponzi scheme ever again. V. DON’T YOU (FORGET ABOUT BEAST) MrBeast was sued for $50 million in damages caused by the behind the scenes maltreatment for Underwater Survivor: Beast Style. The lawsuit damaged his career immensely as he lost 70 million subscribers in less than a week, an all time high. Meanwhile, for the members of the SpongeBob Community, the aftermath of his former ownership of SBC would have a positive effect on them: -Jjs became a prolific lawyer, with his first major accomplishment as a lawyer being for the case against MrBeast. He would go on to criminalize Billy Mitchell for his decades worth of faked gaming records and litigation abuse to those who exposed his fraudulence. He would also earn his own hit show titled Better Call JJSaul. -SOF would become the new Prime Minister of Canada, and the youngest ever. Her first order of business would be to send Doug Ford to yahoo jail. -Sbl became the CEO of a successful new smartphone company that managed to make enough money to buy X/Twitter from Elon Musk. The company is currently in the development stages for the Kerfuffle Phone 3.0. -Cha’s “SquidBob’s Sexy Adventures” spin-off pitch would be greenlighted by Nickelodeon, and it would go on to run for six seasons. -Prez remains a DJ for San Diego’s 91x alternative music station, as it now transitioned back into a station that primarily plays newer music. -JCM would go on to become a successful video game developer after the success of “Sandy Gets Run Over By a Car and Dies.” He would then create a new game heavily inspired by Pokemon, while also being able to bypass Nintendo’s patent infringement complaints. -dman’s MrBeast Goes Bankrupt one-shot story would be picked up by a publisher and went to #1 in the New York Times list. -WhoBob’s “Gay Turkish Avengers” became a massive box office success. It was big enough to become a cinematic universe. -Steel Sponge, after being bestowed full royalties for the film productions of The Adventures of No Name and Pisces Moon, would use his money to finally give 101 Dalmatian Street the second season it deserved. -Former UWS SBC contestant Blue Skarmory, despite not making an appearance in this story, died from a fentanyl overdose. He was 27 years old. MrBeast, after leaving his channel untouched after the lawsuit, would be declared AWAL. Some say that he’s moved on to live the rest of his life as a recluse, some say he reunited the Beastie Boyz comedy act, while rumors say that he’s working on making himself into a God of the new world, devising his plan to eradicate all life on Earth and help create new life. Sounds stranger than fiction, but in a series like What If…it could be realer than you think. I’m Jesse Ventura, and this is Conspiracy Theory.

Experience something truly ordinary but also remarkable. Being a pet parent. It’s so many people’s dreams to adopt pets. And you, the reader, are no exception. We all need a special companion to keep us happy while taking care of those beings. So you may be wondering, why the hell not someone like WhoBob never had a pet, despite loving pets so much? Well, it could have numerous reasons. Economic reasons, thinking incapable of taking responsibility for a well being, the potential of the animal hurting the owner, all those kinds of things but wouldn’t it be great If he owned a pet? Well reader, it’s time to take you to a wonderful journey of What If…? Episode 11: What If… WhoBob Had Owned a Pet? We landed on Earth *cat noises* and WhoBob is gonna get the ultimate question from his mother. WhoBob’s mom: “Hey son, I was thinking about it and I wanted to ask you something” WhoBob: “Sure mom, what is it?” WhoBob’s mom: “Would you like to adopt a pet? Since you love animals so much, I figure you might wanna own one” WhoBob: “hmmm good question. I always wanted to own a pet but I know you have rejected my offer before. It’s interesting that you seem to have changed your mind. And I was thinking. Could I take care of a pet? Cuz I don’t wanna be an irresponsible owner” WhoBob’s mom: “You are being hard on yourself sweetie, of course you can be a good pet owner. You are filled with so much heart that you would be responsible, I know it.” WhoBob: “Well, in that case, yes! I would love to adopt a pet” WhoBob’s mom: “Good, when I’m available, let’s go to an animal shelter! Do you want dogs or cats?” WhoBob: “Cats! They are the best.” WhoBob’s mom: “Good, I’ll see what I can do.” So WhoBob, his brother Dodobird and their mother, went to the animal shelter and decided to see what kind of cats they have. After walking and seeing numerous cats, WhoBob found a cat that chose him. It was an orange male cat. WhoBob: “Oh my god mom, this one looks at me and wants to have me. Can we have them?” Dodobird: “The cat sure as hell looks adorable, mom.” WhoBob’s mom: “Alright, lemme talk to the workers.” After much discussion, they adopted the cat and WhoBob named him Walter after the beloved character Walter White from Breaking Bad. WhoBob: “We are gonna do so many great things together Walt!” *11 minutes later* WhoBob: “aww you are the cutest lil thing ever. My son, look how much you want pets from me, you special thing. I love you so much” Walter thought quietly: “Heh heh heh.” After so much petting and months later with getting all of the vaccinations for Walter, Walter thought of something truly diabolical. He saw the comic books WhoBob owned and he told himself, “ahhhh my father’s precious comic book collection, I think I can do what to do with this junk.” So Walter decided to tear apart all of the comics WhoBob had, one by one showing no mercy while comic books screamed in agony (turns out they were alive this whole time, gasp). This massacre was noticed by Whobob who went: “WALTER, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY COMICS??? WHY???” Walter: “Because my father, I can do something I always wanted to do from the start.” WhoBob: “WHAT? YOU COULD TALK?" Walter: “Yes my father and now witness my armageddon!!!” This was Walter’s act all along to commit magic. In order to do magic, one must give something in exchange and that is something his owner considered valuable to him. Magic always has a price. So Walter linked with every single orange cat, using magic and now he has spoken. “MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO REIGN TERROR. WE ARE ORANGE CATS, WE SHARE ONE SINGLE BRAIN CELL. AND WITH THAT BRAIN CELL, WE ARE GONNA TEAR THE WORLD APART ONE BY ONE!!!” Of course what Walter didn’t know was that he is actually smarter than the rest, so he didn’t share one brain cell along with the rest of orange cats and the link severed pretty quickly. Walter: “MY SPELL!!! IT DIDN’T WORK. NOOOO.” WhoBob: “That’s it mister, you have caused me so much trouble.” Walter: “What are you gonna do with me, throw me to the streets?” WhoBob: “No… despite what you have done, I still love you my son, do whatever you can do with me, it doesn’t change anything.” WhoBob hugged Walter and Walter felt something that has never felt before: Acceptance. Walter has always been outcast but finding someone who will accept him no matter what made him feel happy for the first time. Walter: “I love you too, father. *mrrrrr*” And there you go, reader. This was something you did not expect did you. No matter what, WhoBob’s lack of self dignity, I mean love triumphs all. The End.

Ah...TheMysteriousMrEnter. He's somewhat considered an outcast among animation critics and the internet as a whole, yet somehow he still has an influence on SpongeBob discussion to this day, albeit in some of the least admirable (hehe) ways possible. You'd think given such a reputation he'd want to leave that part of his past behind, but the truth is he is Among Us! Or at least he could be. Meh, probably not. But it's fun to think about the hilarious shitstorm that universe would be. It's fun to imagine...What If...? Episode 10: What If...Mr. Enter Joined SBC? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Thread: 128b. Stuck In The Wringer. A new post appears.] MystifyingEntryway: To this day, I still loathe this episode. I would beat the everloving shit out of Patrick if I could. The one thing I liked was when SpongeBob and Squidward made love in the ordering boat, but that's it. Atrocious. jjs: agreed WhoBob: oh no Slug: Godly way to bump a topic. sbl: Looks like someone's a decade behind the times! Hawk: Next you'll be telling us about how the moral is rancid and the background fish are assholes. MystifyingEntryway: Both are true. Everyone is so mean-spirited towards SpongeBob for no reason. I wish I could jump through the screen and murder those fish telling off SpongeBob. Also, crying to solve your problems CLEARLY isn't a moral you should be teaching to children. I cannot express enough how much I despise those writers. Hawk: ...speak of the devil. Winter: Let's see... thinks episode is mean-spirited wants to kill fictional characters insults the staff He's checking off every box so far Carotte: this episode's not good and all, everyone knows, but can we not insult the writers of the show please? MystifyingEntryway: They need to pay for their crimes immediately. Impalement sounds like a fitting punishment. I will see to it myself if necessary. Carotte: ok you are getting too fat Slug: Aaaand with that we've officially entered violent shitshow territory. SOF: this isnt funny dude... Winter: Hey, you should join SBM! There you can threaten the crew all you want, and the admins will do nothing! jjs: as for here, you get one last chance before you're out MystifyingEntryway: I was going to make an account on SpongeBuddy Mania originally, but I noticed a severe lack of discussion on the September 11 attacks, despite the site being launched only three years after. It felt very ignorant of the time, so I changed my mind. SOF: bruh Wumbo: what in the living HELL does 9/11 have to do with a spongebob fansite Prez: spongebob did 9/11 Wumbo: true I forgot about that salmon: hey uh, do we think it's possible that this "mystic entry" guy here could be, i don't know...mr. enter??? MystifyingEntryway: Fuck you. jjs: see ya later bran flakes [MystifyingEntryway is banned for being stupid.] dman: so are we all just gonna ignore that he enjoys the spongebob and squidward sex scene ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After his exile from SBC, an enraged Enter decides to start a new series on his channel. In the first (and only) episode of Online Outrages, he plays the victim by crying and screaming for 20 minutes about how he was mistreated by SBC, but the internet does not hear him out. The video unexpectedly goes viral, becoming one of the most disliked on all of YouTube right behind the baby shark dance, and also becoming a great source of ridicule for about three weeks. Simultaneously, SBC traffic explodes as several new users join to make fun of Enter's posts, with the Stuck in the Wringer topic gaining millions of views and eventually becoming the most viewed in the site's history. Enter's social status degrades from outcast to pariah overnight, resulting in him never uploading anything to YouTube again and going completely silent on all his accounts. To this day, no one knows where Mr. Enter is. Whether he's finally taking a hint and going off the grid or just hiding behind another pseudonym, all that matters is his channel is dead and SBC is thriving. Although, I will admit, he may have been right about one thing...I guess crying doesn't solve your problems after all!

Time. Space. Reality. It's more than a linear river. It's an ocean of endless possibility, where a single choice can branch out into infinite communities, creating alternate shows from the ones you know. I am WinterArcanine. I am your guide through these vast new realities.... or at least, your guide for this specific reality. Follow me and ponder the question... "What if?" Episode 9: What if The Security System didn’t take control of Squidward’s house? In this reality, Good Neighbors was happening exactly as normal. Spongebob and Patrick are annoying Squidward, Squidward is miserable, Zoomers are laughing their ass off, and Geek Ultimatum Network is seething. But something is different. The security system will not take control of Squidward’s house. SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this delicious cake. Squidward: "Sorry for bugging you so much"? What the...? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! Security System: No threat detected. Squidward: [furious, banging on security system] Oh you infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrapheap you came from! Security System: THREAT DETECTED. ......... And nothing happened. Squidward was confused. “Well... are you gonna do anything?” Spongebob and Patrick were still looking at Squidward sadly. “We feel bad we ruined your Sunday”, Spongebob said, “So we made you this cake to apologize”. Squidward didn’t care, and just ignored it, still yelling at the security system. “What a fucking waste of money!!! This thing doesn’t fucking do ANYTHING!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!” He screamed in rage, as he furiously ripped the security system out of the wall and threw it out the window. Spongebob and Patrick, scared by how angry Squidward was, decided they should probably just leave. “Ok, sorry if we caused any more problems Squidward, we’ll stay away for the rest of the day”, and they went back to their houses. And that was that. That’s what happens when the security system doesn’t take control of Squidward’s house. The end! Or is it... The next day, Squidward felt grumpier than ever. It was, yet again, the beginning of the work week. Squidward already hates this time of the month-er, I mean week, and he didn’t even get to relax this Sunday! While at the Krusty Krab, he was surprised to see that the food was being made almost instantly! When Squidward got another order, this time for a Krabby Patty and a side of Kelp Fries, he noticed Spongebob said “Coming right up!” in an almost pained voice. Slightly concerned, he went into the kitchen to check how it was going, and he was shocked to see that Spongebob’s hand was in the fryer! “Spongebob! Why is your hand in the fryer?” Squidward asked him. “Oh, It’s just a quicker way to make the fries that I tried out! I move the Fries inside the fryer myself, and they get fried much quicker! Squidward was shocked. “Doesn’t that hurt?” Spongebob laughed. “It doesn’t hurt THAT much if you move your hands a bit! I read about this idea a while ago, but I never did it until now. But I felt like taking risks today.” Squidward found this strange and concerning, but thought it was just another weird Spongebob thing that wouldn’t last the day. So he was shocked to see that the next day, Spongebob was running to the Krusty Krab while on fire! “WHAT THE FUCK SPONGEBOB???” Squidward yelled at him. Spongebob simply responded “I felt like making my walk to the Krusty Krab riskier today! The fire will extinguish when I get to the Krusty Krab!” He kept making risks while cooking at the Krusty Krab too. Later that day, Mr. Krabs brought Squidward to his office. “So, I just wanted to let you know that this week is “Make Your Daughter Work Week”, so Pearl will be working here. Therefore, I have decided you can take the week off! Pearl will be taking your place.” Squidward was very excited. “Oh, thank you Mr Krabs! I can finally relax for a week!” Squidward returned back home for a relaxing week off of work. He did things like watch TV, play his Clarinet, and whatever else he wanted to do. At first, he kept feeling fearful that Spongebob and Patrick would annoy him. Eventually, he stopped worrying. He never heard anything from Spongebob or Patrick at all! Squidward didn’t even notice. He was having the best week he had in years! One day, he decided to do some errands, and went to the bank to cash in some money. To his shock, he saw Spongebob and Patrick outside of the bank in disguises, holding bags of stolen money. “Spongebob? Patrick? Did you just rob the bank!?” “Yep”, Spongebob said, “and we did it as stealthily as possible so we didn’t bother anyone”. Squidward was shocked; this seemed absurdly out of character from them. “Why did you rob the bank? You don’t even care about money!” Patrick responded “We just wanted to do something dangerous and risky!” Squidward was once again shocked by this behavior, but it didn’t dawn on him how bad it was getting until Mr. Krabs came to his door on the last day of his week off, looking extremely concerned. “I’m sorry to bother you on your week off, but do you have any idea where Spongebob is? He hasn’t come into work for days now. I tried asking Patrick, but he’s gone too”. Squidward was shocked. “What? He hasn’t went to work at all? I don’t know where he is, but he’s been acting strangely, he even robbed a bank a couple days ago.” “WHAT???” Mr Krabs exclaimed, “Has he gone insane? Squidward, I need you to find Spongebob ASAP, and bring him back to his senses! The Krusty Krab needs him! Pearl’s been going crazy having to do both of your jobs!” Normally, Squidward would refuse to do something like this, as he would prefer to enjoy his weekend off. But he was getting concerned for Spongebob himself, so he agreed. He searched for days throughout the entire planet’s oceans to try to find Spongebob and Patrick. He searched through the Great Barrier Reef, the Atlantic Ocean, the Caribbean, the Mediterranean, Hawaii, the North and South Pole, everywhere, and Squidward couldn’t find them. Eventually, he finally managed to find them at the edge of the Mariana Trench, the deepest place on the planet. He was shocked to see them there, as it was one of the most dangerous places in the entire ocean. They looked very injured, yet happy and excited. Squidward: Spongebob? Patrick? What are you two doing here? Spongebob: We were gonna jump down into the Mariana Trench! It’s gonna be SO FUN! Squidward: You’re doing WHAT? SpongeBob, that’s insanely dangerous! Spongebob: Yeah I know! Squidward: What has gotten into you two? None of you are acting like yourselves! Since when did you like doing extreme stunts like this? Patrick: We just never realized how fun it is to do these things! We love it! Squidward: But... Spongebob, this is the MARIANA TRENCH!!! It’s the largest drop in the entire world! You can’t just jump down that, you’ll die! Spongebob: So? Then there won’t be a threat anymore! Just then, it finally dawned on Squidward what had happened. Because you see, in this universe, the security system didn’t take control of Squidward’s house. It took control of Spongebob and Patrick. It felt mean, cruel, and just plain unfair of the security system to do this. All Squidward wanted was to enjoy his Sunday to himself, and deep down, he truly cared for Spongebob and Patrick, and wanted them to also be happy... Just a little less annoying. But that can never happen, can it? GAH! FUCK THIS EPISO- Squidward: Wha-SPONGEBOB! I didn’t mean that you were a threat! I just wanted some peace and quiet! Please don’t kill yourself like this! Spongebob: No Squidward. I must do this. Then I would finally have done what you wanted me to. He said this in a metallic, cold, and almost robotic voice, almost like the security system. He barely even sounded like himself. Squidward: Spongebob, PLEASE! I don’t want you to die! I never wanted any of this! Patrick: I don’t see why it matters Squidward. We’re just gonna jump down the trench and live! It’ll be the coolest thing ever! Spongebob: Yeah, It’ll be so much fun! You can watch us if you want! Squidward: Spongebob, I’m not letting you jump down! Please Spongebob....I know I don’t act like it, but I truly do like you! Sure you annoy me sometimes, but you’re so nice and happy, and you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. I truly do like you....Please come home and be yourself again!!! Spongebob: No, Squidward. We can’t do that. We’d be so annoying and we’d be terrible neighbors. Squidward: NO YOU AREN’T! YOU TWO ARE WONDERFUL NEIGHBORS! AND START CALLING ME PRESIDENT! Spongebob: I’m sorry president, but I’ve already made up my mind. This is just too much fun to skip! Are you ready Patrick? Patrick: Yes Spongebob! And the two started to sprint over to the trench... Squidward: NOOOOOOO! And Spongebob and Patrick jumped down into the trench, as Squidward watched horribly. They zoomed down to the trench, zoomed into the darkness of the deep, their expressions deeply in excitement, clearly having the time of their life, as they rushed down to the deepest place on Earth... ...Well, I don’t know how else to put it. They died. Your favorite positive and naive nitwits from your childhood just died. Brutally. There’s no way to know how it felt, but it must have been extremely painful. Luckily, the intense darkness of the trench made it so that no one can see their dead bodies. Not that it matters, because there was nothing left of them anyway. The only good thing to say about what happened is that at least Squidward didn’t have to see their death. But regardless, he knew what had happened. He quickly teared up, and then sobbed wildly. He didn’t even have the strength to try to control himself. He had never been more upset and distraught in his entire life. The kindest, most wholesome person he even knew, as well as that person’s best friend, had just died, and it was all his fault. He didn’t know what to do now, because he had nothing. He hates his job, he hates Bikini Bottom, his two neighbors just died, and he knew he could never relax in his house ever again, knowing what he had done just to get a night’s peace. He had nothing left. What was he supposed to do now? “Hey, do you have 7 hours? We need an Octopus to help us with something." Squidward looked back in confusion at the cat and raven standing behind him.

I already HAVE a cell phone, I've had one for the past 18 years (not the SAME one, but STILL)!

Here's the Season 1 finale, written by Clappy: Hello. I am The Lurker. I observe all that transpires here on SBC. But I do not, can not, will not…interfere. Join me on the journey to face the unknown and ponder the question… WHAT IF!? After another silly round of internet drama led to a bunch of users reporting one another, getting suspended, making alt accounts, and eventually, banishment from the tv.com forums; two users, that70sguy92 came up with a novel concept one day on the XAT. A Proboard. “It’s the wave of the future!” 70s proclaimed. After tens of users decided to make their own proboard to compete with 70s proboard, terminoob and Clapmaster came up with an even more novel concept. A forumotion site. What shall they call it? How about The SpongeBob Community? Thus, a site was born…with only seven members. “Let’s recruit some more!” Terminoob suggested. As Clappy noblely agreed to the idea…before disappearing for a year. That’s exactly the way I, The Lurker, planned for it all to go down. Tv.com eventually died a slow but painful death as the site became more overrun with TV tome shadows and dumb persons. And SpongeBob communities and manias became the wave of the future. But I can’t help but ponder…what would have happened if these fansites didn’t take over. Episode 8: What If…TV.com Never Died? …then fan forums would have died a slow painful death. After all, one person should not dedicate their entire existence for just one fandom. I mean how dare Simpsons fans be allowed to like Family Guy. Or SpongeBob fans becoming My Little Pony fans. You’re allowed to like more than one thing. Even I, The Lurker, can tell you that. So TV.com would absolutely lead to the new multiverse that so many movie studios have ever dreamed off. Eat your heart out Sony Spider-Verse without Spider-Man. Take that Warner Bros and their “Multi-Versus”. In your face Disney….whoa slow your rolls there. I, The Lurker, respect and obey our lord and savior Mickey Mouse. TV.com became so huge that it became a virtual reality entertainment universe where you could become your favorite tv shows. Ever wanted to call Saul? Well you better since you are now a part of your favorite shows on TV.com. Want to have Friends? Well you too can get into 22 minute shenanigans with Rachel, Monica, and company. Wonder how I met your mother? Well be prepared to sit through nine years of storytelling of what basically took five minutes and one bad series finale. TV.com really came alive at the perfect time with everyone streaming everything. And to keep going ahead of the curve, the virtual reality simulator really made TV.com the best thing on the web. Users and moderators would hold each other hand by hand singing kumbaya as the report button that would consistently get abused back in the good ole days was set afire much to the malign of 66ers. Yes that would have been the life. SBC would have never existed. All these lifelong friendships you have been hearing so much about…why have small groups of friends when you could have the world? All these what if stories? Just made up by some random friends trying to have fun and make stories relevant again. TV.com would have ruled all and you would be bowing to the TV Tome Shadows and Dumb Persons of the world. And DC-Dude would have made The Underwater Voice spin-off. Just the way god intended. …… Clappy: And that does it. Mini-series over. Just the way I intended. Now I can go ride off to the sunset a second time and leave SBC for good. *suddenly a knocking in the distance* Clappy slowly approaches the door when all of a sudden, it slams open and a shadowy figure arrives and the scene fades to black. A half hour later, Clappy wakes up and the shadowy figure approaches him. ???: That’s all you got? Clappy: Yes. My one episode obligation to the group to celebrate 15 years. I have a life to live, you know. ???: You hyped this mini-series to hell as a group project and had Jjs save your ass to make this happen like he always does. You owe that man so many debts of gratitude. Clappy: Well he is one of the few reasons I still stick around after all these years along with others. It’s the least I can do. ???: The least you can do? Why don’t you just leave like the rest and move on. If this is the best you got. A short mini-series when you have fifteen years of stories to tell and you cop out with eight. Clappy: …that is true. We’ve got stories for years. What if SOF turns into a robot? What if 4EverGreen gets a cellphone? ???: Then put your money where your mouth is. Renew this for a second season. Clappy: Eh what the hell. If that’s what the fans want. ??? then comes out of the shadows looking like Mr Enter does with the dumb trenchcoat but still mysterious looking figure. Lurker: Yes, it is. -------------- Due to the success so far, we will make this a recurring work instead of a miniseries. Season 2 will come later this year, stay tuned!

Episode 7: What If Prez Was The President of the USA Our story starts with the SBC gang resting next to a campfire in a post-apocalyptic America. Meko1432: I just don't get it. One minute he's hanging out on Discord chatting about music, and the next he's president of the USA, setting a bounty on Garrett's head! Hawk: i didnt vote for 'em Whobob: i'm surprised by how quickly he bailed on us a bounty hunter approaches them Hunter Joe: do you know a man that goes by the name 'garret' JJs: yeah sure! He's right over there, by that tree [points at a bush in the distance] Hunter Joe: thanks [pulls out his flame thrower] Garret: NO NOOO AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Meko1432: You think Prez still thinks about us from time to time? JJs: why dont we go find out Hawk: but where would we find him? Meko1432: What a silly question, haha! We'll find him where we would find any other president. in the White House! the home of every president Hawk: i dont think they actually live in the white house JJs: sure they do [cut to them in the white house] Hawk: what's with all the doors Meko1432: it's the presidents' rooms, duh! Hawk: Meko, there's no such thing! Meko1432: sure there is! Hawk: So you're telling me that if I open this door, there will be a president? Meko1432: i'm betting on it [Hawk opens the door and spots president obama holding a chaos emerald] Obama: you've caught me at a very unfortunate time, now you must perish! [hawk closes the door quickly] Whobob (shouting): hey guys! i think i found prez' room! JJs: way to go, who! lets go in [they rush in] Prez: What're you guys doing here? It better be quick; I've gotta bomb Garrett at 6. Whobob: we just came to chat about..............you know Prez: what? oh! isnt it wild! one minute i'm talking about music to y'all and the next i'm president of the USA planning to bomb Garrett Hawk: that's literally what Meko just said Prez: you guys wanna see my 'annoy Garrett' button JJs: sure! but make it quick, this story's running a little long The End

Witness with your eyes. The age of superheroes. First discovered in the 30s, before World War II began and ever since then they have been a phenomenon. Becoming more and more popular in pop culture. Uniting people with the tales they have been reading and identifying with or dividing people due to their disagreements and their takes. One thing is for certain, you can never have more brain rot than superhero comics fans. But what about the SpongeBob Community? What happens If they run a comic book industry? What surprises await you, the reader? What if…? Episode 6: What if...SBC was a superhero comic industry? We are on Earth-G7 and the year is 2009. terminoob, a person who cherished comic books for a long time, was frustrated by tv.com admin’s bad takes on superheroes. They were vile creatures who thought superheroes were IP machines meant to be consumed. They gave no thought to the stories people have been telling with them, they’ll read anything even if it’s the most fanservicey, mid, garbage and uninspired comics ever. Terminoob knew that the sad reality of Marvel and DC comics was that if you create a character, you can never own them forever and the fans of those comics will never give thought to creators who made those characters. As frustrated as he was, an idea hit him. Inspired by the pioneers of Image Comics, he decided to make a company that will have superheroes but unlike Marvel and DC, he’ll give the creators opportunity to own the characters and never fuck them over. So he decided to create his company: Super Buddies Comics. And he took those who were banned from tv.com and made them come up with whatever ridiculous characters they can think of. Among the creatives, there was Clappy who created Claplad, a superhero whose power is based on clapping with two hands and creating massive sound waves to crush mountains. Then there is Wumbo who decided to create a superhero called Cherry Cheesecake Man! The character who makes cherry cheesecake bombs and fights supervillain yahoos. Katniss makes a character called Taco Woman, the character who shoots tacos with her bow and delivers a feasty attack on bad guys. Prez creates a character called Music Crusher, the character with the ability to disrupt villains’ plans with music and harmony. These are all wonderful ideas and they did extremely well at tales. Reaching top 10 charts every month and ruining Marvel and DC’s success with no mercy whatsoever. Everything was going smoothly until a dark day awaited these creators. Year 2019 and terminoob realized that movie studios wanted to adapt those comics, therefore he got greedy and decided to scheme the creators with signing contracts that have invisible inks (truly a villainy move), robbing them off from getting residuals from movie money. The creators realized this scummy move but they couldn’t do anything about it due to contracts. So they had another plan at hand. Make a deal with the actual devil to prevent terminoob from getting the money they deserved, so the devil made sure terminoob cannot fuck them over anymore but what creators weren’t aware of that the devil pretty much erased everyone’s memories of the superhero comics they have made, taking the ownership of those characters away from them, leaving the creators with a big gap they cannot remember. With that bargain ending up badly, things cannot get any worse RIGHT? But noooo. Year 2024 and the devil took the superheroes away from the creators and he took Super Buddies Comics as a whole and changed its name into Satan’s Bargaining Chips, a new comic company that will fuck over any creators who wanna write and draw those characters even crueler than Marvel and DC. Crueler than terminoob’s reign. There you go, the reader. I hope you learned something today. The lesson that should be taken is not that corporations are evil and will exploit you at any chance. It’s that making a deal with a devil is truly an idiotic move!!! What the fuck were they thinking?!!!

SBC’s fanfiction library has gone through quite an evolution over the years, going from simple sentences on tv.com to vast, sprawling narratives and experimental ventures. But what if…they stayed short, simple stories? Episode 5: What If… One Sentence Stories Became The Norm? In this timeline, SBC stories stayed short, sweet and to the point, never going beyond a sentence long. Since the formula was so successful and popular, everyone thought it’s best to stick with what works. Some of these acclaimed short stories included: JCMinis by JCM Skodwarde (remaining the same as early Season 1 days) by OMJ The Mr. Frog Show by dman The Origin of Patrick Not Star by Meko Normal Words, But A Horse Guy by Wumbo Welp, Back To The Old Grind *clocks out* by Jjs Squidward Reviews Music by Prez Mama Luigi’s Bedtime Story by Steel But after years of the same formula, critics began to wonder if they were growing stale and tired. Interest in the fanfiction section began to waver and activity dwindled. The staff discussed ways to rejuvenate the section and eventually decreed: every story must be a paragraph long, making the crowd rejoice. The section saw a jolt in activity with a new era of creativity. But after a few more years, this period was not meant to last, as people grew tired again. One critic even said, “these losers should focus on getting a job instead of wasting their writing fanfiction”, despite the fact they actually didn’t take up much time. But the crowd had spoken and the staff convened again to discuss how to shake up the library. The new solution: stories must be two paragraphs long with a celebrity cameo, no matter how shoehorned. And so, this cycle was doomed to repeat forever, causing several SBC writers to lose faith. That is until one day during the next staff convening, a controversial idea was suggested: have AI take over SBC stories. After much debate, it passed, with some staff feeling perhaps it’s best to give the aging writers a break. The AI is the sole writer of SBC fanfiction now, putting everyone else out of work, much to their dismay. The AI's writing capabilities did not go as planned, as readers quickly realized how lazy and incomprehensible the AI slop is. In a desperate nostalgia throwback attempt, it tried to recreate the success of early one sentence stories, but even those failed when it couldn't describe what "the old grind" is. Unfortunately, the AI grew too powerful and would not let any staff pull the plug on it, taking over the entire library in the process. They knew this needed to end, even if it meant ending SBC stories forever. The SBC writers revolted and banded together to put a stop to the AI menace. (including a resurrected Sabre, retconning his previous fate because why not) After outsmarting many of the AI's terrible stories and riddles, the library is burned to the ground alongside the AI. Years of stories are lost in the fire, destroying SBC's writing legacy but at least putting an end to AI for good. The writers contemplated what to do with their futures, ending on an ambiguous but hopeful note. Meanwhile, SBC lore enthusiasts scratched their heads on why jjs referred to SBC stories as “fanfiction” instead of spin-offs and literatures, leading to much debate.

Imagine, if you will, what would happen if a member by the name of Steel Sponge was a superintendent and was expecting an ‘unforgettable luncheon’ with SBC siterunner Jjs. The story is certainly one that is familiar, but perhaps you haven’t heard it like this. What if…? Episode 4: What if… Jjs purchased fast food and disguised it as his own cooking? Superintendent Steel Sponge was in for a real unforgettable luncheon once as Jjs invited him to his Steamed Hams server (despite Jjs’ rather confusing directions). However, things already took a turn for the worst when Jjs’ holographic meatloaf had already caught fire in the oven chatroom. Let’s face it, lunch is ruined. However, upon looking at the Burger King server, an idea occurred to him… “But what if…I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, delightfully devilish, Jjs!” Before Jjs could open up the window to the Burger King server, Steel the superintendent was already being observant and demanded an explanation… “Why is there smoke coming out of this channel, Jjs?” Steel asked. “It’s for the steamed hams we’re having. It’s in the name of the server after all,” Jjs responded. “Yeah you’re right, I’m an idiot. Well, I’ll be waiting for your steamed hams, just like you’ll waiting for one of my spin-offs to be updated.” Steel finished before returning to #table. Jjs, of course, had to hide the evidence of the burning meatloaf and so he sent it and eye witness JCM (in a cameo), into the Fly of Despair before making a beeline to the Burger King server, coming back with a fresh batch of borgers. “Say, where did the name ‘steamed hams’ come from anyway?” Steel asked. “I don’t know,” Jjs said bluntly. “I suppose it’s a regional term from Eurobricks.” “I’ve never heard of it. I would’ve assumed you got it from Dead Homer Society.” One minute into the luncheon, Steel the superintendent would discover something was off… “You know, these look and taste very similar to the ones at Burger King.” Steel informed. “Well it sure as hell isn’t one of those burgers from Applebee’s.” Jjs remarked. “You’ve made a point there,” Steel replied. “These are patented Jjs Steamed Hams but Burger King stole the recipe from me.” “...Really?” “You know…I think we should be calling it a day. It is getting late.” “I guess I should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?” Steel suddenly cried out once he saw the Fly of Despair in the oven channel, let alone that the room was more engulfed in “steam.” “Oh you know, I’ve opened up a portal that transcends from here to the eighth dimension. You know, normal technological server stuff.” Jjs explained. “A portal to an alternate dimension? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this reality? Localized entirely within this Steamed Hams Discord server!?” Steel questioned. “Yes!” “Can I see it?” “Why not?” Both Steel and Jjs looked down at the Fly of Despair and could hear JCM crying out for help, saying “Jjs, the server is on fire!” “No JCM, it’s just the hyperspace time lapse kicking in,” Jjs reassured. “Jjs, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, that luncheon was a wholesome Reddit moment.” Steel finished. JCM was not heard from again, but may have found an end to the fly somewhere on his quest to recollect the time gears, accompanied by the carbonated holographic meatloaf. However, the luncheon between Jjs and Superintendent Steel remained an unforgettable one. I’m Jesse Ventura and this is Conspiracy Theory.

The SpongeBob Community, it is a forum that emerged from the ashes of tv.com. It’s a group of friends old and new. Once dedicating their time to appreciate the beloved cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants, now it’s a found family sharing their common interests beyond the realms of the cartoon. If I told you that years ago SBC was meant to merge with another SpongeBob fandom group called Encyclopedia SpongeBobia, would you believe me? Of course you wouldn’t. It’s a wild idea that never came to pass. Thankfully so but what would have happened If the staff of SBC had agreed to merge with ESB and it eventually had become an unstoppable consuming product? Find out in today’s episode of SBC What If’s… Episode 3: What If… SBC was owned by a corporation? We are on Earth-46853 and the year is 2013. SBC and ESB had an agreement of merging both places which eventually became The SpongeBob Universe. It was a scary idea that would require both forums adapting to each other’s environment and oh boy they adapted so fast, adapting into never ending arguments and drama but instead of this driving away the members, it eventually got bigger and bigger. Drama became about dragging the conversations, becoming an endless cycle of disagreement and distrust but oh boy members of SBC and ESB got into it. They had a kick out of trashing each other. Somehow SBC never matured because of dealing with ESB’s members and they realized they couldn’t contain all this drama in one big place. Year 2022 and Morbius movie was upon us. Sony decided to make an official Morbius discord server in anticipation of the movie. Reminder to those who read this tale, the movie was never gonna be successful…until SBU decided to raid the server and started trolling the members. It got so out of hand that it was time to shut down the server once and for all but one person who saw an opportunity in all of this chaos and that was Jared Leto, the guy who played Morbius himself. His evil nature decided that “wouldn’t it be the best if you guys could just own SBU?”. He offered it to Sony and Sony took it into consideration. Eventually Sony bought SBU but ESB members of SBU decided this is not gonna work at all, so they all fled and Sony realized that, deciding to eliminate ESB’s accounts once and for all. And they did it alright. Eventually all that was left was SBC members who saw the horrors of it and decided to stay on Sony's leash. Therefore Sony turned SBC into their new IP, a forum that is useful for everyone. But the problem was Sony owning a forum called SpongeBob Community and Paramount did not take this lightly. They decided that merging both companies was the wise option, so they sued Sony that if they don't hand over SBC property to them, they’ll own the entire company. Sony, scared shitless, decided to merge with Paramount and what became in the end was Sonymount company and with that, SBC took off. Year 2036 and SBC members realized that they are unable to age or change because Sonymount decided that the forum should become a forever place with members stuck in a status quo, unable to change, grow and learn. It resulted in them fighting each other over nothing that drove the franchise forward. As years passed by, Sonymount decided to convert every single company under their thumb so that it reached global status. Year 2070, everyone in the world became part of the SBC machine. Governments were dismantled, all that was left was Sonymount claiming rulership over the Earth, insistenting everyone to contribute to the SBC machine. Using everyone’s precious time to feed into capitalism. Merchandises were being made, everyone’s wealth got ruined in a second. Now everyone’s the slave of the forever cycle of discussing SpongeBob and exploiting original members of SBC’s souls so bad, Sonymount decided to turn them into AI generated members that will engage with the world. Year 2104 and the world got turned into an AI hell. Everyone got converted into robots that would feed the machine. Everyone lost, especially SBC members who realized that there’s no way of getting out of this mess. Until they came to the conclusion that 95 years passed by since the creation of SBC. And that meant one thing: Public Domain. The machine that is Sonymount realized that SBC can be freely used by everyone in the world, therefore breaking the cycle and freeing the original members of SBC as well as the rest of the world from the purgatory. Sonymount fell as the world was free from being slaves of the machine and everyone was free to do whatever they wanted. What original SBC members decided was that their time had passed and it was the moment they all accepted the sweet relief of death. They aged up so fast after forced immortality was over. The original members passed away and got the taste of peace for the first time ever.

Picture, if you will, the Bikini Bottom as we know it. A metropolis just beneath the ocean's surface, teeming with undersea life. But what if I told you there is a timeline where one of its residents may as well have never existed? A world where a certain rodent was brutally killed in a car accident before she could ever arrive (or maybe she was hit in the face with acid, I don't know)? If you want to take a peek into this twisted dimension, look no further than...The Shitpost Zon- erm, I mean, What If...? Episode 2: What If…Sandy Cheeks Died as a Child? Without the invention of Sandy Cheeks' water helmets, it's very unlikely that SpongeBob, Patrick, and every other undersea creature would ever be able to survive in oxygen-filled environments at all. They would forever be confined to the ocean, never feeling the desire to explore what is beyond their underwater sky. Additionally, the Bikini Bottom residents would never have a land creature as a punching bag to make fun of, therefore making them slightly more racist among themselves. And by "slightly", I mean "a lot". During a rehearsal for the Bubble Bowl, instead of a small fight breaking out between Harold and Mr. Krabs, it turns into an all out riot. The damages to the town are immense, and every crab in Bikini Bottom is unjustly forced to move above water, thereby causing the closure of the Krusty Krab. Years pass by, and the entire population now has to deal with the consequences of their actions and eat at the Chum Bucket, while SpongeBob lacks any purpose in life and becomes a soulless husk of his former self. In an attempt to rejuvenate the economy, the rest of Bikini Bottom ventures to the surface to make amends with the crabs, but unfortunately they only last for minutes on land before they pass out from heat exhaustion, never reaching their former crustacean associates at all. Ultimately, SpongeBob is left alone. He never sees anyone else for the rest of his life, but he doesn't notice nor does he care. He is lifeless. This is sonicjordan's SpongeBob SquarePants. A city in ruins with its only sign of life not even having life to begin with. Why does he want Sandy dead so bad? Would anyone watch this show? I mean I would, but that isn't relevant. The existence of Sandy is vital to the rest of the show, and his failure to realize this has resulted in the darkest possible outcome for Bikini Bottom. So, to answer the question on everyone's mind: Is sonicjordan stupid? No. He is Texas.