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Here's the 50th episode special of SBC What If's, written by both me and dmandaman in the first ever co-write episode of this. Enjoy! I am The Lurker and I cannot intervene…or can I? For the past 49 episodes, I’ve carefully observed the timelines of the SBC shenanigans that could have been, but have never been allowed to meddle…until now. For the 50th episode special, I’m finally getting my time to shine! Episode 50: What If…The Lurker Intervened? The Lurker had grown tired of cataloging SBC’s events across the timelines. There were many times he wished he could’ve intervened but couldn’t due to the laws of the universe. The first Super Bowl Xat fight, the vBulletin move, Robert Ryan Cory’s visit, the Hack-E-Sack Prank, SpongeBob Universe, that time Jjs was fired from Jeopardy for a day, SB&P crashing the Doubloon economy, literally everything G4ry ever did…he weeps at how much tragedy and stupidity could’ve been prevented. No more. He saw an opportunity to finally meddle with SBC affairs, because if this event was allowed to transpire, it would change everything. He was tired of lurking in the shadows and ready to introduce himself to SBC, the laws of the universe be damned. He was prepared to face whatever consequences for what’s about to occur. One seemingly normal day on SBC’s Discord, a conversation like no other is occurring… Carotte: so yes, this proves that roller cowards takes place before valentine's day Steel: And any episode where Squidward's house is missing happens during Good Neighbors. magonlia: Oooh lets add them to the list jjs: what is going on in here sbl: YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE! Jaic: Wait, SpongeBob isn't married in any other episodes. MM&BB must be the last episode chronologically! Hawk: (replying to jjs) they're trying to make a spongebob timeline (which, personally, i think is a terrible idea) jjs: it's 2026, i thought we all agreed that this show has no continuity Winter: but spongebob can never get his driver's license! that's continuity! magnolia: Lets put all the boating school episodes next to each other on the list jjs: actually getting pissed at this rn that makes NO sense, you guys need to stop Prez: Reef blower is the first episode because SpongeBob and Squidward hadn't learned how to speak yet Wumbo: You. jjs: i swear to danny devito if you people say one more stupid thing Carotte: if spongebob is driving a boat just fine in the intro, doesn't that mean it takes place closer to the end of the series? jjs: I'LL KILL YOU- The Lurker joined the party. The Lurker: Ahem. Hawk: whose alt is this The Lurker: I am no alt, I am the Lurker. My own moral code dictates that I do not intervene, and I normally heed this...but this argument is so fucking stupid that I couldn't resist stepping in. jjs: hmm, i suppose things did get a little heated there The Lurker: A little? From what I saw, you were about to ban a good portion of this server just because they were passionate fans. And you know what that means? They would've splintered off into their own community, leaving SBC to die! Everyone: collective gasp The Lurker: That's right! The community as we know it was about to end, and that's why I made the choice to intervene just this once. Besides, there's a simple solution: just ask them to move this discussion into a new thread. jjs: you're right; my apologies to everyone for getting so angry over nothing Carotte: also sorry for unintentionally instigating you, we'll discuss this in the proper channel next time magnolia: I don’t care that much about the list anymore actually Steel: Honestly, I was just playing along for the funnies. The Lurker: It appears my work here is done... Winter: WAIT, before you leave, what's your stance on how the show treats continuity? The Lurker: Are you kidding? There's an episode with a gorilla underwater, and the continuity's what you're focusing on? Jaic: That wasn't a gorilla, it was just some guy in a suit. You can see his mouth. Prez: Aren't all the spongebob characters just guys in suits The Lurker: ...what have I done. [The Lurker leaves the server.] Carotte: but what about the fish who went to the head replacement clinic? Steel: Must've been a guy wearing two layers of fish suits. jjs: oh my god The Lurker is proud he finally used his powers to prevent a tragedy from befalling the community. He decides to go outside and touch grass in a rare opportunity, only to be apprehended by the Cosmic Internet Council. They warned him what would happen if he broke his vow to never intervene, so they subject him to one of the cruelest forms of punishment: Forcibly watching every cartoon reviewer's videos. After that agonizing torture is over, they let him off with a warning but remind him what happened to the Lurker of No Homers Club when they kept breaking their vow, which makes Lurker gulp. Lurker is ashamed of his actions now and goes on a journey of self-discovery. After a trek through the stars, The Lurker comes to his old cosmic childhood home: The Last Blockbuster in Bend, Oregon. He enters, seeing shelves of untouched movies and games, recognizing many of the same products from when he was last here. Pa Lurker is sitting in a chair alone in the shadows, and staring at a computer. He then turns around upon hearing his son enter. Pa Lurker: Oh. Hello son. The Lurker: Hello dad. Pa Lurker: You still taste sugar? The Lurker: No thank you, I’m trying to watch my figure. Pa Lurker: Haven’t heard from you in a while. Lurker: Yeah, I-I’ve been busy. Pa Lurker: You know, your mother passed away three months ago… Terminally online illness. She asked about you… Everyone does. Saw you on that popular show, lurking that SpongeBob forum… or whatever it was… Then we all saw you intervene and nearly destroy the universe. The Council told me. [Lurker is shocked] Everyone said to me, “Oh, how’s your boy doing? You must be so proud of him.” I would nod my head, but I didn’t have the heart to tell them I was embarrassed… Embarrassed to see you on that show, making a fool of yourself, making a fool of the Lurker name! Do you have any idea, ANY idea how hard it’s been for me? Lurker: I-I’m sorry… Pa Lurker: [slams table as he stands up] SORRY?! Be sorry for your poor mother, whose last words were, “Where is he? Where’s my boy? Where’s my boy?” No, NO! You walked out on this family, and now you come back? NOW, you have the nerve to show your face around here?! YOU'RE A DISGRACE! Get out of my house...! I have no son… Now disgraced by SBC, the Cosmic Internet Council and his own father, Lurker sadly left. He has a crashout and destroys random shit outside; he also throws a tree with impressive anime strength. He then reflects, wondering what his purpose has truly been. He goes into a spiritual meditation and has a vision of an old computer running Windows 98, sitting in a blank void. Computer of Knowledge: Hello, Lurker. You did it. You’ve achieved inner peace. Lurker: Hello. Who are you? Computer of Knowledge: I am the Computer of Knowledge. I have all the answers to all of life’s questions. But before I reveal them, there is something I must ask you. Lurker: Okay. Computer of Knowledge: I’ve been acting really slow lately and I’m just going around asking anybody who can help, I mean anybody who can help, um, with my computer because it’s a real problem. I need myself to work. Lurker: Uh, maybe it’s a virus? Computer of Knowledge: No no, I called Geek Squad and they said it wasn’t a virus, so I know it’s not that. I know it’s not that, um… Lurker: Uh, I don’t know, I… I really have no idea, sorry. Computer of Knowledge: Yeah me neither, I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Um… I mean when I say, uh brow-like slow browser, does that scream software to you or a hardware problem? Lurker: …Oh, I don’t know. I was only good at lurking with computers. Computer of Knowledge: No that’s cool man, I mean I figured, I appreciate the help anyways...I’ll probably just need to become a whole new computer at this point. Lurker: Alright, what am I doing here? Computer of Knowledge: Oh yeah… You just need to browse SBC on me and all will be clear. Lurker: Okay. [Lurker reaches for the Computer of Knowledge, lightning sparking out of the latter. A vortex swirls around and brightens as Lurker gets closer. When his hand finally reaches the Computer of Knowledge’s keyboard, he quickly types to find SBC. Then, his pupils start dilating and the camera zooms into him. A flash of moments throughout Lurker’s entire life and SBC adventures are quickly shown one frame at a time before cutting to black.] Lurker has ascended, becoming the first (and only) Windows 9. SBC is proudly displayed on the screen. Now he could keep lurking SBC forever in real time, but at the cost of his humanity and any ability to intervene. Lurker: (computer voice) See ya later, Bran Flakes.

The Lurker: Throughout countless millennia, we here at the SpongeBob Community have seen hypothetical situations involving nazi squids, handsome squids and eldritch starfish abominations. Today, I shall take you on an urban exploration of another likely scenario of similar hypothetical proportions. Today, this lurker begs the question: Episode 49: “What If…SpongeBob was a Gangster?” Episode 1a) Bang Bang Meep Meep: One day, Gangster SB finally made parole and was released back out into society. His parole officer and ride or die, Patrick Star, recommended that he get into a good, honest line of work. For instance, the Krusty Krab is now hiring. Gangster SB boat jacks some poor schmo, breaks his leg and runs over a shitload of Incidentals on the way over. Once at the restaurant, he comes upon Mr. Krabs and Squidward, one of whom is currently mourning the loss of their previous fry cook who passed away under mysterious circumstances. Gangster SB is like “fuck a job” and lays out the terms for his own brand of “Help” that seems “needed” moreso than “Wanted”, but Squidward, being Gangster SB’s literal next door neighbor and thus aware of all the yellow and pink company that he keeps, tells Gangster SB’s bitch ass to get bent back on Inferno Island. Squidward and his boss, as well as Gangster SB, all have a hearty laugh at his rape joke/deep pull ahh reference combo before Gangster SB decides to leave the premises amicably. As soon as Gangster SB leaves, Krabs is able to smell trouble coming a mile away. However, he has trouble discerning the exact stench until it hits him like a bus: “Anchoviiiiiieeeeez! With a Z!” Krabs cries out as a gang of anchovies pull up looking to shake the infamous penny pincher down. Krabs decides he has taken these Anchoviez’s shit for too long and orders Squidward to politely ask them to leave his restaurant. The Anchoviez don’t take too kindly to Squidward’s passive aggressive brand of smartassery, so they break three of his tentacles to get their point across. Krabs and Squidward retreat to higher ground and are literally clinging on for dear life when Gangster SB returns with a SIG and sawed-off in both hands and lights the whole place up to tune of “Natural Born Killaz” by Dr. Dre ft. Ice Cube, forcing any surviving anchovy left to retreat. Krabs thanks him for the help that was very much wanted in that moment, but Squidward would rather rim job Bubble Bass after some light cardio than be indebted to this piece of sea snow. Krabs officially accepts Gangster SB’s offer of protection for his restaurant from here on out. Patrick arrives to check in to see if Gangster SB is getting along fine at his new job, and Gangster SB strong arms the Krusty Krew into covering for him. Gangster SB contemplates offing Patrick right then and there, putting the barrel of his gun up to the back of Patrick’s hollow ass skull with his finger on the trigger, but ultimately decides that he may still have his uses in his “organization” Episode 1b) Whistle Blower One day, Gangster SB is dealing reefer out of his pineapple drug house in broad daylight, which is all the reason his next door neighbor Squidward needs to snitch on his ass and remove him and his bad influence from the neighborhood. Squidward calls the cops, but it’s soon revealed that they’ve been paid off by Gangster SB. The episode ends with them procuring Squidward’s silence by stomping his snitching ass into the ground. Episode 1c) Showdown at the Weedome One day, Gangster SB was on his way to collect his money from Krabs when he was suddenly interrupted by sounds of a struggle. Not wanting anyone else to muscle in on his turf, Gangster SB goes to investigate and sees a female land squirrel defending herself against a giant clam. He pulls out his “Handbook 4 da Recently Gangster” to find out that this creature is what’s considered a “baby girl” and automatically grabs his semi-automatic in order to get into her scuba suit, but the squirrel handily busts out her own semi-automatic and guns the clam down. Somehow impressed, the baby squirrel named Sandy invites SpongeBob to her weed farm for tea and pot nut brownies. Soon coming to suspect that this could all be some sorta elaborate set-up, Gangster SB invites his parole officer, Patrick, to come with to dissuade any funny business. After Patrick offers Gangster SB some friendly parole officer fingering advice by advising him to use his only pinky, Gangster SB and Patrick finally arrive at Sandy’s dank ass “Weedome”. Gangster SB quickly comes to find out that both he and Patrick won’t be able to survive for long under its extreme lockdown open air conditions. Gangster SB realizes this is so obviously a trap, even Squidward could’ve seen it past his big ass nose. This is when Sandy finally drops the act and reveals she’s a Texas sheriff tasked with bringing Gangster SB, who is wanted in more than 100 Texas counties, to justice. This joint operation gets underway, with the finest of Bikini Bottom and Texas both arriving in full force to bring Gangster SB down. Gangster SB brandishes his AK and uses Patrick as a starfish shield. This leads to an intense standoff until the paid off BBPD officers from the last segment start picking off Sandy’s deputies one by one. Sheriff Sandy takes note of this development and blasts both their brains out. This distraction allows Gangster SB to call in reinforcements. The war buses carrying Anchoviez arrive to even the odds, one of them running down Sheriff Sandy when she was already a grown squirrel. The Anchoviez overwhelm the law on all fronts, and with their Sheriff already gravely injured, the Texans are forced into a hasty retreat back to dry land. Gangster SB, meanwhile, uses the chaos to flee the scene with Patrick in tow. Patrick plays dumb about the whole ordeal, which is all Gangster SB needs to know that his continued cooperation is secured. Gangster SB drops his parole officer off at a secluded location while a mortally wounded Sheriff Sandy gets into contact with Captain Blue SquarePants of the Bikini Bottom Police Department. She relays that members of his police force turned on her and her deputies which led to his nephew escaping justice. Captain Blue is just as surprised as she is, which she doesn’t buy his bullshit one bit. The Lurker: Yes, they ARE ALL Gangsters, aren’t they?

My folks and friends, the Covid crisis is not over. Stay home and stay safe. We will be extending Ontario’s state of emergency, which means you cannot buy diapers at Wal-Mart and all playgrounds will have police tape around them. In the meantime, you can find lots of entertaining things to do on the Internet. For example, have you seen my Cherry Cheese Cake recipe? All you have to do is put cherry cheese cake filling in a bowl and bake it. Holy Christ! So easy even a Liberal can do it. And what’s more, I came across this great website celebrating the joys of childhood through stubbornly refusing to let go of a series for children. SpongeBob SquarePants. We stand with our Bikini Bottom allies as we fight the ongoing tariffs brought upon us by the Trump administratio-IM GONNA CUT OFF YOUR POWER DETROIT, DONT FUCK WITH ME ILL FUCKING DO IT- anyway, I looked upon this website and thought to myself, you know, this is great and #OntarioStrong and all that, but what if I ran it? I think I would do a much better job. What I'm trying to ask is… Episode 51: What If… I, Doug Ford, Governed SBC? Folks, let’s start this story from the beginning. As we all know, The SpongeBob Community started as an offshoot of tv.com, a site dedicated to the discussion of television in all forms. Now, I’m no stranger to the act of watching television - it’s how I kept up with my late brother’s antics. But you don’t have to be an avid Storage Wars Canada watcher to know that tv.com was an authoritarian hellscape devoid of any human empathy and cooperation. So I know what you’re thinking: “That sounds perfect and I would fit right in!” True enough, my fellow Ontarians. But unfortunately, tv.com has become defunct in the last decade or so. Much like the Ontario government under the Liberal leadership of Kathleen Wynne. I couldn’t let the same happen to SBC. So, I came in as a moderator. Now folks, being a moderator of SBC is not all fun and games. Holy Christ! Have you guys heard about this thing called “double posting”? Believe me, it’s not as fun as it sounds. It’s not like double-fisting timmies egg sandwiches in each hand. The yahoo’s of this website simply weren’t editing their posts. So I had to ban a few spammers, knock a few heads. Anything to keep the spirit and hope of SBC alive. Jjsthekid - they put a kid in charge of this website, can you believe it? - was so impressed by my moderating prowess that he stepped down and made me head gorilla of SBC. Things were going to look different in this community under my rule. First off, we needed to revamp this entire doubloons system. The folks of this forum were wasting their hard-earned doubloons on frivolous things like name changes. Now, I’m not against the BLT community or anything, but when users start changing their names on online forums it’s a slippery slope that leads us to teaching consent in Ontario schools! Holy Christ! I put a stop to that immediately, and also removed the “King Neptune for a Day”, replacing it with Yahoo Privilege. If you buy Yahoo Privilege at the SBC Store, you have free reign to do whatever sort of Covid-spreading activities you like, only between the hours of 1-3 PM and only on Wednesdays. And you can’t buy diapers at Wal-Mart, unless you have a specific pass to do so, that can be obtained through guessing what months the schools will be locked down and/or open for business. The rules could not be any simpler. Don’t make me cut education budgets again. You know my governance only works when the populace is uneducated! Where was I? Oh yes. With the rising cost of tariffs in the doubloon system, I had to act fast. I immediately set up a Dub a Beer payment program to deliver alcohol to SBCers’ houses for only one doubloon. It was then that I discovered that sometimes people on a SpongeBob forum are underage. Who knew? That was my first encounter with controversy in my reign. I tearfully got on the podium to apologize to the yahoo’s for my yahoo-like behaviour, and vowed I would do better by Listening and Responding to Your Concerns. My biggest concern was finding a way to sweep this whole mess under the rug. That’s when I came up with the perfect distraction! I organized a trans-SpongeBobian highway between SBC and SpongeBuddyMania, intent on finally creating the elusive SpongeBob Universe and finally being ruler of the universe. Take that, Trudeau! Unfortunately, my idea went over about as well as a hot air balloon full of cherry cheese cake. Outraged, the people of SBC demanded an election to strip me of my powers. But by that point, it was 2023, and no one actually visited SBC anymore. So I retained my power due to lack of interested voters (Author’s Note: HINT HINT FUCKING HINT) and continued to rule SBC up to this day. Boy, I sure wish people would come back and visit. Maybe I should finally learn how Discord works. Until next time, beware of swallowing bees.

"Boys (Summertime Love)" by Sabrina (1987) "Sausalito Summernight" by Diesel (1981) "Summer in the City" by The Lovin' Spoonful (1966) "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama (1983) "Summer of '81" by Mondo Rock (1981) "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams (1984) "Summer Night City" by ABBA (1979) "Suddenly Last Summer" by The Motels (1983) "Vacation" by The Go-Go's (1982) "Summer Nights" by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John (1978) "Saturday in the Park" by Chicago (1972) "School's Out" by Alice Cooper (1972) "Summer Breeze" by Seals & Crofts (1972) "Rock Lobster" by The B-52's (1979) "Steal My Sunshine" by Len (1999) "Where Do You Go?" by No Mercy (1996) "Crush" by Jennifer Paige (1998) "Club Tropicana" by WHAM! (1983) "Endless Summer Nights" by Richard Marx (1987)

greetings comrades! to start this pride month, we're gonna talk about pretty patties...or a better name, PRIDE patties! they look so delicious but it has some side effects that might bother you! so i'm asking, which effect wouldn't you mind having?

For a premise that at least sounded fun on paper, I found this to be anything but. I give it 0.9 Happy Krabby Birthdays out of 5 Whale of a Birthdays.

Since the first episode debuted in fall 2023, The Amazing Digital Circus has become one of the most hyped internet creations of all time. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, here's the basic idea: Our main characters are a group of people who've been involuntarily trapped in the video game-like world of a computer, given cartoon character bodies, stripped of the memory of their original names, and controlled by the erratic whims of an AI "ringmaster" known as Caine. Unlike most invocations of the "people trapped in a game world" trope, however, there's no way to win, no way to lose, and no way to die in the Digital Circus. In between partaking in outlandish adventure games of Caine's creation, all the "players" can do is try not to go insane, or they risk slipping past a mental point of no return and becoming corrupted monsters. It's an existential crisis inside of a pop-up I Spy book, essentially. Through the eyes of Pomni, the newest addition to the group, we see how the inhabitants of the Circus cope with the apparent meaninglessness of their existences, and how they get along not only with Caine, but each other. The end of TADC is upon us; the uber-anticipated finale hits theaters tomorrow, and Youtube premiere two weeks later (when I'll personally be watching it). Until then, I thought it would be a great idea for us to have a two-part (re)watch of the series so far: four episodes one night on this coming weekend, and the next four on the next weekend. That way, whether you haven't seen it at all yet, or you want a refresher of your memories, we'll all be ready for the finale. My target day and time for the two watch parties, to take place on SBC Discord, is Sunday the 7th and 14th at 7PM Eastern. If that sounds good with y'all, then it's what we'll do. If not, feel free to suggest another time.

I meant for this to be a thing for during Arcade Anarchy l but I got caught up in some stuff. Still.... I'm not exactly late for the anniversary of my favorite Spongebob game! I'm still quite early! (This was supposed to come with an animation but I might as well show what I DO have before it DOES become genuinely late and I'm still learning things with what I wanted to do.) Still tho-! Happy 20th Anniversary, Creature from the Krusty Krab!! CFTKK- Worm Dreaming.mp3 This was sort of an imagining of like a weird little continuation of the ending of the game and then combining ideas of both Diesel Dreaming and Alaskan Belly Trouble. I know it's not the usual art thing but I make music too and I kinda blame this game for inspiring me with some of the more atmospheric (and clowny- looking at you Hypnotic Highway) tracks I do. Maybe I'll share more if anyone is interested in that. Also I hope all of you are doing well! I like checking in from time to time when I can.^^

Request by our lord @Steel Sponge No shock to anyone here that I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I have loved this franchise since I was a kid and I still have affection for it to this day, even if we are in an era that caters to fans who will never be satisfied. I have watched every Star Wars movie to this day (except Mandalorian and Grogu which I might skip cuz nothing interesting happens in it and you have to pay me to see it in theaters, including my ticket), therefore I'll rank each Star Wars movie I have seen from worst to best. Here we go! Everyone and their mother tore this movie to shreds that there isn't anything else to say at this point. But since I'm ranking these movies, might as well say it anyways. This is the biggest cowardice Star Wars will ever be. Appealing to a group of haters who couldn't stand the fact that Rey was not special. It spits on the idea of Star Wars in which anyone can be a hero, you do not have to have a special lineage to do so. The idea of Rey being a Palpatine does not serve her character at all. It's a retread of Luke's arc, only much less emotionally impactful. J.J. Abrams sidelines Finn, Poe and Rose (especially Rose) here, the main poc characters in this movie (Making your main latino character a former spice runner is certainly a choice). Gives Kylo Ren a redemption, even though the most interesting thing about him was the fact that he became a baddie on his own accord that he no longer needed anyone else. Cringe MCU-lite dialogue that does not fit Star Wars. A lot of this movie is painfully bad and the most hilarious aspect of it is the fact that it pleased barely anyone. What a waste. Early Clone Wars era was rough for sure. I do not hate this compared to other people cuz this was basically a 4 episode arc that became a theatrical movie but even though I watched this movie in theaters as a kid, I definitely was not impressed by it. Although a lot of it was me questioning which timeline does it take place (cuz I hadn't watched prequels during that time), I revisited it during my Clone Wars binge and it truly was something. Focusing on adventures of Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka and Rotta the Hutt (who was a baby here, now a gladiator in another Star Wars tv episode turned movie), you can see how this movie is gonna go. I don't wanna be as harsh on this since this introduces Ahsoka who will have a brilliant arc from Clone Wars to Rebels. She serves fine here and I like her banter with Anakin in this. The problem is that this should have been a big deal since people wanted to see the events of Clone Wars but this movie is barely about the war and more about rescuing a baby Hutt. CGI is bland and the story is so dull. It's a miracle Clone Wars eventually became one of the strongest Star Wars pieces ever made but this was not the ideal start for sure. There are aspects of prequel movies I'll always defend, even if they can be such cheesy movies. Unfortunately this movie just bores me to tears. That isn't to say there isn't good stuff here but unlike other prequel movies, it's a struggle to pinpoint those. I think this movie does a poor job with Anakin's slow turn to darkness. Anakin massacres a Tuskin tribe (INCLUDING WOMEN AND CHILDREN TOO) cuz they killed his mother and Padme is so apathetic to the fact that Anakin killed WOMEN AND CHILDREN. I live in Middle East and although I'm not an arab, i can see the fact that Tuskins are just oriental alien arabs living in sand, therefore them being portrayed as savages killing Anakin's mom definitely rubbed me the wrong way and I'm not so sure what is the takeaway from this. Are we supposed to be angry about Anakin committing this massacre? If so, why is Padme not reacting negatively to this much? If the idea was to portray Padme in the wrong for not caring about this, then the story doesn't call her out either. Padme is written so poorly in the prequel era that I'm amazed by how much Clone Wars salvages her and makes her romance with Anakin click cuz it feels more messy and complex and Padme has more interiority. Their romance in this movie is bland, Hayden and Natalie have barely any chemistry. Fight scenes are okay but there is barely anything standing out. Except Yoda's flip moves I guess. It's not the worst Star Wars movie but of all Lucas made ones, this takes the cake for sure. This line is iconic though, go off queen. This was such a bland movie that was salvaged so hard by the third act. I admit that I was too harsh on them for killing of the entire cast cuz I think the beauty of the third act is the fact that they all died, so they could give the Rebellion hope. Granted, this movie kinda exists to explain the small plot detail in A New Hope but seeing them sacrifice their lives for something greater is even more impactful after watching Andor. Jyn dying alongside Cassian who kept looking for his sister who possibly never made it as a child but eventually gained a new sister through Jyn is so tearjerky. The score is brilliant, visuals are stunning and the actors are giving it their all. If only the first two acts weren't so unmemorable beyond a few memes here and there. I was not so into how Darth Vader's dialogue was written in this. It comes across too forced for me. The final scene with Vader killing all the rebel leaders is kickass but it also exists just for the fanservice purpose. And there is the elephant in the room, the goddamn deepfake of Leia which was so fucking jarring and definitely paved way for what they'd do with Luke 4 years later, yuck. This was such a serviceable movie that exists for funsies. I truly did not need to know about Han Solo's deal but it's harmless for the most part. Some decent action and fun banter between Han and Lando. People were way too harsh on Alden Ehrenreich's role in this. He does a perfectly good job as Han and I think it should have been encouraged to have him keep playing Han. Donald Glover as Lando was truly great, no notes here. He is so charming in this, If only we got that Lando spin-off now... Qi'ra was a good edition to Star Wars lore and I dug her story and her relationship with Han. It's not a great movie but you can sit back and tune in for a bit if you want something light and breezy. I have two biggest problem with this movie. One of them is the shoehorned Maul cameo which existed just to set up a sequel. I love Maul but that was so unnecessary, arguably his only scene that makes me annoyed. The other one being a silly origin for Han's last name. Sometimes less is more. I'm not so butthurt about learning more about Han but did we have to do that? Not everything needs to be explained, leave it up to interpretation lmao. Oh well, what's done is done. This movie's fanbase is among the worst ever and they can kiss my ass. However, I kinda like this movie? It's such a flawed movie don't get me wrong. Awful CGI, boring senator meetings (no one could do it like Andor, I'm afraid.) and Watto of all things. But It's a fun time and it doesn't make me wanna look at my watch like Attack of the Clones did. My hot take maybe is that Jar Jar is funny here. Sure, he is an unnecessary comic relief in this. A pure dumbass that causes nothing but trouble but you know what? He can be amusing. We have had much worse characters from this franchise for me to be mad at him in the year 2026. "Uh oh big boomas" and "exsqueeze" me make me laugh, I'm sorry. Other than that, I like the way Anakin and Obi-Wan are introduced here. Anakin is so fun in this and I like Obi-Wan as Qui-Gon's Padawan in this until he graduates to become a Knight and take care of Anakin. Pod race scene is so exciting and joyful to watch. John Williams goes apeshit with the soundtrack, especially Duel of the Fates. Speaking of that, this movie introduces Darth Maul who got a badass fight scene but eventually got the short end of stick until Clone Wars revived him and made him my favorite villain in this franchise ever. I admire it more now cuz of what it leads to. This movie was clowned on so much back in early 00s and I get that it was tonally jarring after coming off of a banger trilogy but you know, if liking this movie is illegal, I'll make it legal! The movie I put as #1 on my 2015's best movies list a decade ago. I truly was on the hype back then along with many people who felt Star Wars was so back. I watched it alongside my former university friends back then and that was nothing but a brilliant experience and I'll never forget the memories I had with them there. But as years pass by, I realize that this movie is not actually that good. Everything about this rehashing A New Hope is true. We replay the hits with this one, especially Starkiller or whatever it was called which kills not just one but multiple planets, the impact is just not there for me. The only time I felt it was enriched in a way was when the main character in Star Wars: Resistance cartoon had his planet killed (look at another Star Wars media making stuff that did not work in the movie work). I could have been invested in this if this was more of a commentary on how fascism will always appear when you think it has died and you claimed victory but outside of Hux's speech, it doesn't go anywhere in that territory. We are introduced to the new trio, Rey, Finn and Poe as well as the villain Kylo Ren. I really like their introduction here, even if I think some of it could have been retooled. It is kinda weird that Poe gives Finn a name and then dies, Finn forgets about him for a while until he returns. Surely you could have made it more interesting by having Finn be devastated by the death of a person who actually treated him like a human but regardless, I love him and Poe's dynamic here and it was one of the first cases which I actually saw how romantic they were towards each other and Disney was such a coward for not leaning into that. Rey I thought was great for the most part. People were truly wack when they thought Rey was portrayed perfectly cuz she goes through obstacles and eventually has to find a way to survive but fans sure as hell are mad and need Rey to justify why she is so skilled, even though we know why if you pay attention... Then there is Kylo Ren who shines bright in this. I like that compared to Vader, he is such a manchild who struggles to live up to his grandfather's legacy but what I find so engaging about him is the fact that he had good parental figures but ultimately was drawn to the dark side. I loved when he killed Han, that was one of the most compelling parts of the movie and it was a shame his turn to become the worst was undercut by another redemption arc. This was definitely a fun, albeit a shaky start to an overall messy trilogy. A lot if it is retreads of a much more iconic movie but new elements were worth keeping until they were butchered so hard. Now for Star Wars movies I actually love... The black sheep of Star Wars movies. Truly the most divisive story in the franchise. The one that officially broke the Star Wars fandom that we still feel the effects nearly a decade later. But you know what? I still admire it years later. This is the movie that understands Star Wars more than most creators in tv and movies tried to achieve. But before I get into all that, I can understand some of the criticisms. Poe's subplot feels a bit aimless as Rian Johnson is trying to make him distinct from J.J. Abrams sorta making him Han Solo of the new group, making him brash and abrasive which I was interested in but that was a jarring plot for sure. Finn and Rose storyline hurt Finn as a character for me, I really did not buy his progression from TFA to this. Although I'll defend Rose rescuring Finn from a pointless suicide mission any time of the day. That being said, everything with Rey, Kylo Ren and Luke clicks from the jump. I truly did not give a fuck about Snoke getting killed, that bitch was never interesting compared to Kylo Ren (and especially even less interesting now cuz of the retcon). Luke stuff did not really bother me when I first saw it and I felt like people had trouble seeing what Johnson was doing with him here. Rey and Kylo moments though, just perfect. Rey realizing that she isn't someone special was a powerful message cuz you don't need to have a special lineage to be a Jedi or Sith. Kylo Ren's arc moves into a great place as he finally realizes that he can forge his own path of villainy, apart from Vader and Snoke. That made him such a unique villain for a minute and I was so excited for him to be the final boss, only for Abrams to undo all that impact. I truly love this movie, despite its flaws cuz it understands the core themes of Star Wars and at the same time, it asks us to move forward. Have new meanings out of it and not rely on the past. That's why Luke's sacrifice at the end was so poetic. He did one final victory, becoming the beacon for the Resistance to move forward. That was so poetic. One memory from my life that I wanna go back to for this movie is that my dad has never seen The Force Awakens but he did watch The Last Jedi on TV while it was airing. When he finished the movie, he told me that he really liked it. Star Wars was one of the few things I was connected with my dad about, so him saying that to me is a lot more meaningful and true to me than whatever nostalgic chud wanna say how they ruined Star Wars cuz of woke or whatever. That isn't to say you can't dislike this movie for actual constructive criticisms. I get some of the criticisms and we can have meaningful discussion out of them but If the discussion is gonna be about how diversity is ruining the franchise or whatever, get out of my way. I rambled too much, this movie is so fucking good. This was sure as hell a satisfying conclusion to the original trilogy. It wraps up everything nicely and have our characters grow and change. Luke and Darth Vader's last confortation leads to a really emotional fight scene with Luke going back and forth with the force. Trying to not fall into the dark side that his father is tempting him with. What is so great about lightsaber scenes is when two opponents have conflict which makes for juicy storytelling. You can see Luke's frustration and rage when Vader is trying to bring the worst in him. But he eventually overcomes Vader's tricks and chooses light which made for a great development for Luke. But I think the real emotional growth was Vader standing up to The Emperor Plapatine when he was striking Luke. Killing him (shut up, og one is dead in my canon) in the process and acting one last heroism and getting closure with his son. Luke seeing his father's face for the first time, how can you not cry? We get one last victory with Leia, Han and Ewoks killing Stormtroopers and Leia and Han finally declaring their love towards each other without anything to tear them apart this time and we get our happy ending with Luke, Leia and Han celebrating their victory with Ewoks and Luke making a funeral for his father and at the end, seeing his ghost with Obi-Wan and Yoda. It just works. Maybe criticising this movie wouldn't be so fair and I don't have too many issues. Maybe the fact that I wish we get to see Han not being so easily forgiving towards Lando at first. I would have loved to see them actually work through their issues and joining side by side for this epic battle. And the second Death Star felt a bit like Lucas had no idea how to top the climax of A New Hope, so he had to put it here as well. But yk, it won't be weird as Starkiller in The Force Awakens. Other than that, I have no complaints, although it's definitely not my top 3 for sure cuz I think top 3 was a lot more impactful to me. Regardless, great movie and a beautiful finale (until it wasn't). This was one movie I had been keeping on hold for this long because I wanted to watch it right after Clone Wars cartoon ended. I was not sure if it was a wise decision or not cuz this movie still works without seeing Clone Wars but I think watching 7 seasons of that show and actually learning more about Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme and the clones, it made the tragedy sting a lot harder. Seeing Order 66 happen here as Obi-Wan and Yoda are betrayed by the clones and Anakin fall into the dark side by killing Mace Windu, all of that hits so hard. Especially Anakin and Obi-Wan's fight after Anakin leads to Padme's death. The dialogue is something for sure but i think the emotional impact is still there because you see Obi-Wan felt betrayed by Anakin and vice versa. Obi-Wan seemingly leading to Anakin's death and then Palpatine resurrecting Anakin to become Darth Vader was a tragic end to this trilogy. This was a movie with awkward and clunkily written dialogue like other prequel movies but unlike the other two, I honestly just dig how bizarre the dialogue can be. Is it tonally clashing and badly written? Sure but you know, I'm having a blast. What makes them work is because a lot of them come from Palpatine and Ian McDiarmid does amazing line delivery every step of the way. He truly steals the show (and the galaxy) because he is just that good. I can quote "I am the Senate" and "It is treason then" anytime baby. Although every other corny line in the movie by other actors still works just as much. Obi-Wan and General Grievous exchange always gets me. It's such a fun time but also very grim. I liked that it ends both hopeful and also sad. It's not just the best prequel movie, it's one of the best Star Wars movies. This is it. This is the movie that shook the world. It's difficult to explain why this movie is so great but hopefully I'll try my best on it. The introduction of Luke, Leia and Han is just top notch. You get to see what Luke and Han were like before they were dragged into a galactic conflict and Leia being in the middle of it already. You already sense the war changing them as a result and becoming heroes by the end of it. The worldbuilding of this movie is genuinely impressive. You get little nuggets of what galaxy was like before Empire and how it functions now. Each paving way for what Lucas and other creators will do forward. Practical effects are so lively and alien designs are so cool and unique. You are tossed into a space fantasy sci-fi and you cannot get out of it. IMO Star Wars movie is such a classic good defeats evil story but also deep down, it is Lucas reflecting on Vietnam War and how USA is The Empire. It's a powerful revolution story and no wonder people are attached to it cuz it is common people trying to stop a fascistic regime that terrorizes existence. You are introduced to the main villain Darth Vader who uses Death Star to blow up Leia's home planet. 5 decades later, this couldn't be more true to life unfortunately as multiple genocides across the world are happening. You know that Empire has to go and heroes have to defeat them, it's a timeless tale and that's why this movie is so iconic and resonates with people. Obvious pick for #1 but can you blame me? It is not just the best Star Wars movie but one of the greatest sequels and one of the best movies ever made. Everything about it is so powerful. From the acting, to visuals to score. The story is so tragic and sad it gets you so pumped. Everyone knows by now the twist of Vader being Luke's father but whether you know the twist or not, the scene was so emotionally impactful. Seeing Luke's denial and rage after Vader beat him up so severely, it's tragic. Knowing that your father was not a hero but the villain who causes terror in the galaxy, it breaks him. Causes him to question everything and what he stands for. You already see Luke grappling with dark side tempting him and seeing a vision that he might become like Darth Vader. What happens when the person you are supposed to defeat for peace is your dad? It creates a whole new conflict for Luke and it enriches the character. I like when heroes suffer, so they can overcome the obstacles and win the day and this movie is essential for that. It's not just a test for Luke but also for Leia and Han. Leia and Han deal with their own issues as they are afraid to admit their love for each other. Fisher and Ford has such rich chemistry with each other, they truly sell you on how Leia and Han mean to each other. It culminates with Leia and Han admitting their love for the first time and it's a simple but beautiful exchange that makes for such a good romantic tale. Eventually they get seperated as Han is frozen and sent to Jabba the Hutt and Leia has to be the one to rescue him now, after the first movie, it becomes the other way around. On top of all that, you get introduced to great characters like Lando and Yoda. Lando steals the scene with his charisma and manners and Yoda is just a fun gremlin who becomes a mentor for Luke after passing of Obi-Wan Kenobi. You get to see more cool planets and structures. Awesome gears and machines as well as cool costumes and uniforms. Overall, the movie added so much flavor to this franchise and it reshaped the entertainment industry for good. Powerful tragic tale that ends on one glimpse of hope as Luke is rescued by Leia, Chewie and Lando and knowing that the fight isn't over yet. Exciting and breathtaking locations, kickass action, memorable dialogue and thrilling music. It's truly amazing and it'll forever be one of my favorite movies ever. I know this request was couple of days ago and I certainly didn't expect to talk this much about the franchise but I can't help myself. Star Wars means so much to me. How It reshaped my life, how it means to me personally when it comes to my relationship with my dad and how much of a blast it is to see good guys uniting and creating a revolution that ends tyranny. It's beautiful. Even when I don't have the excitement for the future of this franchise, it'll always be a special galaxy far far away.

Episode 9: I AM SO HIGH Hold on a minute. Who the hell is this guy? Isn't this a Nickelback song? Chad Kroeger featuring Josey Scott? Josey Scott of the band Saliva? A band willingly called themselves that? Fuck it. He's the character of today. After performing with the great Chad Kroeger on top of a rooftop, Josey Scott went on to promote his band's song "Click Click Boom" for use in Spider-Man 2. After getting rejected in favour of Train, Scott decided to up the ante by forming a new band called Spit Take, recording the songs "Boom Boom Click" and "Villain". Critics rightly found this all very derivative, so Josey Scott went back to Saliva, spat on a bunch of new mics recording a new album, and lived out his life grateful he didn't horribly embarrass himself like Aaron Lewis. Wait, let me check... oh, he does Christian rock now. Never mind. I'm not gonna stand here and wait.

Nooooooo! We just canceled our tv channel bundle

SpongeBob: "Hey, Patrick! I thought of something funnier than 24 or 5 to 3..." Patrick: "What?" SpongeBob: "25 or 6 to 4!" Patrick: "I don't get it..."

Wanted to make this match happen back when Titans of the Tide came out, but better late than never I suppose. Downloaded both of these off community creator because they’re better than what I could probably drum up, but I changed the Dutchman up a bit look a bit more like his Search for SquarePants counterpart.

Been undertaking the arduous task of recreating a lot of the characters from scratch as I try to move SpongeBrawl forward into the future that is 2K25 (I was previously using WWE 2K22)! Had an itch to do this shit again, and it might play further into another project I’ve got cooking up. But for now, here’s a sample of what I’ve got so far.

my untrimmed chest

Wumbo: You. absolutely no notes

Not Gilda Radner, Buddha or the dude who had pop rocks and soda at the same time

Spongebob got uncancelled after he apologized for his past tweets

The Green Testicle One day, SpongeBob and Sandy are having a philosophical debate over whether racism is a problem that truly can be solved. Then SpongeBob remembers that they have a literal god as a friend with benefits. Sandy is all up in science’s ass, as per usual whenever the subject of Skodwarde comes up, plus she reminds him that Skodwarde is also a fucking nazi who also happens to be a squid. SpongeBob says that’s even better so that they can get a perspective from the other side of the fence! SpongeBob races over to Skodwarde’s unholy grounds, where Skodwarde is seen using his god powers to trim one of his bushes so that it looks like A bush. SpongeBob comments that it looks a lot like Patrick’s before forcefully roping Skodwarde (literally, with Sandy’s molecularly engineered atheist bullrope) into his plan to finally solve racism. Meanwhile, Patrick is seen questioning why his left nut is green. Once back at the Treedome, Sandy sees Skodwarde on her property and instantly goes to get her trusty gun. Skodwarde then threatens to summon ICE on her hairy ass. SpongeBob passes all of Sandy’s research on racism onto Skodwarde, who is surprised this air breathing bitch can even form sentences, let alone words. Skodwarde comes to the conclusion that in all his endless time in the infinite cosmos, racism has long existed alongside him so SpongeBob’s yellow ass and Sandy’s brown ass should just stop with the 2025 Superman bullshit before he summons ICE on them. Sandy hyper focuses on the words “racism has long existed alongside him” and wonders aloud what that implies. She questions him as to whether racism is just a construct or something more, something tangible, something that truly exists and lives among them. Skodwarde refuses to entertain these non-sexual fantasies anymore until Sandy twists his titties hard enough to tell the truth. Skodwarde admits that racism does exist in the form of a creature so foul, so full of hate that it can only originate from one centralized location and one centralized location only. And that disgusting creature is none other than the Alaskan! Bull! Worm! The original nostalgia master baiter is back, bitches! Everything’s cumming full circle for Sandy. Her obvious character trajection has all led up to this, another encounter with the monster that had her running away like a little bitch back in like Season 2 or whatever the fuck. Sandy, SpongeBob, Skodwarde and the Worm Returns! Sandy twists Skodwarde’s titties another 180 degrees so that he teleports them to the racist worm’s location. Sandy then grabs Skodwarde by the dick to use him as a gun, just like she did in Atlantis: The Skod Empire. Not fooled by its tongue this time, Sandy uses Skodwarde’s god powers to sever that thang, incurring the worm’s hateful rhetoric. After some nautical nonsense involving cocking Skodwarde’s cock and some genuinely cancellable offenses, Sandy finally slays her demon, thus Saving Bikini Bottom from its fatal influence. In order to test whether Sandy’s hypothesis worked, Skodwarde recites a passage from Mein Kampf and feels absolutely nothing from it! Skodwarde proceeds to burn his original copy with his pew pew eye lazors as he declares he’s not a Nazi anymore! They decide to show Skodwarde to everyone in town while wearing a yamaka before celebrating with some Kelptucky Fried Chicken in Sandy’s truck and dumping their trash all over the road. SpongeBob then forces Sandy and Skodwarde to back it up and clean up after themselves. Happy Skoddy Anniversary One day, it marked 15 years since SpongeBob and Skodwarde became neighbors, and SpongeBob wants nothing more than to find his neighbor that one perfect gift. But since Skodwarde isn’t a Nazi anymore, he can’t just rely on ordering him extra copies of Mein Kampf. Calling back to episodes such as Dying for Pie and Whale of a Blowjob simply will not be enough to commemorate such a momentous occasion. What could one possibly get for the god who has everything? SpongeBob marches over to Skodwarde’s doorstep and knocks on his door. Skodwarde is fully prepared to now summon a block of ice on him if SpongeBob doesn’t remember the last time he got so sentimental. SpongeBob just wants to thank Skodwarde for 15 of the most fucked up years he’s ever experienced, even though the last 4 are a huge blur. SpongeBob says he wouldn’t trade off that time they had together for anything. Yeah, up yours Happy Krabby Birthday, you fucking bore! SpongeBob then cements their 15 years of neighbor-hood by giving Skodwarde the Gift of Cum, because you just can’t celebrate Skodwarde any other way. Patrick butts in to inform them that he has metastatic testicular cancer after getting his green testicle checked out and, therefore, will be killed off from the show imminently. Since today marks 15 years since he became Patrick’s neighbor as well, Skodwarde uses his god powers to purge Patrick of his cancer and to inform everyone on instagram that Patrick isn’t going anywhere anytime soon so they can all shut the fuck up. Later that day, Keanu Reeves blows into Skodwarde’s humble commode to check in on him, reminding Skodwarde that this is like the fourth or fifth fucking chance he’s had to do anything of real value. Skodwarde informs Keanu that he used this latest chance to solve racism, but Reeves reveals that all they did was drive a critically endangered worm species to complete extinction in order to create the illusion that they solved racism. Skodwarde says that Alaskan Eskimo parasite had it coming for over a decade! Keanu Reeves then uses his god powers to cancel Skodwarde a fifth or sixth time.

Out of all the remaining Nicktoons shows (that I've ever actually seen at LEAST one episode of), "As Told By Ginger" has GOT to be hands down the MOST boringest (I don't CARE if 'Boringest' isn't an ACTUAL word, it SHOULD be) Nicktoons show on the face of this Earth! Macy Gray singing the theme song is okay, but for Klasky-Csupo; it's a FAR cry from their better stuff!

Premieres: Friday, May 22nd at 5:00pm ET/PT Plot: SpongeBob and Squidward search for the perfect birthday present for Mr. Krabs.

My unrealistic expectations after my last post aside, this was a pretty good Squidward crash out episode. I give it 3.9 Kelptucky Fried Chickens out of 5

here's mine

...Because my Pokemon are on my list...of the best things in life!

"Regret what I've done, Pikachu...I've failed Pokemon!"

I work this Sunday from 7 AM to 7 PM Eastern, so if we can push the start time to 7:30 PM Eastern on the 7th, I'd appreciate it. We should be good for the 14th, though!

As a long time Nintendo gamer, here are my top 10 personal favorite Mario games (excluding remakes), with 1 being the best/most fun Mario game I've ever played, while 10 is the most difficult Mario game I've ever played: Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES) Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) Super Mario Bros. Wonder (Switch) Super Mario World (Super NES) Super Mario Bros. 2 USA (NES) Super Mario Bros. (NES) Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins (Game Boy) New Super Mario Bros. (DS) Super Mario Land (Game Boy) Super Mario Bros. 2 Japan: The Lost Levels (Famicom Disk System/Super NES on Super Mario All-Stars)

I just thought of a fact to make all of y'all feel old: I've now been active on SBC for longer than I was banned. (Typing that just now made me feel like I was turning to dust)

We are sad to announce Operation Birthday Strike is a failure yet again and has cost the US 2 billion dollars

To meet squidward, I'd cancel spongebob

Jackbox is a legendary game here on SBC. So today I wanted to ask you, what's your favorite pack? There's tons of great games in all of the packs (well, not 10), so think about which has your favorites. Pack 8 is my favorite.

OHHHHHH I’M SORRY

Final?

rest in peace spongebob squarepants. killed by dman

Barnacles, I hate the pill.

I'd like to share with everyone one of my favorite pieces of golden age SpongeBob SquarePants merchandise: This dinner plate featuring SpongeBob SquarePants and Sandy Cheeks. I think that this piece of merchandise does an excellent job of showcasing the platonic bond that SpongeBob and Sandy have built up in season 1 and beyond. SpongeBob looks so adorable in that pretty Hawaiian lei and green grass hula skirt as he happily strums on his ukulele. His friend, Sandy, sits nearby, wearing her spacesuit and cowgirl hat while strumming on her accoustic guitar, as a pink jellyfish buzzes above both of them. They both have a shared interest in music. Sandy is winking at SpongeBob.

They don't make SpongeBob stuff like they used to

I modified my social media icon, now that I found a picture of "Hawaiian hula" SpongeBob SquarePants that looks less pixelated and more vibrantly-colored. This yellow sea sponge has the "aloha spirit" and is now ready to "tiptoe through the tulips!"

I'm sorry but we're going to have to amputate his Ass... oh wait, it says here we're just operating on his leg... my bad.