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...I'm sorry. Let me catch those who might be unaware up to speed. In February of this year, a message I sent in a public Sketchful.io lobby leaked onto the SpongeBob Community Discord, ending up with me being labelled as one of the worst possible things any person can be: racist. At the time I may have seen it as nothing more than a funny, inconsequntial shitpost, but being banned from Pictionary for more than a year can do some interesting things to your views on the world. I'm done living my life as a lime-loathing leper, and I've decided that with Thanksgiving being upon us, it's time for me to come clean. To everyone on SBC, I give you the truth: I do not hate green people, and I never have. Quite the opposite, actually...I love green people! To prove myself (and hopefully beat the allegations once and for all), out of my own volition I have compiled a list of some of my favorite green people in television, music, games, educational television, and everything else under the sun. I restricted myself to only including one character per media property, which resulted in some unfortunate cuts but also gave this list more variety. Alright, enough stalling! Let's look at what I consider to be the best greeners EVER!!!!!! DMAN'S top 10 green people (I love the green people.) And that's going to wrap up the list! I hope that this thread will open up everyone's eyes so I can stop being treated as a pariah within the community. If there's one thing I want SBC to take away from all of this, it's that I think green people are the best people around. I love green people, SBC! I LOVE GREEN PEOPLE!!! Now, red people on the other hand...

Episode 39: What If... SpongeBob Kept Larry the Snail? Taking place after the events of the episode “Dumped”, SpongeBob has decided to keep Larry the Snail even when Gary came back to him. Let’s see what happens. (One hour later, SpongeBob and Gary are back from the park) SpongeBob: Ah, feels so good to have you back home, Gare-bear! Gary: Meow! SpongeBob: I love you Gary! (hugs him) (Another lower pitched meow is heard as Gary meows again) SpongeBob: Huh? Gary I didn’t know you had such a pretty good vocal range! Gary: (confused) Meow? SpongeBob: You didn’t say that? Then who could it be? (Suddenly Larry the Snail appears and stands behind SpongeBob, he meows again) SpongeBob: Huh? (turns around) Larry??? What are you doing here? I thought I left you at the shelter! (nervous laugh) Larry: (meows sadly) SpongeBob: Awww, the shelter didn’t want you because you were very aggressive? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you! You must be hungry so let’s grab some food! Gary: (growls) SpongeBob: Gary, please be nice to Larry! He’s homeless and I got to help him! (walks to the kitchen to serve Larry’s food) Gary: (annoyed meow behind SpongeBob’s back) SpongeBob: I heard that. (At the kitchen, SpongeBob gives Larry a can of Snail-Po) SpongeBob: Now that you’re hungry you won’t refuse to eat this meal every snail can’t resist, right? (chuckles) Larry: (hisses and throws the bowl on SpongeBob’s face) SpongeBob: You’re still refusing to eat, huh? Let’s try something else, hmmm…I know! I can make you a Krabby Patty! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like it (makes it in 5 seconds) Here you go, bon appetit! Larry: (smells and eats the Krabby Patty) Meowww! SpongeBob: Ha, I knew you would like it! Larry: Meow meow meow meow meow meow! SpongeBob: You want more? Sure buddy I’ll make more for you! (As SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties, Larry eats all of them) SpongeBob: Whoa Larry, you sure were starving! (looks at clock) Ohh, I gotta go jellyfishing with Patrick, see you later! As soon as SpongeBob leaves, Larry meows for food again, more specifically Krabby Patties. He can’t stop thinking about them, so he looks everywhere in the pineapple. He slowly goes insane and starts throwing stuff aggressively. Gary looks at him confused and approaches him. Larry then hisses at him thinking he’s stealing his food territory. Gary feels insulted by this, so he growls at him and starts a fight. Québécois narrator: 3 hours later… Gary and Larry are still fighting and now the pineapple is a big mess. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. SpongeBob: Garyyy, Larryyyy I’m hooooome! (looks at all the mess) Huh, how did this happen? Gary and Larry: (now calm, whistling) SpongeBob: (annoyed) Gary, were you jealous of your new friend? Gary: Meow meow meow! SpongeBob: Yeah sure. Has Larry done anything wrong to y- (Larry meows loudly) whoa! (Larry runs away with an insane look on his face then brings a pencil and paper, he starts drawing something) SpongeBob: Huh? Is there something you want to tell me, Larry? Larry: (shows him the drawing) SpongeBob: Oh it’s just a Krabby Patty? Gary: Meow, meow, meow. SpongeBob: Yeah Gary it seems like he’s way too obsessed with my Krabby Patties, but I don’t think I can keep him here. You guys still don’t get along well and it’s kinda hard to take care of him when he wants Krabby Patties every 10 minutes. I do know the perfect place for him to stay, though! Québécois narrator: The next day… (At the Krusty Krab) SpongeBob: Order up! Oh Squidward, I love Mondays! It’s always a beautiful day! Squidward: (sarcastically) It is…until I see you. SpongeBob: Nyayayaya! You’re so silly! (goes back to the kitchen and takes 10 more Krabby Patties, he goes outside and gives it to Larry who now lives in a playhouse near the dumpster) Here, take this! Larry: Meow! (takes the Krabby Patties and throws them to a hole full of them inside his playhouse) SpongeBob: Now you can get your favourite food anytime you want! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! I told you not to feed stray snails our patties! If you give them for free this means I’m losing money! SpongeBob: He’s not a stray! I’m just taking care of him for a while until he finds a permanent owner, he can’t stay at my place, so I took him here. Mr. Krabs: Arr, I’ll let him stay, but I’ll cut 90% of your paycheck while he’s here! SpongeBob: No problem, Mr. K! Mr. Krabs: Now boy-o, get back to work! There’s a lot of money to catch from all these customers! SpongeBob: Yes sir! (goes back to the kitchen) Pfft, who's gonna tell him I'M the permanent owner? I'll keep you forever Larry! THE END

Members: Funniest Member: Wumbo, dman, salmon, Fred, Prez Chattiest Member: WhoBob, Prez, Zaid, jjs, sbl Spongiest Member: BobCarotte, Winter, salmon, WhoBob, Fletcher Best Gamer: jjs, Winter, Cha, Zaid, OMJ Show Stopper: sbl, Kat, Clappy, WhoBob, Aya Geekiest Band Geek: Prez, Fred, Kat, Wumbo, Clappy Most Artistic Member: Cha, Zaid, DarknessDG, Kieran, CF Creative Arts: Best Story: SBC What If’s by crew, WhoBob’s Astonishing Tales by WhoBob, Squidzilla by OMJ, CDCB's Bikini Bottom Adventures by CDCB Best Miniseries: Full SBC 2: Fuller SBC by Zaid, SpringBoob SquirePin by Jjs, SpongeBob's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe by OMJ Best Episode: What if...SBC Was a Todd in the Shadows Community? from What If's by Wumbo, What If...There Was a Third SpongeBob Forum? from What If's by Jjs, The Man Who Murdered Me from WhoBob's Astonishing Tales, Mini Short #10: Story Time from CDCB's Bikini Bottom Adventures, Dignivility from Full SBC 2: Fuller SBC Best Comedy: SpongeBob’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe by OMJ, Full SBC 2: Fuller SBC by Zaid, Patrick Tries to Vote for Obama by Wumbo, Gone: Patrick Edition by Winter, The Hunt for Puffy Fluffy by Dman Best Character: Mr. Meh (SBC What If's), Bob-E (SBC What If's), Squidzilla (Squidzilla: Football-playing King in Space of the Monsters), Mahmut (WhoBob's Astonishing Tales), Ridley Kemp (SpongeBob's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe) Best Artwork: Make Your Choice by Kieran, SpongeBob Sipping Beer on a Couch by WhoBob, Dia de los Muertos by SBManiac, Modern Marge vs. Classic Marge by Carotte, Halloween diamond art by CF Best Pictionary Drawing: Bart Gets an F by WhoBob, One Krab's Trash by DG, Plankton by Katie, MatPat by Zaid, Toy Story by Prez Hall of Fame: Honorary Creations: Total Cartoon by 4EverGreen and Mabel's Fables by JCM Honorary Staff: Kieran and terminoob Honorary Members: Dman and Carotte Honorary Skin: Gooberberry Surprise and Mystery Dungeon

Funniest Member: DMAN, Cha, Wumbo, DarknessDG, Fred Chattiest Member: JJS, Winter, Who, Bob, Sbl Spongiest Member: Bob, ThePickleMan, Winter, Who, SOF Best Gamer: Hawk, Zaid, DMAN, DG, Who Show Stopper: JJS, Kat, Who, Mythix, Clappy Geekiest Band Geek: SBManiac, Dman, Salmon, Fred, Wumbo Most Artistic Member: Cha, DarknessDG, Nuggets, Salmon, Zaid Sportiest Member: Wumbo, Clappy, Kat, JCM, Illiniguy Honorary Staff: OWN and Terminoob Honorary Members: Wumbo and DMAN

Hello my friends. Long ago, I used to be a famous movie star and community's god. I even starred in a popular story or two here. I passed the torch over 5 years ago because I needed to do soul searching. But now, I have grown tired of being a forgotten icon and want my rightful title back. @Danny DeVito, I challenge you to a god battle! Winner becomes SBC's true god and loser gets banished to the Shadow Realm forever.

I accept your challenge, you ain't taking my title. Let me show ya some of the Trashman headlock!

#12: Spirited Away [July 20, 2001 (Japan) / September 7, 2002 (North America)] Hi everyone! It’s taken me a bit, but I’m finally here to talk about the 2001 Studio Ghibli movie Spirited Away, written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki! Before we begin, I should note that there will be spoilers in these talk-abouts, though I’ll accommodate those who haven’t seen these movies as best as I can. Also, I am watching the Ghibli-approved English dub versions of these films over the subs. I have nothing against watching subbed anime and sometimes prefer it, but I do think on-screen subtitles distract from the overall visual experience of a Ghibli movie, and especially this one. In any case, let's get started! The film opens with a young girl named Chihiro who is moving with her parents to the countryside, away from the home she’s always known. Taking a detour on the way to their new home, Chihiro’s parents leave their daughter behind and track the smell of food coming from an abandoned stall in what appears to be a long-forgotten theme park. Despite Chihiro’s protests, her parents refuse to heed her warnings and pig out on the smorgasbord of delicacies they’re stuffing themselves with, soon literally turning into pigs themselves. Just from this opening sequence, one notices all the expected hallmarks from a Miyazaki/Ghibli film: a young female protagonist undergoing a break from the familiar, a gentle yet stirring score by frequent collaborator Joe Hisaishi, gorgeously-rendered backgrounds and vistas, and a sense of mystery and intrigue, where the lines between fantasy and reality become increasingly blurred. Getting back to the scene where Chihiro’s parents turn into pigs: Jesus. Fucking. Christ, did this scene fuck me up as a kid. As to why, I think it’s because Chihiro has not only been, in a sense, abandoned by her parents, but that her parents had also fallen to their vices in a sort of divine punishment since the food they’re eating is the food of the spirits that inhabit this (literal) ghost town. In other words, Chihiro’s parents have disrupted the boundary between the spirit realm and the realm of the living, or in a slightly less metaphorical sense, have disrespected either the living gods or the human dead of the Earth. To be honest, I do not know enough about Shinto folklore, which is clearly one of Miyazaki’s inspirations for the film, to describe his intent less ambiguously. However, given my religious upbringing and the fact my parents have never been the most responsible people, Chihiro’s parents turning into pigs was and still is incredibly powerful imagery. With nowhere left to run, Chihiro encounters a mysterious boy named Haku on a bridge near a floating bathhouse. Haku, who acts as a sort of guardian angel for Chihiro throughout the movie, helps her sneak into the bathhouse to work for the devious witch Yubaba until Chihiro can save her parents and find a way home. Along the way, Chihiro encounters other spirits employed and served by Yubaba like Kamaji, the chainsmoking, multi-limbed boiler man; Lin, the sassy bath maiden who Chihiro ends up working with; and the mysterious (and notorious) No-Face, a silent spirit who spits out bits of gold to charm Yubaba’s greedy staff before devouring her employees whole. In a weird way, a lot of what happens in this movie reminds me of two formative novels I read as a kid: Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Norton Juster’s The Phantom Tollbooth. The Alice comparison is the most obvious: a young girl witnesses something strange and is spirited away (“hey, that’s the name of the movie!”) to an even stranger world that runs on all sorts of surreal fantasy logic. While Haku is more compassionate, thoughtful, and deliberate with his actions than, say, Alice’s White Rabbit, he is still the first spirit Chihiro encounters in the movie before she goes down the “rabbit hole” that is Yubaba’s bathhouse. In fact, in the scene where Haku offers Chihiro something to eat after seeing her transformed parents in a pig pen, Chihiro’s gigantic tears as she eats definitely reminded me of Alice herself shrinking and growing while drinking or eating various concoctions that make her do just that. However, in Chihiro’s case, her misshapen tears come from her contemplating the hopeless situation she and her parents are trapped in, which for me at least, amplifies the emotion of the scene as well as the strangeness of the world she inhabits. In other words, while Miyazaki’s story doesn’t lose sight of its whimsical charm, there are actual lives and futures at stake in his Spirited Away. This is why I also brought up The Phantom Tollbooth; while a children’s fantasy novel like Alice, the author seemed more interested in using fantastical imagery to convey deeper messages that could still be understood by children. (Guess which book I liked more growing up?) My favorite example from the book is when the protagonist Milo encounters the Terrible Trivium, a demon from the Mountains of Ignorance who tries to distract Milo from his mission of getting back home, the demon character being a metaphor for the way we lose sight of our true wants and needs with, well, distractions that seem important at first but don’t mean much to us in the long run. In Miyazaki’s case, his film is ripe with fantastical visual metaphor: Chihiro literally signing her name away to Yubaba, forcing Chihiro and those around her to only know her as “Sen”; Chihiro’s successful efforts to bathe a sludgy “stink spirit” by removing a thorn jabbed in its side that’s revealed to be the handlebar of a discarded bicycle, with a torrent of human-produced and human-discarded garbage being expelled from the grateful river spirit in the process; and of course, No Face’s endless consumption of food, praise, and then other spirits themselves being a sharp rebuke of modern consumer culture. Even though I’ve already said so much about this film, I feel like I’m only just scratching the surface here! If I had any real critique of the movie, I’d say that in the film’s climax, how the reveal of Haku’s identity was expressed in its dialogue is the closest Spirited Away gets to being sappy. Whether it’s because of the English dub script, the English dub voice actor’s performance (wait, Haku’s voiced by Jason Marsden?!), or even just Haku’s wide-eyed smile of joy and relief in the animation, I don’t really know, but the scene almost didn’t resonate with me because of how corny it seemed. Regardless, I really enjoyed watching this movie and highly recommend that you also watch Spirited Away! SCORE: 9.5/10 - "One of the best!" As a bonus, here’s the Based God himself rapping over “One Summer’s Day”: Once again, sorry this took so long for me to post, but given how much I enjoyed Spirited Away, as well as the movie being one of the most critically acclaimed animated films of all time, I wanted to make sure this movie got its due. What Ghibli film waits for us next, O Wheel? Stay tuned for Izzy's next talk-about...

(Logo by Zaid) As 2025 nears its end, SBC closes out the year with our winter holiday celebration. From December 12th to December 30th, Snowcember Ball 2025 will spread holiday cheer across the community. The Snowball Contest will return, where each game and activity will reward you with snowballs. Whoever has the most snowballs by the end of the event will receive joyous gifts, but whoever comes in 2nd and 3rd overall will also receive prizes. Here’s a list of what activities to expect: Stop What You Are Doing - Holiday Edition: SWYAD returns for the 59th edition. Decorate your username with a holiday or cold theme. Reserve a name in this thread or via Discord if you haven't already. Whoever participates automatically gets 10 snowballs. Cards Against Humanity: Cards Against Humanity will be every Friday night during the event at 7pm EST. QueUp Parties: Play your favorite holiday songs every Friday night at 8pm EST, and earn snowballs by guessing the secret song. SpongeBob Pictionary: Two games will be a part of the event on December 13th and 20th. The first game will be about anything cold, so hope you can brace the weather! Discord Activities: Two Discord Activities will be held on December 20th and 27th. SpongeCraft Frontiers: A snow sculpture building contest will be held in SpongeCraft Frontiers on December 13th. A special holiday decoration pack will also be added. Jackbox: Jackbox Season 2 will conclude with a game of Fibbage on December 15th. Santa will know if you’re lying! SBC Christmas Trivia Contest 2025: Our yearly trivia returns again, starting December 16th at 7pm EST. Who will be the champion this year? Flash Archive Games: Flash archive games will be held on December 18th and 23rd during the event. SBC Secret Santa Program: Our yearly Secret Santa program returns, and there is a variety of gifts to give people. Discord Christmas Party: A Discord party will be held on Christmas night, where you can participate in a raffle and chat with friends. Other Activities: You’ll be hunting for cookies in this year’s scavenger hunt and replacing the story contest, will design a snowman for a snowman creator contest. Snowcember Minigames: Past Snowcember minigames will return, and there will be a brand new one known as Snow Shoveling! The default skin during the event will be "it's a Plankton Christmas", designed by sbl and acting as a holiday-ified version of Plankton 16. A magical holiday gift also awaits for you on the 25th. We hope this Snowcember Ball is a memorable and fantastical note to conclude 2025. SWYAD Reservations: Jjs --> Holiday Kuriboh Prez --> Jobe Bells SOF --> Doof Elf 4EverGreen --> Thurl Ravenscroft Zaid --> Olive Carotte --> Snowman's Nose Who --> February 33rd Maniac --> Snowball in Hell Mythix --> Rudolph the Red Nosed Sawsbuck

fuck it i'll be snowman's nose for swyad again

whatever you like it or just don't like it personally, i hate ut

“The Salacious Six” After blowing through a Morcoitilln dollars in record time, SpongeBob is forced to “return the Spongyverse to its roots”, as he calls it. Back is the shoestring budget and his friends taking on more roles in the cast. Aarfin Taylor-Johnson had a scheduling conflict with Nosferatu’s movie. The only actor who bothered reprising their role was Jared Weto after “Planktron: Kares” flopped at the box office. Not even the bartender from Suckem 3 wanted to return. He had to be replaced by the waiter who hates his life from Goofy Goobers. Following the formation of their dangerous alliance at the very end of “Morcoitus”, Dr. Michael Morcoitus and The Salvager are cold on the trail for Earth-67’s Mermaid Man. So cold, that they’re shivering. Staging various attacks and feasting on various poops across New Kelp City isn’t enough to lure the hero and his young ward out of hiding. They soon feel the need to hire Cravin the Overfishers’ services in hunting the supposed hero down. Cravin’s skills leads them to the Krusty Krab franchise located in Fort Lox, the site of a fairly recent Naggy Daddy heist orchestrated by the deplorable Kelp-Thing. The Salacious Trio takes the restaurant’s proprietor into his office and torture him for information as to the whereabouts of the heroic figure who thwarted the Kelp-Thing’s plot. Before they can ask him for the color of their underwear, Tarakhan’s overfishing forces descend upon the scene and whisks them all away in a huge net. Tarakhan takes them onto his boat, laying down the law that he’s the most evil villain in this movie now. But his assertion of dominance is challenged when the Suckem spawn from the end of “Suckem: Getting Every Last Suck In” suddenly appears from under the boat, having abandoned his previous bartender host and had latched himself onto Tarakhan’s boat hull ever since. Suckem then latches himself onto the character he deems to be the most evil, The Proprietor. With The Proprietor fully assimilated to the suckerfish hive mind that was previously established during the ending of “Suckem: Let There Be Suckage”, Suckem is able to convey his alternate universe counterpart’s memories of Mermaid Man to the rest of the team, which is quite frankly fucking useless in this universe. However, he is eventually able to contribute something useful in the form of every known Mermaid Man’s connection to one Madamazon River. Suckem offers to lead them all to her so that they can use her to get their revenge on Mermaid Man for what he’s done to alternate versions of themselves in completely separate universes. Suckem leads them all back to New Kelp City, right where The Salvager and Morcoitus started just a couple blocks away. They lay siege to Madamazon River’s apartment/lair/place thing shown at the end of her movie, where she and the three future Mermaid Women are struggling to make rent. Speaking of which, The Land Lord makes his presence felt by once again asking the ladies where his rent is. With the three future Mermaid Women still not yet becoming the Mermaid Women they’re eventually meant to be, Madamazon River forms an uneasy alliance with the five evil villains to defeat The Land Lord once and for all, which they manage to accomplish thanks to duty-free stock footage of real life crabs fighting. With The Land Lord defeated, the newly formed Salacious Six can now focus their combined efforts on this universe’s Mermaid Man, who Madamazon River has also grown to hate due to him ghosting her clairvoyant calls to him and thus actively keeping the three future Mermaid Women from fulfilling their destinies of becoming Mermaid Women. She reveals that the last time she tried making contact with him, his location was pinged as being in a cave in Fort Lox. The Salacious Six proceed to carpool their way back to Fort Lox. On the ride over, the members of the slapdashed team have their obligatory in-fighting over who will be their leader, which The Salvager wins by virtue of coming from a better movie than all of theirs combined. They soon arrive at Mermaid Man’s last known location, a sort of lair of some sort built into some random cave. They scavenge the place for the object of their disdain, or at least something relevant to him. Cravin unearths Mermaid Man’s own Mermaid Credit Card, which they then use to run up his credit in order to lure him to them. The owner of the credit card is able to track them through their exorbitant purchases, but it’s not quite the owner they were counting on. In yet another instance of Drippy Brother meddling/post-production washing out of Mermaid Man from the franchise, a CGI Barnacle Bill superimposed over Mermaid Man confronts The Salacious Six and beats their collective asses around for ruining his credit. Speaking of Drippy Brother meddling, The Salvager is transported back to his original universe mid-fight because Kevin Feige the Sea Cucumber said so. Now at a major disadvantage, The Salacious Six get their butts kicked twice as hard. Suckem leaves The Proprietor for dead as he opportunistically tries latching onto Barnacle Bill instead, which he does successfully. With Suckem assimilating Barnacle Bill to their side, the dark side, The Salacious Six achieve their goal of truly making this universe free of a Mermaid Man-like figure. However, they’re still one member short of a full Salacious Six following Salvager’s untimely departure. The movie ends with them plotting to break Kelp-Thing out of Fort Lox Prison in order to recruit him for their “Salacious Initiative”. In a post-credits scene, Madamazon River reminds the others (Kelp-Thing now included) that there’s still the matter of the baby Mermaid Man that was born in her movie. The Salacious Six unite to kill a toddler, I guess. FIN

Last time on this thread, I talked about yet another Nicktoon from the first dynasty of Nicktoons. Today, we’ll be headed to the very end of that decade and talk about one of the big three Nicktoons I remember watching a lot as a kid! And it’s arguably the biggest one of them all…. #12. “Help Wanted” – SpongeBob SquarePants [May 1, 1999] You know, I like to exaggerate around here about how much I really hate SpongeBob. But if I’m to be real here, this Nicktoon was practically my life as a kid. Where to begin? One of my first Halloween costumes was SpongeBob, I collected almost every DVD that came out, played both Creature from the Krusty Krab and the movie game, and practically every new episode that aired felt like a big event to me. Hell, if I actually hated it, I wouldn’t have found my way onto both this site and SpongeBuddy Mania. So yeah, for better and worse, SpongeBob SquarePants shaped my life and even though I grew out of watching it on a daily basis somewhere in the mid-2010s, I cannot deny the impact it’s had on my life over the years. There, now that I have my personal history out of the way, let’s talk about the first episode! All of you guys know the basis of the show anyways and considering this is the shortest episode I’ve covered so far, this write-up will be a breeze! Our episode starts off with our titular sponge getting ready for today, as it’s the day SpongeBob decides to apply for a job at the Krusty Krab! Only problem is SpongeBob doesn’t feel like he’s gonna get the job. One of his neighbors and best friend Patrick Star comes in and slaps some sense into him. Filled with confidence, SpongeBob marches into the Krusty Krab and applies for the job, much to his other neighbor Squidward’s chagrin. His first impression to him and Mr. Krabs fails as he starts flopping out of nervousness. They decide to trick SpongeBob into doing the impossible task of finding a hydro-dynamic spatula so he’s too distracted to come back to the Krusty Krab. The conflict of our story sets in when buses full of anchovies arrive. They start acting unruly towards Krabs and Squidward as SpongeBob’s too busy shopping for a spatula. As they start fearing for their lives, SpongeBob comes back with an actual hydro-dynamic spatula (with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive too!) and serves all the anchovies Krabby Patties in under a minute to Tiny Tim music. And finally, Mr. Krabs hires SpongeBob as his fry cook. So there you have my regurgitation of an episode you’ve watched 100 times by now and yeah, no surprise, it still ages well! There are other episodes of this show that are much funnier and better but that’s not to say this one didn’t have any highlights either. From Patrick’s motivational speech to Squidward “vouching” for SpongeBob to the very end with SpongeBob serving Patrick a bunch of Krabby Patties, this episode is really packed with memorable moments even with its limited run-time. Calling it the best Nicktoon would be too bit of an exaggeration and also obvious but for the absolute impact this show had on my life, I’d be crazy not to put it somewhere in my Top 10. VERDICT: 9/10 (A timeless classic, what can I say? Also, please let this show die, Nick.) RANKINGS: Well, we're officially 15 shows down! Time to see which Nicktoon the wheel gives me next!

it only comes like once a year at best here, so yeah i love ts

“Cravin the Overfisher” Following the death of his mother, Ilya Pissinoff (played by Aarfin Taylor-Johnson, who was specifically sought after for the role after SpongeBob saw him as Tangerine Storm in Bullet Boat) and his half-brother Alexei are taken by their father Vladimir Pissinoff to prepare to take over his commercial fishing operations. During a fishing trip in Gansabaai, South Africa, Ilya is injured protecting his brother from a rare leopard seal. The leopard seal then brings him to a girl named Naunet, who heals him with mysterious power of godly origin and calls for rescue, leaving a Mermaid credit card behind. Ilya discovers his physical attributes have become animalistic. When Vladimir reveals he killed the sea leopard to teach his sons a lesson, a disgusted Ilya flees to a fish sanctuary owned by his mother in Russia. Sixteen years later, Ilya, now going by Cravin (after his voracious leopard seal-esque appetite), is a vigilante who hunts fishermen who dare overfish in or around sanctuary waters. After killing a seal fur harvester on Tyuleniy Island, Cravin travels to London for Alexei’s birthday. Their reunion is short-lived when sea bear mercenaries abduct Alexei. When Vladimir refuses to pay the ransom, Cravin tracks down Naunet, now working as a paralegal for her boss, the Egyptian god of the primordial watery abyss, Nun, and threatens to run up her mermaid credit to get her to help. Meanwhile, Alexei meets the man behind his kidnapping, Ivan Jerkov, who took part in an experiment granting him the strength and visage of a sea rhinoceros. Ivan proposes an alliance to overthrow Vladimir’s hold on the fish market. Discovering Cravin’s connection to Alexei, Ivan lures him to a monastery in the Sea of Marmara, but Cravin survives the ambush encircling the entire monastery in a large, perfect anti-sea bear circle. Ivan hires the Flamboyant Cuttlefish, an assassin who uses ocular hypnosis to disorient his targets, to kill Cravin. Tracking Cravin and Naunet to his sanctuary, Ivan and the Flamboyant Cuttlefish ambush Cravin. Drugging him with tetrodotoxin, the Flamboyant Cuttlefish attacks Cravin but Naunet kills him with a harpoon and uses her godly sea powers to revive Cravin. Ivan later mourns the loss by making the weirdest fucking vocal noise put to film. Look it up. Cravin then uses a sea bear stampede to lure and trap Ivan, who, despite turning into the Sea Rhino and briefly overpowering Cravin, is killed when Cravin reveals he is wearing his patented anti-sea rhinoceros undergarments. Coming to the conclusion that Valdimir was the one who revealed his existence to Ivan, Cravin tracks his father for answers. Vladimir reveals that he knew Ivan was targeting him and manipulated his sons to take him off the board. Cravin steals Vladimir’s spears and harpoons so that his father will be killed by a sea bear that he unleashes into his office One year later, Cravin hears Alexei’s voice in his head and is shocked that he has willingly inherited their father's fishing empire. Having gained cockroach powers from the doctor who experimented on Ivan (having chosen this power set specifically due to being called a “roach” all his life), Alexei reveals this to Cravin and states that despite his claims of being morally superior, he and Vladimir were the same: overfishers craving for more in the next great fishing spot. Alexei then gives Cravin the slip by escaping his ear and flying off to the peace, freedom, justice and security of his new empire. That we’ll never ever see or experience for ourselves. At home, Cravin discovers a note from Vladimir along with a vest made from the fur of the leopard seal Vladimir killed long ago, which he puts on, fully cementing himself as a totalhypocrite just like the rest of his deadbeat ass family, and therefore a villain from here on out. In a post-credits scene, Alexei, now going by the moniker “Tarakhan”, is seen at the Krusty Krab, appearing much more roach-like than ever before. He hammers out a deal with the proprietor to use the restaurant’s property as his latest fishing spot. They seal the deal with a delicious Krabby Patty. The movie ends with the roach enjoying said patty. This was an Aquaman 2 reference. Tarakhan’s new empire will, in fact, return…

“Suckem: Getting Every Last Suck In” After being transported to Earth-69 by Professor Peculiar’s spell in “Mermaid Man: No Way Retirement Home”, Ridley Kemp and the Suckem parasite are drunk in a bar in the Gulf of Mexico. As the bartender fills them in about the Mermaid Cinematic Universe’s Hermanos and the Limitless Boulders, they are forced back to their home universe on Earth-67, to the same bar in their universe’s Gulf of America. Still on the run after their recent battle with Suckage, the apparent murder of detective Patrick Morray makes international headlines which prompts Ridley, who has been deemed the prime suspect, to set out to New Kelp City in an attempt to clear his name. But not before unwittingly leaving a bit of Suckem at the bar. A retcon SpongeBob was forced to make from the No Way Retirement Home ending because Kevin Feige the Sea Cucumber saw that shit stinking up his movie and was like, “who the fuck is this?!” A creature known as a Grouper Trooper has begun secretly tracking Ridley and Suckem. The recent events catch the attention of Rex Hardass, a soldier who oversees SHIELD- I mean, GUN- I mean, BLUNT OBJECT, a government operation at the site of the soon-to-be-decommissioned Treedome 51 for the capture and study of other extraterrestrial parasites that have fallen to Earth. Patrick Morray, revealed to have survived his encounter with Suckage, is captured after being left for dead by the space sucker, no, the ONE SINGULAR THING this sequel had going into it, Suckin, who eluded Hardass’ soldiers entirely offscreen because it knew better than to have its big coming out party be in the Spongyverse. Morray is bonded with one of many contained, and most importantly, unnamed space suckerfish and is questioned by BLUNT OBJECT researchers Dr. Whozit and Sadie Whatzit to learn about the parasites’ purpose on Earth before Hardass is ordered to bring Suckem down. While attaching themselves to the side of a boat bound for New Kelp City, Ridley and Suckem are attacked by the Grouper Troopers tracking them and are forced to drop into the Nevada Gulch. Suckem explains to Ridley that Grouper Troopers were unleashed into the universe by the space suckerfishes’ creator Null to retrieve a Phallix, forged when a space suckerfish revives its host, which Null hopes can free him from the prison the space suckerfish race trapped him in long ago. Having previously reviving Ridley in the first movie (which I hope you remember because I sure fucking don’t), Suckem and Ridley are now carrying a Phallix in them, which the Grouper Troopers have tracked to Earth. After being ambushed by Hardass and his team of hardasses, Ridley barely escapes from them and the Grouper Troopers. Ridley meets High Tide (played by the same actor who portrayed The Amphibian in 2012’s “Confounding Mermaid Man” for reasons I refuse to decipher at this point) and his family of traveling hippies who offer Ridley a free ride to Bass Vegas on their way to see Treedome 51 before its inevitable closure. Meanwhile, Patrick Morray’s new space suckerfish whose name didn’t fit in the budget informs Hardass of Null’s intentions for the Phallix, which can only be destroyed if either Ridley or Suckem dies. Arriving in Bass Vegas, Ridley and Suckem run into Mrs. Swai at a hot air balloon/casino. Suckem sucks every last ounce of life left in her character, which wasn’t even that much, before being ambushed by the Grouper Troopers again. Haddass’ crack team of hardasses arrive, separates Suckem from Ridley (ouch) and takes them to Treedome 51 where Ridley shares the least touching reunion with Patrick Morray, who is practically an entirely different character at this point. Sadie Whatzit frees Suckem, who re-bonds with Ridley after Hardass decides to be a hardass about things and shoots him. This ever so slightly more touching reunion attracts the Grouper Troopers to the base, which causes Patrick Morray to fuck right off out of the movie. Suckem has the other confined space suckerfish released, which bonds with Sadie and other faceless mooks in the vicinity in order to act as more sacrificial lambs to the Grouper Troopers, who have signaled to Null that the Phallix has been found. Null sends more Troopers through portals to Earth like a fucking Power Rangers villain, overwhelming the space suckerfish. Realizing he must sacrifice himself to destroy the Phallix and save the universe, Suckem attaches himself to all the Grouper Troupers at once, leads them into tartar sauce tanks, and bids Ridley farewell before ejecting him as a mortally wounded Hardass sacrifices himself to summon Hans to have him eat Suckem and the Groupers. Dr. Whozit bonds with a space suckerfish to save Sadie, who’s married to a fucking doodle now. I don’t know anymore. I don’t care. A doodle got married before I did. It’s over, mang, it’s over. Ridley later wakes up in a hospital, where a military official informs him that his actions with Suckem at Treedome 51 have earned him nothing, No MCU money and bitches. Ridley loses, good day sir. He is then taken to the same prison The Salvager fucked off to at the end of Morcoitus. In a mid-credits, Null declares that the universe is no longer safe from him now that Suckem has sucked his last suck, but he is immediately rendered null and void (see what I did there with his name?) because ain’t no way his shit is being brought back up again. I’ll die before his shit is ever followed up on. I’ll make sure of it. In a post credits scene, the bartender from “Mermaid Man: No Way Retirement Home” - who was taken into custody by Hardass shortly after Ridley left for New Kelp - escapes the burned remains of Treedome 51. He crawls out of the rubble next to a broken vial that previously contained a sample of the Suckem space parasite. Cue the new Eminem joint. The “No Way Retirement Home” Bartender will return…yes, this is the real Suckem origin story

Ahh the apocalypse. That thing that gets brought up every now and then and somehow no one got the correct date on when the world will end? Yeah, there are a lot. Most recently, someone predicted the world will end on September 23, 2025 and some TikTok freaks bought it and spread it everywhere but surprise, there is no “the end of the world”. But something is ending and that’s WhoBob time on this lit. Maybe he’ll come back to do guest episodes if he comes up with something? Time will tell but for now, enjoy the season finale, it’s about to end with a bang… Episode 40: What If… SBC Faced The Rapture? The Universe is Earth-▯ and it’s September 23, 2025. It was just a regular day on SBC when Clappy mentioned today was The Rapture Day and wanted SBC to celebrate. WhoBob was confused by what he meant. Kat told him that some TikTokers made the whole thing up, so he joked “we are finally being ascended!” After some shitposting shenanigans as usual from the server, what they didn’t know is that it was actually true. The Rapture has begun. Hawk: Uhhhhhhhhhhh, you guys need to check your windows. And the first thing they see is people floating up to the sky. And every SBCer active right now has become online to talk about it and what clicked was that they were left behind. All except… 4EverGreen: “Hello everyone!!! As you can see I’m floating up to heaven. I knew hating Teen Titans Go, Justin Bieber and Kooky Cooks would pay off. Maybe you all needed to hate them to ascend to heaven, piece of advice from me. Enough said, true believers!” Prez: “Well, I didn’t expect that. Does that mean we are all sinners? Maybe I shouldn’t have made #Cursed-Furry-Room to begin with.” WhoBob: “You guys turn on the news, it’s broadcasting all over the world.” And they all turned on their TV to pick any channel except Fox News obviously. And there is Danny Devito talking about what’s happening. Danny Devito: “Hello guys. You have known me as Frank Reynolds from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and some freaks know me as The Penguin from Tim Burton’s Batman movies. Just don’t mention my role as The Lorax or some certain YouTuber critic will go apeshit and I don’t want that attention. I have a confession to make, I am THE GOD.” Wumbo: “I TOLD YOU ALL, HE IS THE TRUE LORD!!!” Danny Devito: “Y’all may wanna know why you are left behind. Well that’s easy, that’s because you all either sinned or spent too much time talking about a yellow kitchen sponge. One person who is a fan of that at least made sure he hated the right episode to enter Heaven, no backsies. I will say that I made no discrimination between anyone’s religion or beliefs. Don’t believe in those Evangelical Christian dumbasses, they were also left behind! If you did good deeds or didn’t watch that show, you can enter Heaven. So anyways, I started blasting people to heaven and you guys have no idea what’s about to happen. Jesus is coming back for real this time, although some of you may know him as someone else. When he discovers his true self, he’ll battle the son of Satan known as the Anti-Christ for 7 years. Anyone who can make it out alive, good luck!!! I’ll keep acting in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, now broadcasting Wednesdays on Heaven and on FXX, next day on Hulu.” jjs: “So we have no choice but to regroup to find Jesus, so he can rapture us to Heaven. Who’s with me?!” Everyone on SBC agreed and they decided to regroup in Wyoming, the place that doesn’t exist. Some members paid handsomely to smuggle WhoBob from Turkey and Kieran and Patty from the UK whereas Canadian members travelled to the USA easily because Donald Trump and his goonies alongside Democrats escaped to their bunkers to avoid the war, such pussies. As they all came together in the place that doesn’t exist, jjs had a confession to make. jjs: “I actually know who Jesus Christ is in disguise.” Kat: “Spill.” jjs: “It’s…Keanu Reeves, I found him through our mutual friend Tommy Wiseau.” Cha: “What are we waiting for? Let’s find him!” They found Keanu Reeves as he lives in his Reddit Gold tower. Somehow no one noticed it but it’s on them. SBCers made an appointment and they were called to the top floor where they’d eventually meet Keanu “Christ” Reeves. Keanu Reeves: “Hello my children! People keep asking if Jesus is back. And I haven’t had an answer but now yeah, I’m thinking I’m back!!!” Clappy: “Hello son of Danny Devito, we wanted to tell you that there has been a mistake and we wanted to know if you could rapture us.” Keanu Reeves: “I can send you up to Heaven if you do one job for me.” WhoBob: “Please Hz. İsa, we can do anything!” Keanu Reeves: “Find the Anti-Christ for me, then kill him. Then I’ll give you your ascension." Fred: “But I thought you’d battle Anti-Christ in the war.” Keanu Reeves: “Don’t make me laugh, Anti-Christ is too much of a coward to show up to his own war. I’ll be battling his demon army but until then, find him and bring me his head.” Kylie: “Who is it then?” Keanu Reeves: “Someone you’ll recognize immediately. He’s another actor with long hair like me except he is corrupt and maybe a musician in a band. Be careful. I’ll send you down, so don’t freak out. Teleportation is easier than traveling in subways. Goodbye!” So now all SBCers are in front of the building, unaware of where their journey will take them but they know they’ll stick together no matter what. 7 YEARS LATER... The war has consumed everything. Many people are dead from the epic battle between Heaven and Hell. WhoBob was the first to fall because he was busy writing comic books for Marvel and Anti-Christ’s army blew the building to the ground. No one will know If he finished his Spider-Man And Human Torch homoerotic miniseries. SBCers are scattered into two groups throughout the wasteland that is the USA. Carottecord members and SBCcord members. Carottecord members are now bounty hunters making a quick buck, so they can get as much money as they can find to pay the guy who knows about Anti-Christ’s whereabouts. Winter: “Who would have thought the world ended but capitalism remained intact? This must be a truly evil world.” Klu: “I don’t know about you but I could use some food since we are running out.” Rick: “We have to do this one last job, so we can get the information and then we can eat. Pray to Old Man Patrick as he is our actual God in the night, and Danny Devito is ours in the day.” Honest Slug: “That is confusing but I suppose God has many shapes and forms.” They went to a bar called Hornytown, so they can find their bounty there. BOB-E: “AAAAAAAAAA BOUNTY HUNTERS. DON’T LOOK TOO DEEPLY ON WHAT WE SERVE. I DEFINITELY DO NOT SERVE MILK HERE. OMNI KNOWS IT.” Omni: “compels BOB-E to confirm” BOB-E: “YESSSS, NO EYEYING.” Ray: “:Bob:” (Writer’s note: It’s an emoji that looks like a Nokia) BOB-E: “CRASH STOP” CakeCup: “We are here to collect the bounty, spare us your horny thoughts, phone.” BOB-E: “I SWEAR IT’S NOT ME WHO YOU LOOK FOR…” Carotte: “Actually it is. We are taking you to Horny Jail. Good thing you didn’t kill anyone.” BOB-E: “OMNI WILL PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.” Omni: “I’ll give you for free.” BOB-E: “REALLY?” Omni then gives a thumbs up and Bob’s pants explode and after his post nut clarity, they take him to Horny Jail and get rewarded for it. BOB-E: “I CAN’T BELIEVE OMNI WOULD DO ME LIKE THIS.” As a twist, women of Hornytown, including Omni, runs Horrny Jail. BOB-E: “OMNI-E. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D DOUBLE CROSS ME LIKE THAT. LADIES, YOU SAW NOTHING.” Taedia: “We see all.” BOB-E: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” Then Allista paid Carottecord members their reward and they got all the money to pay the informer. And as a twist, the informer turns out to be none other than… JACKIE CHAN, FORMER GOD OF SBC. Jackie Chan: “Hello you guys. As you can see I’m not an actual God, I was pretending for a while for the joy of it but now it’s not funny anymore.” Jaic: “We can tell, here’s your money. Tell us who is the Anti-Christ.” Jackie Chan: “Well, you see the Anti-Christ is… OH SHIT LOOK OUT, IT’S THIRTY SECONDS OF MARS!!!” Then all of a sudden, the crew members of Thirty Seconds to Mars have arrived to execute Jackie Chan, although they had different outfits to make them unnoticeable. Carottecord battled them hard but it was too late as they struck Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan: “Man, I hope they stream Jackie Chan Adventures in Hell. I actually have no clue who has the streaming rights.” As Thirty Seconds to Mars attacked Carottecord to get rid of the evidence, they had a revelation. They were actually Horsemen of the Apocalypse. All but one who is actually the key to their answer. ANTI-CHRIST WAS NONE OTHER THAN JARED LETO HIMSELF!!! So they managed to battle them to the end (it lasted 11 minutes…), leaving them dead on the floor but it was too late for Carottecord members, they were all covered in their blood, all but OBAB. OBAB: “Oh god, you guys are bleeding. I’ll help you guys whatever way I can!” Appy: “It’s too late, you have to send this information to the rest of SBC so they can finish off Jared Leto.” Mandy: “Go now, OBAB. You are our only hope." OBAB: “I love you guys.” As OBAB departed, the rest of Carottecord questioned what’s next. Salmon: “What’s gonna happen to us now?” Fletcher: “I don’t know but we have to pray this will go in our way. It’s night, PRAY TO OLD MAN PATRICK”. Dman: “Amen to that!” Mythix: “I’m glad I’m doing my last breath with my friends, it’s been an honor.” As they prayed to Old Man Patrick, they didn’t realize that they were raptured and they were sent to Heaven, living the eternity in their own Heaven group. They would talk about SpongeChovy, calm and relaxed season 8 of SpongeBob, cartoons and much much more. OBAB sends this information to the remaining SBCers on Petoria and when you see their face, you can tell they are not so shocked. And they knew where Jared Leto would be, his private island. As 7 years go by, Hawk became the top pilot in the world, secretly carrying SBC members to the private island. Hawk: “Alright, you guys. This is where I drop you all off. I hope you can kick that nasty freak’s ass good.” Zaid: “You can count on us, Hawk! And I just gotta say, thanks for all our adventures in SpongeCraft. Hawk: “I had a blast, I hope when this is over, we can all go to Heaven and build our own SpongeCraft.” sbl: “Spoken like a true hawk.” Hawk drops them off as they are falling into their final quest to end Jared Leto. As they all were about to open their parachutes, CDCB was unable to open. CDCB: “OH GOD, OH GOD I’M GONNA DIE, I AM GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!” And then Trophy opened CDCB’s parachute, saving him from dying. Trophy: “Don’t go cold on us, man. We have a job to do so we can collect our award.” They landed safely on the island without anyone noticing. Kevin: “Alright hoes, time to kill that bitch.” They secretly looked around the island to find Jared Leto. SBCers all had spy training courtesy of Kieran and Patty and their “The Ariel and Amy School of Spies." BenPaz: “You guys, I found where Jared Leto is now. He is singing songs with these robot women inside this hotel, this is so freaky.” Izzy: “Alright, I’m gonna create a distraction, so you guys can deal with the robots.” Izzy then threw a bunch of rocks at the windows of other hotel rooms. As a result, Jared Leto heard the noises and started investigating. TJ: “The coast is clear.” Ex in command: “You know what to do. Your usual trick, OWM.” OWM jumped through the open window and started yelling.” OWM: “I AM THE OPEN WINDOW MANIAC and you are watching Disney Channel.” All the robot women screamed and escaped the building. Nugs: “Huh, I expected them to fight us but I’ll take this instead.” Rest of SBCers entered the room and find places to hide, so they can kill Jared Leto unguarded but what they didn’t anticipate was that Jared Leto put a booby trap. This opened a trap door that led to their downfall. Before they fell into the huge spikes, Meep used her magnets to toss SBCers into the walls. Meep: “There you go, that should stop us from falling.” Dark: “CLIMB UP NOW!” They all managed to climb but unfortunately Jared Leto found them. Jared Leto: “HAHAHAHAHA, I FOUND YOU ALL GOOD. AND THE PERSON WHO BROKE ALL MY WINDOWS. You will pay for those eventually.” Crush: “Sorry but we ran out of money, maybe we’ll give you an I.O.U.” Jared Leto: “Okay smart guy, you are the one to fall first. In fact you all will fall unless you beat me with this game.” Fa: “What kinda game?” Jared Leto: “A game called… THE WHEEL OF ENORMOUS PROPORTIONS!!!” Sophlez: “wat” And then a real life Wheel of Enormous Proportions emerged, making the remaining SBCers to join. Prez: “WOOHOO, I mean we’ll beat your ass.” jjs: “Perhaps Dman was spared from all this.” Jared Leto: “LET THE GAME BEGIN!!!” They started playing it with the wheel asking a bunch of trivia questions. They all did a good job, but so did Jared Leto, though that’s because he has a telepathic device on his head that allows him to cheat by looking into the wheel’s mind. They kept spinning the wheel and playing trivia over and over but Jared Leto had the highest score, so it was time for him to spin the last wheel. jjs: “We are so fucked if he wins.” Before Jared Leto started spinning the last wheel, Katie decided to kick Jared Leto and caused him to fall. Katie: “TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER!”. Out of sudden, JCM emerged out of nowhere for his last cameo, stole Jared Leto’s place and spun the wheel and won the game. JCM: “What the fuck, why am I in this post-apocalyptic What If episode?” Wheel thanked them for playing the game and Jared Leto’s question was answered. Jared Leto’s question was: “Is it Morbin’ time?” Wheel: “It is morbin’ time, morbin’ you to DIE!” Wheel electrocuted Jared Leto to death. Steel: “I honestly didn’t expect it’d go down like this but then again, what can you do, if at all?” jjs called Keanu Reeves through the camera. Keanu Reeves: “Is the job done?” jjs showed him the corpse of Jared Leto and said: “It’s over, we won.” Jared Leto was sent to Hell for eternity. And for the final twist, he was sent to a special hell with his dad, the real Satan, DOUG FORD. Doug Ford: “I’m done with you yahoo.” Jared Leto: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” Jared Leto spent the rest of his eternity, eating Doug Ford’s delicious Cherry Cheese Cakes but unlike Homer’s donut hell, Jared Leto did not enjoy one bit. We cut back to Earth and Keanu Reeves congratulated them for their job, so he raptured them to Heaven. OMJ: “Thanks for the ascension, kind stranger.” And we finally see all of SBCers (as well as all non-SBC Carottecord and Hornytown residents, yes even BOB-E) in Heaven, reunited once more as they celebrate their reward and their reward is being a family forever. WhoBob: “I’m so glad you guys made it, too bad my Marvel job went nowhere but we can all be here together from now on. SBC, Carottecord, Hornytown. The Clarinet Trio, all in harmony. In fact, I have a special surprise for you guys.” Then for the final revelation, WhaleBlubber showed his face. WhaleBlubber: “YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET RID OF ME THIS EASILY? NAH, WE ARE DEAD.” SBC all together: “That’s right!” For their first time in Heaven, SBC, Carottecord, Hornytown and WhaleBlubber attend Maroon 5’s concert with Leedles as the lead singer. They all partied hard and lived happily ever after. The End

The show that STARTED it all for Nickelodeon! Too bad it turned out to be the PEAK for it's TECHNICAL creator...who turned out to be a TOTAL creep! (And I refuse to mention him by name out of respect for all the women that he hurt over the years!)

*tries to do some punches, but is too exhausted to continue and collapses* Well, I concede defeat. You put up a worthy fight, Mr. DeVito and are the true god. Into exile in the Shadow Realm, I must go. Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy!

With the nominating process done, it's time for the part we've all been waiting for: Voting! Who will bring home the gold this year? Let us know by submitting your ballots! THE RULES: Per the new status quo, we'll be using a ballot form. A link to the ballot can be found here. Please do not directly send me your list of votes, and especially do not post them here. You cannot vote for yourself. If you do, you have to wear the Stinky Boot. (This also applies to anything you've made that was nominated in the Creative Arts categories.) You must vote for at least one section. You are welcome to skip a section if you’re not comfortable voting in that field, but it would be nice if votes could be given in all categories. You may use write-in votes for the first time ever, but please use it wisely. They must be legitimate entries, not jokes. PRIZES: Now, what do you get if you happen to win an award? 1,000 doubloons 200 experience points GCA Winner badge (if not already obtained from previous years) A trophy with your name and the corresponding category With these things in hand, you're free to place them in your profile or somewhere else special. Now, with all of that said... GOLDEN COMMUNITY AWARDS XIX - NOMINEES MEMBERS Funniest Member Candidates -- dman, Wumbo, OWM, Slug, Cha, Prez Chattiest Member Candidates -- Prez, Zaid, WhoBob, Sbl, Jjs, Winter Spongiest Member Candidates -- Carotte, Winter, Mythix, Salmon, WhoBob, Fletcher Best Gamer Candidates -- DarknessDG, Prez, dman, Winter, Zaid, Jjs Show Stopper Candidates -- Katniss, Clappy, WhoBob, Jjs, Sbl, Aya Geekiest Band Geek Candidates -- SBManiac, Prez, Fred, Steel, dman, Katniss Most Artistic Member Candidates -- Zaid, Cha, Steel, Salmon, DarknessDG, Nuggets Sportiest Member Candidates -- illiniguy, JCM, Carotte, Trophy, Katniss, Sbl CREATIVE ARTS Best Story Candidates – SBC What If’s (Clappy) Squidzilla (OMJ) WhoBob’s Astonishing Tales (WhoBob) Power Rangers: Multiverse Force (4EverGreen) Oh Yeah! Collections (Steel) Best Miniseries Candidates -- SpongeBob’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe (OMJ) The Hunt for Puffy Fluffy (Dman) Fuller SBC (Zaid) Gone: Patrick Edition by Winter (Jjs) Starting Over (Steel) Best Episode Candidates – What If… The fake Wikipedia SpongeBob episodes actually existed? (SBC What If’s - Steel) What If… Prez Was a Jackbox Host? (SBC What If’s - Winter) Morcoitus (SpongeBob’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe - OMJ) The Man Who Murdered Me (WhoBob’s Astonishing Tales - WhoBob) Dignivility (Fuller SBC - Zaid) Part IV (The Hunt for Puffy Fluffy - Dman) Best Comedy Candidates -- SpongeBob’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe (OMJ) Fuller SBC (Zaid) The Hunt for Puffy Fluffy (Dman) Gone: Patrick Edition (Winter) Patrick Tries to Vote for Obama (Wumbo) Best Character Candidates -- Dr. Michael Morcoitus (SpongeBob’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Universe - OMJ) Squidasaurus Rex (Squidzilla - OMJ) Puffy Fluffy (The Hunt for Puffy Fluffy - Dman) BOB-E (SBC What If’s - WhoBob) Dylan (Starting Over - Steel) Zaid (Fuller SBC - Zad) Best SpongeCraft Build Candidates – Giraffe Statue (Zaid) Cup of Dirt (Dman) Watto Shrine (OWM) SpongeBob Statue (DarknessDG) The Trashman (Hawk) Best Artwork Candidates – Make Your Choice (Aquatic Konquest) Beer and TV (WhoBob) Salmon Suit (Steel) Feliz Dia de Los Muertos (SBManiac) Luigi Shave (Nuggets) Hot Cocoa (Fletcher) Best Pictionary Drawing Candidates – Plankton Stinkeye (Katie) Sandy Look Out (DarknessDG) Breakfast (Steel) Test Monkey (Appy) I Got Dead Again (Carotte) Slippin’ Jimmy (Zaid) HALL OF FAME Honorary Story Candidates -- MegaloMania (OMJ), The Hunt for Puffy Fluffy (Dman), Mabel’s Fables (JCM), Total Cartoon (4EverGreen) Honorary Staff Member Candidates -- OWM, terminoob, Kieran and Zaid Honorary Member Candidates -- dman, Carotte, Slug and Wumbo Honorary Skin Candidates -- Gooberberry Surprise (Kieran), Steppin’ on the Beach (Cha) and Mystery Dungeon (Patty) The deadline to send in your ballots is Thursday, December 11. After that, this entire shindig will conclude with the GCAs XIX awards ceremony on Sunday, December 28. Happy voting.

This is the real Karate Kid Legends

I feel like I have to say this: MOST OVER-HATED Nickelodeon show EVER!!!! Were ALL of the episodes good? Of course not! Are there several cartoon shows WORSE than "Breadwinners"? Yes, there are! I just like the episodes that ARE good, and I discount the ones that aren't; instead of blanket-hating the entire series like far too many people do!

Funniest Member: prez, dman, steel, wumbo, slug Chattiest Member: sof, prez, whobob, jjs, zaid Spongiest Member: winter, jaic, 4evergreen, mythix, fletcher Best Gamer: dman, zaid, prez, fred, winter Show Stopper: clappy, whobob, jjs, katniss, sbl Geekiest Band Geek: prez, hawk, dman, salmon, fred Most Artistic Member: cha, zaid, steel, patty, fletcher Sportiest Member: katniss, trophy, illiniguy, sbl, jcm Best Artwork: beer and tv by whobob, salmon suit by steel, make your choice by kieran, baseball by salmon, glep by katie Best Pictionary Drawing: karen's mom by appy, eat at the krusty krab by dman, join us by dg, plankton by katie, BREEEAKFAAASSSTT by steel Honorary Staff: owm and kieran Honorary Members: dman and fa

Episode 38: What If… Lisa Simpson knew what you can do? Hello, SBCers, this is Lisa Simpson. You’re all wondering why some fictional character with no connections to a SpongeBob fansite should have any business being here, but it has occurred to me just how infamous I am for being a Soapbox Sadie type of character – and it’s gotten to the point that some smartass named Steel Sponge thought it would be really funny to make a meme based on my unsubtle and vague response regarding Apu – a meme that has since evolved into multiple other memes about us. Well, I’ve had enough. You’ve all had your fun. As for Steel Sponge, I can only hope he will come out of this ghostwritten episode of “What If’s…” feeling trolled, memed, GIF’d, and dare I say pwned. As you all know, the “What can you do?” meme came about when my mom and I condescendingly addressed the audience with “the stare” for bringing into light that Apu’s character was culturally insensitive, and such a serious issue like that couldn’t be addressed then...if at all (There, I said it). A lot of the criticisms were levied against the people behind the scenes who believed The Problem with Apu was an assassination against his character before they backpedaled on their stances and decided to remove him from the show anyway, even though they had made me their mouthpiece. -- If you know me, then you should know that I would have had done things differently. I’ve always been the one to speak up on topical issues. I’m an environmentalist, I’m a firm advocate for animal rights. I relinquished my faith for my country by writing and speaking an essay attacking the American government and exposing Bob Arnold’s bribes. I tried to preach the truth about Jebediah Springfield, but I cut my losses. I should be the least likely to ask the public “What can you do?” My mom told me some things will have to be addressed at a later date, and I thought why not let that time be now? If you haven’t heard the news yet, the previous showrunner had passed the torch to someone else, which means I now have the free will to let you all in the truth that I’ve never divulged before. The now-former Simpsons showrunner, Al Jean, had forced me to speak on Apu’s behalf in the way he directed me to. You see, all this time, I knew what you could do, or in other words, what they could’ve done differently. No more being vague. No more speaking for my clients. And no more blank-staring at the fourth wall. So, what can you do? That is the question. They did NOT have to unperson Apu when they initially believed that they shouldn’t be pressured into writing him off. They did NOT have to try to feebly prove their critics wrong only to go take it all back. Sometimes, the best way to address this issue is to not address it at all. It’s not easy to acknowledge political incorrectness while you’re being viewed as someone who’s commits to it, or used to. But if it had to be addressed though…? That’s a different answer. If the main underlying issue was that Apu’s voice was being provided by someone who wasn’t his color, the least they could’ve done was supply him with the voice of someone of the same race. And this wasn’t an issue just for him, but for multiple other citizens of Springfield as well. Even when this proposal was handed to my clients on a silver platter, they didn’t use the opportunity to bring Apu back, and perhaps portray him in a new, better light. Hell, if my former client Al Jean wasn’t holding me back while I was more culturally aware than he was, I would’ve made this proposal when this problem was coming to light and I wouldn’t have left Apu out of the deal to give him a new voice. And I wouldn’t have waited until a massive cultural shift took place, namely the George Floyd protests (And no, we did not predict it. So stop saying that we did. I don’t even know how or why they fabricated that picture of me). These are just some of the things I could’ve done, but was unable to. It keeps me up at night knowing that Apu’s removal was a mistake on my part, because I didn’t do anything to prevent it except stare at the camera. There’s also the one time I said Elon Musk was perhaps the world’s greatest living inventor, another thing about me people refuse to live down. I’m not perfect, and I don’t try to claim that I am. I hope you’re all still reading this and I haven’t lost you. Just know that I’m doing this mainly for my friend Apu, and not because of Steel- Bart: Hey Lise, are you done rambling yet? Lisa: Go away, Bart. I’m trying to tell everyone in the SpongeBob Community to stop making memes about us. Bart: Well, I thought the “What can you do?” meme was funny. Lisa: I don’t, and if you were aware of the fact that the same community has been meme-ing you to death too, you would feel the same way I do. Bart: Nah, that meme of me they’ve been repeating was pretty funny too. Grow a sense of humor for once. Lisa: If that’s how you feel, then go ahead and say the line. Bart: “I didn’t do it”? Lisa: No, the other line. Bart: Oh yeah…that’s right! Moe: Thank you, Bart. I really needed that today. Seymour Skinner: Ohohohoho, delightfully devilish Seymour! Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, you’re an odd fellow, but I must say – you steam a good ham. Disembodied voice: On September 28th, one will die… Lisa: ...You see what I meme-MEAN? Are we really just a big joke to the community? Bart: People have been quoting Steamed Hams for years. We don’t always know when to quit. In fact, our show has been going for nearly 40 years and we still get comments about how it needs to end. The least you can do is embrace these jokes. Lisa: If at all. (Lisa and the rest of the Simpsons cast then proceed to stare blankly in front of the camera before Steel Sponge appears on-screen.) Steel Sponge: That’s right. The jokes may not die, but there are times where I can’t continue providing them. It’s been a wild ride being a part of the What If’s team, but when life gets in the way, you got to do what you got to do. Though this is my last episode as a full member of the crew, I promise to go out on a very special note. So let’s bring everyone here… (The Simpsons cast, including Apu, the ghosts of Rabbi Krustofsky, Maude Flanders, all previous incarnations of Snowball, and Larry the Barfly are all later joined by Steel, Jjseymour Skinner, Jesse Ventura, SBC’s MrBeast, Guns ‘n’ Roses, the community of San Jose, and former representatives of ViacomountCBSSkydanceKonamiSiliconValleyIKEA...all to partake in a musical finale: “We’ll Meet Again”): So, remember, before you ask anyone “What can you do?.” consider asking yourself that same question first. I’m Steel Sponge, and this has been another episode of SBC What If’s.

For those of you who don't know already know, Nickelodeon overhauled their website earlier this year, taking down all their videos and games and redirecting them to Nick's apps. I, like I'm sure many of you have, spent hours and hours as a kid playing Nick.com's games, especially their SpongeBob games, and even though most of them were coded in Flash, a software that is pretty much the poster boy for outdated tech, I believe these games should be able to be enjoyed as long as we're feasibly able to play them. That's why, with help from web curator and fellow SpongeBob fan Wumbo (no, not the one you're thinking of), I've been able to save most of Nick.com's old SpongeBob games and restore them as well as I could to a dedicated section of SBC, which I'm about to announce now: The SpongeBob Flash Games Archive! 50+ games are now available and playable on SBC. While most, if not all, of these games, are available on other websites, most of those sites are sketchy and slap ads on the games without attributing their developers. My goal with this archive is to provide an easy-to-use source of SpongeBob flash games that gives credit to the people behind them and doesn't try to blow up your computer. Since it's a flash games archive, you do need a device that can run Flash in order to play the games, meaning iPads and other mobile devices probably won't do. You also may have to toggle some browser settings to get Flash to work for SBC, and if you need help with that, let me know. I've been working on this for a while, and I'm happy to finally reveal it as an Easter weekend treat to you all.