Jump to content
Sponge on the Run is out on Netflix international!
Play in Pictionary on Saturdays!

Leaderboard


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 11/01/20 in all areas

  1. 8 points
    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna990066 Damn you 2020, you vile fiend.
  2. 8 points
    i miss talking to you all. and i know things have simmered down, but i'm sorry for my behaviors I've shown on and off throughout the years. I really hate how I handled things at first with passive agressiveness, and trying to justify shit that is absolutely inexcusable. Slurs are absolutely above me, and I went way too far repeating slurs for laughs when it isn't funny. It's fucking racist, and that's something I don't want to ever be. And I'm fucking down I've hurt many friends of mine, and I understand everyone knowing I can be better than this, I will admit I got mad at Halibut for the first two months or so since I was still acting like an asshole and made things worse back in July until I finally shut the fuck up and took some time to think, but I regret it all and wish I was able to realize a lot of flaws during the riots (like jesus christ i hate how i sounded very ignorant during the start of the george floyd protests, where i was scared of shit going down in my city when i have no reason to, racial equality is a thing i support, and police brutality is something that needs to be stopped). I know I've also looked manipulative (especially with my own crossover interests, constantly asking friends for art, and yes I appreciated of course, but it's my own ideas that I should really stop being insecure of doing myself in fears of sucking at it. I need to learn to draw and not bother others about my own hobbies), and I hate how I've always said and among some other things, but I just want to say, THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME REALIZE I GOT STUFF TO WORK ON! I have awareness of my wrongdoings, which is good, but I hate how I have trouble doing shit about it, and I still feel stuck on what to do to improve my own self, since I want to respect and have friends who I haven't given in return many times due to my own insecurities. I suck at wording my thoughts but I wanted to get this off my chest since I made myself more alone then ever and it's been affecting my online life OCD-wise where I can't keep my tweets/discord posts most of the time becuse some intrusive thought feels like it stays there until i delete it, so annoying, but that's for my therapist. I would love to return to discord, but I'm anxious I'm not ready yet due to ocd. I hope everyone's doing okay still, and I'd love to talk because I have a lot of guilt of a lot of things and I think I just want to put it behind me and try to help myself become a better person.
  3. 6 points
    Trafficking isn’t just in the murky depths of Rock Bottom, no. It peaks its ugly head in the more well known and “socially accepted” cities like Bikini Bottom. During my usual scene of patroling the streets of our favorite aquatic destination as I usually do, I stumbled upon a local sea resident who gave me the juicy scoop of a terrible reality within the community. Me, being the out of towner from upland couldn’t even comprehend the sinister reality of what this haunted cum rag mattress had witnessed for himself. It is tragic that the man was physically exposed to this being, he was the first one to Trick or Treat that night, as most children were either social distancing this year or grown up and watching clown spiders being bullied. This unknown sponge man is also thankful no children that night has bare to witness this anonymous man’s revolting nether fish regions, which has been describe as one item smaller than the other and a “fishy” odor. (This film footage was discovered by the orange fish’s cam recorder he had sitting by the door. Thankfully this was the only recorded thing on it.) If you see this exposing sicko report him immediately to the Bikini Bottom Police who will straighten him out. He has fleed his home, we assume without clothes once again, trying to get his sick kicks one last time before he runs off to the fields to live among the jellyfish carefree and naked. Or perhaps another fishy town, with his fellow fish pedophiles and ephebophiles.
  4. 5 points
    It's been a long time coming, and I've went back and forth on whether or not I want to do so, but I think I finally feel ready and safe to say that I'm gonna take a backseat from SBC. Things won't really be changing much since I've been fairly inactive since summer of 2018, and I'll still be on from time to time (I actually check the site fairly regularly, I just feel like I never post at all), and I'll be on the Discord still. Also if any of y'all wanna follow me on some of my more private social media (like Instagram or Snapchat) I'm totally cool with that; just DM me if you're interested (I'll still be checking the site like at least once a week), because I just don't feel particularly comfortable publicly giving out social media like that. As much as I love the pre movie episodes my interest in modern Spongebob and it's future is pretty much nonexistent and while things are gonna get grim, I gotta be honest. Since I wanna say around September/October 2018, my mental health has taken a pretty bad decline. A lot of it deals especially with dealing with some things going on in my family in regards to my sister's mental health (which she has made a big improvement in, and also something I've been upfront about making me depressed), my school life, and coming to terms with a lot of stuff in regards to growing up and just adolescence in general. Never really realized how much genuine trauma I have from middle school, which were the worst years of my life, until like over a year ago. A lot of this reached a head during the lockdown. Actually... literally right before lockdown (December 2019-February 2020) I was doing the best I had done in years, possibly ever. I actually felt confident in myself, was talking to people despite my crippling social anxiety.... and it all kinda went straight to shit slightly before lockdown hit. Not a lot of people know this, but I had a very unfortunate run in with university cops in mid-February, where I was threatened to be kicked out of university and maybe arrested under possession of drug paraphernalia. Not saying where I go to uni to protect my privacy because I don't wanna end up behind bars but I used to smoke weed really late at night on campus in the woods. Not a smart idea, please don't do it guys (not weed, just smoking it on campus). Anyway I also started buying CBD too when I ran out which I would also smoke, and I had a drawstring bag in my dorm (now at home) which basically had everything to let me smoke; two pipes, a grinder, lighter, rolling tray, a nug jug, and a thing of rolling paper. One night I was smoking when I saw a white van pass, carried on my business because I was doing CBD which is legal where I live, until they went back and started asking me, did the traditional questioning, did a pat down because in the eyes of American law enforcement doing any sort of thing resembling drugs automatically makes you a school shooter, and made me remove everything from my drawstring bag. CW: sexual harassment (this paragraph, and next) These cops were serious dickheads. When asked about why I used CBD, I said to help anxiety (wasn't lying), and they basically went on to mock me using it, saying how there's "safer outlets"; really the only risk I'm running is to my lungs which is whatever, and it's legal and even if it wasn't, let me make my own decisions. Anyway, after the pat down, after everything was removed from my pockets, they wanted to check for weapons again, and the cop who was frisking me proceeded to... put his hand down the back of my jeans, and basically in other words.... tickle the upper part of my butt over my underwear. One of the cops sexually harassed me; it made me insanely uncomfortable, and this was POST patdown, everything was out of my pockets, the hoodie I was wearing was off and on the hood of their car. After that, they proceeded to make me smash all my pipes against a rock as they delightfully watched, and throw my rolling tray and grinder into a nearby river from a point where I wouldn't be able to reach it ever. It was a really cold night so they let me go as long as I got rid of most of my stuff; I still had my lighter, nug jug (which funnily enough was the only thing I had on me that had weed on the jug but they didn't give a shit because cops suck), and rolling paper- and had to buy everything else again. Didn't have to worry about the pipes because I invested in a bong right when lockdown hit (which was an insanely smart idea, probably the best purchase I've made all year), and bought another grinder this summer and only bought another rolling tray about two/three weeks ago. Anyway I basically went back to my dorm, waited for my roommate to come back, told a lot of my closest friends, and cried my fucking eyes out that night. A lot of what I'm feeling just reached a major head during lockdown, a culmination of what I've been feeling a lot of, which a lot of it is really private and I don't really feel comfortable talking to many people at all about. But to add insult to injury, and something I've told no one, I uncovered a pretty traumatic repressed memory from my childhood this summer, involving me being... coincidentally, sexually harassed by a group of teenage boys who would regularly torment me on vacation... I was never raped or molested but I'll just put it at that they basically cornered me on the neighborhood park and forced me to show them... I'll just say what's in my pants because they thought it would be funny. I was about six or seven when it happened, felt disgusting after it happened, and just repressed it for years. It really really took it's toll on me during August and September, and for most of the time at lockdown, I just avoided everyone and everything because I was depressed. Even my own parents who are sweet and supportive as fuck and I feel awful because of it. I was super angsty, grumpy, and just not fun at all to be around. My mental health started to get a bit better after moving back to uni mid-August and getting a bit more independence but I was a shitty friend and son for like all of summer who just really wouldn't want to talk to anyone at all. I feel insanely shitty about it, but I've been getting more social again (albeit I've been way less social then I've normally been for a while now because of depression) and my parents are cool with me, and told me how they loved having me during quarantine before I went back to uni, which was a silver lining because maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was. I was mainly just super reclusive and just really quiet around my parents, but I guess I'm usually a pretty quiet guy. Anyway a lot of this reached a head in mid-October where I just kind of broke down one day, started experiencing pretty bad bouts of anhedonia, frustration, anger, and what not and that's when I finally put my foot down and decided to seek help because of how tired I am of living like this. And I'm seeing a therapist in December for the first time. And with Biden winning, I'm hoping (but not counting on it) corona will get a little better in the US, things are finally starting to seem bright again. Really admitting I had a problem made me feel so much better, and knowing that I was gonna get help. And even if it doesn't work (which I really don't think it won't work) at least I tried. The future is starting to look somewhat bright for me, thank god. I've contemplated making a more detailed post/video about what's been going on but I feel satisfied with this because a lot of what I'm feeling is pretty private. But I guess the short of it is my social anxiety (I have Asperger's) is insanely bad. Besides like cashiers and people I have to talk to like that I freeze up pretty much whenever I talk to anyone my age, who I feel like I don't relate to most of which at all, but it's especially bad with girls, jesus christ. I freeze up so goddamn bad. And I've asked out a ton of girls in the past and I'm having a harder time talking to girls as I'm getting older which is all sorts of bizarre. And a big reason I'm sad, and I know how stupid and incelish this sounds, is because I'm 19 (20 in April) and I've never kissed a girl, never had a girlfriend, and never want past that. I just feel so left out, and alienated from everyone and I have for pretty much all of high school despite having some friends (some of which I'm admittedly having problems with, but a good share I'm still tight with and are good people). I'm just sick of this shit, and I've been feeling it for goddamn years now. And it needs to change. Because I don't like myself at all and I hate it. Because I know I'm worth it, and I know people love me and think I'm a good guy. Two last things; another big reason for my absence and my further absence has just been school. As I've said, I'm at uni and juggling a regular sized class load, and other interests have taken up way more of my free time than going on here- just the way it is, unfortunately. So that's why I've been way more absent especially since starting my freshman year. But I've still made time to come on here, but that's why I haven't been posting a lot; I'm mostly on here to check up with y'all, but I guess that could also do with the fact that I just haven't been very social at all recently. Last thing is I'm sorry for how I treated a lot of people here back in 2014-2015. Middle school me was the worst. I was dealing with the aftermath of some pretty awful shit in seventh grade that led to me trying to take my life (I'm here now, and I'm gonna get better now ofc) and I just became an edgy, obnoxious, pretentious little shit because of it and I criticized a lot of music insanely unfairly and was just a fucking asshole to a lot of people... because I was honestly an asshole in real life and I just didn't know any better. I've already done so before, but I especially want to apologize to @Clappy, who honestly got the worst of it in retrospect. A lot of my criticisms, especially regarding Paramore (have actually enjoyed their music for 3 or so years now at this point), were insanely biased and I was just hating on things that were popular and loved because I was a pretentious little shit. I'm so sorry, guys. Unfortunately some of the most active years I've had on here were the years where I just acted the worst. I don't wanna just apologize to Clappy, but everyone who was involved in my awful music criticism and overall douchery. So sorry. I've grown up a lot since those years (and especially in the last two years I've grown up a lot) and I'm far from a perfect person, but goddamn it, I'm trying. And that's really that. I fluctuated between making this post a ton and whether I should take a backseat, but I'm gonna to focus on both my mental health and school. Thanks to everyone who's been a great friend, and thanks to everyone who put up with me when I was at my worst. But I need to focus on the real world for a while. Maybe I'll be back soon and I'll feel able to do so, and I hope so. But recently I just haven't been active and besides my occasional visit, I'm just gonna take a backseat. Obviously, if any of y'all wanna stay in contact with me, I'm all arms. I'll still be on Discord and if you wanna know me better personally, feel free to DM me for any of my more personal social media (and you can DM me on Discord too) Until then, sayonara, 再见 (actually been learning Chinese since first semester freshman year), adios, what have ya. I'll be back, but I got a lot I need to focus on now. Sincerely, -Ryan (CyanideFishbone)
  5. 5 points
    Members: (struggled a lot with this so no hard feelings if you're not here) Best Debater: Hawk, Wumbo, Clappy, Nuggets, and Homie Funniest Member: OWM, Slug, Kev, Ding, and OMJ Spongiest Member: 4EverGreen, NegiSpongie, WhoBob, Carotte, and sbl Kindest Member: SOF, Mythix, Patty, That Excited SpongeKid, and Cha Most Mature Member: Cha, Fa, Wumbo, OMJ, and Clappy Most Contributive Member: Steel, Cha, dman, Prez, and JCM Most Competitive Member: dman, Mythix, Fred, RDSP, and DarknessDG Most Creative Member: Katie, DarknessDG, Local, Prez and Patty Spin-Offs/Lits: Best Creation: OMJ's Die-In Theater, Cherish, Super Mario Bros. Z Kong, JCMovies, and SpongeBob SquarePants: Lost in Translation Best Ended Creation: Interloopers Unite, Community Deathmatch, Underwater Survivor: SBC Style, Team SpongeBob, and Tyeam Universe Best Episode: "Guardians of the Community" - SBCinema, "JCM Goes on a Wild Kev Hunt" - JCMovies, "True or square" - Lost in Translation, "Patrick Starts a Talk Show" - The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star, and "The Power of Love" - Cherish Best Comedy: OMJ's Die-In Theater, JCMovies, The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star, Bikini Bottom Nature Watch, and Battle for Bikini Bottom - A Nonsensical Parody Best Storyline: Cherish, Power Rangers: Multiverse Force, Interloopers Unite, Super Mario Bros. Z Kong, and A Dead Eye for a Dead Eye Best Setting: Total Cartoon Strikes Back, Power Rangers: Multiverse Force, JCMovies, A Dead Eye for a Dead Eye, and Battle for Bikini Bottom - A Nonsensical Parody Best Protagonist: Mr. Krabs (Cherish), Wally (Interloopers Unite), JCM (JCMovies), SpongeBuck SquarePants (A Dead Eye for a Dead Eye), and Patrick (The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star) Best Antagonist: Plankton (Battle for Bikini Bottom - A Nonsensical Parody), Dr. Maniac (Power Rangers), MCJ (JCMovies), and Udon (Sub-Tropical Academy) Hall of Fame: Honorary Creator: NegiSpongie and Nuggets Honorary Creation: Total Cartoon (going on for 12 years is pretty commendable) and The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star Honorary Staff: teenj and Fred Honorary Member: Katniss and dman
  6. 5 points
    i am 4 years clean from self harm today people! it does not feel like it has been four years but apparently it has lol
  7. 4 points
    Hello, everyone! It’s that time of the year again! No, it's not the holiday season...yet! Instead, it’s time for the Golden Community Awards! With your extra special host, live from Canada…sbl (hey, that’s me)! I’d like to thank jjs for the opportunity to host this exciting tradition, here on SBC. I’m sure you’re all looking forward to it, so let’s start, shall we? Of course, this show can’t start without nominating some people for the awards! First, let’s go over the rules: 1) Don’t nominate yourself. After all, we are a community! As you can see, I've already put the “Golden” in Golden Community Awards, and when we start nominating we’re putting the “Community” in there too! 2) You may nominate between 2 to 5 choices for the Member and Spin-Off-Literature categories, and can only nominate 2 categories for the Hall of Fame categories. 3) You’re most welcome to skip any of the three sections if you’re not able to nominate anything for their respective categories…but please do try to at least nominate for one category! 4) If you really don’t know who or what to nominate for a particular category in a section, you are most welcome to skip that category. However, don’t do this for every category otherwise you may as well just skip the section. Understand? 5) Don’t copy/paste other members' nomination lists. I’m sure you may have similar choices as others...but the entire list? Come on, be original! 6) Don’t get upset if you aren’t nominated in this topic. There’s always next year! Now, here are the categories! CATEGORIES: MEMBER CATEGORIES: Best Debater: Funniest Member: Spongiest Member: Kindest Member: Most Competitive Member: Most Mature Member: Most Contributive Member: Most Creative Member: SPIN-OFF/LITERATURE CATEGORIES: (Note: if these do not get enough submissions, the staff will decide.) Best Creation: Best Ended Creation: Best Episode: Best Comedy: Best Storyline: Best Setting: Best Protagonist: Best Antagonist: HALL OF FAME CATEGORIES: (Note: For this section, you only nominate 2 per category.) Honorary Creator: Those who have had a profound impact on Spin-Offs/Lits will be nominated and inducted. Sabre, Wumbo, jjsthekid, OMJ, Clappy, Steel Sponge, teenj12, JCM, tvguy347 and Fa have won previously and cannot be nominated. Honorary Creation: Creations that have had a profound impact will be nominated. "Adventures in the Underground City", "Storm Racers", "Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000", "JCMovies", "Team SpongeBob", "SBCinema", "Community Deathmatch", "Mystic Guardians", “My Leg!” and “Skodwarde” have won previously and cannot be nominated. Honorary Staff Member: Those who have had a profound impact on SBC can be nominated. Former staff can also be nominated for this award. tvguy347, jjsthekid, CNF, Wumbo, Nuggets, JCM, Clappy, Patty Sponge and Cha have won previously and cannot be nominated. Honorary Member: For ordinary members who you feel deserve special recognition, whether it be based on behaviour, activity, or their contributions in general. Current staff – jjsthekid, JCM, Fred, OWM, Trophy, Cha, Patty Sponge, and Aquatic Konquest – cannot be nominated for this award. Cha, WhoBob, SOF, HawkbitAlpha and sbl have won previously and cannot be nominated. Nomination Template: Remember, for the Spin-Off & Literature and Member categories, you need to nominate between 2 to 5 choices. For the Hall of Fame, you can only nominate 2 choices. If you're not sure about the past Hall of Fame winners, be sure to check either the wiki or the signature of jjs! There is no deadline...yet. But be sure to submit your nominations as soon as you possibly can! If you're unsure as to what any of the categories mean, then do be sure to ask! The prizes will be revealed at a later date… Now nominate, or else I will ban you from entry to Canada!
  8. 4 points
    Howdy-do, fellow SBC'ers - and OBAB: This is your friendly neighborhood Appy with a message. I've been part of the SB forum scene since 2015, and for me, it's been a fun ride. I'll never forget what it was like checking out the other SB forum for a short while - lurking about the forums and checking out all the threads. Something about it and its culture appealed to me somehow, and it was sometime in August I finally decided to sign in as "The Appetizer". Ah, I remember when I impressed all of you with my spouting out of random fads and such that I accumulated knowledge of while wandering through that forum - but it wasn't all fun. I came up with my fair share of good topics and such in those days, but eventually I just seemed to have just wanted attention. Recognition. I would even make joke posts with reaction GIFs in those days looking for a quick like - even if the topic was serious - what a seriously effed-up person I was in those days. Thankfully, I've matured, blossomed into a more mature individual. But I've decided it's time to leave the site, unfortunately. I think it was 'round September of 2015 I decided to join this place, and I think I've loved it more than the other SB forum. So many cool things about this place, so many wonderful, fun events and such. But enough about the forum! There are some nice folks I've met during my SB forum experience. There's one guy, however, that comes to mind who was probably my personal best friend: Renegade: Where do I begin with you, Rene? You were probably the bestest friend I found during my experiences here. I don't know how lucky I was to find you on the other place in 2016 or so. You were one of the only ones who actually felt the same way about my weird fascinations (you know who I'm talking about), and I'll always fondly remember our ongoing PMs about our little Casper and Wendy lit. So many wonderful ideas and such we came up with - but not just that. You were just a nice guy to chat with. There's a lot of other folks I've met thanks to here and the other forum I've met who I only wish we could've communicated more: Carotte, Kieran, Jaic, CDCB, Tide, OWM, etc. Some of you seem like folks I'd love to casually converse with on Discord more, especially folks who seem really cool and share some of my same interests. Kieran especially seems like a really nice person who I'd love to chat with more. Not too much, though, and if we're going to continue being friends/acquaintances, I'd rather we keep the conversation impersonal. I don't want it to get too personal, and besides, my good IRL friends are more of a priority than you guys, but you fellows are almost there. The main reason I wanna leave is simple - I've phased out of the forums, and I don't consider SBCord to be one of my most active Discords. Plus, I've embarked on a cartoon project that some of you folks know about that I'd rather not publicly mention. It and its adjacent Discord are more of a priority to me than casually chatting with you fellows about whatever, frittering away my time casually chatting on Discord or in the forums. No, I ain't posting the invite here, don't wanna get raided again. Not only that, but I gotta start living. So many new movies, shows, games, etc. I wanna check out. And we only live once - it's too short to be wasting time. So consider this to be a "Goodbye, SBC" post, in a way. It's been a lotta fun, and hopefully some of us can still keep in touch. The big question you guys are wondering: Will I still be on Discord? Of course, I will. I don't know how long I'll be on the SBC server, but I'll definitely be there every Saturday or so for Pictionary, if I can make it. So I'll stay on the Pictionary server but probably won't be on the main SBC server anymore. I might pop in here and there, though, but if you see me online, it's probably 'cause I'm on my project's server or something. Carotte, I'll still be somewhat active on your server as well. I've every intent of using Discord a bit less to prioritize other things, although I love the platform. But if there's anything going on you think I may be interested in, give me a ping or a DM. I might not be able to respond to your DMs instantly, though, so try and be patient with me if you leave a DM and I don't respond right away. But for a lot of ya - so long. Farewell. Auf weidersehn. Goodbye. It's been a lotta fun, but it's time for me to leave the forums for good. Incidentally - you might've seen I mentioned the Tide and Seeker. About all of you know what he was back in the day. But he's changed for the better. Ask CDCB. He'll elaborate. PS: A few last requests - 1. The rights to The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy and Casper and Wendy Shorts: I bequeath to @Renegade the Unicorn, @Steel Sponge and @4EverGreen. 2. For the remainder of the week, @jjsthekid - how about a special skin to remember me by? I know I never had King Neptune powers, but just as a little something for the folks who miss me to remember me by.
  9. 4 points
    Our long national nightmare is finally over.
  10. 3 points
    Members: Best Debater: Hawk, Jjs, Wumbo, Clappy, Kev Funniest Member: OMJ, Kev, Cha, Danny DeVito, OWM Spongiest Member: Katie, NegiSpongie, President Squidward, 4EverGreen, That Excited SpongeKid Kindest Member: SOF, Cha, Sauce Mama, Mythix, The Appetizer Most Mature Member: Jjs, Hawk, Katniss, Trophy, Patty Rose Most Contributive Member: Patty Rose, sbl, JCM, OMJ, dmandaman Most Competitive Member: dmandaman, DarknessDG, Fred Rechid, JCM Most Creative Member: Cha, Katie, Patty Rose, Local Aquatic, President Squidward Spin-Offs/Lits: Best Creation: SBCinema, Pirate Legends, OMJ's Die-In Theater, JCMovies, The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy Best Ended Creation: Community Deathmatch, Miss Appear, Skodwarde, Gary the Snail's Undersea Adventures, A Dead Eye for an Eye Best Episode: Post Fiction (SBCinema), Complications (Cherish), Pirate's Life (Pirate Legends), The Inquisitor and the Duck (Duck Dodgers 40,000), JCM Rings in the New Year (JCMovies) Best Comedy: The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star, OMJ's Die-In Theater, Bikini Bottom Nature Watch, JCMovies Best Storyline: Power Rangers: Multiverse Force, Cherish, Pirate Legends, Interloopers Unite!, Duck Dodgers 40,000 Best Setting: Duck Dodgers 40,000, Pirate Legends, Total Cartoon Strikes Back, Power Rangers: Multiverse Force, Interloopers Unite! Best Protagonist: Mack Stark (Pirate Legends), Cherish (Cherish), Wendy (The Misadventures of Casper and Wendy), Daffy Duck/Duck Dodgers (Duck Dodgers 40,000), Wally (Interloopers Unite!) Best Antagonist: Hector Bedossa (Pirate Legends), Dr. Maniac (Power Rangers: Multiverse Force), The Swarmlord (Duck Dodgers 40,000), Dr. Steel (SBCinema ep. 88) Hall of Fame: Honorary Creator: NegiSpongie and Renegade the Unicorn Honorary Creation: Total Cartoon series and Miss Appear Honorary Staff: teenj and Fred Honorary Member: Katniss and E.V.I.L.
  11. 3 points
    Apologies for the month-long drought on both the Cherish and SMBZ Kong fronts. I fell from the high of October pretty hard and it's leaked over well into November for a number of reasons. Hopefully I'll be back in the groove again soon enough. But I have managed to prepare something special for this upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. That's all I'll let out for now!
  12. 3 points
    Oh, what's this? The fellow who personifies my very image has decided to let me shamelessly copy Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000 while making it into something of his own? It's that time that I give you all a proper, short introduction to myself, this series, and what it's all about. I am your host, the avatar of Steel Sponge that I'm sure you're all familiar with. Here at CBC3, I take a look at old writing from Steel that he is ashamed of having written. Jjs' old riffing series already got its job done in tearing apart Can You Please Past the Future and The Dark Side of the Herd, so this series will riff on anything else from said author that it hasn't riffed before. Of course, I am acting as his mouthpiece for this series, and I will review each of his works that will be covered with humorous jabs and as well as with critical feedback, and this is just scratching the surface. The first thing that I will be diving right into later this month will be a spin-off titled Guru Gakuto. When the cinema will start opening up, I can't fully announce that, but I am working on the first set of riffs as we speak. Until later this month, I'll be seeing you all at the cinema.
  13. 3 points
    Sponge on the run, Sponge on the run And the jailer man and sailor Krabs Were searching every one For the Sponge on the run, Sponge on the run
  14. 3 points
    Similar to how we released two skins in 2014 that tied into Sponge Out of Water, we now have a Sponge on the Run themed skin available for all in the selector! It was created by @Aquatic Konquest. Enjoy!
  15. 3 points
    1. Welcome to the Cinema (Guru Gakuto; Episode 1) Good evening to all. Welcome to the first installment of Chemist Bob’s Catastrophic Creations Cinema – CBC3 for short. As the title already suggests, the host is none than, yours truly, Chemist Bob. At the request of my fellow who embodies my very image, the aim of this show is to work my way through a select few works made by Steel Sponge that haven’t been torn apart before on the ol’ Jjs’ Riffing Theater, and of course, I’m talking about works of Steel’s in which they have been victims of a bad case known as…bad writing! It is my job to analyze and riff these past horrors with Steel’s and I’s own brand of snark. My guiding force thought it would be best if this show starts off with a look back on a little spin-off named Guru Gakuto – 10-year old a spin-off that was once so great that it started a short-lived trend in the form of the DoodleBob-starred spin-off micogenre, if you could call it that. I’m just a visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of one particular SBC member, so I don’t write my own scripts. Alright, back on topic with Guru Gakuto. It’s got an interesting description of story and characters, so let’s see what we’re going to expect out of this spin-off… Plot: 12 years after Spongebob (2022), Man, I feel so old reading that. It shocks me that we’re just a mere two years away from 2022 now. Will the events portrayed in this spin-off’s 2022 actually happen in the real world? Steel was far-off from what did happen in 2020 through his short-lived creation, Can You Please Past the Future, so I have my doubts. Spongebob becomes mayor of Bikini Bottom. Oh, the year 2010…that was the year boys became men, girls became women, and the year good ol’ author still didn’t have the decency to capitalize the ‘Bob’ in ‘SpongeBob.’ That’s quite a bit of disrespect to internet SpongeBob personas everywhere, myself included. Then, an abandoned notebook drops into a magic cauldron, bringing DoodleBob back from the dead. As a return, DoodleBob decides to unleash Doodle Darkness in Bikini Bottom, and eventually erase the entire boundaries of Bikini Bottom, and then the whole ocean. The heroes of this story plot to defeat the Doodle Darkness by using the powers of Doodle Light invested in them. Reconnect. Kingdom Hearts. Following another backstory of 7 abandoned kids I could’ve sworn that there was no other backstory addressed in this description. which belonged to a hidden legend named Gakuto after their parents, including the kids themselves died, until Gakuto gave the kids pebbles of life. This is the story of a group of kids that belonged to Gakuto after they and their parents died…until they were no longer dead. After they were each resurrected, Gakuto hears that Bikini Bottom needed him. Gakuto disappears and separates his kids, who were resurrected in the sin circle. Spongebob now sends the pre-teens to find Gakuto and restore peace. At this point, I could only wonder how this story is going to pan out. I’m concerned about the whole “sin circle” part, though. Anyways, let’s have a look at our cast of main characters. Characters: Sierra: Resurrected with Lust. Alright, so we’re looking at a group of characters with personalities based off of the Seven Deadly Sins. I see where the author is getting at here. So, how can you go wrong with this? The leader of the group, and has sudden crush with second in-command: Rick, but precisely in a "different" way. And just like that, I am concerned. Sure, these kids were born into different respective families, but when it comes down to the fact that these seven were adopted into one big family, there’s one conclusion you can’t help but come to from these implications. Of course, the author was 15 at the time and didn’t know any better than to write a couple characters with incest implications. I’ve been informed that the author has been evolving as a writer, so I should know full well that what he wrote since those past ten years do not reflect the kind of writer he is now. Rick: Resurrected with Wrath. Second in-command. Angry most of the time, as he rivaled with Mason ever since. Nothing else is known about him. “Nothing else is known about him.” That’s the sentence that speaks to me, “I’m too lazy to say anything more about this character.” Vivian: Resurrected with Sloth. Goes on adventures with the other six, but most of the time, she's really lazy to do so. “And I’m too lazy to say anything more about this character,” the author may add. Mason: Resurrected with Envy. Sometimes he's jealous, and has rivaled with Rick ever since, but he wants to be part of the in-crowd. Gee, I thought this was a spin-off about a group of kids trying to find their adoptive father in a dystopian undersea world, not a spin-off about a group of kids dealing with school and trying to climb the social ladder. Jonah: Resurrected with Greed. She wants like everything, Like, that’s totes literally the whole world, in case you weren’t like feeling lowkey woke on how much of a queen this girl is. and can be bratty at times, and no matter what, the others force her calm side. “The others force her calm side”…? What’s that supposed to mean? Theodore: Resurrected with Gluttoney. Who is this “Gluttoney” you speak of? Complains and talks about food, and sometimes hallucinates his sibs as a meal. In other words, Theodore is implied to be into vore. Jason: Resurrected with Pride. He has traits unknown to his own self; Funny enough, his traits are also unknown to the author, which is why he didn’t write them. Otherwise, he is respectful to the other six. Okay, cool, but where does the characteristics of Pride come in for Jason, since he is the embodiment of that sin? No, nothing? We’re not even going to get descriptions telling us about the other important characters in this spin-off like DoodleBob, Gakuto, the other main villain, or even Mayor SpongeBob? Yeah, who cares about them, am I right? These seven characters are everything that you need to know about this spin-off. At the very least, some fellow members are on-board with how the story looks so far. This guy sure thinks so: On 7/30/10 at 11:38 PM, Georgex Zimmerzuna said: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I don't approve... Of this being one season. I DEMAND TWO! PLEASE! This idea is just so unique, and I LOVE ideas focusing on the 7 Deadly Sins! I hope this turns out to be AWESOME, because it seems liek it will be! And this guy: On 7/31/10 at 8:25 AM, Ron said: ^ This I have a feeling this will be your best spin off ever and I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT to read it. And this guy: On 7/31/10 at 8:27 AM, Wumbo said: Sounds like an awesome spin-off. I'll be tuning in. And this guy: On 7/31/10 at 8:27 AM, 70s said: This will be your best work. Ever. Apologies to all those that I have retroactively let down after riffing this spin-off. I won’t lie. The concept for this spin-off feels like it could be set up for a good story. It’s the writing in the story itself that matters most. So let’s not waste any more time, let’s dive right into the real meat of Guru Gakuto and have a look at the first episode. 1. Who is That Man?(festival episode) That Man doesn't seem like someone familiar to me either. It's interesting to see the author add that this was part of a spin-off festival in the distant past. Not too long ago, there was once a legend; Now wait a minute, isn’t something considered a legend when it dates back to hundreds or thousands of years? It feels pretty contradictory to consider someone or something a legend and flashback to events that happened “not too long ago.” a guru in mortal combat. While I’m still at it, I should acknowledge that this is also contradicted later on in the story. Remember this for when I get to the final episode. Everybody needed him. The world needed him. Sandy needed him. Even Squidward needed him! They called him...Gakuto. How clever of the author to pause to establish the mysterious nature of this character, assuming that we don’t know this man already through the title of this spin-off. Then a storm arrived. At five sentences, I’m already seeing a problem with the story’s pacing. At least explain where this storm is taking place. He kept hiding from the underwater world, the human world, he saw in crisis, So, we’re not going to know about any other worlds that Gakuto has been hiding from? We’re going to skip right to another topic? only seven kids, and their parents…in their journey to heaven. He altered the forms of the kids to keep. Why not salvage the parents? What did those seven kids do to deserve being spared and pulled away from the afterlife? Why am I asking myself all these questions when I should know them since the author and I are am one? He then found a place to resurrect. Due to a rush, he wasn’t in the right place. I’d feel the same too when the spin-off is in such a rush to tell us the story about how Gakuto resurrected the seven main characters. Before that, he found crystals in various labyrinths, And he started cooking up some really fine meth. carved them into pebbles, and bought an ancient resurrection tablet. He bought it for just the low price of $19.95! (AND the tiger poster, as a gift!) He finally arrived, and with those words, engraved in the tablet… Excuse me, finally? In the context that it felt like a long journey for Gakuto to find a way to resurrect these souls, it makes sense, but I’m still on the first paragraph, and I sure didn’t anticipate for the part where Gakuto arrives at the resurrection spot. “Sierra, give me Lust,” Gakuto slightly chanted. That sounds pretty uncomfortable if you take it out the context. He put in the next child in which they call the “Sin Circle.” “Rick, give me Wrath,” he continued, and as he put him in the circle. “Vivian, give me Sloth,” and Gakuto did the same. “Mason, give me Envy! Jonah, give me Greed! Theodore, give me Gluttony! Ravioli, ravioli, help me bring back to life this childoli. And to finish this, Jason: Neptune gifts you Pride!” Huh, I guess Gakuto didn’t love the other six enough to give them Neptune’s blessing. The circle was complete, with the pebbles of life attached. A bright light shined. They were alive! They were alive! They were alive, with an exclamation point to tell you how much of a big deal that was, in case you didn’t know! That was another story. Yep, I guess we’re just going to sweep the rest of that backstory under the mat and move on to the main timeframe of this story. Gakuto’s actions, responsibilities, courage, they all lead to the needs of many Bikini Bottomites. Eventually, they found and suffered great danger. Let’s go to the year of 2022, as we now enter Mayor Spongebob. We enter Mayor SpongeBob…and? Don’t just make me assume that we’re literally entering inside him. Don’t make me have to think about that either. Spongebob was in his limo was took a step on the yellow carpet. Even back then, the author was prone to flying past some mistakes he could’ve proofread, like this one. Spongebob was now 36. We also see his assistant Sandy Cheeks, and body-guard Patrick Star. And I guess we’re not going to know anything else about the other two. For some reason, it was vital for the author to remind us that SpongeBob is 36 years old now in this story. There was also flash photography everywhere. Everywhere, you say? All those folks surrounding the outside of SpongeBob’s mayoral office must be making the view brighter than a rave party. Something important must be going on to warrant a scene where SpongeBob is shown with cameras all around him. “Oh my goodness, it’s Mayor Spongebob!” Fish #1 in the crowd uttered. I wouldn’t want to know what this guy’s Mayor SpongeBob Stan Twitter account looks like. “Don’t worry folks, the mayor is doing his job,” said Spongebob. He then closed the door to his hall and was now writing a treaty. Looks like it my hunch was right, only a few paragraphs into this time period, and we already see SpongeBob ending some kind of war with another undersea province. “Mr. Squarepants sir, these are some old collectables,” one of the body-guards said. The author also didn’t seem to have the decency to capitalize the ‘p’ in ‘SquarePants.’ Also, I believe you meant to spell ‘collectibles.’ ”Just set them there, I’ll un-pack in a few hours,” Spongebob replied. With that, they left Spongebob alone. Now we see an old, evil, and bad looking doodle, You mean bad as in lousy, or bad as in evil, which was what you had already previously described of this doodle? which was known to be DoodleBob, assistant Sandy Cheeks was having a chat with Spongebob about benefits of her new magic cauldron, she left it there, and a book dropped on the floor. The magic cauldron did it. Spongebob put it back in the shelf where the old collectables were. A little bit of wind slipped the evil further to the magic cauldron, and BOOM! Spongebob didn’t noticed. I didn’t ‘noticed’ either. As DoodleBob returned to life, he fled the courtroom, This is telling me that Mayor SpongeBob’s office is actually inside a courthouse, along with the thought that all the stuff lying around is because SpongeBob has a real office waiting for him and he’s not done with moving. It would make sense to sign a peace treaty there though. working on a deviously evil plan. “After 10,000 years, I’m free! It’s time to conquer Earth!” A few days later, there was a cloud of ink, So Mayor SpongeBob just didn’t try to stop DoodleBob from escaping and getting started with his evil plan? Well, this is nothing to worry about, folks. The mayor is just doing his job, like he said. and Spongebob couldn’t believe his eyes. *Resists urge to make an Owl City reference* With that, he called a town meeting. “Ladies, gentleman: there’s something fishy going on here!” Spongebob announced. ”Well, what is it?” Fish #2 said. Mayor SpongeBob: “That’s a good question, Fish #2.” “I think its bad enough for Squidward to do “that,” but this one’s serious,” Spongebob continued. I’d honestly like to know all about Squidwardgate more than I’d want to know what happened after your assistant’s magic cauldron freed DoodleBob. “Spongebob, there has been a major situation with my cauldron,” Sandy said to him. She then showed surveillance footage of DoodleBob leaving the courtyard. Oh yeah, that’s right, as I should already tell from that last “SpongeBob didn’t noticed” sentence, even she didn’t hear the all-caps boom with an exclamation point. So much for this magic cauldron we know very little about having benefits for the good in life, huh? “DoodleBob…how…is that even possible?” Spongebob thought. “It was the cauldron, genius!” Squidward said from the crowd. Thanks for answering the question that I would’ve answered myself. “Aw man, my evil drawing has been cleverer than I thought…” said Spongebob. I’m pretty sure you and Sandy have played yourselves into this situation. ”You think? It didn’t happen deliberately,” said Sandy. ”There’s got to be someone strong enough to take him down!” Spongebob thought. “Maybe there is,” said Mr. Krabs, as he appeared on a wheelchair. Ah yes, the classic “so old now they have to use a wheelchair” character cliché. “Gakuto, Spongebob. Try and find that legend,” he suggested. ”Count on me Eugene, I’ll try and get contact with him,” Spongebob replied. He then appeared in his office, at nighttime. “Operator, I need to reach…Gakuto.” When literally the whole ocean needs Gakuto, it makes sense that he would have to make his dues by opening up a hotline of his own. For someone who is hard to find once as he vanishes in a puff of smoke, he’s easy to get contact of. The next day arrived, and this time, at Gakuto’s scene. Gakuto: This time is MY time. “The world needs me…they need me too much,” Gakuto thought as he saw many Bikini Bottomites in far distance, chanting for him to save the ocean. He then turned to his seven kids. “So I wouldn’t get harmed, you seven are all in-charge.” How bold of him to announce that he’s going incognito from society…to the public around him. Unless those fish in the far distance don’t have super hearing, Gakuto would have to be lucky if more problems haven’t arisen because of him announcing his departure in-person with people there to watch. “What’s that suppose to mean? You were always here for us,” said Jonah. Gakuto: I cannot handle the life of a celebrity, and therefore I must leave you all behind on your own. “Indeed, you all continue your lives without me, I’m fleeing the perimeter,” Gakuto continued. If there’s something I should already be made aware of the author’s old writing style, it’s his tendency to sugarcoat dialogue that would only end up not sounding like something anyone would normally say. For sure, this isn’t the only rare sentence I’ll be seeing from this spin-off. “Does that mean you’ll come back?” Sierra asked. He’s going someplace where most dads disappear to. I wouldn’t count on it that he’ll be back as soon as you’d think. “I’m afraid to say that I would never come back until there are no more concerns, that I have to fix,” Gakuto replied. “Take care of yourselves; I know you’ll all be alright.” Gakuto then ran south from Bikini Bottom’s city limits. ”I can’t believe it, whose idea was it to spread words like that?” Jason thought. This guy knows what he’s doing more-so than the so-called legend himself. “We’re moving forward, we need to investigate Bikini Bottom.” ”Well, I don’t want to go; I heard it’s a horrible city,” said Jonah. All seven eventually arrived at Bikini Bottom and saw Spongebob. You can’t always have what you wish for. “Something tells me you all know Gakuto,” Spongebob said as he saw the pebbles of life. Either they gave away so much to you or you assume it right away that a group of people have to do with Gakuto whenever you see seven kids with pebbles tied around their necks. “What are you talking about? You saying you caused all this?” Rick asked. “Eugene convinced me to do so,” Spongebob replied. “Well that’s a relief, because now, I WANNA LITERALLY SLIT HIS-“said Rick; Now take it easy there, Nostalgia Critic. Sierra halted them. “Explain more.” By ‘them,’ you mean just Rick unless the other fellows weren’t holding themselves back too. “Are you all friends with Gakuto?” Spongebob asked. “He’s the reason why we feel like family, but not anymore,” Jonah answered. Man, Gakuto disappearing from his adopted kids took quite a toll on them. Some father figure he is. “Pretty convenient to see the relatives of Gakuto right here if I needed one, your mission is to find Gakuto to stop this madness,” said Spongebob. How exactly is that convenient for you, besides being able to tell them to carry out the mission you’re assigning them? “What madness, talking about the foggy clouds in the distance?” Vivian said referring to the ink clouds DoodleBob caused. “Introduce yourselves and let it rip,” Spongebob replied. Okay…but I’m not used to saying this at all…hi I’m Chemist Bob, and my favorite kind of gas is the kind that combines carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane! I can show you that right now. “I’m Rick, someone who can easily tear someone from limb to limb,” said Rick. “This loser here is Mason.” Rick then showed Spongebob the next guy. Rick must’ve been getting his cues from all those bad SBC Lit portrayals of ExKizuna. Then again, wrath is defined as extreme anger. “So, I hear you’re the mayor, pretty damn lucky,” Mason commented. Sure, thanks, carry on,” said Spongebob. Mayor SpongeBob: Oh, you want to be a mayor like me? Well I don’t give a flapdoodle. Who are the other kids? “So much food…” said another kid known as Theodore. “Hmm, this food-loving dude is Theodore,” said Sierra. “I’m better referred to as Theo Mazing Cheese. So, where’s the food?” He asked. Please tell me this is the only bad pun that this spin-off has for me to deal with. “Theo, this is mayor Spongebob, and for god’s sake, you’ve eaten breakfast an hour ago,” said Jonah. Comedy gold. “That’s what you always say, so nice to meet you-“Theodore then looked at Spongebob. “Aha! A snack, I’m a lucky man!” Theo then started chasing Spongebob. Vore humor, that’s more “comedy gold” right there. “Wait, I’m not a snack, I’m a human being!” Spongebob exclaimed, That is a filthy lie. He’s not a human being either. I know you were fifteen at the time, author, but how can you make such a simple mistake as that? “The rest of you hurry up before he eats me.” Or…you know, you could tell the other six to get Theo to control himself. “Hey there, my name’s Jonah, because I want them too. Once again, what kind of sentence is that? NOW WHERE’S THE MONEY?!” She exclaimed. “I don’t know how this works out, but Eugene’s got the money, okay?” Spongebob replied. “So far, things are already getting out of hand,” he thought to himself. What is this conversation even about anymore? Isn’t this just supposed be Gakuto’s seven adopted and resurrected kids introducing themselves to the mayor? “Come back here, snack!” Theo exclaimed. “I’m Jason, in fact, I can do anything, I’m a reasonable guy,” Jason introduced. Jason: And even though I was reborn with the sin of Pride, I am also really bland. “Hello Jason, finally there’s at least someone who doesn’t have problems,” Spongebob replied. “You sir look like an alright guy Spongebob, I’m Sierra,” she introduced. I could’ve asked this question beforehand, but this is the point where I should do so. What kind of early teens child talks like this, let alone say to someone “You sir look like an alright guy.”? “Hello there Sierra, I can get used to these two,” Spongebob thought. “Who’s the last gal?” He then referred to Vivian. ”Come on Vivian, your cue’s up,” said Sierra. Don’t mind her, she’s just on her lunch break, which is what I should be on right about now. “Okay fine, my name’s Vivian, thank you and good-bye,” she introduced carelessly, and continued loafing. Top quality character introduction. “Now, this is how things will go, Sierra will lead, while the rest of you try to control yourselves, except Jason,” said Spongebob. “And it will all start as long as Theo stays away from me,” he added. Sierra held onto Theo, and told him, “uptight, everything’s alright Theo, there will be food.” That sentence is foreshadowing to one episode with a similar title, but I don’t know why we needed that Stevie Wonder reference. Perhaps Sierra is a fan. Spongebob then wished them good luck and the scene now looks blurry like an ending flashback, it fades into the seven pre-teens being shown in the forest. That transition ran off too fast that it beat Sonic the Hedgehog to Green Hill Zone. “I’m not sure if finding a legend can really pay off,” Mason thought. “I doubt he’ll ever pay us,” said Vivian. Nope, we’re still at it with the puns, but at least I was able to handle this one better than “Theo Mazing Cheese.” “Right now, we’re in the Kelp Forest, you all sure he’s here?” Sierra said. Because I know there are nineteen more episodes of this spin-off, I already doubt that. “I regret nothing, we would be damned for like forever if we don’t find him,” Rick replied. “No frets, my instincts tell me Gakuto can be anywhere, and this is the turning point,” said Jason. If this is what you call the turning point, then I say you’re still far behind. “Whatever, and hey look, a journal…” said Sierra, the seven kids found a journal in a coral stump and went close to it. That’s one way to hook the readers for the next episode. Thus, this was the beginning. The search for someone they cared about. Someone who cared for them dearly, I have my doubts about that last part. and indeed this man was...Gakuto. Again, do we need that pause? Is this character that important to warrant one? Of course, that is what the author wants me to think. To be continued... That was episode one. That wasn’t so bad, but still it’s got its fair share of writing problems. We got two seasons to get through, with the last one being shorter, while there’s nineteen more episodes altogether to go through. To wrap up this installment of CBC3, here's a little segment I'd like to call... RANDOM CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT OF THE EPISODE: FISH #1 AND FISH #2: What we know about them so far: They are born with these names. The first one would die for Mayor SpongeBob. The second one likes asking questions. Information I could add about them: One of their favorite pastimes is waiting outside Mayor SpongeBob's office until he seems them. Fish #1 has one too many pieces of Mayor SpongeBob memorabilia in his own room. Fish #2 was voted most likely to suck eggs in High School. Will we be seeing them again?: Doubtful
  16. 3 points
    93. Dead Spin-Off Writers Society Film: Dead Poets Society Webizoid, teenj12, Fa, 70s, tvguy, Sabre and Wumbo are senior students of the SBC Atlantis Academy, an elite prep school, whose ethos is defined by the headmaster terminoob as "tradition, honor, discipline, and excellence". Both Webby and teenj are under harsh parental pressure to become a doctor and a lawyer respectively, but teenj wants to be a writer, and Webby discovers a passion for acting. The teaching methods of their new English teacher, Mr. Clappy are unorthodox by Atlantis standards, whistling the 1812 Overture and taking them out of the classroom to focus on the idea of carpe diem. He tells the students that they may call him "O Claptain! My Claptain!," in reference to a Walt Whitman poem, if they feel daring. In another class, Clappy has Fa read the introduction to their poetry textbook, prescribing a mathematical formula to rate the quality of poetry which Clappy finds ridiculous, and he instructs his pupils to rip the introduction out of their books, to the amazement of one of his colleagues (JCM in a cameo). Later he has the students stand on his desk in order to look at the world in a different way. The boys discover that Clappy was a former student at Atlantis and decide to secretly revive the school's literary fanfiction club, the "Dead Spin-Off Writers Society," to which Clappy was a member of, meeting in a cave off of the school grounds. When the school administration and the parents (specifically Webby’s mother) gets wind of the secret club – something that is against regulations – the dean promises to suspend any student who is a member. Due to self-consciousness, teenj fails to complete a writing assignment and Clappy takes him through an exercise in self-expression, realizing the potential he possesses. 70s publishes an unauthorized article in the school newspaper, asserting that girls should be admitted to Atlantis. At the resulting school inquiry, he offers a phone call from God in support, incurring the headmaster's wrath. Mr. Clappy classes draw a lot of attention from the administration and the students' parents. After terminoob speaks with Clappy about how using his unorthodox teaching methods is dangerous to the boys, Clappy tells the boys to "be wise, not stupid" about protesting against the system. Fa meets and falls in love with a girl named NegiSpongie, using his new-found love of poetry to woo her. Negi is already dating Steel Sponge, a football player from a local public school whose family is friends with Fa’s. Fa presents one of these poems in class, and is applauded by Clappy for writing a heartfelt poem on love. Fa travels to Negi’s public school and recites his poem to her, later convincing her to go to a play with him. Webby wants to be an actor through Clappy's teaching methods but knows his mother will disapprove and Clappy will be blamed for it. Without his mother's knowledge, he auditions for the role of Banquo in a production of Macbeth. His mother finds out and orders Webby to withdraw. Webby asks Clappy for advice and is advised to talk to his mother to make her understand how he feels. But Webby cannot muster the courage to do so. Instead, he goes against his mother's wishes. His mother shows up at the end of the play and blamed Mr. Clappy for convincing Webby to participate in Macbeth. She takes Webby home and tells him that she intends to enroll him in a military school to prepare him for Harvard University, and a career in medicine, so that Webby is distanced from Mr. Clappy. Unable to cope with the future that awaits him or to make his mother understand his feeling and be reasonable, Webby commits suicide. Following her son’s suicide, Webby’s mom informs the headmaster terminoob to investigate Dead Spin-Off Writers Society's activities by reviewing their secret meetings to see who's responsible for Webby's apparently suicide and behind the secret group. tvguy blames Webby’s death on Clappy to escape punishment for his own participation in the Dead Spin-Off Writers Society, and names the other members. Confronted by 70s, tvguy urges the rest of them to let Clappy take the fall. 70s punches tvguy and is expelled. In the aftermath of Webby’s death, each of the boys are reported to terminoob's office for questions about the club which they'd organized without permission. terminoob forces teenj, Fa, Wumbo and Sabre that they (alongside 70s and tvguy) admit being members of the Dead Spin-Off Writers Society. He then makes them sign a document blaming their loyal teacher Mr. Clappy for encouraging Webby to defy his mother and convincing the boys to organize the Dead Spin-Off Writers Society. teenj sees that the others boys and Webby’s mother's signatures are already on the document, so he's the last one to sign the statement, and is threatened by his equally stern father Nuggets to sign it. Clappy is fired after terminoob finds out about the organization. The boys return to English class, now being taught by terminoob until a permanent English teacher come to replace Clappy during the winter break. He has the boys read the introductory essay only to find that they had all ripped it out. Clappy enters the room to retrieve a few belongings. teenj explains to Clappy that the boys were forced to confirm and signing the confession that Clappy is blamed for both Webby suicide and the society by headmaster terminoob. terminoob orders teenj to be quiet and repeats his demands that Clappy leave. As Clappy is about to exit, teenj for the first time breaks his reserve, calling out "O Claptain! My Claptain!” and stands on his desk. terminoob warns teenj to sit down or face expulsion. Much of the class, including Fa, Sabre, and Wumbo, climb onto their desks and look to Clappy, ignoring terminoob's orders and until he gives up. Touched by this gesture, Clappy proudly thanks the boys and departs.
  17. 2 points
    Hello everyone! Welcome back to the 14th Golden Community Awards. Your AMAZING and FANCY host sbl is back, live from Canada. We're onto the voting stage! ~ Now, maybe you're thinking: how do I vote? Well, it's pretty simple! All you have to do is send me your votes for each category. That can be done here or through Discord (my username is in my profile)! But do remember–you can only vote for ONE nominee per category! There is no deadline yet, but once there is, and once it is reached, the winners will subsequently be announced. ~ Voting Rules 1) As stated above, please PM/DM your votes to me via the contact method you choose. DO NOT post them in this thread. 2) You CANNOT vote for yourself in any category for which you are a nominee. This also applies to anything you have made in the Spin-Off/Literature categories. 3) You can only vote ONE nominee per category. 4) You must vote for at least ONE section. Therefore, you are welcome to skip a section or two (if you wish). But, it would be most appreciated if votes could be given in all of the categories, as we do have nominees for each! ~ Prizes Now, here's the fun stuff–if a nominee wins a GCA, they'll receive 1000 doubloons (per category), an exclusive winner badge, a GCA trophy for your iFish, and a graphics piece with your name and the corresponding category, which they are then free to place in their signature (or wherever they so desire)! EXCITING!!! ~ Nominees And now...I'm pleased to present–the GCA XIV Nominees! MEMBERS: Best Debater: Clappy Wumbo Jjs HawkbitAlpha Nuggets Funniest Member: Kev OMJ OWM Cha Katniss Spongiest Member: NegiSpongie President Squidward 4EverGreen WhoBob sbl Carotte Kindest Member: SOF Mythix Cha Katniss Patty Rose That Excited SpongeKid Most Competitive Member: dmandaman Fred Rechid Mythix DarknessDG RDSP Maturest Member: Jjs Cha Patty Rose Wumbo JCM Most Contributive Member: OMJ dmandaman JCM Steel Sponge President Squidward Most Creative Member: Patty Rose Aquatic Konquest Cha Katie OMJ President Squidward SPIN-OFFS & LITERATURE: Best Creation: OMJ’s Die-In Theater (OMJ) SBCinema (Clappy/jjs) JCMovies (JCM) Cherish (OMJ) SpongeBob SquarePants: Lost in Translation (Steel Sponge) Pirate Legends (jjs) Best Ended Creation: Community Deathmatch (OMJ) Interloopers Unite! (NegiSpongie) Underwater Survivor: SBC Style (Steel Sponge) Tyeam Universe (JCM) Skodwarde (OMJ) Best Episode: Guardians of the Community (SBCinema - Steel Sponge) JCM Goes on a Wild Kev Hunt (JCMovies - JCM) Complications (Cherish - OMJ) Pirate’s Life (Pirate Legends - jjs) The Inquisitor and the Duck (Duck Dodgers 40,000 - Renegade) Best Comedy: OMJ’s Die-In Theater (OMJ) JCMovies (JCM) Bikini Bottom Nature Watch (OWM) The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star (JCM) Battle for Bikini Bottom - A Nonsensical Parody (Aquatic Konquest) Best Storyline: Interloopers Unite! (NegiSpongie) Cherish (OMJ) Pirate Legends (jjs) Power Rangers: Multiverse Force (Renegade, 4EverGreen) A Dead Eye for a Dead Eye (OMJ) Best Setting: Interloopers Unite! (NegiSpongie) Pirate Legends (jjs) Total Cartoon Island Strikes Back (4EverGreen) Power Rangers: Multiverse Force (Renegade, 4EverGreen) Battle for Bikini Bottom - A Nonsensical Parody (Aquatic Konquest) Best Protagonist: Cherish (Cherish - OMJ) Wally (Interloopers Unite! - NegiSpongie) Mack (Pirate Legends - jjs) Daffy Duck (Duck Dodgers 40,000 - Renegade) JCM (JCMovies - JCM) Wendy (Misadventures of Casper and Wendy - Appetizer) Best Antagonist: Dr. Maniac (Power Rangers: Multiverse Force - Renegade, 4EverGreen) Bedossa (Pirate Legends - jjs) Plankton (Battle for Bikini Bottom - A Nonsensical Parody - Aquatic) MCJ (JCMovies - JCM) Udon (Sub-Tropical Academy - Steel) The Swarmlord (Duck Dodgers 40,000 - Renegade) HALL OF FAME: Honorary Creator: NegiSpongie Renegade the Unicorn Nuggets Mythix Honorary Creation: Total Cartoon (4EverGreen) The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star (JCM) Miss Appear (Teenj12) Honorary Staff Member: Fred Teenj12 OMJ 70s Honorary Member: Katniss Omair Mythix OMJ dmandaman Katie ~ Once again–don't be in such a rush! There is no deadline as of yet to submit your votes, so please, take your time...until a deadline is set! Now, get to voting!
  18. 2 points
    Ben Mankiewicz: Hello and welcome to Night 2 of our 3-part "Jjs' Riffing Rampage" special event. Last night's feature gave us a brief, but unflattering look into the goings-on of California law enforcement at the time. In fact, it was after the premiere aired that state police officials would instill an addendum to their recruitment process, barring anybody with a history of participating in the SpongeBob fandom in any way, shape or form from ever joining the force in any capacity. An unspoken rule that is still in effect to this day, almost a full decade later. Tonight, we unceremoniously depart from the glitz and glamour of what we can only assume to be Hollywood and we officially touch down in the Great White North to see just how better they have things up there. Jjs, proving himself to be the pioneer we all know him as even at such a young age, decided to go the anthology route years before the likes of American Crime Story and True Detective even hit the airwaves in a ballsy move that was intended to parody the likes of CSI: New York and CSI: Miami. This time, we follow another pair of officers who are cold on the trail of another murderer and they're only getting colder in a country that isn't known for being anything else but. Different location, same story, you know the drill with these police procedurals. Originally posted on November 21, 2010, this is "Canadian Plead". OMJ: You might remember him as the mascot for Twinkies; JJSTHEKID! Jjs: Honored to be back for the second, Jenks, though my time as the Twinkies mascot is not one I like to reminisce on. After the amazing ratings of “The California Crazyman”, I naturally continued CSI: SBC for another chapter. They gave us a slight budget increase for this one, since in this one we got to film in Canada, although in hindsight we may have blown the budget a bit too much in this one as you’re about to see. OMJ: And who says it’s cheaper to film in Canada! 2. Canadian Plead: OMJ: No, "Canadian Plead" is NOT a character in this episode. It's just the episode title! Jjs: Fun fact: This title was based on the song “Canadian Please” which someone linked to on Xat in 2010. This is about as relevant as this entire lit. Officer Hassan Bajwa was driving his police car. He was Canada's #1 Crime Solver. OMJ: Only two lines in and we are already firmly planted right up Hassan's ass. I'm starting to have some SBC*holds nose*PU flashbacks. Jjs: I had the weirdest boner for Hassan in my works around this time despite his overall minimal impact in SBC history. I was really trying to turn him into that fan favorite character, and I was going to shove him down your throats whether you liked it or not. I’d say the results were successful. He had gotten word that a murder had happened in Ontario. He got a call from the new Officer, Officer Jenny, who says," HEY HASSAN! SPONGEBOB IS SEXY, NOW GET TO THE CRIME SCENE, HANDSOME." OMJ: Where the hell was this Officer Jenny in Pokemon? Brock could've actually gotten lucky with this one. Jjs: I honestly straight up don’t remember which SBC user she was based on at all. And if I can’t remember something SBC related, you know this character is a true bonafide enigma. I look forward to her character arc, trust me when I say I feel it’ll be quite inspiring. Hassan hangs up and says," This will be one tough recruit to train.." OMJ: How'd she even make it through the academy with all the casual attempts at what 2010 considered to be flirt- ohh, I think I see how now. Jjs: Looks like the Ontario Police Department had some rough cuts too. He arrives at the scene and finds the dead body of a man named Kan Two Shoes. OMJ: Now that's a name and a show reference that I do know! Jjs: RIP SOF. This lit really held no punches back when it came to killing off your favorite SBC users. Some real Game of Thrones level shit up in here. His Histeria! shirt is covered in blood. OMJ: Niiice. The Histeria! shirt, I mean. I loved that show. Sucks that blood just had to get on it. Jjs: What, was he also wearing a Phineas & Ferb hat while you’re listing off his favorite shows? He examines it. Officer Jenny says," HANDSOME, I FOUND A CLUE. IT'S A JIMMY TWO SHOES LUNCHBOX." OMJ: Jenny. Jenna. What's up with these Jen's joining the site back then and being dangerously thirsty? Jjs: Stained in blood too, I assume. "Wonderful, except that won't help us. " said an obviously annoyed Hassan. OMJ: You could, like, scan it for DNA yo. Jjs: Viewers had some issues with Hassan’s downer vibe here, but I think it’s justifiable to an extent when you know what happened behind the scenes. According to unverified rumors, the Ontario Police Department donated some of their budget for this episode’s production, which made them lose their access to DNA analysis for this case. Pretty dick move on our part, but in fairness, Sherlock over here is “Canada’s #1 Crime Solver” so I doubt he even needed it. He bumps into A Man named Dylan (Note: Not the Dylan from California) OMJ: Duly noted. Jjs: This Dylan is tvfan95. Just wanted to clarify that to the audience now so you’re not having strokes. The fact I had to use two Dylan’s in a row shows how much my creative juices were flowing, boy did I use that budget well. and he says," Hey Officer Hassan who will never be as awesome as me." OMJ: The profound dialogue and character interaction on display here is already giving the masterclass that is "The California Crazyman" a run for its doubloons. Jjs: Trying to do a dick measuring contest with an officer is certainly one unique way to get a ticket. Hassan says," Thanks. Do you know about the murder of Kan Two Shoes?" OMJ: Well, why don't you just let him spank you and call him daddy? Jjs: I’m sure it’s international news by now given SOF’s a celebrity. Dylan says," Murder?" Hassan groans and walks away. OMJ: What symbolism! It's almost as if you're using Hassan to represent the general consensus towards this lit!. Jjs: Wow, not even in Harry Potter do you see such masterful subtly. Hassan’s groan was also a nice use of onomatopoeia. He then visits his friend Eric's house. He walks in and sees Eric on his laptop, typing on SBC. OMJ: One of the few instances in the SBC Lit genre where the SBC site actually exists and isn't just presented to the reader as some "real life" location or cityscape that the members just all so happen to live in. Trés avant garde. Perhaps Down Under was onto something, maybe we all truly will never be as awesome as Dylan. Jjs: What I got out of this reveal is that SOF is never logging into SBC again in this timeline. That’s sad as fuck. He says," Hey Wumbology." Eric says," This isn't SBC, you can call me Eric." OMJ: Easy there, Fido, you only just met. Jjs: How about we compromise and chop your name down to just Wumbo. Hassan says," Know anything about the murder of Kan Two Shoes?" Jjs: Is this his catchphrase? Even without the context of the murder, does he ask that question to everything in life? "Dude, you have known me for a long time. Why would I do that?" said Eric. OMJ: Way to cast immediate doubt and suspicion onto yourself. Jjs: I feel like Wumbo of all people should have a more serious reaction to SOF’s death than this, but I guess I didn’t have the budget for his own Shakespearean internal monologue, understandable though when you see the sheer attempt of unique, artisan dialogue in this chapter. Hassan says," Sorry, just too suspicous." OMJ: Don't apologize! This is official police bsns! Do you see Cole Phelps apologizing in L.A. Noire when he's sweating people? Jjs: Fans have speculated Hassan’s misspelling of “suspicious” was a deliberate attempt to play a mind game with Wumbo, although as the author I cannot confirm or deny this. Officer Jenny is waiting outside. She says," ANY LUCK YET HANDSOME." Hassan says," BE FUCKING QUIET! NOBODY GIVES A GOD DANG RATSHIT ABOUT YOUR DUR THIS IS SEXY COMMENTS!" OMJ: Something tells me this would've made for a prime Deathmatch back then. Jjs: “God dangit ratshit”? We’re really firing off the zingers, folks! Officer Jenny seems upset. She then decides to be quiet. He drives the car. He says," No luck.." OMJ: Well, you got her to be quiet. I'd say that's progress. Jjs: This was a true turning point for Jenny’s arc, having her darkest hour. But don’t worry, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for her. Just then, the Police Car gets a hole in a tire and the car goes flying into a grassy valley. OMJ: No! Anyone but my favorite character the Police Car! Jjs: First SOF, and now the Police Car. This murderer is even more of a diabolical antagonist than Alec, which I know sounds unbelievable, but wait until you see their motivation, believe me, it’s wild. Hassan groans and breaks the door off. Hassan: Time to fire my agent. OMJ: Said agent would, in fact, go on to land him his famous SBC*holds nose*PU role. Only then was he fired. Jjs: When this case is over, he’ll be paying for this poor police car’s repairs. He is hurt. A sharp metal piece is hanging above him. He says," Jenny, Help.." She doesn't respond. OMJ: It could be worse. I mean, it could be a sharp metal snake hanging above him. Jjs: Damn, she’s really committed to being quiet. Hassan is in panic and says," I'm sorry, but it is the truth! Your sexy comments get annoying and this time I need help or the Killer will kill everyone in Ontario!" OMJ: No! Anywhere but my favorite province Ontario! Jjs: I like how he called them “sexy comments”, not y’know “sex comments” or “creepy flirting”, implying he might have a hidden hard on for her comments. He probably just wants to remain professional while on duty, I see you Hassan. Jenny says," YES, SIR!" She kicks the Sharp metal piece. OMJ: Okay, these random ass capitalizations are just starting to really piss me off. Jjs: We got a little experimental with the budget and made the metal piece so sharp we had to make it clear as possible. Just then, Dylan appears. OMJ: Quick, use a pinap berry on em! Jjs: I’m glad my carefully planted subtle clue from earlier culminated into this grand entrance. It’s too bad Wumbo couldn’t join us for this chapter cast reunion though. Dylan laughs and says," It was me! I threw a Tic tac at the tire, causing it to crash." OMJ: Boy, their breath must've been thermonuclear. Jjs: Wow, this brilliant man used a tic tac, just one, to make an entire police car tip over. That is one OP ass tic tac. We need to study and mass produce it because those would make good ammo for the protests. Hassan, still bleeding a bit, Jjs: I think it’d be more than a “bit” but considering I portrayed Hassan as Canadian Jesus in my works, he probably did walk that crash off like it was nothing. Keanu Reeves got nothing on him. attacks him. He says," Why did you do it?!" OMJ: There's some very inspired shades of Christian Bale here in this career defining performance. Jjs: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!? Dylan laughs and says," I am the oldest member on tv.com and nobody respects me for it! OMJ: If we're speaking in terms of age, then wow is this pretty funny in hindsight considering how Dylan's true age would come to light like the very next year. If we're speaking in terms of tenure, then I would think SpongeSebastian has you beat on that front, buddy. He was even on TV Tome from what I recall. If the term OG were to apply to anybody here, it'd be Seb. Jjs: Time for some clarity so the audience knows what the fuck is going on: tvfan95 was known to be kind of a pompous egotistical dick who demanded respect. There’s your SBC lore of the day again from JjsFiloni. Nobody respects me for making the most awesome spin-off either! OMJ: HOOO BOY!!! Jjs: Spongebob n’ Friends truly was the second coming of Christ with its vivid, beautiful one-sentence synopses. I’d be pretty pissed too if people weren’t kissing my ass 24/7 for that work. So, I had to get rid of an olden member, Kan." OMJ: Damn those oldens and their better personalities! Jjs: Or he just killed the first SBC member he could find in Canada. But seriously, this fuckin’ guy killed SOF, a Canadian icon, and a police car, because he didn’t get enough respect. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m terrified as fuck now. You better respect your damn elders or he’ll be offing more Canadian icons and cars snap, like that. Rumor has it even Thanos is terrified of tvfan95, and that’s when you know it’s the real deal. Both of my culprits so far have had real galaxy brain motivations that us mortals cannot comprehend or fully understand. It’s rumored that these complex, deep motivations were what led to this literature’s cancellation, which is understandable because the power of them was simply too much for the SBC network. Hassan punches him and he goes flying into the car. He groans and falls to the ground. Hassan arrests him. OMJ: jjs, what sort of rigorous training did you have these two undertake in order to bring such an exhilarating fight scene to life? Jjs: If you analyze this scene closely, you can see shades of unique fighting techniques from John Wick. In fact, rumor has it that 13 year old jjs was the true inventor of John Wick franchise. I showed my Hassan fight scene to Keanu Reeves, asking if he’d like to play this guy, and he busted a nut in utter shock at the might Hassan brought. He asked if he could play Hassan in a movie and I gave him my blessing. But he ran into an issue, Hassan was so good, that he couldn’t even play him! They had to make a new character altogether, which I respected the decision behind. You heard it here first, Hassan was the original John Wick, and he is the only person in the world Keanu Reeves is said to fear. Jenny says," LISTEN UP, YOU PILE OF SCUM. GET OUT OF CANADA NOW." OMJ: DEPORTED! Jjs: I’m sure other countries will kindly take him in after murdering every Canadian’s favorite celebrity SOF. Hassan says," You are no longer a rookie, Jenny!" Jenny says," YAY!!" OMJ: These standards that Canada had for their law enforcement legit frightens me. I hope it's been reformed sometime during the last decade. Jjs: For she’s a jolly good rookie, for she’s a jolly good rookie! I told you guys this would be inspiring, and man did it deliver! Creepily flirting with your fellow officer is okay if it culminates into yelling at a murderer to get out of the country. I was pretty proud of how her arc came out here. Notes/Trivia/Goofs Jjs: If the “Goofs” is referring to goofy goobers, then this chapter was loaded with them. Location: Canada, Ontario. Jjs: Ontario seceded too!? Character Debuts: Dylan (Canadian), OMJ: Wait, so he can't be DEPORTED? Don't go dumping your you bad apples on us, Canada! Jjs: With his brain power, I feel like the Canadian government might try to find a use for him and his magic tic tacs. Eric, Hassan, Jenny, Kan Jjs: All of whom will also not be seen again. Shame, I really would’ve loved to see a follow-up on Wumbo’s character arc, I felt it had the most potential. Culprit: Dylan (Canadian) OMJ: And that's it, episode two in the books! True Detective it most definitely is not, and the standard set by that masterful first episode certainly is a bar that casts a large shadow over the rest of the show as a whole. Jjs: As we delve further into my twisted 13 year old mind, you can see this lit takes not only the most compelling elements from Shakespeare, but Homer, Poe, Twain, George RR Martin, and even Dickens. Unfortunately, this high literary quality could not last, because this got cancelled after the third chapter due to overblowing our budget and a massive dip in views after this chapter, which you can’t blame them because how could this lit have topped this? Let’s hope my 13 year old self brought us a hell of ride to end this. You know what they say, three strikes and you’re out, so let’s hope it’s the home run, which it probably isn’t. #DefundtheSBCPolice! OMJ: Will the last episode find a formula to break out into its own glory? Stay posted with us here at the Die-In as Jjs' Riffing Rampage continues! Byeee!
  19. 2 points
    Ben Mankiewicz: Hello, and thank you for taking the time out of your Thanksgiving to visit the Die-In for a very special three-part event presented by TCM and Fathom Events that the old man would like to call; "Jjs' Riffing Rampage". I'm Ben Mankiewicz, and I'll be your host for this touching holiday tribute to the great riffing innovator. Often seen as the Steve Martin to OMJ's John Candy, or vice versa, there's your one Thanksgiving-related reference to celebrate the occasion, jjsthekid has entertained the members of the SpongeBob Community for a decade, producing such hits as "Storm Racers", "Mystic Guardians", "SBC Parallel Universe"and let us not forget the forgotten gem that was "Kurtis Killers". One of jjs' most experimental offerings to date, "Kurtis Killers", saw him giving Bill Kurtis the rights to a new crime documentary. In it, Bill would expose the most secrets of known killers and some you may not know about. Those were literally his words then and not mine. Just find the thread and you'll see for yourself. However, months before "Kurtis Killers" premiered in May 2011, jjs launched another experimental crime thriller in the form of a police procedural parody known as "CSI: SBC". One of the the first SBC Lits in recorded history, "CSI: SBC" involves the adventures of SBC users solving crimes. During the time of this lit's run, tvguy was often seen as the "God of Crime Fiction", a self-proclaimed title that jjs obviously didn't take too kindly to and, in fact, hoped to take for himself with the premiere of this sure fire hit. We'll let you be the judge, jury and executioner of whether or not he managed to win that title at the conclusion of tonight's special feature. Jjs' first foray into crime takes us to the Golden State of California. A murderer is on the loose, and there are only so many California based members to rule as suspects. Two officers are cold on the trail and only getting colder. Will you be able to figure out the mystery before they do? Chances are, you just might. Originally posted on November 20, 2010, this is the pilot episode of jjsthekid's "CSI: SBC" titled; "The California Crazyman". CSI: SBC Season 1 OMJ: Ladies and gentlemen, you know him as Bobby Bacala on The Sopranos; JJSTHEKID!!! Jjs: Yep, the creator of Riffing Theater 3000 is back in action, this time with another lulzy work from a decade (!) ago. Long long ago, in a state, far far away, lived a young jjs, whose parents loved CSI shows. They made me love CSI shows, too! Years later, to tap into that childhood nostalgia, I decided to do my own SBC version of CSI. Then I lost interest in this very fast and it was never to be heard from again. I, uh, really jumped the gun a bit with that "Season 1" label. I also tried selling this off to a few users at several points in time, but none of them wanted to continue this either. And I don't blame 'em. Episode 1: The California Crazyman OMJ: How dare you, 2010!jjs, assume the California Crazyperson's gender! What a product of its time. Jjs: Cancelled already, only a title in. You know what they say about first impressions, folks! Officer Dalton was walking his way, patrolling the streets. OMJ: Jjs: Dalton walks warily down the street, with the brim pulled way down low! He then heard a bloodcurdling shriek. OMJ: Sounds like somebody's having a good time. Jjs: Man, I sure knew how to really hook the audience. That loud ass shriek definitely glued asses into seats, that's for sure. He turned on his flashlight and walked along. OMJ: The boulevard of broken dreams? Jjs: Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet, machine guns ready to go! He came to a street lamp and saw a dead body of a girl hanging from it. OMJ: Hehe, it sounds like he jerked off to a street lamp and only just noticed the body after he finished. Jjs: WEE WOO WEE WOO! The next day, many other officers arrive. OMJ: The next day?! I would hope within the next half hour at the most! Jjs: If nothing else, gotta give myself a pat on the back for the accurate portrayal of the police. And this was written 10 years ago! Officer Dylan says," She was stabbed in the chest and hung. We have one sick bitch on our hands." OMJ: Hey, that's no way to speak of the mentally ill! No wonder this got cancelled. Jjs: You're right Scoob, we're dealing with one sick son of a bitch! Officer Dalton and Dylan patrolled the area. OMJ: In risk of making an ass out of u and me, I am led to assume that Tango & Cash here are supposed to be tvguy and some other member whose name escapes me? Jjs: Dalton is supposed to be Steel, and Dylan is indeed supposed to be tvman. When originally making this, I had planned for every SBC officer to use their irl names to make it more authentic. Which in retrospect was kinda creepy and rude of me to do that without people's consent. The only clue they found was a letter in her dead body, OMJ: I sure hope it was laminated. Jjs: Damn, even the postal service here is whack. and it said: "Hello Officers Dylan and Dalton, by now you have found the dead body of Jasmine." OMJ: Ooh, let me guess! DOOGLE?! Jjs: I think Jasmine was also supposed to be an SBC user from around this time, but fuck all if I could remember who it was. "Too bad you have no idea who I am or what my intentions are. Enough said, True Believers!" OMJ: I don't know what to find funnier, the obvious red herring attempt or the fact that 4EG probably would actually give himself away like that. Jjs: Not 4Ever enough, where's the emoticons? Dylan says," Jason Cantu! That bastard did it!" OMJ: Reminds me of those flushable wipes with the frog that wipes its own ass as the mascot. Jjs: Again, using his name was kinda shitty on my part, so legit apologies to 4Ever. I do like how so close-knit this area of California is that the officers can immediately tell who wrote a letter from their quirks. Dalton says," Well, where does he live?" Jjs: Use the SBC Member Map. "Uh.." Dylan replies. Dalton says," Now we have hit a brick wall." OMJ: Please don't let our commentary breaks fool you, THIS is how this entire lit is structured the whole way through. Jjs: They don't have the ability to find his location despite knowing his full name? Looks like the SBC police got defunded too. A man named Alec passes by and says," Hey guys." OMJ: Let's give a quick shout out to Sir Alec Guiness! Jjs: Could also be Alec Baldwin. Dylan says," Hey Alec. Jjs: I also like how in this close-knit community, officers and civilians strike up casual conversation. Now we to find out who the fucker is that murdered Ja-" Alec says," Can you please not curse? Thanks." OMJ: I can't think of a curse word that starts with a "Ja". Slurs maybe, but not curses. Jjs: Ah, I remember now. "Alec" was supposed to be The Cartoon and I was satirizing an incident where he left the site due to our cursing. There's your SBC lore of the day from JjsFiloni! The 2 Officers walked along. OMJ: Did you re-use the same backgrounds for all these walk cycles? Jjs: Yeah, there's only so much the Die-In Theater can pay to use my Queen song lyrics! They then saw Jason Cantu coming out of a Grocery Store. OMJ: God damn that Grocery Store Inc. These corporate asshats pushing all the moms and pops out of business and shit. Jjs: Hoping this Grocery Store is the first to go in the eventual riots. Dalton walks up to him and says," Alright, listen you fucking bastard. Why did you mur-" Dylan says, OMJ: There's no need to shame him for his illegitimacy. Come on, he can't help it. Jjs: Damn, look at me trying to make Steel a badass. You know what they say about balls of steel. " I want to be the bad cop!" Dalton says, " Fine." OMJ: How about you graduate from the grammar police academy first, kid. The three-second rule applies to cars, not sentences. The space between that first quotation mark and 'I' is like double that. Jjs: That's okay, you're both bad cops. *drum snare* Dylan says," Alright, listen up you fucking Art drawing pedophile! OMJ: Jesus! Who's Art now?! Jjs: If this is Dylan's audition for the LAPD, then he'd fit in great with these quick accusations. We know you murdered Jasmine and hung her body, you fucking sicko." Jason says," Boys, boys! OMJ: Not what you wanna say when somebody accuses you of being a pedophile. Jjs: Also not something to say to a murder accusation neither, unless you're Foghorn Leghorn. I don't know what your talking about.." Dylan looks into an alley and sees a shady figure. Dylan gets grabbed by the figure. Dylan screams. OMJ: Uhhh, how far and away was this alley? I just figured they stopped him near the entrance of the store. Jjs: Wow folks, even the culprit got tired of their incompetence and had to hold their hands like a twisted puppet master to move the plot along. What does that tell you? Dalton says," Dylan!" He goes into the alley and sees the shady figure jump up on the roof. OMJ: He jumped to the roof of god knows what AND with Dylan still in tow? I sure hope you boys brought the big guns. Jjs: I always knew those bouncy shoes would come in handy someday, or maybe this guy's a ninja, or both. Dalton climbs up the building. He says," Ugh, this is a pain in the ass.." OMJ: It's called having good cardio, officer. You should already have it. They just give anybody a badge in California. Jjs: They'll take in anyone after the defunding. He finally reaches the top and sees Alec about to throw Dylan off the roof! OMJ: oh no, such a terrible loss of life that's about to happen. anyone but the endearing fan favorite, please. Jjs: Holy shit folks, the only other character seen in this chapter was the culprit! I knew something was suspicious about him wanting to strike up casual conversation with the police, sneaky fuck. Dalton pulls out his gun and says," You! Freeze, fucker!" OMJ: Ah yes, there it is. #6 on the SpongeBob Community Spin-Off/Lit Institute's "10 Years...10 Literature Quotes" list. What inspired you, jjs, to write such an iconic line? Jjs: I probably wanted Steel to be a badass here, given his 10/10 attempt to be the "bad cop" earlier. Alec says," Fine, it was me. Jjs: I sorta think Officer Steel over there already figured it out given the "You! Freeze, fucker!", but I also don't blame Alec Baldwin over here for having to spell it out for 'em neither. I want to make this state a better place. OMJ: When in doubt, hang 'em out! Jjs: You could be running for office or protesting or fuck, probably anything else, but instead you choose to murder this one girl in your holy journey to make the state better. That sent a message alright, and also the cops up your ass, so real nice job. Don't worry folks, his motivation gets even more galaxy brain. You see..I was tired. This poor girl had been bullied at school and I had to destroy her from earth. OMJ: Ah yes, the infamous motivation that drove Alec straight to his #4 rank on the SpongeBob Community Spin-Off/Lit Institute's "10 Years...10 Villains" list. Jjs, you Thomas Harris-lite motherfucker you, I think I speak for all of us here at the Drive-In when I ask...just how? Where did you possibly get such a brilliant idea, at such a young age, for such an inspired villainous backstory? I mean, to "destroy her from the earth" just for being bullied at school? How could one conceive something so horrible, yet so relatable that it's frightening? This is a commentary that, quite frankly, flew over the heads of many critics at the time, if I do say so myself. Jjs: Wow, Alec must be on a whole other plane of existence to think that idea was "genius". Our plebeian brains can't fucking compare, man. But seriously, I don't have a fucking clue what I was on with this. So he was sick of the girl being bullied, and he put her out of her misery? Not just that, but "destroying her from Earth" like he just fucking vanquished Satan himself. Either I was trying to have a truly deep, sympathetic motivation that ended up being more "this guy belongs in an asylum" than anything, or I was mostly winging this as a shitpost. Probably the latter. I also wrote that letter to throw you off track with Jason's quote." OMJ: And just when I thought this thing couldn't get more ingenious, you go and pull that one over all our heads. This is a twist that the likes of Shyamalan could never even dream of making work so seamlessly. It takes a very careful hand and a very talented, prodigious writer to telegraph that with such twisting precision! I can see the roots of many a SBC literature all being traced back to this one episode, jjs. Jjs: I'm glad it threw them off track so much that you had to stop their interrogation by kidnapping Dylan, which ended up leading them to you. If you take away nothing else from this lit, remember the galaxy brain power of Alec. Somehow, Dylan escaped his grasp, Jjs: Somehow...Palpatine returned. and yelled," YOUR FUCKING INSANE!" as he shot him with his gun in the temple. OMJ: Hey, he told you that in confidence, officer. Jjs: Thanks for the clarification, I thought he shot him with his dick instead of his gun. Alec fell off the roof, laying hurt on the car. OMJ: I think being shot in the head, falling off a building and landing on a pretty rough surface would leave him more than just "hurt" Jjs: Given this man's incredible galaxy brain power, I'm sure that mortal bullet was only a scratch to his mere might. Dalton says," Good Job, Officer." OMJ: Not killing a man in the most lethal way possible really is something to be admired. Jjs: Good job officer, we had our first successful case in lord knows how long, maybe the public will like us again! His body is seen going into an ambulance and 2 police cars follow. Jason then says," Enough Said, True Believers!" OMJ: But we never found out who Art is! Jjs: Was 4Ever watching all of that while it went down? Is this how he gets his sick kicks!? Notes/Trivia/Goofs Jjs: Ya dun goofed, kid. Each State or Country will have different officers in it. OMJ: As it is in real life, yes. Jjs: I'm actually glad for the clarification, because based on the department's amazing competence in just the first chapter, I was kinda worried if they even had the resources for international officers and that we'd be stuck with those two goofy goobers for the whole ride. Character Debuts: Officer Dalton, Officer Dylan, Alec, Jasmine, Jason OMJ: All of whom I'm guessing we won't see again if that last note was anything to go by. Jjs: I don't know if I'd count Jasmine as a "debut". Culprit: Alec OMJ: I was just about to say, what's the point of adding "Goofs" in there if there's never any goofs? I can recall not one single goof in these tv.com round-up shits, but for once we finally got one courtesy of this Drive-In exclusive because way to spoil the twist if somebody just were to catch sight of that while skimming down first. Remember, theater goers, spoiler tags are our friends! They never mean you any harm. They can be a little overprotective, sure, but it's all for your benefit and mine. I should know, I got spoiled before right before we started! Jjs: That's okay, I'm pretty sure nobody was that invested in this to be miffed by spoilers. Location: United States, California Jjs: California is a country now!? Damn, I guess Calexit did happen in this timeline. OMJ: And that, beautiful friends, was the pilot episode for CSI: SBC. I never fucked with the CSI franchise beforehand, and I never plan on fucking with it ever. I'd like to thank our very first collaborator, jjsthekid, for helping us make this retrospective possible Jjs: I'm glad to be along for this short, crazy ride, Jenks. This was true Avant-garde shit right here with some real deep Shakespearean character motivations. All I can say to close this out is: #DefundtheSBCPolice! OMJ:. We'll both be back right here live on location at the historic Drive-In Theater to cover what's left of this series, so make sure to reserve a stall and watch along with us! Bye! We'll see you tomorrow!
  20. 2 points
    UR SB AND THAT GUY WHO LIKES THE CHILI.
  21. 2 points
    i need every SBC boomer to post in this thread, and if no one does i will be be bumping it every month until you assholes post in here. i miss yall. wheres clappy? wumbo? spongeseb? kizuna? aquatic nuggets? FORUMOTION GANG GANG? god forbid i say tv.com. where tf whaleblubber at? i know where jjs is i talk that motherfucker like tonight. SOF also. yall heard jelly got married and had a kid? shit craaaaazy. what people called shitposting now was spamming back in the day and i did a shit ton of it. CDCB? you there? i'm schizofrenic in this bitch. post in here so i dont feel like an asshole. and if this thread devolves into 12 pages of me saying "BOOMER CHECK" by myself i still love all of you. but also fuck you
  22. 2 points
    I will not rest until Scooter returns on SB, and thus, my boycott is still imminent. We the people have suffered long enough!
  23. 2 points
    Members: Best Debater: @Clappy @Wumbo Funniest Member: @Katniss @Cha @Patty Rose @HawkbitAlpha Spongiest Member: @NegiSpongie @President Squidward Most Competitive Member: @dmandagiraffe @magic the veemon Most Mature Member: @jjs @JCM Most Creative Member: @Local @Cha @JCM Hall of Fame: Honorary Creator: @NegiSponge @Aquatic Nuggets Honorary Staff Award: 70s & Fred Honorary Member: Katniss and Katie, cause those two deserved to get this award imo.
  24. 2 points
  25. 2 points
    Not really a big baseball fan, I find it kinda boring, but the New York Mets for giving us this godly song:
  26. 2 points
    To celebrate the movie's international Netflix release, we will be streaming the movie on Discord using GoLive on November 6th at 7pm EST! Be sure to join us tomorrow if interested!
  27. 2 points
    I've added 30 new games to the Games page, with alternating red and green colors for Christmas/winter themed games. There's just under two months to play these games before the death of Flash, so make sure you get on those as soon as possible if there's a few you're just dying to play. In addition, the new SpongeBob movie will be streamed on Discord tonight at 7 PM EST, so make sure to join us for that!
  28. 2 points
    After a terrifying gauntlet of events, the Krusty Krew (Kreepy Krabs) win Octerror Fest 2020 14-6-4! This is their 3rd win of the year. Better luck next time, Chum Buddies. Here's who had the most wins: Krew: 1.) Dman with 11 wins (MVP!) 2.) RDSP with 2 wins Buddies: 1.) Fred with 4 wins (MVP!) Solos: 1.) Negi with 2 wins (MVP!) I'll see the teams at Snowcember Ball 2020 for the last Major League event of the year! Reminder that if you wanna join the Krew or Buddies, just sign up here, as they have plenty of seats open. Happy Halloween to all!
  29. 1 point
    SBC members! The nomination process is over. Results are being tabulated and main voting will begin soon. Stay tuned!
  30. 1 point
    To help get some festivity going heading into this latest iteration of Octerror Fest, I'm gonna be taking a look back at one of my older series and I'll be providing some good ol' fashioned commentary. Riff where needs riffing, critique where needs critiquing, and offer some "behind the scenes" insight where needs insighting. I hope you'll join me for the ride on this, admittedly quite brief, trip through memory lane. And if you weren't around during its time, then hopefully you'll get something of a kick out of it. Here to help me introduce tonight's Die-In feature, why, it's none other than TCM's very own Ben Mankiewicz! Ben Mankiewicz: Hello, I'm Ben Mankiewicz, and you're watching OMJ's Die-In Theater, where we look to observe and dissect one of the old man's more surreal tales of terror. OMJ's first foray into the horror genre was in the middle of 2012, with his release of the still sorta fondly looked back on, "The Killer Krab". Now this spinoff would come at a pretty "make or break" time for the SpongeBob Community, having recently come fresh off the release of V8 Orca, which had released right after a posting drought had the entire forum in a death grip. In the "The Killer Krab", Eugene H. Krabs, sole proprietor of the Krusty Krab if you didn't already know, went on a not-so discrete killing spree, murdering those who he deemed to be threats to his business. Everyone was fair game, he killed his only cashier, his star fry cook, his business rival, and he even went so far as to kill his own mother and daughter. It had a "victim-of-the-week" sort of structure, where each episode delved into a different victim or victims all while building up the main overarching plot between Krabs and SpongeBob. Aside from that, the spinoff also contained a gratuitous amount of playful callbacks and references to the original series that it was spun off from. Some thought it became a detriment after a while, some thought it made for some good black comedy for its time. This would be the crux for all 15 episodes, by the way, with one other episode airing as part of a proposed second season that would ultimately never see the light of day. Fast forward a couple months later following "The Killer Krab's" conclusion to March 2013, when OMJ would post a strikingly similar piece of work, but this time, not based on the SpongeBob IP. This particular literature came somewhat during a time of transition for the old man; the acclaimed "S(lums)BU" was nearing its premature end on April Fools and just a few weeks later, "Community Deathmatch" would be unleashed upon the Spin-Off/Lit section. This lit became critically lauded during its time, being seen as a better executed and more realized product of "The Killer Krab" formula. Audiences everywhere never thought that they'd ever feel so attached to an inanimate object this side of "The Brave Little Toaster". Industry veteran, Steel Sponge, even gave it a positive review in one of the only official reviews of OMJ's work on the Reviews thread. Tonight, you're about to dive into a tale that takes place in a world between real and fantasy, one that also happens to be right next to a paperback copy of Corduroy the bear. You are about to witness the beginning of the trials and tribulations of a bar of soap, just one talking household item in a mad house chock full of 'em. This particular bar of soap bears witness to one tragic event after another, feeling completely powerless to do anything about any of it until he finally has all he could stands and can't stands no more. Before we begin, OMJ wanted me to strongly emphasize that "no household objects were harmed during the making of this lit". From 2013, based on the popular 90s children's series, "Blue's Clues", this is Old Man Jenkins' "Slippery Smooth". Plot: The trials and tribulations of a bar of soap. Short, sweet and to the point. Nowadays, I'll probably be having this one, single sentence stretched out across two or three whole paragraphs! First Night Ahh, the diaper days when I would put just one space between the plot and the first chapter title. After a long, hard, exhausting day of playing Blues Clues, Could've done without the "hard". Or "long". Hell, why not both. Steve decided to unwind by taking a nice, warm, relaxing dip in his bath tub. Mmm, steamy... Steve: I am going to take a bath, because its really fun! 2013!OMJ, you were better than this, mang. It's! It's really fun! Steve sang to himself as he trotted into the bathroom wearing his green striped bath robe. Steve: Hey, Slip! Yeah. He totally called him that. Slippery slid on in from God knows where. Jeez, I said that as if we weren't already IN the bathroom. Slippery's home turf! Slippery: Hey Steve! I warmed it up for you. This reference does not compute! Steve looked around the bathroom as if he was looking for something before staring off into the distance and began to consult his "friends". Steve: Do you see anything in here that I can use to better clean myself? Slippery just bubbled in his own soap residue, still baffled as to who exactly Steve is actually talking. Ironic where in a world with living, breathing household items, the idea of this one guy talking to people that aren't there is seen as just a bit too crazy. Steve: Over there? Steve asked, pointing at a toothbrush. Spoiler alert, the toothbrush survives. Barely. Steve: No? Could it be that? Steve asked again, pointing at the toilet paper. Now a chapter revolving around this right here would just write itself. Talking about some Flintstones shit. Steve: Ohhh, you mean Slippery! WHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH Slippery's eyes widened at the mention of his name. Or it could just be the bath salts kicking in. That was kinda timely back in 2013. He simply assumed he had a clue on him before realizing there wasn't a paw print to be found on him. I don't know if this justifies calling in the department of redundancy department, but it sure rolls off the tongue like it would. One too many hims. Before he knew it, he was picked up by Steve and was submerged into the bath water as Steve made his descent into the tub. Note to self: sell Steve's bath water for top dollar in my spinoff store if we ever have another Spin-Off Fest. Slippery couldn't even expect what was coming next. As Steve wiped Slippery against his skin, Slippery could only scream one thing. Slippery: WHOOOOOOAAAH! and boom goes the dynamite. As well as the end of this first chapter! Totally worth getting Ben Mankiewicz of Turner Classic Movies on board, mang. Make sure to buy a ticket and reserve a stall for tomorrow's feature showing, where things are bound to get ever so slightly weirder. Bye! See you soon!
  31. 1 point
    Omg I have watched the first two episodes of Never Have I Ever and it is good?
  32. 1 point
    "What is that thing?" "I keep it around for luck"
  33. 1 point
    Soooooo Jenks, your thoughts on the end of an era a.k.a. the Supernatural finale? no spoilers or anything but i don't think i've ever cried so hard from a tv show in my life.
  34. 1 point
    Not to be racist but I want to commit systemic discrimination against Rex?
  35. 1 point
    Unless somebody on the show’s staff comes out with a clear cut answer, I’d say it’s up to interpretation, like when they teased that Chuck was God in the Season 5 finale. It could really go either way, romantically or brotherly. Personally, I interpreted it as more brotherly when I first watched it, but after a second watch and some time to think on it, it really started to feel like Cas was expressing much more. I could really see it being romantic if that was the intent (it’s what I’m leaning more towards). It was probably to give majority of the fan base a moment of happiness themselves, I’m sure, but I think it’s got legs. And at the same time, it could also be seen as a very sincere, loving goodbye to one of the only real family he has left. It also kinda depends on how Dean reacts to it too since he didn’t get nearly enough time to process everything during that ending, I mean, both sides need to on board a ship for it to truly sail I think. And Dean is famous for being a womanizer, so I don’t know if they can pull that off seamlessly without shaking the foundation and/or ruffling some feathers. The only other remotely gay wrinkles to his character would be his relationships with Benny and Crowley (because Wincest will never be a thing), the one with the strongest gay undertones being the one with Crowley from Dean’s time as a demon under the Mark of Cain. didn’t mean to write an essay on this just to say “it’s up to interpretation”
  36. 1 point
    Yo i totally count ive been on here since i was 15 lmfao sup drag
  37. 1 point
    Hello, I am new to this site.
  38. 1 point
    This season finale is by far (yep, Nick is slow with airing s12) the best episode of season 12. It seems like a rip off of Sleepy Time, which is one of my favorite episodes but its execution is a lot different. I loved how it was mostly a dialogue free episode that took adventage of its animation. The whole sequence of SpongeBob trying to catch a krabby patty was very entertaining to watch along with Patrick tagging along for no reason and Squidward's painting coming alive to capture them. I also loved this episode was like a loose contiunation of its sister episode. I legit have no problems with this episode. It was that good. Grade: A
  39. 1 point
    welcome. im the squidward crossover guy but im admittedly lost interest atm
  40. 1 point
    @Old Man Jenkins and @Sauce Mama Supernatural...
  41. 1 point
    forgot i screenshotted this the other day back in halloween week, finally my mr sheffield x lizzie mcguire dad snuff/yaoi/slippery when wet/rivals-to-lovers R18 fanfiction.net story is canon
  42. 1 point
  43. 1 point
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CHDkyS_pRoc/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link ?
  44. 1 point
  45. 1 point
    A good 10 years ago, Jjs sent me his own revisions for Eps 1-6 of Patrick's Mansion. This was so I could get material for writing the revival myself. These eps were PM'd only to me by Jjs all the way back when SBC was a forumotion site. The PM's were kept buried within my inbox. For the longest time, I didn't think that I've preserved anything important from forumotion, but now that it turns out that I had kept Jjs' revisions for these episodes, now is a good time to post them here. It's fitting that I share them on this thread since this is Jjs' old writing, and my Oh Yeah! Collections variety series is exclusive to my old writing, old posts, and so forth:
  46. 1 point
    The following you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is not entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein... Anyway, it's just posts!
×
×
  • Create New...