Rap Critic

Hi, I'm the Rap Critic. You don't have to like my opinion, but I... wait, what the fuck am I doing? Hey! It's me, Wumbo. I used to review music on here. You all seemed to like that, so thanks to the Powers That Be (Zaid's King Neptune Request), i'm back at it again, here to give you my Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2024! Or, Bottom 10 Hits of 2024, as it were to be titled like the others. And because no bottom is complete without a top (you're on a SpongeBob forum, stop snickering), I will also be giving you my top 10 Hits of 2024! When? I don't know! But it is definitely coming! God, 2024 was such a great year for music! I can't wait to... Well... that's not a 2024 hit. Yeah, as you've probably heard, Billboard year-end charts are more fucked up than ever since they suddenly decided that Christmas songs of all things count! So I'm probably going to have to find another method to determine what actually constitutes a "hit" in 2024. We're going to focus on the real hits of the year. That means no Christmas songs, no songs from August of 2023, just the hit songs that we all remember from 2024! That's right. Every entry on both lists is going to be the Hawk Tuah remix.

Patrick walks into Mrs. Puff's Boating School to vote for Obama Patrick: Good afternoon, good sir. I would like to cast a vote for one Barack Obama. Fish Attendant: Okay, sir. Do you have a Voter ID Card? Patrick: nervously sweats A-a what? Fish Attendant: A Voter Id Card. Sir, I can't let you vote without a Voter ID Card. Patrick: Uh... yeah! It's in... my other pants. I'll be right back. rushes out Time passes, Patrick returns with shorts coloured inversely to his usual shorts Patrick: All right sir, I believe everything is in order. hands Fish Attendant a card Fish Attendant: Sir? Patrick: Yes? Fish Attendant: Sir, this is a baseball card of a player who doesn't exist, with "baseball" spelled wrong. Patrick: ...Yes? Fish Attendant: Sir, if you want to vote for Obama, you need a Registered Voter Card. Are you registered to vote? Patrick: thinks back to earlier that week SpongeBob: passing Patrick's house See you later, Patrick! I'm going to go register to vote. Patrick: watching TV I won't keep you waiting. The television screen shows a test pattern. Cut back to present Patrick: Panics, runs out SPONGEBOB! Cut to SpongeBob's pineapple, SpongeBob and Gary are playing chess SpongeBob: Now, Gary, I do think you'll regret that move later. I'm about to take your pawn. Gary: Makes a move to knock out Spongebob's queen Meow. SpongeBob: Checkmate?! Aww, best 42 of 83? Patrick: banging at SpongeBob's door SPONGEBOB! SpongeBob: Yeeees, who is it? Patrick: Knocks down SpongeBob's door SpongeBob, I need to register to vote! SpongeBob: Well, why didn't you say so, Patrick? Gosh, I would have thought you'd have that all taken care of. Patrick: SpongeBob, there comes a time in every man's life where he admits he needs some help. So... will you admit to me that you need me to help you help me register to vote? SpongeBob: Sure thing, buddy. What are friends for? Patrick: I know! Cut to Barg'N Mart. SpongeBob and Patrick are holding up the checkout line. Cashier: For the last time, this is not how you register to vote!! SpongeBob: Excuse me sir, I'll have you know I was here last week and you said I was registered to vote! Cashier: YES! You wouldn't stop asking. I wanted you OUT OF HERE! Old Man Jenkins: Come on now, while we're young! SpongeBob: looks sheepishly at cashier Do you at least have one of those buttons? Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick being kicked out of Barg'N Mart. SpongeBob gets up and dusts himself off. SpongeBob: Well, looks like I'm not registered to vote either. Patrick: Well, who do we both know that knows their way around a system of politics that is so intricate so as to stump the brightest of minds? SpongeBob and Patrick have a joint idea. Their lightbulbs merge to form a lightbulb with a big nose. To be continued, maybe, I don't know, have a great day

Top 10? Bottom 10? I'd like to think I'm more opinionated than that. Okay, so this will either be the best or the worst thing ever. Basically, I'm taking a look (a listen, rather), at the Hot 100 Year-End Chart of 2013, and will rank them based on my opinion of each song, from best (#1) to worst (#100). The list will commence with me posting numbers 50 to 41 (i.e. the worst of the best half) and numbers 51 to 60 (i.e. the best of the worst half). We'll continue from there until we reach the Top 10 and Bottom 10. So strap in, because we're in for a bumpy ride, starting tomorrow! 1959: Page 8/Explanations Page 20 1960: Page 18 1961: Page 27 1962: Page 48 1963: Page 26 1964: Page 21 1965: Page 37 1966: Page 19 1967: Page 12 1968: Page 50 1969: Page 43 1970: Page 36 1971: Page 31 1972: Page 19 1973: Page 15 1974: Page 24 1975: Page 27 1976: Page 26 1977: Page 25 1978: Page 50 1979: Page 41 1980: Page 16 1981: Page 28 1982: Page 37 1983: Page 10 1984: Page 41 1985: Page 32 1986: Page 24 1987: Page 30 1988: Page 50 1989: Page 45/Explanations Page 46 1990: Page 11 1991: Page 33 1992: Page 40 1993: Page 47 1994: Page 38 1995: Page 20 1996: Page 4 1997: Page 39 1998: Page 21 1999: Page 44 2000: Page 42 2001: Page 22 2002: Page 5 2003: Page 35 2004: Page 49 2005: Page 17 2006: Page 46 2007: Page 13 2008: Page 30 2009: Page 50 2010: Page 7 2011: Page 9 2012: Page 23 2013: Page 1 2014: (Check Clappy's Best and Worst of 2014 thread) 2015: (Check Clappy's Best and Worst of 2015 thread) 2016: (Check Clappy's Best and Worst of 2016 thread) 2017: ^this but 2017 2018: c'mon now 2019: lol WORST SONGS OF ALL TIME: Page 50 BEST SONGS OF ALL TIME: Page 50 TOP 100 ARTISTS: Page 51