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CyanideFishbone
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About CyanideFishbone
- Birthday 04/17/2001
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Hey! I know I've said I've taken a step back from SBC and I still intend to keep that going, but I have started a media/music blog if anyone wants to check it out/follow it at https://icecreamvoid.blogspot.com/2022/03/. I don't know how active I'll be especially considering I've only got about a month left this semester, but I'm planning on starting to go through the Billboard Hot 100 quite like Wumbo and Clappy did.
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Hey guys, Cyanide/Ryan here. It's been a while, but I've officially decided my decision to split from SBC (actually I have for a long while, but I'm only really now sitting down to write this after a month of will I/won't I).
My activity has been on a pretty consistent downward fall since high school, and a lot of that is because of mental health issues, but the main thing that's because of is school and real life. I shouldn't say I don't have the time because I 100% do and have way too much on my hands but I've been trying to find other outlets to spend my time so I don't get bored but that's a whole other can of worms right there. But still, I'm at a point in my life where I'm prioritizing school above almost everything else (while still luckily having time for my hobbies) because I don't wanna stay at university any longer than I have to as I'm already a semester or two behind as it is. Not that I think that me becoming more active on this site would diminish homework time, I really don't, but I have my other reasons beyond just wanting to mostly focus on school.
If I put my blood, sweat and tears into it, I genuinely don't think I could ever become interested in Spongebob again, especially considering how into it I was when I joined. The truth is 2013 Cyanide and 2021 Cyanide are night and day, two absolutely completely different people. Unfortunately, the reality is that the strong undying love I once felt for Spongebob has just moved onto other things. Wanting to re-evaluate my own worst list (sorry for not finishing that) really put things into perspective for me; I couldn't be bothered to go through with my list when I announced it, and even when I started not really just because I'm just not interested in Spongebob at all anymore in all honesty. Will I still revisit Seasons 1-4? Oh yeah absolutely. But it's not gonna be a consistent thing, it's usually a couple times a year thing if at all. I find me going back to Spongebob mostly as a source of nostalgia to be honest, but I do have gags that still kill me as an adult and what not.
I just don't feel like I belong here at all anymore. I still have my friends here obviously, and none of you guys are actively excluding me or anyone. I guess my point is is just that I'm such a completely different person than I was when I first joined, and how I was throughout my presence on this site. I don't wanna mince words and sorry for the tonal shift but late 2018-2020 was without a doubt the worst period of my entire life up to this point, which is coincidentally when my activity started to decline. During this period in my life, I was forced to accept some hard truths about myself, and acknowledge that as my adulthood emerges, I have to grow too. In high school, while Spongebob became less and less relevant to my personal life as I moved on, graduating and being in college definitely helped me move on more and more. Do I think I outgrew SB? Yes and no. I'm still able to enjoy older episodes and by the amount of Spongebob memes and clothing I see around people my age sure as hell haven't outgrown it. But on the other hand, I feel like I have to be in a very specific mood for a gag-centric show like Spongebob. There are so many other shows I would watch over it if I'm looking for a quick solid laugh and that list honestly just grows and grows the more and more TV I watch. In a round about way of saying it, it's something I'll come back to now and again for nostalgia and to hear some classic jokes again, but besides that, I just don't really get a whole lot out of it nowadays. I guess it's also worth mentioning that I usually kinda get burnt out on things despite me liking them if they're everywhere; and obviously Spongebob falls under this. A really great example is Hunter x Hunter, which I love but ever since this weird blow up of it it's kinda reached a point where I need a little break from seeing it everywhere. I also kinda have an antipathy for memes that just refuse to die and I find like 99.9% of Spongebob memes fall under that category, but that's no fault of the show at all.
I know it's a really silly thing to say because I'm only not even 20 and a half and I'm really not young at all considering some of the ages of some of my site's fellow members, but I really feel my age gap. Not gonna lie but watching some of the younger members' pure undying enthusiasm about Spongebob has been awesome and I wish I could have that back but I shouldn't force it and I have to recognize that it'll probably never come back again. It's not like I'm losing anything again as that same love has moved onto things like One Piece for me, but I guess I just feel like I'm older and I guess more moved on than the age group comprising this site's primary age base. I just feel so far removed from this site's target group and I just need to move on, especially as someone who constantly feels like they don't belong with 99.9% of kids their age. None of this is anyone's fault. The vast majority of users on this site have been some of the nicest and most understanding people I've had the pleasure of meeting online, even during my darkest days when I was an angry, pretentious ass who was just blindly angry at everyone and everything because I was an angry 14 year old boy who didn't know how to deal with emotional trauma, and unfortunately blindly forced his emotional traumas on popular music and people just because they were beloved.
Pardon my language but since I joined back when I was 11, I've had to face some pretty f****d up stuff in my personal life. I've been fairly open about it, and I'm not wanting to get into anything because I just don't want to talk about it. But while I was planning to depart for a while, last month a drinking incident really put into perspective how bad my substance abuse had gotten, mainly in regards to drinking. Last summer it became common for me to lose about 3 hours every day after drinking vomiting/suppressing the urge to vomit just because I drank so much. I want to go back to drinking but I need to watch myself, as is these things. What comes with drinking and smoking is responsibility, so I'm not drinking for a little while to kinda get my mojo back. But what happened (which really was just me almost having a panic attack after drinking too much jungle juice) really put it into perspective and now since my leaving of the Discord server I've just been working a lot on myself. Breaking dumb and pointless habits and routines Aspergers had me forcing myself to do, and joining a yet-to-start group therapy group at my college to maybe drill it into my head one final time that I'm really not that alone, and that my experiences, thoughts and feelings shouldn't be shamed or aren't weird. My drinking accident was actually the original catalyst for me wanting to make this post, which was about a month ago now, but I just never really got around to it. Idk man. In the last couple years I've learned that I really need to move on from a lot of things in my past, and I think this is one of those things. Not gonna lie but it does make me personally feel better just kinda putting my foot down one final time and being like "I'm officially out" because in all honesty, I've been pretty much inactive since high school. Every time I've tried to rebound and become active again it's just always failed and I just don't have any interest in this site really at all anymore so I just think it's time for me to officially move on. As well as as I grow up, my real life responsibilities, commitments, etc grow, and while I don't have a lot of time on my hands right now soon enough things are going to be looking a lot different come internships and all that fun jazz.
I'm sorry if this whole thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense, or I meander constantly throughout points, sometimes it can't be easy to put thoughts to words. But this is really how I've felt about being on this site for the greater part of 2 or so years, so I think it's finally time for me to move on. I've been inactive for a long time, but I think it's finally time for me to move on. I've also done a lot of shutting myself off from the world around me, and throughout 2021 I've been working on not being like that, and during this period it's probably not best for me to be on a forum when I have things I need to focus on in real life. I know I've also said it before but if I ever treated you like garbage 2014-2017 I am so sorry, 14 year old me could not handle emotional trauma, which doesn't excuse it at all but that's why it was the way it was.
If you wish to stay in contact with me, by all means hit me up! I usually don't have a lot of people I'm talking to anyway. I shouldn't be responding DMs on here but I am active on Discord @icecreamstar#6264.
And with that, I'm taking my leave from SBC. Thanks for a terrific 8 years at this point, but I've just got to move on.
With a heavy heart and thanks for many great years,
-Cyanide/Ryan
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And we are live! I'm really sorry about the wait- a lot of unexpected stuff got in my way but I finally started working on this list. And with that I have our first entry. "Sweet And Sour Squid" Season 8 E5A Written by: Aaron Springer, Mr. Lawrence Plankton befriends Squidward in an attempt to get the secret formula, and must compliment Squid's music- while knowing just how bad it is. A lot of these episodes I haven't seen in years, and this one is no stranger to that. So when I rewatched this episode, I was pleasantly surprised by just how much I enjoyed it. It's not the best episode, nor the funniest episode, but it has a neat premise that mostly delivers. Plankton and Squidward have a fun dynamic and while this episode isn't the funniest, the gags sprinkled in do work. Something that really stuck out to me was how in-character everyone in this episode was (for the most part)- one of my biggest gripes with later Spongebob (and one many others share) is how much the characters have derailed but everyone was pretty much solidly in character here. I will say that Spongebob seemed a little more obnoxious and naive than normal but everyone else was very in character and it never really got too jarring so I can hand wave it. Characters in shows like these can me malleable to fit certain premises, which I'm fine with as long as the change isn't too bad, which it isn't here. The highlight here is definitely the Pinball Wizard segment, Mr. Lawrence does a fantastic job doing a twist on the song, but the other jokes and plot elements work. I remember largely disliking this one due to the ending and... I don't see anything wrong with it. After Plankton finds out Squid doesn't know anything about the formula (very in character with his apathetic work ethic), he makes a run with Squid's clarinet, to which he runs into the townfolk pissed at him for accompanying Squid who played all over town to everyone's annoyance- and ends up arrested for disrupting the piece. I think I remember thinking it was dumb or something, but it really isn't. First off, Plankton is often treated as a butt-monkey in-universe, so it makes sense that he would get bit in the ass like this, especially with a plan of his that doesn't work out in the slightest. I'm striking this from my worst list without a doubt, I was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable this show was. Especially considering I really don't like Seasons 7-8, this one is definitely a diamond in the rough. That squid does sure play a mean clarinet. -
Okay y'all- sorry about the wait (week after I posted this was rough- summer job didn't work out but I'm starting another soon) and I feel bad for not starting later but I can affirm that it will be starting soon (probably this weekend). Sorry about the wait!
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I'm on summer break and with me being on summer break I'm looking for things to keep me occupied- and since recently JJS reached out to me with my list of the top 25 worst Spongebob episodes from a long time ago for this year's list, I thought it would be a fun little project for me to reevaluate the list because it's so old and to be honest, I barely remember most of the episodes on the list. I almost feel like some of the placements are remnants of edgy middle school me just hating random episodes for very minor reasons, and I think it'd be fun to reevaluate this list, decide what actually deserved it's placement, and what doesn't. As real life and other interest took its place, my interest in Spongebob has also largely dwindled since I joined this site back in 2013, and I feel like a project like this is a good excuse to get me to watch some episodes again- even if they're from the show's weaker years. A few quick rules- if an episode is removed, it's gone from the list and is either in my good graces or is just an okay episode that isn't among the worst, depending on circumstance. If an episode is kept, it stays on the list, where it may be rearranged, but is still a bad episode in my eyes. I may be inconclusive on some, so those will be considered a tossup if need be. Also feel like noting when I'll be posting- there won't be a deadline or any set date where I update, I wanna take my time with this and do it when I want to do so, since honestly I've abandoned a lot of similar projects in the past and I'm worried about doing so again. But I should be updating somewhat fairly frequently- I'm starting my summer job on Friday, so I may have less time but I should be able to fit in an 11 minute episode into my schedule fairly frequently. Anyway, before we get started, here's the list. I'll be going from #25 to #1: 1. Little Yellow Book 2. Greasy Buffoons 3. inSPONGEiac 4. One Coarse Meal 5. Demolition Doofus 6. Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful 7. Restraining SpongeBob 8. SpongeHenge 9. The Thing 10. New Fish In Town 11. Buried In Time 12. Sentimental Sponge 13. Summer Job 14. Boating Buddies 15. A Flea In Her Dome 16. Penny Foolish 17. Sun Bleached 18. Squid's Visit 19. Pet or Pests 20. Truth or Square 21. Pineapple Fever 22. The Other Patty 23. Drive Thru 24. Walking The Plankton 25. Sweet And Sour Squid One thing I will say in advance is pardon me if I don't have a lot to say about the more talked about episodes like Boating Buddies as for a lot those episodes everyone knows why people don't like them, but with that, that's really it. I'm really excited to revisit these episodes after years and the first entry should be out soon!
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Demon Slayer is so overrated and I feel like I'm the one person in the world who wasn't completely head over heels with Mugen Train. I don't dislike either, I still enjoyed both for the most part, but they are far from my favorites. As someone who really enjoys shonen/manga, I really love Dragon Ball, FMA, One Piece, My Hero Academia, etc. I even like series like Fairy Tail and Bleach which a lot of people shit on, so I was kinda expecting Demon Slayer to be a slam dunk for me in terms of enjoying it; especially considering how much I've enjoyed some of the more recent shonen I've read like Jujutsu Kaisen (still need to watch the anime) and Chainsaw Man (despite it going to Shonen Jump's seinen branch). With most things, I went in just expecting a good time, but was not expected to be this BORED watching Demon Slayer, especially at the start. Quick obligatory the animation of Demon Slayer is goddamn amazing. It looks like a movie throughout the entire series. That is one thing I believe lives up to all the hype, and then some honestly. The fight scenes are also super well done and extremely well animated ofc. But it really feels like all the elbow grease went into those things when writing it because jesus christ the characters are uninteresting as hell for the most part. I really don't get what everyone sees in Tanjiro, the dude has the personality of a wet blanket and is literally THE most boring protagonist I have ever read in a story. I at the very least would prefer loud shonen idiot protag to this kid. Tanjiro has no personality, no nuance, nothing; he's nice and cares about saving people and his friends. That's pretty much it. No fun character quirks, no other dimensions, that's really it. And when you have a weak protagonist, personally I find it hard to get super invested- which doesn't help because Demon Slayer's plot really isn't very interesting either. It's the most generic shonen plot I've ever seen, if I had a shot for every shonen cliche that's been beaten into the ground throughout Demon Slayer I would have alcohol poisoning. None of the antagonists are interesting at all, Kyogai was the only one that stuck out to me, but also I don't know how much that has to do with the fact I love Steve Blum and hearing his voice in an anime again is just bliss honestly. Also his powers were cool and that part of the story was where things started to pick up with me so there's that. A lot of people give Zenitsu shit but honestly I enjoyed his presence, but I don't know how much that had to do with the fact that Tanjiro has the personality of sandpaper. Inosuke is a great character though, but I feel like half the time he was on screen I was wondering to myself how much better this whole thing would be if he was the lead instead of a piece of human sandpaper. I feel like Nezuko's purpose is more concerned with fighting occasionally and being cute since she barely talks if ever, and she does pass that admittedly with flying colors (goddamn she is adorable I'll give the series that). I literally do not remember anything about any other characters. No fun character quirks, moments, nothing. The mentor serves his purpose for the plot and is pretty much ditched after that, but he barely had any personality at all. Like just, jesus, it's not hard to give your characters personality. You did it twice with Zenitsu and Inosuke and did it fairly well but I just feel like all the other characters are just a hodge podge of random shonen stock character traits or there was no attempt to make these characters stand out and feel important which in turn makes them feel like plot devices to me. And the characters not being great wouldn't be a huge issue to me if the story was interesting which it really isn't. Nezuko gets turned into demon, dude runs into professional demon slayer, goes to train, does the exam, becomes demon slayer, fights some monsters, meets Inosuke and Zenitsu, eventually they find out Tanjiro is holding a demon, meets the Hashira, they say Nezuko is fine, than the events of Mugen Train. Not really much more than that. Ehhhhh. Mugen Train is gorgeous visually. That I will attest to again. The fight scenes are also super well done, and the dream concept was pretty well done. But I don't know, I just felt like everyone walked out of it in awe and I did so for other movies like the Broly movie 2 years back and I just kinda walked out of the theater for Mugen Train like "okay, that was a thing". I will say the movie did a really great balancing act at keeping Zenitsu both serious and competent while still keeping him goofy comic relief to which the anime adaptation more teeters toward the latter. But I don't know, maybe it's moreso the media hype as opposed to the movie's quality. The villain was also awful. I've never been a fan of evil for the sake of being evil villains and this was that. Because fuck motives, am I right? Also the villain looked like blatant 13 year old emo girl tumblr bait but that's not important just a funny note. And also while Mugen Train was gorgeous, I didn't think of it as much more a visual spectacle as opposed to Broly, the MHA movies, and even some of the recent One Piece movies like Stampede. Demon Slayer's animation is absolutely theatrical level, so seeing it for a TV series is pretty amazing, while here it just felt pretty by the note for a theatrical anime movie. Although to be fair I don't think the American movie-going public at large is as used to visual spectacles like this for anime movies so that's understandable from their perspective. MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS (FORGOT HOW TO DO A SPOILER TAG) I also did not feel anything when Rengoku died. I also hated how the main antagonist died only for another one to show up without any sort of buildup or any foreshadowing that this would happen- it really just felt like a cheap trick by the plot so Rengoku could die and the arc could have it's emotional climax. Also I feel like by this point in the series we're given so little screentime with Rengoku so his death doesn't feel worth it. The reason why the deaths of characters like Jiraiya in Naruto, Ace in One Piece, etc is we're given time with these characters. We understand the relationships they have with the protagonists and other central characters, what they value in life, who they are, and maybe even some of their past. None of that is given with Rengoku. He's nice when he's introduced, is kinda cool, and then dies and the series is supposed to make me care about him. I don't, I'm sorry. These characters need to be fleshed out when they die for them to have any emotional impact for me. Even Rosinante from One Piece had a bigger emotional impact when he died, in a flashback, and who was around for FIVE chapters as opposed to Rengoku being around for so much longer. But that's also because Oda is a great writer and understands that Rosinante needs to be fleshed out for his death, and thus Law's flashback, to have emotional impact to which it did in spades for me. Your characters need to be fleshed out before they die for it to have any emotional impact, which I feel like Demon Slayer does not understand. And that's that, I guess. I still enjoyed it but Jesus Christ it is not one of my favorites and doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as some of the greats IMO. Also I know it's petty and I'm also insanely biased but the fact this overtook One Piece in sales for a little while kinda peeves me. Comparing this to One Piece is like comparing Taco Bell to an authentic Mexican restaurant.
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"Rosy Jack World" // The Frogs
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I think a lot of the backlash against James Rolfe is super overblown and silly. Yeah his content now isn't anywhere as good as it once was and I know he doesn't write his own scripts anymore, but he's also raising two very young children. He just sounds creatively burnt out mostly and hasn't done anything problematic besides that (The Ghostbusters thing was just a giant misunderstanding), and we live in the golden age of YouTubers being exposed as groomers/pedos/etc, so if that's the worst Rolfe has done is be a bit lazy, so be it. To me, a lot of his detractors just seem like angry people who don't realize that when you have kids, especially ones as young as Rolfe's, that's pretty much your entire life until they're able to be self-sufficient.
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It's been a long time since an update, so I guess there's no time like the present to give one.
I don't wanna jinx myself but I think 2021 might finally be the year I turn things around. I have therapy every week and I'm finally really starting to feel the positive effects of it- I'm no longer quite as lonely, angry, and my moods have been a lot better. But more than that, I'm finally starting to actually break out of my shell. I'm still pretty anxious in new social situations, but nowhere as bad as it was even a year ago when it gave me borderline anxiety attack levels of anxiety.
The thing I realized is I was fine approaching people as a kid, before middle and high school, which IDK if I've opened up about it much on here, but both absolutely wrecked my self-esteem, which in turn wrecked my social skills. I blamed it on Aspergers for so long which is part of it but the fear of rejection is what it really was. I was so scared to share my interests IRL for so long and it's no longer like that because I know realize I'm no longer around judgmental and fake people who treated me like dead weight. Those people still exist at my school, sure- but I'm not associated with any of them. I'm also a college radio DJ now, so I've joined an on campus community where I feel supported and respected for the first time in years.
Part of me honestly doesn't know what to say. Not even a year ago, even last semester, if I had a way to off myself without hurting myself or my loved ones, I would've done it without thinking twice. Emerging adulthood and depression can suck, y'all. But it's better now. Me and my roommate are getting our own place next semester, and really, the meat of it is I'm breaking out of my shell for what truly feels like the first time. Far gone are the ham-fisted middle school days of trying to talk to girls and failing. I just want to thank everyone, be it IRL or here, for longing with me. It's been a rough transition from edgy "I hate everything" 2015 me on here to a more mature, adult me now. I've got a long way to go but I can do it. I'm worth it, and I can make it. I'm not perfect but no one is. I've got a lot of growing to do but everyone does, and I've been working on said process right now. I really don't want to jinx myself but I think things are finally turning around.
I want everyone struggling who is reading this to know I stand by you and that stuff does get better. It's said ad nauseam at this point that it's kinda lost a lot of it's meaning, but god darn it, it's something I believe in. I don't want to dictate what is mentally healthy/therapeutic for everyone but therapy is really making a massively positive impact in my life. I also got my vaccine yesterday which is pretty cool, and I've been working out recently and I'm starting to lose a bit of weight and am starting to feel a bit better about my body. I'm tired of letting people push me around, and I'm ready to stand up for myself if said stuff happens. I have my bad days, but things are noticeably better than they were even 4 months ago. I'm still not super super active but that's mostly as I'm juggling college. I just wanted to say that I've been doing a lot better, and I hope you guys are doing well, and if you're not, I want you to know I have your back and that stuff does get a lot better.
-Ryan
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"My Michelle" // Guns N' Roses
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Sorry not sorry but the ICarly cinematic universe >>>>> any superhero thing ever
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Obscure Interest Sharing Thread!
CyanideFishbone replied to DarknessDG's topic in Robot-Pirate Island
I didn't really realize it until the other day but the main reason I'm interested in it is despite it being a multimillion dollar industry, porn is pretty much barely documented at all. Which is weird, because it's a decently well-known genre that almost all of us are aware of. And a lot of these films, mainly in the late 60's-70's played important roles in the sexual revolution and film history in general in regards to exploitation/more experimental/underground cinema but these films just really were never documented thoroughly. A lot of the industry is shrouded in mystery and kinda lost to time and that stuff always interests me so that too. Also establishments like porn theaters and stuff like porn magazines and adult home video from back in the day fascinate me, again from the lack of documentation. Ofc I'm only almost 20 but it's just so weird to think that 40 years ago if you wanted to uhh..... do your business and had no access to home video of any sort (be it betamax or a film reel) you had to go out and do it in public, avoid trying to get caught and arrested for indecent exposure, risk social suicide, and do it in a shady ass movie theater. I don't yearn for those days, in fact they sound miserable, but it's just so weird considering now an insane network of it is at our fingertips pretty much whenever. I've kind of picked up a small interest in dinosaurs. Idk they all look so different and a lot of them just look wack and are really cool when you read up on them, but I'm also really interested in prehistoric life in general. I've also been fascinated by Iceland recently, idk why. Nordic countries interest me in general and Iceland is beautiful as hell, but man I didn't know it was that small until recently. -
Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)
CyanideFishbone replied to Wumbo's topic in K-BLUB
Weezer are the most inconsistent band in history but I do recommend checking out both Everything Will Be Alright In The End and The White Album if you haven't- they're both very solid records that were a great return to form that they unfortunately pretty much blew straight out the window. Sigh.... -
god damn it finally after like seven years of waiting I'm really excited for both. The open world Pokemon games seems really cool and Gen 4 was the gen I grew up with so I've been waiting for these remakes for a long time. Hoping that they'll fix the issue of like the 3 Fire lines that are in the original Diamond/Pearl but I'm picking Chimchar because that was who I picked first and I love my fire starters so I guess it doesn't effect me too too much. Hoping to see some Unova/Galar/Alola/Kalos pokemon in the game but with the Dexit stuff idk if we'll see that. Still happy to have my Gen 4 remakes though.
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I'm halfway done with the second season of Close Enough since it came out yesterday and I can't emphasize how much of a treat this show is. I don't wanna get depressing but watching Regular Show all the time is one of the few happy memories I have from my preteen years and it's a pretty great feeling watching Regular Show as a kid and now watching this as an adult (even though I'm only 19 and ofc not facing stuff like marriage or raising a child). A spiritual successor without censors is just what this needed to be and I think it really delivers.
