WinterArcanine's Content - The SpongeBob Community

17 years ago: Patrick: Wait 'til you see "No Patrick Day." Come on, everyone. Let's go! [Everyone gets on the bus. SpongeBob knocks Patrick off when he tries to get on. Patrick immediately forgets what happened.] Patrick: Where'd everybody go? Hello? Hello? ……”Hello??? Where is everyone? Why is everyone gone?” Patrick was very confused about where everyone went. Even though he should know because he gave everyone the No Patrick Day idea. So he’s kind of an idiot tbh Patrick: Oh, I know! They all went to their houses because it’s midnight! [he says, while staring into the bright sun]. I might as well go back home and sleep! [Patrick goes to sleep on his table, and wakes up the next morning, has his breakfast on the bed, and exits his rock] Patrick: Ah, what a lovely fucking morning! Wait….fuck. Fuck. FUCK!!!!!!!!! Huh, I guess the Nickelodeon censorship board isn’t working today. Well that’s interesting! Ugh, I’m HUNGRY!!! I need to get to the Krusty Krab and eat some Krabby Patties! [Patrick goes to the Krusty Krab, which is surprisingly busy] Patrick: Can I order a Krabby Patty? Cashier: vroom vroom Patrick: ok good. I’ll have an…..um……..ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm he continues thinking for an entire minute Cashier: vroom vroom vroom Patrick: DON’T RUSH ME! I’m thinking! um……….OH, I know! I’ll have a Krabby Pa-....um, I forgot again. Ummmmmm Guy standing in line behind him: VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM!!! Patrick: Don’t be rude! Give me time to think! um….OH, I’ll have 8 Krabby Patties! Cashier: vroom vroom! Patrick: [sits down at a table] Why does it seem like everything is so….normal today? Weird Cashier: vroom vroom vroom (“Do you know who that guy is? I thought everyone wasn’t in town right now?”) [For the sake of making this not awful to read, everything forward has been translated from boat language] Customer: I don’t know. I thought that insane sponge was the only one left until he disappeared yesterday. Cashier: Huh. Well, hopefully he doesn’t ruin our peaceful boat utopia. It’s been nice being able to live as ourselves and not just be a tool for other sea creatures to use. Fry Cook: [goes to Patrick’s table] Here’s your order sir! 8 krabby patties! Patrick: Thanks [instantly eats all 8 krabby patties and starts leaving the Krusty Krab, only to trip on a boat and fall in] Oh, what’s this? A ninth Krabby Patty! Tears the steering wheel out of the boat I’m gonna eat this while I watch my TV shows! [Patrick walks back to his rock, but he notices a boat following him] Patrick: huh? Who’s there? What the boat actually says: Hey, can you please give me back my steering wheel? I think you thought it was something else, but it’s actually my steering wheel, so I’d like to have it back. What Patrick thinks the boat said due to not understanding boat language: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DID YOU RIP OFF MY IMPORTANT STEERING WHEEL? I’M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS YOU ASSHOLE! Also we’re all boats and your friends are gone lmao how are you this dumb wtf Patrick: AHHHHHHH!!!! I CAN’T DIE!!!! What do I do….how do I get out of this………I’m afraid I have no choice. It’s the only way I’ll live. [Patrick brutally murders the poor boat. He didn’t just do it quickly either, it was brutal and involved him forcefully destroying the boat piece by piece until nothing was left intact] Another car: HOLY SHIT, THAT GUY JUST KILLED A BOAT! EVERYONE ARREST THAT PSYCHOPATH! Patrick: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! He tries to sprint back to his rock, but the boats inch closer and closer to him Why is everyone gone? I need someone to help me! Big Sister Sam: No worry Patrick, Sister here save-One of the boats crashes into her, instantly killing her and causing the boats to be distracted Patrick: What…..Who was that? They definitely aren’t related to me…He finishes running home and hides under his rock Oh no, they’re all coming after me, now all of them are gonna try to kill me. And they’ve probably done something to SpongeBob and everyone else! I probably don’t have much time before they find where I live…there’s only one way out of this. I have to kill them all *2 weeks later* Bikini Bottom is now a warzone. The sky is a fiery orange-yellow color, you can constantly see smoke from destroyed buildings. There are weapons and corpses of demolished boats all over the place. 95% of the boat population has been destroyed, and the remaining 10% are either in hiding, or actively seeking to destroy the killer, Patrick Star. After two weeks of murder, Patrick has become a terrifying menace. He is loaded with tons of military-level guns, bombs, and plenty of other weapons. Somehow, he has hardly even been damaged. The boats have hardly been able to do anything to him. Boat 8: I can detect something on 78 Pearl Drive. I think Patrick is there looking for boats. Boat 71: Yep, looks like you’re correct. QUICKLY, EVERYONE GET EVERY LIVING BOAT OVER TO THE AREA TO SURROUND HIM. HE WON’T BE ABLE TO ESCAPE OUR WRATH! Every living boat circled Patrick, surrounding him completely. This was it; if they couldn’t kill him now, they stood no chance. However, Patrick has plenty of experience fighting boats at this point. This may be the scariest position he’d ever been in, but he wasn’t scared. He managed to shoot, bomb, or physically destroy every boat around him, without even taking any damage. The last remaining boats tried to run away, even leaving bikini bottom limits, but it was futile, as Patrick managed to kill every last one of them. Patrick: Finally….they’re all dead. I’ve killed them all! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He hears an engine sound in the distance There must be one more left…. And once I kill him, the boats will be gone for good! The engine sound comes closer and closer, and Patrick realizes this isn’t just a boat. It’s a whole bus. Oh no, this must be their powerful leader! Well, I’M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES! TAKE THIS YOU EVIL BUS! Patrick throws his most powerful bomb at the bus, causing a large explosion that completely destroys the bus. He looks at the remnants of the bus, and sees some very strange things. He sees tiny yellow pieces with green holes, a couple mangled tentacles attached to nothing, a large crab claw, some small brown hairs, and a lot of fish scales. Patrick: OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!! ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM WAS IN THAT BUS! AND I BLEW IT UP! NOW THEY’RE ALL DEAD! He starts sobbing WHY DID I DO THIS TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TERRIBLE DREAM….PLEASE……please……please…..please……please….. ……please…please……please…please….”oh sweet Neptune, it was just a dream! SPONGEBOB! I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE DREAM! I-Spongebob? Hello? He looks around him, only to find nothing Where is everyone? Hello? Hello?” A faint voice appears in the distance. Patrick: Hello??? Why is everyone gone? Voice: Patrick, wake up! WAKE. UP!!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! …Wake up……Wake up….”ugh….” Patrick woke up once again, and notices the remnants of the destroyed bus once more. WAIT, IT WASN’T A DREAM??? Spongebob: Patrick! Patrick: Spongebob!!! You’re alive! He notices everyone else behind hm too And everyone else! Spongebob: Patrick, we were celebrating No Patrick Day, remember! Patrick: No Spongebob: Patrick, what is that behind you? Were those people? What happened? Patrick: Um……I don’t know In the distance, back in Bikini Bottom, the sound of a boat engine blowing up is heard. Spongebob, remembering what happened to him during No Spongebob Day, understands exactly what had happened Mrs Puff: Well, it’s been 4 weeks of holidays, but I guess now we need to go back to work. I can’t wait to ride my boat and teach everyone how to drive again! Spongebob: Um……Quick, everyone! It’s time for No Mrs Puff Day! Mrs Puff: Wha- Everyone quickly runs away. Mr Krabs: Sorry Mrs Puff, but I’m gonna need to get a divorce! I’ll remarry you in two weeks when we return! Mrs Puff: EUGENE!!! The citizens of Bikini Bottom once again leave someone alone to themselves Ugh. Why did they even do that? I’m not even annoying or a threat on the road like Patrick or Spongebob!