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How are you feeling? (Emotionally)


Karen

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Mentally beating myself up for trading in my old PS4 for a new slim PS4 without backing up the saves for my Spider-Man game. I mean, I beat it already but I was sooooo close to 100% completion on Spectacular setting as well as platinuming it :patrick_crying-308: But the game is so damn good that I don't mind restarting from scratch, should be easy enough given how much progress I made in it throughout this past week.

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A bit peeved and disappointed that I was forced to miss out on seeing that new MHA movie with friends due to the theater having sold all their tickets right when I happened to reach the ticket booth. Like something out of a goddamn Hey Arnold episode. So I ended up having to watch another movie. By myself. I should've just snuck in and took the seat that was being saved for me in hindsight since I heard that's what a lot of people ended up doing, most of them just standing up on the side and such the whole time. But no, I had to be all noble about it and think about the peeps who did manage to purchase a ticket. At least my friends are willing to take me to go see it (hopefully) a second time on Tuesday. That aside, the rest of my day was pretty g.

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I don't know; I feel fine, but I also feel empty. Like I'm missing something in my life, and I think it stems from my longing to develop a romantic connection with a guy in the near future. I honestly thought it'd be easy for me to start afresh socially in that particular department once I came to university, but since I now live at home and commute, not much has honestly ended up changing. And yet, I am still happy with what I have and love all of my new friends dearly, and coursemates, too (who for the most part also pretty much commute like I do meaning that we're sorta similar in personalities and I actually love this fact).

And I suppose going off of this, I'm a little scared of developing romantic crushes on guys that I know do not reciprocate that particular feeling, as I had done such during my sixth form years in two noteworthy instances. Sure, it's all harmless to only have a crush on someone and not act on it for everyone's sakes (including your own), but it only amplifies the feelings I've mentioned above, for me, so it's always a little conflicting.

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I feel alright, just kind of drained after a long day. Just waiting for tomorrow. Whether greatness or the most awful of awful things come, I'm ready to face it.

I kind of want to eat at a restaurant tomorrow, tomorrow's Friday: it just seems fit to go to restaurants on that day.

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I'm feeling very, very...flustered.
In a good way...I think.

So this guy just started chatting me up out of the blue online and he was being really friendly and stuff. It was kinda obvious that he's possibly into me and wants to romantically pursue me. I hadn't explicitly acted upon it but eventually we got more comfortable talking to each other and started talking about our pasts; turns out we went to the same school and through some digging around I did on my part I found out that we actually had some mutuals from that school. So I didn't say anything about that fact but let him find out for himself by telling him my Facebook name for him to search up and see who I was. So, he did and he friended me and we kept on talking.

I think we ended up talking mostly about me, but guess what ended up happening. He asked me out for Thursday. So...I haven't said yes yet, but I probably will, and we've kinda upped our charm a little bit on each other but gah, do I feel nervy and giddy as hell! I'm somewhat insecure about it because this isn't a date as such - he did tell me he wanted to hang out with me as friends (probably so we can see how it goes) - but that doesn't lessen the fact that a guy has just asked me out for a get-together with the potential of it becoming something more.

Might ask him tomorrow if we can turn it into watching a movie; I do wanna see Venom, and there could always be something else on, sooooo...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm screaming on the inside and I'm full of feelings and ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

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On 10/22/2018 at 3:09 AM, CrookedAquatic said:

He asked me out for Thursday. So...I haven't said yes yet, but I probably will, and we've kinda upped our charm a little bit on each other but gah, do I feel nervy and giddy as hell! I'm somewhat insecure about it because this isn't a date as such - he did tell me he wanted to hang out with me as friends (probably so we can see how it goes) - but that doesn't lessen the fact that a guy has just asked me out for a get-together with the potential of it becoming something more.

Might ask him tomorrow if we can turn it into watching a movie; I do wanna see Venom, and there could always be something else on, sooooo...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm screaming on the inside and I'm full of feelings and ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

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This...did not happen. He overslept, so he completely missed the time we were supposed to meet up and he ends up waking up an hour after that time.

I can't say I feel disappointed, but I'm feeling rather underwhelmed if anything. It's like I've never met this guy before, and the fact that he told me that he spent quite a bit of money on drinks last night doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. I already know he's a night owl though, but I'm having some trust issues even though he continues to flatter me (and apparently I'm flattering him too...somehow...for he's called me "quality boyfriend material" during our most recent exchange).

I'm somewhat hopeful that our next meet-up is successful in being followed through by both of us. I'd like to talk to this guy in person over a tea/coffee/latte, and he apparently thinks this will work, so...who knows?

(also I ended up spending the time shopping where we were gonna meet and I bought a shit-ton of stuff so I'm satisfied with myself nonetheless; I was gonna go shopping there anyway even if he was to completely blow me off at the last minute so guess who got a win-win scenario in their palm...)

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