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To celebrate our noir event, here's a noir themed episode.

86. Out of the Future

Film: Out of the Past

OWM is hired muscle for “big moderator” Trophy, a former SBC doubloon gambling kingpin that relocated to Discord. OWM arrives in a rural Discord server, looking to hook up with someone from their past. Dman, who is the owner of a gas station, is fishing at a nearby lake with local woman Ooooooofy. OWM sends Dman’s deaf mute employee, Jjs The Kid, to retrieve Dman, then informs Dman that Trophy wants to see him. Though Ooooooofy trusts Dman implicitly, her parents are wary of him, as is Pazza, a local conservation official who has been sweet on Ooooooofy since childhood. Dman reluctantly agrees to meet with Trophy and invites Ooooooofy to join him for the 75 mile drive to Trophy's home. On the way, Dman tells Ooooooofy of a dark episode in his past (in flashback) involving both men and a beautiful but dangerous woman.

Dman's real name is Giraffe. He and former partner Sbl were private investigators on the internet. The pair had been hired at an extremely lucrative rate by the shady but superficially amiable Trophy to find his girlfriend, CakeCup, who had shot him and stole $40,000 before fleeing. Dman is hesitant, sensing Trophy, who claims he is disinterested in the money and wealthy enough, instead is seeking revenge rather than a reconciliation. Trophy assures Dman he just wants her back, and will not harm her, but, having an impulsive disregard for Sbl, tells Dman he wants him to handle the case alone. On their way out in the elevator Sbl insists the payday still be split 50-50 according to their standing agreement, and Dman agrees. Cake's maid tells Dman she helped her pack for a “tropical“ climate, and mentions something about inoculations, but seeks to throw him off by dissembling that she has gone to Robot Pirate Island. Dman guesses The Industrial Park instead, since shots were not needed for Robot Pirate Island but still were to visit that country in those days. He follows her trail before staking her out, and eventually striking up an acquaintance. She slowly but successfully seduces a willing Dman, admitting she shot Trophy but denying she took his money. Influenced with desire, Dman proposes the two of them go on the run together. Cake warns him Trophy won’t forget, which Dman tries to dismiss with the wisecrack that the two of them will send him a postcard greeting every Christmas.

Dman proposes they leave the next morning for somewhere south by sea, and Cake agrees to meet him at his hotel. While packing, he is surprised by the arrival of Trophy and OWM, checking up on his lack of progress. Dman lies that Cake slipped past him and is on a steamer going south. Trophy instructs Dman to keep looking for her. Dman overreacts and tells Trophy he’s finished both with the case and their relationship, to which Trophy responds threateningly, “I fire people. Nobody quits me.“ After a close call in the hotel cocktail lounge, Trophy departs. The fugitive couple instead flees north by freighter to Atlantis. They live in there as inconspicuously as possible initially, but are spotted at an art show by Sbl, now working for Trophy. Dman and Cake split up to shake him, with Dman conspicuously heading to Spin-offs. When he is confident he has given Sbl the slip, Dman arranges to meet Cake at a cabin in the Kelp Forest, only to find that Sbl had been following her instead. When Sbl demands the full $10,000 originally promised the pair by Trophy to keep quiet, the two men brawl. Cake suddenly shoots Sbl dead. Dman is not merely startled but appalled, and lets her know that. He turns back towards Sbl and she flees, leaving him to bury the body. In her hast, some of her purse contents had spilled out on a table, including her bank book. Dman opens it to reveal a single deposit, $40,000. Dman finishes his confession to Ooooooofy just as they reach Trophy’s palatial #sports estate, ending the flashback.

Ooooooofy drops him off, and Dman is greeted with great bonhomie and apparent forgiveness by a cheerful Trophy, who tells him he has a job only Dman can handle, but he instinctively declines. Over breakfast, Dman is startled when Cake appears. Trophy dismissively yet with seeming graciousness tells them that they are both “back in the fold“, indicating to Dman the job is not one that he can turn down. Trying to sugar-coat the situation, he indicates it’s the only way to square things between them. A crooked Atlantis lawyer, RDSP, has helped Trophy dodge $1,000,000 in doubloon taxes, but now is blackmailing him for $200,000 or he will turn the incriminating records over to the SBC Treasury. Trophy wants Dman to recover them, and sends him on the afternoon train to Atlantis. There, Dman meets RDSP’s secretary, JCM in a cameo, who explains the plan. Dman begins to suspect he is being framed. That night she introduces him to RDSP, who has been invited, Dman deduces, to leave his fingerprints on a glass. The couple leaves, as Dman trails Carson, then returns and finds RDSP dead. Knowing he will be blamed, he hides the body to throw off those plotting against him. Returning to JCM’s apartment, he entraps Cake and wrings out of her that she gave Trophy a signed affidavit stating that Dman killed Sbl. Dman manages to retrieve the doubloon tax papers from some of Trophy’s thugs and mails them to a safe location, substituting a local phonebook in the briefcase to throw off Trophy‘s henchmen when he is captured. He tells them he will only deal with Trophy and flees, only to find him himself the focus of a police dragnet for an accused double murderer.

Dman returns to the Discord server. Unbeknownst to Trophy, Cake has ordered OWM to trail Jjs The Kid so he can find and kill Dman. Jjs drives to a steep, narrow canyon where Dman is hiding. Jjs spots OWM aiming a pistol at Dman and quickly hooks him with a fishing line, causing OWM to lose his balance and fall to his death. Dman goes back to Trophy's mansion and tells him of Cake's double-cross and OWM's death. He offers that the death of OWM, RDSP’s actual murderer, can be made to look like a guilt-ridden suicide, removing Dman from that frame-up. Furthermore, he will return the business records to Trophy if he destroys Cake's affidavit and hands her over to the police for Sbl's death. Trophy takes the offer, and Dman believes he has worked his way out of Cake's web.

Dman makes a quick visit to Ooooooofy, then returns to Tahoe to discover that Cake has killed Trophy. She gives Dman the choice of running away with her and a satchel of Trophy's money, or taking the blame for all three murders. He agrees to go with her, but phones the police while she is upstairs packing. Driving up to a police roadblock, Cake realizes that Dman has betrayed her and shoots him dead. She then fires at the police, who fatally shoot her. When the news reaches Discord, Pazza offers to take Ooooooofy away. Ooooooofy asks Jjs if Dman had been planning to run away with Cake. Wanting to free Ooooooofy, Jjs lies and nods his head. Ooooooofy returns to Pazza and she drives off with him, as Jjs smiles and salutes Dman’s name on the station's sign.

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You know what I've noticed in these stories? That I don't appear in MORE of them, and there hasn't been a parody of "Yellow Submarine" yet! How about you fix both of those problems in your next story submission? It would be really cool if you wanted to! Enough said, true believer!

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Hey, I'm back with more too!

87. The Guy Falls AKA A Really Funny Movie

Film: Uncut Gems

In 2015, a SpongeCraftian miner is left injured during an excavation, but his sacrifice is proven to be well worth the pain of a fractured leg as the other miners manage to unearth a rare material known only as the "Fat Dora". Two years later, we are introduced to our unlikely hero; an addict for bad ideas and bad decisions by the name of Newleaffan, who owns and operates the Revenge Store (yes, this was an actual thing here) in Kesano Mall. Newleaffan struggles to pay off several outstanding debts that he has accumulated with all his bad ideas throughout the years from running shady art contests with prizes that were way out of his budget to failed spinoffs to even flat-out stealing other people's art and claiming them as his own. One of these debts includes the 100,000 doubloons that he owes to Renegade, his loan shark brother-in-law (who also happens to run his own content creation production company). Newleaffan's domestic life is split between Someone, his estranged wife who has all the talent in the relationship, and his girlfriend DarknessDG, a Revenge Store employee.

ZaidCatDog, Newleaffan's business associate (as well as being the owner of Kesano Mall), brings A-list content creator JCM (in an extended cameo) to the Revenge Store. JCM browses the Revenge Store's wares, looking for newer and more innovative ways to kill OMJ in JCMovies. While he's there, Newleaffan's latest order arrives; the Fat Dora in all her childhood obese glory. They take turns admiring the piece, each of them finding plenty of inspiration to be productive as they each stare not just into her belly, but into the entire universe itself. JCM becomes obsessed with the Fat Dora, taking it with him to help with his content output later that night. Newleaffan reluctantly agrees, but he is given JCM's one of a kind Mr Dr Professor Patrick badge as collateral.

After JCM leaves to get back to his studio, Newleaffan gets the good idea to pawn off the badge and uses the money gained from it to place a six-way parlay on JCM's JCMovies episode performing extraordinarily well in that night's ratings on the spongeboard, which it does. Newleaffan is expecting to net 600,000 doubloons from his bet, but he is ambushed at his daughter's, That Excited SpongeKid's, school play by Renegade and his associates 4EverGreen and The Appetizer. Renegade reveals that he placed a stop on Newleaffan's bet as it was made with doubloons that are owed to him. 4EverGreen and Appetizer then strip Newleaffan of his pride and clothes and locks him in the trunk of his car, forcing him to call Someone for help, who is none too pleased by these latest developments.

Newleaffan later meets Zaid at an SBC Music Party hosted by up and coming musician, Young Nug, in order to retrieve the Fat Dora. Zaid informs him that JCM still has the Fat Dora, which angers Newleaffan so much that he even considers using his store to get revenge on him at one point. However, Newleaffan discovers DarknessDG and Young Nug reading Doody Era together (with Nug threatening her with death if she doesn't). Newleaffan gets into a fight with Nug, coming out of it about as destroyed as you would already expect. Feeling smeckledorfed, Newleaffan demands that DarknessDG move out of their apartment that she pays majority of the rent for. After hosting a sloppily put-together and awkward SBC "The Price Will Be Right" game which (like many of his past ventures) wasn't even given the go-ahead by the staff, Someone rejects Newlwaffan's offer to give their marriage a second chance.

JCM returns the Fat Dora before the auction and offers to pay Newleaffan 175,000 doubloons for it. Newleaffan refuses, however, having previously appraised it on "The Price Will Be Right" for a much larger price tag. Just before the auction starts, Newleaffan discovers the Fat Dora has been appraised for significantly less than his original estimate of 1 million doubloons. Newleaffan convinces his father-in-law, Wumbo, to bid on the Fat Dora in order to drive up the price, but his plan backfires when JCM doesn't make a play to top Wumbo's final bid. Wumbo gives the Fat Dora back to Newleaffan and makes it his life's mission to lock and trash every one of Newleaffan's bright ideas going forward. Renegade, 4EverGreen and Appetizer arrive shortly afterward and assault Newleaffan behind the auction house. Newleaffan returns to the Revenge Store, bloody and in tears. DarknessDG sells him some weed and they reconcile.

Newleaffan learns from Zaid that JCM is still willing to purchase the Fat Dora. They arrange a meeting, with JCM agreeing to come to the Revenge Store to pay Newleaffan in cash. Renegade, 4EverGreen and Appetizer arrive at the Revenge Store right before JCM leaves with the Fat Dora in his possession, and Newleafan tells DarknessDG to bet the cash on a three-way parlay on JCM having a strong performance in that night's spongeboard rankings and skip rope with it. DarknessDG manages to escape the store with the cash in hand as Ren and his boys confront Newleaffan in his office and threaten him.

DarknessDG travels by roflcopter to Glove World, where she places the bet for him. Ren is made aware of Newleaffan's play and demands him to get Darkness to stop the bet, but Newleaffan refuses to have her cancel it. Ren and his boys attempt to leave in order to pursue her, but Newleaffan locks them in between the Revenge Store's two security doors. Newleaffan turns on the tv to tune into the newest episode of Silly Adventures of Patrick Star. 4EverGreen stubbornly refuses to watch it, but being trapped in a confined space with nothing else to do for hours on end has left him feeling pretty bored and desperate, only agreeing to watch it as an absolute last resort.

JCM's newest Silly Adventures episode blows the rest of the competition away at the top of that night's spongeboard, winning Newleaffan 1.2 million doubloons. Newleaffan joyously frees the Reneverse crew from their entrapment and they all celebrate the big win. 4EverGreen even offers to buy something from the Revenge Store to commemorate the moment. 4Ever shoots Newleaffan in the face, wanting revenge for not being more prominently featured in this series as a whole. Newleaffan is killed instantly, his body falling to the ground. 

Ren reprimands 4Ever for his hasty and unnecessary actions before recommending that he listen to The Cramps' debut album, "Songs The Lord Taught Us". 4Ever shoots Ren dead, refusing to listen to any Christian music that isn't by Bob Dylan or Van Morrison. DarknessDG is shown leaving Glove World with Newleaffan's winnings. 4EverGreen strong arms The Appetizer into looting what they can from the Revenge Store in order to fund a Yellow Submarine parody. They flee before the police arrives. The camera zooms in closer to Newleaffan's face, descending deeper into the bullet hole as the credits roll.


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88. OBAB the Hedgehog

Film: Sonic the Hedgehog 

OBAB, an extraterrestrial blue hedgehog who can run at supersonic speeds, finds himself sought after by a tribe of echidnas or his power. His guardian, Patty Rose, gives him a bag of rings that can create portals to other planets, using one to send him to Earth while she protects him from the echidnas, and also gives OBAB a map to a planet filled with magic Mario mushrooms to use if he finds trouble on Earth. Ten years later, OBAB enjoys a secret life near the town of Green Hills but longs to make friends. He idolizes the local sheriff, Fred Rechid, and his veterinarian wife, Cake, unaware the pair are planning to relocate to Sega City soon, as Fred has been hired by the Sega Police Department. OBAB also messes around with some other residents of Green Hills, including JCM in a cameo who is the town's nutty conspiracy theorist and trying to prove OBAB's existence.

One night, OBAB becomes upset over his loneliness when playing baseball by himself, and runs at supersonic speed as a result, inadvertently triggering an electromagnetic pulse that knocks out power across the Pacific Northwest. Roboticist and scientific genius Dr. Steel is enlisted by the US Department of Defense to uncover the source of the outage, putting on his best Jim Carrey impression. Steel discovers and tracks OBAB, who hides in the Fred’s shed. Fred discovers OBAB and accidentally shoots him with a tranquilizer, causing him to send his bag of rings through a portal to San Francisco. Fred reluctantly agrees to help OBAB before Steel arrives at the Fred’s house and the two flee. As the pair evade Steel, who labels Fred a domestic terrorist, they slowly bond, with Fred learning about OBAB's desire for a real friend.

Steel comes across one of OBAB's quills, discovering the power in it has the potential to fuel his robots, and becomes obsessed with capturing OBAB. As he tracks them down, Fred discusses his plans to leave Green Hills, which OBAB disapproves of. Shortly after defeating a robot sent by Steel, an explosion injures OBAB. Arriving at San Francisco, Fred brings him to Cake, who revives him. While Fred explains about their situation to Cake, OBAB receives a new pair of sneakers from Cake's niece. The group heads to the Pingas Pyramid, where OBAB's bag of rings landed, and recover them. Steel arrives in a hovercraft and attacks them, forcing OBAB to use a ring to send Fred and Cake back to Green Hills.

OBAB flees from Steel, who uses the power of OBAB's quill to match his speed. The two engage in a chase across the world, ultimately returning to Green Hills. Steel incapacitates OBAB, but Fred and the other townsfolk intervene, allowing OBAB to regain his strength and reclaim his lost energy. Overcoming Steel, OBAB defeats him by sending him to the mushroom planet. Following the incident, Fred and Cake decide to stay in Green Hills and let OBAB live with them. The US government erases all evidence of the events, including records of Steel's existence. Meanwhile, an insane Steel, still in possession of OBAB's quill, begins plotting his revenge.

In a mid-credits scene, Winter, an extraterrestrial fox, emerges from a ring portal in search of OBAB. And for some reason, this film will be hailed and circlejerked as "the greatest video game movie ever" despite not really being all that great.

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89. The DeVito

Film: The Lorax (2012)

Young lad Mythix lives in Sneedville, a walled city where everything is artificially made memes, with no living memes. Mythix has a crush on meme environmentalist That Excited SpongeKid, and decides to impress her with a "real meme". His grandmother CF tells him the legend of Big Chungus, who knows what happened to the memes. Leaving Sneedville in search of Big Chungus, Mythix discovers that the outside world is a barren, contaminated wasteland. He finds Big Chungus, who agrees to tell him the story of the memes over multiple visits. Returning home, Mythix encounters Sneedville's greedy mayor, OWM, whose company sells bottled reddit gold to the polluted city. Explaining that memes, and the oxygen they produce freely, pose a threat to his business, OWM pressures Mythix to stay in town, but Mythix continues to visit Big Chungus.

Big Chungus recounts how, as a young wabbit, he arrived in a lush forest of animals and reddit memes. Cutting down a meme, he was confronted by Danny DeVito, the magical guardian of the forest who "speaks for the memes". After attempting to force Big Chungus out, Danny DeVito convinced him not to harm any more memes. Using the Reddit meme, Big Changes created the “Sneed", a piece of meme with multiple uses, which became a major success. His lazy relatives persuaded him to resume chopping down memes to mass-produce Sneeds, leading to enormous profits but deforestation and pollution. After harvesting the last Reddit meme, Big Chungus was ruined, abandoned by his family, and became a dead meme. Big Chungus was left heartbroken and unbearably guilty for destroying the forest. With the region uninhabitable, Danny DeVito sent the animals away to find a new place to live and disappeared into the sky, leaving a single word on a pile of rocks: “Unless".

Big Chungus gives Mythix the last reddit seed in hopes he can regrow the forest and make others care about memes. Mythix returns home to plant the seed, which is spotted by OWM’s city-wide surveillance. Enlisting the help of SpongeKid and his family, Mythix is pursued by OWM to the center of town. OWM rallies the citizens against Mythix, telling them that memes are dangerous and filthy, but Mythix uses an earthmover to knock down a section of the city wall, revealing the environmental destruction outside. Inspired by Mythix's conviction (as though a part of Mr. DeVito was within him), the crowd turns on OWM, and the seed is finally planted. While doing so, the townsfolk sing a magical song called Let It Grow, and even JCM in a cameo, the OWM delivery guy, gets into the song. Time passes and the land begins to recover; new memes sprout, animals return, and the now-elderly Big Chungus reunites with Danny DeVito.

The film ends with a totally real quote from Dr. Seuss: “Wholesome 100 Reddit moment.”

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Well, let's see how I did with this one since after...I believe it's 7 years since my last guest write for SBCinema:


90. Guardians of the Community

Film: Guardians of the Galaxy

In the year 2011, a young man named Travis is in the waiting room, listening to his Bikini Top Season 1 mixtape on his iPod (“Mama Who Bore Me” as sung by Lea Michele is playing) when was called out to see his “wife” Sara on her death bed. Sara gives Travis a present as they see each other for one last time. Witnessing her death, Travis then runs outside before being taken by a spaceship. Nine years have now passed as Travis, a.k.a. that70sguy, is shown on the Forumotion planet, searching around for an orb while listening to his personal mixtape (“Don’t Trust Me” by 3OH13 plays during said scene). 70s manages to escape with the orb after confronting a hunter from a ResetEra army. (“Forever Yong” by Youth Group plays as 70s is inside his ship) 70s’s accomplice Jjs, leader of the Managers, contacts him, telling 70s to give the orb to him. 70s has plans of his own on what to do with the orb and so betrays him while Jjs puts a bounty on his head.

On the ResetEra warship, the hunter reports back to his leader that 70s has the orb. The leader, Hayden the Accuser, who desires the orb so he could exchange it to Thanos to destroy the planet of SBC and then create one anew in the form of another ResetEra planet, decides to send in Katie, a vampire who was trained under his adoptive father Thanos to be his assassin, volunteers to go after the orb. 70s arrives on the SBC planet, to have a broker (JCM in a cameo) help explain to him what it is due to Hayden wanting the particular object. After being promptly kicked out of the shop due to mention of Hayden’s name, 70s is then ambushed by Katie and as well as by two bounty hunters named Renegade, a cybernetically modified unicorn, and G4ryoot, a sentient tree with a face shaped like Dug from the Pixar film Up who could only say “balls itch.” The skirmish then leads to up to 70s, Katie, Ren, and G4ryoot being arrested by Invision HQ and sent to a prison known as the Dutchman’s Shipyard. (“Beat Control” by Tilly and the Wall plays during 70s’s moments at the space prison)

Katie attracts attention from the other prison mates due to her being the adopted daughter of Thanos, including Hawk the Destroyer, who wants to avenge against Hayden for the death of his fellows on his former planet TF51. Katie then reassures to Hawk that she has no relation to Hayden and doesn’t intend to deceive him. Further on, 70s convinces to Hawk that Katie could bring Hayden to him due to her ties with him. After admitting to crossing Hayden so that the orb could not land in his hands, Katie then composes a plan to sell the mysterious orb to a collector named WhoBob, with 70s, Ren, and G4ryoot agreeing to split the reward. Renegade crafts up an escape plan from the Shipyard, which succeeds. Hawk decides to join in on the escape, as joining forces with Katie and the others would allow for him to confront and defeat Hayden thereafter. At the internet sanctuary, Hayden reports to Thanos about Katie being a traitor and so Thanos assigns Hayden to take care of the situation and take the orb.

The members on the run escape the Shipyard, after 70s had to turn back for a moment to retrieve his iPod. (“Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna plays during said escape) The collective settle inside 70s’s own ship, which he had named Sivan, and they each start getting to know each other more before their scheduled appointment with the collector. (“Fireflies” by Owl City plays as the ship reaches the collector’s planet) Hawk, Ren, and G4ryoot bond with a game of Cards Against Humanity and subsequently getting drunk, 70s and Katie bond over their love of vampires and with music, by way of 70s giving her a listen to his mixtape and offering her to dance with him, which she declines. (“Our Song” by Taylor Swift plays while 70s tells Katie about the legend of Footloose) Eventually, the collector’s assistant arrives near the Sivan ship to guide the group of members to meet him. Hawk, still drunk, calls out for Hayden the Accuser.

The group of members then meet up with the collector, WhoBob, who opens up the orb to reveal the Infinity Post inside of it, further explaining to the members that it contains immeasurable power that could be used as a weapon to destroy planets and as well as people except the most powerful beings, and that there are more Infinity Posts out there. The collector’s assistant, DarknessDG, touches the Infinity Post. Due to its power, it ends up poisoning her and triggers an explosion within the collector’s keep. The members leave WhoBob’s destroyed gallery with the orb and the Infinity Post intact, but are then confronted by Hayden and his army. 70s, Katie, and Ren take off in their own ships while Hayden’s crew, and as well as Thanos’s second adoptive daughter, More, tail them while Hawk takes on Hayden himself. He ends up being defeated by the powers of ResetEra thread spams invested in Hayden.

Katie’s ship is blown up by More, who then takes the orb containing the Infinity Post from her. 70s allows himself and Katie to get captured by Jjs and his troupe as he contacts him on his whereabouts before leaving his Sivan ship to save Katie by giving her his helmet. Inside Jjs’s own ship, he was about to ban 70s for having deceived him until 70s offers to give him the MacGuffin if he manages to get it back from Hayden and his army. Not long after, Hawk, Ren, and G4ryoot pilot the Sivan, making their way into Jjs’s ship to save 70s. The trio threatens to blow up Jjs’ ship with one of Ren’s weapons before 70s persuades them about the compromise he made with Jjs. Hayden the Accuser, meanwhile, cuts his deal with Thanos now that he has one of the Infinity Posts and sets to destroy SBC himself.

70s, back on-board the Sivan alongside Katie, Hawk, Ren, and G4ryoot, start devising a plan to stop Hayden from using the powers of the Infinity Post to destroy the SBC planet, whilst issuing Invision HQ a warning about Hayden’s arrival. (“Gives You Hell” by All-American Rejects plays during the team’s planning) Ren plans to blow a hole inside of Hayden’s ship, the Dark Shellder, so he and the others can board it while Katie plans to cut the security system and then blast Hayden with a ban-cannon made by Ren. The first phase of the plan succeeds and the members board the Dark Shellder, before Ren then aides Jjs and the Managers to defend the SBC planet from the ResetEra army. While 70s, Hawk, and G4ryoot make their way to the bridge of the ship, Katie confronts More. She manages to defeat More, who then makes her escape. Taking notice of the infiltration, Hayden orders his ship to crash into the SBC planet.

The members easily get past the bridge to face Hayden, but they are outmatched by him until Ren crashes the Sivan into the Dark Shellder. As the ship is about to crash land into the SBC planet, G4ryoot shields 70s, Katie, Ren, and Hawk, sacrificing his life in the process, and then uttering his final words “Our balls itch.” G4ryoot is reduced to a pile of branches. Hayden survives the crash due to the Infinity Post’s power. As Hayden raised his warhammer, preparing to destroy the SBC planet, 70s stops him by challenging him to a dance-off (with “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles playing), in order to distract him so he could release the Infinity Post from Hayden’s weapon. Ren and Hawk destroy the warhammer while 70s grabs hold of the Infinity Post, which in turn makes him react in the similar way as to what happened to WhoBob’s assistant. Katie then advises 70s to hold her hand. Hawk and Ren do the same, letting the power of the Infinity Stone spread to them, using the power to defeat Hayden.

In the end of the battle, Ren collects G4ryoot’s remains while 70s is about to face Jjs once again about the deal they made with the orb. 70s gives Jjs the orb without hesitation. However, it is later revealed that he had switched the orbs while the one with the Infinity Post is given to Invision HQ. When giving them the artifact, 70s then learns that he is half human and beholds the unusual genes that allowed for him to hold onto the Infinity Post without dying.

A celebration is held on Jjs’ ship. He finds out that the orb was a fake, but is smiling nonetheless. The group of members are now officially known as the Guardians of the Community to cap it all off…but not without a potential sequel hook (AN: if I feel I’m up for it, of course) where 70s opens up Sara’s gift, revealed to be a Bikini Top Season 2 mixtape (“You Found Me” by The Fray plays during this scene). 70s, who isn’t amused to have been given a gift relating to a spin-off that he is no longer proud of, moves past his thoughts on the days of old to focus on what to do now as leader of the Guardians. Ren is also shown with a planting pot containing a stick that used to be G4ryoot. In a post-credits scene, Baby G4ryoot is seen dancing to “1999” by Big K.R.I.T..


Guardians of the Community Awesome Mix Vol. 1:


1. "Beat Control" - Tilly and the Wall
2. "Forever Young" - Youth Group
3. "Fireflies" - Owl City
4. "Our Song" - Taylor Swift
5. "Mama Who Bore Me" - Lea Michele
6. "Don't Trust Me" - 3OH!3
7. "Gives You Hell" - All-American Rejects
8. "Shut Up and Drive" - Rihanna
9. "Love Song" - Sara Bareilles
10. "You Found Me" - The Fray


Edited by Steel Sponge
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91. My Little SBC: The Movie

Film: My Little Pony: The Movie


The ponies of SBCquestria prepare for their first All-Nighter Festival overseen by Princess Cha in Discordlot. The festivities are interrupted by an invasion of monsters by the unicorn Tempest Mothra, who is under orders from the Storm King to capture SBCquestria’s princess for him to harness their magic in exchange for restoring her broken horn. Cha escapes being petrified by Tempest Mothra’s magical orbs after Princess Katniss gives Princess Katie incomplete instructions to seek help from “the queen of the narwhals” beyond SBCquestria. Joined by her friends Steel, Hawk, SOF, Homie, DarknesDG and Jjs, Cha sets out to find the “narwhals”.


Cha’s group travel to the desert city of Redditown, where a feline con artist named NewLeafFan offers to escort them, secretly intending to sell them to settle a debt. As NLF began to develop a genuine friendship with them, Cha discovers an atlas that reveals the “narwhals” to be sea unicorns, exposing NLF’s treachery. When Tempest Mothra arrives in pursuit of Cha, the group evades her aboard a delivery airship run by birdlike pirates (one of the members being JCM in a cameo), whom Hawk persuades to take them to the narwhals’ kingdom on Mount Horn. In a moment over-excitement, Hawk performs a Sonic Rainboom that inadvertently gives their location away to Tempest Mothra, forcing the group to reach Mount Horn in a makeshift hot air balloon.


While exploring the narwhals’ deserted kingdom, the ponies are saved from drowning in an underwater cavern by the sea pony Princess SG, who leads them to her undersea home of Seaquestria. SG reveals her kind to be sea unicorns, transformed by a magic pearl used by her father Wumbo, to hide from the Storm King. Cha desperately attempts to steal it while letting her friends unknowingly distracts the sea pony. Her plans backfires when she triggers an alarm before SOF persuade Wumbo to give them a pearl, resulting in the entire group getting banished to the surface. After being abandoned by her friends over this, Cha is kidnapped by Mothra, who gains her sympathy upon revealing how the loss of her as a filly after an Ursa minor attack destabilized her magic and caused her own friends to stun her. Meanwhile, Jjs alerts the ponies to Cha’s capture, and they returns to Discordlot to rescue her with the help of NLF, the pirates and SG.


In Discordlot, Mothra delivers Cha to the Storm King, who absorbed the princesses’ magic to empower his mystical staff of Miraculous and conjure a powerful storm against Cha’s friends, betraying Mothra as well. Cha saves Mothra and reconciles with her friends, who helps her takes the staff and the storm. The Storm King’s body falls and shatters, while the group uses the staff to restore the damaged city. The All-Nighter Festival resumes, and the ponies celebrate with all the allies Cha’s group have made on their on their adventures. Encouraged by Cha, Mothra joins in by producing a fireworks display with her broken horn, and happily accepts the group’s friendship.


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Here's a special Halloween (or Christmas, or both) SBCinema for the season.

92. The Nightmare Before Snowcember Ball

Film: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Octerror Town is a fantasy world filled with various monsters and supernatural beings associated with the holiday. Jjs Skellington, the "Pumpkin King" and leader of the town, leads them in organizing the annual Halloween celebrations for an event known as Octerror Fest. However, privately Jjs has grown weary of the same routine year after year and wants something new. Wandering in the woods the morning after Octerror Fest, he stumbles across seven trees containing doors leading to towns representing various holidays, and opens a portal to Snowcember Town. Awed by the unfamiliar holiday, Jjs returns to Octerror Town to show the residents his findings, but they fail to grasp the idea of Christmas and compare everything to their ideas of Halloween, although they do relate to one Snowcember Town character; a red lobster-like king who flies at night named “OMJ Claws”. Jjs sequesters himself in his tower to study Christmas and find a way to rationally explain it, but cannot. He ultimately decides that it's unfair for Snowcember Town alone to enjoy the holiday and announces that he and the citizens of Octerror Town will take over Christmas this year.

Jjs assigns the citizens of Octerror Town Christmas-themed jobs, including singing carols, making presents, and building a sleigh to be pulled by skeletal reindeer. WhoBob, a beautiful rag doll that is secretly in love with Jjs, experiences a vision that their efforts will end in disaster, but Jjs dismisses this and assigns him the task of sewing him a red coat to wear. He also tasks Dman, NegiSpongie and JCM in a cameo, a trio of mischievous trick-treating children, to abduct OMJ Claus and bring him back to Octerror Town. Jjs tells OMJ he will be bringing Christmas to the world in his place this year. Jjs orders the trio to keep OMJ safe, but the children instead deliver OMJ to NightmareFan17, a gambling-addicted bogeyman, who plots to play a game with OMJ's life at stake. WhoBob attempts to rescue OMJ so he can stop Jjs, but NightmareFan captures him as well.

Jjs departs to deliver presents to the world, but the Halloween-styled gifts terrify and attack the populace. While the media sends word via radio about the OMJ-impostor, the military takes action and shoots down Jjs, causing him to crash in a cemetery. While the devastated residents of Octerror Town think he's been blown up and killed, Jjs has survived, and while he bemoans the disaster he has made of Christmas, he finds he enjoyed the experience of scaring the children nonetheless, reigniting his love of Halloween. But first, he realizes he must take action to fix his mess. Jjs returns to Octerror Town and finds NightmareFan's lair. NightmareFan tries to kill Jjs, but Jjs rips apart the thread holding his cloth form together, revealing a massive pile of bugs that fall into NightmareFan's cauldron, killing him. Jjs apologizes to OMJ for his actions and OMJ, while still angry at Jjs for ruining Christmas and not listening to WhoBob's warnings, assures him that he can fix things and returns to Snowcember Town.

As OMJ replaces the Halloween-style presents with genuine ones, the townspeople of Octerror Town celebrate Jjs's survival and return. OMJ then visits Octerror Town and brings them a snowfall for the residents to play with, which in a way, fulfills Jjs's original dream. As he flies away, OMJ shouts out, "Happy Halloween!" and Jjs replies by shouting, "Merry Christmas!". In the graveyard, Jjs and WhoBob declare their love for each other.

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93. Dead Spin-Off Writers Society

Film: Dead Poets Society

Webizoid, teenj12, Fa, 70s, tvguy, Sabre and Wumbo are senior students of the SBC Atlantis Academy, an elite prep school, whose ethos is defined by the headmaster terminoob as "tradition, honor, discipline, and excellence". Both Webby and teenj are under harsh parental pressure to become a doctor and a lawyer respectively, but teenj wants to be a writer, and Webby discovers a passion for acting. The teaching methods of their new English teacher, Mr. Clappy are unorthodox by Atlantis standards, whistling the 1812 Overture and taking them out of the classroom to focus on the idea of carpe diem. He tells the students that they may call him "O Claptain! My Claptain!," in reference to a Walt Whitman poem, if they feel daring. In another class, Clappy has Fa read the introduction to their poetry textbook, prescribing a mathematical formula to rate the quality of poetry which Clappy finds ridiculous, and he instructs his pupils to rip the introduction out of their books, to the amazement of one of his colleagues (JCM in a cameo). Later he has the students stand on his desk in order to look at the world in a different way. The boys discover that Clappy was a former student at Atlantis and decide to secretly revive the school's literary fanfiction club, the "Dead Spin-Off Writers Society," to which Clappy was a member of, meeting in a cave off of the school grounds.

When the school administration and the parents (specifically Webby’s mother) gets wind of the secret club – something that is against regulations – the dean promises to suspend any student who is a member. Due to self-consciousness, teenj fails to complete a writing assignment and Clappy takes him through an exercise in self-expression, realizing the potential he possesses. 70s publishes an unauthorized article in the school newspaper, asserting that girls should be admitted to Atlantis. At the resulting school inquiry, he offers a phone call from God in support, incurring the headmaster's wrath. Mr. Clappy classes draw a lot of attention from the administration and the students' parents. After terminoob speaks with Clappy about how using his unorthodox teaching methods is dangerous to the boys, Clappy tells the boys to "be wise, not stupid" about protesting against the system.

Fa meets and falls in love with a girl named NegiSpongie, using his new-found love of poetry to woo her. Negi is already dating Steel Sponge, a football player from a local public school whose family is friends with Fa’s. Fa presents one of these poems in class, and is applauded by Clappy for writing a heartfelt poem on love. Fa travels to Negi’s public school and recites his poem to her, later convincing her to go to a play with him. Webby wants to be an actor through Clappy's teaching methods but knows his mother will disapprove and Clappy will be blamed for it. Without his mother's knowledge, he auditions for the role of Banquo in a production of Macbeth. His mother finds out and orders Webby to withdraw. Webby asks Clappy for advice and is advised to talk to his mother to make her understand how he feels. But Webby cannot muster the courage to do so. Instead, he goes against his mother's wishes. His mother shows up at the end of the play and blamed Mr. Clappy for convincing Webby to participate in Macbeth. She takes Webby home and tells him that she intends to enroll him in a military school to prepare him for Harvard University, and a career in medicine, so that Webby is distanced from Mr. Clappy. Unable to cope with the future that awaits him or to make his mother understand his feeling and be reasonable, Webby commits suicide.

Following her son’s suicide, Webby’s mom informs the headmaster terminoob to investigate Dead Spin-Off Writers Society's activities by reviewing their secret meetings to see who's responsible for Webby's apparently suicide and behind the secret group. tvguy blames Webby’s death on Clappy to escape punishment for his own participation in the Dead Spin-Off Writers Society, and names the other members. Confronted by 70s, tvguy urges the rest of them to let Clappy take the fall. 70s punches tvguy and is expelled. In the aftermath of Webby’s death, each of the boys are reported to terminoob's office for questions about the club which they'd organized without permission. terminoob forces teenj, Fa, Wumbo and Sabre that they (alongside 70s and tvguy) admit being members of the Dead Spin-Off Writers Society. He then makes them sign a document blaming their loyal teacher Mr. Clappy for encouraging Webby to defy his mother and convincing the boys to organize the Dead Spin-Off Writers Society. teenj sees that the others boys and Webby’s mother's signatures are already on the document, so he's the last one to sign the statement, and is threatened by his equally stern father Nuggets to sign it. Clappy is fired after terminoob finds out about the organization.

The boys return to English class, now being taught by terminoob until a permanent English teacher come to replace Clappy during the winter break. He has the boys read the introductory essay only to find that they had all ripped it out. Clappy enters the room to retrieve a few belongings. teenj explains to Clappy that the boys were forced to confirm and signing the confession that Clappy is blamed for both Webby suicide and the society by headmaster terminoob. terminoob orders teenj to be quiet and repeats his demands that Clappy leave. As Clappy is about to exit, teenj for the first time breaks his reserve, calling out "O Claptain! My Claptain!” and stands on his desk. terminoob warns teenj to sit down or face expulsion. Much of the class, including Fa, Sabre, and Wumbo, climb onto their desks and look to Clappy, ignoring terminoob's orders and until he gives up. Touched by this gesture, Clappy proudly thanks the boys and departs.

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Here's another special holiday SBCinema for the season.

94. sbelf

Film: Elf

On Christmas Eve, a baby boy at an orphanage crawls into Santa Claus’s sack, and is unwittingly transported back to the North Pole. When the baby is discovered at the workshop, the elves name him sbl after the brand label on his diaper, and Papa Elf, Danny DeVito, adopts and raises him. sbl grows up at the North Pole, believing he is an elf and accepted by the elf community, but due to his human size, he is unable to keep up with the other elves and demoted to the demeaning job of toy testing. Soon, sbl overhears that he is a human, and Papa DeVito explains that sbl was born to Wumbo and SG and given up for adoption. SG subsequently died, and Wumbo, who now works as a children's book publisher at the Empire State Building in New York City, is unaware of sbl's existence. To sbl's horror, Santa reveals that Wumbo is on the naughty list due to his selfish and unscrupulous demeanor, but suggests sbl could help redeem him.

sbl promptly travels to New York and finds his father at work, but even after he mentions Susan Wells, Wumbo misinterprets him as a dysfunctional Christmas-gram messenger and has him kicked out of the premises. Inspired by a sarcastic remark from a security guard (JCM in a cameo), sbl heads to a local Macy’s department store (yay product placement), where the manager mistakes him for an employee. At the store's Santa Land, he meets SpongeKid, an unenthusiastic employee with whom he is instantly smitten. After hearing that Santa will be at the store the following day, sbl jubilantly decorates Santa Land overnight. When sbl realizes that the Macy’s Santa is not the real Santa, he unmasks him (revealing it to be Peter Griffin in a surprise cameo nyehehehe) and causes a wild tumult in the store that lands sbl in jail.

Wumbo reluctantly bails sbl out and takes him to a doctor for a DNA test, which confirms that sbl is in fact his long-lost son. The doctor convinces Wumbo to take sbl home to meet his stepmother Mimi and twelve-year-old half-brother SOF believing once he is faced with reality he will drop the “elf thing” and move on as a regular adult. Wumbo and SOF are put off by sbl's strange behavior, but Mimi insists that they care for him until he "recovers." SOF eventually warms up to sbl after sbl defends him from a gang of bullies in a snowball fight, and SOF encourages Sbl to ask SpongeKid on a date, which she accepts. During the date, the two fall in love. Meanwhile, Wumbo's company is in trouble after their most recent book, “An Unforgettable Luncheon”, fails to sell. Wumbo's boss, Hawk, lays down a hard deadline for Wumbo to have a new book ready by Christmas Eve. In desperation, Wumbo and his team secure a meeting with best-selling children's author CDCB. sbl interrupts the meeting to boast of his newfound love and mistakes CDCB, who has dwarfism, for an elf. sbl unintentionally insults CDCB and pesters him into losing his temper. An angered and insulted CDCB attacks sbl and walks out on Wumbo, who snaps in anger at sbl for ruining the meeting and harshly disowns him. Heartbroken, sbl leaves a note for Wumbo, Mimi, and SOF on an Etch a Sketch (yay more product placement), and wanders about in the streets, lamenting that he does not fit in anywhere.

On Christmas Eve, after finding CDCB's notebook full of ideas, Wumbo and his team scramble to create a book to pitch. As Wumbo prepares to pitch the book to Hawk that evening, SOF, who found sbl's note, arrives and informs Wumbo that sbl is gone. Realizing he was wrong and forced to choose between his job or his family, Wumbo quits his job and leaves with SOF to find sbl. As sbl wanders the streets, he watches Santa's sleigh crash in Central Park, attracting a large crowd. sbl tracks down Santa, who explains that the sleigh has lost its engine and cannot fly without it due to a shortage of Christmas spirit. sbl finds the engine and is reunited with Wumbo and SOF. Wumbo apologizes to sbl and accepts him as his son. sbl then takes them to meet Santa, who proves himself to SOF by showing him what he truly wanted for Christmas. SOF takes Santa's list and reads it in front of television news cameras gathered outside the park, proving that Santa Claus is real. The Central Park Rangers, who have a grudge against Santa for placing them on the naughty list, chase the sleigh as sbl tries to reattach the engine. SpongeKid leads the crowd in singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town" helping raise enough Christmas spirit to fully power the sleigh without the engine for the first time in years.

By the next Christmas, Wumbo starts his own publishing company with a best-selling book about sbl's stories. sbl and SpongeKid, now married, bring their newborn daughter Meg to visit Papa DeVito.

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Kicking off the new year with the start of a three-part SBCinema arc. Yep, we're finally doing the Star Wars OT. I'm not going to be using the same user cast from the prequel parodies because they are dated, but did keep a few where I saw fit. It wouldn't be a Star Wars parody without some inconsistencies. :funny: 

95. SBC Wars Episode IV: A New Woke

Film: Star Wars (1977)

Amid a galactic civil war, the Universe Alliance spies have stolen plans to the SBC Empire’s Death Discord, a massive space station capable of destroying an entire planet. Senator Princess Cha of V13 Sponge, secretly one of the rebellion's leaders, has obtained its schematics, but her starship is intercepted by an SBC Star Destroyer under the command of the ruthless Darth Kever. Before she is captured, Cha hides the plans in the memory of astromech droid Robot Jones, who flees in an escape pod to the desert planet Xatooine accompanied by protocol droid MEE6.

The droids are captured by spambot traders, who sell them to moisture farmers Sebby and Negi and their nephew Fred Skywalker. While cleaning Robot Jones, Fred accidentally triggers part of a holographic recording of Cha, in which she requests help from Old Man Jenkenobi. Later, after Fred finds Robot Jones missing, he is attacked by scavenging sand people while searching for him, but is rescued by elderly hermit Old Man Jenkenobi, an acquaintance of Fred's, who reveals that "OMJ" is his true name. OMJ tells Fred of his days as one of the Jedi Knights, the former peacekeepers of the Universe Republic who drew mystical abilities from a metaphysical energy field known as “the Force” (or could just be them getting high, who knows), but were ultimately hunted to near-extinction by the SBC Empire. Fred learns that his father fought alongside OMJ as a Jedi Knight during the Drone Wars until Kever, OMJ's former pupil, turned to the dark side of the Force and murdered him. OMJ presents Fred with his father's old lightsaber, the signature weapon of Jedi Knights.

Robot Jones plays Cha's full message, in which she begs OMJ to take the Death Discord plans to her home planet of V13 Sponge and give them to her father Wumbo, a fellow veteran, for analysis. Although Fred initially declines OMJ's offer to accompany him to V13 Sponge and learn the ways of the Force, he is left with no choice after discovering that stormtroopers have killed his aunt and uncle and destroyed their farm in their search for the droids. Traveling to a cantina in Downtown to search for transport, Fred and OMJ hire Hawk Solo, a smuggler with a price on his head due to his debt to local mobster Elastic the Hutt. Pursued by stormtroopers, OMJ, Fred, Robot Jones and MEE6 flee Xatooine with Hawk and his dog co-pilot G4ry on their ship the Millennium Hellcat. As they reach the planet’s orbit, two Star Destroyers try to intercept them, but Hawk is able to jump to hyperspace by reaching lightspeed.

Before the Hellcat can reach V13 Sponge, Death Discord commander Grand Moff Tucker interrogates Cha about the location of the rebels's secret base, with the threat of destroying her home planet, and, when she answers that the base is on Twitter, he orders V13 Sponge destroyed simply as a show of force. As the group arrives in the asteroid field that now stands in place of V13 Sponge, Hawk spots a TIE fighter and is taunted into chasing it and shooting it down, allowing the Hellcat to be captured by the space station's tractor beam. Inside the Death Discord, OMJ attempts to disable the tractor beam, and Fred persuades Hawk and G4ry to help him rescue Cha after discovering that she is scheduled to be executed. After disabling the tractor beam, OMJ sacrifices his life in a lightsaber duel with Kever, allowing the rest of the group to escape the Death Discord with Cha. Using a tracking device, the Empire tracks the Hellcat to the hidden rebel base, actually located on Reddit IV.

Cha's schematics reveal a hidden weakness in the Death Discord's thermal exhaust port, which could allow the rebels to trigger a chain reaction in its main reactor with a precise torpedo strike. While Hawk abandons the rebels after collecting his reward for rescuing Cha, Fred joins their starfighter squadron in a desperate attack against the approaching Death Discord. (Note: JCM makes a cameo as one of the starfighters) In the ensuing battle, the rebels suffer heavy losses as Kever leads a squadron of TIE fighters against them, but Hawk unexpectedly returns to aid them in the Hellcat, narrowly managing to save Fred before Kever can shoot him down. Guided by the disembodied voice of OMJ’s spirit, Fred turns off his targeting computer and uses the Force to guide his torpedoes into the exhaust port, destroying the Death Discord moments before it fires on the rebel base. In a triumphant ceremony at the base, Cha awards Fred and Hawk medals for their heroism.

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96. SBC Wars Episode V: The Kevin Strikes Back

Film: The Empire Strikes Back

Three years after the destruction of the Death Discord, the Universe Alliance, led by Princess Cha, has set up a new base on the ice planet Cytube. The Imperial fleet, led by a merciless Darth Kever hunts for the new Rebel base by dispatching probe droids across the galaxy. Fred Skywalker is captured by a wampa while investigating one such probe and dragged into the creature's cave, but manages to escape using the Force to retrieve his lightsaber. Before Fred succumbs to hypothermia, the Force spirit of his deceased mentor, OMJ, instructs him to go to the swamp planet Instagah to train under Jedi Master YOWMda. Hawk Solo discovers Fred and manages to keep him alive by placing him inside the body of his dead Tauntaun mount, and the two are rescued by a search party the following morning.

The probe alerts the Imperial fleet to the Rebels' location. The SBC Empire launches a large-scale attack using AT-AT walkers to capture the base, forcing the Rebels to evacuate. Hawk and Cha escape with MEE6 and G4ry on the Millennium Hellcat, but the ship's hyperdrive malfunctions. They hide in an asteroid field, where Hawk and Cha become romantic amidst the tensions. Several bounty hunters (PatBack Fett, JCM in a cameo, Aya and Ding), summoned by Kever, assist in searching for the Hellcat. Meanwhile, Fred travels with Robot Jones in his X-wing fighter to Instagah, where he crash-lands. He meets a diminutive creature who later reveals himself to be YOWMda; the Jedi master reluctantly accepts Fred as his apprentice after conferring with OMJ's spirit. Fred learns more about the Force from YOWMda, who lifts his X-wing out of the swamp using the Force.

After evading the Imperial fleet, Hawk's group travels to the floating Cloud City on the planet Rateyourmusic, which is governed by Hawk's old friend Goobz Calrissian. Bounty hunter PatBack tracks the Hellcat and, with Kever, forces Goobz to hand the group over to the Empire. Kever plans to use the group as bait to lure Fred, intending to capture him and turn him to the dark side of the Force. Fred experiences a premonition of Hawk and Cha in pain and, against the wishes of YOWMda and OMJ, abandons his training to rescue them.

Kever intends to hold Fred in suspended animation by imprisoning him in carbonite, selecting Hawk to be frozen as an experiment. Hawk survives the process and is given to PatBack, who plans to collect a bounty on him from Elastic the Hutt. Goobz, still loyal to Hawk, frees Cha and G4ry, but they are too late to stop PatBack from departing with Hawk. Under attack from stormtroopers, they fight their way back to the Hellcat and flee the city. Meanwhile, Fred arrives and engages Kever in a lightsaber duel that leads them over the city's central air shaft. Kever severs Fred's right hand, disarming him, and tempts him to embrace his anger and join the dark side. Fred claims that Kever killed his father, but Kever reveals that he is Fred's biological father (!!!). Disbelieving the truth, Fred drops into the air shaft and is ejected beneath the floating city, where he grabs hold of an antenna. He reaches out telepathically to Cha, who senses him and persuades Goobz and G4ry to turn back. After Fred is brought aboard, they are chased by TIE fighters towards Kever on his Star Destroyer and find that the Hellcat's hyperdrive has been sabotaged, but Robot Jones reactivates it, allowing them to escape.

Fred rejoins the Rebel fleet and his severed hand is replaced with a robotic prosthesis. Goobz and G4ry begin their quest to save Hawk, as the other rebels watch the Hellcat depart.

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Last part of this arc. And yes, I'll eventually do the sequels in Season 6. 

97. SBC Wars Episode VI: Return of the King

Film: Return of the Jedi

A year after Hawk Solo’s capture, MEE6 and Robot Jones are sent to crime lord Elastic the Hutt’s (who is furious he was robbed of his original spot as Anakin from the prequels) palace on Xatooine in a trade bargain made by Fred Skywalker to rescue Hawk. Disguised as a bounty hunter, Princess Cha infiltrates the palace under the pretense of collecting the bounty on G4ry and unfreezes Hawk, but is caught and enslaved. Fred soon arrives to bargain for his friends' release, but Elastic drops him through a trapdoor to be eaten by a rancor. After Fred kills it, Elastic sentences him, Hawk, and G4ry to death by being fed to the Sarlacc, a huge, carnivorous plant-like desert beast. Having hidden his new lightsaber inside Robot Jones, Fred frees himself and his friends, and they battle Elastic's men. During the chaos, PatBack Fett falls into the Sarlacc after Hawk inadvertently damages his jetpack (don’t worry though, he’ll turn up alive in about 5 years) and Cha strangles Elastic to death with her chains. The group then destroy Elastic's sail barge and escape before it explodes.

As the others rendezvous with the Universe Alliance, Fred returns to Instagah to complete his Jedi training with YOWMda, whom he discovers is dying. YOWMda confirms that Darth Kever, once known as Kevin Skywalker, is Fred's father, before dying and becoming one with the Force. OMJ’s force ghost then reveals that Cha is Fred's twin sister, and tells him that he must face Kever again to finish his training and defeat the SBC Empire.

The Alliance learns that the Empire has been constructing a second Death Discord under the supervision of the Emperor himself, WhaleBlubber. As the station is protected by an energy shield, Hawk leads a strike team which includes Fred, Cha and G4ry to destroy the shield generator on the forest moon of YouTubendor; doing so will allow the Rebel Fleet to destroy the Death Discord. The team uses a stolen Imperial shuttle to arrive undetected, and encounters a tribe of Subscribers (one of which being JCM in a cameo), gaining their trust after an initial conflict. Later, Fred tells Cha that she is his sister, Kever is their father, and that he must confront him. Surrendering to Imperial troops, he is brought before Kever, and fails to convince his father to reject the dark side of the Force.

Kever takes Fred to meet Emperor Blubber, who intends to turn him to the dark side, and reveals that his friends and the Rebel Fleet are headed into a trap. On Endor, Hawk's team is captured by Imperial forces, but a counterattack by the Subscribers allows the Rebels to infiltrate the shield generator. Meanwhile, Goobz Calrissian in the Millennium Hellcat and Admiral Dragiiin (who is also somewhat annoyed he lost his villain spot, but makes do with the meme role) lead the rebel assault on the second Death Discord, only to find its shield still active, and the Imperial fleet waiting for them. Dragiiin shouts: IT’S A TRAP!

Emperor Blubber reveals to Fred that the Death Discord is fully operational and orders the firing of its massive superlaser, destroying a Rebel starship. He then tempts Fred to give in to his anger. Fred attempts to attack him, but Kever intervenes and the two engage in a lightsaber duel. Kever senses that Fred has a sister and threatens to turn her to the dark side. Enraged, Fred defeats Kever, severing his prosthetic hand. Emperor Blubber entreats Fred to kill Kever and take his place, but Fred refuses, declaring himself a Jedi like his father before him. Furious, Emperor Blubber tortures Fred with Force lightning. Unwilling to let his son die, Kever betrays the Emperor Blubber and throws him down a reactor shaft to his death, but is mortally electrocuted in the process. At his father's last request, Fred removes his mask, and the redeemed Kevin Skywalker dies in his son's arms.

After the strike team destroys the shield generator, Goobz leads a group of Rebel fighters into the Death Discord's core. While the Rebel fleet destroys the Super Star Destroyer Executor, Goobz and X-wing fighter pilot Trophy destroy the Death Discord's main reactor, escaping from the station's infrastructure before it explodes. Fred also escapes in a shuttle with his father's body. On YouTubendor, Cha reveals to Hawk that Fred is her brother, and they kiss. Fred later cremates his father's body on a pyre before reuniting with his friends. As the Rebels and the galaxy celebrate the Empire's defeat, Fred sees the spirits of YOWMda, OMJ, and Kevin watching over him.

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98. Memeagascar

Film: Madagascar

At the Central Park Zoo, Omair the zebra celebrates his tenth birthday but has grown bored with his daily routine and longs to experience the wild. Omair's best friend is Rusty the lion, who enjoys showing off for the public and his celebrity status as "the king of New York". Rusty attempts to cheer Omair up, but Omair, still unsatisfied, learns that the zoo's penguins, jjs, Clappy, Trophy, and Storm, are trying to make a masterfully planned escape, and follows them out. Rusty, Dman the graph-ahem, giraffe, and Katie the hippopotamus pursue Omair and attempt to convince him to return. The four, along with the penguins and two chimpanzees named OWM and JCM in a cameo, converge at Grand Central Station, where the authorities sedate them using tranquilizer guns. Under pressure from anti-captivity activists, the zoo is forced to ship the escaped animals by sea to a Kenyan wildlife preserve. During their travels, the penguins escape and take over the ship, intent on taking it to Antarctica to establish their own country. Their antics on the bridge cause the crates containing Rusty, Omair, Dman, and Katie to fall overboard and wash ashore on the legendary island of Memeagascar.

The animals come across a pack of lemurs led by King 4EverGreen XIII, along with his personal adviser Renegade and his biggest fan, the mouse lemur Appy. The predatory fossa attack the lemurs, but are scared off by Rusty's fearsome appearance. Rusty blames Omair for the group's predicament and attempts to signal for help to get back to civilization. Omair finds the wild to be exactly what he was looking for, and Katie and Dman soon join him in enjoying the island. Rusty eventually comes around, but without the raw steaks he was provided at the zoo, hunger sets in and his prey drive begins to show. King 4EverGreen has the lemurs befriend the zoo animals in the hope that Rusty's presence will keep the fossa at bay, despite Renegade's warnings about Rusty's predatory nature. When Rusty loses control and attacks Omair, 4EverGreen realizes that he is a threat and banishes him to the predator side of the island, where the fossa live. Seeing what has happened to Rusty, and how dangerous the wild can be, Omair begins to regret his decision to leave the zoo.

The penguins, having been to Antarctica and found it inhospitable, land the ship at Memeagascar. Seeing the chance to return Rusty to New York, Omair crosses over to the predator side and attempts to convince the grizzled, starving Rusty to return, but Rusty refuses out of fear that he will attack Omair again. The fossa attack Omair, and though Katie, Dman, and the penguins come to the rescue, they are outnumbered. Rusty overcomes his predatory instincts, rescues his friends, and scares the fossa away from the lemur territory forever. The lemurs regain their respect for Rusty, and the penguins satisfy his hunger by feeding him sushi. As the lemurs throw a farewell celebration for the foursome, the penguins decide not to break the news that the ship has run out of fuel. We did it boys.



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99. Wumbo

Film: Dumbo

In March 1941, a flock of storks deliver babies to circus animals within the "Winter Quarters" in Canada. All the mothers receive their parcels before departure except the elephant Mrs. Mumbo. During travel on a train, a lost stork brings her an elephant who, to the other elephants' surprise, is adorned with extraordinarily large ears and a keen study of Wumbology. He is made an object of ridicule and given the nickname "Wumbo". Mrs. Mumbo attempts to remain dignified and treats her child with all her maternal love, but when a group of rascals takes to making Wumbo, Mrs. Mumbo catches one of them with her trunk and spanks him. The circus ringmaster, sbl, deems Mrs. Mumbo mad and has her locked in a cage. The lone Wumbo is made a pariah amongst the rest of the circus troupe. A small mouse named SOF consoles Wumbo and vows to make him a star.

After being secretly encouraged by SOF, the ringmaster makes Wumbo the top of an elephant pyramid stunt. The performance goes awry when Wumbo trips over his ears and misses his target, causing the other elephants to suffer various injuries, and bring down the big top. Wumbo is made into a clown as a result, to the shame of the other elephants, and plays the main role in an act that involves him falling into a vat of pie filling. Despite his newfound popularity and fame, Wumbo hates this job, and is now more miserable than ever. To cheer Wumbo up, SOF takes him to visit his imprisoned mother. The two are unable to see each other face to face, and can only entwine trunks. On the way back, Wumbo cries and then gets the hiccups, so SOF takes him for a drink of water from a bucket that, unknown to them, has accidentally had a bottle of champagne spilled into it by the clowns. As a result, Wumbo and SOF both get drunk and have surreal hallucinations of pink elephants and other trippy, whack things you wouldn’t believe.

The next morning, Wumbo and SOF are awakened by a group of Canadian beavers (we at SBCinema will not be using the original racist crow caricatures) who are surprised to find an elephant sitting on the highest branches of a tree. As the initial astonishment passes, SOF surmises that Wumbo had managed to achieve flight using his large ears as wings. SOF persuades an insecure Wumbo to use this gift with the support of the beavers' leader, Carotte, who gives Wumbo one of his buck teeth and convinces him that it carries magic properties that will allow him to fly. Back at the circus, SOF proposes to Wumbo to transform his clown act into a flying performance. As Wumbo unfolds his ears during the plummet, he loses the tooth and panics. SOF quickly confesses that the tooth was never magical, and that he is still able to fly. Wumbo is able to pull out of the dive and flies around the circus, finally striking back at his tormentors as a stunned audience looks on in amazement. After this performance, Wumbo becomes a media sensation, SOF becomes his manager and the new owner of the circus, Wumbo and Mrs. Mumbo are given a private car on the circus train, and while the sentient tender engine, JCM in a cameo, travels to the next destination, Mrs. Mumbo, Wumbo and the beavers wave goodbye in the distance, with the little elephant's new friends wishing him good luck. It is said Wumbo later went on to start his own successful music career. Many years from now, this movie will also get a live-action remake, but nobody will care.


Stay tuned for the 100th episode and S5 finale, guest written by the original creator himself, Clappy!

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