SBCinema

[OWM]

Whoa, I forgot all about this lit and that I was following it.

[Clappy]

It's funny that this was bumped tonight because.....

 

58. Never Mania

Film: Peter Pan

 

Set in SBC, Clappy and Jelly Darling's preparations to attend a party are disrupted by the antics of their boys, Omair and Leeroy, acting out a story about Timo Herron and the pirates, told to them by their older sister, Gwendy. Their father, who is fed up with the stories that have made his children less practical, angrily declares that Gwendy has gotten too old to continue staying in the nursery with them, and it's time for her to grow up and have a community of her own. That night, they are visited in the nursery by Ssj aka Timo Herron himself, who teaches them to touch themselves at night with the help of his pixie friend, DadMom AngryBell, and takes them with him to the island of Never Mania.

 

A ship of pirates is anchored off Never Mania, commanded by Captain Abney with his sidekick, Mr. Phil. Abney boldly plots to take revenge upon Timo Herron for cutting off his admin powers, but he trembles at the presence of Grubby Grouper, which consumed Abney’s hand and is eager to taste the rest of him. Abney also forms a plan to find Timo's hideout using the knowledge of Aya Lily. The crew's restlessness is interrupted by the arrival of Timo and the Five. DadMom AngryBell, who is very jealous of Herron’s attention to Gwendy, persuades Team Rage that Herron has ordered them to shoot down Gwendy, which DadMom refers to as a “Gwendy cat”. DadMom AngryBell's treachery is soon found out, and Timo banishes her. Omair and Leeroy set off with Team Rage to find the island's members, who instead capture them, believing them to be the ones responsible for taking Chief JCM (in a cameo)'s daughter, Aya Lily.

 

Meanwhile, Timo takes Gwendy to see the oooooofmaids. The mischievous oooooofmaids delight in tormenting Gwendy but flee in terror at the sight of Abney. Timo and Gwendy see that Abney and Phil have captured Aya Lily, so that they might coerce her into revealing Timo's hideout. Timo and Gwendy free her, and Timo is honored by the tribe by allowing them to Tease Ssj. Abney then plots to take advantage of DadMom AngryBell's jealousy of Gwendy, tricking her into revealing the location of Timo's lair. Gwendy and her brothers eventually grow sick of all the endless children drama and plan to return home. They invite Timo and Team Rage to return to London and be adopted by Clappy and User Most Missed. Team Rage agrees, but Timo is so set against banning them that he refuses them to leave Never Mania, presumptuously assuming that all of them will return shortly. The pirates lie in wait and capture Team Rage and our heroes as they exit, leaving behind a time bomb to kill Timo. DadMom AngryBell learns of the plot just in time to snatch the bomb from Timo as it explodes.

 

Timo rescues DadMom AngryBell from the rubble and together they confront the pirates, releasing the children before they can be forced to walk the plank. Timo engages Abney in single combat as the children fight off the crew, and finally succeeds in humiliating the captain. Abney and his crew flee, with Grubby Grouper and his gnarly pounders in hot pursuit. Timo gallantly commandeers the deserted ship, and with the aid of DadMom AngryBell's pixie dust, flies it to London with the children aboard. However, Team Rage decides to return to Never Mania rather than be adopted in the Community where they can’t cause endless months of online drama. Mr. and Mrs. Clappy return home from the party to find Gwendy not in her bed, but sleeping at the open window. Gwendy awakens and excitedly tells about their adventures. The parents look out the window and see what appears to be a pirate ship in the clouds. Mr. Clappy, who has softened his position about Gwendy staying in the nursery, recognizes it from his own childhood.

[Clappy]

I've been requested to parody this one movie....A LOT.  So for Spin-off Festival 5, what better time than now to post it.

 

59. The SBC Games

Film: The Hunger Games

 

The dystopian forum of SBC consists of a wealthy, glamorous XAT, ruled by President Squidward, ruling twelve poorer Communities. As punishment for a past rebellion and as a way to quell social unrest, each Community must provide two "Members" — one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and up selected by SBC Lottery — every year to compete in the televised SBC Games; they must fight to the death in a vast arena, with the sole survivor rewarded with overlord for a day and doubloons.

 

In Community 12, Katniss Lovestacos Everdeen volunteers when her younger sister Ooooooffrose is initially chosen by lot. She and the male Member, Wumba Bollark, are escorted to the XAT by chaperone Chaffie Ozu and their mentor Old Man Jenkmitch, a past Community 12 victor and photoshopoholic. Jenkmitch impresses on them the importance of gaining likes, as they can provide gifts of food and supplies during the Games. During part of a series of televised interviews, Wumba publicly expresses his love for Katniss, which she initially takes as an attempt to earn likes, but later learns he is PREYING ON YOU TONIGHT. While training, Katniss observes the Spotlight Members OWManiac, Science Girl, Trophy, and Negi, from Communities 1 and 2, who have been training for the Games since a young age.

 

At the start of the games, Katniss briefly considers making a run for her favorite weapon the bow during the opening bloodbath. Instead, she avoids much of the violence and takes a bag with supplies from the ground around the Shoutbox, the structure where the contestants start, much to Simon Anderson’s joy, and narrowly avoids being killed by JCM (in a cameo) but gains a knife in the process; nearly half the Members, including Simon Anderson, are killed in the initial melee. Katniss tries to stay as far away from the other competitors as possible, but Old Man Leeroy Jenkins triggers a spam attack to drive her back towards the others. She runs into the Spotlights, with whom Wumba has allied, and flees up a tree.

 

She notices Box, Community 11's young male Member, hiding in an adjacent box. Box silently draws her attention to a nest of poisonous banner hammers. Katniss drops it onto the Spotlights, killing Science Girl who stayed to analyze the creatures (and taking Science Girl's bow and arrows) and forcing the others to flee, though she is stung as well and becomes disoriented from the venom. Wumba yells at her to BBBBRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAKKKKK AAAAWWWAAAAAYYYY. Box helps Katniss recover from the poison; they become friends. Katniss devises a plan to destroy the cache of supplies that the Spotlights have been hoarding. Maniac finds them and kills Box before Katniss can shoot Maniac with her bow. Katniss comforts Box; after the boy dies, the grieving Katniss places an image honoring his life.

 

 

The people of Community 11 watch and then riot against the existing order, leading President Squidward to warn Old Man Leeroy Jenkins that these Games are turning out worse than recent Disney movies.  Jenkmitch suggests that his braddah Old Man Leeroy Jenkins change the rules to allow two winners if they are from the same Community, suggesting that this will quiet the unrest. When this change is announced, Katniss searches for Wumba, finding him BLEEDING OUT after fleeing from the Spotlights. After she moves him to safety, they hear an announcement that what each survivor needs the most will be provided at the Shoutbox. Despite Wumba's strong opposition, Katniss leaves to get medicine for him because NOW THEY GOT BAD BLOOD. Negi attacks and pins her down; she then boasts about her part in Box's death. Katniss is saved when Nuggets, Community 11's other member, kills Negi. He spares Katniss's life - once - for brownie’s sake. Katniss returns with the medicine and Wumba is able to SHAKE IT OFF.  Nuggets is killed by wild blue hedgehogs unleashed by Old Man Leeroy Jenkins. Katniss and Wumba race to the roof of the Shoutbox, just ahead of the hedgehogs. There they find Trophy. After a desperate struggle bowing to Trophy’s fists, Wumba manages to UPTOWN FUNK Trophy UP to the ground, where the hedgehogs attack. Katniss ends his agony with her bow.

 

Katniss and Wumba think they have won, but Old Man Leeroy Jenkins cancels the rule change: there can be only one victor. Katniss then convinces Wumba to SHUT UP AND DIE WITH ME by doing hazardous drugs with her. Just before they do, they are hastily named co-winners of the 74th SBC Games.

 

Afterward, Jenkmitch warns Katniss that she has made many enemies by her acts of defiance. President Squidward has Old Man Leeroy Jenkins locked in a room with drugs to overdose on. As Katniss and Wumba return to Community 12 THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS, President Squidward ponders his course of action on The Girl Who Loves Tacos.

[Katniss]

 

Dude, that was awesome.

[Clappy]

 

Dude, that was awesome.

 

[So Sejima]

Eh 3rd, what do you expect when the main character is coincidentally a user with a name based off the movie anyways?

[kev]

*request for Catching Fire* 

[Katniss]

Clapping Fire

[Joe Biden]

*overdoses on drugs*

 

I didn't even know I was mentioned in the Peter Pan parody. LOL nice.

[So Sejima]

How about doing the avengers ol Claptain? 

[Clappy]

How about doing the avengers ol Claptain? 

I've already done The Avengers.

[So Sejima]

I've already done The Avengers.

You really expect me to look back through 11 pages for it?

Then do the sequel. 

[Clappy]

Season finale time here for SBCinema as I do another sequel.  This time, a direct sequel to my previous episode.

 

60.  The SBC Games: Clapping Fire

Film: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

 

After winning the 74^th SBC Games, Katniss Lovestacos Everdeen and Wumba Bollark return home to Community 12. President Squidward visits Katniss at her home. The two make an agreement to not lie to one another, and Squidward explains that her actions in the Games have inspired rebellions across the Communities. He orders her to use the upcoming victory tour to convince everyone her actions were out of genuine love for Wumba, not defiance against the Capitol.

 

As the tour begins, Old Man Jenkmitch, mentor to Katniss and Wumba, warns them that the "show" of their relationship must continue for the rest of their lives. Katniss suggests a public engagement between herself and Wumba, which is carried out as Wumbo SAYS BABY I WANT MARRY YOU and is congratulated by President Squidward at his mansion in the Capitol.

 

Returning home, Katniss warns her friend Grubby Groupthorne of President Squidward’s threat to kill both their families. Peacekeepers crack down on Community 12 and Grubby is publicly whipped after attacking new Head Peacekeeper JCM (in a cameo).  President Squidward announces that the upcoming 75th SBC Games, the Third Quarter Quell, will feature tributes selected from previous victors. Katniss immediately devotes herself to ensuring Wumba WILL SURVIVE…HEY HEY, recruiting Jenkmitch's help to do so. At the reaping, Chaffie Ozu draws Katniss and Jenkmitch's names, but Wumba immediately volunteers to take Jenkmitch's place because Jenkmitch is IRREPLACABLE.

 

As they prepare, Jenkmitch reveals that all the tributes are angry at being returned to the Games and advises a reluctant Katniss to make allies. In the pre-Games interviews, Katniss wears her wedding dress, as ordered by President Squidward, but her stylist Kevin rigs it to transform into a representation of a taco. Wumba announces that they are expecting a baby which causes outrage and the audience of Capitol citizens to begin shouting for the Games to be stopped, to no avail. Just before Katniss enters the arena, Kevin is severely beaten by Peacekeepers as punishment for the taco dress and dragged away as Katniss watches helplessly for Kevin’s screams for Aya.

 

In the Games, Katniss allies with Finnick Omair and the elderly Jells, from Community 4. The arena's outer forcefield shocks Wumba, stopping HIS HEARTBEAT SONG until Omair revives him. The group flees a poisonous fog, and Jells sacrifices herself so as to avoid slowing them down. When vicious mandrills attack, Wumba is SAVED BY A WOMAN by the unexpected sacrifice of a tribute from Community 6. The group escapes to a beach and meets Community 3's Spongy and Termi, and Community 7's Sauce Anna Mason. Spongy discovers the arena is designed by if you are hungry now with regular food hazards each hour, but is killed soon after in a battle, while Katniss and Sauce Anna kill Teenj and Asia, the brother and sister tributes from Community 1.

 

Termi suggests using one of the hazards, a tree that is struck by lightning every 12 hours, and a coil of wire to electrocute the other remaining tributes. The group separates to prepare the trap, but once alone Sauce Anna suddenly hits Katniss over the head, stunning her, and discreetly cuts the tracker from her arm. Katniss returns to the tree and finds an unconscious Termi with the wire from the tree attached to a makeshift spear. Unable to find Wumba DEAD OR ALIVE, Katniss almost attacks Omair, but Omair reminds her to remember "who the real enemy is", as Jenkmitch had advised her prior to the Games. Katniss attaches the remaining wire to an arrow and shoots it into the arena forcefield as the lightning hits, causing a power failure that takes down the dome's forcefield as well as the Capitol's surveillance.

 

Katniss awakens in an aircraft to find Jenkmitch, Termi, Omair, and Claparch Clapperbee, the head Gamemaker, who is revealed to be a rebel against President Squidward. He tells her they are bound for Community 13, headquarters of the new rebellion, and that half the tributes were aware of the plan to escape with Katniss, as a symbol for the growing rebellion. They were unable to rescue Wumba and Sauce Anna, who were TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS by the Capitol. A distraught Katniss is sedated after attacking Jenkmitch. She later awakens to find Grubby by her side, who reassures that her family is safe but also tells her that Community 12 has been destroyed by the Staff.

[Katniss]

Wow, what a sequel XD That was great.

[WhoBibbles]

Why I never visited this place? It sounds really cool.

[Less_SpongeBob]

You think you could work with a parody of Inside Out?

[WhoBibbles]

You think you could work with a parody of Inside Out?

If he does that, I want to be Anger because

 

[MMM]

just now got ahold of this

 

holy shit this is great

[Old Man Jenkins]

Well, Clappy gave me his blessing to post this. Enjoyerino, or not.

61:

Film: Con Air

The movie opens up to Acidic Dragon being honorably discharged from the special sky dragon forces of Dragoria after serving with valor for, I wanna say, three weeks before leaving that drag life behind him because it was dumb phase he was going through in his life. Wanting to leave his dragon past behind him and looking for a new identity, newly username changed Nicolas Cage returns home to the SpongeBob Community and to his pregnant wife, JakeFromStateFarm, who he reunites with in the xat after Jake finally wraps up his work day at 3 in the morning. Cage sees that Jake's wearing his favorite khakis just for him and feels the baby kicking in, "it's gonna be a crier, this one" Cage smugly remarks. Jake soon finds himself being sexually harassed by Elastic, Ex, Dragiiin, and CDCB. Cage intervenes and opts to breathe fire on these bungholes, but Jake talks him down, all while the harassers mock him for thinking he's a dragon. Cage and Jake leave the xat to someplace maybe less irritating like SBM chat, but Elastic and the others follow them out and attack Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage fights back in self-defense, putting up more than a fight for all four of them to handle and eventually kills Ex with some of that hot breath. The remaining attackers flee as Nicolas calls out to his beloved in the pouring rain, "like a good neighbor, JakeFromStateFarm is there!" but Jake informs him that his insurance won't be able to cover this one. Nicolas Cage is later sentenced to be suspended for seven days because its Ex, lets fucking face it. Cage was originally gonna plead insanity because lol he thinks he's a dragon, but he was talked into the seven days and taking a role in this SBCinema instead. Punishment enough, I'd say.

Cage would spend the next seven days of his life corresponding with Jake and their new baby boy, Rugratskid, who's having trouble with other kids because he likes kid shows and still has dolls, so he cries to Cage about it. Cage tells Rugratskid to grow a stiff upper lip and cut that hair. Rugratskid later sends another letter, thanking Cage for his advice and sends his father his prized Simon Chipmunk doll, causing even Cage to think "that kid ain't right". Cage also dabbles in eating chocolate salty balls (which is quite popular with his fellow cunts, especially his rockmate, Weasel [banned for stalking Old Man Jenkins in PMs and 13 counts of not taking a hint]), keeping up to date on all his anime and toning up for his role in this SBCinema. The day finally arrives, the day that Nicolas Cage stars in another bomb.

Cage and Weasel are to be flown back to SBC by air on board the "Jailbait", a cunt transport aircraft that would make ACS orgasm. The transfer is being overseen by Community Director, jjsthekid, as the transfer also includes Bl4ze "The Douche" TMG (banned for multiple counts of saying the n-word, r-word, and posting n00dz, 1 count of getting overly sensitive about cakes, 10 counts of adding more fuel to his own fire, 20 counts of not acting his age to the first degree and 1 count of leaving Hot Tempered and Lilcorey off his best SBC/SBM members list), "reviewer" AngryKoopa (banned on multiple counts of writing crap reviews, retaliating by shooting up anyone who hated and critiqued his reviews), and Yellowshdow (banned for murdering multiple guests for so much as thinking about joining SBC and then blaming it on his sister, which some people legit believed) as they are to be transferred to a new Mightymax security prison. Cage and Weasel become acquainted with cunt guard, Katniss, and another nasty cunt by the name of Storm 23, named after his many banned accounts and the many girls he's stalked. Though Storm says that if they were smart, they'd let him back so that he could become "Storm 600". Sick fuck. Cage is caught admiring the cage of Yellowshdow, who asks "dafuq you're lookin at?" to which Cage replies "I'm just looking at Stuff." with that smug Nic Cage smug, you know what I'm talking about.

Jjs is approached last minute by SBI (SpongeBob Infinity, remember that thing?) agents, Halibut and JCM in a cameo, who requests for JCM to be brought on board undercover as a cunt so that he can extract more information from Anytown Show creator, Cartman Man (banned for 90 counts of illegally ripping off 90s shows for his crap web series and 90 counts of creating threads with intent to spam said crap web series), who is to be picked up en route from SBM, so that they can find out about all the shows he illegally ripped off and probs rag on him to rub Hal's ego a bit more. Jjs agrees to this, but is unaware that Halibut has snuck one of his anti-shoutouts onto JCM's person for protection.

The Jailbait finally takes off and another cunt by the name of Supergameman (banned for wanton acts of creating pointless game threads and multiple counts of assaults on ask threaders) incites a riot in the plane by flaming another cunt, Spandy, and setting her on fire since she was on forum suicide watch anyway. This allows him to set Bl4ze and AK free while everyone's distracted. Bl4ze seizes the cockpit, kills co-pilot CNF, and forces the pilot, Patty, to keep the plane in their air under his command. JCM attempts to be a goddamn hero and take back control of the situation, but he isn't OMJ and Bl4ze outdouches Halibut's anti-shoutout and kills JCM as Nicolas Cage watches on, trying so hard to keep his palm from slapping his own face. Bl4ze welcomes them to "Cunt Air" and that the only nuts they'll be served will be his in their mouths if they don't cooperate. Cage gets into Bl4ze's' good graces and just goes with it, helping them to offload the plane staff disguised as cunts at SBM. The cunt transfer goes as planned, but not before Cage takes Halibut's anti-shoutout, uses it to write a shoutout of his own and sneaks it onto Patty as he leaves the plane. The successful transfer sees new cunts being brought on board, including Cartman Man, ACSBehemothHellcat (banned for undisclosed counts of ban dodging and identity theft, as well as multiple counts of terroristic threatening then backing away like a pussy) and the infamous PatBack, whose death threats makes ACS's look like North Korea. Bl4ze sucks their dicks and claims he loves all their work. Supergameman takes the Jailbait's ask thread and hot links it (along with some noodz that Bl4ze had generously provided) onto another smaller lurking aircraft. The Jailbait takes off (with ACS piloting after he orgasms at the thought a little) before Cage's anti-shoutout could be found, but Jjs and Halibut are alerted to the situation. Supergameman fails to make it back on time and chases after the plane, asking a badly burned and heartbroken Spandy through her window to have Bl4ze stop the plane and Spandy answers "k." and leaves him to his fate.

Halibut chases after the plane's ask thread in a mad quest to cement his competence, while Jjs discovers startling evidence in Bl4ze's old time out corner that indicates this ban dodge attempt has been planned with Cartman Man. On the Jailbait, Bl4ze reveals that they will be landing at YouTube where Cartman Man has arranged safe passage and subscriptions for them all to his crap channel. Halibut finally finds out that the Jailbait's ask thread had been planted onto a lurking plane, as well as the noodz, which ruins his innocence and further cements his incompetence.

While checking up on his personal belongings, Cage finds Supergameman's body stuck in the landing gear, having tried to repeat what that Somalian teen did on that plane ride to Hawaii. Nicolas Cage uses this time to write a private message to Jjs about YouTube before sending it, and Supergameman, out of the plane and crashing into Old Man Jenkins' Jalopy below as he was making another depressing entry, I'm sure. OMJ reports it and Jjs is alerted to Cage's message, ordering the community Navy to YouTube to apprehend the cunts as Jjs personally drives there in the classic American muscle car that Halibut took a treasured picture of himself with.

The suspicious Yellowshdow later learns of Nicolas Cage's true identity after going through his stuff (HAHA again), identifying Cage as being just a dragon who is about to be socially accepted back into the community after serving his seven day suspension; aka, he's a free man. Cage confronts Yellowshdow in the cargo hold, who has RK's chipmunk doll in hand. Cage repeatedly tells him to "put the chipmunk back in the box" but Yellowshdow refuses, forcing Cage to kill him before he can cause anymore harm to the chipmunk doll or inform Bl4ze of his findings. Once again fighting the urge to palm his own face, Nicolas Cage asks Yellowshdow's impaled corpse "why couldn't you just put the chipmunk back in the box?" Shakened by the experience, Cage returns to Weasel and a caged Katniss, where he shares the experience with the nearby PatBack who's all like "you think that's disturbing? This is disturbing" before telling Cage about the gay rants he would go on on SBM, visibly disturbing him.

On YouTube, the Jailbait overruns Cartman Man's really small crap channel. When they disembark, they can't even find any immediate signs of Cartman Man's really small crap channel. Bl4ze orders the cunts to dig up the Jailbait as Cartman Man heads off on his own to find his channel. PatBack and MoreSpandy (banned for infinity counts of slandering the good SBC name and 3 counts of slapping SBC in its face) venture off in their own ways, as well. Angry Koopa drags Katniss and what's left of the plane staff out of the Jailbait at gunpoint in order to be executed for hating on his reviews throughout the entire flight. Koopa recites one of his reviews and aims the shotgun at Katniss' head but Nicolas Cage intervenes and tries to convince AK that they're better off alive until they're sure that Cartman Man's channel has been found. AK is skeptical and goes to shoot her anyway but is interrupted again by Bl4ze, who Cage appeals to instead to use the plane staff as leverage should things go south with Cartman Man. Bl4ze allows her and the other guards to live, for now, and has AK escort them back onto the plane to be watched over by Storm. Cage informs Bl4ze he'll find fuel for both Bl4ze's fire and the Jailbait, which leads to this interesting exchange about their fathers.

https://youtu.be/9a0kNAGIqE8

But Cage really uses this time to rig the plane from taking off, as well as to find Naked Brothers Band videos for Weasel, who breaks down because he hasn't had his fix of them since before the flight. During his search, he comes across Jjs. Cage is suspicious of jjs at first, saying throughout all his life, he's only come to trust just one man with his life, and that man's ACS. Jjs and Cage mine for some NBB vids together and brief each other on the situation before Cage has to return before any suspicion is raised back at the Jailbait. They both come across some of Cartman Man's illegally ripped 90s cartoon characters who are prepping to evac their "creator". Nicolas Cage dragons up and fights them off while Jjs sabotages Cartman Man's crap channel before Cartman Man can make his escape to Anytown. Jjs causes the channel to explode from it's massive amounts of fail, allowing Bl4ze to realize that Cage's intuition was right in that Cartman Man had tricked and used him, as well as the other cunts, for more views for his crap channel. Cartman Man remains his oblivious, self-serving self and pleads with Bl4ze not to kill him and to check out his show. He makes one last appeal.

Cartman Man: BL4ZE-

Bl4ze: IT.

Bl4ze takes Hot Tempered and throws him onto the hot gas leading back to Cartman Man's channel, his temper igniting it and engulfing Cartman Man in fire on contact. Or just use this for reference to know what I'm trying to go for here.

https://youtu.be/wPVAq94Tk9M

While all this is going on, PatBack wanders around, menacingly, looking for some gays to kill, but he comes across this video

https://youtu.be/3j4t185wl-0

And it somehow miraculously causes him to change his ways and be socially accepted back on SBC. MoreSpandy returns in a dress, coming out as transgendered in a status update to all the cunts. ACS spots Jjs's approaching Navy. Bl4ze takes full charge of his cunts and rallies them to massacre the Navy as they arrive, setting up an ambush in the already volatile comments section of one of Storm's videos, leading to this interesting exchange between Spandy and Bl4ze during the planning process.

https://youtu.be/nqR9bID5Tpc

Bl4ze posts the bait for the Community forces to become attracted to, against their better judgement, quite literally like flies to a pile of shit. They all fall right into his trap and lights his fire even more. The cunts assume their positions and let the sparks fly, as they usually do in the YouTube comments section, and the cunts begin to pick apart the navy. Jjs witnesses this and is all "NOT THE NAVY!" and submits a huge wall of text insulting the cunts that even 4EG would be proud of to act as a bullet and flame shield for his guys. Spandy perishes in the resulting back and forth as she still thought the rock had something to do with the plan. This forces the cunts to retreat back to the Jailbait, where Storm is trying to force the thought of StormxKat literally into Katniss' mind (in other words, making her SUCK HIS DICK). Weasel tries to help but he jones himself to sleep, leaving Nic Cage to come back on scene and fight Storm off himself

He beats Storm and handcuffs him up to one of the cages to neutralize and neuter him. Cage gives Weasel his daily dose of Naked Brothers and makes preparations to leave with him and Katniss. Before he evacuates them all, he heads out to finish sabotaging the plane from taking off.

Unfortunately, the cunts return sooner than expected and they prepare to take off once again, forcing Cage to abandon his own immediate escape plans. PatBack finally returns from his gay escapades, with a rubber fist in hand, as they successfully manage to take to the skies despite Cage's botched attempt to keep them grounded, which ends up destroying Halibut's (wet) dream car in the process. The youtube gay community comes out in droves to wish PatBack bon voyage, some waving their own rubber fists in the air, as the cunts soar by. The cunts celebrate their successful escape, listening to some "Sweet Home Alabama" as sung by ACS's Swiss personalities, which PatBack points out the irony of celebrating to a song made famous by a band that perished in a plane crash, saying only ACS is stupid enough to do something like that.

Meanwhile, Angry Koopa comes across Yellowshdow's corpse and Cage's personal belongings still in the cargo hold, including Rugratskid's chipmunk doll and letters. And needless to say, he's quite angry about it. He brings it to Bl4ze'e attention as Cage eyes them down suspiciously. Bl4ze very douchily ends their festivities and declares that they must have a traitor in their midst seeing as how the staff seems to have known where they've been going this whole time, the untimely and mysterious demise of Yellowshdow, and the fact that somebody deliberately tried sabotaging their plane before take off. He comes to the conclusion that someone must be feeding the staff information and ruining all of cunts' day. Before Cage can respond, Weasel tries to take the rap for him, which Bl4ze is skeptical of given he's been near death from NBB withdrawal this entire flight. Weasel tells him that it was all part of his plan, plus his name is "Weasel" after all. Weasel taunts him that "it was clever, huh BITCH?" Bl4ze shoots an insult at him, saying "No, THAT was RETARDED!" Nicolas Cage tends to his fallen friend as Bl4ze finishes the rest of Rugratskid's letter about how he gets to see his daddy on his birthday on JULY 14TH and proceeds to hold the Simon Chipmunk doll at gunpoint, a very douche thing to do, mind you.

They're interrupted by Halibut, who, in another lapse of judgement, decides that it's a good idea to assault the ship head on with his Bad Reviews Blimp ripped straight from Community Deathmatch, damaging the Jailbait's engines in the chaos with some scathing reviews. Bl4ze, Koopa, and most of the other cunts head off to fight him off as Jjs tries to scream some sense into Halibut, telling him not to blow up his motherfucking plane and that there's still innocent lives on board. Halibut is still going headstrong with his assault and gets frustrated with himself and everyone

https://youtu.be/ejxR0zGaflg

Meanwhile, back inside the Jailbait, Nicolas Cage fights his way through Bl4ze's cunts on his way to the cockpit. Ain't that a mouthful? Purdy gets on tinychat and blocks his path, intent on making this a party, but Cage knocks him back off tinychat. Mightymax threats to bring the wrath of God down on Nicolas Cage, but only manages slightly smite Cage in the shoulder, which leaves Max open to feel the full wrath of Cage brought down on him instead. Cage's path of self-destruction gets interrupted by MoreSpandy, who wants to claw his eyes out but Cage knocks her out with a swift slap to the face, much harder than the slap in the face she gave to SBC when they unbanned her.

Cage shuts the cage doors to prevent anymore interference from Bl4ze and the others. Bl4ze notices this and heads off to intercept Cage, shooting at the cage doors like a mad douche. As he's busy with fanning the flames to his own pyre, Katniss distracts him from behind and knocks him the fuck out. Cage finally enters the cockpit, takes a seat next to ACS's big ass, tells him to land the plane and gets on the radio, calling Halibut out on his incompetence and tells him to call off his assault. Jjs vouches for Nic, telling Halibut that he's their man on the inside and that he's an ex suspendee who just wants to come home and see his family. All of this while ACS is right there and does nothing because he's a pussy. Once again frustrated with himself and everyone, Halibut finally stands down for once. The damage from the bad reviews has already done and ACS has no choice but to take the Jailbait down on the nearest piece of pavement he could find, the Las Vegas Strip! Everyone in the plane straps themselves in and brace for impact. PatBack clutches his rubber fist hard and belts out

PatBack: IT'S OKAY TO BE GAY, LETS REJOICE WITH THE BOYS IN THE GAY WAY!

The Jailbait causes a great deal of city destruction upon landing, even abruptly interrupting one of Shin's late night adventures on casino rooftops.

PatBack: HEY MAN GAY MAN PICK UP THE SOAP! GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY!

Storm: Shut the fuck up! You are gay and SUCK MY DICK!

Storm yells as he thrashes around violently, still hanging helplessly by his cuffs as the plane makes it's rough landing. Bl4ze recovers and takes it back to Cage, taunting him that the last birthday gift Rugratskid will ever be receiving wont be his daddy, but "my stinkin' cakes, nigger". One of the plane's propellers break off and slices through the plane, separating them from each other as the plane finally comes to a halt at the end of the strip. Nicolas Cage tends to Katniss and Weasel, who's still hanging on to life. Nic and Weasel share what I like to call a "broment" and he leaves Weasel in the care of Katniss while he heads out to stop Bl4ze and his cunts once and for all. The Las Vegas and community authorities head in and suspend any and all cunts they could find, especially MoreSpandy and the now-deceased Storm, who's jerk-off arm got ripped off by his cuffs during the crash. Authorities also find PatBack's rubber fist amongst the wreckage.

hilaryfan80: Well, isn't this an appropriate thing to find in a plane full of sore asses.

However, Bl4ze, Angry Koopa and ACS manage to evade capture and flee the scene in a fire truck, thinking that'll save them from the flaming they're inevitably gonna receive from everyone. Nicolas Cage and Jjs sees this and team up to stop them, chasing them on flight simulators. ACS commandeers the truck as Bl4ze and Koopa work to stop Cage and Jjs in their tracks. Nic Cage manages to grab hold of the truck's ladder and lets his simulator crash into Angry Koopa as he was hanging precariously and shooting from the back of the truck, killing him on impact and setting that part of the truck on fire from the collision. Cage monkey bars his way through the ladder and is met by Bl4ze on top of it. Jjs manages to climb onto the cab of the truck and brings the axe down on the roof, startling ACS. Jjs orders him to stop the truck which ACS responds "Like this?!" before bringing it to a screeching halt in an attempt to send Jjs flying off, but Jjs keeps a firm grasp. The truck speeds off again as Nicolas Cage tries desperately to hold on and combat Bl4ze at the same time, who's fighting like a douche as you can tell. From a long distance, Katniss brandishes her bow and arrow and shoots it in their direction, getting Bl4ze right through his ankle. He screams in pain as Cage twists the arrow around before pulling himself up. He dragons up and beats Bl4ze into submission, breathing that hot breath on him before cuffing him to the ladder and telling him to "hold on tight, you're in for another bumpy ride!" as Jjs grabs a hose and unleashes it into the truck, drowning ACS in water, causing him to crash and eject head-first from the vehicle, insta-killed as all his weight crashes out onto the road. Cage slides down the ladder and flies off the truck as the momentum of the crash breaks Bl4ze free from the ladder and sends him soaring into the industrial park, where he is finally and literally met with a banhammer to the face.

Cage and Jjs meet back up as the doubloons from the crashed casino rain down on to the streets for doubloon beggars like TheGreatWizard to loot in the chaos. Cage informs Jjs that there's now two men in this world he can trust, ACS and Crushing. RK's Simon Chipmunk doll slowly floats down into IT's lair until Nicolas Cage grabs it in the nic of time. "That's another movie for another day" Cage smugly remarks in that Nicolas Cage-manner.

Jjs regroups with Halibut, who obliviously tells Jjs "sure glad we didn't blow up that plane, huh?" Jjs sarcastically replies that it's better having it crash down in the middle of Las Vegas, which Halibut takes in seriousness and stride. Jjs reluctantly apologizes about Halibut's wet dream car, but Halibut reminds him that it finally makes them both even for that "whole Jeopardy thing." They then both cringe as the Cage family awkwardly reunite with Not LeAnn Rimes singing in the background

Jake: ACIDICNICOLAS

Nicolas Cage: Hello dragon slayer

He looks down to see Rugratskid hiding behind Jake's khakis.

Nicolas Cage: You were meant to get a haircut.

RK is on the verge of tears from fright.

In an effort to calm RK the fuck down, he takes out the Simon Chipmunk doll and hands it back to him.

Nicolas Cage: I've got a present for you, RK. It's a little dirty.

Jake: Take daddy's gift, honey.

Nicolas Cage: No, it's okay!

RK: ...I have a picture of you, you were a dragon...

Nicolas Cage: I've got a picture of you too, dragonfly.

Cage replies, breathing some of that hot breath. Scarred even more, RK feels like he has no choice but to accept the doll and embrace this monster in tears.

RK: WAAAAAAAAAA-

Jake joins in and they all embrace each other, their family finally whole.

RK: -AAAAAAHHHHH!!

Meanwhile, on one of the casino rooftops.

Shin: New adventurer coming in, new adventurer! Does our new adventurer feel succy?! Well, does he?

PatBack gives Shin the succ.

PatBack: Yes, yes he does!

[WhoBibbles]

HOLY CRAP, I CAN'T READ ALL THAT, LOL.