Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[PatBack]

lol @ listening to chart music. It's always crap. #Hipster4Lyfe

[CyanideFishbone]

DIS, RYET HERE, IS MAH, SWEG

[President Squidward]

If you had to choose which year was worse, would it be 2006 or 2007?

[Wumbo]

If you had to choose which year was worse, would it be 2006 or 2007?

Haha holy shit the Taylor Hicks song actually made it on the 2006 chart... uh, overall I think 2007 is worse, though I need to really look at 2006 before I make that judgement.

[Guest]

IMO all of 2007 sucked.

[Burgerpants]

Still better analysis of MIMS than Aol Radio.

Quote

"First off, he repeats 'This is why I'm hot' too much. Second, he repeats 'This is why I'm hot' too much."

[asiaworld8]

Oh, this year was bad. Monumentally bad, even. This is the worst year I've had to sit through thus far. In other words, this list is going to be "fun".

 

Now I've had problems with Billboard years in the past. 2010 was stupid, 1990 was lame, 2002 was boring. But this year just fucking blew me out of the water with how mind-numbingly bad it was. It seemed like every turn I took there was another song waiting to piss me off. This was a dark time for pop music, my friends. Even as a 12-year-old child, I found myself not enjoying this year of music. Not only was it bad, it also seemed dreary. Very few songs were fun, a lot of them were boring, and a fair chunk of them are straight-up unlistenable garbage.

 

In fact, in honour of how bad this year is, let's do quick commentary on a few runners-up. Yeah, remember when I did these for the best list? Not this time. Here are some bad, bad songs worth mention, and of course, if you don't want spoilers as to what didn't make the list, skip this part and scroll on down. But I feel like I have to do this, because this year was just crap. So here are some dishonourable mentions.

 

Spoiler

"Cyclone" - Baby Bash ft. T-Pain. Honestly, I don't have too much against T-Pain, and he's definitely not the reason this song is here. It's that skin-crawlingly repulsive beat combined with inane lyrics and a nobody performer on the forefront. Next.

 

"Make it Rain" - Fat Joe ft. Lil Wayne. Proof that Fat Joe and Lil Wayne should not have been relevant in 2007. (For that matter, Fat Joe shouldn't have been relevant in any year, but that's neither here nor there.)

 

"Wind it Up" - Gwen Stefani. Did anyone anywhere like this song? Thank God Stefani has so many better hits on her, because this sure as hell does not define her solo career, and for good reason. More like "Shut it Up".

 

"Smack That" - Akon ft. Eminem. Of all the Akon songs that charted this year (there, does "all the Akon songs that charted" give you a barometer of how bad the year is?) this one was by far the most intolerable, not least because it's yet another example of Eminem's disintegration into not caring about what kind of crap he belches out and calls it music. I'll say someone deserves a smacking for this.

 

"Rockstar" - Nickelback. You know Chad, rock stars don't have to sing about how they want to be rock stars, because they are rock stars. I mean... if you want to dispel myths that you make credible rock music, then I guess this is the most efficient way to do it. Well, that and shitty disco. (Seriously, the fuck?)

 

"If Everyone Cared" - Nickelback. Ooh, dangerously close to the bottom. We'll check in with the band that kept them off later, but this is the song I think of when I think of reasons to hate Nickelback. Sludgy bullshit about how Chad just wants to saaaave the wooorrrld by making everyone caaaare and nobody diiieeee and fuck fuck turn this off.

 

"Here (In Your Arms)" - Hellogoodbye. A year that doesn't have this in my Bottom 10 is a bad year indeed. Between the annoyingly autotuned chorus and the half-finished lyrics, this would have probably been my number one worst in almost any other year I've covered. But enough of this, let's get to the really bad stuff. (Hellogoodbye, what kind of a stupid band name is that anyway.)

 

Okay! God, what a bad year. If my dishonourable mentions weren't enough to convince you, here come the real baddies of 2007. They're so bad, so awful, and so repulsively insipid that I almost feel sorry for those preteens that grew up with this music. Oh wait, one of those was me! Never mind, I don't feel sorry for anyone but myself. Here are

 

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Songs of 2007

 

Spoiler

It takes a special kind of talent to be a worse rock band than Nickelback. Well done, Hinder.

 

10. "Better Than Me" - Hinder

 

 

Can I just ask one question? Who wanted a second hit from these guys? In what twisted universe do you look at the guys who made "Lips of an Angel" and think, "Yeah. These guys deserve to have another hit!" Because it sure as hell isn't any universe I want to be a part of.

 

But as long as I'm stuck here, I may as well comment on the follow-up to Hinder's monstrous hit. It seriously sucks, and I honestly think that the only reason Hinder aren't more reviled than Nickelback is because Nickelback stuck around while Hinder fizzled out after this hit. But... objectively, Hinder are a far worse rock band than Nickelback. The lead singer's voice is even more intolerable, the instrumentation is even more sludgy, and the lyrics are even more inane.

 

I really miss your hair in my face

And the way your innocence tastes

 

Innocence tastes...? How does innocence have a taste?!

 

Thankfully, after "Better Than Me", we realized that we deserved much better than Hinder and let them drop off the face of the earth. At the very least, the song is kind of an apology for their first one, so it's ranked rather low. But dear God. those vocals. That sound. These lyrics. It's too much to take. Hinder hinders the progression of music.

 

Spoiler

So Justin Timberlake's got his shtick of showing us all that he's cool, possibly too cool for music or showbiz. He's shown this multiple times in his music, and has also had seven different credits on this chart. They range from good to mediocre to collaborations with 50 Cent.

 

9. "Ayo Technology" - 50 Cent. ft. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

 

 

Yeah, for those JT fans just waiting for him to come out with a song where he sings this:

 

Ayo, I'm tired of using technology

Why don't you sit down on top of me

 

Here you go, you weirdos.

 

I honestly think it's a good thing that this song didn't make it bigger, because while a huge chunk of JT's career is... basically being an asshole, let's get real here, he's at least revered for being smooth. This song is as smooth as crunchy peanut butter on multigrain bread with chunks of sandpaper. Well, I think it would taste good.

 

But what doesn't taste good is the taste this song leaves in your mouth, reducing Justin to a guy singing an inane chorus, and at least on "Carry Out", that was backed by a superbly infectious beat. Here... I think someone fell asleep on the synth machine.

 

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5751239

 

Either that or we're enjoying a rigorous game of Pac-Man on speed.

 

But the real failings of this song come through with 50 Cent, who proves to be as dull and lifeless as ever. Not once does he give the impression that somebody didn't drug him with sleeping pills, and it makes the song drag from the very beginning. Ayo, I'm tired of hearing 50 Cent songs.

 

Spoiler

Natural disasters have always been a fascinating symbol in pop music. You've got your hurricanes, you've got your landslides, hell, even your cyclones, shitty as that one is. So I wonder what kind of song you would get from an artist who takes a natural disaster and applies it to his name?

 

8. "A Bay Bay" - Hurricane Chris

 

 

Oh. How profoundly disappointing.

 

And to be honest, that's a damn good way to describe rap music this year. People complain about rap music these days, but this year it reached an unmatchable low. There's so much crappy rap on here that I don't feel is even attempting to try. Like, honestly, what is this? Annoying, that's what it is. Right down to the irritating kid on the hook.

 

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5751306

 

Yeah, that's what I want to hear: little kids holla'ing "A Bay Bay". By the way, if you're going to "holla" it, then do so. This is a half-assed holla if I've ever heard one.

 

While Hurricane Chris isn't the worst under-20 rapper to appear on here (more on that guy later), he's still pretty insufferable. He doesn't show much lyrical talent, and when you can't back up talent with the too-cool-for-you attitude you're trying to pull off, then you've failed, because I don't believe you. Hurricane Chris is about as believable as the kid on the track. This is just stupid. Next!

 

Spoiler

7. "This is Why I'm Hot" - Mims

 

 

This and the song to follow plague my mind as some of the worst rap songs I've ever heard on the radio, and they came out on the same year. We'll get to the next one when we get to it, but for now, let's look at how Mims' career as a rap star was thankfully short.

 

I think upon retrospect, everybody remembers how bad this song is and they're just in denial that they listened to it. It honestly baffles me that this guy became as popular as he did. This is such a simple, braindead song made by an artist who thinks he's better than you but really, really isn't. What, is it because it samples better rap songs for no good reason? Just... just listen to those! There was never any need for Mims in pop culture. He wasn't relevant then and he isn't now. And as a result, "This is Why I'm Hot" just leaves me feeling cold.

 

Spoiler

6. "We Fly High" - Jim Jones

 

 

People... we let this get popular. Seriously, where was the quality control this year?

 

I remember hearing this song on the radio for the first time. Just listening to it and thinking, "Wow. This is a hit. Huh. Some world." Thankfully, the song worked to disappear from my mind as I stuck to my rock stations from then on. But here it is, it's back, and it still sucks.

 

Look, I give 50 Cent crap for being dull and boring, and it's well deserved. But at least he sounds like he knows what he's doing when he's rapping. This is just pure garbage rapping, especially on that drugged-out chorus. What is up with bragging lyrics sounding so depressing?

 

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5751405

 

Does anyone on that track sound like they are actually "flying high"? If the rappers can't get invested in their own song, then how am I supposed to? What a wasteland of rap music 2007 was. (More on that later.)

 

Spoiler

 

Hell yeah, I remember seeing Chris Daughtry go home on American Idol. Huuuge shocker all around. Everybody, including myself, was hyped to see a rock singer win American Idol. Instead, we got...

 

 

Well... you picked him, America.

 

But we're not here to talk about Taylor Hicks. We're here to talk about the man, Chris Daughtry. He released his first album after his American Idol loss. Then I grew up and realized it was mostly crap.

 

5. "It's Not Over" - Daughtry

 

 

It's almost as if the guy who covered a Creed song in his American Idol days would grow to disappoint me as I got older! Imagine the thought.

 

Now I'm going to hate on Daughtry for a bit, so let me just say I don't totally hate this band. I actually quite like "Home", the other single that charted this year, and "What I Want" is pretty solid as well. (I mean, that one has Slash helping out...) But Daughtry's debut album would always come back to its sludgy, un-fun lead-off single, "It's Not Over". This song bores me to tears.

 

I don't know, maybe Daughtry could have used Timbaland or something to pump up their awful love ballad, because they certainly aren't doing it themselves. This song is honestly a chore to listen to. And I can hear people saying, "Seriously, Wumbo? This is worse than If Everyone Cared and Better Than Me?" Yes, yes it is! There's absolutely nothing here of substance. The lyrics are tremendously vague, the instrumentation is bland as fuck, and nothing in the song works to liven things up, or hell, make it even more sad and dirgey! Maybe if it delved more into histrionics, it would have benefited. As is though, it's a lifeless song that should have spelled the end of Daughtry's post-Idol career.

 

Let it out, let it out

Don't get caught up in yourself

 

That's right, Chris. Just let it out. Seriously, let it out. I can barely tell what you're trying to emote.

 

Spoiler

HONEY WHY YOU CWALLLINNN MEEEHEEE SOOO LAAATE

 

We have "honey" to thank for this song's existence. Thanks for calling Austin Winkler so late, "honey". You inspired this piece of shit.

 

4. "Lips of an Angel" - Hinder

 

 

This song is about cheating with an ex-flame. It's presented as a love song. It sucks. Massively.

 

I know this may look like contradicting myself after what I just said in my breakdown of Daughtry's song, but... seriously now, there's only so much rock angst I can take and this definitely surpasses my allowed intake.

 

This song is... monumentally bad. I can't believe we let it get as popular as it did. Was it because the lead singer was charming?

 

 

Literally the first image I found searching "lips of an angel video" disproves that theory. So, what is it? What made Hinder such a big deal?

 

I can't begin to tell you. All I know is that allmusic called Extreme Behaviour one of 2005's worst albums and for good reason, if these are the two singles we're supposed to take from it. "Lips of an Angel" is the worse of the two due to its awful subject matter. I mean, if you want to make a song about cheating, fine. But don't present it as some kind of sappy love song. For god's sake, this played at my Grade 8 grad dance and I don't think anybody knew what this shit was about! The youth are impressionable people. Don't play this shit at Grade 8 grads. Thankfully, I don't think anyone does now, because who the fuck wants to listen to Hinder anymore, but still... show some respect for the children.

 

Seriously, that one late phone call sparked this song. Choose your calls wisely.

 

Spoiler

 

Hi, Fergie.

 

It gets hard to defend Fergie sometimes, but I do think she has legitimate talent. It's just that she squanders it with an awful personality seeping through and the trade-off of her beautiful vocals for this terrible annoying warbling. And oh boy, did 2007 ever give us a potent example of that.

 

3. "Fergalicious" - Fergie ft. will.i.am

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T0utQ-XWGY

 

Yeah, it's Fergalicious. Surprised? You shouldn't be. This song still haunts me, and I can't believe it got as popular as it did. I just... okay, do you guys remember "Friday"?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

 

Sure you do, it was everywhere. Everyone loved to hate it. Such an awful song... well, I put "Fergalicious" on par with that song. Actually, maybe even lower, because "Fergalicious" was made by a grown-ass woman. Explain this shit.

 

Fergalicious def

Fergalicious def

Fergalicious def

Def def def def def def def def def def def

 

That is intolerable and inexcusable. Of course, when you have will.i.am behind your hit, you're sort of bound to go wrong.

 

This is just such an ugly, unfinished mess. It's Fergie at her most wretched and most unlistenable. It's so disjointed, so clumsy and so stupid that I can't pass it by. God damn. Allow me to write a new definition for "Fergalicious": makes them boys go bleeeaaaaugh.

 

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTJVlJ25S8c

 

It's been a... not so interesting career for Soulja Boy Tell 'Em. And all brainless dullards in pop music had to start somewhere.

 

2. "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UFIYGkROII

 

I don't understand.

 

This year, man. We let so much shit pass through the airwaves. And it's not even well-meaning shit. This is deliberate badness. And we still listened to it! What the fuck, people?

 

Look, I get that some people might enjoy this song for how bad it is, but don't count me among one of them. I have a limit, and if you're going to be this stupid and this arrogant, then you've surpassed that limit and become one of my most hated songs of an already terrible year.

 

What really gets me is that we seriously let Soulja Boy get even more hits after this piece of garbage, especially when he didn't even deserve this one. Christ, what an awful piece of shit. I mean, seriously. People bought this?! And they bought him as a credible rapper? I must be missing something in my attempts to understand society, because there's no way this song got popular solely based on how bad it is.

 

Is it the... dance craze? I don't even know how to do this dance, and no, I don't care to learn. I've expended enough energy on this song, and this artist. I... good lord, this almost won a Grammy?! I... wow, the sanctity of the Grammy Award has officially been destroyed. Well, this combined with the ceremonies they give every year, but holy god. This song represents more than just bad music. It represents bad music being actively forced down our throats. This is crap on a stick, plain and simple. But there was one song even worse...

 

Spoiler

You have to either be trying way too hard to be bad, or you're just on a level of not trying that I have yet to discover, to be worse than Soulja Boy Tell 'Em. Well, would you like to find out which rap group accomplished that? Look no further than Pet Shop Boys.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3j2NYZ8FKs

 

Wait, I think I have something wrong here... ah yes, here we go. Somebody please explain to me who made this popular.

 

1. "Party Like a Rockstar" - Shop Boyz

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82vpIsQ3lX8

 

I hate this shit so much.

 

This year, more than anything, I was tired of rappers partying and not sounding like it in the slightest. This was, for me, the most egregious example of that. It's so in my face with how unpleasant it is, especially in that chorus. It's actively trying to piss me off. I can feel it.

 

And it just keeps going. Party like a rock, party like a rock star, party like a rock, party like a rock star, party like a rock, party like a rock star... GAAAAH

 

Actually, I know what part pisses me off the most about this song. It's the part at the end of the chorus.

 

T-t-t-totally dude

 

Yeah, you're so "with it" and "cool". What, did you get your rap lingo from Crush the turtle?

 

This, more than anything, just proved to me how much the bad music of 2007 failed to try. Try to be good, be catchy, or even entertain. The bad music this year just failed on so many counts, and this is the crowning achievement of it all. Hallelujah, let's hope for some halfway decent songs in the Top 10. Seriously, fuck this year.

 

some of theses sngs i like

[Steel Sponge]

lol @ listening to chart music. It's always crap. #Hipster4Lyfe

 

IMO all of 2007 sucked.

 

Lol, he's gunna do a best list too gaiz.

 

 

And about 2006, it's the year I got into music. It's definitely not the worst year, even when you take a look at Clappy's review of it.

[Burgerpants]

Thoughts:

10: well it's hinder of course it's gonna be on the list

9: Never heard

8: Never heard

7: guilty pleasure

6: Unpopular opinion maybe, but I still find this song hilarious in any context.

5: yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

4: Duh

3: guilty pleasure

2: guilty pleasure

1: Never hearwaitwhatyousayaboutpetshopboys

[Wumbo]

The Pet Shop Boys thing was just a joke. I love me some Pet Shop Boys.

[Joe Biden]

10. What the fuck is a Hinder?

9. I don't remember this song being popular.

8. I heard a parody of this song before. The parody song is great, but the original is irritating as hell.

7. Too repetitive

6. I find this to be so bad, it's good. Plus, it's the Chad Warden anthem.

5. Daughtry kind of reminds me of Nickelback and Creed, except a lot better. I can't say much for this song, except it's pretty boring.

4. This band still sucks.

3. I was never a big fan of Fergie's attempt at rapping. And the "Fergalicious def" part kind of reminds me of "Anaconda" in a way. That's not a good thing.

2. It's bad, but Turn My Swag On is worse. Still, can't believe that this piece of horse dung made it onto the Billboard Charts.

1. Eh, doesn't really irritate me as much as the other songs do, but I totally understand why you hate it.

 

To be honest, I was expecting there to be a lot more Akon songs on this list.

[CyanideFishbone]

In defense of Linkin Park's In The End, I've always felt the song was about broken trust in friendships and relationships. It wasn't til a few months ago when I looked up info about the song online out of boredom that they wrote it about how one copes with failure in their lives. Not just what I assumed it to be about relationships.

Sure I can go back now and laugh at how stupid nu-metal was in the early 2000s, but I think In The End was much better than a lot of the other shit we got out of that genre like Breaking Benjamin, Papa Roach, Puddle of Mudd, Korn, Limp Bizkit...and dear god....Staind.

Oh and apology not accepted for Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott's unmotivating rock ballad about heroes.

Hey, Korn's great. Or at least their early work is.

 

Yeah, but everything else you listed is pretty damn awful.

[Clappy]

Feels like just yesterday when I alerted you that rap music from my high school years were far more terrible. Looks like you've finally seen the light.

But yeah man, I could have told you 2007 sucked. Not sure where it ranks on my personal worst list, but it's as bad as 2006 by the sounds of it to me.

[Wumbo]

Okay, so... I do love all of these songs. I don't think there's been a Top 10 where I've disliked any of the songs; we haven't sunken that low into the shithole yet. I just wish that the year wasn't so painful to get through. It was so boring, so uninspiring, and so stupid. But every year has its saving graces, and these are the ones I found this year. So let's look at the good side of a bad year, this is...

 

Wumbo's Top 10 Songs of 2007

 

Spoiler

Oh, Fergie. I was waiting to give you credit where credit is due. Thank you.

 

10. "Big Girls Don't Cry" - Fergie

 

 

Like I said before, the problem with Fergie isn't that she has no talent. It's that she constantly squanders her talent to make way for this ugly, unpleasant persona that she shows off in a good majority of her songs. But this song is different. This song showcases that Fergie can sing, and can emote, and can even show a little bit of vulnerability.

 

As far as I'm concerned, Fergie will never release a song as good as this again, especially as she grows older and is trying to desperately win back the crowd who actually loves her ugly songs (and let me tell you, nothing is uglier than DJ Mustard's beats). Oh well. At least we have proof in this song for the artist that Fergie could have been, but chose not to be for the majority of her career. In that sense, this makes the song a little more melancholic.

 

But as it stands, I really do love this song. Does it have cheesy lyrics?

 

And I'm gonna miss you

Like a child misses that blanket

 

Absolutely. But there's a certain amount of cheese I'm willing to forgive if I can get sincerity from an artist who so rarely shows it. And that's what I'm getting with Fergie. God damn, this song tugs at the heartstrings. You honestly don't hear many breakup songs this remorseful from the one who is doing the breaking up. It's a beautiful piece of music from an artist who I wish showcased this side of her more. Oh, well. Big boys don't cry.

 

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...

 

*sniff*

 

Spoiler

 

I did not have much patience for the young rock n' roll crowd this year. The scene just seemed so ludicrously vapid and meaningless to me. I mean, you're not gonna hear any of these pretty boys making a song about domestic abuse or anything, right?

 

9. "Face Down" - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

 

 

Whoa. Um, never mind.

 

Yeah, these guys disappeared from my radar for a bit, and I think after this song they disappeared from everyone else's as well, but I'm glad to see them on the year-end chart, because they brought some clout to the new rock bands of 2007. Not only did they rock harder, they touched on some serious topics.

 

Do you feel like a man

When you push her around

Do you feel better now

As she falls to the ground

 

Yeah, it's about domestic abuse. You didn't expect this kind of topic to be covered in 2007. And if it was, you wouldn't expect it to be covered so well. And if it was, you certainly wouldn't expect it to become popular. But it did, it did, and it did. And the combination of the three factors lands it a spot on my Top Ten list. I mean, in the wrong hands this could have been awful. Like, how would Nickelback have done a song about domestic abuse?

 

 

Uh... this isn't that bad, actually. Okay, back to "Face Down", before I catch myself praising Nickelback again.

 

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus hit the level of desperation and strength in this song just right. I like how it's not a hopeless situation, but it's still a tragic one. They really spin a good story detailing the abuse, and it hits hard. Probably harder than any other rock song this year. Thumbs up to "Face Down".

 

Spoiler

Honestly, the rock scene overall this year was pretty disappointing. I mean honestly, what did we have this year? Nickelback? Hinder? This isn't a rock scene, these are bands that people use to say why they don't listen to rock music. If only there was a band that could take me to my happy place... give me those California grooves and vibes... bring back the good rock music of yesteryear...

 

8. "Snow (Hey Oh)" - Red Hot Chili Peppers

 

 

Oh, hey there, favourite band of all time.

 

Yeah, everybody's got that band where they'll tell anyone who doesn't like them to suck it, and for me, that's the Chili Peppers. They embody the perfect marriage of music to me; they don't take themselves too seriously, but are still capable of going to dark places in their music. I have never heard a band that more understands what music is than the Chili Peppers. I honestly don't know how controversial of a statement that is, but I actually decided back in 2007 that they were my favourite band of all time, and unlike all my other bad 12-year-old opinions, this one stuck with me.

 

"Snow" is a good example of the Peppers chilling out and not really going all out with their sound. Which is perfectly fine; they pull it off well and there's enough energy to keep it going. Chad Smith just keeps wailing on those drums and it's fantastic all the way through. As well as that guitar riff. Anthony Kiedis's vocals, Flea's smooth bassline. Is it any wonder why I think these guys rock?

 

But if I take off my bias glasses, there really were 7 hit songs better than this one. I still think it's awesome, but the Peppers can do better and 2007 even did better. Still love you, RHCP. Still need to see you in concert sometime. Hey oh!

 

Spoiler

You know, for the longest time I considered this song to be Justin Timberlake's best, but now I think his monster comeback single in 2013, "Suit & Tie", really deserves that title. It's slick, smooth, and embodies all of Justin's best star qualities without being overbearing. Not to say Justin can't delve into histrionics though, because when he gets it right... he gets it sooo right.

 

7. "What Goes Around... Comes Around" - Justin Timberlake

 

 

This is just about the most over-the-top thing Justin has ever done, and it really works. First off, if I may compare this to a lesser Timberlake song, this is everything "Cry Me a River" should have been. While the first was whiny, clumsy, and lame, this is fierce, polished, and tight. My favourite part of this song has always been the interlude, where the girl does indeed get karmic retribution for her actions. (Ignoring the video, in which she literally dies for her actions, which... is a little harsh.) She finds that the guy she's with now is doing the exact same thing she did to Justin: cheating. Now that's karma at its finest. What goes around comes back around indeed. And while Justin doesn't exactly take the high road - the song takes on a bit of a "nyahh nyahh nah nyahh nyaah" tone - the production more than makes up for it and does everything to enhance Justin in this song. This is an example of a long song that milks every moment, and that's what long songs need to do. Kudos to you, Justin. Remind me never to cheat on you, lest I get in a car crash and die.

 

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5773650

 

Why? Why? Why did they let you act?

 

Spoiler

Fall Out Boy... so you've returned.

 

6. "Thnks fr th Mmrs" - Fall Out Boy

 

 

Man, I don't care if every time I put these guys at the top I lose credibility. I love Fall Out Boy. That is... when they're having fun with themselves. And this song definitely shows that. I love it when they take their histrionic nature to just that level where it can be viewed as charming. Those strings starting off are a good example of that. Also... monkeys! Monkeys everywhere in the video!

 

I think Fall Out Boy have always had the chops to release some truly enjoyable music, and I love it every time they do. This song rocks all the way through, always keeping your ears hooked, from the verses to the chorus to the bridge, without being too inaccessible and pretentious. The song is approachable as well as being a lot of fun, which suit Fall Out Boy's strengths just fine. Thanks for the 2007 memories, guys.

 

Spoiler

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah!

 

5. "Umbrella" - Rihanna ft. Jay-Z

 

 

I'm aware that this song has been the subject of many a punchline, denoting what's wrong with music these days. I mean, "ella ella eh eh eh?" Now what kind of w-w-w-wacky lyrics are those, am I right?! Well, I've honestly thought that people overreact to that part of the song, which honestly isn't even that bad, and ignore the resto f the song, which functions as an awesome, powerful love song and cements Rihanna as a pop superstar.

 

Yeah, Jay-Z's on this song too but let's be honest, he's the weak link. no one remembers Jay-Z on this song, it's all Rihanna. I don't think Rihanna has ever conveyed more star power than in this song right here. She just explodes with presence in this song and this video, which...

 

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5773657

 

Yeah, this is doing it for me. Sorry guys, I know, oink oink.

 

And I don't want to dwell on that, because I don't want to take away from the fact that this is just a badass song. No, it really is. Rihanna's personality is so forceful and the production complements it so well. God, we need more forceful yet beautiful pop songs. It's a good thing Rihanna could give us this one.

 

Spoiler

You know, I've already praised Fergie for showing vulnerability in a breakup song, and that is truly admirable, to admit that you're not completely over the breakup and it was never a clear-cut decision. But on the other hand, you've got Beyoncé.

 

4. "Irreplaceable" - Beyoncé

 

 

I should hate this song. I really should. Or at least I should like it less than "Big Girls Don't Cry". It goes against everything that song went for. It paints the breakup as too easy, effortless, and unrealistic. And I've never been the hugest fan of Beyoncé as a whole. so why this song over Fergie's? Well... this is Beyoncé's personality at her best.

 

Let's be honest, Beyoncé is always going to be at her best at her most forceful and confident, and that's certainly what she is here. I mean, I love "Crazy in Love", but is that really Beyoncé showcasing her personality? No. This is, though. This shows her as the strong, confident woman that she is, and for this song in particular, I can't find a fault in that.

 

Maybe it's because this guy genuinely does sound like an arrogant asshole, and it's fun to hear Beyoncé take him down a peg. I'd honestly like it if she started doing that with douchey R&B artists. Can we have a Beyoncé for hire for this sort of thing? I need a Jason Derulo diss track, stat!

 

Beyond showcasing Beyoncé's personality though, it's just a catchy-as-hell song. It works on two levels in this way. I could listen to this for a long time without getting tired of it. I won't be casting this song to the left, to the left, is what I'm saying.

 

Spoiler

Okay, even though I didn't put it on my worst list, "Wind it Up" is just a godawful atrocity of a song.

 

 

Who the hell would willingly listen to this? Did this chart because there's a radio station dedicated to torture chambers? God, it's just a mess all the way through. Stefani... what the hell were you thinking?

 

This is the kind of song that scares you into never wanting to hear the artist in question again. Especially when their next single features this douchebag. But you know, first impressions can be deceiving.

 

3. "The Sweet Escape" - Gwen Stefani ft. Akon

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0lf_fE3HwA

 

I can't help it, I just think this is a ridiculously catchy song.

 

Gwen Stefani works with the beat really well, matching it with her vocals every time. And I've found out the best way to enjoy Akon: give him three lines and he won't ruin too much.

 

I guess you could call this a guilty pleasure pick more than anything, but hell, it's a good guilty pleasure pick. Catchy all the way through, and just enough flavour to make it interesting and memorable. Yes, you have been a real bad girl, Gwen Stefani, but I forgive you for "Wind it Up" with this song and all your other ones. WOOO HOOO, YEEE HOOO!

 

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpgTC9MDx1o

 

This stupid fucking band...

 

Look, I've made it clear of my distaste for Maroon 5's music as of late. It's dull, it's processed, and it's distant from any recognizable emotion. Honestly, I just long for the days when it was well processed. I mean really well done.

 

2. "Makes Me Wonder" - Maroon 5

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAebYQgy4n4

 

This is Maroon 5's sound at their most polished, and I love it. Unlike the awful singles that Maroon 5 had last year, this one is commanding and it pumps. It knows exactly what kind of mood it's going for: douchebaggy. and it hits that note just right.

 

The big difference is that this song is fun to listen to. It's catchy as all hell, with just the right beat and just the right instruments to get the job done. Even when Maroon 5 are making processed music, they can be really good at it. They just need to be in the right mood. Apparently, "douchebag" is the right mood for these guys. As long as they make music like this, who am I to complain?

 

Maybe Maroon 5 will get back to what made their music great. But for now, at least we had "Makes Me Wonder". And that's nothing to frown at.

 

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvh5KeZ-85A

 

Oh god, the rap this year. It... it really got to me.

 

There were a few good rap songs this year, but I just could not shake the taste of all the crappy, lazy, uninteresting rap songs that came out this year. It was just... it was really bad. I don't even want to talk about it. Instead, let's talk about the exception to that mess. The one true saviour of rap music this year. The one who traversed the charts and topped my list. He is the one, the only... Yeezy.

 

1. "Stronger" - Kanye West

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsO6ZnUZI0g

 

I feel like I've been blessed by Jesus Christ Himself.

 

I gotta say, despite anything he's done or any song he's released that I don't like, Kanye will always be my favourite rapper. Why? Well, an underlying theme of my Top 10 list has been presence and personality. And I don't think that any rapper has cultivated as much of a presence or personality as Kanye has. His ego is just out of control, and let's be honest, we all live it. He's kind of this psycho genius, maddeningly praising himself even when no one else will.

 

The song heavily samples "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk, and I have to say, I think it improves on the original significantly. Kanye's rapping, as well as the remix of the song, gives it the edge that it needs. We all know that Kanye loves to sample (well... most of us), and this is one of the best examples of a sample done right.

 

Hell, this isn't even one of my all-time favourite Kanye songs, but I still love it. As many of the other songs have been on this list, it's forceful, full of personality, and interesting. 2007 may have been a bad year, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And through these songs, 2007 has made me more resilient to bad music if I can look forward to songs like these. Long live Yeezus.

[Steel Sponge]

Pretty good lists.

 

#1 is an interesting choice, but (#8) A BAY BAY BAY just annoys me a whole lot more IMO. Was expecting Soulja Boy to be your #1, but I'm wrong.

 

I was also expecting your #8 to be your #1 best, but "Stronger" is really good too.

 

Also, "Where would you rank this song" speed round, go:

 

Welcome to the Black Parade

This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race

Before He Cheats

My Love

Hey There Delilah

Lost Without U

Rehab

Paralyzer

No One

[Wumbo]

"Welcome to the Black Parade": #20. I honestly do like MCR. I just don't know how much I relate to their music. "Teenagers" is probably their best song.

 

"This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race": #37. Okay, now see, this is annoying Fall Out Boy right here. They don't sound like they're having any fun on this track; they just sound pretentious. The catchy chorus with the "ooh ooh ooh"s really saves this one, but if I'm mildly disliking songs even before #40, you know this year ain't right.

 

"Before He Cheats": #69. I'm fine with seeing the ugly side of an affair, but I think Carrie Underwood is trying to play this off as charming. Like... really? You wrecked his car. That's the foundation of your song. Think about that.

 

"My Love": #13. Justin Timberlake is cool!

 

"Hey There Delilah": #54. Blech. I guess this isn't the worst thing ever, but it still makes my skin crawl for some reason.

 

"Lost Without U": #57. You know, I think I see why people didn't talk about Robin Thicke before "Blurred Lines". It's because his songs were booooring.

 

"Rehab": #18. It really is sad that Amy Winehouse died so young. There's certainly an attitude here that no other artist this year really had. I love the throwback to the style of Motown as well.

 

"Paralyzer": #24. Kind of a dopey song, but Finger Eleven has much more convincing rock star swagger than their other Canadian friends.

 

"No One": #17. I've always liked Alicia Keys, and I kind of like the minimalist beat this has going.

[SG19]

What would you consider the best year for music in the 2000's era?

[Wumbo]

What would you consider the best year for music in the 2000's era?

I don't really think the 2000's ever had a good year in pop music, but 2000 was probably the closest for me.

[Wumbo]

All right, happy May everybody! New month, new year, new music. Now let's see. I can't help but wonder if there's an entire era of music I've been neglecting. I've done this decade, the one before, the 90's, the 80's, the 60's, and even the 50's. Yeah, something definitely seems missing from this bunch. I wonder if I can hope to fix it with the new year I chose...

 

1973

 

Hmm... yeah, that seems to work out great. So will this year get it on, or go round in circles? Top 10, Bottom 10, start posting your lyrics to songs from this year.

[Steel Sponge]

[Lyrics intensifies]