Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[Wumbo]

All right, after plowing through the piles of shit that were the worst songs of the year, now it's time to get to the reasons why 1990 might not be completely terrible. Sure, there were bad, awful, horrible songs. But to juxtapose that, there were also good, wonderful, spectacular songs. And to get a better picture of the year, it's only fair to look at both. So let's balance out the negativity with some positivity!.

 

Wumbo's Top 10 Songs of 1990

 

Spoiler

Do you have the power? Snap! does! (Punctuation in band names, man...)

 

10. "The Power" - Snap!

 

 

Call me a junkie, but the Eurodance scene is one of my favourite parts of the early 90s. There's just such... well, power and conviction behind the songs. It's sort of like the EDM of the early 90s. The lyrics were there, but they really weren't as important as the mood they set. And I honestly think Eurodance did a better job with that than EDM ever had. This song is essentially a bunch of samples, but they all weave together to create this powerful Eurodance jam so well that I don't even really care. You absorb the forceful elements being thrusted at you, right down to the Jocelyn Brown sample. Does this song have the power? Definitely, and I'm glad to put it on my list. This is one song that won't break my heart of hearts. (??)

 

Spoiler

Okay, so by this point you should realize that I'm entitled to at least one guilty pleasure per Top 10. It's sort of a quota of mine that I have to fill. Besides, everybody has them! And really, why should one be ashamed of the music he or she likes? You can't help it if you're genetically wired that way! Why should I be ashamed to have a New Kids on the Block song in my Top 10?

 

...well, when I put it that way, it does sound ridiculous. Fuck.

 

9. "Step by Step" - New Kids on the Block

 

 

Oh god, do I embarrass myself.

 

Okay, so the monthly justification of the one song that belongs nowhere near my Top 10 is represented by New Kids on the Block. A boy band. How? Okay, let's get an explanation ready.

 

This is actually one of the first NKOTB songs I ever heard, well, the first song I heard from back when they were in their heyday and not when they were 30-year-old perverts scoping out bikini babes. And you see the New Kids on the Block and you have your preconceptions about them and you think, "oh, this is gonna blow". But then you actually hear the song and you think, "Hey. This is legitimate pop music."

 

Yes, it's got its cheesy moments, like that one part where they actually take turns singing the steps. Come on, boys. But for the most part, it sounds pretty great, or at least greater than one would expect a NKOTB song to sound like. Listen to that chorus! The lyrics are as simplistic as you would expect, but honestly it's pretty solid all the way through. There's quite a few awesome moments in this song. I love that moment before the chorus where Jordan Knight goes "a matter... of time"... it's a good song, guys! Really!

 

And I guess my knowledge of how much worse these guys can do - specifically this year if you want an example - makes me thankful that when they're on point, they're pretty damn rooted on that point. And so, step by step, this song reached my Top 10. Sorry.

 

Spoiler

1990 saw the breakthroughs of several great artists. One went on to rule the decade, one went on to be prime players in the decade, and most kind of fizzled out of the Hot 100 within two years. Let's look at one of the fizzlers first.

 

8. "Do Me!" - Bell Biv DeVoe

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1V3XSHr_Yg

 

If Keith Sweat was taking a potentially interesting genre to the shitter, Bell Biv DeVoe was there to take it right out of his grubby hands. Now these guys were the kings of new jack swing. Even better than Boyz II Men for me, and I'll tell you why. Along with "Poison", this song solidified Bell Biv DeVoe as a funky-ass group that never let up. The one-two punch they had this year was absolutely killer, notching them two Top 5 hits. And oh boy, did they deserve them. Bell Biv DeVoe could work with this genre to its full catchy, funky, and sexy potentials alike. I like the angle Boyz II Men took just fine, but there's a reason "Motownphilly" is my favourite song by them. We absolutely needed more Bell Biv DeVoe through this decade. But life is cruel, so maybe we should be thankful for what we got.

 

Spoiler

Sometimes it's best to just let the beautiful singing do the speaking. Here you go.

 

7. "Hold On" - En Vogue

 

 

As far as a capella singing at the beginning of a song goes, I slightly prefer "Tha Crossroads" still, but this gets the job done. and so do En Vogue, who were a pretty awesome all-girl group of the 90's that I don't really hear anyone talk about anymore, which is a damn shame. People go on about TLC or Mariah Carey, but I honestly think that En Vogue combined the best qualities of both, which are TLC's edge and Mariah Carey's showstopping vocals. Maybe none of the members were a Left Eye or a Mariah, but I think the marriage of the two elements made them work. And I think it's most evident in this song, where it starts with a beautiful rendition of Smokey Robinson's "Who's Lovin' You", and then delves right into some funky, edgy beats that are complimented by Cindy's edgy vocals. What's interesting is that the lyrics are actually quite passive, basically giving advice to a woman on how to love their man properly. Ehh... don't pay too much attention to them. Of course, with En Vogue you're never gonna get it either, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, great song from a great group, and I hope to make people remember them again.

 

Spoiler

I'm honestly not a huge Janet Jackson fan.

 

 

Maybe it's just the name. Maybe I'm just expecting more than I should from a member of the Jackson clan. Is that really fair to her, to thrust these expectations upon her that she should make music exactly like her brother?

 

6. "Rhythm Nation" - Janet Jackson

 

 

Well, obviously not. Okay, Janet Jackson. Please just make music like this!

 

God damn, I love this song. The best part about it is that while you can obviously tell it's derived from her brother's successful tunes, it's also got a certain quality all on its own that is uniquely Janet Jackson. It's almost got a harsher edge to it, and it's more successfully political than any of Jacko's singles. Look, I love Michael, but this hard-hitting tune beats "Black or White" any day of the week. And that's not even one of his bad political songs.

 

 

You already did "We Are the World", Michael. Why are you doing it again?

 

The difference between a good political song and a bad one is the charge it has. If you're going to make a statement, then you'd better make a damn good one. And that's what Janet Jackson does here. "We are a part of the rhythm nation". And damn, what a rhythm the song has. It's enough to make you wanna get up and dance, which I suppose is the objective. And even without the political message of unity behind it, the song still kicks ass in that way. Everybody should strive to be a part of this rhythm nation.

 

Spoiler

All hail your new overlord, set to rule your music for the entire decade.

 

5. "Vision of Love" - Mariah Carey

 

 

See? I told you I loved Mariah Carey! Why wouldn't I? She's an amazing artist, and this is my favourite song by her. It's a perfect introduction to the artist who ruled the Billboard charts during the 90's. It uses all of the tricks she has: her low, crooning register, her high, belting register, and her super-high, angelic register. You can definitely see where Ariana Grande gets all her inspiration from just by listening to this song. And if she's going to pick an artist to emulate, Mariah Carey's an obvious, but still damn good choice. I had a vision of love, and it was this song. God bless Mariah Carey and her beautiful voice. And all hail.

 

Spoiler

Before Alanis Morissette came on the scene, we as Canadians had to make one of our girls a rock star. Enter Alannah Myles, probably the hardest rocker of the year. And it wasn't an easy competition either. Aerosmith and Tom Petty had hits this year. Really good ones, in fact. But there's something about this song that makes it stand above the others. Maybe it's that slooow southern styyyyyle...

 

4. "Black Velvet" - Alannah Myles

 

 

I love Alannah Myles, I honestly do. My parents owned two of her albums and nearly every song on them kicked ass. I don't think she ever really successfully transitioned into the 90's, but her music was so good I don't really care, either. And if there was ever a year in the 90's for Alannah Myles to notch a hit, this was it. 

 

Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell

 

There's something about the lyrics to rock songs that just paint a picture for you so succinctly and perfectly. Alannah Myles does a very good job of this in "Black Velvet", painting a picture of the setting, and also this heartthrob that apparently is fond of wearing black velvet...

 

"Love Me Tender" leaves 'em crying in the aisle

 

Holy crap, this song is about Elvis. DUH.

 

Between Myles' vocals and the lyrics, this song does a perfect job of a tribute to a classic rock n' roll singer, which she no doubt gets some of her slow southern style from. When I have to pick the best rock song to get big this year, I say, "Black Velvet", if you please!

 

Spoiler

Madonna was freaking everywhere in the 80's. And when this year came around, it looked as though she might rule the 90's as well. For a brief period, I think she did. Strike a pose!

 

3. "Vogue" - Madonna

 

 

Perhaps there are better Madonna songs, but I think this one is the most iconic, and by extension the most representative of who Madonna is: a superstar. And she'll let you know it as well as the rest of the world, because who better to publicize yourself than yourself? Well, I guess publicists do their jobs pretty well, but you see my point.

 

There's a reason why Madonna didn't fade away in the 90's, and it was because of her sheer determination to stick around. This song definitely feels like it belongs in the 90's, and that's because Madonna was smart and capitalized on the moving dance trends to make her statement. And I honestly see Madonna mostly through this song. She's constantly been re-inventing herself, but I think this is definitely where she belongs: name-dropping famous, glamorous celebrities, striking poses, and getting to it. Vogue!

 

Spoiler

Welcome back, Bell Biv DeVoe! Nice to see ya twice.

 

2. "Poison" - Bell Biv DeVoe

 

 

Man, the more I think about Wilson Phillips having the #1 song of the year, the more it pisses me off, especially since this is obviously the defining sound of 1990, and by far the best version of it. "Poison" has a killer beat, drilling into your head the more and more it plays. And the members of Bell Biv DeVoe are at top form, each getting their own part of the song and doing their absolute best with it. Every minute of this song pumps, and it totally deserves the #1 spot on the year-end charts. But I guess sometimes life isn't fair, because not only did it not get the #1 spot in that regard, it also lost out on my list. What could beat it? Well, let's see...

 

Don't shoot me.

 

Spoiler

Sinéad O'Connor's...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcZZlQ4Tmrc

 

Oh, SHUT UP!

 

...Sinéad O'Connor's I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got is one of my favourite albums. Each song is masterfully written and composed, and it all comes together for a beautiful album full of eclectic styles and powerful performances. And naturally, the one written by pop superstar Prince would be the one to become a hit. And maybe the month of love has turned me into a bit of a sap. But dammit, I love this song and I'm going to defend my pick! So you've probably figured it out, but just to make it official, here you go:

 

1. "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinéad O'Connor

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0

 

Now, anything else to say?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUj6NQJG8iw

 

Okay, good! Let's talk about the song.

 

"Nothing Compares 2 U" was probably going to be the only song on that album that would ever become a hit, because it's the only one that sounds like a hit. When you have Prince as the writer, it makes sense. That's not to discount the rest of the album: "not a hit" doesn't always mean "bad", in fact many times it's quite the opposite. Thank you, yes. i'm always here with my insightful commentary.

 

But even so, this song is one that can resonate with a lot of people. It's so simply written, but so full of powerful heartbreak that it works. Sinéad O'Connor's voice sounds like shes on the verge of breaking into tears, and wavers between soft and belting, which is exactly what the doctor ordered. But then again, he's a fool.

 

This is easily the least interesting song on the album, but that speaks more about the album than the song. The stripped-down, raw emotion of the song is what makes it work, and what makes it so powerful, and what makes people remember it over WILSON FREAKING PHILLIPS GOD DAMN IT. Sorry, sorry... but anyway, that's my spiel, and why "Nothing Compares 2 U" is my favourite hit song of 1990. Put simply, nothing compares to it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uQ76qrlK78

 

Okay, now I can't tell if you're mocking my taste or my jokes. Whatever. 1990: okay year overall. Seeya tomorrow when I pick a new year to tackle for March!

[CyanideFishbone]

Great list and can't wait for March.

[Sweat]

So.... where is Jane Child

[Burgerpants]

Where's Hammerman

[Steel Sponge]

Pretty good lists. And because you were expecting this...where would you put?....:

 

Love Shack

It Must Have Been Love

Blaze of Glory

Blame it on the Rain

All or Nothing

Just A Friend

We Didn't Start the Fire

Free Fallin'
Swing the Mood

Opposites Attract

[Wumbo]

So.... where is Jane Child

#27. To be honest, upon listening to it for the first time I didn't have a clue why you wanted JANE CHILD of all things to be in my top 10. And... yeah, it's the singing that brings this down. It's actually a fun song, but not top 10 material, even for a year as iffy as 1990. No way.

 

Where's Hammerman

"U Can't Touch This" was #13, consider it honourably mentioned. "Have You Seen Her" was #86, consider it dishonourably mentioned.

 

Pretty good lists. And because you were expecting this...where would you put?....:

 

Love Shack

It Must Have Been Love

Blaze of Glory

Blame it on the Rain

All or Nothing

Just A Friend

We Didn't Start the Fire

Free Fallin'

Swing the Mood

Opposites Attract

"Love Shack": #17. Love me the B-52's, such an interesting, eccentric group. Surprisingly didn't have any room for them on my top 10, but they're definitely worth a mention. ("Roam" almost made it at #11.)

 

"It Must Have Been Love": #78. Boooring, especially from Roxette.

 

"Blaze of Glory": #55. What do you get when you take "Wanted Dead or Alive" and play it serious? You get "Blaze of Glory", a song I guess I don't have animosity towards but also feels like a total waste all the same.

 

"Blame it on the Rain": #89. Dangerously close to my Bottom 10. Saved by the fact that some artists can be worse real than completely fake. What can I say?

 

"All or Nothing": #26. I, uh... I know the whole controversy behind Milli Vanilli, but I still do think that this song is okay. Um... it's got an interesting beat. Keeps you hooked. I'm dreadfully sorry.

 

"Just a Friend": #19. YOUUUUU, YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEED, but unfortunately not quite enough for Top 10. Biz Markie is still the man.

 

"We Didn't Start the Fire": #51. By far the stupidest thing this man has ever written. Not completely unsalvageable, but I expect a lot more from Billy Joel.

 

"Free Fallin'": #22. I do like this song a lot. I just kept questioning whether it was truly interesting enough to break the Top 20. There were a lot of good tunes this year.

 

"Swing the Mood": #70. This one honestly kind of pisses me off. How did this become a hit? It's just 50's songs melded together with the same boring beat on every song this year. Go back and listen to those songs if you really want to, but keep Jive Bunny out of it. ("Jive Bunny"??)

 

"Opposites Attract": #87. I think the cat thing pisses me off more than it should. That, and this song is kitschy and totally lame.

[Wumbo]

All right friends, so it's March now. A nice, 31-day month. I'll take the leeway I can get. So, which year shall it be this time? Well, I've gone back 32 years to 1983. What if we multiplied that by 1.5 and went back 48 years? Math! The perfect segue. Put on your way-back goggles this time around folks, this month we're taking the psychedelic psubway all the way back to...

 

1967

 

​Ah, the 60's. A time for peace, love, and uninhibited sex parties. But what about the music? Will the charts light my fire, or will they just be full of somethin' stupid? Only one way to find out! Top and Bottom 10 lists coming sometime this month!

[Burgerpants]

were happy togetheeeeeeeeeer

[Joe Biden]

IT WAS 20 YEARS AGO TODAY

[SG19]

COME ON BABY, LIGHT MY FIRE

[Steel Sponge]

AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIIIIIIGH ENOUGH....

[Clappy]

Lyrics

[Sweat]

I've been looking back and 1967 and it's a pretty good year. For fuck's sake, I'm a Believer, Light My Fire, For What It's Worth and even Respect, one of the most well-known songs in American history! This will be fun to see.

 

 

EDIT: Oh my god, I just realized that White Rabbit is on the list, too.

[Sweat]

Not to rush, but will you have this finished soon?

[Wumbo]

Haha sorry guys! (Btw thanks for bumping this up Hali so people don't forget, which is something I worried about a little. ) University stuffz, it's been yet another hectic month. Plus, admittedly older years are harder to work with because sometimes the popular stuff back then doesn't last through the ages so I'm hearing a lot of these songs for the first time. What kind of pop nerd am I? 3:

 

But this will be finished by the very end of March at the latest! And come April I'll be working with a much easier year plus I'll have some time off, so I vow to get that one out earlier!

[Wumbo]

Okay, 1967! A year when the education system was even more fucked than it is today, if you can believe it. Sorry, just... university life, man. First world problems. anyway, let's get down to the music!

 

 

Yes, 1967! A fine year for Jimi Hendrix...

 

What? No hits? Well, then Pink Floyd?

 

Okay, maybe a little soon for that. Um, Big Brother and the Holding Company! No? The Beatles?

 

Yes! Okay, good! Sgt. Pepper, right? Not a single song?

 

Hmm... I must not have been listening to enough music back then. Oh well.

 

No, truthfully I liked what I heard from this year a lot. In fact, I'm giving it a distinction: as of now, this is the least bad Bottom 10 that I've ever had to review. The sons are still pretty dismal. But I'll probably be nicer to these songs than I have been to previous Bottom 10 baddies. 

 

...yep, it's going to be one of those reviews. I'll still give these songs the ass-whooping they deserve, but perhaps in line with the era, it'll be a more peaceful, more loving ass-whooping. Let's not waste any more time and get to:

 

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Songs of 1967

 

Spoiler

Oh... boy, I'm not making any friends with this pick.

 

10. "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" - Frankie Valli

 

 

Okay, this song is a bonafide classic, reaching #2 on the chart and being among Frankie Valli's biggest hits. And I just put it on my Bottom 10. Why? Well, this is a song that I've always felt doesn't quite know what it wants to be. 

 

It starts off nice and slow, but then you just have these random instruments plunking their way into the song and it just feels awkward, like a session musician walked in by mistake. And then it accelerates to... some kind of mid-tempo climax? ...huh?

 

But if I'm also being completely honest, I can't hate on this song too badly because it's really a good song... performed by other people. I actually love the version on Just Dance 4! And I was really expecting to like the original, but it just let me down. At its core, it's a good song, but not with this performance. I can take my ears off of it, thank you.

 

Spoiler

Okay, so let's talk about songs about cities for a second.

 

 

Many a good song has been written about New York. But you know, maybe New York gets a few too many songs written about it. What about a city like... San Francisco? Let's see how that turned out in 1967.

 

9. "San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)" - Scott McKenzie

 

 

zzzzzzzzz

 

Okay, research. Who is this Neil Young wannabe?

 

All right, so Scott McKenzie was born in Jacksonville, Florida in 1939. This was his only hit. I can see why.

 

It's just such a boring slog of a song. It never really changes the tempo, only occasionally the rhythm. I get no excitement from listening to this. I guess those Florida folk just don't know how to write about California, huh? Better not let Flo Rida re-write "California Love" any time soon, for a multitude of reasons.

 

There's just no reason for me to listen to this song. I guess it has a rock "edge", but in 1967 so many songs rocked harder than this one, even on the pop charts. This seriously bored me in comparison. I hope to God San Fran never used this as a promo. People don't like to be told what to wear in their hair when they go to new cities. Just sayin'.

 

Spoiler

Soundtrack hits!

 

8. "Alfie" - Dionne Warwick

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oEXpXkFGyE

 

Man, me and soundtrack hits. We either get along just fine or not at all. This one? Well, it's a lesser hate, but this is still a really dopey-sounding song to me. Just the opening line loses me.

 

What's it all about... Alfie?

 

Okay, this is probably one of the most superficial reasons I've ever hated a song, but... Alfie is not a name to write a song about. I heard the movie was good, but it bothers me that they couldn't have a better name for this character. Alfie's what you call a dog or something, I don't know.

 

And if your whole song is based around a silly name, then you're not going to win much respect from me. What's it all about? It's about time to move on to the next song.

 

Spoiler

Now that we've looked at a song that loses me from opening lines, let's look at a song that loses me from opening notes.

 

7. "Up, Up and Away" - The 5th Dimension

 

 

Yeah, I'm being really superficial on this list, aren't I? Well, then again, the opening to a song is important. It can hook the listener or leave them hanging. Do, uh... do those expressions work together? Ah, whatever.

 

And this song just does not do it for me in any regard. The opening notes sound like I'm listening to the bumper music for my grandpa's easy listening radio station. I don't really want to think of that when I'm listening to music from 1967. And something about the entire make of this song just rubs me the wrong way. It doesn't have enough of an edge to be rock, it doesn't have enough soul to be soul, and it's really not even upbeat enough to be pop. It just sits there, like a piece of moldy cheese, Moldy cheese music is not my kind of music, in case that wasn't clear. Onward!

 

Spoiler

6. "This is My Song" - Petula Clark

 

 

I had more of a stomach for easy listening in 1959's chart. I kind of had to or else my stomach would have imploded. Here, I'm kind of being an asshole to the genre. Case in point, Petula Clark, who is by all means probably a very nice lady but just happened to record this useless song.

 

Yes, this is your song, Petula Clark. It's just not a very good one. I'm sorry guys, I'm at a loss here. This song is just soooo freakin' bland. In the era of 1967, blandness doesn't fly. Ergo, this song is not fly. Next!

 

Spoiler

Now this next song's actually a pretty-sounding one! Too bad the singer sounds butt-ugly.

 

5. "My Cup Runneth Over" - Ed Ames

 

 

Yeah, there's a mismatch here. I think that maybe this song would have done better with a more poppy-sounding singer? At least for me. As is, it's honestly just more easy-listening sludge and there's so much more I would rather be listening to from this year. I honestly kind of hate this list for being so mediocrely bad. I can't talk about it properly. But if we're ever going to get to the Top 10, we need to sift through the bottom. *sigh* Let's keep going!

 

Spoiler

Really? You named your song "Silence is Golden"? Okay, you're just baiting me at this point. Fine, I'll take it.

 

4. "Silence is Golden" - The Tremeloes

 

 

Hah! Silence is golden! Too bad they didn't consider that nugget of info before making this song, amirite? Ha ha ha ha...oh, god what am I doing with myself.

 

Yeah, like I said, there were a lot of hard rocking songs this year, but this was not one of them. Instead, it's more of a hard wailing song.

 

Somebody's voice is on this track and I just can't stand it. It sounds like he's got his balls caught in a waffle iron while singing. And let me tell you from experience, that hurts! Okay, maybe not experience. But anyway, this is a boring "rock" song with an insufferable voice on the track. Destined for my list? I think so. Sometimes, silence really is golden.

 

Spoiler

The... the easy listening this year, guys. It really got to me.

 

3. "Please Love Me Forever" - Bobby Vinton

 

 

What do you do when a song starts out with the lyrics "please love me forever" and "don't forget me ever"? You end up putting it on your shitlist, that's what you do. I'm sorry, in the world of the late 60's, there is no use for this slow, schmaltzy crap. If you're going to write pop at this point, write pop! Be like The Monkees, who were tons of fun. Don't be like... this.

 

I really don't have an affinity for short songs that never pick up, either. They're almost like a vignette of a song; because they're so short and slow, they feel unfinished. It's weird, but I would almost like this boring song better if it were a little longer. At least I could find some logical sense in that. This is a paradox of a song: too fast and too slow. Stop messing with my mind, Bobby Vinton. That's not nice.

 

Spoiler

2. "Don't You Care" - The Buckinghams

 

 

I really just think it's ironic that the chorus of a song called "Don't You Care" sounds like it's being sung by a guy on melatonin. It's cute, but the irony isn't enough to save this song at all. And it would be different if the guy's voice was just boring, but it's also kind of annoying. I think part of the problem was all these poppy rock acts this year I just kept on comparing to The Monkees, to their detriment. The Monkees were a band I grew up with. Not... The Buckinghams. What, were they the Fleetwood Mac guy's lost relatives?

 

Just a thoroughly unimpressive song for me, much like most other tepid crap on this list. But even to get to the top of a list in a merely mediocre Bottom 10 like this one, you still have to go the extra mile. You have to combine all the traits I hated about this Bottom 10 into one. You have to be... well, just click on the next spoiler tab.

 

Spoiler

You have to be this.

 

1. "I Got Rhythm" - The Happenings

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FK62pW35GIw

 

In a Bottom 10 full of annoyance, boredom, and just general pathetic music, this one was the most annoying, most boring, and most pathetic. Listen to these guys' voices! Did they mentor for Peter Cetera?

 

I said that Bobby Vinton's song could have benefited from being longer, but this one could have benefited from being shorter. Much shorter. And again, I just find an irony in this song. A song called "I Got Rhythm" has the guys in the beginning singing off-rhythm! Hey, give this to 1967: they were at least funny with their bad songs' titles.

 

But no, this was easily the worst of anything I heard from this year. A boring, unfocused, annoying, pathetic mess. My least favourite hit song of 1967. Stay tuned for the good stuff... well, later today, I guess!

[Joe Biden]

Yeah, the only song I really liked from this list was #10, but the others were boring or just plain bad. Let's face it. If it weren't for Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, The Animals, The Zombies, The Monkees, and other famous bands and singers from 1967, the year would've been very boring, bland, and forgettable.

 

That #1 choice though. God damn it, if you want to cover a George Gershwin hit, at least do it right.

[Sweat]

I'm just glad that bands like The Doors and Jefferson Airplane gave a little bit of flavor to the charts, both bands I expect to see in your top 10

[Ohad]

1967 and 1969 are seriously the two best years in music history

 

In terms of top 100, it has Penny Lane and Light My Fire, which will both obviously be in your top 10. I don't know much about the rest. 

[Wumbo]

We'll see, guys. We'll see.

 

All right, now let's get to the good stuff! As you can probably imagine, in an eclectic year like 1967, even the pop charts rocked hard. Rock, soul, pop, all on point. And like 1983, there are a lot of songs I could have put on this Top 10. In fact, here's another quick honourable mentions list of the 10 songs that just missed being on top:

 

Spoiler

"Cold Sweat" - James Brown

"Friday on My Mind" - The Easybeats

"Gimme Little Sign" - Brenton Wood

"Gimme Some Lovin'" - Spencer Davis Group

"Let it Out (Let it All Hang Out)" - The Hombres

"Pleasant Valley Sunday" - The Monkees

"Somebody to Love" - Jefferson Airplane

"The Letter" - The Box Tops

"Windy" - The Association

"(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher" - Jackie Wilson

 

Okay, that's out of the way! Now let's get to the really, really good stuff! Onward to...

 

Wumbo's Top 10 Songs of 1967

 

Spoiler

10. "Jimmy Mack" - Martha and the Vandellas

 

 

There was a lot of great soul this year, and thus you'll be seeing a lot of it on this list. Here's the first entry, at #10. The song just pops with its soul, which was a pretty great combination of music to have in the 60's. Not that pure soul wasn't making it on the charts as well, but I always love when genre blending goes right. Like Motown meets The Monkees. It's great.

 

And yeah, by extension it's a simple song, but who says all songs gotta make you think? Sometimes they just gotta make you feel good, and bob your head a little. That's what this song does for me. It also makes me clap along, but... I've got typing to do.

 

Spoiler

Imagine me and you...

 

I do!

 

9. "Happy Together" - The Turtles

 

 

Yeah, if you wanted the sunshiniest, most feel-good rock song of this year, you didn't go to The Monkees. You went to the Turtles, who seriously delivered with this upbeat, shiny, awesome pop song.

 

It may be just me, but the song also sounded somewhat cryptic to me. Just that creeping guitar, and the eerie way the main line is repeated at the end of the song... I'm just sayin', am I the only one who could picture it being played over the soundtrack of a stalker? Oh well. Still a fun song that has lasted throughout the ages for good reason. Just... don't start playing it for me late at night as I'm going to sleep.

 

Spoiler

Hey, maybe this was the sunshiniest, catchiest, poppiest rock song of the year.

 

8. "Brown Eyed Girl" - Van Morrison

 

 

God, this is the kind of song that just makes you happy to exist, you know? Happy to exist so you can be happy listening to this. It's a good time, listening to Van Morrison.

 

The lyrics just pump you up for life. Laughin' and a runnin', skippin' and a jumpin'. Makin' love in the green green grass. Somehow I feel like this song summed up the entire attitude of the 60's. Which is funny, because it's actually about nostalgia. Well, now you can look at this song and remember singing "sha la la la la la" to it. Now that's cosmic. *hits blunt* What? Just trying to get into the atmosphere.

 

Spoiler

A curious thing about my love for The Supremes: I actually like them better when they don't use what many consider to be their best trait.

 

7. "The Happening" The Supremes

 

 

Sure, Diana Ross can belt it, but I always liked The Supremes for their ability to create catchy, poppy soul songs. And this is one of their catchiest and poppiest, which is interesting, because the lyrical content certainly doesn't make it happy!

 

When you find that you left the future behind

Cause when you got a tender love you don't take care of

Then you better beware of the happening

 

Uh... happy happy joy joy?

 

No, I like this song a lot. The contrast between the lyrics and the sound is great. Plus, it sends a good message: don't take your significant other for granted. Or else beware of the happening. And if you can't listen to Diana Ross's advice, whose can you listen to?

 

Spoiler

So, looking back on the year, it looks like The Byrds were highly influential.

 

 

A lot of bands this year I thought sounded like The Byrds or at least drew inspiration from them. And while sounding like The Byrds is not a bad thing at all to do in pop music, I still appreciate those who tried to spice things up a bit.

 

6. "Incense and Peppermints" - Strawberry Alarm Clock

 

 

Yes, Strawberry Alarm Clock! The band that sounds like a Beatles song title. They released their biggest hit this year, "Incense and Peppermints", and it became a smash hit, hitting the top spot on Billboard, and becoming a hippie anthem for generations. Well... mostly that generation, but still.

 

"Incense and Peppermints" is just one of those songs that makes you wanna chill out. Maybe smoke a blunt, get arrested by the cops, sent to jail, and start sharing every Tommy Chong post you find on Facebook. I have a feeling that experience can only really relate to this generation, but I digress.

 

It really is a good chill-out song though. The singer is distinctive yet still captures the mood of the song, the harmonies are really nice, and it just has an all-around great laid-back atmosphere. So put that in your pipe and smoke it! (Disclaimer: please be careful what you put in your pipe and smoke.)

 

Spoiler

5. "Never My Love" - The Association

 

 

There's one word that comes to mind when I think of this song: d'awwwww.

 

Okay, maybe that's a bit condescending, but... seriously, d'awwww! It's a beautiful, sweet, cute song. Superlatives in love songs such as "forever" and "never" can come off as phony, but the sincerity of this portrayal makes it genuine. I love the atmosphere surrounding this song: wistful and light, yet serious and grounded. The singer is in love, but he is seriously in love, and he seriously needs to tell his girlfriend that. It's a simple song, but sometimes expressions of love can be simple, yet heartwarming at the same time. That's what this song accomplishes. Okay, one more time: D'AWWWWWWW

 

Spoiler

Stevie Wonder, your name is apt.

 

4. "I Was Made to Love Her" - Stevie Wonder

 

 

Look, I already told you that the soul music this year was on point. Indeed, for the whole decade it was. And Stevie Wonder was able to wow the public before he even turned 20! Seriously, we don't get teen stars like this anymore. Times have changed, man. Ask Bob Dylan.

 

But anyway, the song! Another song that bounces all the way through, makes me want to bob my head. And I just love Stevie's voice on this. It's cool and collected, yet loud and brash. The best of both worlds in one vocal performance. The song just never lets go of that energy, with Stevie carrying it through the entire track. God, what a cool song.

 

Spoiler

So, how do you top Stevie Wonder in 1967 soul music? Well, why don't you just call yourself a soul man? Good for advertising, anyway.

 

3. "Soul Man" - Sam & Dave

 

 

But these guys weren't just pretty faces. They were very talented, invested musicians, making some of the best soul music of the decade. Their biggest hit is probably also their best, combining the raunchy instruments with the belting vocals and confident lyrics. Yes, you guys are soul men. Now belt it out!

 

Spoiler

So how do you top even "Soul Man" in soul music? How about just releasing one of the most iconic songs ever? Sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me...

 

2. "Respect" - Aretha Franklin

 

 

I don't think there's a single person alive who hasn't heard this song. More importantly, I don't think there's a single person who doesn't like it. How can anyone hate this song? It's so powerful that it practically compels you to like it! 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me

 

Few can say that they propelled social movements with one song as well as Aretha Franklin did. This song is so ingrained into people's minds because it was so big back then! Between the civil rights movement and gender equity, "Respect" was just what both movements needed for an anthem. And hell, what an anthem it was. Fuckin' love this song. You should too.

 

(Of course, it should probably be said that Otis Redding originally wrote this song, but did his chart on the year-end of 1967? Nope.)

 

Spoiler

I might get some flak for not putting Aretha Franklin at the top of my list. in my defense, it's too obvious of a choice. But in everyone else's defense, it's the only choice. What song this year was more iconic than "Respect"? What song further captured the spirit of 1967 than "Respect"?

 

Well, I've always been a rock music listener at heart. And this year, my heart told me to go with the biggest rock tune of the year. So, ladies and gentlemen, here is The Other Obvious Pick as my #1 song of 1967.

 

1. "Light My Fire" - The Doors

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iSXrZYhJt4

 

Oh, you know that it would be untrue, you know that I would be a liar, if I was to say to you, that this song wasn't destined to be my favourite of the year. For me, this is the anthem that defined the year. Psychedelic rock at its finest, with one of the best bands in the genre. This isn't even my favourite Doors song, but they still knock it out of the park.

 

"Light My Fire" is one of the longest songs on the chart of that year, and despite the public's general consumption of less than three-minute songs, people really wanted to hear the full version of this. when the public clamors to hear a 7-minute version of your song, you have to know that every minute of that song counts. And it does, it really does. It lights my fire, it soothes my soul, and it's just an all-around awesome hit song. This is gold. Peace out, 1967. I'll be coming back to your decade later.