Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[Wumbo]

The Wumbo guarantee is that I will always have these lists up before the month is out! So if not now, then very very soon!

[Wumbo]

Okay, so I've gone on record saying that the 2000s never had a good year in pop music, and 2000 was probably the closest they've ever gotten. ...well guys, I'm preparing to eat my words now, because I loved this year.

 

Part nostalgia and part talent, this year is at least up there with years like 1996. It seems like 2005 is the one defining year of the 2000s where all the bad trends of previous years have pretty much died out and all the bad trends of years to come haven't arrived yet. And 2005 just had a lot of good music., I wasn't expecting to put music I liked on the bottom half of my list, but that's what happened here. It was a really good year!

 

However, that's not to say that there wasn't awful music and that I don't have a bottom list for ya, because there was, and I do. So before we get to the stuff that rocked 10-year-old me into next week, let's clear the shit out the way with...

 

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Songs of 2005

 

Spoiler

 

So everyone remembers the "Cruise" remix, right? That godawful, mish-mash blob of country music and hip hop music trying to come together and find common ground? Well, like most people with ears, I hated that song. But as bad as it was, I could at least imagine the artists on the track having fun. I don't think they actually were, but if you stretch your mind enough you can kinda hear it.

 

What I'm trying to say is, if you're going to make terrible music nullifying two genres at once, then at least try to sound like you're enjoying it. At least Nelly learned that lesson.

 

10. "Over and Over" - Nelly ft. Tim McGraw

 

 

Man, I do not miss when the only crossover possible between country music and hip hop was dull shit like this. I'm not really the biggest fan of either artist here, but this song definitely does not represent them as artists. It doesn't really represent anything except... like, a blank wall.

 

But honestly, the worst parts of this song are when they try to add themselves into the mix. Nelly's "uh, uh, uh"s during the song are laughable at best and pathetic at worst. And Tim McGraw? Well, there's just no country twang in this song for him to grasp onto, no matter how much he tries.

 

Look, genre blending can work. Rock and rap go together well, as do Muppets and heavy metal. (Disclaimer: I have no idea why that second one exists, but I love it.) But if you're just going to take the least exciting parts of each genre and put them together in this moldy mess of a song, well... I don't know what to tell ya, maybe a few rewrites are in order. Or maybe it's all in my heeeaaad... nope, song still sucks.

 

Spoiler

Honestly, it's not the dirtiness, the unnecessary explicitness, or even the misogyny that really bothers me about hip hop. It's when you take one or more of these qualities... and make it flat boring.

 

9. "Candy Shop" - 50 Cent ft. Olivia

 

 

This is one of those songs that I grew up with in 2005, and it was one of my first-ever forages into the world of hip hop. Man, no wonder I thought rap sucked as a kid.

 

Essentially, 50 Cent manages to be a total non-presence in his songs, and the beat usually takes over as the main star. But here, it's just another shitty, vaguely exotic-sounding Scott Storch beat, so it doesn't even have that going for it. Whenever I hear a Scott Storch beat, I just picture a fat white guy playing a drum machine in a simulated Maui resort. It's all so polished and technical... it's ear poison, rather than candy.

 

I suppose the only thing this song really has going for it is Olivia, but even then she's dull as a rock. Still better than anything else on this song, but nothing to write home about. There's nothing sweet about "Candy Shop", and I hope the store gets closed down due to asbestos.

 

Spoiler

...I mean, I've already opened up the can of worms. I may as well bait 'em all at once. (Note: This is terrible fishing practice, but good if you want to get obnoxious dullards out of the way in your review.)

 

8. "Just a Lil Bit" - 50 Cent

 

 

Wow, look! It's 50 Cent and Scott Storch again! I mean... it's almost like I hate both these guys!

 

More than being boring, though, this song is just irritating, with lyrics like this:

 

I wanna unbutton your pants just a little bit

 

You wanna... do that right now, Fiddy? No dinner? No date? The hell kind of pickup line is that?

 

But yes, more than anything, the problems are 50 Cent and Scott Storch. Storch with his vaguely exotic beat that doesn't fit 50 Cent's mumbling at all. Now, finally I'm done talking about these two and I can leave them where they belong: in the cesspool of mid-2000s hip hop. Now stay there!

 

Spoiler

...Hello, Akon.

 

7. "Lonely" - Akon

 

 

Okay, okay, hold on a second. This music video is hilarious, because this is exactly how I picture every Akon concert imaginable. But back to the song, which is terrible.

 

I'm not a fan of Akon by any stretch of the word. But he's at least recognizable with his high-pitched, autotuned whine. I don't know who this is, but it ain't Akon. And usually that would be a good thing, but Akon drops his ear-piercing vocals for this boring drone about how lonely he is. Also... I don't need to hear about how one of the chipmunks is lonely as well.

 

It just kind of boggles my mind how a track this boring can make it so high on Billboard. I mean, as much as I hate 50 Cent, I get that he built up his fame with his first few albums. But this guy? This was one of his first singles! I keep checking Wikipedia and they keep talking about how this song is the "more commercial release", and I'm like... how?! This song is dull as nails! I wouldn't buy it!

 

Well, Akon had better appreciate this song for propelling him into the mainstream, but none of that thanks comes from me. I almost feel lonely in this opinion, actually. Oh well.

 

Spoiler

 

I'm sure there's a chance that some of you may think that I've been putting Chris Brown songs consistently on my worst list because I hate him as a person. And that is unequivocally not true. For example, I hate Cee Lo Green's guts, but I still put him on my Top list of 2011. It's all about the music, man, and the personality you convey. And as we take things back 10 years, before the Rihanna incident happened, it's nice to be reassured that Chris Brown's music was always terrible.

 

6. "Run It!" - Chris Brown ft. Juelz Santana

 

 

The sooner that we all just accept that Chris Brown was the precursor to Justin Bieber in pretty much every way, the better. An obnoxious, preening teenage boy who somehow became a heartthrob despite his total lack of talent and testicles, that grew to be an even more obnoxious pain in everyone's ass as he got older. I wonder if they're friends. If not, why not? Too obvious?

 

Also, who's this guy?

 

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/6519704

 

Oh, right! He was on that "Oh Boy" song I hated in 2002! ...moving on.

 

I might hate this Juelz Santana moron even more than Chris Brown on this song, and that's saying something. I don't think I've ever hated a performer more than Chris Brown on a song with Chris Brown. But here he is in all his unwashed glory, so let's talk about him.

 

First off, adding a grown man to rap about girls doesn't add street cred or whatever you think it adds to Chris Brown, it just makes the whole thing creepy. What is this 22-year-old doing at a high school dance? Jesus Christ.

 

Second, half this mouth-breather's lines are just recycled from much better songs where the artist was either more enjoyable, had more game, or both. Though that's not hard when your reference is the guy featured on a 16-year-old Chris Brown song.

 

Third, while Chris Brown is annoying on this, this guy is flat boring. He has no charisma, no personality, and nothing to make me remember him outside of the first two things. Outclassed by Chris Brown is such a hard knock life, man.

 

God, this shit sucks. But it's a Chris Brown song, so what did you expect?

 

Spoiler

The myth. The legend. The lovely lady lumps.

 

5. "My Humps" - The Black Eyed Peas

 

 

I don't even know if there's anything I have to say about this one. Everybody already knows how awful it is, so do I really need to add to add to the shitpile?

 

Well, I will say that this was a massive guilty pleasure of mine for the longest time, but... no. You know what, I can't do it anymore. This song is garbage. Right down to the most annoying Fergie has probably ever been, the non-existent beat, and worst of all, the fact that this song takes itself way too damn seriously.

 

I think that part, more than anything, is why I can't qualify this song as one of my guilty pleasures anymore. With most songs of this nature, you can kind of feel that nobody involved is really taking it that seriously. That's why I like "Summer Girls" way more than I should. But... no, there's no element of fun in this song here. It's just a bunch of jackasses pandering to the masses. And that sucks.

 

will.i.am's biggest problem is that he always thinks he knows what we like to listen to, yet on an average song a car horn mixed with a lawnmower mixed with a Tickle Me Elmo would sound better than him. Try it out and see if I'm right.

 

God, how can you play this song straight? It boggles my mind. Much like will.i.am himself.

 

Spoiler

4. "Get it Poppin'" - Fat Joe ft. Nelly

 

 

I don't really mean to have so much Nelly slaughter in this countdown. But I want it to be stated that for the record, I think Fat Joe is just completely awful. Just another run-of-the-mill rapper that thinks he's way cooler and edgier than he is. And while Nelly's... passable on the chorus, I guess, I cannot stand whoever they got to do the female vocals on the chorus. It just hits that kind of smug tone for me that really gets under my skin. So for the record, Nelly is just on this by association. no Nelly disrespect intended here. But the song still does very much suck in a kind of blandish, vaguely annoying way. Sometimes that's the worst you can do.

 

Spoiler

 

I really, really miss when Eminem was at his prime, and I wish I was old enough to experience it at the time. It really hurts that I'm talking about him in a Bottom 10 and not a Top 10. But this is 2005, and the only song Eminem had on the charts was this. So let's get to it.

 

3. "Mockingbird" - Eminem

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9bCLPwzSC0

 

I think this song gets more of a pass from people than any other song off of Encore, and I get it, because it sounds like he's at least trying. But for me, this makes it one of the worst songs on the album. Because if this is Eminem when he's trying... well, shit, where the fuck did Eminem go? Where is his personality? His rhymes? His lack of singing?

 

Yeah, that chorus is a big reason why this is so high. If he amounted to anything in the verses, it's all taken away from that off-key, wailing bullshit he spews in the chorus. You couldn't have gotten someone who can sing to do the chorus? It would have made it a whole lot better.

 

I'm also not really a fan of the ugly picture Eminem paints of Kim, especially knowing the controversy over the song named after her. But, hell, I prefer that to this because at least he goes all out back there. I get that he has to tone it down for his kids, but then he comes out of nowhere with this...

 

And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine

I'ma break that birdie's neck

 

Charming. But seriously, pick a tone, Em. Both for your song and your singing.

 

Overall, "Mockingbird" is just another example of Encore's failure as an album, and this one is probably one of the saddest examples. Gives off the impression that Eminem is finished. And so am I.

 

Spoiler

Okay guys, here it comes, the moment you've all been waiting for...

 

THERE'S A NICKELBACK SONG IN MY BOTTOM 10!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=barWV7RWkq0

 

Thank you, thank you. Donations at the door on your way out.

 

2. "Photograph" - Nickelback

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3rXdeOvhNE

 

When I was making this list, I noticed this little gem. And I put it way down here at the bottom. And I ended up thinking to myself, "Is 'Photograph' really that bad?" After due consideration, I can conclude, yes. "Photograph" is really that bad.

 

I mean, why would anyone ever listen to this? It's not a good story, it's not a good song, and oh god, Kroeger is at his Kroegiest here. But back to that story. So this is a song about nostalgia, as far as I can tell. Fair enough. But have a point to it! The way this song is structured, it just meanders from one pointless detail to the next.

 

Remember the old arcade

Blew every dollar that we ever made

The cops seeing us hanging out

They say somebody went and burned it down

 

Yikes! Well... how did that make you feel, finding that out?

 

We used to listen to the radio

And sing along with every song we know

 

...oh, all right then. Um... thanks for that arsonist detail that went nowhere.

 

We said someday we'd find out how it feels

To sing to more than just the steering wheel

 

Okay! So, how does it feel to sing to more than-

 

Kim's the first girl I kissed

I was so nervous that I nearly missed

 

You're not really telling a story, are you? You're just filling out a nostalgia questionnaire. Forgive me if I can't be invested in your random stanzas of youth.

 

And honestly, the problem with the story starts from the most infamous part, the very beginning. You don't start out a long journey into your past with a photo of your bloodshot friends and something on Joey's head. That's stupid. And this song is stupid. No amount of Chad belching out his words like a constipated mule will change that, unfortunately. I guess we can all just take from this that if Chad asks you to LOOGADIS PHOTOGRAPH, avert your eyes immediately.

 

Spoiler

In terms of pointless, useless songs, "Photograph" could easily rank at the top. It's a shitstorm of uselessness, and it's unforgivable. But at the very least, I think there was an idea to make something that mattered. A hope that somehow this one inkling of inspiration could turn into something great. It didn't, not in the slightest, but at least I can see that burnt-out ember sitting behind whatever the hell was on Joey's head.

 

This song started out offering nothing, and it finished offering nothing. And that is truly #1 bad song material.

 

1. "You and Me" - Lifehouse

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac3HkriqdGQ

 

Lifehouse should have been one of those bands we shelved with one hit under the likes of The Calling and Vertical Horizon. But admittedly, I do like "Hanging By a Moment" quite a bit. It's certainly nothing special, but I think the lead singer puts enough conviction in his voice to make it worthwhile. But at the same time, I don't think you need more than one hit song from the band who made "Hanging By a Moment". And oh my lord, is this song ever proof of that.

 

This is a song that's meant to be played in the background at the dentist's office. It's one of the most worthless, useless pieces of music I've ever heard. It amounts to nothing, and it's a chore to get through. Why would anyone ever listen to this white-bread tripe when you could listen to anything else?

 

Say what you will about Nickelback, at least they're distinct in how terrible they are. This is bad, but in that sort of way that just kind of fades into the background and makes everyone forget about your shitty band. And rightly so... until 2007, when they inexplicably had another hit. But they will never match the level of staggering dullness that was "You and Me". At least, not for radio consumption. I only say this because I've never listened to a Lifehouse album, because who's got that kind of time to waste?

 

This clock never seemed so alive

 

And your voice never seemed so lifeless.

 

Well, there's my Bottom 10! Stay tuned for my Top 10 tomorrow!

[Katniss]

" I don't need to hear about how one of the chipmunks is lonely as well." That made me laugh out loud.

 

My Humps is garbage. Ugh.

 

Thanks for the image of Chad Kroeger as a belching, constipated mule XD

 

 

Good list, Wumbro. Looking forward to the top 10!

[Burgerpants]

I think that Juelz Santana's breakdown in #6 is one of the most weak sauce moments in rap ever.

[Clappy]

Holy god Lifehouse.  I almost forgot these guys existed.  That's how forgettable of not only a song, but a band they are.  Such boring dreck.

[Steel Sponge]

(Looks like I did prove you wrong about 2000s "never having a good year.")

 

And since I did listen to all these songs from year-end 2005, I will give out complete insight on your lists for once.

 

10. Like in 2004, this one was very close to my Bottom 10. I can't agree more about this song being mind-numbing.

9. Dreck. Also, I'm going to shamelessly plug my own thread by simply saying "read my review of this song."

8. I find "Candy Shop" a lot worse IMO.

7. Once again, my review of this song explains my thoughts as so.

6. Also good to know that we both hate this one. Oh, and if you happen to find the "Whisper Song" 'enjoyable' while I don't, I'd like to see what you think.

Spoiler

Putting this in a spoiler tab, because this is me talking my ear off about a few songs I've discussed in my own thread. I should've cleared this out before, but one other thing that really made tick about "Wait (The Whisper Song)," "Your Body," and "Play," is how I can't help but take the artists' sexual desires so seriously. For a few songs about getting laid, they sound so desperate about it, that it's sick to my stomach and very annoying.

5. Garbage.

4. Now this song, I didn't have room for it for my Bottom 10.

3. Honestly, I had this ranked at #70, because I could barely think of reasons to hate it. I do think it's pretty bad, but still, this is a song that I feel I should look into more. You given this some clever insight though.

2. I still stand by my opinion that is no worse than any other songs off of 2005, and that I find this tolerable compared to some Nickelback songs I despise. ("Someday," "If Everyone Cared," "Rockstar.")

1. I honestly think there was some charm from this, not that "primetime television soundtrack" kind of charm, but I don't think this is boring in, say, a godawful kind of way. I feel Lifehouse has tried to express themselves with the amount the emotion they had, and I thought it had a memorable melody. Also because I don't think it's as skippable and forgettable as "One Thing" by Finger Eleven, another acoustic rock song. I'll agree with your statement about Lifehouse not being an interesting band. Little known fact, I'm apparently one of those people that own one of their albums, but to back up my agreement, I never actually bothered to listen to it in full, or even touch it. *Looks back at album sitting around somewhere in my house* Why did I even buy it?

 

 

Anyways, I'll be anticipating your Top 10.

[Wumbo]

Unfortunately I don't know if I can post my Top 10 today, at least not with commentary and all, which is obvi the only way to do it. I've got some company coming over and my mom wants me to assist with everything. God damn, I feel awful, but this might be the first time I don't get these lists done on time. I'm really sorry guys.

[Sweat]

It's okay. We'll be patient

[Katniss]

It's fine! Your lists are always worth the wait.

[Wumbo]

BOOM BAM BABY

 

As I said before, 2005 was a great year. It's hard to convey that with a Bottom 10, unless your year is so good that all 100 songs are masterpieces. That doesn't happen. What does happen, though, is a Top 10 list that I can be proud of, and be more than willing to share with you all. So here are...

Wumbo's Top 10 Songs of 2005

 

Spoiler

Now 2005 was the first year I really started paying attention to music, so a lot of these songs will admittedly be stuff I grew up with and listened to endlessly. So, with that in mind... keep the snickering to a minimum, okay?

 

10. "Let Me Go" - 3 Doors Down

 

 

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to really gain any brownie points for liking 3 Doors Down, but man... I listened to this endlessly in 2005. I watched the video, too. And now that I'm watching it again, here's a Top 5 list within a Top 10 list:

 

The Top 5 Brad Arnold Moments in the Video for "Let Me Go":

 

5. this

4. this

3. this

2. this

1. this

 

Forget singing, this guy should do interpretive dance. But all joking aside, I still do love this song, if for no other reason than it really brings back memories of 2005 and tuning in to see what the countdown would be. A lot of songs on this list are like that, but to be fair, this one probably benefits the most from it. But hey, Brad Arnold's a much better singer than Chad Kroeger, the band conveys much more emotion than Lifehouse, and so I gotta give credit where credit's due. I also do own a 3 Doors Down album, so there. Now let me go.

 

Spoiler

 

Ah, Kelly Clarkson. Her and Carrie Underwood are pretty much the only justification for American Idol, music-wise. I mean, what else did American Idol give us?

 

 

Gee Ruben, you don't have to apologize for a whole year. I think you were only popular for, like, 3 weeks. Anyway, Kelly Clarkson was another big artist I listened to endlessly in 2005. Hell, I actually bought her Breakaway album and still listen to it today, for a few reasons. Here's one:

 

9. "Behind These Hazel Eyes" - Kelly Clarkson

 

 

God damn, I love this song. It really goes to show that Kelly Clarkson is a legitimately talented artist. Listen to those pipes! You certainly don't hear that kind of power from American Idol anymore.

 

Back in 2005, this was admittedly my favourite kind of song: pop stars with a rock edge. It worked for me for Avril, and it worked for Kelly Clarkson. But unlike Avril, Kelly hasn't worn off for me. She's still as fresh and listenable as ever, and it all comes down to the sheer, raw talent she possessed. She also puts so much emotion into her voice, like the anti-Lifehouse. (Okay, last Lifehouse-disparaging comment in the Top 10.) Bottom line, I've listened to Kelly Clarkson a thousand times, and I'll do it a thousand times more.

 

Spoiler

Say, doesn't this year have Mariah Carey in it?!

 

8. "We Belong Together" - Mariah Carey

 

 

Yes it does! And that means she deserves a place on my list!

 

Well, honestly, the 2000s were a rocky decade for Mariah, starting out with the release of her critically panned bombtastic Glitter. Nobody should have to start out a year with something like that. But her release of The Emancipation of Mimi (mimi <3) completely overhauled her lack of success in the early 2000s, and with it came this song, one of the biggest of her entire career.

 

I find it so funny that I placed this right after Kelly Clarkson, while praising her vocals, because listening to this it's like "Kelly who?" Mariah has been queen of the songbirds for quite some time, and with songs like this it's easy to see why. She says in the song that this doesn't represent half the emotion she feels for her loved one, so I only gotta assume that the emotion she feels can only be detected by certain animals with heightened senses, because I can't possibly see how it could get any better than this.

 

Mariah Carey: exactly as good as you remember in 2005.

 

Spoiler

You know, even the artists I loathe the most can crank out a great song now and again. And that's why if you're reading this entry, you don't have to worry that you've travelled back to my Worst list by mistake. Hate him or love him, I... oh damn, I gave it away.

 

7. "Hate It or Love It' - The Game ft. 50 Cent

 

 

This one surprises me, actually. I saw song after song with 50 Cent and I was almost ready to dismiss them all. But this one is like the shining diamond you find in the turd pile. 50 Cent is actually on point with his rapping and his lyrics, plus it's a true banger.

 

Though technically this isn't 50 Cent's song, it's The Game's song, and he definitely helps to boost the ranking even more. Both rappers work together to inflate their egos, as well as talk about the hardships they struggled through to get where they are today. (8 years later, one of the most prolific rappers at the time struggles to do that, but I digress.)

 

I'm glad for these little surprises in the pop charts. Even someone as dull and mumbly as 50 Cent can really dust off his cap and make an awesome song happen. And that's what happened here. The underdog of my 2005 list is now on top, hate it or love it.

 

Spoiler

I'm about to put Fall Out Boy on my top list for the third time.

 

Lord have mercy on me.

 

6. "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" - Fall Out Boy

 

 

And I promise, I'll stop putting Fall Out Boy on my list once they stop making kickass songs in the years I cover. This is exactly the kind of thing I love about Fall Out Boy. Just one look at the video pretty much tells you what you need to know about them. They don't take themselves too seriously, and neither should you.

 

I was there when the Fall Out Boy/Panic! at the Disco wars erupted, so let me assure you I'm on Team Fall Out boy al lthe way. I don't know if anyone knows this, but I have always loathed Panic! at the Disco. They're like Fall Out boy for people who think they're too good for Fall Out Boy, and I just can't get behind their music. They take themselves way the fuck too seriously, especially with some of the bullshit they write.

 

But Fall Out Boy taking themselves lightly? Yeah, I'll eat that up any day. And I do, as you can see by my pick here. When Fall Out Boy sound like they're having fun with their music, they're golden for me. Cock it and pull it.

 

Spoiler

Don't act like you didn't see this one coming.

 

5. "Mr. Brightside" - The Killers

 

 

The Killers are one of my favourite bands, truth be told, and Hot Fuss is... wait a shit. That guy in the video... he's the same guy from the "We Belong Together" video. What the hell?

 

...pray tell, what other videos does he pay a visit?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJKCq_bjP4c

 

...there's more?

 

Okay, this is something I obviously need to look much further into, but meanwhile back to the song.

 

"Mr. Brightside" is one of those instant classics, a song that will be forever carved into rock history. I honestly don't even think it's the best song on the album, but it's so prolific. If you know a Killers song, it's this one. And for good reason. It does so much with the verse and chorus repeated, and usually I find that boring. But The Killers make it interesting. They transcend my normal opinions. quick, someone stop them!

 

God, I just love The Killers so much, and it's killing me... and taaking controoolll...

 

Spoiler

One does not simply leave Gorillaz off of a best list, you hear?

 

4. "Feel Good Inc." - Gorillaz

 

 

This song is almost too good for the pop charts. No, scratch that. It is too good for the pop charts. I know my place, and I know when I'm listening to the real deal.

 

Gorillaz are just such a masterful, creative group, and every song they make they just pump so much energy and effort into it to make it the greatest thing you've ever heard. I love this song a lot. But for me, it really starts to kick in when De La Soul spits his verse. I swear, I had to fireproof my house before listening to that part for the longest time.

 

Rarely does a group come along that is this innovative and creative, and even rarer does it actually have success on the pop charts. Such is the enigma of Gorillaz. Rock on forever.

 

It's my chocolate attack

 

Although... don't know if I want to hear that again.

 

Spoiler

 

American Idiot was the first album I ever bought, and by default the first album I ever lvoed. I would play the shit out of that album like the rebellious 10-year-old I was, and no one could stop me! that is, except for my parents.

 

But now, looking back at my American Idiot love, I have to say that while I think it's still a great album, a lot of that love for it comes from nostalgia. The tracks, while still awesome, don't quite hold up the same as their classic pop punk sound of the 90's.

 

However, there is this one song that does. And here it is.

 

3. "Holiday" - Green Day

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1OqtIqzScI

 

I'm thinking the bombs in the opening symbolize the nostalgiabomb this video is giving me. But anyway...

 

"Holiday" is just a fucking fun song. I mean, forget about "American Idiot" - this is the "fuck you, George Bush" song you should be partying to!

 

While some of the songs from Green Day's American Idiot have somewhat faded for me, this one is a song I will never, ever get tired of. It's the burst of energy that I look for in a song, all the way through. Listen to the callback for "amen". The breakdown in the third verse. The fiery chorus, just everything about it! I listened to it endlessly in 2005, and I'll listen to it a million times more.

 

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

 

Is "Gold Digger" on my list? The answer to that is... no.

 

Look, I love Kanye. I do. And "Gold Digger" was very close to making the list. it really was. But ultimately, this year i just found one rap song that took everything to the limit and just burst through. Good taste, common decency, sanity. Everything. It is an off-the-wall batshit insane song by a reliably off-the-wall batshit insane performer. Who could ask for more?

 

2. "Lose Control" - Missy Elliott ft. Ciara and Fatman Scoop

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khgIVMUvihg

 

Yes, music does make me lose control. I lose control of my hands, as they are in the air and I don't care.

 

I've really grown to appreciate Missy Elliott's delightful but also blistering weirdness in the rap world. We definitely needed a Missy to pave way for someone like Nicki Minaj, and this song in its bizarre glory definitely does the trick. And honestly, i am not a big Ciara fan, but I love her on this. She complements the beat perfectly with her rapping, and that a capella breakdown... god, it's amazing. I wish she was just this impressive in all her music, rather than constantly operating at a 4/10. Lookin' at you, "1, 2, Step".

 

There was also this interesting trend in 2005 where rap videos would have like, a short song or a preview of another song at the end. This one has "On and On", and it's honestly a great addition to the whole thing. Adding an extra flavour of weirdness with its offbeat melody and haphazard flow. But god damn, I love everything about "Lose Control". It's the kind of song every rap fan should have knowledge of and appreciate. And I do, very much.

 

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra-Om7UMSJc

 

On my blog, I said that "Because of You" was my favourite Kelly clarkson song. Now, honestly I regret making that statement. I know that when I make blanket statements like that without really thinking about them, I always end up eating my words in the end. But this one... this one is just factually wrong. "Because of You" can't be my favourite Kelly Clarkson song, because there is only one correct answer to that question. And here it is.

 

1. "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7UrFYvl5TE

 

I love al lthe songs on my Top 10 list. Like, love them to pieces. But even then, I still consider this one heads and tails above the competition simply because of how damn iconic it is. This is the Kelly Clarkson song, and she hasn't nor will she ever top it. It's also just a kickass pop rock song with a great "gotten-over-you" message.

 

Look, everyone knows this song and I'm sure everyone loves it. It's honestly one of the greatest accomplishments pop music has ever made in the 2000s. This song was everywhere, and for good reason.

 

I will never, ever tire of this song. I will listen to it well into my old age, and tell my grandkids about the great oldies songs by Kelly Clarkson, singling out this one specifically. it is the pinnacle of 2005's pop scene, and rightly so, it is my #1 song of 2005.

 

All right! Will post my next year tomorrow.

 

[Joe Biden]

What are your ranks for:

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Beverly Hills

Drop It Like It's Hot

Speed of Sound

Gold Digger

Wake Me Up When September Ends

She Will Be Loved

Best of You

[Katniss]

This best list is so fun. I still love a bunch of these songs today.

 

Anyways, where would you rank:

 

Pon de Replay

Don't Cha

Rich Girl

Beautiful Soul

Play

Don't Phunk With My Heart

[Steel Sponge]

What you got to say for...?:

 

Songs from my Bottom 10 that missed your Bottom 10

Songs from my Top 10 that missed your Top 10

Hollaback Girl

Daughters

Shake It Off

[Sweat]

1, 2 Step

Disco Inferno

Oh

Lonely No More

Switch

Caught Up

Scars

Collide

My Boo

I Don't Want to Be

1 Thing

Inside Your Heaven

Numb/Encore

 

 

Sorry Wumbo that you have to cover like 50 more songs, don't blame yourself for making most of 'em super short

[Wumbo]

Songs from my Bottom 10 that missed your Bottom 10

Songs from my Top 10 that missed your Top 10

I'll do these if you do the same thing. 

 

(tho I'm doing like half of them anyway with all these requests)

 

Okay... here we go:

 

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - 32, of all the American Idiot songs, this one holds up probably the worst for me. I still like it, but don't love it.

 

Beverly Hills - 72, Weezer's Make Believe was when they started to become a really, really irritating band, at least from my perspective. Like, what even is this song? I half expect Andy Samberg to show up halfway through the video or something, because it all just sounds like a joke. An unfunny one, at that.

 

Drop It Like It's Hot - 11, 

 

Speed of Sound - 16, didn't expect to put this one so high, but here we are. While Coldplay can be boring at times, I find that some of their songs have really soothing, calming melodies, and I like to listen to this one in particular when I just want to chill out.

 

Gold Digger - 12, Kanye, so close and yet so far </3

 

Wake Me Up When September Ends - 17, probably the most emotional Green Day has ever gotten in their career. Makes sense since the song is about Billie Joe's father's death.

 

She Will Be Loved - 35, anything is better than 2013 and forward Maroon 5.

 

Best of You - THE 20TH BEST THE 20TH BEST THE 20TH BEST OF 2005

 

Pon de Replay - 69 (lel), honestly I expected to like this one a lot more than I did, but Rihanna's voice is pretty irritating here and the beat doesn't do much for me at all. Nostalgia doesn't always win out, unfortunately.

 

Don't Cha - 89, Busta Busta can't save this nonsense. I don't even think The Pussycat Dolls are particularly bad, but this is just inexcusable.

 

Rich Girl - 23, let the record show that if this were anyone else singing this song I would probably hate it.

 

Beautiful Soul - 56, d'awww

 

Play - 33, okay this and Whisper Song (34, incidentally) are both just hilarious. I'm sorry, but if you really hate these songs with a burning passion, then you're taking pop music a tad too seriously. I'd take this over will.i.am's bullshit pandering any day, because this is at least sincere, fun stupidity.

 

Don't Phunk With My Heart - 17, this probably only made it so high because "wit your pistol shot me shot me POOOWWW" makes me laugh every time I hear it.

 

Hollaback Girl - 64, I'm really sorry to all my fellow Stefani lovers, but when all is said and done I could not justify putting this higher than it is. At its core, it's an irritating, vapid song that is... yes, pandering, and I get that was the intent to get back at Courtney Love or whatever (didn't know white girls had diss tracks??) but it doesn't make for good music.

 

Daughters - 84, up next on whatever happened to

 

Shake It Off - 28, I love Taylor Swift Mariah Carey!

 

1, 2 Step - 77, I don't like anything about this. Ciara is weak, Missy is surprisingly weak, and this beat has been making my skin crawl for ten goddamn years.

 

Disco Inferno - 83, sh-sh-shake that ass girl

 

Oh - 79, Ciara's non-presence on her own song is enough to bring down Ludacris. Shame on you, Ciara. (Also, no good song is just titled "Oh". It's like calling a song "ouch" or "well well well").

 

Lonely No More - 25, GO WHITE BOY GO WHITE BOY GO

 

Switch - 30, not that great of a song but it's catchy enough and Will Smith is aight

 

Caught Up - 22, I would have taken 70 more Usher songs over just about any other male R&B singer of the 2000s (except JT <3)

 

Scars - 85, dangerously close to the bottom but then I remembered it's Papa Roach so who really cares

 

Collide - 87, Howie Day's last name symbolizes how long his fame should have lasted.

 

My Boo - 14, Usher and Alicia Keys <3333

 

I Don't Want to Be - 62, this is just... okay, like probably your standard white radio station song. Much prefer "Chariot".

 

1 Thing - 80, I didn't know this chick before looking at this year and oh god I never want to again. This song is a mess.

 

Inside Your Heaven - 71, kind of baffled why you wanted to know about this one, as it's easily the blandest song here. I watched the Season 4 finale of American Idol and I completely forgot about this, probably right after it was performed. For God's sake, I remember Taylor Hicks' debut more than this.

 

Numb/Encore - 50, I went into this song expecting it to blow me away, but honestly this was just... silly. Not terrible, and I guess I like it well enough, but man, what a letdown all the same.

[Sweat]

Seriously tho, why does just about every single American Idol single do nothing but bore people to tears? It's really sad. It's even sadder considering a lot of the stars from the show had a lot of American Idol residue even after the fact, especially people like Chris Daughtry. I remember when I used to really like It's Not Over, augh

[Wumbo]

To be honest, even "A Moment Like This" is a boring song. Good to see Kelly found her personality again after AI tho.

 

Okay guys! So the next year that my random number generator has decided for me is...

 

1960

 

Takin' it waaay back this month, folks. Top and Bottom 10 yada yada yada.

[Katniss]

 

Don Draper approves.

[Popeye Q. Krabs]

I'm on board with this one.

[Wumbo]

Also bc Steel obliged, here are any remaining songs on his bottom and top lists and where they stood on mine:

 

Some Cut - 55, easily ignorable song, not really worth hating

 

Incomplete - 81, oh dear guys, this is... this is almost adorable. Might have put it too low because this almost makes me laugh. Still trash tho.

 

Let Me Love You - 88, Mario is wack trash

 

Your Body - 61, again, easily ignorable

 

Ordinary People - 45, ordinary song from an ordinary performer

 

Because of You - 31, hyped this up way the hell too much in my blog. Still like it, but it's the least enjoyable of the four Kelly Clarkson songs here by far.