Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100

[Clappy]

Last time on Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100, I decided to be positive and talk about songs I like.  And I genuinely do like all five of those songs I listed.  But today, I want to talk about a genre that I use to love but am now incredibly disappointed in.  Yes, folks time to get your cowboy hats, get a few beers, pimp your trucks...and god country music has become such a fucking mess in 2015.

No seriously.  WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.  A SONG ABOUT PICKING UP GIRLS AT A BAR AND MAKING IT INTO A VIDEO ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE!?!!  WHO'S BRAIN DEAD IDEA WAS THAT!?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS ANYTHING THAT HAS BECOME REMOTELY POPULAR IN COUNTRY MUSIC IN 2015.

WE TURN THIS CORN FIELD INTO A PARTY!?!?!   Luke Bryan, that might be one of the stupidest lines I've ever heard come out of your mouth.

I swear modern country music is just trying to throw ANYTHING onto the wall and pray that it sticks.  It's recycling songs on the charts at a rapid rate that it will surprise me what stuff actually sticks on the Year End 2015 Hot 100 list besides Take Your Time and Girl Crush, the only two songs that had any crossover appeal whatsoever.  Add to the fact that bro country seems to finally be wearing thin to the listening public who wants and deserves better than what country music has been giving it's fan base.  Do you guys want to know what my favorite country music song of the past year is?  Because it's not Drunk on a Plane like my 2014 Best List suggests.

 

 

Girl in a Country Song is a modern day work of art in the desolate radio waves that has become modern day country music.  Rightfully slamming the stupidest fad country music has ever gone through with direct jabs at the likes of Blake Shelton, Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, among others.  But the reason why I bring this song up exactly is because today's country artist that I am doing a song review of was mentioned in Girl in a Country Song.

Tell me one more time, "you gotta get you some of that"

That lyric was a direct jab at today's victim Thomas Rhett's "Get Me Some of That".   I won't be reviewing that song today obviously, but let's learn a little more about Thomas Rhett.

Thomas Rhett is a special kind of artist.  He's one of the artists who has family ties in the music industry.  His father was country songwriter Rhett Akins.  Now Rhett made a minor bump in the country music industry in the mid 1990s with only three Top 20 country hits and honestly none of them ring a bell to me.  At all.  And that's coming from someone who grew up in a predominantly country music listening household.  But when you have a song to your name titled "Kiss My Country Ass", you know he must have had virtually no success.  However, Rhett Akins found a career revival in the form of songwriting as he went to write some of the biggest hits of 2000s country music for Blake Shelton, Brooks and Dunn, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean amongst others.  Which led the way to his son Thomas Rhett getting his own country music career too.

Now Thomas Rhett's music is.....how should I put nicely?  Awful.

Yeah literally every song he has released just screams "please crossover to pop music" to the point that it doesn't even sound like country music anymore.  Well here's the thing Thomas.  If you want to be a pop artist, why not just do pop music?  Because trying to force your obviously country twangy voice into pop production is painful to listen to.  Also bragging about your lovers "crashing and burning" is a hideous subject matter to write a country song about.  And that's not all he has done in 2015.  His new album features guest spots from Jordin Sparks and LunchMoney Lewis.  Dude, no one told you you have to be purely country music, but at least try to dammit.  Taylor Swift was able to do both at the same time, it's not hard to do.

But yeah, as I've mentioned, Thomas Rhett has a new album out.  I watched Spectrum Pulse's review of it.  Sounds like the atrocity I expected it to be.  However, there is one song on the album that really stuck out to me.  And it's unfortunately Thomas Rhett's latest single release.  Right now it's the most successful country song in digital sales for the past week and as we speak, it has cracked iTunes Top 10.  So you know country music is getting really giddy that they possibly have the next big crossover country song.  I fully expect this to crack the Billboard Hot 100 Top 20 at the rate this is going, so I'm going to go ahead and cover it before I eat my own words.

Thomas Rhett - "Die a Happy Man"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2CELiObPeQ 

.......WHEN YOUR LEGS DON'T WORK LIKE THEY USE TO BEFORE

 

No I'm not kidding you.  IT'S THE SAME DAMN SONG.

*cries*

IT'S THE SAME DAMN SONG.  HOW CAN HE BLATANTLY RIP OFF THE SAME GUITAR CHORDS, THE SAME SUBJECT MATTERS, UGH.

Ok to be fair, all White Guy with Acoustic Guitar songs are similar in more ways than one, but I haven't seen country music blatantly try this badly to be like a modern day pop song in quite some time.  Probably since Reba McEntire did country covers of pop songs and that was different.  That was country music covering a pop song.  If Thomas Rhett wanted to cover Thinking Out Loud, why doesn't he?  Does he do anything to justify this song's existence in it's own merits?  Like for example, what justifies his love for this girl to make him die a happy man?  There has to be something.  Because if Ed Sheeran can't keep this thoughts to himself about his love for his girl, Thomas Rhett has to have his thoughts all lined up right?

And I know that I can't ever tell you enough
That all I need in this life is your crazy love

You know maybe this is a minor nitpick here on my part, but I'm getting really tired of the parallels to someone's love and someone's sanity.  Whether it be deemed they are literally crazy or just metaphorically crazy in love.  Because it's rarely ever fully established upon.  You have to go all in when you have the words crazy and love.  You have to make me fully believe it like Beyonce did in "Crazy in Love" for example.

If I never get to see the Northern lights
Or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night

So what's to say you can't go see these sites with your lover?

Baby and that red dress brings me to my knees
Oh but that black dress makes it hard to breathe

It makes you a horny bastard, go on.

You're a saint, you're a God, it's the cutest, the hottest, a masterpiece

....exactly how is she all of these praises?  Because all I'm getting from this is she has sex with you.  Either that or she's the blandest love interest since the chick from that Rude song.

And if I never get to build my mansion in Georgia
Or drive a sports car up the coast of California

Here he goes again listing off things he won't get to do because of this chick.  Christ man, is there anything positive you have to say about this chick besides she makes you aroused?

Oh if all I got is your hand in my hand
Baby I could die a happy man

That's his reasoning?  .....eh I've surprisingly heard worse.  This year.

But here's what annoys me the most about all of this.  I can't hear this without thinking of Thinking Out Loud and how it came out in the same year.  If it's inspired by that, then good for him.  You have your own country love ballad that will crossover onto mainstream radio.  But here's the thing.  I don't like Thinking Out Loud.  I've made that vocally clear in the past and it's the only reasoning I'm reviewing this country song period.  Because I promised Wumbo a review of Thinking Out Loud so since I never did that, I feel obligated to review a country-fied version of Thinking Out Loud.  Granted, my stance has softened on that Ed Sheeran song a lot because despite how corny A TON of the lines are for that song, I at least feel like Ed Sheeran sells it to the point that it's sincere and I can respect that.  The overexposure of that song in my household made me sick of it easily (it's my sister and her boyfriend's "song"), but I can at least get behind it.  

This song though?  I don't believe a single word that comes out of Thomas Rhett's mouth.  Especially with his party hard bro country discography that makes me not buy anything that he is trying to sell in this and definitely not when his last song is about kicking girls to the curb like a rotating door.  But hey, like I said earlier, this is 2015 country music in a nutshell.  Throw things onto a wall and hope they stick and if it means blatantly ripping off much larger pop hits, then go for it.  Wish it was by an artist that I have far more respect for this than this college frat boy douche.

[Katniss]

Ohai there Rhett Sheeran   

[Clappy]

This topic is quite old.  You may reply to this topic, but only if your post is meaningful.

Damn SBC.  Way to be blunt about how neglected this thread is.  It’s been a very long while since I last updated this yes.  Nearly half of a year.  Well fear no more whatever is left of my music review following, I’ll make it up to you guys buy doing a much longer quick take than usual of not just a few songs.  No.  Let’s do the entire top ten.  Yeah if that’s what it takes to get my followers back again, then that’s what I’ll do.

So 2016…um WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!  How can we go from getting such great hits in 2015 to what we are getting now?  If this is a sign of things to come, oh boy am I not looking forward to what the rest of this year has to offer.  Because this is a sharp decline as to what last year gave us and while the stagnancy isn’t as bad as 2015 got at times, the quality has just vanished.  Let me put this into perspective.  Contenders for my best list this year so far contain songs that were held over from 2015 list.  Yikes.  So let’s get the ball rolling and I’ll just let you listen to how disappointing the top ten is right now.

 

“Work” – Rihanna (featuring Drake)

Spoiler

 

Man this song.  Where do I begin?  Well that production….is insanely catchy.  Yeah I’m a sucker for tropical house music and that’s what’s been getting popular lately.  Hell, it’s part of the reason I like Justin Bieber’s newer music.  Also, Drake is definitely back on his A game here and they utilize him here much better than they did on his last collab with Rihanna where he has that laughably distracting line about the square root of 69.

But I can’t deny that this song frustrates me and it has everything to do with the chorus.  There is no way around it, this chorus is just lazily awful.  I get that Rihanna loves her nonsense syllables, but this chorus is absolutely pushing my patience with it.  If I can’t understand 80% of the chorus, even after countless relistens, looking up the lyrics online, relistening to the song again, and still struggling to understand what she’s saying; then that’s a HUGE problem with your song.  Not to mention that Rihanna has done this song time and time and time again.  And while I have been mixed on Rihanna’s music, there is absolutely nothing new or exciting to a song like this that she’s done much better to really make this one stand out for me.

A song this lazy and repetitive has an expiration date and while it hasn’t caught up to me yet, it’s getting VERY close to being flat out annoying.

 

“7 Years” – Lukas Graham

Spoiler

 

I get that this guy is Danish, so he’s going to have a willowy accent of sorts, but I can’t stand this Lukas Graham guy as a singer.  I remember comparing him to Passenger when I first heard him, but after relistening to “Let Her Go” the other day…I’m so sorry Mr. Graham.  That’s an absolute insult, you’re far better than him.

But that doesn’t mean this song isn’t dull.  I should like a song like this right?  It’s a guy telling his story growing up, what he had to do to get where he’s at, and then foreshadowing his future.  However, just like the countless number of songs that have done this before, I have to ask.  Who exactly is this for?  At least when rappers do this, I get that it’s for the purpose of self-gratification.  They paint themselves out to be obnoxious assholes that don’t tell the story of where they came from, sure.  But it’s at least identifiable since they talk about fun things like about the amount of women they get, fancy sports cars, etc..  What does Lukas Graham tell here?  He reflects on his childhood on wanting to be famous, he’s famous, poof he’s dead.  It’s such an ego stroke of a song, which is just like every other rap song, but it’s structure is just so freaking weird.  There’s no emotional turmoil, there’s no hardship, and there is absolutely nothing that builds up to his fame and eventually his demise.  It’s just, good job buddy, you are hugely famous now.  And if you aren’t convinced by that, let me remind you all.  The lead singer is named Lukas Graham.  The band name is Lukas Graham.  The debut album will be named Lukas Graham.  They have an actual audio clip in the song that is some guy screaming the name Lukas Graham.

And before you all point it out, I read online that this song is about his dead father, but you sure can’t tell by the way the writing is presented.  I’m not saying this song is the worst thing on the radio by any means, but it’s just one hell of a mediocre song that I don’t understand how it’s getting so insanely popular.

 

“Love Yourself” – Justin Bieber

Spoiler

 

I was considering writing a full review of this song as well as every other Justin Bieber hit lately because they are so inescapable, but…work happens.  I already mentioned how much What Do You Mean came around to me on my year end best list and I wrote a review for Sorry on my blog spot that I still stand by being fantastically produced but terribly written.  So it’s time to talk about Bieber’s third number one.  It’s….ok?  I honestly think this song would work so much better with anyone else besides Justin Bieber.  He just doesn’t have the complexity as an artist to be able to pull off a song like this.  He definitely has the personality because he’s such a freaking douche.  But this song needs to have the sincere sentiment towards it where the artist is able to display actually sincerity while reflecting on his failed relationship to make it feel that more important where he gets to the chorus to display the amounts of bitter he still feels towards her.  You know…an artist like the guy who actually wrote this song: Ed Sheeran.  Yeah, why couldn’t we have Ed Sheeran keep this song that he wrote and perform it himself?  He’s the kind of guy who writes about feeling incredibly bitter towards exes and is actually believable about it.  Case in point: Don’t.  Which even if it’s not Top 10 of 2015 good, is still a damn good song regardless.  I would totally buy this from Ed Sheeran, but not from a performer who is blandly bitter in Justin Bieber.  I point all of the songs shortcomings on Justin Bieber as an artist.  Everything else works though.

 

“My House” – Flo Rida

Spoiler

 

Why are we letting this guy still make huge hits?  At least Pitbull is evolving...somewhat.  Flo Rida is still stuck in 2010 and so is his music.  This song is just nothing.  His house is nearly as boring as he is.  If he's going to put this much effort into his music, then I should put the same amount of effort in my reviews of his music.  Next.

 

“Stressed Out” – twenty one pilots

Spoiler

 

Oh boy…you guys are going to eat me alive for this, but….I’ve grown to liking this.  Possibly a lot more than I initially expected.  I mean remember two months ago when I made that twenty one pilots thread and said I don’t get them and what I’m supposed to like about these guys?  Yeah, well I still stand by that…but only somewhat.  The songs like Tear in my Heart, Car Radio, Fairly Local are all absolute shit.  But this grew on me?  How?  Maybe it’s due to the fact that the song itself sounds like it is stressed out.  Which helps emphasize the point of if you would trade the ups and down of adult life for a soothing lullaby from your childhood?  So many of these lyrics nails our common fears in a nutshell.  I mean I for one am insecure and care what people think.  Then when it comes to student loans and treehouse homes, I definitely would take the latter.  Then of course the chorus is just insanely catchy and interesting.  I think Stressed Out is an anthem when it comes to millennial anxiety…but that goes without saying that this song isn’t perfect.

-I hate them missing the point of “I Wish” because they can absolutely control what Skee-Lo can’t in his song.

-That Blurryface character or whatever that moment is is way too obscure for a song about being stressed out.

-The ending could still be stronger.

Everything else though, it’s grown on me.  This song has managed to grow on me a lot.  Also check out Lane Boy and Ride.  Two songs on Blurryface that actually managed to make me buy the album.

 

“No” – Meghan Trainor

Spoiler

 

Out of all the things in the Top 10, this is a song I might revisit someday for the full review treatment.  Because I can definitely think of a lot more to say about it since Meghan Trainor is seriously one of the most infuriating pop stars out there right now. 

But let me start out with that in just two years, Meghan Trainor has managed to make her music jump forward fifty years as well.  Who knows, maybe when her next next album comes out, we’ll be hearing some futuristic sounding pop music?  But it’s quite clear who Meghan Trainor is trying to emulate here with this late 90s/early 2000s knock off.  Jennifer Lopez.  Now I’m indifferent as a whole on J-Lo as an artist, but if there is one thing she knew how to do, it was come off as someone who knew what she was talking about.  It might not mean her music was always good, but she at the very least, demanded my attention.

What Meghan Trainor is going for here is another female self-empowerment anthem.  Instead of body acceptance this time, she’s dealing with empowering yourself when it comes to being hit on by guys in the club and how she doesn’t need a man.  Which all the power to ya, guys can be douches.  But what exactly is this guy doing that’s so douchey?  Handing out compliments and asking her to dance?  How dare she….HEY WAIT A MINUTE.  ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU WANT YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND TO DO?  GOOD GOD YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE.  But yeah, this song is absolutely nothing but mixed messages with all the times she says she doesn’t want a man, but then needs a man.  I don’t buy anything Meghan Trainor is saying at all here.  This song is just an absolute contradiction of itself.

Maybe it’s just impartial bias on my part because I absolutely got sick of Meghan Trainor and her absolutely vapidly stupid music, but if I can say one thing positive about this…it doesn’t sound that bad.  It actually sounds quite good and if this becoming a huge hit leads to a resurgence of late 90s/early 2000s pop production, I’ll be fine.  The problem was never the production when it came to Meghan Trainor.  It’s her personality and her performance.  I never want to hear that singsong rapping that she does ever again.

 

“Me, Myself, and I” – G-Eazy and Bebe Rexha

Spoiler

 

Ok everything I said about G-Eazy in that self titled thread made months ago, it still rings absolutely true.  This guy is a vapid nobody who is a boring rapper that does absolutely nothing to diversify himself as a performer.  And when your biggest hit to date is him sounding EXACTLY like Drake and being mistaken as him by not just me, but the millions of commenters on YouTube, you know you are a nobody.  That being said, for as absolutely little respect I have for him, I can’t hate this entirely.  Yeah his part is absolute radio white noise for me as he raps about how hard it is to be famous and how he could be gone by tomorrow and nobody would notice….ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN’T DRAKE!?  I love the chorus.  Bebe Rexha’s part is straight fire.  Someone please stop making her a hook artist and give her an individual hit.  This girl deserves to be a star.

 

“PILLOWTALK” – Zayn

Spoiler

 

I can listen to this in one sit through and absolutely forget about it afterwards.  That’s how little this song means to me.  You know what this song pretty much is to me in a nutshell?

Yeah this is pretty shallow and terrible.  Zayn has stated in regards to this that this song is more than about sex. 

“The actual intent of the song is even though you have great times in a relationship, you have really bad times as well but that's what makes it worthwhile because you learn things and you go through experiences that bring you closer together.”

That’s a load of horseshit if I’ve ever heard it.  The relationship isn’t even elaborated on.  It’s about the bedroom and physical chemistry.  Not once do I get insight from any of these two when it comes to what their relationship struggles are and what it’s like.  I mean I know that they get physical.  God forbid I learn anything else about either of them.  If this is the kind of mature sound Zayn wants his music to be represented by, then he has a lot to work on.

 

“Cake By The Ocean” – DNCE

Spoiler

 

Ugh.  Where do I begin with this?

For starters…I don’t completely hate this.  It’s pretty bad, don’t get me wrong. But that bassline is pretty freaking sweet.  I’m fairly certain that this song was completely inspired by how much Uptown Funk brought funk-pop back into mainstream relevance.  Which anyone who takes inspiration from one of my favorite pop songs of the 2010s, must be doing something right.

That being said, Joe Jonas and friends are abusing their cake metaphors to infinity and beyond comprehension.  I don’t blame people for mistaking this song to be entirely about baked goods.  Certain metaphors are so badly written that it makes me think that either Joe is into some really kinky sex or has never had sex period.  But a majority of these metaphors come in quite clear to the point that this song goes from trying to be sexy to turning out ridiculously immature.  Also what the hell is up with Joe Jonas’s voice?  Is he TRYING to be Adam Levine?  Because as much as I can’t stand Levine’s voice at times, at least it’s HIS voice.  That high pitched voice Jonas goes for is ear bleeding.  I hope this first impression of DNCE isn’t a sign of things to come because I know they have to have better songs in them somewhere.  If Nick was able to prove me wrong about him, I’m certain Joe is capable of doing the same since I always considered him to be the more talented Jonas brother.

 

“I Took a Pill in Ibiza” – Mike Posner

Spoiler

 

Eww, what the hell is Mike Posner doing here in 2016?  I thought for certain he was left behind to fade into irrelevancy.  I don’t know if this was included in my Worst of 2010 list, but if I didn’t have Cooler than Me on there, it certainly is now.  Another example of how abhorrent 2010 was for hit music for me.  But as soon as Mike Posner released Bow Chicka Wow Wow, I thought for certain his career was dead.  There is no way anyone would be able to redeem themselves from a song THAT bad.

…well somehow he managed to do.  He overcame irrelevancy.  I mean he was still behind the scenes for years writing music because that’s what happens to artists who flame out.  He wrote “Sugar” for Maroon 5 last year for example.  But he’s back as a lead artist again with a song that is…ridiculously insightful.  I’ve heard so many songs in my lifetime about artists rise to the top.  Hell I just gave a brief review of one in this post.  But how many times do we hear about an artist falling from the top and fading into irrelevancy?  Not many.  See Lukas Graham?  This is what your song is missing.  Mike Posner’s insight as what it’s like to already blowing his shot is so much better than it has any right to be…of course I’m talking about the SeeB remix.  Yeah that’s the way this song became a hit and rightfully so.  Because holy crap is the original version even more boring. 

This song doesn’t work at all as a white guy with an acoustic guitar song.  The remix is far more superior and I hope that this song rises higher than number ten.  It deserves to be a bigger hit.

 

So yeah that’s the Top 10 right now and while the Top 10 has been far worse, I think this is rather accurate representation as to how lackluster pop radio is right now.  I hope that things change soon and judging by the stuff that is right below the Top 10:

 

Yeah we’re doomed.

[Katniss]

Oh hey I missed these reviews, welcome back  

I'll offer my thoughts as well because why not:

Work: The chorus is actually in Bajan Creole (a Caribbean dialect) which is probably why it sounds unintelligible, but it's still not a remarkable chorus by any means and the song is boring to me. 

7 Years: Another dull-sounding song to me. Haven't paid that much attention to the lyrics so that's all I can say.

Love Yourself: it's fine but now you've got me wishing Ed Sheeran would sing this lol.

My House: I don't mind this, it's a fun party song and that's what Flo Rida is best at.

Stressed Out: I dig this song. It's pretty relatable! Still haven't checked out more of their stuff though.

No: No, Meghan Trainor. Just no. No more.

Me, Myself, & I: This song has grown on me, mainly thanks to the production and Bebe Rexha's vocals.

PILLOWTALK: I had to look up the lyrics online to figure out what Zayn was saying. Enunciate, dude. This did seem like him trying to be edgier now that he's out of One Direction and it's not great but not terrible either.

Cake by the Ocean: It's a dumb song but I consider it a guilty pleasure.

I Took a Pill in Ibiza: The acoustic version is nothing special. I'll have to give the remix a listen. But at least it doesn't sound as obnoxious as some of his older songs.

[Steel Sponge]

My two cents for each song:

Work: The chorus is really obnoxious, but I tolerate the rest of the song, mostly due to the production work. For me, it's just okay but it almost falls into the mediocrity bracket.

7 Years: My way of summing up this song, is that "7 Years" is like a mix of "See You Again" and "The Nights." (Avicii) And of course, "Let Her Go." I can take this song for being a little tribute to Lukas' late father and giving insight of his perspective of the future, but in a couple of ways, the song also makes my skin crawl. Some times, I find Lukas' voice grating, and I was trying to find another reason until you pointed out the egotistical vibes for the rest of the song, so there's that too.

Love Yourself: Sounds too much like Ed Sheeran (and "You're Not the Only One," just a little nitpick) to really take it as a Justin Bieber song. It's fine, but I have no strong feelings on this.

No House: No strong feelings on this either, but I don't think it's totally bland enough for me to not find some enjoyment in this.

Stressed Out: I really like this song too, and it kinda took me a while for it to click as something that's a little impressive.

No: When I first listened to this, it really baffled me and I already knew something wasn't right when Meghan still can't straighten up when trying to convey a message and make it work. I've lightened up to it a bit, because she can still make some fun sounding production work in spite of that. My first impressions saw this as just plain bad, but right now I think it's just mediocre.

Me, Myself, and I: I really like this song, and I'm not saying this just because Bebe Rexha delivers with a really good chorus and catchy vocals. I mean, I'll agree with G-Eazy being similar to Drake and not being diverse, but IMO, he's not bland to the point of being insufferable here, and it's probably just me who thinks this way. You know a lot more about Drake than I do, though. It has its flaws, but it's still a fun, tolerable song overall.

PILLOWTALK: I just want to point out first that ZAYN's (if that's what I should really call him now) random capitalizations for his tracks have no clear context, whereas it's just an eyesore. As for the song itself, I'll be honest, this has been growing on me. For the most part, Zayn comes across as a pretty unique R&B artist, (and also because I have a liking for "iT's YoU" and "BeFoUr." I'm not a fan of this guy, but he's surely something.) Furthermore, this song has quite an ounce of passion and Zayn can sing really well. Some of the lyrics are iffy and the message is a bit jarring, but strangely, I can still buy this. If anything else, Zayn is at least believable at sounding sensual and/or romantic compared to Shawn Mendes and Charlie Puth.

Cake by the Ocean: It's stupid, but it's stupid fun IMO.

I Took A Pill In Ibiza: Posner's recovery from fading away from the pop scene has surprised me as well. It's alright and it's not as bad as "Bow Chicka Bow Wow" and "Cooler Than Me," at least.

Overall, 2016 isn't looking so good for pop music. It's not as bland as 2014, but hopefully it won't stoop to that level.

Edited March 30, 2016 by Steel Sponge

[Clappy]

Ok...I can't get this song out of my head, so time for me to tackle it.

 

"Panda" - Desiigner

So yeah...it was nearly a month ago when I was reviewing the Top 10...and for the most part, not much has changed.  Work is somehow still number one despite being ridiculously weak all across the board and honestly nothing was gaining any sort of traction to challenge to dethrone it.  Enter: Quite possibly the weirdest song to gain any sort of traction in 2016 and it skyrocketed literally out of nowhere.  How the hell did this song become so huge?  Since when did Future change his name?  What is this song even about?  And most importantly,

 

Quote

Ok it took awhile, but I like Panda.

 

WHY DO I LIKE THIS!?

Let's answer all these questions and more in this rushed installment of Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100.

1. How the hell did this song become so huge?

Well, it's quite simple.   Do you guys remember Kanye's alleged weakest album to date?  Well it was a TIDAL exclusive for nearly two months.  And since TIDAL is an absolute dogshit streaming service, it was illegally downloaded by up to 500,000 people.  I wasn't one of those 500,000 since I'm a dork law abiding citizen who feels like musicians should be paid for their work.  Anywho, while I wasn't one of those people that actually listened to this when it came out and was re-released so many times since Kanye was obviously ridiculously indecisive as to which tracks should be on his new album.  But one of the stuck like glue tracks that Kanye knew was going to be featured was "Part 2".  Which I assume was a continuation to the track prior "Father Stretch My Hands Part 1"...at least I think it was, TLOP was such a mess that I'm still not sure what direction Kanye was trying to take with it...even though I still kinda like the album overall.  "Part 2" might as well not have been a Kanye song since he was barely on the track for about a total of ten seconds.  It heavily featured new GOOD Music project Desiigner, a now nineteen year old trap artist.  Because so many people figured it out because the internet is such an advanced place, I assumed people started to download this like crazy because it's the closest thing to actually purchasing a single off of Kanye's exclusively streamed album.  But now that Kanye's starting to branch his album out beyond being a TIDAL exclusive and now this song is even bigger than ever.  That's fascinating.  I don't know if this song would be nearly as big if it wasn't for Kanye's idiocy but Kanye clearly can't be too disappointed since his own record label has quite possibly, the most unexpected breakout artist of 2016.  He's still making a ton of money either way you look at it.

2. Since when did Future change his name?

HAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE DESIIGNER SOUNDS LIKE FUTURE.  Ok obvious parallel is obvious.  There is no way around avoiding the comparisons since he's doing the same monotone rapping that Future has found his niche in for the past year or so.  Despite my own absolutely terrible comments I've made about Future in this thread in the past....I think Future is improving.  I wouldn't call myself a fan of Future by any means.  I still have so little respect for the guy that it's not even funny, but I'm not afraid to admit that Future seems to be at his best when he's making his music as skin creepingly repulsive as he is.  One of my lowkey favorite songs on the radio right now is his collaboration with The Weeknd "Low Life", where they talk about how they like representing their lifestyle and are not ashamed of it.  I think this is the sort of dark mysterious R&B that I can enjoy in comparison to the massive amounts I've heard from both of these two.  It's supposed to be depressing and I think it just works so well on that front.  But what does this have to do with Desiigner?  Well I can state that I'm one of the few people on the planet that didn't immediately call Desiigner a Future knockoff.  How is that when Future has made so many luxury rap songs in the past?  Well I think it has a lot to do with their approach.  When Future tackles luxury rap, he always comes off to me as so bored and unhappy.  Listen to Panda again and tell me with a fresh set of ears how that can even be Future because this guy sounds so stupidly happy about everything, even when it comes to how dark and gritty the song actually is.

3. What is this song even about?

No it's not about an actual panda.  It's about the similarities between his car and a panda.  Yeah the moment he mentions X6 in the intro, it all made sense.  Rappers love their cars and I actually use to rent these model cars working for Hertz.  The BMW X6 is a legitimately boss car to brag about owning.  However, I'll let you guys be the judge?

I'm assuming Desiigner's X6 is black and white because besides color, I don't see any other logical comparisons.  It's not like BMW is a nearly extinct foreign car brand that eats bamboo.  But that's me looking too literally because if you guys think this entire song is dedicated to his car...then you are thinking things too literally.  It's basic luxury rap about Desiigner's lifestyle and honestly this brings nothing new to the table.  Desiigner does drugs, gets drunk, has sex with tons of girls, commits crime...listen guys.  It's not that impressive in terms of song writing.  Actually, if you want to point out the song writing is ridiculously lazy, I wouldn't argue that.  He freaking repeats the chorus four times, repeats panda as the intro, bridge, and outro five times, and only has one actual verse.  That's unbelievable how he's able to get away with such half-assed song formatting.  Which brings me to this question?

4. WHY DO I LIKE THIS?

...it all comes down to the performer to be completely honest.  I've heard the term knockoff enough when it comes to Desiigner to say that I...completely disagree with that assumption.  Desiigner actually has more personality as a performer than I've seen anyone give him credit for.  You don't know how many times I saw people last year saying that Young Thug, Post Malone, and all these other hook artists are the new faces of rap music.  I guess you can make a case for the likes of Fetty Wap who have some signs of personality to hopefully last longer than you would initially expect, but I can not see the hype when it comes to so many of these new names showing up and getting hits out of nowhere with basic rap cliches.  But Desiigner?  I totally buy him.  Even if he's doing the same cliches as everyone else, I see something in him that I haven't seen out of so many of these new rappers.  His flow is fantastic.  He brings more energy to his music than I've seen most rap music not have in years:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD9jw2J5Sbg

He just sounds so happy to be having all this success come his way and it shows in his music.  This guy has legitimate talent.  You all have no idea how sick I am of hit music being so heavily associated with slow to midtempo songs.  While not all of it is bad mind you, but when I get stuck in traffic up in northern Virginia or in the inner cities, you won't find me stuck in my car listening to Lukas Graham brag rapping...or belting...I still have no clue what the hell 7 Years is.  Hell no.  I want to be energized.  I want a song that gets the people going and as soon as I hear that base drop, I jam out in the front seat of my car rapping about my broads in Atlanta.

By no means is this song best of the year material, but I'll gladly defend Panda's ride of momentum to possibly the top of the Hot 100 charts.  Fluke hit or not, let's be honest.  The charts are far more interesting with this being a legitimate smash hit than they are with nearly everything else right now.  And hopefully with Kanye backing his career, Desiigner will be a legitimately interesting performer to keep your eyes open for.

 

[Katniss]

I listened to a sample of Panda on iTunes and...it's all right. It doesn't do too much for me personally but maybe I'll try listening to the song in it's entirety. 

[Young Nug]

Panda is fire, The Life of Pablo is available to stream on Apple Music and Spotify as we speak go listen now ok bye 

(liking that 21 Pilots song is a  bannable offense Clappy I hope you know this)

[Clappy]

10 hours ago, Bada Bing Nuggets said:

Panda is fire, The Life of Pablo is available to stream on Apple Music and Spotify as we speak go listen now ok bye 

(liking that 21 Pilots song is a  bannable offense Clappy I hope you know this)

Not only was my review a way to tell people to go listen to Panda, but to promote The Life of Pablo finally being on other streaming services.

If you think that's bannable, 21 Pilots newest single is even better than the one I slightly reviewed above.  Come at me bro.

[Clappy]

This topic is quite old...okay I'm not going to reuse the same joke twice in this thread.  That would be as redundant as saying 2016 hit music still sucks...OH WAIT IT STILL DOES!

Yeah while my love for film this year has been too good to criticize, hit music is still absolute shit.  Wumbo said it best the other day, 2016 is on a trajectory to be one of the worst years of pop music.  Not just in recent memory.  Possibly ever.  I'm still withholding some hope that things change for the better because who knows who could be releasing new music soon with names like Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, and Lady Gaga to name a few are all in the studio working on albums.  Because what we are getting right now is a whole bunch of nothing.  Which is why I'm not going to bother giving any of these songs the full review treatment.  I'm rehashing what I did nearly three months ago.  Except this time, I'm expanding to much more than just ten songs because I've already covered a vast majority of these and while my opinion hasn't changed too much, I want to reassure you all as to how much I am disappointed with hit radio right now.  So let's start right at the tip top.

NOTE: I may or may not add the music videos in later, but I've written enough that if you want to check these songs out for yourself, go to YouTube and find it.

1. One Dance - Drake (featuring WizKid & Kyla)

You all already know how I feel about this because of my status from the other day, but I don't think that's fully clear as to how much this song pisses me off.  It's not because of how underwhelmed I was with Views as a whole.  It's not because Drake has done this sort of song so much better, which for the record he absolutely has.  It's not because this is the song that finally gave Drake that long overdue number one hit as a lead artist.  It's because this song is literally nothing.  It's the epitome of how unfinished most of our hit songs we have right now are.  That comparison to a 1:30 iTunes audio clip is no joke.  It's an incomplete bore.  You don't need to seek out the rest of the song to listen to it.  You can just go straight to iTunes and preview it and you wouldn't be missing anything from the actual song.  It could have helped more if the lyrics were actually inspired, but don't even bother because if Hotline Bling is Drake at his B-game, One Dance is Drake at a much lower level.  If you need to have one dance to get a spiritual connection with this girl Drake, then why do you need Hennessy?  Also don't make me laugh with nobody makes it from my end.  If anything, hit Canadian artists are overpowering the music industry right now, it's not even funny.  One more noticeable lyric that I would like to point out is Drake is nearly Hotline Bling levels obsessed with this girl.  Which is even more alarming because he just met her instead of it being about an ex from years ago.  Soon as you see the text, do us all a favor and hit ignore nameless love interest.  Please?

Sad thing is I know this song isn't going anyway anytime soon.  With it being the summer, this dancehall smash is only going to get bigger and with a music video and a remix with Justin Bieber also on the way, it's going to sustain it's chart life even longer.  Joy.

 

2. "Panda" - Desiigner

I am still willing to defend this song.  I kinda like it, but I'm not afraid to admit that overplay has made it's flaws all the more noticeable.  Only two lyrical verses make this even more unfinished than the song I briefly reviewed above.  And the luxury rapping he's doing here is still not as new or exhilarating as any of the countless others out there.  But hey, Desiigner still has at least an interesting personality to make up for how lacking the actual content matter is.  Not a 4 out of 5 like I was feeling two months ago, but a 3/5 is still acceptable.  I am still interested in seeing where Desiigner goes from here.

 

3. "Can't Stop the Feeling" - Justin Timberlake

How I wish this was still number one rather than anything else we've gotten over the past two months.  You all know by now how I feel about Justin Timberlake and his music.  So of course you know that I like this.  It hits me in all the right areas the same way Happy did two years ago.  It's a fun song that definitely makes you happy to be alive.  But unlike Happy, this is definitely more noticeable as being soundtrack fodder than the former was.  I don't want to come off as negative because this song is far more enjoyable than most of the stuff I'll be covering today, but it doesn't have much weight or oomph to really stick with you the way that Happy did two years ago.  Which is a shame because Justin Timberlake has way too much personality and I feel it's being somewhat underutilized here.  This is the sort of song I'd expect to hear from a soundtrack for a kid's movie like Trolls is what I'm saying.  But at least it's an enjoyable enough song to make me glad that it exists.  And with Justin Timberlake allegedly having a new album coming in 2017, this is serviceable enough to hold me over until then.  I really really like it, I just don't love it.

 

4. "Don't Let Me Down" - The Chainsmokers (featuring Daya)

Who would have thought that artists who I wished weren't making hit music in 2016 are actually making some of the better hits of this (so far) terrible year?  Mike Posner has a song I love and the douchebags who made Selfie had a hit earlier this year in Roses that I really enjoyed a lot too.  And now they are back with an artist who also made a terrible first impression in Daya.  Her first hit song Hide Away is the sort of immature mean girl garbage that I can't stand from teenage girl artists who don't know any better.  I originally called it the front runner for worst hit song of 2016 back in the first week of January, but with the amount of trash we have gotten this year, I'm not sure if that statement will still stand come the end of this year.  But as for this?  It's okay.  Not nearly as good production wise as Roses was, but still decent enough.  Daya is far more tolerable here as a singer than her last outing.  I think the one thing that prevents me from liking this is that I am slightly creeped out to hear a 17 year old girl tell two guys who are 26 and 31 respectively to "not let her down".  There is just no other way to listen to a line like that and not think it's creepy since it's the name of the song.  I hate to go for the obvious one liner here but this song just lets me down.

 

5. "Work From Home" - Fifth Harmony (featuring Ty Dolla Sign)

Oh boy...this song.  The one I feared would become a hit ended up becoming pretty big.  While I don't loathe this song as much as I did two months ago, it still really pisses me off as it continues to the de-evolution of Fifth Harmony from being a legitimately interesting first impression girl group from The X Factor to a Pussycat Dolls knock off that is not nearly as charismatic if that was even remotely possible.  Of the few singles they've had that actually showed personality, of course they had to knock off easily their worst with Worth It.  And go figure, five male writers wrote a song about five girls being useless sex objects.  So guys, let me ask.  Even in the progressive society we are living in, if a girl tells you she wants to get you fired so you can have sex with her from home, should you pass on making a paycheck?  What HUGE MORON would actually agree to such a notion...oh hi featured guest rapper Ty Dolla Sign.  Ty has grown on me as a hook artist, but he's absolutely wasted here just like Kid Ink before him.  But you know what really pisses me off here?  In a group called Fifth Harmony, why do they not harmonize?  Because one girl overpowers the others in this song and that girl is easily their worst singer, Camila Cabello.  If you can't pick her a part from the rest of them, I sure can.  She's the one who belts so horribly that she slices my ear drums every time I hear this awful song.  She's also the one who was in that duet with Shawn Mendes earlier this year that was also pretty terrible because neither artist can sing with their life dependent on it.  But yeah, I don't think this mini review emphasizes how much I hate this.

 

6. "7 Years" - Lukas Graham

Already talked further in depth about this a few months ago.  I still don't like this and it's unbelievable it got as huge as it did.  But I don't hate this nearly as much as I know others do around here.  Probably because I can get behind the fact that it actually tells a story.  Granted this story sucks, but at least it's a song.  A finished song.

 

7. "This Is What You Came For" - Calvin Harris (featuring Rihanna)

The only reason this song is charting is based off of pure momentum for Rihanna.  That's the only logical explanation I can think of because this is the most half assed song in Calvin Harris's discography.  I'm willing to defend Summer, a song that I trashed to pieces two years ago, over this because it at least sounds like a finished product.  Hell, I'd rather listen to We Found Love because it was at least a song that displayed Rihanna's personality.  You could replace Rihanna with anybody here and this song would still be a boringly bland unfinished mess.  Calvin Harris is doing absolutely nothing new here and for some reason, he's still one of the biggest names in music.  HOW!?  I can't even listen to this for five seconds without wanting to change the station.  Fuck this.

 

8. "I Took a Pill in Ibiza" - Mike Posner

Already covered this and I don't think my last review put that much emphasis into how much I love this.  Definitely the best song in the Top 20 right now...of course when I say this song, I obviously mean the SeeB remix.  Because that's the only reason that this song got as big as it did.  It captures sadness far better than the folk singer/songwriter version Mike Posner initially released.

 

9. "Needed Me" - Rihanna

Oh boy, another interchangeable Rihanna single.  And here I was hoping that 2012 and 2013 didn't wear those out on me.  I'm not necessarily against darker and grittier Rihanna, but just like a majority of the hit singles on the radio right now, this one feels just as unfinished as the rest.  Rihanna doesn't sound convincing enough as a confident woman who can throw away guys if they aren't satisfying her needs.  Maybe it's because Rihanna's dating history has shown that she is the needy one instead of being the one who every guy needs and I'm not just talking about Chris Brown.  Give this song to someone like Beyonce and it's far more believable.  If anything, DJ Mustard's production is the only thing I can compliment.  It's dark and gritty enough for a song like this.  Too bad the performer isn't.

 

10. "Just Like Fire" - Pink

Christ, here's someone who I've been meaning to give my thoughts on for awhile.  I like Pink.  She has made enough good music for me to understand why her career has been able to sustain as long as it has.  But lately...man, the 2010s haven't been good to her.  Besides Fucking Perfect, I haven't liked a single song of hers.  Everything she has released since then is her selling herself short.  Blow Me (One Last Kiss) can blow me, Raise Your Glass is sellout-lite, Just Give Me a Reason is such a disappointment since I know her and Nate Ruess can do so much better, Try is boring...just to name a few of her songs that have just been a waste of my time.  But I think out of all her songs she has done in the 2010s, this is easily her worst.  God this song just pisses me off every time I hear it because I know Pink can do so much better than this.  And the fact this is performing so well makes me think that a Pink comeback is in the near future.  I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it at this rate since Pink hasn't given me a reason to look forward to one.  I know I've been hard on self empowerment anthems in the past, but the lyrics for this one are so thin and utterly useless that there is zero reason to remember this track.  And for a singer with as much raw power as Pink, that's utterly disappointing because this is vanilla soundtrack album filler.  At least Justin Timberlake's soundtrack single made me feel happy to be alive.  This one is just awful.

 

If you think the Top 10 isn't enough, I've got a few more outside the top ten that I would like to cover since these songs are only going to get bigger at this rate.

 

11. "Don't Mind" - Kent Jones

...oh boy another Vine rapper.  That was the one fad from 2015 that didn't need to stick around.  Oh look he's completely missing the point of "Practice What You Preach" by making it into a song about fucking foreign girls from all around the world.  It's the insufferable smugness about his license to cheat that really irritates me and since all these girls are making Vines of them dancing to a song this chauvinistic, it's only going to get bigger.  Hopefully this guy fades into obscurity as fast as T-Wayne, iHeartMemphis, and Silento before him.

 

13. "Cheap Thrills" - Sia (featuring Sean Paul)

Unpopular opinion, but I'm not as big on Sia as everyone else is.  I don't know, she's talented I'll give her that.  But I think more often than not, her newer songs just aren't as interesting as her older stuff from when she was first starting as an indie darling.  I guess that's snobbish of me, but I do like Chandelier so it's not like all her newer music is terrible or anything.  It's just...uninspired.  And here's a good example of that.  This might as well be a Rihanna song with how interchangeable it is from the rest of Rihanna's output lately.  Granted, I like this a bit more than what Rihanna has put out right now because it actually sounds like a fun summer song.  Heck it even has Sean Paul, who I've mentioned in this thread time and time again as a guilty pleasure.  Granted, any sort of problems I have with this is how uninspired Sia sounds here.  But in comparison to everything else I've covered here today, I prefer this over all the other crap songs.  But in general, I just feel meh.

 

14. "Dangerous Woman" - Ariana Grande

I like this...but I don't love it.  I think that awful piece of shit Focus really tamed my expectations on Ariana Grande's career.  Something tells me Ariana realized how much it hurt her because Focus was left off of her new album.  But as for this?  It sounds great.  Definitely one of Ariana's best vocal performances and just like Love Me Harder before it, it definitely does it for me in terms of Ariana sounding sexy.  But I just can't get the comparisons to Love Me Harder out of my head and it's definitely noticeable how much better Love Me Harder is in comparison to Dangerous Woman.  Don't get me wrong this is still good though, but if you want a true great song from Ariana's new album, I highly recommend Into You.  Check that out fam.

 

15. "Ride" - twenty one pilots

You guys have no idea how glad I am that this is becoming a big hit.  While I like Stressed Out, I love Ride.  It does a much better insight as to what it's like to be that deep in your thoughts and how one can think too much.  This leaves a much better impression as to what kind of artists twenty one pilots are.

 

16. "Never Forget You" - Zara Larsson & MNEK

 I like the story this song tells about how complicated young love truly is.  I just don't love it.  It's probably because they focus too much on how much each other is hurting since the break up and not enough on the good times both of them had.  Who knows maybe I'll grow to appreciate this more when the end of the year comes because this is the sort of song that I initially feel impartial towards, but I grow to appreciate when looking over the year end lists and selecting songs I like.  Hell that's what happened to What Do You Mean by Justin Bieber, which this is very similar to in format minus the second person offering perspective.  I do think both Zara Larsson and MNEK are both incredibly talented performers.  I hope this isn't the last I hear of either of them, even though it wouldn't surprise me if it is.

 

17. "H.O.L.Y." - Florida Georgia Line

Absolutely fucking despise this song.  Just when I thought Florida Georgia Line were actually improving with that second album, they release this dreck.  Disgustingly tasteless lyrics and just absolutely gross.  High On Loving You...what the actual fuck were they thinking releasing this crap?  If you thought 80s hair ballads were bad...oh boy just you wait until you check this shit out.

 

25. "Lost Boy" - Ruth B

Just thought I'd attach this on there by pointing out this is definitely a front runner for worst hit single of 2016.  If you thought "Jar of Hearts" was an absolutely hollow piano ballad, wait until you hear this.  I see people defending the Peter Pan imagery as trying to represent domestic violence and wanting to go to Never Land to forget said problems...HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE?  AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?  BECAUSE THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN ODE TO THE ACTUAL PETER PAN STORY.  Listen to it.  It's not trying to be deep.  Maybe if this was in the hands of a talented girl with a piano ballad artist like Adele who can actually display sadness and depth, but who the hell is Ruth B?  Another Vine artist.  Plus she's 20.  This is sort of shit is over her head and is insulting to think she can display this otherwise.  God this song is an absolute insult to my good taste.  So it's the 2015 Pan movie.  And it's not even hilariously bad like that one.  Just absolutely wretched audio waste.  So pretty much nothing.  Like 2016 in a nutshell.

 

I think that's enough songs to cover in one post.  Some of these I'm trying to hold back for my year end lists where I can give them the proper kick in the ass they so rightfully deserve.  But hell, even then, we have way too many contenders for my possible worst list that who knows what's to come?  We might get even more wretched shit that I am not fully prepared for.  Just fuck this year.  Fuck it so hard.

[Katniss]

This year has been so boring for music. Give us 2015-level quality back please.

[Steel Sponge]

I'm saving almost all my commentary for the charts in 2016 for my mid-year review, but I'll say a few things. First off, I can't agree more with 2016 being a lackluster year for pop. I can't see myself putting 2016 down as the worst year in pop music at this time, but when its gotten as boring as 2014, it's a problem. And second....

I think you're being way too harsh on "Lost Boy." Sure, contemporary piano ballads are definitely not your thing, and Ruth B's a no-name vine artist, but...let's face it. Out of people like Shawn Mendes and Silento who got discovered from Vine, Ruth B at least has better potential as an artist. I'm even surprised the song is becoming a hit, and since it is, I'll be honest with you when I say that I kinda really like "Lost Boy" for what it is. "Lost Boy" at least has a fairly catchy melody and Ruth B backs it up with some smooth vocals. I think the song also leaves off some nostalgic vibes for me from the lyrics, with the whole ode to the story of Peter Pan, from the point of view of a 'Lost Boy.' I feel like there could've been some more soul put into it, though, I'll admit that. It's a smooth and relaxing piano ballad, spite not being so deep and full of passion. In other words, I think this song isn't worth analyzing so much.

Edited June 19, 2016 by Steel Sponge

[Clappy]

47 minutes ago, Steel Sponge said:

I think you're being way too harsh on "Lost Boy." Sure, contemporary piano ballads are definitely not your thing, and she's a no-name vine artist, but...let's face it. Out of people like Shawn Mendes and Silento who got discovered from Vine, Ruth B at least has better potential as an artist. I'm even surprised the song is becoming a hit, and since it is, I'll be honest with you when I say that I kinda really like "Lost Boy" for what it is. "Lost Boy" at least has a fairly catchy melody and Ruth B backs it up with some smooth vocals. I think the song also leaves off some nostalgic vibes for me from the lyrics, with the whole ode to the story of Peter Pan, from the point of view of a 'Lost Boy.' I feel like there could've been some more soul put into it, though, I'll admit that. It's a smooth and relaxing piano ballad, spite not being so deep and full of passion. In other words, I think this song isn't worth analyzing so much.

I'm not saying she doesn't have potential.  I'm just saying she's leaving a massive bore of a first impression.  What Ruth B is doing here to me is dreary, shallow, and trying way too hard to be pretentious.  She lists off all the key points from the Peter Pan story and does absolutely nothing with them in terms of trying to do something meaningful with them.  You find it smooth and relaxing, but I can't even listen to it all in one sitting.  Like what you want to like, but I really don't care for this.

[Steel Sponge]

I can see and understand why people think "Lost Boy" is boring, but aside from me liking the song, I just don't see it as "worst hit song of the year" material.

Edited June 19, 2016 by Steel Sponge

[Wumbo]

I actually have no idea why "Work From Home" exists

I understand the purpose of "Watch Me" more than "Work From Home"

[Clappy]

2 hours ago, Wumbo said:

I actually have no idea why "Work From Home" exists

I understand the purpose of "Watch Me" more than "Work From Home"

Because who doesn't find going against modern gender norms arousing?  Fuck your sense of good taste.  #Fuck2016

[Sweat]

I assume I'm not the only one who feels like Fifth Harmony in general feels like some disturbing piss-take at the Spice Girls that people accidentally started taking seriously.

[Clappy]

48 minutes ago, Halibut said:

I assume I'm not the only one who feels like Fifth Harmony in general feels like some disturbing piss-take at the Spice Girls that people accidentally started taking seriously.

Replace Spice Girls with the Pussycat Dolls and that would be more accurate for me with how hard they are trying to be sexy and failing.

[President Squidward]

even the pussycat dolls has better songs than fifth harmony  

Edited June 22, 2016 by President Squidward

[kev]

On June 21, 2016 at 11:32 PM, President Squidward said:

even the pussycat dolls has better songs than fifth harmony  

jai ho is bae