Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100

[Clappy]

...................................

.........I can't.  I can't review anything else right now from this awful awful year for pop music.  Not even another quick take because I've already covered nearly everything in the Top 10.  I can't take this year, there has to be something else to keep this thread alive.

...you know what I haven't done in a year?  Cover a Billboard retrospective year end chart.  That should help rejuvenate my love for music.  What year did I say I was going to cover next time I decided to do this?  1977?  Alright let's do it...

...oh yeah, that's what Wumbo's already doing this month.  Well that would be stupid of me to already do something Wumbo's committed to doing.  After all, Wumbo follows through with his countdowns unlike my sloth like pace for nearly all my writing projects.  There has to be another year I can do.  I mean I already did my birth year 1989, 1999 for some random reason, 2006 and 2008 because why the fuck not, and every year of the 2010s...

*looks through thread*

...I didn't do 2011?  Why have I not covered what I keep proclaiming is the best year of the 2010s?  Well that's awfully foolish of me.  Then again, this is the same guy who thought he could watch 100 movies a month for the entertainment of people on a SpongeBob site.

Well then that settles it.  For the entertainment of you people on a SpongeBob site, coming soon (and by soon, I mean the next month or so), we will revisit 2011.  The year that brought to us SBC leaving Forumotion, going to a short lived cc site, heading back to Forumotion, leaving Forumotion again, heading to vBulletin, introduced us to the likes of ACS's, Old Man Jenkins, Unlimitedcat (whatever happened to her?), and so much more.  We'll sooner or later see why 2011 was the best year of pop music of the 2010s, but not without drifting through some stinkers first.  I sure can't wait.

[Katniss]

Looking forward to this  

[The Simpsons]

Ayy, another Billboard countdown I can keep up with. Can't wait.

 

Also, DIRTY BIT.

 

so sorry for referencing that song, it's just become a big joke to me now

[Clappy]

 

So it’s been over a month since I promised to do a retrospective year end list.  Are you sure you guys want that?  Maybe the charts have improved since then…

…NOPE.  Still as boring and awful as ever.  I can't believe this is a Top 20 hit.  It's chorus sounds like a fucking YouTube poop.  How...fine let’s rewind time back to 2011 hit music then.

I often say 2011 was the best year of the 2010s in terms of hit music and you know what, I’m having second thoughts about that.  I still do like this year, but oh my god was this worst list hard to sit through.  So much backwash from 2010, but even then the bad songs released in 2011 were still massive amounts of garbage.  Hell, I didn't have enough room for iconic bad songs from this year like "The Time (Dirty Bit)", "Look at Me Now", "The Lazy Song", and some of that 2010 backwash.  I'm thankful that the good stuff this year was great because otherwise I would sound like a hypocritical asshole...unless I already sound like that to begin with.  Because in that case, this worst list won't help those claims.  Let's get the ball rolling.  We are counting down!

CLAPPY'S TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 2011

Spoiler

Let’s flash forward back to the present just for a minute on this year-end retrospective.  What has been the number one complaint with the hit music of this year?  That most of the hits this year are boring, monotonous, and don’t feel like completed songs.  For as true as that statement is, let me remind you guys that the biggest hits of yesteryear weren’t that much better.

10. “Down on Me” – Jeremih (featuring 50 Cent)

 

Take this one for example.  You can copy and paste and rearrange these lyrics god knows how many times and I can’t tell the difference between your other sleazy R&B sex songs.  And of course there this song is sitting in the Top 25 of the year end list.  How?  Jeremih is as lifeless as ever on this track while 50 Cent stopped trying a long time ago.  This was a finished product?  It’s just both of these guys telling their useless sex objects to go down on them.  Hell I have to ask if they are even enjoying being pleasured because they sure as hell don’t sound like it.  Say what you want about other darker grittier R&B, but they at least make us feel confliction.  These two numbnuts sound as monotonous and lifeless as ever.

Oh and the reason I’m not sharing the actual music video is because I fully support the notion that lip singing kid is the reason this got popular.  His novelty act was ridiculously popular in 2011 with this song being the one that benefitted from his short lived fame the most.

 

Spoiler

You know when you can see certain trends coming from a mile away?  While doing these year-end retrospectives of the 2010s, it was this year in particular I noticed the start of the bro country era bubbling under the surface.  You had love songs for dirt roads, calling a chick crazy but loving her like crazy, comparing women to useless sex objects, love for mudding in trucks…oh wait that’s always been in country songs.  Either way, you could tell that the bro frat boy douchiness was starting to surface and while not all of it was bad persay, only one song was what I would consider reprehensible.

9. “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)” – Luke Bryan

 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I’m not a fan of Luke Bryan.  I don’t like how he automatically sky rocketed to the top of the country music industry in such record time.  I don’t like his voice.  I especially don’t like how he comes off as such a loathsome douche in so many of his songs, even in his “softer, low key songs”.  I’m not a fan.  But this song, oh boy.  If “That’s My Kind of Night” is Luke Bryan at his stupidest and “Kick the Dust Up” is Luke Bryan at his most unlistenable, “Country Girl” is Luke Bryan at his most repulsive.

Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees
Shake it for the catfish swimmin’ down deep in the creek
For the crickets and the critters and the squirrels

Don’t forget to ask her to shake it for the snake in your pants you skeevy pervert.

I’m just as surprised as you are that I find this song more repulsive than the song before that has two guys asking girls to go down on them.  But where that song makes me left under the impression that they just don’t care, Luke Bryan sounds like he cares.  He cares a lot that he is treating this girl so shamelessly sexist.  Five years later and I still can't help but feel that the world would be a much better place with a lot less Luke Bryan.  Can we please shake him off our radio stations?

 

Spoiler

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s talk about selling out.

8. “What the Hell” – Avril Lavigne

 

Once upon a time there was an actually interesting artist named Avril Lavigne.  She use to write and perform relatable music for teenagers that teenagers could relate to.  Then she reached her twenties and had no idea how to age artistically because god forbid she actually performs music that other demographics can relate to.  Why would she do that?  But if you guys thought “Girlfriend” was Avril selling out, man oh man you had no idea how much worse things could get for her.  “Girlfriend” at least had that cheerleader chant that made it memorable.  This song is so vapidly uninspiring that anyone could have performed shit like this and make it a hit.  Okay fine maybe not “anybody” only because all that product placement for Avril’s clothing and perfume line in the music video reek of shameless self-promotion.  But what I think drives me the most insane about this is how bratty this song is.  It’s one thing to say “I don’t like your girlfriend” but it’s another thing entirely to claim acting like a massive bitch to a guy who clearly cares about you is because and I quote “I’m thinking ‘what the hell’”.  Well you are right Avril.  What the hell is this guy still doing with you?  He clearly deserves better.  It’s 2011 Avril and you were 27 at the time this came out.  Grow up.

And you were 30 when this came out.  Avril, you’re embarrassing me.

 

Spoiler

Sigh…why does this keep happening?

7. “Don’t Wanna Go Home” – Jason DeRulo

…

…..are you guys tired of hearing me complain about this one artist I’ve already beaten to death in like three to four different countdowns now?  Because here we are again with another fucking Jason DeRulo song making my worst list.  I swear it’s like he’s a parasitic leach that doesn’t know when to just go…away…

This song straight up sucks.  It’s another example of Jason DeRulo having zero identity.  Maybe, I’m being too harsh on my favorite punching bag.  Go ahead Jason DeRulo.  What does partying have to do with the Banana Boat song?

NOTHING!

There have been far worse Jason DeRulo songs, but I can’t think of a more obvious example that Jason DeRulo is fucking terrible at sampling.  Well except this one:

Setting the bar awfully low today.  It's time for me to go home.

 

Spoiler

I try to stray away from rephrasing the same analyses over and over again, but there is seriously nothing redeeming about this song at all...but whatever.  It doesn't matter.  Oh well.

6. “Tonight, Tonight” – Hot Chelle Rae

I could seriously just copy and paste ToddintheShadows review of this and it would almost be the same exact response.  This is one of the whitest songs in existence and the only type of party this would be played at is like a Youth Group lock in, a YMCA party, a middle school dance…pretty much the safest party you know of.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, one of my best songs of 2012 (“Good Time”) but where Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen actually used their squeaky clean images to its advantage, Hot Chelle Rae are as bland as Lunchables.  This don’t sound like the type of party you would want to go to tonight, tonight with bizarre references to Zack Galifianakis, saying whatever to your girlfriend cheating on you.  I can’t believe we let these guys have one of the biggest hits of the year.  I’m just thankful this wasn’t the lasting image of “rock” music from 2011.

 

Spoiler

How to express myself about my feelings towards including such an empowering song?

5. “Born This Way” – Lady Gaga

 

I love Lady Gaga as much as the other music snobs on this site, but this is the most pandering song she has ever written.  It is one thing to write an uplifting song dedicated to her fans and them being accepted for who they are, but it’s another thing entirely to write an actual song about it.

Lyrically I have covered far worse written self-empowerment anthems and trust me when I say I understand why Lady Gaga decided to write an acceptance anthem for the LGBT community since she has a strong connection with that fan base.  But oh man, the pandering just goes way too deep in trying to actually connect with your audience.  It’s one thing to list off sexual preferences, ethnicity, social norms, etc., but how to go about showing that you can relate to what you learned in sociology in high school?

No matter gay, straight, or bi
Lesbian or transgendered life

You’re black, white, beige, chola descent
You’re Lebanese, you’re orient

Yeah that’s great and all that you notice that I am all those things, but how do you relate to it?  Because in the beginning of the song, you list off how great your mom reminds you who you are, but that doesn’t resolve the fact that you wrote this anthem specifically about how we should love ourselves.  You know this song could have been a lot more effective if Gaga spent more time at the writing board resolving this empowerment anthem to herself instead of forcing herself to be so pandering to her fan base.  She did just that two years later with “Applause” and I love it still today.  This on the other hand could have used a hundred more rewrites instead of this sloppy first draft we ended up getting.

Also, this production is just god awful.  Who the hell produced this audio trainwreck?  It’s like Lady Gaga told them sampling Madonna wasn’t enough.  Let’s add every single obnoxious sound in the world because it isn’t annoying enough.  All that’s missing is an air horn, a trap snare, a car horn, a baby crying, a construction site smashing and crashing…I could go on and on and it still would already be a pain to my ear drums.

Pander to your fans or bleed my ear drums.  Do either or.  Just don't waste my time with unfinished crap.

 

Spoiler

Some of the songs I used to love back in 2011 have aged gracefully.  Others have not.  Others have REALLY…

4. “Sexy and I Know It” - LMFAO

 

It’s aged terribly and I’m aware.  I don’t get it.  How did this happen?  What did I find enjoyable about this?  The music video?  It can’t be because I have always hated this music video.  The artists?  Even I knew LMFAO was a complete joke back when I actually bought their album.  The song writing?  I always knew that the joke was these guys aren’t sexy and they do know it.  I seriously don’t know how it happened.  Unless…just like some of our favorite jokes from yesteryear, they don’t get better the older we get?  That has to be it because five years ago, I found this song to be the funniest thing.  Now?  The production for this song is like an ear jackhammer drilling into my head and it’s obnoxious.  Not helping is that there is no actual singing to help hide the fact that these LMFAO guys are not funny and have absolutely no star power.  That’s why despite Party Rock Anthem not being a good song, I can get behind it since it still sounds fun.  Sexy and I Know It is a meme that is long past its expiration date.

 

Spoiler

Do you want to really know how to get under my skin with bad pop music?  By being as boring as tar.  And it pains me to throw such a label on three artists that I legitimately really like.  But this is without a doubt, each of their own worst.

3. “Lighters” – Bad Meets Evil (featuring Bruno Mars)

 

There is literally nothing redeeming about this at all.  Eminem, once the most dangerous rapper alive, sounds completely uninspired here.  Is this about him coming back to the top after his drug abuse?  It sure as hell doesn’t sound like something triumphant.  Royce Da 5’9’ brings absolutely nothing to the table.  It’s yet another verse about reaching the top against all doubters.  You know since we CLEARLY don’t have enough songs about that.  Bruno…oh my god I’m so happy his career rebounded for me in 2012 because 2011 almost made me completely lose sight in any potential I originally saw in him.  Which brings me to this reiterated point.  Exactly what does Bruno’s chorus have anything to do with the subject matter Em and Royce are rapping about?  It’s like the studio asked him to just write something inspiring without even realizing what the song is actually even about. 

A sky full of Lighters, please.  This should have been extinguished before it even reached the recording studio.  And the fact that they stretched out this song to an over longed five minutes makes this even more of a massive bore.

 

Spoiler

As you can already tell based off what I stated not just three months ago when doing that quick take on Ruth B, but also two years ago with John Legend, I despise dreary shallow pretentious piano ballads that try to pass themselves off as deep and meaningful.  That doesn’t mean all piano ballads are like that as you’ll see when my best list comes around in a few weeks.  But when they are bad, dear god they are pretty much irredeemable.  I despised this song five years ago when Ex and I mocked it all the time on the XAT and I still do today: 

2. “Jar of Hearts” – Christina Perri

 

There are zero redeeming qualities about this oversung, underwritten shlock that it straight up pisses me off every time I hear it.  This is klutzy amateur garbage in a year where Adele eviscerated her ex-boyfriend time and time again.  Trust me when I say that Adele has ten times more talent in her pinky finger than Christina Perri has in her entire existence.  When Adele proclaims that she will set fire to the rain, you feel her setting this guy up in flames.  Where Christina Perri asks who this guy thinks he is tearing her love apart with that ice inside his soul, you can tell that she desperately wants him back in her life.  It feels like she wrote this song in her diary while watching chick flicks and eating ice cream straight out of the container.  Get this unconvincing melodramatic crap off my Top 40 radio and send it to wherever this jar of hearts went off too.  Who do you think you are passing this off as a compelling deep ballad?

 

Spoiler

For my number one choice, let’s rewind to a countdown that has not aged well.  My 50 worst songs of all time.  To those of you who followed said thread saw me say PLENTY of negative things about so many songs that seem to be missing spots on this worst list right now.  Where’s “Like a G6”?  Where’s Nicki Minaj’s pop crossover songs?  Where’s The Black Eyed Peas?  Guys…chill.  I’ve already said it once, I’ll say it again.  Ignore that thread.  While I still hate all those songs that I had on there by some of these artists...it’s not worth my anger anymore.  Those songs are things I’m willing to forgive, but there is still one song that straight up pisses me off that I can’t even forgive the slightest bit.

1. “If I Die Young” – The Band Perry

 

No matter how many years pass, this song is still inexcusable crap.  It tries way too hard to reach for that young girl demographic Taylor Swift brought over to country music nearly a decade ago and fails.  Miserably.  It is one thing to fantasize about teenage love and friendship, but it’s another thing entirely to fantasize about your own funeral like it is My Super Sweet 16th.  And it’s not even that that bugs me.  It’s the fact that it tries to pass itself off as pretentious and meaningful, when this is adolescent self-absorption.  “You’ll miss me when I’m dead.”  Please.  Fantasizing about your death is such an egotistically self-centered mindset.  It’s that sort of attitude that really knows how to get under my skin.  Especially when all three performers were in their late 20s when this song came out.  How did anyone above the age of high school write a song this loathsome?  That’s what drives this song from bad to straight up insufferable.  This song was ass three years ago and it’s still ass today.

Top 10 list coming...in a week?  Two weeks?  A month?  Even longer?  I kid.  I'll get around to it very soon.  Just no promises as to when.

[Katniss]

I love Gold but opinions are opinions  

As for your worst list, can't really disagree with any of these choices. They're either boring or cringeworthy.

 

[The Simpsons]

Didn't really expect you're #1 to be.......that, but it's definitely understandable.

 

Pretty good list, although Enrique Iglesias' Rape Anthem is absent. Expect me to ask an explanation for that later.

[101 Dalmatian Street]

Really good list, I can very much agree with all these choices here and I await to see your top 10.

Also, it looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't get the appeal for "Gold" and finds the YTP-sounding chorus distracting.

[kylie]

What The Hell is such a jam tho 

so what if i go out on a million dates u never call or listen to me anyway  

[Clappy]

A few days?  How about a few hours?  Yep I got the ball rolling on this quickly and didn't stop until I finished.  So for your viewing pleasure...well here you go:

Let’s talk about how awesome the good stuff was this year.  Once again, 2011 was a turning year for this decade and it was a game changer.  You could point to this year as one that shaped the pop music landscape.  Honestly, I could do another Top 25 again like I did for my year end list for 2015, but I’d rather not since the end of the year retrospectives are far more special for me to write than looking back at past ones.  But I will share my 2011 rankings of all one hundred songs just to stress to you guys how great this year was shortly after this gets posted.  For now though, let's bask in the greatness that is:

CLAPPY'S TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 2011

Spoiler

And before you read any further, Rolling in the Deep is not in my Top 10 list.

Yeah that’s right go ahead and don’t like this post because how dare I be the first person to say that Rolling in the Deep is not one of the top ten best hit songs of 2011.  What songs would I dare find better than the number one song of the year?  How about that OTHER song that sampled The Banana Boat song?

10. "6 Foot, 7 Foot" - Lil Wayne (featuring Cory Gunz)

Lil Wayne gets shit on way too much.  Sometimes rightfully so, but just like I stuck up for A Milli in 2008, I think it’s safer to stick up for this one.  To put it simply, Lil Wayne spits straight fire the entire song.  I mean good lord when he was on, Lil Wayne was just simply untouchable as a MC.  Plus “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna” is just a fantastic and memorable line.  I love it so much.

Also Cory Gunz is on this track.  I have no idea whatever happened to him, but good lord this guy’s flow is amazing.  Why did he not get promoted better from the Young Money camp?  It will forever be a mystery, but yes, I love this song.  If Lil Wayne’s retirement announcement recently is real, then this will be his most iconic song in my eyes.

 

Spoiler

Despite all the good music 2011 gave us that I keep praising is incredibly good, I have a 2010 Top 10 backwash song in my Top 10 list for 2011 too.

9. "DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love" - Usher (featuring Pitbull)

 

I usually try to avoid having backwash songs appear on multiple best of the year lists, but I am willing to make such an exception if the song holds up so much better than I previously considered it.  Two years ago, I had this song as my number 9 in my Top 10 list and I said these words:

As the years go by, the more I like this.

Two years later, I absolutely love this.  It just keeps getting better and better the more I listen to it.  Maybe someday I’ll re-rank that 2010 Best List since I felt rushed to have it out back then, but now, yeah this is definitely one of Usher’s best songs and Pitbull’s guest verse is still it’s biggest flaw, but I’m more forgiving of Pitbull’s mindless stupidity now than I was back then because he is in his element on club anthems like this one here.  Yeah this song keeps aging gracefully and if I ever end up doing a Hot 100 Best of the 2010s list, you’re damn right this will find its way on there again.  Thank you DJ.

 

Spoiler

Have you ever had an artist who you’ve always been a big fan of have some of their worst songs become their biggest hits?  Well, I can’t think of a better example of an artist like that for me than this next one.

8. “The Show Goes On” – Lupe Fiasco

Yes a lot of my adoration of this song comes from the fact that it samples “Float On” by Modest Mouse, and yes this song is Lupe telling off his record label and I respect him for that.  What better way to go out than by telling off those who are trying to cut off your own artistic vision.  But man, there are times I just want to punch him for being so frustrated for writing a song that I like this much.  I guess it’s out of my control, but finding out more about the backstory behind this song’s popularity kind of hampered it a bit in my eye.  But hey, I still like this a hell of a lot, even though Lupe has definitely done better.  Definitely one of the most underrated rappers of this past decade to be honest.  You should check out some more of his recent stuff despite it not being nearly as popular because of his fallout with his Atlantic.  Despite this being more than likely his last major hit, the show is still going on for Lupe thankfully.

 

Spoiler

Let it be known for the record that I don’t always hate self-empowerment songs.  My problem with them is that either not enough thought goes into them or way too much thought goes into them.  Yes you can be wrong for caring way too much about empowering others to the point that it’s insulting to me at times.  Ahem:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ9R7ClyI_g

But sometimes, there are empowering songs that get it just right for me.

7. “Firework” – Katy Perry

 

Firework is far from a perfect song.  That “do you feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind” line is still unintentionally insulting to my intelligence.  But good lord is that production just fantastic.  It hits me in the sweet spot every single time, even if Katy’s vocals aren’t strong enough for an anthem this powerful, it works for me just fine.  Also while Katy’s personality is definitely as plastic as they come, everything she sings here just feels real.  She doesn’t target for specific demographics like Gaga does on Born This Way, but she simply addresses everyone without needing to specifically let everyone know that this for them.  It’s not phony, it’s not pandering.  It just feels like a real message.

Also, this is now consistently played every 4th of July.  And rightfully so because it’s that awesome.

 

Spoiler

Sometimes there are just songs that take a while to catch on with the general public for being too abrasive.  But when they do, oh man, I’ve got a two word phrase that best describes it perfectly:

6. “Fuck You” – Cee Lo Green

 

Sure I can use that two phrase word to describe the artist now that it’s well known he’s a scumbag, but hey Chris Brown is an asshole too and that doesn’t stop me from saying I still like some of his music.  But I give credit for this song’s success more to Bruno Mars for his sharp songwriting and The Smeezingtons for their fantastic MoTown style production.  Did you guys know that Lupe isn’t the only one who wrote a great hit song this year about the music industry?  Because that’s what this song is actually about.  It makes it even better in my eyes knowing what I know now.

Despite how much I like this though, I do want to say “fuck you” to Glee for helping make this song so big by its radio friendly cover.  It’s not “forget you”.  It’s a big ole “FUCK YOU”.  Channing Tatum is right.

 

Spoiler

And despite one of the biggest songs of the year having the words “Fuck You” as a song title, this song was surprisingly the most controversial.

5. “Pumped Up Kicks” – Foster the People

Which for the record, the controversy over this song was ridiculously overblown to begin with.  It’s not about a school shooting guys, it’s about the homicidal thoughts of a troubled child with a serious mental illness.  It’s a song about bringing awareness to gun violence amongst youth.  And honestly, that’s not the reason I love this song.  It could have become just another preachy awareness song about such a serious subject matter, but it’s so cheery and happy about it that I strangely love this.  And I seriously wish Foster the People were more than just one hit wonders because this was the song that introduced me to them and after listening to them for five years now, Foster the People are one of my favorite alternative rock groups today.  If this is the lasting memory of Foster the People’s impact on the charts then so be it, but I’m thankful that it was one of the biggest songs of the year.  It’s that damn good.

 

Spoiler

Sorry guys, still no Rolling in the Deep.  It’s still a good song and I’m not denying how impactful it was on 2011 as a whole, but after listening to Adele constantly trash this ex-boyfriend song after song on 21, I grew tired of it.  Now if only there was one song that was different from the rest and would make the whole album come full circle and…

4. “Someone Like You” – Adele

 

Now this is a piano ballad done absolutely right.  The song’s minimal piano accompaniment isn’t played off as shallow and pretentious here like a certain song that I crapped on in my worst list.  It’s because it’s the right choice since Adele bashed this guy to pieces all over 21, but needed just one song to make this guy come off as sympathetic.  And you know what?  It works.  I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but “Someone Like You” is the realest song Adele has ever released because all the emotions just feel real and genuine.  The line “sometimes it last to love, but sometimes it hurts instead” is just absolutely haunting.  I always point out with Adele that I want that one song of hers that I feel an actual connection to.  Well after five years of this song existing, it has gotten so much better that I’m not even joking when I say Adele will never have a song that is better than this for me.  Its the real deal.

 

Spoiler

Man, what a mature subject matter to talk about in that last rank.  How could I possibly follow such high remarks for a song that serious?  With something completely stupid of course!

3. “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” – Katy Perry

 

I’m not going to deny that out of all the Teenage Dream songs, I absolutely love this one the most.  It’s fun.  It’s upbeat.  It’s got a kick ass 80s pop production.  It’s got a realistic narrative.  Gasp, you mean pictures appearing of you acting like a drunken dumbass will have actual repercussions?  Who would have thought?  But just like the narrative itself, Katy Perry says who cares because she had the most awesome party ever.  And unlike Hot Chelle Rae, I believe this was the best party ever.  The entire song feels like a party I want to go to over and over again.  And to add to the cherry on top of the best party ever comes a fantastic sax solo from Kenny G that will make you forget all those 80s adult contemporary songs he did for just a brief fifteen to twenty seconds.  No shame about how much I love this because I would praise it all….again…

 

Spoiler

But for as much praise as I just handed out for Katy’s retro pop hit, let’s be clear.  It wasn’t the best one of 2011.  This was.

2. “The Edge of Glory” – Lady Gaga

 

I remember my supremely short lived album review thread where my song critiquing was still in it’s infant phases.  I decided to tackle the entire Born This Way album and while some of those songs and comments don’t hold up nearly as well five years later (ahem the title track), if there was one comment that still rings true, the album ends on a fantastic note with easily the best song of the album and the best pure pop song of the year.  This is still Lady Gaga’s best song she has ever done.  When Gaga cuts out the pretentiousness and artistic nonsense, she’s at her absolute best when she does pure pop music and every move made here is perfect.  From the anthem chorus to the fantastic production to the rocking Clarence Clemons sax solo that blows me away more so than Kenny G’s does in the song above.  This song is just excellent from start to finish and a 2010s pop masterpiece.

 

Spoiler

So what could be better than a self-proclaimed pop masterpiece?  Well how about a pure grade A+ work of art album?  It’s a modern hip-hop masterpiece that comes from one of the most insane, yet best artists of our time.  Ladies and gentlemen, Kanye West.

1. “All of the Lights” – Kanye West (featuring Rihanna)

 

There is no denying despite how egotistical the man himself is that Kanye West is talented.  “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” is his best album and about three singles into the dive of his psyche, Kanye performs this song that is actually about someone other than himself…or so it appears.  The intensity of Kanye’s performance as a “con” who is losing his grip on sanity is matched with one of his best produced songs of all time.  This song is just big and Kanye makes it feel big as well with a shit ton of guest stars that blend together to dive even further into his slipping sanity just meshes so well.  It’s one of the best songs on my favorite rapper’s best album.  I can’t praise this song enough…although that music video is still an eye sore which is why I didn't post it.  Kanye, all I have to say is that you deserve every single ounce of praise you received for this.  It’s that damn good…and there goes Kanye’s ego again.

 

[Katniss]

It's amazing how many of these songs I still love today, and how much 2016 blows in comparison music-wise.

[The Simpsons]

1 and 2 are, no doubt, my favorite songs from 2011.

 

Anyways, thoughts on:

Tonight (I'm Fucking You)

Grenade

Animal

Black and Yellow

Coming Home

We R Who We R

Party Rock Anthem

Moves Like Jagger

Just Can't Get Enough

 

And last but not least-least-least-least-least-least-least--

 

Spoiler

DIRTY BIT

 

[President Squidward]

Nice list. Both of them I agree with. especially on the worst list. Avril's music is embarrassing now, but then I never really cared for her music.  

whats your thoughts on Five O Clock by T-Pain and Lily Allen? I like it tbh  

[Katniss]

7 minutes ago, President Squidward said:

Nice list. Both of them I agree with. especially on the worst list. Avril's music is embarrassing now, but then I never really cared for her music.  

whats your thoughts on Five O Clock by T-Pain and Lily Allen? I like it tbh  

The original is better  

 

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Damn, Clap.

[Young Nug]

How dare you bash Gold that shit got pop hook/beat of the year fam 

 

Tonight, Tonight is turn off your brain pop fun 

And the Jeremih disrespect  

but you real af for the Kanye, Lupe and Weezy placements so I can't even be mad tbh. Good looks fam  

[Wumbo]

11 hours ago, Bada Bing Nuggets said:

Tonight, Tonight is turn off your brain pop fun 

Tonight Tonight takes away half my brain every time I listen to it

"EVEN THE WHITE KIDS" holy shit I want to kick this guy in the balls

[Clappy]

Thank you all for the likes for these lists.  I sincerely appreciate it and it means a lot to me.  I promise to post the full list from top to bottom when I return to my home computer where my lists are saved.  So live from mobile land, I will respond to a few posts with my thoughts:

@Fred Rechid

Tonight (I'm Fucking You) - Honestly used to stick up for it being so bad it's good, but after relistening to it for the first time in a few years while doing this countdown...yeah it's so bad it's bad.  The only positive me is even a phoned in Ludacris guest verse can still entertain me so it at least has that going for it.  Otherwise, yeah this is definitely the next to lowest point for Enrique for me.  Escape is still the worst for me since it was the Tonight (I'm Fucking You) before the real one.

Grenade - I prefer retro throwback Bruno to walking Zanex advertisement Bruno any day, but I respect this a lot more than I should.  What can I say, it's pretty well written.  Overdramatic, yes, but it's the sort of theatrically written overdramatic that goes all out and makes me like it a hell of a lot more than Bruno's multiple retreads into this pool.  I like this.

Animal - I really like this and it's still Neon Trees best song, but I would be lying if I said tyr commercialization of this song in nearly every trailer for the two or three years after this came out got me rather sick of it over time.  But there is no denying this is great.

Black and Yellow - Have to stand up for this somewhat because I've been to Pittsburgh and it is a city that deserves an anthem for its sports heritage and industrial history...its just too bad Wiz didn't actually make a song about it.  Slightly below average luxury rap song otherwise with a chorus that I like it a lot more than I have any right to.

Coming Home - This song is fine and all, but this has a lot more to do with how uninspired Diddy is musically anymore and more about shelving himself off as a walking product advertisement of the Diddy brand.  I wish he could come home to actually focus on making good music because what I like about the song is Skylar Grey and Dirty Money's backing vocals.  Definitely not Diddy.

We R Who We R - I've softened on this a lot primarily because that chorus is an absolute ear piranha.  But the verses before it...yeah I'm sorry I can't stand them still.  Surprisingly, I like Blow A LOT more than I do this and you'll see when I get those rankings up.  I do miss Ke$ha though and hope she can get new music up someday.

Party Rock Anthem - STOP.  Hating is bad.  It's okay, but to hate on it for a brief minute, it would be much more of a guilty pleasure if it wasn't for that ear bleeding drop after the chorus gets finished every time.  I like the synths though and while it still hasn't aged well, it's at least aged better than Sexy and I Know It.

Moves Like Jagger - Yeah this is a fun song, but I kinda wish they did more Mick Jagger references and I would have liked this a lot more as a guilty pleasure.  Why no Dancing in the Street reference, Adam Levine?  But yeah that Christina Aguilera guest spot doesn't help either.  That feels like a studio executive move to make this even more of an obvious sellout.  But this is far better than most of Maroon 5's sellout songs so I'll take it.

Just Can't Get Enough - Can I just get Fergie by herself on this because my god she is great on this...it's just too bad that this is a Black Eyed Peas song and will.i.am has to fuck everything else up.  Seriously what the hell is with that switch up in the last minute for absolutely no reason?

The Time-ime-ime-ime-iiiiiiiii (Dirty Bit) - It barely avoided my worst list because it's become a joke within itself and its a funny joke at that.  But there is absolutely no denying that this song is shit-it-it-it-it-it-it-it it it it it it...DIRTY BIT.

@President Squidward

5'O Clock - Actually made the 2012 year end list but I'll cover it anyway for ya.  @Katniss is right that the original is better, but good lord do I lowkey miss T-Pain because he actually knows how to use auto tune right.  It's not one of his better songs, but it's still okay until Wiz shows up.

and last but certainly least...

On September 7, 2016 at 11:26 PM, Bada Bing Nuggets said:

How dare you bash Gold that shit got pop hook/beat of the year fam 

 

...I'm getting too old for this shit if that's what makes a song good to you young people these days.  

Also Jeremih actually had a good song in 2016 so no disrespect entirely.

[Katniss]

Might as well ask for your thoughts on a few songs as well  I know you're posting the full list later but I like to hear your opinions lel

-Moment 4 Life

-Back to Decemeber 

-Blow

-On the Floor

-S&M

-Only Girl (in the World)

-Raise Your Glass

[President Squidward]

Oh yeah, wanted to ask, have you ever done a year-end list for 2003? Would love to see your thoughts on that year in music.

Edited September 9, 2016 by President Squidward

[Young Nug]

16 hours ago, Clappy said:

 ...I'm getting too old for this shit if that's what makes a song good to you young people these days.  

Also Jeremih actually had a good song in 2016 so no disrespect entirely.

alright listen here meatloaf boy

first off I saw that comment about certainly least so if you wanna catch these hands we can totally do it BOB

secondly okay it's not really a great song but it sounds nice and I'm not really expecting anything meaningful from a glitch pop artist named lowkii savage in 2016 but it's the verses that seem uninspired not the hook, you feel dog, the hook is the only part of the song that feels fresh and when the hi hats come in ??

Now since we are in 2011 how did you feel about certain songs off Watch the Throne like Racial Expletives In Paris and Otis and No Church In The Wild