Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100

[Burgerpants]

I'm gonna make a large review of the alt charts when this year is over and done (and I'm not gonna make it like my quite frankly embarrassing review thread from my Ham days ), but let me tell you, I'm much less enthusiastic about the current state of this format than you guys are. My point is...

this

This hit the top ten on the charts (which, considering how it is on supposedly-alternative stations, means it gets played like it's #1, because the charts tend to be stagnant as fuck).

This is their standards of quality.

Think about that for a second.

[Wumbo]

"Middle Fingers" is an absolutely atrocious song, and no matter how much I hate "Believer", at the very least, "Believer" had some sort of ambition. Ambition to make movie trailer music, sure, but at least something. This is just... why? This would be at the bottom of my list, no question.

AJR's on their usual quirky bullshit. I've never been a fan, not even that SpongeBob song. That said, it's not actively offensive or anything. If I wasn't told that Rivers Cuomo was in this song, I couldn't point him out, his presence is so muted. This would probably be in the mid-bottom half for me for at least being happy but also completely disposable, like I find all their work.

That said, in regards to Burgerpants' post, one bad song does not a trend make. Despite this song being in the Top 10, I still have faith in the alt charts. Honestly, I get holding these charts to a higher standard than, say, the pop charts because rock music has usually been seen as more cerebral. But I think it's a stretch to say that the overall state of the charts is going downhill because of one stupid song. That being said, there's definitely a problem with the alt charts in regards to commercial airplay and pandering to that outlet. It goes deeper than just "Middle Fingers", but there are some identifiable problems. Hopefully other outlets can be discovered/re-discovered for promotion.

[Clappy]

This was my first time listening to that Middle Fingers song and I’m fully convinced this song was written to be intentionally pretentious as fuck.  Because there is no way they expected us to take this seriously...no way...just no.

Probably would rank this a step above Believer because it did generate actual laughter out of me.

 

As for that AJR song, it’s mediocre.  Probably would rank it around the 13-15 range.  Wouldn’t have recognized Rivers Cuomo if you didn’t point him out.  Wumbo said it best that they are too inoffensive to hate.  It’s at least better than that SpongeBob sample song

[SG19]

Speaking of X Ambassadors, is it wrong that I think Renegades is kinda decent?

[Wumbo]

yes

[President Squidward]

Don't hurt me, but I legit can't stand The Man. I enjoy some Killers songs here and there, but this one I can't get into.

When I first heard this song, I didn't even know it was The Killers lmao

[Wumbo]

6 hours ago, President Squidward said:

Don't hurt me, but I legit can't stand The Man.

I DON'T GIVE A DAAAAAMN

[Clappy]

On 4/23/2017 at 1:04 PM, Young Nug said:

People seem very receptive to our beef Clappy, we need to find a way to monetize this or something 

Ask and you all shall receive.  Nearly a year later, Nuggets and I are monetizing our beef.  Since both of us are working our year end lists at the moment, it won’t be monetized immediately, but within the coming weeks, the two of us are collaborating to drop the hottest post on SBC.

Yep, the two of us will be ranking the Winter 2018 Billboard Hip-Hop/R&B charts of week ending undecided yet.  Will the old man feel even older after this collaboration?  Will meatloaf boy be able to teach this old man a thing or two?  Tune in and find out in the coming month or so.

[Katniss]

I think SBC needs to brace itself, this collab sounds too fire  

[Wumbo]

2 lit 2 quit

[President Squidward]

gucci gang better get a postive review

[Wumbo]

2 hours ago, President Squidward said:

gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang better get a postive review

fixed that for ya

[Young Nug]

2 hours ago, President Squidward said:

gucci gang better get a postive review

With its ridiculously intricate lyrics and a Harvard graduate rapper at the helm how could it not?

[President Squidward]

On 12/3/2017 at 2:20 AM, President Squidward said:

Don't hurt me, but I legit can't stand The Man. I enjoy some Killers songs here and there, but this one I can't get into.

When I first heard this song, I didn't even know it was The Killers lmao

I regret this post

[Clappy]

On 2/1/2018 at 2:20 AM, President Squidward said:

I regret this post

Look who decided to kiss on the ring?

 

Anyway, Nugs and I are both working on our collaboration as we speak.  We are doing this week’s rap charts in case we run late.  So if you’re curious as to what’s charting, well here ya go:

https://www.billboard.com/charts/r-b-hip-hop-songs

[Wumbo]

Spoiler

if roll in peace isn't the joint worst song one or both of y'all need to re-examine your life choices

 

[Clappy]

So while I wait patiently for Meatloaf Boy to finish his commentary on the previous week’s rap charts (I don't got all day says the old man  ), I don’t want this thread to go to waste.  You know what I haven’t done in a few years?  A full on song review.  Yeah this topic has been filled with current chart rankings and retrospective year end countdowns.  It wasn’t always like that if you go all the way back to the first page.  I’ll be honest, it’s kind of hard to give some of the songs that are hits today the full review treatment…and today’s song review won’t be one song getting the full review treatment.  It will be two songs from two artists who I haven’t really gotten a chance to go that far in depth about.  So time to dust off this old format for another edition of….

 

SONG VS SONG

 

You guys want to talk about things not done in this blog for a while.  It’s been at least three years since I’ve done this.  So who is today’s competitor?  It’s not just one, it is two lucky ladies.  One’s from close to my hometown from Edison, New Jersey and has been one of the more relevant pop artists over the past few years, give it up to Halsey.  The other is from the UK, who I’ve heard of in the worldwide scene for about the past year, who finally got her first top ten a few weeks ago.  Introducing, Dua Lipa!

 

“Bad at Love” – Halsey VS “New Rules” – Dua Lipa

 

Now before I begin, a bit of a preamble about both of these artists.

I was introduced to Halsey back in 2015 from one of my friends in real life.  She lent me her debut album BADLANDS and man, what a mixed bag that was for me.  The album shows so many flashes of great potential and often it leaks through with good to great songs like “Castle” and especially “Colors”, one of my favorites of hers personally.  But with those flashes, comes thudding crap that I hate like “New Americana”.  There are others I don’t like from the album, but let it sink in that “New Americana” was the big hit off that album and the one that gave plenty of people their first impression of her.  I thought it would kill her momentum easily, but alas, it didn’t.  She was still in the eyes of the public guest dropping on albums by PARTYNEXTDOOR and Justin Bieber.  But the real big push came from collaborating with The Chainsmokers on “Closer”.  I think by the time the 2010s are over and done, “Closer” will be one of the biggest songs of the decade.  It established The Chainsmokers as one of the biggest acts in pop music and pushed Halsey’s growing starpower as one on the rise.

Enter 2017.  Halsey finally followed up that smash single with her next record.  I’ll be honest.  I haven’t heard it in its entirety yet, but what I have heard from it makes me think that it’s more of the same of what I’ve come to expect from her.  I’m still waiting for one of her albums to really wow me, but when your lead single was “Now or Never”, you don’t invest me enough to stream all of your album.

And that’s even more than I know about Dua Lipa.  I admittedly know next to nothing about her except she’s new to the music industry.  I heard only two other singles from her.  The first one is called “Blow Your Mind (Mwah)” which sounds like something Pink or Katy Perry would come up with before both of them went on autopilot careerwise.  The other is an EDM track with Martin Garrix that I thought maybe that’s her niche calling.  To be the next Bebe Rexha, Rita Ora, etc.  Because I got nothing from her personally to really invest me on her as a solo artist.

But now, both of them have reached solo success.  Both of these songs topped the pop radio charts fairly recently and both, along with Camila Cabello are out to prove that the female pop song purge is not completely true.  And you know what?  I don’t think both of these songs are amazing or anything, but I like them both a lot.

Spoiler

 

Let’s start with “Bad at Love”.  A song about pondering what went wrong in previous relationships.  And as someone who has gone through a few toxic relationships of his own, I can totally relate to the subject matter at hand.  Granted, I don’t like the fact that Halsey’s reasons for breaking up with the guys and girls in her life are flimsy as hell.  I think there is a huge difference in terms of being “bad at love” and “not connecting with the right person”, but that would be a mouthful to belt.  But hey, when I was Halsey’s age, I thought the same thing.

Honestly, it’s the performance that really drives the song home for me.  Halsey is one of the better pop artists today that can make me connect to the stories in her music through performance.  It worked on her promotional duet with Lauren from Fifth Harmony, “Strangers”, and it works here too.  This is without a doubt, the best Halsey has ever sounded on one of her radio singles.  This was the raw power and emotion that I saw in her a few years ago from that first album.  She is such a natural belter that I wish she would be able to do that more in her music.  Now if only the radio executives released the material that better shows off her potential more, than I can fully get behind Halsey.

Spoiler

 

Then there is “New Rules”.  A break-up empowerment anthem on how to get over a former lover.  Todd in the Shadows pointed out on his best list this past year that in terms of the battle of the sexes, the females have been running up the score against men in terms of killer diss tracks.  I absolutely agree with that proclamation.  It’s because it is easy to picture men having massive egos that need to be taken down multiple pegs and rightfully so.  You got that here too, but this is a tad different.  This is not just a diss against the guy, but it’s a diss against any girl who keeps going back to her douche of an ex-boyfriend.  And all it takes is one line:

And if you’re under him
You ain’t getting over him

That is such a cutting line and I love it.  Honestly, if you keep going back to your ex for sex, you’re not over him no matter how many times you tell yourself that.  Dua Lipa’s songwriting is ridiculously on point and you can tell this is from her own personal experience.  However, if I can register just one minor complaint with the song…*ducks*

Yeah I know.  How dare I say there is something wrong with such a banger like this.  That’s the minor problem I have with it.  The music.  It is fine, but I wish it was more memorable.  Like remove the trop house production from this entirely and place it on any other pop song out there right now and it sounds all the same.  For example:

I heard this song on a commercial the other day and I thought, is that “New Rules”?  No, it’s some Charli XCX song.  I think that’s just a personal problem I’m having with today’s pop music climate.  A lot of it sounds the same to me and there isn’t as much variety as there used to be production wise.  There are very few artists out there like Bruno Mars that do their own thing (or rehash sounds from yesteryear) and automatically get a hit song.  That’s why despite “New Rules” is no question the better of the two songs in this review, I find myself revisiting “Bad at Love” more.

But hey, at the end of the day, I legitimately like both of these songs.  It’s ridiculously too early to tell if both of these will wind up on my best list come year end time, but hey I’d rather listen to either of these than that Ed Sheeran ballad that now bores me to tears or that Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line duet nobody asked for that isn’t even remotely country music.  If that's the case, then yeah both of these songs get the Clappy seal of approval.

[Wumbo]

Spot on, bro. Listening back to "New Rules", it really does seem like a lot of pop these days is similar. I kept on finding beats similar to "It Ain't Me", myself. I think what separates this song from others, though, is the lyrical construction, which is memorable and poignant. "Bad at Love" hits me in the gut a lot harder than I expected it to, so I love that song as well.

[Katniss]

If I can say one good thing about the instrumentation of New Rules, it's the horns in the chorus. Love me some horns.

I love Halsey and the synthpop vibe on Bad at Love and her second album in general is something I can get behind. I didn't find the lyrics that flimsy tbh but that's just me. I like how unapologetic she is about hinting at the same-sex relationships she's had. She's bisexual irl and it feels refreshing to have that type of relationship talked about in a genuine way and not just experimentation (as much as I enjoyed Cool for the Summer a few years ago). 

And like you and Wumbo said, the lyrics to New Rules are so memorable and interesting. I henr heard a ton from Dua but she's got me so hooked by this one single. It's been on the charts for so long and it deserves to be in the top 10 finally.

Sorry for verging into essay territory but I just like both of these songs a lot  

[Wumbo]

I really hope "IDGAF" takes off as well. It's not as distinctive as "New Rules" but I'll take anything I can get from Dua Lipa over shit no one cares about like Bebe Rexha.