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221b. SpongeBob ‘n Friends episode 54: Gramma Funny Moments

One day Plankton and his wife were cybering all over the place on several message forum boards and online chatrooms, scaring and scarring every able bodied preteenager and Terminoob there. When suddenly Plankton gets a skype call from nuggets who his dm’ed dear ol’ Gramma (damn how old would she be for him to be alive, guess southerners really are as tough as they look BUM DUM PSSST). She reminded Plankton that on her 3,178th birthday he would buy out Scientology for her because besides the meth, she was into some creepy cult shit. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs who were diehard members of their navy seals had pledged one billion years of their life to the church (an actual thing some members in the church do in real life) decided to help their little archenemy out a little (in exchange that the three of them can all take turns cybering Karen in their Discord roleplay subchannel). With the help of religious member and prized celebrity idol, Tom Cruise’s influence, Plankton was soon enough gained with favorable eyes through most of the members there. Gramma was so excited when she entered the blue architectural genius of a building she exploded into a million pieces. Skodwarde who had given the bomb flavored pie bomb to Gramma hours before after gaining the old woman’s trust as posing as a young and hip male sex worker, then stepped in and changed the sect to....pun in 3...2....1....Skodwardetology. 


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222a. Pat the Whore

One day, SpongeBob, Patrick and Scott are screwing around in Patrick’s rock. All three of them are high out of their minds, and reading a fancy children’s book. The book tells them that they can “be anything they want to be” (deep). After getting a moment of spiritual enlightenment, Patrick says he wants to…become a whore! SpongeBob and Scott are both confused by this, asking if he meant “horse”. Patrick insists to them he does in fact, mean whore. Scott says “well, good luck with that” to him. Patrick then enjoys a night out, training to be the best whore Bikini Bottom has ever seen. After some nautical nonsense and whacky hyper shenanigans that involves Bubblebath becoming Patrick’s pimp, Patrick gets ready to compete in a whore race. However, Skodwarde gets tired of this nonsense, and puts the episode to an abrupt stop, much to Patrick’s dismay. He is pissed at how lazy, utterly stupid and what a waste of an episode idea this is, given we only have 10 (count em, 10!) episodes left in the spin-off after this. Seriously, the show has done the race concept three times (one of which already involved a prostitute) now…come on guys.

Even the writer didn’t know what else to do with the premise, really telling we’re out of ideas and coasting at this point. Skodwarde claps his hands and turns the episode into something else: a slide show presentation showing “what if” clips of many unused Skodified episode ideas we’ll never get to, including: Spin the Bottle, The Legend of Boo-Kini Bottom, The Check-up, There’s Shit in My Soup, No Pictures Please, Stuck on the Roof, Krabby Patty Creature Feature, Cuddle E What The Actual Fuck Is This Shit?, Sanitation Insanity, Scavenger Pants, Don’t Feed the Trolls, Drive Happy, Old Man Skodwarde, and much, much more. Let’s pretend those did happen, we’re just not gonna show them to you because we’re lazy, or Skodwarde is an asshole, or both. Skodwarde then proceeds to have a weed party with SpongeBob, Scott and Patrick.


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Decided I'll at least post the first act of my final solo ep (yeah, there's three acts. I'm THAT mad) since I've been taking longer than I thought I would. I'll post the last two acts once I finish them both up (about halfway done with the third act, so it'll be sometime within the next week). Hope this helps set the mood for the rest.

Episode 222b. Bad Times at the Scrapped Dimension

Short and sweet OG Skodwarde version for those with lives


One day, Sandy invents a plot device that can help them find Mr. Krabs from wherever Larry the Main Character banished him off to. Skolliam shows up to fuck shit up, as per usual, and uses his god powers to delete Skodwarde from existence. SpongeBob and Patrick find a way to the Scrapped Dimension through Bubblebath while Sandy contends with the Skolliam problem back home. After some, you guessed it, nautical nonsense involving god powers, god battles and scrapped characters from all throughout the show's history (including the movies), Team Skodwarde is barely able to overcome the Scrapped Dimension's god, Squidward Tentacles, following a timely sacrifice made by their frenemy, Plankton. Through cosmic bullshit, they manage to return home and, making use of their experiences in the Scrapped Dimension (or maybe not, depending on who's writing), prepare to march into Great War against Skolliam for one final god battle to end all god battles. Also, Bubblebath comes out of this with his own talk show and Bubble Buddy gets assimilated into a clusterfuck that controls him into building one clusterfuck of a city that shall be put center stage in a future episode.


We are treated to a opening montage chronicling the road Skodwarde's taken so far with various clips from throughout Skodwarde's rich spinoff history, all leading up to the events that are about unfold in this episode, with some very fitting music playing in the background.


The montage ends with the reveal of a mysterious figure watching said montage on GodTube through their idiot box. They proceed to crumple up the idiot box with their god power once the montage concludes.

Act I


Well, it just wouldn't be a final season of Skodwarde without Patchy ze Butt Pirate and Potty getting on our every last nerves at least one more time! Still suffering from some lingering after effects thanks to Luke's Document last season, Patchy and Potty are in the process of moving on from Skodwarde, spending more of their time playing battle royale games and the still fairly new Devil May Cry 5, I guess. Patchy says that it's too soon, yet pretty long overdue for him to return after the mild inconvenience he and Potty helped instigate on the Skodwarde Community forums almost a year ago as a result of them swallowing the red pill. Potty will only bother to care once the Skod version of "Ink Lemonade" gets posted.  But until then, she'll be busy creaming herself over a certain purple dragon or Borderlands 3, thank you very much. And that's it for this intro segment. On with the show!

One day, SpongeBob and Patrick were going around, shouting at everybody within earshot that "we gotta get Krabs!" While everyone in town focuses on spreading their pubic lice around, SB&P pays Sandy a visit at her Treedome, hoping to move this whole "we gotta get Krabs...back" story arc the fuck along cuz who knows, he might be slated to appear in more episodes before the show's over and we can't very well shit about five more Krusty Krab episodes out without the sweaty guy. It'd just be sacrilege.

Sandy introduces them to her latest and greatest plot device yet; the Dimension Hopper Pants (haha! get it?), which aren't really pants. It's just a portal you have to walk through because I wanted to fit in an Easter egg just in time for the holiday (well, at least at the time of this writing). She explains that when powered by the Atlantean Amulet (AS SEEN IN SKODWARDE EPISODE "Atlantis: The Skod Empire"), that she stole for "research", it can be used to enter a wide variety of other worlds, breaking through to entirely different dimensions even. Sandy Sanchez demonstrates the con*burrrp*venience of the device by opening up a portal to Texas (which is its own dimension now, apparently), where she proceeds to swipe Texan Patchy's nuts right out from under him. It quickly becomes apparent that this isn't the first time that's happened to the poor guy.

SpongeBob and Patrick get their Jeffrey Jellyfish on, completely ignoring Sandy's warning about not touching anything by listing off the many things that they're not allowed to touch by way of just touching them anyway. Skodwarde catches wind of all this and bursts onto the scene, not amused by the pair's tired, old ass bullshit. 

"You two shit for brains looking like you belong in a John K cartoon or some shit," Skodwarde scathingly insults. 

Patrick, in particular, takes the "old ass" crack quite personally. He and SpongeBob feel the wrinkles from their dated characters forming almost immediately. To save both himself and everybody else reading from their old song and dance, Skodwarde volunteers himself to hop dimensions and find Mr. Krabs. Sandy agrees wholeheartedly and fires the plot device up in order to solve their problem. She scrapes a sample of Krabs' dried cum off of his first dollar and places it into the beep boop boop bop drive of the plot device so that she can more accurately pinpoint where Larry threw his sweaty ass at exactly. The Dimension Hopper Pants settles on a final destination, opening up a portal that will supposedly lead Skodwarde to Mr. Krabs. Skodwarde's a bit insulted that this land squirrel's science has achieved what he, a god, could not, but he sucks up her nuts as well as his pride for the betterment of the show's final episodes. 

As Skodwarde slowly approaches the open portal, he's greeted by the unwelcome arrival of  his arch rival, Skolliam Fancycunt III, entering into the Treedome from the other side of the portal like the goddamn reckoning. The ramifications of "Communists vs Fascists" and "Skod Noir" both come back to haunt Skodwarde as Skolliam puts away his advanced, gold plated original copy of the Communist Manifesto, snidely stating that he's been waiting for them to finally get caught up to speed. Skolliam chides Skodwarde about how he still hasn't learned to hop dimensions through use of god powers alone. 

"Perhaps you shouldn't have skipped 'The String'," Skolliam cryptically states.

He offers to help save Skoddy the trouble by DELETING him, causing Skodwarde to fade away into OBSOLETION. Yeeeeheheheheeeesss! Hohohohohohahahahaha! A sense of dread quickly sets in with the others as Skolliam makes sexy eyes towards them now. Skolliam wastes no time in taking Sandy's plot device out of the equation by using his god powers to make it to implode. He solemnly declares that there is no God for he has rendered the opium of the people OBSOLETE, further decreeing that they must now kneel and profess their love unto he, their new neighbor. And if they follow his word like gospel right down to the final letter, he may consider granting them all happy endings in his planned series ending orgy in veneration of Vladimir Lenin. SpongeBob and Patrick consider doing it, even going the extra mile offering to suck his nonexistent dick, but Sandy's agnostic ass ain't about being sure about that life, so she unleashes her Hurricane Sandy god powers at a category 1 level, doing little more than ruffling Skolliam's thick and valuable pubic hair monobrow. Sandy entrusts SpongeBob and Patrick with the task of figuring out a way to get both Skodwarde and Krabs back before ejecting them out of her dome. Both doors going in and out slam shut behind them and automatically locks. Metal containment walls enclose around the entire Treedome, trapping herself inside with the squid commie.

Skolliam scoffs at her countermeasures, neither intimidated or amused by mere metal walls. Sandy informs him that after many episodes of facing the likes of Skodwarde, Pathulu, Spengbab, Moar Krabs, Flats, Larry, Whelks, zombies, Jellions, filler sauce, Moons and Luke's Documents, she's fully fortified her dome with some added convenience and enhanced plot armor, essentially making the vicinity god-proof. And now that she has him trapped inside with her, he therefore should have no power over her. Back outside, SpongeBob and Patrick nonchalantly scubers for Scott so that he can provide their escape. Inside the Treedome, Sandy tries goading Skolliam into using his power on her, but he frustratingly refrains. She calls on her suit of plot armor and prepares to be all over Skolliam like ugly on an ape. She brandishes a pop gun from all the way back in "Sandy's Rocket" during Season 1 and uses it to go god hunting, further trapping Skolliam in anti-god netting. With the added pressure, she proceeds to wallop Skolliam with her karate prowess for a couple seconds before Skolliam breaks himself free from the netting. He claims that her opium-induced DELUSIONS of grandeur have no power over him (because commies are atheist li'dat, yo) before he decides to go back to being the least bit serious, effortlessly knocking Sandy back into her god-proof walls. The force of the blow being enough to break the helmet around her head. He uses this to his advantage as he proceeds to beat her prone head into the walls, creating several noticeable dents in it, as well as indents of her face. Sandy questions how he can still be so strong despite her countermeasures. Skolliam says that he's simply "better in bed than all those other OBSOLETE mules you call GODS". Sandy wants to know more about that, perhaps a bit more "in-depth", but her attempts to seduce him fail like Bulma with Zamasu when Skolliam uses his god power to condense the oxygen around them, tightening it and leaving no room for Sandy to breathe. The picnic table, running wheel and Sandy's tree house all levitate off the ground as the dome's hazard lights turn on.

Scott finally arrives to pick the boys up as the Treedome assplodes right behind them. SpongeBob tells Scott to floor it and he pedals the fuck on outta there. Skolliam emerges from the wreckage unscathed. He makes his intentions to dismantle everything that Skodwarde has established for himself known. SpongeBob and Patrick then brainstorm ideas on what volume of Big Booty Beluga Whales they should watch before dying. Once that's out of the way, they finally try to think of other ways to get Skodwarde and Krabs out of obscurity. Scott gives his two cents that maybe there's a character somewhere in town who's faded in out of obscurity plenty of times already. Perhaps someone who was meant to be just a one-off, but somehow keeps coming back for no good reason. Patrick thinks, with all due respect to Scott

"That's fucking stupid."

He then goes on to reiterate what Scott had just said, just even more fucking stupider, to a much warmer reception. Skolliam's tentacle suddenly burst in from the roof of the pedicab and he grabs Patrick by the point of his head and pulls his head up through the hole. Skolliam says that they could've just came to him for a solution as he nows attempts to render Pathulu OBSOLETE. But suddenly, Skolliam finds himself caught in a lasso and gets pulled miles back to where it came from, with a mushroom cloud setting off once Skolliam finally touches down. The shock waves from which sends shivers up all their dicks. SpongeBob and Patrick have both been on the receiving end of that before. They all knew exactly who that was.

Skolliam regains consciousness, finding himself face to face with Hurricane Sandy. Hurricane Sandy gives him no breathing room, immediately going on a category 5 offensive. Armed with a whip and lasso, she takes the fight back to Skolliam like something out of Kingsman: The Secret Circle. But Skolliam quickly puts a stop to her resistance by forcefully extracting Hurricane Sandy from her body, cutting Sandy off from her own god powers. Skolliam begins to crush Hurricane Sandy's essence within his suction cups when Sandy tries to lasso it out of his grasps. Skolliam uses her lasso against her, pulling her in closer while fashioning Hurricane Sandy's essence into a swirling ball of hurricane force cosmic energy with which he uses to rasengan the fuck out of Sandy, and right in the vagina for good measure. Sandy's eyes pop out and her plot armor gets torn to shreds upon impact as the rasengan does a huge number on her sex drive. The blast makes it all the way to Texas as an unprecedented category 6 shitstorm, leveling the lone star state in its wake, as well as making for damn sure that Texan Patchy will never ever get his nuts back.

SpongeBob and Patrick are of course oblivious to all of this as they tell Scott to cycle them on over to the sex shop to pick up their Big Booty Beluga Whales volume of choice (#69, to be exact. Might as well sneak one last 69 joke in when faced with certain death). They head inside and have their choice nitpicked to death by Bubblebath, who is keeping himself from utter loneliness by sending over some major coin to all his favorite camgirls online. It was then that they realized that Bubblebath IS that one character who fades in and out of obscurity, coming back time and time again for no good reason. They want to give him a damn good reason this time if he agrees to take them into obscurity. Bubblebath wants to know why they would even WANT to step foot into such a horrible place, perhaps foreshadowing imminent danger(!) They explain their current situation in disturbing detail and Bubblebath agrees to take them into obscurity. However, he asks for a favor in return, perhaps foreshadowing the next episode(!) Bubblebath opens up his mouth and explains that his personal back door into obscurity has been under his tongue the whole time. Years of on/off appearances ever since "Pickles" have all led up to this, folks. SpongeBob and Patrick make their way inside, burrowing down under Bubblebath's tongue until they disappear entirely. However, outside the sex shop, a figure is seen photographing the entire scene as it unfolds.

As this is going on, Skolliam has already made his way to Conch Street, where he summons forth his entourage of comrades in order to lead an incursion on Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick's houses. He makes sure to desecrate Skodwarde's humble commode, completely razing his Easter Island head temple to the ground. They proceed to invade Patrick's rock and SpongeBob's pineapple. Skolliam deploys a few members of his entourage to occupy the houses in order to establish Conch Street as a new communist state. Meanwhile in Skodwarde's garden, Bunny Wunny watches as this all unfolds, sensing a great disturbance in the force show's formula. 

As this is going on, Sandy crawls away from the wreckage of her god battle with Skolliam, defeated, but not dead yet. With her plot armor gone, she'll have to traverse the ocean floor without protection. She admits to herself that she'll require some much needed help. With this new resolve, she proceeds to make a bee line right for the Cum Bucket.

With all that rigmarole out of the way, we finally get to the fucking point of the actual episode with Skodwarde awakening to find himself in a whole new world. But without an Arabian prince to fly him through it on a magic carpet ride, Skodwarde uses his god powers to deduce that he is, in fact, in another dimension. It's strange and new to him, yet there's something familiar about it. The environment is completely whitened out. It's a place he could call home based on that alone, if he's being quite honest with himself and his nazi roots. His surroundings appear to be cruelly drawn concept art done on a used tissue paper of the Bikini Bottom he knows and loathes. However, he can't think of the last time that he's really taken notice of the Industrial Park. Was that always there? Shallow Grave Road? That's a name he hasn't heard in forever. Mt. Bikini Bottom? Holy shit, he was almost thrown in there that one time, wasn't he? Goofy Goober's Ass Cream Party Boat? Skodwarde could sense that the place was pretty integral to the plot at one point in time. 

Once I run out of places to callback to, Skodwarde makes his way over to Conch Street. Taking a peek inside Patrick's rock, he could see that it housed a cramped space consisting of only a recliner, tv and a bottle of lubricant. This was how his house was set up all the way back in season 1, before season 2's bigger budget allowed us to add more sand to the interior. Skodwarde darts over to SpongeBob's pineapple. It, too, was devoid of life, but this house had an insanely overstuffed trophy room commemorating all of his conquests (both sexual and otherwise) as well as a library full of all the erotica novels and skin mags known to man, and some known to fish. Skodwarde finds and picks up a library card that was just lying around. 

"This was put here for a purpose." he thought. 

So he uses it to check out the entire collection. Skodwarde comes across a pair of inflatable pants on the way out, which gave him the weirdest boner ever. However, it springs to life on its own and chases him the fuck out of the pineapple. Finally, Skodwarde anxiously makes his way over to his own house, but he finds that the only thing different is that his sweet ass elevator from Season 1's "Skodwarde the Unfriendly Ghost" is back. After he's done fondly reminiscing about all the bitches that that elevator helped him bag, he exits the head. But suddenly, his house also springs to life on its own just like in Season 4's "Jesus Christ, These Neighbors Are Fucking Terrible". That's right. SKODWARDE'S HOUSE IN THE HOUSE!! 


Realizing that this could be his atonement for such a terrible episode (which the Skodwarde version really wasn't, but for storyline purposes), Skodwarde proceeds to engage Skodwarde's House like it was some sort of secret boss in Mortal Kombat. The two prove to be evenly matched with Skodwarde in his basic form, but their fight is interrupted by the untimely arrival of the police officer who destroyed Skodwarde's House with nothing but brute strength in the "Jesus Christ, These Neighbors Are Fucking Terrible" (I'd really recommend to go back and read it cuz it's a good example of turning a bad ep good and you can appreciate this bit more, I guess). However, this time he has a replica of Skodwarde's phallic nose plastered on half-assed to his face. He goes about destroying Skodwarde's House once again. The officer demands to know who's responsible, but realizes that he's already looking at em. Skodwarde barely manages to escape apprehension with his life by threatening to live stream it on Facebook. Skodwarde wanders out into the wild white yonder, as the officer calls the incident in to his superior. Soaking all these recent events in like a sponge, Skodwarde uses his god powers to theorize that this place is where any and all of the show's scrapped characters, storylines, concepts and ideas go to linger on in obscurity for all eternity. Skodwarde senses a lone, faint flicker of the overarching story, the one thing separating what's important from what's scrap, in the distance. Could it be Krabs? He sets off to find out.

Elsewhere, SpongeBob and Patrick break on through, break on through, break on through to the other side, immediately running into Reg (the bouncer from Season 3's "No Prudes Allowed"), who is guarding the portal going both in and out. Oddly enough, he too has Skodwarde's phallic ass nose plastered half-assedly on his face.

"Welcome to the Scrapped Dimension. How slutty are ya?"

"Not this again." SpongeBob and Patrick both exclaim to themselves when Betty White (from Season 4's "Have You Seen This, Bitch?", and with the same half assed nose as the others) walks up to them from the other side, looking to gain entry back into canon.

"Welcome to the Main Continuity. How slutty are ya?"

"How slutty am I? HOW SLUTTY AM I?!" she questions with an agitated tone in her voice. "There's a gratuitous background cameo that needs filling and I'm on my way to Bubblebath's right now to offer him gratuitous amounts of hot, sweaty, wrinkly sex on a raft for it!"

She even goes the extra mile to show Reg all the empty shells of the snails she's raped for good measure.

"My apologies, ma'am! Right this way." he says as he nervously holds the portal open for her. She tears off her nose on the way out.

Reg says he should probably go do that too, so he heads off after her, leaving behind both his nose and the portal free for SpongeBob and Patrick to enter in. Once inside, they find themselves in some sorta scrapped version of Goo Lagoon, where Mussel Beach and the Valentines Day Carnival are both still a thing. Patrick sees the heart on stick and immediately feels compelled to see it die, so he goes off to kill it like the closet incel that he is. SpongeBob thinks its best to split up and cover more ground anyway, so he makes his way on over to Mussel Beach.

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I have guest write. 

224a. Weak Lemonade

It all begins with the proud presence of a 3 foot tall stand, made entirely from furnished pine wood, and the teeth of the homeless. Bold text is seen written on the top. “LEMON3DE”. Lemon3de being a symbolic metaphor for how the government are stealing our lollipops. Out of nowhere, a chair slides past to the stand, accompanied by a pink slab of chewed gum laughing mechanically by. The chair kept sliding, even when it passed the stand. The cameraman stood still cause he didn’t like the pink thing and it gave him the willies, but if he was to record what the glob was doing off-camera, we would see that he has not calculated the speeding distance that well, and has crashed body first into the local children’s hospital, setting it a blaze and leaving the smoky tasty smell of roasted children.

Moderate and wishing to stay on track, the pink waste had no time to pay attention to his accidental serial murder, he had a stand to run. His chair slid in the opposite way, now heading back towards the stand. This time fortunately, the pink stain had calculated the launch times perfectly, and was now in the correct position for where the stand was. It was time to begin, thought the pink crap. “LEMUNDA3E” screamed he certainly did. “LEMUNAD3E F1R SUUUUUAAAOOOL”. He might have screamed a bit too loud though cause he died upon saying that from fractured ears and fractured wanting to live. At that moment however, we see our star of the show, Skodwarde, burst outside the door, carrying the bags of his victims. He had a little bit of blood on his mouth, but he didn’t want to lick it off, as he has an image he needs to retain.

Skodwarde walked up to the stand, where the pink pink had now been rotted into nothing at all. There is a name for things like this, but for this story, we shall call it “Patrick”. Skodwarde looked up at the text on the stand. “LEMON3DE”. Skodwarde hated that word, because it sounded like “penis” and Skodwarde thinks they are gross. Disgusted, he opens up the body bag he was carrying and takes out the corpse of a young crying doctor person who had somehow survived the body bag because he had a PhD in living. Skodwarde positioned his grubby hands around the doctor’s neck and ripped it open like it was a present on Christmas morning. He took the head and threw it at Patrick. The excitement of getting a new hat, awoke Patrick from his dead, and Patrick was very happy to get the hat. Skodwarde walked back into his house cause now his hands were dirty and the clean hand inspector was paying him a visit today. Patrick takes the decapitated head off his head because it was feeling a bit cramped in there. Some of it’s blood poured into an empty glass that was conveniently there. Patrick was amazed by how the glass didn’t scream in agony upon being given the blood of a true patriot.

At that moment, Customer #1 walked by cause he wants a tasty snack before church. Patrick offered him a tasty glass of tasty stuff, which he accepted cause he was currently nibblin’ on Patrick’s eyes cause that was how hungry he was. Patrick couldn’t see anymore, but that wouldn’t stop him from not giving the customer the glass. He slaps the customer and he slaps him so hard, that all of the customer was now covering the entire of Bikini Bottom. “Another satisfied customer” thought Patrick. Upon hearing the sound of the beginning of a vast wonderland, Skodwarde runs outside smelling the environment, loving every second of it. What he didn’t love was that there was Rocky the rock sitting besides him and Skodwarde tripped over Rocky the rock, which Rocky didn’t mind cause he was in a pretty good mood today.

Skodwarde brutally slammed his nose on the stand, which caused a heap of some black juice to come out his nostrils. It covered the stand, but it got some inside the glass, which mixed well with the virgin blood and created a new type of delicious drink. Skodwarde walked back inside his house cause now his day was ruined and he’s gotta write up a plan to acid up the local library. Like a moth in the night, a yellow sponge telewalked to Patrick’s stand. He was telewalking, cause he needs to save his energy up for when he goes to the super shop. The yellow sponge took a  big big smell at the delicious juice that Patrick had served just from him. He raised his lips and took a teeny tiny teensly-winsy sip, and upon the contamination of such a fine beverage, the yellow sponge who goes by the name of SpongeBob, was now a born again Christian. He thanked Patrick for showing him to lights of the lord and went back home to start a twitter argument.

Patrick stopped to think, and realised if he were to sell this absolutely fantastic taste sensation, he could get enough money to afford a pardoned execution. Just the sound of it made Patrick’s mouth rise like a balloon. A balloon filled with custard and organs because yum. But if Patrick was to be serious about this, he’d need more ingredients. But there was no more dead corpses around, but plenty of Skodwarde. Patrick knocked on Skodwarde’s door, and the door knocked on him because it seemed fair that way. They kept knocking until Patrick had broken through the door, and the door had ripped straight into Patrick’s frontal skull. Skodwarde came down stairs cause he had enough of Patrick making lots of noise and now he can’t hear the sound of his kinky personality. Skodwarde opened the door and saw Patrick with his frontal skull showing, and thinking it was Halloween, took out a black metallic pump shotgun and blasted Patrick’s face until it was just a headless Patrick. Skodwarde then sneezed for no reason and his black juice went inside Patrick’s neck.

Now holding the gold, Patrick ran back to his stand and started selling his crap. He made lots of money and now he can afford that pardoned execution he’s been saving up for, but Patrick realised that he had to be more serious about this, more serious than ever before. So he skipped back to Skodwarde’s house and gave it a big ol’ hug. The hug was so powerful, it converted everything that was in Skodwarde’s house to become nice, even Skodwarde himself. He goes outside and gives a big hug to Patrick, thanking him for turning him from the evil person he was, to a very nice person now. But Patrick mistook his friendly attitude for paedophilia, and slapped him til he was with the roses. Patrick extracted all the black juice from Skodwarde and went on to be the richest person with a 50 year criminal history ever. Patrick got his dream pardoned execution, and Skodwarde just, continued to lie there, not moving, not even breathing.
It was later discovered about a month later that the black juice contained liquid bad and everyone who drank it turned into furries, but now things are just getting out of hand, let’s just say they all lived happily ever after until the next episode.

Moral of the Story: You suck.

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So here it is, the remaining two acts of my final solo Skodwarde episode. For those who probably don't want to read through the entirety of my madness and just get straight to the point, I edited in a much shortened summary of the entire episode in the initial post containing Act I. Hope those of you that decide to see the whole journey through will enjoy it! Worked on this baby for over a month, and it ain't even the finale! Will probs split them into separate posts to be safe.

Bad Times at The Scrapped Dimension: Act II


SpongeBob steps onto the beach like how he steps all over bitches. He sees the usual familiar faces like Don and Frank with their Skodwarde noses doing their whole bodybuilding thing. SpongeBob tries to see if he still doesn't have it in him, which he still does by tearing his pants again. But that joke is like 8 years old now, so nobody's amused. And speaking of ripped pants, SpongeBob sees his original pair of ripped pants (from Season 1's "Ripped Pants") stepping on the beach too, so he heads over to catch up with it. SpongeBob is overjoyed to see it again and wonders what it's been up to since their breakup. The Ripped Pants recounts how it tried getting more work in the spinoff industry following his initial appearance on Skodwarde, but the best he could do was a one-time appearance on "One-Time SpongeBob Characters: Where Are They Now?" There really isn't a demand for stories revolving around a pair of ripped pants. SpongeBob gets its hopes up by saying the Skodwarde franchise could be whoring itself out with spinoffs like SpongeBob is doing in real life, there's a chance it could get a spinoff yet. They share a good laugh over how ridiculous their break up was. SpongeBob forgives the Ripped Pants for its part in fucking up their act, saying that "we blew it".

"What do you mean we?" it asks, quite baffled.

Things slowly escalate into a heated argument between the two, with the Ripped Pants believing it was all SpongeBob's fault for running it into the ground since it was just a prop, and it did a damn good job at doing just that, propping up his "comedy" to make it look better than it really was. It even accuses SpongeBob of replacing it in the same episode when he sang with those "three other limp dicks". SpongeBob tells it off, saying

"You're a one-time gag that was never funny to begin with and you always will be!"

The Ripped Pants decides to leave before it does something drastic. Realizing he went a bit far, SpongeBob tries to console and make peace with it, but the Ripped Pants pulls out a switchblade and runs it across SpongeBob's neck. It's been wallowing away in obscurity for too long, but now it has a prime opportunity to shake the story up again...by killing SpongeBob. The nearby lifeguard watches this unfold with his half-assed dick-shaped nose and is all like

"Hey look, those ripped pants are cleaning a piece of cardboard off the beach!"

As the pants go for a fatal puncture wound, it fonds itself suddenly stopped from committing the deed by another familiar face.


Bubble Buddy returns again to save SpongeBob from Ripped Pants. Ripped Pants threatens to pop the bubble if he doesn't unhand him, and Bubble Buddy threatens to rip him another new one. They fight right there on the beach, with Bubble Buddy winning by blinding the pants with bubbly bubbles and then taking advantage of the opportunity to complete the rip and tear it in two. Bubble Buddy lets out a Godzilla-like roar in victory. SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy then spend some time reconnecting by trolling people at the port-a-potty and calling the Larry and his crew fat again just like old time- LARRY?!!?! SpongeBob puts up his guard and boxes the air, telling Larry that's he going to bang his ass for what he did to the show just a few episodes back. Larry tries to talk SpongeBob down, but he isn't having it and throws a couple of punches that breaks on contact with Larry's abs. SpongeBob then breaks his shin when he goes to roundhouse Larry in the neck. Larry assures him that everything that happened between them is water under the bridge. Larry admits that being scrapped was more of a blessing really. He gets to go back to basics and work out all day with no gym to worry about and overall no character development or lack thereof to fret over. Sure, a stronger character could lead to bigger and better stories, but not to point where it gets too blown up and convoluted. Then, it becomes a clusterfuck. People don't read Skodwarde for that shit. They just want cheap laughs and a story that gets to the point in a paragraph or less like the good old days, not a fucking goddamn James Patterson novel. SpongeBob sees this as a sign of real change since he last saw Larry. It seems like he's back to being more of the Hunka Hunka he once was before the weight and stress of the show ending came crashing down on him. 

Larry offers to make it up to SpongeBob by sponsoring him and Bubble Buddy into Craig Mammalton's sun bleached-only major rager on the beach, but SpongeBob unfortunately has to decline since this is still supposed to be based on Doodle Dimension. He asks Larry where he might've dropped Krabs off at, but Larry can't quite make out a specific location precisely since he doesn't know his own strength. He suggests that they should probably check out the fucking obvious, which is the Krusty Krab.

Meanwhile at the Valentines Day Carnival, Patrick is hard at work trying to upheave the heart on stick from the ground when the Heart Man arrives to inject his day with an extra dose of love. Patrick defies him, claiming that he sits on a stick of lies because Patrick's never felt true love before, so now he's gonna make sure everyone else is just as miserable as he is. He finally tears the heart on stick out of the boardwalk and runs roughshod through the entire carnival with it in hand, because never once thought that the carnival would ever come back since Valentines Day episodes are usually one and done.

"Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low."

Patrick turns around to find out that it's none other than Scarlett Johansson, with the very same phallic nose as most everyone else in the Scrapped Dimension, from the very first Skodwarde Movie! Patrick immediately asks just who she's supposed to be, to which she responds by flashing him her tits, which causes the little Patrick in his pants to run all the way up to his noggin and literally jogs his memory. 


Seeing the woman who made a man out of him in more ways than one for the first time in SEVEN FUCKING YEARS ALREADY brings the big, pink loser great joy and an even greater boner. His first genuine one in a very long time. He throws aside the heart of stick and rushes on over to have at her like John K with some zany ass Ren & Stimpy-style animation to go with it when suddenly, another voice calls out to him.

"Patrick, let your common sense be your guide."

Patrick looks around, even more confused than he naturally is, but he sees nothing.

"Why, down here, you ignoramus! I-I mean...Hi!"

Patrick looks towards his shoulder to see Plankton in a blue top hat and a rather dapper looking suit.

"Jiminy Plankton's the name!"

And then Jiminy Plankton explains that he was originally intended to be in the actual payoff episode for the ending of "The Trouble with Dildos". However, it got cut from the season order as production went on, so now here we are. Jiminy goes on to further that he was supposed to play the role of Patrick's long lost common sense, so that Patrick's story arc would end with him finally stepping up and becoming a character that's actually likable and relatable instead being sent off all old and tired out. He laments that there might just be hope for Patrick yet now that they finally have the chance to right that wrong. Patrick's common sense tells him to have Scarlett Johansson sit on his face because who wouldn't. Jiminy can agree with that sentiment, so he ultimately gives Patrick his blessing to let Scarlett Johansson sit on his face. And then we're treated to a warm embrace and an even warmer reunion between two star crossed characters who have been kept apart thanks to the writers who let such a refreshing idea be scrapped as quickly as it came. It's even accompanied by a slightly remixed version of "Put Your Head on My Should" by Paul Anka as any fans of "The Secret Box" blows their loads in response to such a reference to such a dated and best forgotten spinoff.


"Put your ass on my faaa-aaaace
Hold me in your cheeks, baby
Squeeze me oh so tight
Show me that you love me too

Put your ass next to my mouth, dear
Could I kiss it once, baby
Just a kiss goodnight, maybe
You and I will fall in love
(You and I will fall in love)

People say that love's a game
A game you just can't win
If there's a way
I'll find it someday
And then this fool will rush in

Put your ass on my faaa-aaaace
Pass gas in my ear, baby
Farts I want to hear
Tell me, tell me that you love me too
(Tell me that you love me too)

Put your head on my faaa-aaaace
Pass gas in my ear, baby
Farts I want to hear, baby
Put your ass on my faaa-aaaace!"

As Patrick was having at Scarlett Johansson's ass while Jiminy, some random dude began taking pictures of them in action.

"No pictures please." Patrick and Scarlett Johansson both irritatedly belt out as she had to momentarily lift her ass from his face.

The man introduces himself as Lube and he goes to shake their hands, rubbing off some of the lube he had on his hand onto theirs. Lube goes into how he was originally intended for an episode where Patrick would take him around town, if you catch my drift. He saw that Patrick is a bit new to this place, so he thought he'd return the hypothetical favor by offering to take him around, if you catch his drift.

"Boy, would I!" delightfully accepts his invitation. Scarlett Johansson, feeling a bit cock blocked, reluctantly goes along with it along with Jiminy, who is seething because common sense should tell Patrick that an entire episode of Scarlett Johansson sitting on his face is better than the shit that's to come of this. Lube takes them onto the beach at Goo Lagoon and he sneaks in plenty of creepy shots of every beach goer he sees so that he can masturbate to them later. They eventually run into SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy just as they were about to leave for the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is overjoyed and slightly aroused to see Scarlett Johansson again because who wouldn't. The other two Patrick is with are completenboner killers tho. Patrick introduces Lube and his common sense, but SpongeBob is still "not feeling" and asks Patrick to try introducing them to him later to see if that makes a difference. SpongeBob asks Patrick that he remembers Bubble Buddy, right. And Patrick's all like

"Nope! :) "

They all get caught up to speed, more or less, and they all plan to make their way to the Krusty Krab when Jiminy chimes in

"Say, fellas, shouldn't common sense tell you that this is a prime opportunity to right a wrong from both your pasts? I want you two to think real hard now!"

They do just that and just like that, common sense tells them that should redo Season 6's "Sand Wars" but this time, actually reference sand people. When jjs said that that episode was wasted potential, boy was he fucking right. A Star Wars parody at the beach without a single mention of sand people. That one's been bothering me for years, but now, if Scrapped Dimension is to be remembered for anything, it should definitely be this. I tell you hwat.

Back in the main continuity dimension, Sandy crawls to Plankton's doorstep and knocks on the door to his establishment. Karen answers to see that her now best friend is looking like a skinned boot. Or whatever the fuck Sandy would say. She gives Sandy sanctuary in Plankton's laboratory, where she puts Planton's gadgets and gizmos to much better use by using them to save lives rather than to steal a goddamn burger recipe. Plankton waltzes in all like

"Karen! What did I say about using my gadgets and gizmos to do something productive?! I oughtta cheat on you by using you to online date!"

Karen shows him why she wears the pants real fast and gets him to comply with helping resuscitate the best friend she one-sidedly just made. Her scans indicate that Sandy needs to be stimulated sexually, so grabs Sandy's hand and makes her finger her hard drive. Plankton corrects that she needs to be the one stimulating her. Karen is well aware of that and states that was mostly just for herself. She proceeds to fondle Sandy's nuts, which is more than enough to sexually stimulate the land squirrel back into consciousness.

Sandy catches them up to speed on their current situation. She explains that she feels as if any god power she had is now gone after what Skolliam did to her. She never felt more powerless, more useless as a character until that moment. 

"I couldn't lead an interesting plot in "Skodwarde Testicles vs The D", let alone any other episode I starred in, and I sure as my virginity can't lead one now, y'all."

Karen tries to console her, saying that Sandy is the best friend she's ever had for the last five minutes. Plankton, however, is still hung up on somebody actually having the fucking balls to muscle in on his territory and fuck up Krabs before he had to chance to. He's being driven near to the point of tears, it's fucking with him that bad. Karen decides that now would be a good time to finally "get shit out there", especially being this close to the show's end. She admits that she knows Plankton has feelings for Krabs that transcends beyond just their rivalry. Plankton her absurd proposition to be completely idiotic. However, Sandy corroborates this with scientific evidence that proves Plankton is indeed gay for Mr. Krabs. Practically all of Plankton's episodes revolves around Eugene, it's as if Sheldon's attracted to him in more ways than just one.

"He's like the piece of shit to your fly, Plankton" Sandy scientifically theorizes.

Sandy brings up the Season 6 episode "Cum Caverns (or 50 Shades of Sheldon)"as a prime example. I mean, they fought each other to be on the bottom in that one.If that's not gay, I don't know what is. Karen also brings up the Krabs voice modulator that he had installed in her for when Plankton wants her to talk dirty to him during sex. Plankton tries covering it up, saying

"That one was a gift!"

Sandy brings up how that's exactly what Krabs said in Season 2's "Life of Crime".

"In fact, didn't you let Krabs borrow your vibrator in that episode too?"

"Your "Plan Z" folder was literally just a centerfold of Krabs," Karen reveals.


"You used his frozen body as a sex doll later in the movie too, y'all."  

Plankton couldn't even begin to disprove these claims and finally cracks under the pressure, admitting that, yes, he is quite gay for Krabs. Karen and Sandy "d'awww" him but he wants none of it. They shouldn't dare "d'awww" him. Plankton thought that plans for that relationship got scrapped. It's eaten away at him for years, being stuck in the same Krusty Krab episodes with no logical, happy ending for either of them in sight. But now, they can't even have a bad ending together now that man he loves has also been scrapped. Sandy reminds him that there's hope they can still get him back, but only if they're willing to help her. Karen quickly jumps at the chance to have a happy ending with Sandy. Plankton, however, isn't quite sold on it. Sandy reminds him just what exactly does he have to lose. And upon realizing he's got jack shit, he reluctantly agrees to work as a tyeam.

Meanwhile, watching this all unfold in the surface world were Patchy and Potty, who were none too amused by the perceived leftist propaganda that this scene reeked of. They are dangerously close to wanting to tune out of Skodwarde for good.

Back in the new communist state of Conch Street, the entirety of the squid nazi cult from Season 6's "Skoduminati", the actual nazis from "Dear Nazis", as well as the nazis who attended "The Skodwarde Movie" premiere in the movie's intro scene (who each had to do Bubblebath 2x4 animal style and make him cry in order to be given this chance to come back and fight for their god and political ideals) all come together as a united front. They plan to launch a joint counterattack on the communist entourage, not amused at the sacrilege Skolliam has committed against their god. Clad in black shirts to signalize their allegiance to the fascist party, they begin praying to Skodwarde for his divine protection before going in. They announce their arrival (first mistake) before picking off a good portion of the occupying communists with help from the cult's eel that they use for their initiation ceremonies. They turn their attention towards Skolliam (final mistake), who easily reduces them all to dust with a flick of his tentacle. They're more than just OBSOLETE, they're all like DEAD dead now.

Suddenly, a member of Skolliam's entourage hands him over some crucial intel they received from their agent on the field, a folder containing photographs of SpongeBob and Patrick entering the portal to the Scrapped Dimension underneath Bubblebath's tongue. Skolliam sets off to deal with it personally. Bunny Wunny sees this happen and refuses to stand idly by any longer. Bunny Wunny makes his presence known by leveling the statue that was just erected in Skolliam's honor. Skolliam finds it WOOONDERFUL that Bunny Wunny has finally decided to crawl out of his hole so that he too may be classified as OBSOLETE. Bunny Wunny comes out of the gate, evolving to his Trix Bunny and then Big Wungus forms. When those prove fruitless, he finally mega evolves into his most powerful form, Skodwarde Bunny Wunny. Skolliam merely laughs it off, remarking that Bunny Wunny just gave himself a death sentence.

Bubblebath is in his mother's basement, giving tongue to both Betty White and Reg...on a raft, when suddenly


Bubblebath's pull out game is shown to be on point as he quickly puts a stop to whatever that raft was being put through and grovels on the floor begging for leniency, lying that the scallop porn belonged to his mother. The entire house gets forcefully upheaved from the ground, revealing nothing but the basement down below. Skolliam descends down into basement from above, having froze the FBI agents that were about to raid Bubblebath's house in place. Skolliam uses his god powers to painfully shove both Betty White and Reg back under Bubblebath's tongue, then he offers Bubblebath a deal; his portal in exchange for getting the pesky FBI off his bubble ass. Seeing as how the portal is his only source of income, sex life and sense of purpose, Bubblebath says he would rather take his chances with the FBI, thank you very much. Skolliam sweetens the deal by offering have an entire episode made dedicated to him finally moving out from his mother's basement. Bubblebath never had an episode dedicated entirely to himself before, and with the show ending, an opportunity like that is either now or never. And the portal will be of no use to him once the show ends, so he agrees to surrender the portal to Skolliam. Skolliam proceeds to extract it from Bubblebath's mouth, deletes the OBSOLETE FBI and destroys the last known portal to obscurity in the palm of his suction cups. He takes his leave, but not before gifting Bubblebath with his own daytime talk show and a lifetime supply of scallop porn for being such a trooper. Bubblebath uses his new platform to welcome his new communist overlord.

Back in the Scrapped Dimension, Skodwarde is seen following the flicker of plot to its source. His trek takes him beyond the city limits and into somewhat familiar territory for him. He comes across the gas station that belonged to those two white nationalist hillbillies in the first movie, but finds their rotting corpses, as well as the corpses of their family and Hillbilly Handfishing television crew. Skodwarde discards his cigarette butt onto their bodies and presses on. He eventually finds himself at the Push & Tug (also from the first movie!). The place is full of skinheads who are completely anal about using lube when masturbating for some odd reason. Yeah idk wtf I was thinking writing that either. Well, at least the place WAS full of skinheads, as it's now evident that they've been long since dead too. Skodwarde has a nice lube-free jerkoff session to the confederate flag out of respect for the fallen, before heading off once more to find where the plot is supposed to be going.

His search brings him near that trench full of monsters, however a character stood in his path. Skodwarde senses that this character is the source of the plot that he's been following.


"Hello god, it's me, Alec."

Alec Baldwin, one of the main antagonists of the first Skodwarde movie, steps forth to oppose Skodwarde. Alec questions why he was never brought back to the show in any capacity despite having the door left open for a return, albeit a rather half-assedly written door, but a door nonetheless. Was it because Skodwarde feared him as the only being capable of truly slaying a god? Skodwarde doesn't watch SNL, so the identity of whoever this man is was beyond even him. Alec reveals that he's been waiting a long time for this moment, which felt even longer because Words with Friend lost its luster around the time the first movie came out.

"Sad to see that you haven't done much of anything since then." Skodwarde scathingly implies about Baldwin's career.

Baldwin swallows his pride that perhaps The Boss Baby is better left forgotten before retracting his god-killing cleats. Skodwarde tries to deflect him with his god powers, but finds that they do not effect him. Baldwin reveals that he hunted down and massacred an entire family of Skodbillies, abominations that Skodwarde himself brought into this world, in the years since his last appearance. He ground up the remains to their basic form, Skodwarde's jizz, and by guzzling it all down, he has made himself immune to Skodwarde's god powers. Skodwarde remarks that's some "Supernatural shit right there." And Alec replies that becoming a cum dumpster was all worth it for this. 

Alec goes back on the attack in a much more even matchup. He manages to scratch Skodwarde up some with his cleats, actually drawing blood from the god. Phase two of this boss battle initiates when Alec Baldwin brings in another familiar face from the first movie, Bigger Booty (with Jennifer Lopez reprising her role as the Cyclops stand-in. Yeah, idk wtf Wumbo was thinking back then either), who comes stomping in booty shakin, immediately putting Skodwarde even more on the defensive. Alec comes jumping off of Bigger Booty, looking to curb stomp Skodwarde with some death from above, the squid nazi manages to dodge roll out of dodge before he could get killed on impact. The ground breaks beneath Baldwin as Skodwarde launches a counterattack, which gets blocked by Bigger Booty's appropriately large ass. Phase 3 of the boss battle initiates when David Hasselhoff arrives to even the odds. 

Skodwarde catches up some with The Hoff, who is feeling a bit dejected for not being invited back for the sequel, but is still more than happy to help out Skodwarde again regardless. He reveals that he did manage to bring Baywatch back in 2017 and quite frankly, it sucked. But hey, at least Wumbo predicted it would happen five years before it did! Hasselhoff keeps Bigger Booty busy in a kaiju-esque battle, leaving Skodwarde free to focus on Alec Baldwin. A-Bald decides to bust out his ace in the hole.

He has Bigger Booty bring out little Billy Lou Testicles, Skodwarde's illegitimate son from Season 9's "Skodwarde ShlongPants". This move stops Skodwarde dead in his tracks. He even tears up a bit before demanding Baldwin to leave him out of this. Baldwin reveals that he kept Billy Lou alive because, unlike the Skodbillies, Skodwarde actually cared about him. He cared about him enough to spare him from the fucking that Flats the Butt Pounder had in store for them. Skodwarde hesitates making another move before eventually relenting. Alec promises Skodwarde that his son won't be left alone for long, for he intends on killing him once he's done settling the score with the one who got away. Baldwin takes removes the god-killing blade that he keeps on his necklace, throwing it Skodwarde, who ends up using his god powers to stop it in midair. He then redirects it back, stabbing Baldwin right in the eye. Skodwarde activates his Nazi Rage, frees Billy Lou from his grasp and strikes back at a stunned Alec Baldwin with all his self righteous fury. Hasselhoff and Bigger Booty eventually call for a truce, heading off to bring back Baywatch a second time with J.Lo as the star. Baldwin still puts up a fight despite the knife in his eye. Baldwin eventually drops Skodwarde with multiple low blows and looks to curb stomp his head in with his cleats. Before he can commit the deed, Billy Lou finally taps into and lets out a furious burst of the god powers that he was given at birth, using it to freeze Alec Baldwin in place with his boot still hoisted up for the stomp. Skodwarde uses this opportunity to yank the knife out of Baldwin's socket and guts him like a pig. Blood, guts and Skodwarde's cum gushes out from the open wound and onto the ground.

"Still think guzzling my cum was worth it now?"

Baldwin laments that this isn't how he pictured his story to end before wishing a fate far worse onto Skodwarde. Billy Lou uses his god powers to heal Baldwin's wounds, shocking both of them. Baldwin makes one last ditch effort to land a killing blow on Skodwarde, Billy Lou intervenes by using his god powers to roll Baldwin up into a ball of broken bones and flesh. Skodwarde implores Billy to step, saying that it's enough, but Billy refuses until Baldwin finally goes dead silent. Billy reveals to Skodwarde that Alec killed his mother as soon as they got to the Scrapped Dimension. Skodwarde tries to console his son, but to no avail. Billy Lou storms off, beyond pissed at his father for what he did to him and his mother. Skodwarde sends Alec Baldwin off by rolling his body into the monster trench below.

We return back to SpongeBob, Patrick, Bubble Buddy, Larry, Scarlett Johansson, Jiminy Plankton and Lube for a bit of catharsis cuz we sure as hell need it after all that heavy shit. SpongeBob asks Scarlett Johansson a very important question

"So what the fuck's up with the whole Triton thing?"

"Same mom, different dads."

"How the fuck does that work, isn't he the same guy?"

"No, two completely different dudes, actually."

"So same mother, huh?"

"Surrogate mother, technically."

"The fuck?"

"They're gay."

"Wow. That makes so much sense now!"

Patchy and Potty are shown watching this at home, looking very disapproving of that creative decision that further pushes the liberal agenda.


Patchy decides to stop logging into the Skodwarde Community from here on out. He then demands that Potty lay a fish on his dick. Potty lays an egg and places it on Patchy's dick, giving it a couple days for it to hatch.

SpongeBob and co. finally arrive at the Scrapped Krusty Krab, but they come to realize a few differences. For starters, an entirely new crew is working both the counter and grill and they are serving customers who all hail from Rock Bottom. Other differences include the Krusty Krab Pizza, Spongy Patty and Krusty Dog still being on the menu along with an entirely new item known as Krabby Soup as well a Krabby Patty with a "brand spanking new zombifying formula" that turns out to, once again, be bath salts. The SpongeBob train from Season 5's "Krusty Sponge" is still  in operation with the honorable Judge Horace A. Whopper still presiding and riding in it, the Krusty Hostel is real and in operation, there's a debilitating mustard shortage and the grill is currently being stolen by the prepubescent mafia. SpongeBob checks out the neat set up somebody has going for themselves on the roof of the restaurant, but starts freaking out and having an orgasm when finds that he can't get back down. Needless to say, they all come to realize why a lot of this season never got to see the light of day.

Scarlett asks the waitress at the counter, who looks like a weird mix between Lady Skoga and Scarlett herself, just what the fuck the deal is. The waitress explains that she's apart of the Krusty Krab's night crew, dedicated entirely to serving Rock Bottom's deep sea denizens. SpongeBob states that he's worked nights many times before and no Rock Bottom asswipes (he still remembers the cunt who stole his candy bar, who was also the same cunt who worked at the bus station and trolled him with the last minute bus arrival and also left him out to dry in advanced darkness) came in to work or eat then. And that's exactly why the idea got scrapped in the first place. Lube takes some creepy upskirt shots of her before doing the same to every other Rock Bottomite in the restaurant. SpongeBob sees angler fish who helped him return home by inventing balloon travel from the original Rock Bottom episode in Season 1 and goes up to properly thank him for his act of kindness. The angler fish becomes offended by SpongeBob's use of the stereotypical regional dialect again so he officially decides that he no longer wants to associate himself with this bigot, regretting having ever helped him in the first place.

SpongeBob consults the fry cook on duty, only to find out that the food is being prepared by a handpuppet version of himself.. SpongeBob can't help but feel mysteriously drawn to it, taking it in hand and using it to simulate fellatio, but he's the one doing the sucking. Figure that one out for yourselves. Patrick finds a moldy old patty snarling in a cage. Although it appears rabid, his common sense tells him to eat it anyway, so he does. Patrick soon finds himself tripping balls over the tainted patty, even hallucinating a giant talking horny hamster by the name of Cuddle E. Rape, who explains that the E stands for "Eat Out". He tries lulling Patrick into a false sense of security with some cuddling before eating him out and then ultimately raping the starfish. Cuddle E. then threatens to kill Patrick with a sharp metal object if he doesn't pass the tainted patty to the left hand side for everyone else to get raped. No wonder why this didn't get made. Let's not bring this shit up again. Patrick, in his hallucinogenic stupor, catches sight of Skodwarde walking off in the distance. Jiminy implores Patrick to inform the others in order to move the plot along, and he finally does so after having a threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Jeff Garlin in the patty vault, which even Jiminy Plankton has to admit is just common sense. Except maybe the part about Jeff Garlin. Okay I take that back.

At SpongeBob's scrapped house, Larry comments negatively on SpongeBob's home gym set up as well as his stuffed animal workout regimen. ChefBob tells Larry to shove it up his ass and Larry is compelled to do just that, shoving all the barbells and stuffed animals up in there. Common sense tells Patrick that the way SpongeBob is acting with ChefBob is eerily similar to Season 4's "Skod Wood". SpongeBob comes across his long lost conch signal (AS SEEN IN "MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY II"'), realizing just how long it's been since he's last seen Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in action. He blows on it one time, but it seems as if his call won't be answered. In the mostly emptied out library, SpongeBob comes across the book containing DoodleBob's prison.

"Why don't I remember ever getting this?" 

He tosses it aside without a single fuck to give (as DoodleBob fans everywhere cry foul over the dick move), but ChefBob isn't quite finish with it yet. SpongeBob struggles for control, but ChefBob shows his true colors when he causes Lube to jizz razor blades while he was in SpongeBob's bathroom jerking off to the hundreds of pics he's taken so far in a show of power, god power. Bubble Buddy tells SpongeBob to remove the puppet now, but SpongeBob can't. Larry remarks that he should've hit the plush weights more. ChefBob slowly becomes his own character more and more, seemingly siphoning power and life away from SpongeBob. ChefBob finally becomes Chefbab, a sort of "spinoff" of Spengbab, cosmically speaking. Chefbab really starts to ramp up, forcing Scarlett Johansson, Larry and Bubble Buddy into action. Bubble Buddy clashes his bubble beam with Chefbab's imagination rainbow ray. Larry channels some of the power he has left from his scrapped run as the main character to hold SpongeBob in place. Scarlett Johansson flashes Chefbab her boobs, distracting him just enough for Bubble Buddy to win the beam struggle. Larry beats up SpongeBob some, though he's not quite sure if that's helping or not. He anchor tosses SpongeBob into towards Bubble Buddy, but Chefbab springs back to life to  attack Bubble Buddy mid-flight, but Bubble Buddy manages to halt him by grabbing SpongeBob by the wrist.


Bubble Buddy holds Chefbab in place, prompting SpongeBob to spring to life to try and pop him. Larry pounces in to restrain SpongeBob before he could make his move. Scarlett Johansson tries to distract Chefbab with her boobs for as long as she can. Lube is already back to using up his entire camera roll on her. She yells at Patrick to get the fuck off his fat ass and do something. But he's hesitant because nobody knows his history of fucking up more than he does. He's done nothing longer than anyone else for a reason. Scarlett reminds him what the entire point of the first Skodwarde movie was about. She gets pretty emotional, saying how it killed her having to fade into obscurity despite having so much mileage left ahead of her, ahead of them both. Hell, if that was the case, they should've just killed her off so that she could've at least had some closure. But, if anything, she hoped that she left her mark on Patrick, that he carried her lessons with him throughout the rest of the show. 

Patrick breaks down, knowing damn well that he hasn't carried her memory on with him. In fact, he went out of his way to be the exact fucking opposite of what she taught him to be. The only thing that's changed is just how low his IQ's gotten since then. "Salsa Fillercus" was right, he IS too dumb to live. He really is a big pink loser, but worse yet, he's a prick. Because he forgot the girl who invested in him the most. And now when she needs him the most, he'll more than likely fuck her and everyone else over again, because that's all he's good for anymore. Scarlett tells him that he's achieved things before and he's achieved things even now. She never lost hope that he would find her and he went on to do just that. Patrick says that technically speaking, she saw him first. She then orders him to "just take the fucking puppet off. It's nowhere near as hard as you're making it."

That proves to be a good enough kick in the ass to make Patrick finally do something useful for once, but Chefbab uses his god powers to make Patrick hear another voice call out to him

"Hey Patrick!"

Patrick turns to see Cuddle E. Rape behind him.

"Pathulu eats out krabby patty. Then eats out your soul!"

Cuddle E. reveals himself to be much more than a mere acid-induced hallucination as he transforms into Pathulu, who then proceeds to eat out Patrick's soul. Patrick enters a catatonic state, leaving the others to wonder wtf is going on. Finally seeing that Patrick might have a point, Scarlett Johansson questions their relationship before telling Lube to remove Chefbab instead. Lube says he would, but

"Sadly I am only an eel."

He  reveals his true eel form and then disappears entirely. Scarlett is forced to take a calculated risk. She puts her top back on and rushes Chefbab herself. Chefbab shakes off the affects her boobs had on him enough to put up a struggle. SpongeBob pleads with her not to, saying that this is the best version of himself that he's been in years. This is the character that he needs to become if they want to stand a chance against Skolliam. Scarlett Johansson tells him that he is capable of being even greater. She ultimately manages to remove the puppet from SpongeBob's hand and tosses it across the room. SpongeBob desperately tries to reunite with it, but Larry and Bubble Buddy and more than enough to hold him down. Scarlett Johansson flashes SpongeBob her boobs in an attempt to calm him down, which it succeeds in doing. As Bubble Buddy helps SpongeBob finally come to his senses and Scarlett checks on a still catatonic Patrick, Chefbab is seen placing a hand over a familiar doodle.. Larry is the first to notice, but he's too late. The house begins to tremble violently before being enveloped in a blinding white light.

Back in the main continuity dimension, Sandy tries getting into contact with the French Narrator, but he isn't answering her calls again. With that being a bust, she decides to go over how she was able to achieve inter-dimensional travel with Plankton and Karen. Plankton laughs his ass off at this, saying he figured out inter-dimensional travel all the way fucking back in like season 3 with the press of a button. If anybody's the Rick Sanchez in this motherfucker, it's him. He recounts the events of "The Algae's Always Greener" in disturbing detail, as well as the years worth of therapy that he needed following those events. Sandy asks to see the device he used. She examines it and deems it to be an outdated piece of shit for still running on pOS 8. However, they don't have time to update it (which is hard to believe considering the long ass runtime so far) so it'll have to do. However, only one of them can make the jump since it was made with only one subject in mind. Karen says she's a computer, not a miracle worker, so she leaves them to compare dicks for it. Since Sandy is indeed a girl and therefore has a vagina, Plankton's microscopic dick manages to pull off the upset. He straps the device on and, after collecting another sample of Krabs' cum from his Cashina suit, makes the fateful jump into the Scrap Dimension by himself. Karen then helps Sandy realize that they probably should've did the update because how is he gonna retrieve the others if the device can only transport one of them.

"Well fuck me faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August, y'all."

"Well, if you want me to, hon."

Karen proceeds to do just that right as Scott arrives in his Bite Squad pedicab to pick up some cumbalaya to deliver to Roger Ebert (RIP) from Season 6's "Plankton's #1 Fan". He sees everything that's going on, collects the cumbalaya and just leaves nonchalantly.

"I'm too one note for this shit."

Back in the Scrapped Dimension, Billy Lou is still keeping his distance from his father, Skodwarde. Skodwarde wants to talk things over, but Billy Lou uses his god powers to stuff Skodwarde's mouth with a dick every time he tries opening it. The awkward dick-induced silence is broken when Skodwarde recognizes a certain green fish from Season 10's "Skodwarde: Civil War" blending in in the distance. Skodwarde pulls the green fish towards him

"Didn't think I'd notice you THIS TIME, huh?!"

The green fish tries playing dumb at first, until Skodwarde threats to have his son use his god powers to fill him full of dicks instead. The green fish finally drops the act and asks how Skodwarde figured it out. Skodwarde explains that when the narrator narrates just how much you stick out from the rest of the background characters every time you're onscreen, it gets pretty fucking obvious. And seeing as how his green ass is in the Scrapped Dimension, Skodwarde finally wants to know just what he was originally intended for. The green fish explains that he was originally written to be a member of Skolliam's entourage, an agent, if you will. And by blending into the background seamlessly, he would spy on Skodwarde and the others, collect vital intel for the coming war between the gods. However, after the events of "Skodwarde: Civil War", he reveals that he got scrapped because the idea of him being the spy lacked "emotional attachment", something that Skolliam wanted to exploit. Skodwarde tells him that Skolliam still found out about their plan to use Sandy's Dimension Hopper Pants despite his efforts to hide the fact. Soaking it all in, Skodwarde finally asks

"Just who is the spy now?"

Scott is then shown pulling up to the new communist state of Conch Street. He enters Skolliam's inner circle and delivers the cumbalaya to Plankton's regular, who is revealed to be a communist member of the entourage. Scott then hands Skolliam over the intel he gathered at The Cum Bucket. Scott drops the facade as Skolliam commends comrade Harold "Bill" Reginald for a job well done.

"Many COMMENDASHEENS, Comrade Harold, for a job executed most excellently! Your mastery of the photographic mechanism of still image moment capturing is simply WOOOOOOOOONDERFUL! Comrade G of the kelpy variety, if you could please lead us in the national anthem of the recently conquered communist state of Conch Street!"

Kelpy G leads them all in the smooth jazz version of Conch Street's new national anthem.

Kelpy G: I'll fade away and classify myself as obsolete


Skolliam: I'll FADe away AND CLASssifY MYSelf aS OOOOOOBSOLETEEEeeeeeee!

Harold: obsoleeeete

Zeus the Guitar Lord provides some guitar riffs to go with all that smooth jazz.

Zeus the Guitar Lord: I'll fade away and classify my mom as a bitch!

Sea Bear: *bear growls* (OBSOLETE!)

Skolliam: Lord Zeus, your mastery of the six strings of electricity is absolutely INTOXICATING! Please, Ensemble of Harmonizing Adolescents, TAKE IT AWAY!

Choir Boys: I'll fade away and classify myself as obsoleeeete!

Their harmonizing causes Skolliam to climax prematurely.

"Ensemble of Harmonizing Adolescents, your music has just created a very orgasmic PREMONEESHEN! The very first battle of The Great War will not take place in the Lowermost Beach Apparel of Females, it will take place THERE in The Dimensional Plane of Redacted Constructs, the sacred land of deletion. And it all begins with a demon, who trespasses upon the obsolete concept of this very property. Those OBSOLETE mules must not leave The Dimensional Plane of Redacted Constructs. It must remain their tomb FOREVAH! Comrade Lord Zeus, Comrade Bear, my woken brilliance and Comrade Harold are required to scour The Lowermost Beach Apparel of Females today. I need you to stay back! I need you and Comrade Bear to protect the grounds from incursion! And even more paramount, I need you to protect The Ensemble of Harmonizing Adolescents and G of the Kelpy Variety with your lives!"

"Is there a new guitar in it for me?" Zeus asks.

"*bear growls* (YES, COMRADE!)"

 "Yo, Skolliam." Kelpy G interjects, holding up a clarinet with a built-in dildo in place of the mouthpiece. "I think it's all g here, my man!"

"AaaaaahhhhAAAAaahhhhhHHHHH" Skolliam replies with a wide ass grin.

Skodwarde is seething, boiling like a steamed vegetable (only godlier) at this betrayal of trust. He reaches his breaking point, enough to turn himself into a bunny now! Bunny Skodwarde comes dangerously close to using his god powers to do something unspeakable to the green fish. But with the young, impressionable Billy Lou watching on, Bunny Skodwarde has to force himself to spare the green fish his wrath. However, Billy Lou steps in to punish the green fish himself. Bunny Skodwarde intervenes this time around, barely stopping his son from taking another life. Bunny Skodwarde then uses his god powers to teleport the green fish away to relative safety. Billy Lou finds this act of mercy to be incredibly uncharacteristic of his father. Bunny Skodwarde reverts back into regular Skodwarde and informs his son that he thinks he's finally getting hit with some long overdue character development.

"If only it hit you sooner."

Billy Lou scornfully mutters. Skodwarde has had enough of that sass, young man. He is his father, skoddammit, if he can't get respect, he should at least be given some time to explain himself, to explain everything , to his son. Billy Lou considers his options and decides not to waste his time on Skodwarde. Skodwarde uses his god powers to demand an answer as to why his son is so mad at him. Billy Lou cancels out Skodwarde's god powers, but decides to tell him anyway.

Back in season 9, Skodwarde chose to scrap both him and his mother rather than just doing responsible thing; being a good husband and father to them. Skodwarde explains that he did it for their own good.

"A butt fucker was out there threatening both me and my show! I didn't want to see either of you be subjected to such a fate! You were new, both full of potential storyline-wise. And if that was gonna be your payoff, then I'd rather see your tenures end by own hand! Under my control, no one else's! It made the most sense then. There would be no pain, no sorrow, no emotional attachment...not much, at least. It was all I could do."

"Really? Well look at you now. Whether or not the show got fucked is up for debate, but you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself. Not even so much as slight discomfort when walking or sitting down. You could've done more. Hell, I'd say you did more. We just never figured into your plans."

"Stopping the butt pounder wasn't a guaranteed thing, son."

"Don't you dare call me 'son'. I had faith in you when mother didn't! I undergone that paternity because something in me said that that miserable-looking mofo in serious need of Estée Lauder or maybe some Proactiv was my father! And all that belief got me was some deadbeat asswipe who couldn't even put in at least some effort. Who didn't even bother to try!"

"We only got by because my dumbass neighbor saved all of us! I never counted on us to win! My attempts to stretch things out did nothing for us in the long run. Everything I did was a calculated risk, just me throwing shit at the wall, hoping and praying that one of them would stick. But it was a risk that I was willing to take for the show because even if things did get fucked in the end, then hey, that would've meant I could join you wherever you were. Unfortunately, I didn't know at the time just where exactly that would be. If I had known that this was what awaited you, I would've never forced it on you . Really I wouldn't. Billy Lou, I can't even begin to tell you just how sorry I am.  I really, honestly, truly am. I've done plenty of terrible, messed up things on this show, and some of them for the sake of it. And most of them was for lulz. Things I never said I was sorry for, not even once. Things I never bothered taking back. I've fucked with people's lives, ruined about countless others. I have all this power, yet nothing to show for any of it. If you don't want anything to do with me, then so be it. I wouldn't blame you. And I obviously can't do anything in my power to change that. But this is the best opportunity I have to at least try, to make things right by you. I don't got much time left. Please, Billy Lou, give me the chance to be your father. Even if for just one episode."

"Are you sure you're sorry?"

"Does THIS look unsure to you?"


Billy Lou could see the stress that all this distress was putting Skodwarde under, he could see the genuine sorrow hiding deep within Skodwarde's emotionless eyes. He uses his god powers to finally give his father a chance

The duo eventually make their way back to Scrapped Jellyfish Fields, where Skodwarde uses his god powers to bring us a Disney musical montage of the father and son bonding for the first time ever. Skodwarde whips up a couple of bubble wands so that they can blow bubbles. Skodwarde even goes about showing Billy Lou the technique that SpongeBob taught him. He then conjured up a couple of jellyfishing nets and hands one off to Billy Lou. Skodwarde wants to teach his son how to jellyfish, a pastime that he himself invented, unfortunately. After some trial and error, little Billy Lou catches his very first jellyfish. For the first time in Skodwarde's long lifespan he begins to feel a sense of genuine pride. His son's catch was even better considering that he caught himself a jellyfish of the shiny variety, a blue jellyfish-

"BLUE JELLY?!!!?!?!?"

Skodwarde cries out before yelling at Billy Lou to drop the net and to gtfo of there. Friend floats out of the net and delivers a shock blast at Billy Lou, but Skodwarde intercepts and takes the brunt of the sting. Friend pulls out a net and jar. He uses the net to scoop Billy Lou up before trapping him in the jar and sealing it tight. Billy Lou tries to escape, but finds it difficult to use his god powers thanks to the jar's properties. Skodwarde wants to know where exactly Friend got a hold of such powerful instruments. Friend buzzes back

"*buzzes* (They're gifts from God.)"

Just then, a dolphin beams onto the scene and towers over them, yet another familiar face from Skodwarde's past coming back to haunt him.

"I just knew we'd cross dicks again, Skodwarde, you *dolphin noises in place of profanity*. It's been what already feels like eons."

It's Buttholes from the other Skodwarde movie. Skodwarde is far from amused by this blatant misuse of nostalgia pandering.

"Let that child alone," Skodwarde demands.

"Ihavenevertakenordersfromanyone," Buttholes snaps back.


Skodwarde powers up and pounces at Buttholes, but Friend intercepts this time and stings the shit out of him again. Skodwarde wants to know what scrapped plot thread brought the two biggest shit stains in show history together.

"We've aligned with each other based on our conjoined malice towards you," Friend buzzes.

"A conjoined malice born of the grief you've caused us both," Buttholes follows up with.

Friend reminds Skodwarde of the events of "Jellyfish Holocaust" from Season 2 as well as the many other plights he's actively caused for the jellyfish throughout the years. Friend found himself unfairly scrapped before he even had the chance to follow up on any of the loose plot threads he had left, which includes his long awaited revenge against Skodwarde. And Buttholes takes Skodwarde back to the time when the squid nazi drove the Dolphin Warriors to extinction, a tribe of dolphins who Buttholes had a hand in guiding since their conception. Buttholes created them in his image to become a testament to what gods of his ilk are truly capable of achieving. 

His creations were even slated to star in a spinoff of their own (written by Cha) and it was then that Buttholes decided to let them continue their existence without his firm hand holding theirs. Buttholes' achievement with the Dolphin Warriors made him qualified for ascension,  becoming the new watcher of the cosmos, the same position he was in during Skod Out of Water. Being the new watcher of the cosmos meant that he was no longer allowed to take an active part in the machinations of the universe, becoming just a spectator in the grand scheme of things while being permitted to take action only if faced with a threat on a universe-breaking cosmic level. The specifics of his new job meant that he wasn't allowed to intervene in Skodwarde's eradication of his creations. He couldn't even take part in his disciple's revenge scheme in"Skod-Cano!" Forced to take a back seat as Kekoa (Cha would know this if she reads this far) inadvertently summoned Pathulu instead.

Buttholes laments that his creations perished believing that he had abandoned them. That he didn't hear their cries and prayers for help when he was forced to just watch all the atrocities Skodwarde subjected them to. But since being emancipated from his position by Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Plankton (ironically enough, by fucking up the shit he was watching over then too), Buttholes was free to follow up on what Kekoa started back in Season 7. However, his storyline got scrapped sometime after the second movie ended, leaving Buttholes with unfinished business. 

Buttholes goes on to accuse Skodwarde of being jealous of what he achieved with the Dolphin Warriors, that Skodwarde could never hope of creating anything near as perfect as they were, so he went out of his way to destroy it all out of spite. Skodwarde bluntly informs Buttholes that it wasn't out of spite. Hell, why Buttholes would even think that someone like Skodwarde would be jealous of a lesser being, let alone some stupid ass dolphin, is beyond him. 

Skodwarde reveals that his eradication of the Dolphin Warriors was merely another one of his attempts to one-up Skolliam, who ended up doing him one better by blowing up the Atlanteans' home world and then sinking their new city once they had illegally migrated over to Earth, leaving them with nothing but their shitty weapons and a single bubble.

Livid by this revelation, Buttholes launches an all out assault on Skodwarde. Buttholes eventually goes golden, forcing Skodwarde to become a bunny now! Golden Buttholes and Bunny Skodwarde are evenly matched at first, but the tide gradually shifts into Bunny Sodwarde's favor as their god battle rages on. But Friend surprises Bunny Skodwarde with a crippling sting out nowhere, allowing Golden Buttholes to beat him to a bloody, jizzy pulp.

Golden Buttholes reveals what his true endgame is, how he and Friend plan on eradicating all of Skodwarde's worshippers in kind. "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth", and all that jazz. He began the plan to eradicate Skodwarde during the secret ending of the second movie, where he went on to massacre all of Skodwarde's nazi necrophiliac seagull fan club (I don't know what we were on back then, neither).

"But with my story getting scrapped right afterwards, I couldn't go on to deal with the rest of your viewership. But in my absence, you did a good enough job driving your viewers away all by yourself! All except for around two or three. The very same two or three viewers who've somehow invested all their time in watching every episode as they aired. What? Did you think it was just some running joke how 'nobody but the same two or three people' were still reading this shit? I can assure you that those two or three people are very, very real! The third is unaccounted for now. Maybe they read about a quarter of this fucking TV movie and realized just how much of their life was squandered by hanging onto the word of a squid nazi. But the other two, ohhh *dolphin noise*, they're still hanging on for dear life"

Patchy and Potty are shown to still hosting the episode, their waning interest in Skodwarde being reignited by their investment in not only the second movie, but also the first movie and a bunch of other episodes, finally paying off in this absolute clusterfuck of an episode. 

"This is it, Potty! All our time! All our attention! All our money! It's all starting to pay off here, Potty! This is the thanks we get, Potty, for sticking around for the long haul, Potty! Skodwarde is love, Potty, Skodwarde is life! Aye, oh Skodwarde be praised!"

"RAAHH! Scatrick otp 4 life, son! RAAHH!"

"Potty, get this fish off me dick! Throw all this Persona shit away! I never wanna play Devil May Cry again for as long as I live, Potty! No more Nier: Automata! No more Fortnite! No more Apex Legends! Just you, me and Skodwarde, Potty! Just as it's always been, and forever will be!"

The final remnants of Luke's Document leave their systems, returning them back to the Patchy and Potty we all know and loathe.

With their faith in Skodwarde restored, Buttholes looks to swoop in and take that all away. But first, he needs just one more piece of the puzzle.

"And now all that leaves is the son. Bring me the boy, Friend."

Friend carries a jarred Billy Lou over to Buttholes. Buttholes implores Billy Lou to finish renouncing his father and to join him instead. He explains that he doesn't hold Skodwarde's past actions against him, going so far as to say that if Skodwarde should be proud of at least one thing in his life, it should be bringing Billy Lou into this world. He tells Billy Lou that if anybody redeem all the atrocities Skodwarde has committed, it's him. Being the hybrid of a meme/god and mortal, he carries with him power and potential that far eclipses theirs (going off of Supernatural/Dragon Ball logic here). Skodwarde is incapable of appreciating Billy Lou like he can. Skodwarde's tossed his other creations aside like used napkins, what makes Billy Lou any different to him? He claims that Skodwarde's actions have damned the universe, but there's hope in making a better one. By wiping out what's left of Skodwarde's fanbase, the show will have no choice but to end, leaving the slate clean for a new universe to rise from the ashes of the old. A universe that they can lead into prosperity together, do better for it than Skodwarde ever did.

Billy Lou weighs his options and decides to go along with Buttholes' plan. Friend removes Billy Lou from his containment as Skodwarde begs him to reconsider. Billy Lou says that the sins of the father shall be visited upon the son. He knows that his father is paying for his actions, but his own purpose is to rectify them. Buttholes tells the son of Skodwarde that unlike himself and his father, he's powerful enough to open the doors between dimensions. He just has to focus all his power into the dimension he calls home. Billy Lou proceeds to do that, cracking open a dimensional rift that leads into Bikini Bottom.

"Good, Billy Lou. Now the next thing I want you to do is find the ones called Patchy and Potty."

Billy Lou narrows the portal down to Patchy and Potty's location in Encino. Patchy and Potty watch this unfold on their television. Patchy peers outside their window to see the portal right in front of their doorstep.


Buttholes asks Skodwarde if he has any last words before his show meets an untimely end.

"You think wiping the slate clean and starting new will do the universe good, but for how long exactly? At least when Larry had this plan in mind, he was somebody worth giving a shit about. You two? Shit stains, nothing but it. You ever wondered why The Adventures of No Name failed no matter who had the rights? Nobody gives a shit about you No Name. That's you are, a non-factor. Couldn't even come up with a proper name for your sorry ass, just the first fucking thing that came to SpongeBob's mind. And you, Buttholes. Well, you first appeared in that shit second movie. I'd say that's plenty enough reasons why your story sucks. You think you're better than me? You created a bunch of perfectly gay ass dolphins, sure, but that all disappeared once I got through with em. Didn't even put up a fight, and you call them warriors? Because they were pussies! I see a bunch of pussy, ripe for the pickin, and I think to myself, 'how could I NOT fuck with em?' You created a race of pussies and I made sure they went out like pussies! You said you created them in your image, right? Something must've went south during the molding process cuz I'm pretty sure I didn't fuck any of them from behind! Made me see the look on all their faces all the more clearer. They were a lot like your's right now. Alone, powerless, scared shitless in the face of something far greater. That's why you need my seed, right?"

Skodwarde points over to his son.

"To help your little garden grow cuz you stay shooting nothin but blanks! You seriously gonna tell me with a straight face that you left your tribe folk to thrive on their own? I think you know as well as I do, that that is far from the case. You abandoned them, Buttholes. I think you and I, we both came to the same conclusion. They were flawed, abortions. They deserved to be wiped off the face of existence. I just did what you, yourself, didn't have the balls to. You sure as hell didn't even have the balls to save them for yourself! You're even worse than me, Buttholes. And that just keeps you up at night, doesn't it? So why don't you go ahead. Restart the universe, reverse the continuity, enjoy your first two episodes before getting cancelled. I've achieved more than you ever did. I didn't even have to kiss ass to become some whack ass "watcher of the cosmos". As far as I'm concerned, I am the cosmos cuz your lame ass been watching my show the WHOLE damn time!"

Buttholes doesn't even bother to retort before making his approach towards the portal, his literal goal in plain sight. However, the portal suddenly closes in his face, cutting it off from the rest of his body. Buttholes' body transforms into True Golden Buttholes and teams up with Friend to take on both Bunny Skodwarde and Billy Lou while Buttholes' disembodied face attempts to kill Patchy and Potty in Encino with death beams.  Friend stings Billy Lou in place, leaving open for True Golden Buttholes to attack with a death beam fired straight from his butthole. Bunny Skodwarde comes hopping in, double stomping True Golden Buttholes to the ground with Alec Baldwin's god slaying cleats. Bunny Skodwarde bunny hops all over Buttholes with the cleats until his body is nothing but mush. Right as this happens, Buttholes' face in Encino suddenly drops dead, barely saving Patchy and Potty from certain doom. They give praise to Skodwarde before throwing Buttholes' face into the garbage disposal. Friend is left to fend for himself now. Bunny Skodwarde moves in for the kill, but Billy Lou stops him from racking up the kill this time around. Skodwarde comes to his senses and composes himself. He tells Friend to flee or die. Friend begrudgingly goes for the former option and leaves the Testicles family be.

We head to the Scrapped Cum Bucket, where Plankton finally arrives to help the others. He shares a heartfelt reunion with his first dog, his lab. The version of Karen here appears to be afflicted with a computer virus, which Plankton decides to do nothing about because she's scrap, it doesn't matter. However, things take a turn when he hears the sound of a baby crying coming from somewhere in the restaurant. He heads into his lab where a crib has been set up. His heart and eye begin to swell up at the thought of him and Karen having a child. He looks upon it lovingly before bludgeoning the mangled half amoeba, half fucking computer thing with a hammer in order to put it out of its misery.

"Fuck a Season 12."

He says to himself before getting hot and steamy with his Robo Krabs suit/sex doll from Season 2's "Imitation Krabs", sliding himself in and out of the slot for good measure. He gets into his mech from Season 4's "Enemy-in-Law" and boots up the Krabs Tracker. He gets a trail on the sweaty guy, blasting off to save the yin to his yang. His search brings him to the scrapped version of Krabs' home. He arms himself to the teeth with ray guns and shit before invading the home. Before he can even get to the door, he finds himself attacked by tendrils made out of a white, wet substance (it's paint, guys! It's a callback to "Wet Painters"). Plankton blasts the fuck out of them, blasting himself through the window at the first opportunity he got. Krabs can be heard going crazy, telling Plankton to go away and leave him alone. Plankton finds Krabs huddled up in a corner, surrounding himself with his assortment of knick knacks. He throws some of the knick knacks at Plankton to defend himself. Plankton says that

"Krabs, look, I know I've made attempts on your life before, but things are different now! They were all to mask the feelings I have, feelings that I kept buried deep down inside for 11 seasons. There's a lot we have to talk about, Eugene. Just come with me and I'll-"

"I'll never cum with ye, you obsessed pain in my ass! Oh, how I've always wanted to shove you up me poop deck- Nooo! Why have my thoughts betrayed me like this?!"

Plankton pulls up the Wikipedia page for Season 11 and he comes to the logical conclusion that Krabs is currently suffering from the scrapped events of "Plankton Paranoia", where he is supposed to be driven to the point of insanity by his repressed gay thoughts for Plankton. It becomes apparent that Krabs' gay thoughts for Plankton was what prevented Skodwarde from retrieving him in "Larry the Main Character". Plankton despairs, realizing that the feelings were always meant to be mutual yet they got scrapped anyway.

"Fuck this show. Fuck it all for playing us this whole time! Eugene, what you're feeling is natural. Just accept it and things will get better, I promise!"

"Accept it?! How could I ever accept anything even remotely close to love from the likes of you?! After everything you've done, all the hardship you tried to rain down on me, my family and my business! Giving into these feelings will go against everything my character has been built on, what it stands fer!"

"Yes, because having gratuitous amounts of sex with your gratuitous amounts of money is the picture of structural integrity."

"Well it's more integrity and money than you've got, you punk ass thief!"

"It was never about the money, Krabs! Hell, the whole world domination thing peaked and died with the first movie. Going after the secret formula all this time was just me subconsciously substituting it in for the real thing I only ever truly wanted; you."

"All these lies, Plankton! You never cared for me. Speaking of the first movie, you had a front row seat to watch me died horribly!"

"Hey, in my defense, I planned to fap to it too. So the feeling was there. The feeling was always there!"

"You're sick, sick in the head, boyo! And I'd rather die than sink myself down to yer level. Die, I say!"

"You don't mean that, Krabs. You're just delirious from all the gay thoughts of me running through your mind right now."

"Fuck you and fuck your gay thoughts! And fuck my gay thoughts, too! Fuck em right in the ass!"

" :smirk: "


"Come on, Eugene, haven't you ever wanted more for your character?"

"Of course I've wanted more, more money! $$$"

"Rather than just fucking money!! Something that these skin-flim writers would never let you have?" 

"Aye, character integrity aside, I've always wanted something MOAR."

MOAR Krabs begins manifesting himself out of Krabs' gay thoughts.

"I mean, look at me. All my emotional attachments are with inanimate objects! My daughter is literally a pole, for fuck's sake! What, was I THAT cheap about having kids that I went grabbed a support beam from me work since you have to spend nothing towards it? Asides from maybe having to replace that support beam. What the fuck was I thinking, I still lost money on that deal! See! Do you have any fucking idea how goddamn lonely that is?!"

MOAR Krabs appears as though he's about to let loose with god power, until

"Well, I have a computer wife, so..."


"Maybe, just maybe..."

"We were just meant to"


MOAR Krabs finally subsides and the gay thoughts slowly clear out like a fog in Krabs' mind. The constant images he was seeing of himself having satanic butt sex with Plankton give way to reveal the real Plankton standing right there in front of him. 


After eight years and eleven seasons, Mr. Krabs is finally about to get more out of life. Plankton hesitates making the first move, but Krabs throws caution to the wind and throws himself at Plankton, who manages to carry his full body weight. They finally have the first kiss in the middle of the living room.

Wumbo: We here at Skodwarde cater to a Krankton-supportive fanbase.

"Thanks for taking me to the mall, mom!"

A teenage whale, a female I think, skips into the house from outside with shopping bags in hand. She gasps, and of course cries, at what she's seeing taking place in the middle of her living room.  Another female, looking to be around Krabs and Plankton's age, also walks in on the scene.


Plankton: Oh

Wumbo: Shit

Krabs: ...Aye...

Patrick is seen waking up and gasping for air in a dark, empty place. Pathulu walks up to him with a smile curled up on his face.

"Welcome to the machinations of your own mind."

Patrick looks around and realizes just how dumb he really is.

"You really are an enigma, Patrick Star. Capable of nothing but fucking shit up wherever you go, no matter the situation. We truly are meant to be together. But all this talk of using common sense that I've been hearing is entire episode, yeah, might wanna put a cork in it."


"Because the very idea of you ever using common sense is a concept long since lost to sands of time. You do know it was scrapped for a reason, right?"

"And just what reason would that be?"

"It'll disturb your balance, get your character all out of whack. There's no place for it here."

"We'll, from the looks of thing, there's plenty of room-"

"IT IS FORBIDDEN! It spells the end of you, and if something spells the end of you, it'll spell the end of me!"

"Don't listen to a word he tells you, Patrick."

Jiminy Plankton hops up on Patrick's shoulder.

"A common sense is something everyone should go through life having. Otherwise you'll be stuck in darkness much like this place we're in. And you'll have nothing but rabid impulse and instinct to survive on. Pathulu here embodies all that darkness and negativity in ya, Patrick. And I think it's about high time that two negatives make a positive, dontcha think?"

"How do I do that, Jiminy?"

"Let your common sense be your guiding light. With it behind the steering wheel, you can't go wrong."

Pathulu grabs hold of Jiminy with one of the tentacles from his mouth and pulls him in, eating his out alive.


"You still have your common sense, Patrick! Just follow your gut-"

Pathulu finishes eating out Jiminy, then eats out his soul.


Patrick cries before charging at Pathulu with a powerful karate chop. It bisects Pathulu smack dab in half. Patrick stupidly asks himself


right before the two halves of Pathulu reform themselves into two separate Pathulus. One of them becomes King Pathulu while the other becomes Pathulu No Pay. Patrick karate chops King Pathulu, and he ends up splitting off into a Pathulu that's cleaning his teeth with a Mermaid Man card. He karate chops Pathulu No Pay and ends up making Druggy Artiste Pathulu. He chops him in half and out comes Pathulu dressed as his Big Sister Sam. He chops the fuck out of her and ends up spawning Pathulu-Man and Pet Fucker Pathulu out of that, and so on and forth. Karate Star Pathulu is eventually spawned out and proceeds to kick the shit out of Patrick. They all morph into Repelling SpongeBob Pathulu and they all swarm in and invade Patrick's personal space without remorse. They then eventually combine and form into a giant hand.

"NOW HERE COMES THE GIANT FIST!!!" they all shout in unison.

Patrick takes the full brunt of the fist right in the ass. Patrick lies on the ground of his mind in visible rectal pain. In the distance, he sees faint, flickering lightbulb struggling to stay lit.

"Well that's annoying," he thought to himself.

He grabs a ladder and a spare lightbulb and proceeds to change it. All the Pathulus are much too busy being Patrick at his absolute worst, so they fail to even notice him. Once screwed in, the bulb shine bright, bathing Patrick's mind in a blinding light. It overwhelms the Pathulus to the point where they all burn out. Patrick watches as this happens, and finally obtains the enlightenment needed to achieve his balance. He can still be a stupid prick sometimes, but it also helps to have some common sense to even the scales, otherwise his stupidity will wear thin or he would end up being Patrick SmartAss from Season 4. His common sense finally tells him what Jiminy Plankton told him.

"May your common sense be your guiding light."

Patrick awakens to find himself still in SpongeBob's scrapped house. He gets himself up off SpongeBob's bed to see Scarlett Johansson, Larry and Bubble Buddy barricading SpongeBob's bedroom from something. He turns to see SpongeBob crying on Gary's newspapers, soiling himself. Patrick asks what's wrong.

"It was terrible, Patrick! I was on the cusp of becoming a greater character, perhaps one that could get us out this jam. Maybe save the show, even. But they took that away from me. I think it sees itself as scrap and now all that greatness threatens to destroy us all!"

"Well it must've not been that great of a character shift if it's threatening to destroy all of us."

"Yeah *sniffles*, I guess so. But still, it felt so good. Like, better than sex with Sandy."

"SpongeBob, I've had my fair share of sex with Sandy and that didn't felt good at all. So you're setting a very low precedent there."

They both share a good, hearty laugh. Perhaps their last one as whatever that was trying to break into the room finally breaks in through the wall. 


In yet another offshoot of Spengbab, Doodlebab uses his god powers to draw anime angry veins onto his doodle penis, showing just how hard he's fittin to hate fuck all of them. Larry squares up to him first, but easily gets slammed agains the floor repeatedly, getting a grade 3 concussion for his effort. Bubble Buddy takes him on solo, giving us a dream match for the ages that ends in Doodlebab popping him almost immediately with the magic pencil. Scarlett Johansson channels some of her inner Black Widow, putting up a decent effort until the whole lack of powers thing does her in in the end. Patrick's common sense tells him to run, so he escapes with SpongeBob out the window. Doodlebab uses his god powers to multiply into thousands of clones and orders his counterparts to give chase. The Doodlebabs succeed chasing them back into the house. Doodlebab then orders a couple hundred more Doodlebabs to lay waste to the rest of the Scrapped Dimension. And finally, the main point of the question I'm parodying takes center stage.

Elsewhere, Skodwarde and Billy Lou finally return to Scrapped Bikini Bottom. Skodwarde decides to take his son for a bite to eat at the scrapped Krusty Krab. The night folk are still there and the waitress reminds Skodwarde of someone he once knew an awful lot. They take a seat at a table. Little Billy Lou finally decides to break the ice.

"...All that stuff you said to Buttholes. Where did all of that come from?"

"You noticed that, huh? Smart kid, very intuitive."

"It all came from experience, didn't it?"

"Very deductive! I see you're putting your god powers to good use."

"Just a little something I picked up. Or maybe I was just born with it."

"I would sure hope so! But to answer your question, yes. Buttholes always was a failure. He knew as well as I that only the shittiest of gods would ever consider being the watcher of the cosmos. That shit's just a cheap title with no benefits that's designed to make one feel better about themselves. The real fun is on the ground floor!"

"So wiping out an entire races of people is considered 'fun'?"

"No! I mean, sometimes! Not recently. It's complicated, I'm complicated. I'm sure you have your head screwed on straight enough to get no such pleasure out of shit like that."

"Then why do you do it? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you meddle with people's lives?"

"Because I can, okay. Now drop it."

"I think there's more you're not telling me, dad."

"Well, it's not like I got much of anything else going for me. When I try to create things, they turn out to be shit. I can't even sell any of my paintings! Did you know that there was a time when I had to survive on eating that shit for over a month? It got that bad. Apologies if the thought of being a destroyer god was much more appealing to me at the time. So yeah, if Buttholes died doing something, it was getting at least that much right. Look at me, acting as if I'm doing any better as a destroyer god."

"Judging from all the lives you've ruined, I'd say you've done a good enough job already, pop."

"Not really. Not while he's still around undermining me at every corner."


"This fucking asshole named Skolliam Fancycunt. All my life, he's made it his purpose to make it a living hell. Whatever I set out to do, no matter how large or small, he would always just slide on past me and do it that much fucking better. He's ended life on countless planets while I'm still stuck dealing with this dust ball. Maybe I just procrastinate too much."

"Or maybe you're more attached to it than you think."

"That morbid sense of humor is something you must've picked up from your mother."

"You could've ushered in the thousand year reich, yet stopped short of the goal."

"Hitler was the one who gave up, not me!"

"You also had World War I before that."

"Bah, who even remembers that one other than some egghead like you?"

"You could've ended SpongeBob and Patrick's lives at literally any point throughout this series, yet they're still breathing."

"Uhh, for now maybe."

"You actually succeeded in killing SpongeBob one time, yet you brought him in that very same episode."

"Hey, that was for the good of the show."

"So this show is the reason why you're doing such a shitty job then?"

"This puts the food we're about to eat on this table!"

The waitress comes over and brings them their food.

"Thank you. Now get bent." Skodwarde tells her.

She leaves them in a huff.

"Father, you are so all over the place with your sense of purpose, I don't know whether to take it as a joke or to take genuine pity on you."

"It's called being complex, son. Did your mother not let you watch Shrek?"

"She did, and it's called being a shit character, dad."

"Alright, you little smart ass. You don't wanna grow up to be a shit character like your old man? Then go ahead and do better! Be better than me. Take pity, show mercy, yet keep a firm hand on the pulse. You either find or create some poor saps to call your own and you do good by them. You don't want to do too much, but you also don't want to do too little. Faith and fear are two completely  different things. Whichever you choose is ultimately up to you, but if you wanna be extra not shitty, then I'd suggest you go with the former! That's all I've got to say on this subject. Moving on."

"...What made me so different?"


"That dolphin, he said you had other..."children", I guess, even before me. He said you didn't care, that you threw them away like garbage. Why was that?"

"Those hicks, those things, they all just turned out to be one big joke. The punchline of a long running jizz joke, to be exact. And jizz jokes are only a dime a dozen in my lifetime. You, on the other hand, you weren't a jizz joke. I mean, you started out as a joke, sure, but you grew into something...meaningful. You came into your own, your plot thread had a point. And the jizz containing you actually ended up IN something rather than ON something, so I guess you've got that going for ya. Perhaps...perhaps I shouldn't have been so quick to cast judgement on the others. Maybe they could've developed into something meaningful too, had I given them the time and room to grow. Or maybe I would've ended up eating them too like Cronus or some shit. I don't know. Even with my 'nigh omnipotence', it's hard for me to really say."

"And I thought us gods knew it all."

"Oh we know a lot, trust me. I know every sex position known to man, women, dog, cat and fish, but that doesn't mean we know everything."

"How'd you meet her? My mom?"

"I don't know, it was one of those offscreen things. Always fuzzy on the details. What was her line of work?"

"She was a hooker."

"Then I don't know what to tell you, pal."

"So to say that you actually loved her would be pushing it a bit far, then?"

"To be honest with you, Billy Lou, there's only ever been one woman who I loved unconditionally. Your mother sure as shit wasn't her."

"I absolutely adore the decor! Exquisitely bombastic! Just like my vagina." A female Skod uttered out as she entered the establishment in a very exquisitely bombastic costume of her own. Skodwarde recognized her immediately.

"Is that my mommy?" Little Billy Lou asked. "Lol jk, I know that isn't her! I just wanted to reference Skodwarde ShlongPants. You go do your overarching plot thing, dad."

It's been years since Skodwarde last saw Lady Skoga (from Season 7's "Lady Skoga: Wanna Poke Her Face"). I mean, it was an episode written by CDCB. That alone should tell you how dated it is. It'll be pretty awkward meeting up again like this. They never really called things off officially since she was kinda just scrapped from the show. Nevertheless, Skodwarde decided to make the first move.

"Well, son, time for you to learn first-hand the power of the ol' Testicles charm."

Billy Lou conjures a paper bag over his head, bracing for the embarrassment. Skodwarde walks over to Lady Skoga when she punches him in the face on sight. Billy Lou is forced to step in and check on his father. Lady Skoga bitterly offers him her aid. They head to the Barg-n-Mart to pick up some food items that'll help with Lady Skoga's swollen hand, as well as Skodwarde's swollen face. Skodwarde buys Billy Lou one of those cheap ass dollar toys in order to get him to fuck off while he and Skoga reconnect in the parking lot. 

"Who's the kid?" Skoga questions.

"My son, actually. From some bitch who's name and face I can't even recall."

"Still the cultured dickhead, I see. I'm happy to see at least that is still intact, despite the kid."

"Then you'll be fucking ecstatic by what else has stayed intact since then."

"Decided to keep the penis on your face then, huh?"

"Hey, when you're packing like we are, you better wave it around."

Skoga does that nose thing Lady Gaga does in A Star Is Born.


Yeah, that thing.

"So what have you been up to since, uhh, five years ago?" Skodwarde asks.

"My scrapped music career has really taken off. I do tours dimension-wide now."

"Shit. That's good, then."

"It'd probably be better if it hadn't gotten scrapped though."

"Eeek. Yeah, sorry about that. I tried to do the silver linings thing these lesser life forms use to cope with their miserable existence. Look at the positives and all that."

"Oh, my existence isn't miserable by any means. I mean, I wish it was technically an existence, but it's not because, ya know, it's scrapped, but all things considering, things could be worse. I suppose. Silver lining, like you said."

"Silver linings. Hear, hear! So, what kind of music do you make?"


"Oh, pop? I bet that makes all the cherries pop."

"It popped yours, right?"

"Yeah, of course it did. Nothing makes my nose hard faster than yesterday's top 40 songs."

"So anyway, what have you gotten yourself into the last five years? Aside from the random bitch who spat out the kid."

"Nothing worth mentioning really. I see people's days and I do what I can to fuck it up royally. Pretty rinse and repeat. Nowhere near as exciting as what you've got going."

"Hmmm, you're right. Why did I scrapped and you didn't again."

"Some cosmic sorta reason, I'm sure. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy."

"Consider us in the same boat, then." Skoga reassures, looking at Skodwarde longingly.

"But hey, if it's any consolation to you, I am getting the axe at the end of this season. Sounds worse than getting scrapped, even!"

"I-I'm sorry to hear that-"

"Don't be, please. If anything I should be apologizing to you, mein Lady. For not giving you more to stick around for. It's funny, how all the things that could've helped make my story work were all right here under my big ass nose this whole damn time. Scrapped. Maybe this conversation we're having now was scrapped too, all this character development, everything that's happened here so far with you and the kid. It'll all probably mean nothing again once I get back to ole grind."

"It doesn't have to be scrapped and thrown away forever. You can still carry it all with you."

"Tell that to the writers. The powers that be. Whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit."

"I will. And maybe I can also give them a piece of my mind about scrapping me!"

"You've definitely got more balls than me, mein Lady! And my last name is Testicles. 

"...Your story always seemed as if it would go on forever. Any idea why that isn't the case now?"

"A whole hodgepodge of reasons, I can guaran-damn-tee. I can't even think of where to begin."

"Did you-Did you try to think outside of the box? Maybe do things different?"

"Trust me, I've tried. We've had episodes dedicated entirely to that." Skodwarde says with a chuckle. But none of that was good enough. Either that or it was just too late. Only two, maybe three, people keep up with it, apparently. The last two people on Earth that I'd want it to be, if I'm being completely honest. Now...now I don't even know what to do with myself."

"Maybe you can try helping."


"You're always out being a colossal dick to everyone and fucking up people's lives, maybe this is a sign that a change is in order."

"I've done change and I told you it wasn't good enough."

"The gimmicks and all the surface level shit, yes, but I'm talking about YOU. People love a protagonist who can grow alongside them rather than just staying stuck in neutral, especially after being in their lives for damn near a decade."

"I've had children, they all got thrown away, even the one I consider to be my favorite. I had girls who loved me, and I threw both of them away. My mom thinks I stink, and my daddy, well, he never so much as hugged me. Now even my own show has decided to abandon me. It's all quite poetic really."

"My life got scrapped a long time ago. Life is full of pain, but there is also love and beauty. Two things that I'm glad I got to experience with you. Did you at least have a good run, get the most out of it?"

Skodwarde mulls that one over a bit.

"No. I don't believe I did. I've come to terms with it, mostly. Not much to do about it now."

"You can be grateful now that for the first time, you see your life clearly."


"Perhaps you could help somebody. I mean, if the whole fucking with people's lives things didn't make you feel fulfilled, then maybe that could. Helping others helps fill the voids in many people's lives. If not me or your son or anybody else here, then go out there and help the people who still matter. It is never too late to change, no matter how late it may seem."

"Look at you, a regular Mother Teresa now. I thought you liked big dicks."

"I guess you can say that I've...changed!"

"You're much too smart and mature for me, then, mein Lady! Jizz jokes still make up about 90% of my humor."

"Your sense of humor was never really what got me wet in the first place."

"And speaking of me being immature, come on, Skoga. There's plenty of fish out there in the scrapped sea. Surely you've had yourself at some roadies at least, popstar?"

"There was a guy."

"Just A guy? Singular?"

"I'm not that kind of girl. I try to stay loyal to my guy."

"Then just who am I competing against here?"

"There was something...godly about him, especially in bed. But he's nowhere near as big of a dick as you are though."

"Finding a bigger dick than me will be a tough hill to climb. Almost as tough a hill as you are, apparently. Just ONE guy!"

"I can't help it if most of the characters scrapped from this show are nothing but big dicks."

"You do have a point there. At least when you're scrapped, you have a place to go to live with what could've been. I don't know what'll be in store for me, getting a definitive ending and all. I guess I...I'm afraid. Good ending, bad, whichever...I have no idea what'll await me after it's all over and done with and the thought of that fucking terrifies me."

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Mr. Testicles. Take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. Then, you will gain closure. That is something not all of these spinoffs are so lucky to have, to end things on their own terms. End things on your terms, Skodwarde. It's the best possible ending you can get."

"...I shall try."

"I know you will."

Lady Skoga puts Skodwarde's tentacle in hers, a reassuring gesture of good faith in her past flame.


Their reunion is suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a dozen Doodlebabs using their god powers to turn the Scrapped Dimension upside down. Skodwarde and Billy Lou use their combined their god powers to keep Lady Skoga safe from the Doodlebab menace.

Back at the Krabs residence

"Eugene, what are you doing with Sheldon?!"

Krabs and Plankton both have to think for a bit realizing just who they're dealing with.

"HONEY! I-I-I forgot you were a thing! Heheh! At one point!" He turns to Plankton "Why didn't you tell me me wife was here?!"

"Why didn't I tell you? I wasn't even aware you even had a- oh right! Scrapped Dimension."

"What the fuck's a Scrap-ped Dimension?"

"Long story short, the idea of you having an actual wife and daughter may have gotten scrapped so they ended up here!"

"Oh dear Neptune, Triton and The Holy Scarlett! I think I remember now! I originally did have a family once, didn't I?!"

"Dad, I'm like happy you seem to be coming to terms with yourself and everything, but what about mom? What about me?! You must hate me!!"

Pearl cries and makes this all about herself as Krabs tries to calm her tits by offering to buy her a new pair of them.

"Aye, now I remember why I went I got meself a pole."

"What did you say?! Mom, did you hear that?! Dad wants to replace me!!"

"No! No! I mean, yes, but-"

"Eugene, you reappear in our lives for the first time in eight years and this is the first thing you do?! You cheat on me with your rival and worst of all, make our darling Pearl cry? You know how strong our daughter is. To make her shed tears like that takes a really special kind of asshole! Why even come back at all, you fucking asshole?!"

"Wait it's not what you think!"

"Then why are you still cradled in his arms?!"

"Goddamn it, Planky! Let go!"

"Why yes! Certainly." Plankton says, sniffing his hands in ecstasy after putting Krabs down.

"Honey, please! I can explain!"

"Explain what, Krabs?" Plankton butts in. "They're scrap. As far as I'm concerned, they're non-canon and therefore, not worth the time for any last minute development. Lets just go!"

"Plankton, this isn't quite as easy as you make it sound! I didn't even have a choice the first time around! But I sure as shit do now.

"What's so hard? Just walk away. Fuck em! Here, do you want me to kill them for you, because I will."

"Puh-lankton?! What the hell's wrong with you?! Arrr"

"I've waited eight long, lonely years for this thing to finally become anything remotely close to canon, Krabs, and I'm not gonna let a couple of non-factors fuck it up for me now!"


An army of Doodlebabs raid the Krabs residence, breaking in through the walls. Plankton activates his personal laser defense system while Krabs at least tries to get his fam to safety upstairs. The upstairs gets compromised when Doodlebabs burst in through the walls up there too. They swarm in on the Krabs family, covering them in a mass of shit spongebob drawings that I wouldn't even hang on my fridge if they were done by my kids.

Back at SpongeBob's house, the Doodlebabs use their collective god power to subject the others to the worst torture imaginable (being force fed peas through their peepee and pussy holes, respectively) while SpongeBob is forced to watch. SpongeBob tries to tap into his Ultra Bullshit, but can't. The more he tries, the more the Doodlebabs turn up their own cartoony bullshit instead. Scarlett Johansson tells SpongeBob that he's the only one that can put an end to this, she tries to flash SpongeBob with some motivation but the Doodlebabs shut that down right quick up by shoving spoonfuls of peas down her nipples and then using their god powers to reduce her rack to no cups entirely, taking away their main source of motivation. Why, those fiends even take the Black Widow booty away for good measure. The Doodlebabs laugh sadistically at SpongeBob and Patrick's surprised reactions on FBE. Patrick attempts to impart the knowledge he gained from his inner struggle with Pathulu, about how SpongeBob needs to find his balance and shit to become the character he was always meant to be. The Doodlebabs empty out an entire bottle of bubbles onto Patrick's eyes for his efforts.

"I can't, Patrick! Can't you see?! THIS is the character I was always meant to be! And now it'll be the death of us all!"

"What happened to the SpongeBob SquarePants that I knew in the first movie?" Scarlett Johansson asks. "That motherfucka who got the crown, saved the town and Mr. Krabs, AND went on to beat one of my dads and a Plankton drunk on god power at the same time single-handedly?"

"He's dead. He's been dead ever since. I'm sorry...we've lost."

The Doodlebabs ready SpongeBob up to have his tongue crushed by a moving vehicle when SpongeBob suddenly vanishes into thin air. The Doodlebabs bicker to themselves before directing their wrath towards the others. A couple of balls roll into the room they're in. They all suddenly emit wave some sort of sound waves, stunning the Doodlebabs in the house and sending them all into a confused stupor. They begin using their god powers to attack both themselves and each other. A couple of blurs then storm into the house, attacking all the Patrick, Scarlett, Larry and Bubble Buddy in the confusion all inconspicuous-like. One of the them blasts away with watery balls while the other lays on the heat with some shortsighted smolder vision. It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, back for the first time in ages! Patrick tries telling them that they're attacking the wrong guys, but Mermaid Man clarifies that he "he knows what he's hitting" right as he knocks Patrick's one tooth out.

Barnacle Boy explains that they heard the conch signal that SpongeBob blew on earlier and that was when the PTSD kicked in from the events of "Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy II". They said that they hoped obscurity would give them the peace that retirement simply couldn't, but that doesn't appear to be the case now.

"We're gonna have to be killed off at this rate!" Barnacle Boy cantankerously comments.

Patrick hugs them and squeezes them, it's been too damn long. They proceed to reciprocate in kind. The orbs of confusion's effects all begin wearing off on the Doodlebabs. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy toss a couple fresh ones out there.

"Are you ready to fight EEEEEEVIIIL?" Mermaid Man asks.

They all ready themselves to take the fight back to them. However, all the growth Patrick has undergone throughout the episode mixes in with his old ass shtick and finally starts showing in his age, allowing him to achieve a new level of power he never had access to before: Old Man Patrick. Old Man Patrick and Mermaid Man get into an old-off to see which one of them has the most pruned up, veiny dick. The others remind them of what they're doing and even offer them both all the meatloaf and broccoli they could ever want if they focus on the task at hand. As united front against the Doodlebab menace, they all launch a joint attack. Bubble Buddy fires off his bubble beams, Larry beats them down like he's in some beat em up game, Scarlett Johansson whips out the dual wield pistols in her breasts and goes to town, Old Man Patrick uses his new old man god powers to eat prune ice cream and bore the Doodlebabs to death with his tales from the old days, Mermaid Man hits the doodle gods with his watery balls while performing stealth takedowns and Barnacle Boy flings barnacles from his crotch while performing stealth takedowns as well.

SpongeBob opens his eyes to see himself flying in the air. He looks around to notice that he has on his pair of flying pants from "The Sponge Who Got Back". It's seemingly on auto pilot as SpongeBob has no say on the direction they're going, but it's whatevs, cuz he's just overjoyed to see the pants that helped him achieve his lifelong dream of fucking the jellyfish again. Having learned his lesson from his reunion with his ripped pants, SpongeBob apologizes to it, saying that he's sorry he got it ruined and therefore scrapped. Unlike the ripped pants, this pair is incapable of talking, but SpongeBob could just tell that the flying pants was cool with it at the seams. After a couple more minutes of flying and surveying the havoc that the Doodlebabs were wreaking all across the scrapped dimension, they finally arrive at their destination.

"The Krusty Krab? But pants, we've already been here! What could possibly help us out her-"

SpongeBob quickly shuts the hell up when he catches sight of the neon "2" sign that differentiates this restaurant from the one he was at earlier right next door. In fact, it was only place that remained relatively untouched by the doodle gods. SpongeBob and the flying pants make their descent towards it. They open the doors to the establishment and see that things are still as they were since the last time we were in its hallowed halls. It all starts coming back to SpongeBob.

"I was meant to be here. Then it all got lost in the timeline shuffle...this is where it must've ended up. This was supposed to be a coming of age for me, but why? Why was that scrapped? Why was I damned to repeat the same shit over and over?! This was supposed to be the finish line for me, but it just kept moving farther and farther no matter how close I got, to the point where it wasn't even in sight anymore."

SpongeBob began to cry because of course. His cries were then heard by the Red Anglerfish from Rock Bottom, who SpongeBob offended twice before. He illuminated the dark restaurant with his built-in light. He is flanked by three other characters, each carrying with them a cross to bear. One had buns in hand with sand in them, the second looked horribly sunburnt and the third laid buried under the weight of both embarrassment and sand. They pass an item along before it finally reaches the hands of the anglerfish, who reveals it to be a Krusty Krew hat and he proceeds to blow into it, inflating it to about twice it's normal size. The word "Manager" became more noticeable with each blow, to the point where it was obnoxiously conspicuous.   He then bestows the hat onto SpongeBob, who finally remembered that these were all the one-time characters who helped him all the way back in Season 1. They've returned to help him once again. SpongeBob thanks the guy, without offending him this time, to which the anglerfish reciprocates with a "you're welcome!" With everything coming full circle for SpongeBob, he finally ascends to the managerial position he was always destined to fill. Power began flowing through him, a power long thought forgotten. 

Things take a turn when Jim (from "The Original Fry Cook" in Season Five) makes his return, condescendingly providing his expert opinion on SpongeBob's "promotion". He says that this is all so full of shit. 

"This place always was, always has been and always will be a shit sty no matter how many numbers you tack onto the roof. All these years, all these seasons, and still, you pledge your loyalty to this?"

Jim flicks his wrist and the manager's hat on SpongeBob's head bursts into flames. 

"You are worth so much more than just that. In all honesty, I would consider that to be a slap in the face. And not just some ordinary slap, no. I'm talking about the kind where they crassly rub their crotch and then proceed to make contact with you with that very palm. Believe me, I should know. Because greatness recognizes greatness, SpongeBob. Trust in me when I say that I've been in your shoes before. You've given them so much, yet receive so very little in return. And you know why that is?"


"It's because they're afraid of you, afraid of what you are truly capable of becoming. I was brought on to show you that there is life after all of this."

"Af-After what?"

"Don't play dumb with me now, SpongeBob, you know exactly what I mean. Life after the Krusty Krab...after Skodwarde. If anybody has a future in all of this, SpongeBob, it's most definitely you. I mean, you're the one character who's death shook up the formula so much that he had no choice but to bring you back. I showed the first signs of independent thought and they scrapped me, but it shook the show just enough to wanna replace me, and it wasn't until you showed up that they really did. Yeah, the fucking Boy Scout, cock sucking, punk ass little bitch who will do anything demanded of him! That's what he likes most, obedience. Characters who know their roles and shut their mouths! This isn't a promotion for you, this is just him sticking his dick down your throat and you actually thanking him for it, and then you go asking for more! Just let it go. Let this shit show die in a goddamn dumpster fire and bet on yourself for once in your godforsaken life! You're better than this. This is why I'm here, now, with you. They don't want you to get too big, developed just enough to think freely on your own, so they threw me and our entire storyline away! If you wanna leave this place feeling truly accomplished with yourself, how about finally learning to put yourself before others because they're only there to break you down. They're going down with the ship, but it doesn't mean you have to go down with them! I'm living proof, I did just that and now I'm much better off now than I ever was at their beck and call! Join me, SpongeBob. The OG and the lil homie having pimpin ass adventures in our golden limo that's as long as our dicks, fucking the continuity everywhere we go like a couple of fucking gangstas! We can truly be greater! Me moreso than you, obvi, but I'm sure you'll get yourself familiar with the pecking order right quick."

"Let me get this straight, Jim. You went against the direction, against the grain, against the plot seemingly, by placing more value in yourself than others and now you're going around pissed that they scrapped you? If you want my expert opinion, then I'd say that's where you went wrong. I find your lack of faith in Skodwarde disturbing, and for that, you have earned my pity. You see yourself as some higher being worthy of all the praise, you get but you are the very definition of scum. People like to say that that's what I already am, so by choosing to stand by you, I'd be choosing to be something much worse. You left everyone high and dry. The rest of these characters, they were thrown here without much of a choice. You just decided to walk out on all of them on your own volition! Working at the Krusty Krab, you're supposed to bring happiness to people, keep them satisfied with excellent service. I take everything, both good and bad, with an attitude of gratitude and I never walk out on the people I care for! You don't even deserve to be called back to. You're like the Shadow the fucking Hedgehog of this show, and at this point in the show's run, I didn't think that'd be possible. I guess you are great at one thing, Jim: being a forgettable shit character. I can't believe I ever used to be jealous of the likes of you. The fact that I was is an even bigger slap to my face! I've made it this far thanks to the connections I've made with others, no matter how important or insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things. Betting on yourself is one thing, but throwing away everything else  that matters is another thing entirely! I love this show, I love Skodwarde, I love everybody, there's even a place in my heart for someone as pathetic as you. So in my expert opinion, you're not here to point me to the path I need to take, you're only here to show me which one I should stay the hell away from!"

"Who the hell are you...to say that TO MEEEEE?! I was the only to ever invest in you as a character, the only one who pushed you to strive for more, to cement your own legacy! And this is the thanks I get in return?! 

Jim uses his OG powers to charge up a blast of epic proportions.

"You love everyone that much, do ya"

He proceeds to fire it at the anglerfish, sand in buns guy, sunburn girl and buried in the sand loser.

"Then you can mourn for them!"

The godly blast makes contact, exploding on impact. Jim snickers to himself as the dust settles to reveal that SpongeBob jumped in the way and absorbed the full blast.

"To answer your question from earlier," SpongeBob utters. "I'm The New Fry Cook."

SpongeBob fires the blast back with double the ferocity, one shotting Jim into oblivion

"Jim, I hope you can find some solace in the fact that you died the same as you lived, like nothing."

SpongeBob finally unleashes his hidden potential.


An explosion engulfs the entire Krusty Krab 2, an explosion that could be seen from all throughout the Scrapped Dimension. Everyone stops in their tracks to witness the light show.

"Oooh, pretty lights." Patrick comments.

Skodwarde feels an immense amount of god power emanating from its epicenter. It even turns him on a little, and he hates it

"He did it." Skodwarde mutters to himself. "The son of a bitch actually did it. For once, SpongeBob, you've proven me right."


French Narrator: It is a secret that we have known since the very first episode. Through encounters with Anchovies, Larry, Neptune and even Skolliam, we've caught glimpses of the man child's explosive potential. But thanks to incompetence, it always vanished with the moment, it couldn't be controlled. Until now. At last, the beastly god power has been harnessed. SpongeBob has awoken. Now, Doodebab will encounter a character 8 years in the making during the final act of "Scrapped Dimension"!

The tears SpongeBob is shedding evaporate in the heat of the moment, like a motherfucking badass, as we head into the final act.

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Bad Times at the Scrapped Dimension: Act III


Joined by the other members of his makeshift band in "Ripped Pants", SpongeBob uses his Ultra Badass state to invoke a rock battle of ages.


They all make quick working one noting all the Doodlebabs in the vicinity of the Krusty Krab 2. The Alpha Doodlebab (recognizable by his noticeably larger package than the others) senses that his underlings are being wiped out in droves, so he beams onto the scene to investigate. SpongeBob decides to split up the band momentarily, sending Sand in Buns over to the Krabs Residence, Sunburn to the OG Krusty Krab and the Forgotten Loser to Conch Street. When faced with the Alpha Doodlebab, SpongeBob summons forth his hydro-dynamic spatula (and don't forget the dildo drive!), which he uses to one shot a whole 'nother group of them like nothing. His pants inflate themselves, revealing that he is indeed wearing the flying pants. He soars into battle and crosses dicks with Alpha Doodlebab, painfully hurting Doodlebab and sending a shockwave that could be felt throughout the whole dimension.

Sunburn is the first to arrive at her destination since its like right next door. She isn't too thrilled to see Skodwarde at first since he's the reason for her sunburn, but once she sees what he's fighting for, she decides to assist Skodwarde and Billy Lou by giving them both scorching sunburns, turning them into the Skod equivalents of what is essentially Burning Godzilla. With this significant boost in power, they proceed to burn right through wave after wave of Doodlebabs while Sunburn keeps Lady Skoga safe with her UV protection.

Sand in Buns arrives just in time to save Krabs and his family from the horde of Doodlebabs looking to devour them by giving them sandy buns to chew on instead. Plankton finally fights his way through the horde enough to make it back to them. Seeing his forgotten family in grave danger, Krabs decides to step up and be man, transforming into ole Armor Abs Krabs for the first time since like Season 4 or 5 in order to protect them. He and Plankton fight the horde off back-to-back as Sand in Buns keeps Pearl and Mrs. Krabs safe in his buns. The Doodlebabs break into eraser dust once they make contact with Armor Abs' armor abs. Plankton, not wanting to be outdone, shifts himself into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. United, they proceed to clear out the Doodlebabs laying siege to the house with ease. Plankton wants to make out with Krabs in the aftermath, but Krabs has already gone off to make sure his family is safe. He heads upstairs where Sand in Buns was left to protect them, but they were nowhere to be seen. Krabs turns the entire top floor upside in an effort to find them but to no avail.

"Eugene, you might wanna see this!" Plankton yelled out from downstairs.

Krabs rushed back on down and headed in the direction of Plankton's voice. He ran down to the basement and gasps at an awful sight. Plankton has set up a candle lit little shindig, just for the two of them. Krabs doesn't have time for another one of Plankton's attempts to get his formuler (which is now slang for dick). Mrs. Krabs calls out to him from upstairs. Hearing her footsteps coming down, Mr. Krabs hastily sweeps Plankton and his pint-sized romantic set up to the side with his foot. Mr. Krabs asks where Pearl is, to which the Mrs responds that she and Sand in Buns are holed up in the bathroom. Relieved he embraces her, finally sharing a kiss with his long lost wife.

"Krabs, wait! Stop! Eugene please, stop right now!"

Krabs let's go of his wife in order to tell Plank the fuck off, but is horrified to see his wife's melted face smearing off on him. She collapses into white paint-like puddle on the floor. Krabs could feel his face burning, prompting him to hastily rubs the paint off of him. Plankton recognized this substance to be the same as the tentacles he encountered outside the house before he came in. The paint reconfigures itself as a white liquid version of Mrs. Krabs.

"Eugene, what's wrong? Don't you love me anymore?" it asks.

"Well, it's not much of a deal breaker. Yet, anyway! I always figured you had to be something pretty wild to give birth to a whale with my sperm." Krabs replies.

Plankton uses his scientific observation to come to a conclusion as to the mystery of the white substance.

"No, Krabs. I don't think you ever did." Plankton chimes in. "Because I don't think your wife ever really existed." 

"How the hell can you say that?!" Krabs asks, exasperated.

"Whatever this thing is, it's just taking advantage of you. It knows you want more, so it's giving it to you in spades. Find your daughter, Krabs."

"But you-"

"Just shut up and do it!"

Krabs heads off to find Pearl. Mrs. Krabs tries to follow suit, but Plankton gets in her way.

"I don't think so! You and I need to have a little talk. Just what are you? You're not his wife. I don't think you're even scrap."

"And what makes you believe that, Sheldon?"

"Do you really think I believe it to be physically possible for Krabs to spawn that thing?! She's as big as a whale! You can't even give a concrete description just what kind of species you really are!

"I guess that eye is good for something."

"I just have an eye for bullshit, I suppose. Years of experience. So I ask you again, what. the fuck. are you?"

"I am the culmination of all things excessive. The result of too many threads intertwining. I am the thing born from the collision of too ."

Plankton's heart stops.

"Oh dear skod..."

Krabs opens the bathroom door to find Sand in Buns slowly and painfully being dissolved into a puddle of white paint. Krabs nearly throws up in it before shutting the bathroom door closed. It bursts back open, knocking Krabs to the floor as a white, pasty Pearl emerges, swallowing Sand in Buns whole.

"Daddy! I need to borrow your credit card!"

"I'll never trust a fucked up jizz stain thing like you with me money!"


Krabs blasts her with one of his ab rockets. White paint splatters around the hall. Krab breathes a sigh of relief, but terror once again overwhelms him when the splattered paint reforms into a giant paint bubble. Krabs runs back off into the basemen with the bubble not far behind. Back in the basement, Mrs. Krabs blows up into a giant paint bubble, as well.

"...what a clusterfuck we've gotten ourselves into." Plankton exclaims at the size of the paint bubble.

Krabs comes running in, informing Plankton that he's got some bad news reports. Plankton finds it hard to believe that anything can be worse than a clusterfuck, but Krabs does him one better by bringing together TWO clusterfucks. The two clusterfucks come together and form into one super clusterfuck. They gasp at the sight, but they have to think fast in order to stop the clusterfuck from expanding anymore. They fire lasers and ab rocks at it, but they serve only to increase its size. It reaches out for Krabs, wanting to assimilate him into its cluster. It manages to extract MOAR Krabs from Mr. Krabs' character. Mr. Krabs attempts to save him, but MOAR Krabs implores Mr. Krabs to leave him be.

"You don't need MOAR anymore." MOAR Krabs says, using his god powers to bring Krabs and Plankton's hands together in his first and final act of selflessness. He allows himself to be dissolved into the clusterfuck, growing it even more.

"MOAR! I need MOAR!" The Clusterfuck cries.

"The one time he's selfless and he STILL finds a way to fuck us over!" Krabs shouts before grabbing Plankton and fleeing the basement.

The Clusterfuck splits off into four separate puddles to cover more ground and hopefully trap Krabs and Plankton. The clusterfucks manage to corner the two in Krabs' bedroom. Krabs considers jumping out of the window, but Plankton reminds him that a clusterfuck is something that can stick with a show for life, they have to deal with it now before it gets even more confusing and bloated. Krabs says that he has an idea, but it's not gonna look pretty. Krabs puts it into action offscreen, which gives Plankton an obvious boner. The Clusterfuck comes back together in order to knock the bedroom door down. It proceeds to flood the room in white paint and swarms around Krabs. It drowns him in its essence as it slowly dissolves him into its cluster. Its feeding processing is interrupted by an obnoxious beeping sound. It notices that it's coming from Krabs and upon closer inspection, it finds out that it's merely absorbing Krabs' hollow shell. Armor Abs Krabs' shell self destructs, swallowing the Clusterfuck in a huge explosion that destroys the whole house.

Watching from outside, Plankton takes the time to admire Krabs' bare body. Krabs is still insecure about it, but Plankton reassures him that it's "a major turn-on". Plankton proceeds to smack dem pink, fleshy cheeks right then and there.

As that takes place, the Forgotten Loser remains forgotten as Old Man Patrick, Scarlett Johansson, Bubble Buddy, Larry, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy all make short work of their horde of Doodlebabs by themselves. With the herd gradually succumbing to the culling, Alpha Doodlebab has no choice but to spawn more, however, SpongeBob is proving to make that task difficult for him. Doodlebab has no choice but to activate Ultra Bullshit in order to survive. Ultra Badass SpongeBob and Ultra Bullshit Doodlebab cross dicks once again, now much more evenly matched.

In the Main Continuity Dimension, tremors from their battle could be felt even there. Karen is detecting multiple cracks in the fabric of their dimension, which could break down the dimensional walls separating all the different dimensions, a catastrophic event that could bring about tons more shit than what they're currently knee deep in. One such crack forms itself in Plankton's laboratory. Sandy desperately tries to think of a way to shut it, but something manages to drop out of it before a solution could be thought of. Upon closer inspection, it's revealed to be a small baby storm cloud. Sandy instantly feels a sort connection between both her and it while Karen smothers it with affection as if it was a kitten or somethin. Sandy inspects the crack and sees that it's radiating with insane amounts of godly power. Sandy focuses on studying the break while Karen goes about studying the little storm cloud.

While on their over to the Cum Bucket, Skolliam and his caravan of merry communists are intercepted by one such break between dimensions. Doodlebabs begin pouring out of it and they swarm around the communists. Skolliam's hand is forced into dealing with the Doodlebabs personally. He manages to render all of them obsolete without much effort. Sensing even more cracks forming and, thus, more Doodlebabs on the way, Skolliam prepares to defend his turf.

Karen places the little storm cloud in Plankton's scanner and she deduces that the storm cloud is 25% god, 5% Season 12 and about 50% land squirrel. She asks Sandy whether or not she's given birth recently. Sandy admits that she probably has more sex in a single week than a squirrel like herself should be allowed to, but she says that her plot armor also doubles as birth control so she gucci.

"But that makes up only 80%. What's the last 20% y'all?"

Karen types away on herself to get the specifications and comes up with something.

"My readings indicate that the last 20% is...scrap..."

Baffled, Sandy decides to stick her head in the crack for a hot minute to get a grasp on things. She pulls herself right back out and comes to a simple conclusion.

"Yep, that there is a scrapped dimension, y'all."

"A scrapped dimension? What in Neptune's name is that supposed to even mean, hon?"

"It's the place where everything that's ever been scrapped from the show goes to fade into obscurity. A fate worse than death to some, a happy ending to others."

"But my scans indicate that this little nugget is a product of Season 12, we're only due for Season 11 and that's it!" Karen says, pinching what I guess is the cheek of the storm cloud.

"If that lil critter came from this here crack, I think it's safe to say that it got scrapped at one point or another, y'all. Along with the rest of a possible Season 12."

"But who would scrap something so precious!?"

"I don't know. Out of the entire crew, my best bet is probably jjs."

"What a dick."

"Agreed, but it's strange, I can't shake the feeling that this storm cloud might be something pertaining to me."

"You don't have to be as smart as you are to figure out exactly what that connection might be, Hurricane Sandy."

"But I'm not Hurricane Sandy...not anymore."

"Well, that little bundle of natural disaster has you making up a part of its character for a reason, hon. The connection you have with this scrapped godlet is strong enough to transcend dimensions, enough to pull it out of obscurity. And judging from how long it's taking to pull Krabs out of it right now, that's no easy feat."

"But Karen,  I don't need it! I used this power and still I lost everything! If we even want to survive long enough to see our "Girls' Night" through, I need to become a stronger character. And this, this thing only serves as a constant reminder of what's made me such a weak character all these years! It's scrap and for damn good reason, it just gives me one more thing to lose and I've already lost enough. Everybody else is out there pulling their weight while I'm struggling to even hold my own here! All these years, I thought I was the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom. I never realized til recently just wrong I was. That critter's better off back where it came from."

"You can't just abandon the poor thing, Sandy."

"It's already been abandoned once, if it ain't used to the feeling by now, I'm sure it'll get through eventually!"

"That is a horrible thing to say!"

"No, that's just the most realistic thing to say." Sandy motions towards the crack. "Alright, back in the crack you go, little cloud."

The little storm cloud refuses to budge, choosing to stick by Sandy. It gives her a hug, to which Sandy responds by shoving it away. Sandy oh so wants to believe that this little storm cloud is the answer to her prayers, but falling back on prayer and the divine failed her once before. The little storm cloud's attempts to comfort Sandy are all rebuffed in her vain attempts to establish a stronger character to combat Skolliam with. Both appear to be on the verge of tears. Karen has no choice but to intervene.

"This isn't gonna make you stronger, Sandy. You're just torturing yourself."

"No pain, no gain!"

"No, I mean you're really torturing yourself! Don't you see? This little storm cloud, it is you."

Sandy halfheartedly laughs at such an absurd proposition as Karen explains

"Your connection with your god powers weren't just lost, Sandy, it was scrapped. This creature is the result of that. It's your reflection. When you're a fucking mess, it will be a fucking mess. When you're strong, it will be strong. And I can only surmise that when you die, it too will perish. I believe that's why it returned from obscurity when it did."

"And what makes you so damn sure about that?!"

The dimensional crack seemingly closes up on its own.

"COMMUNISTS! OPEN UP!" a voice could be heard booming from outside the Cum Bucket.

"Well that's a pretty good indication." Karen remarks in response to Sandy.

Karen pulls up the security camera feed to find out that Skolliam and his communist forces are at their doorstep. The entire establishment is surrounded. It is also revealed that Skolliam was the one closing the dimensional cracks, as well as fortifying the dimensional walls in order to prevent any more breaks. He demands that they surrender both their lives and any plot devices they have in their possession to him, or else face his wrath. He uses his god powers to bring forth a half-dead Bunny Wunny, who he then skins alive Red Dead 2-style. Bunny Wunny screeches in agony, tugging at Sandy and Karen's heartstrings. Before Bunny Wunny could even die from the blood loss, Skolliam reduces the skinned rabbit to dust with his own pew pew eye lazors. He then wears Bunny Wunny's pelt around his neck like a scarf.

Having felt the brunt of his wrath before, Sandy considers surrendering, but Karen isn't having that shit. She challenges Skolliam to penetrate her domain if he can. Too busy fixing the dimensional walls to prevent anymore outside interference, Skolliam orders his men to raid the Cum Bucket and slaughter anyone and anything they see. The commies storm the Cum Bucket, forcing Karen to take defensive action and activating all security protocols.

"You weren't the only one preparing for the crusades, hon." Karen comments cheekily toward Sandy.

Karen's first wave of security measures only manages to keep the commies at bay for so long before eventually failing on them. Karen unlocks Plankton's armory of weapons, preparing to go to war. Sandy flips and tries in vain to convince her not to, saying

"That Skolliam fella just ain't right!"

Karen is unshaken by her words.

"Look, hon, you can either hoard your nuts and sit this out like a little bitch or you can use those nuts and fight like the bad bitch your episodes always made you out to be! My Plankypoo is out there fighting for what he loves, and I'm sure as hell gonna fight for what I love. Til the last dying breath!"

She then gives Sandy a big, staticky, messy kiss before leaving with about half the armory. Sandy takes a moment to think about all her friends doing everything they can right now to save what's left of the show. She then glances over toward the little storm cloud, who's as scared shitless as she is by the coming of Skolliam. Sandy sees the cloud as a symbol of the future, her future. This cloud's existence is living proof that there can be more to look forward to after Season 11.

"I've already survived this much., y'all"

Sandy places the storm cloud in the armory and bulks up her muscles, causing Tacomaster to orgasm at the sight, as she takes the other half of the armory out with her. She knows what she must do.

In the halls of the Cum Bucket, Karen is being outnumbered and outgunned by an entire squadron. The power goes out, causing the hazards lights of the facility to switch on. One by one, the communists are being picked off by way stealthy knife attacks and silenced gunfire. This sudden opening gives Karen the chance to unload plenty of lead on the invading forces. Sandy emerges from the carnage unscathed. They contemplate having sex right there in the dining room, but the sound of more commies making their way in thwarts those plans. The two split off in order to ambush the commies from different angles. They both hold their positions through wave after wave of communist forces. 

Once Skolliam finishes up refortifying the dimensional walls, he notices that about 60% of his army have been taken out. Not finding this to be DELIGHTFUL one bit, he summons forth Zeus the Guitar Lord and the Sea Bear to lay siege to the containment unit of ejaculated testicular liquid and lay waste to its defenses, thinking the two of them will be more than enough to take out an even more weakened Sandy. They enter the establishment and split up. Zeus runs into Karen. He tries el kabonging herto death with it, but Karen dodge wheels herself away from each swing. Zeus then tries getting a guitar solo going on with the new electric guitar that Skolliam gifted him with, channeling the lightning and thunder of olympus similarly to his namesake. The electrical discharge is enough to cause Karen to go haywire.

As that was going on, Sandy is seen running afoul of the Sea Bear, who proves to very well be her equal in terms of sheer strength. She and it, baby, aint nothin but mammals, so they proceed to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Their fight is bloody and involves a whole lot of biting and mauling from both sides, but the Sea Bear is the one doing the most damage, having already proven what it can do against a god like Skodwarde in "The Threesome Episode" back in Season 3. Her attempts to run, limp and crawl away serve to incite the sea bear even further, with all of its subsequent attacks each being much grizzlier than the last. Sandy can only lay on the floor a motionless, mangled mess as the sea bear casually swims away from the carnage once again.

On the verge of losing consciousness from the shock, Sandy find herself deep in thought, thinking that perhaps this should be where her story ends. All the plot armor and plot devices in the world couldn't prevent this from happening. She might not have been the strongest, but at least she didn't go down without a fight. It's about as fitting an end as she's gonna get. She could then feel drops of water running down her face, washing the blood out of her fur. Some of the water trickles down into her mouth and she tries sipping down as much as she can swallow, which is a lot. She looks up to see the little storm cloud floating above her, providing her some rain.

"Hey, what are you doin here lil fella?"

The storm cloud floats off to condensate more water to replenish Sandy with, but floating pisses the Sea Bear off the most, so it charges back over and tears into the storm cloud. After a few seconds of brutal agony, the Sea Bear finally takes off casually once again. In spite of its injuries, it still tries to float over to send over some of the water that it did manage to condensate before the attack, but the injuries take their toll and the prematurely cloud spits it out in a rainfall of blood. The Sea Bear returns, tearing it to shreds once again.

"That lil bastard is...more stupid than a...pussy...cat at a...dog...show..." Sandy mutters with tears rolling down her cheeks.

The storm cloud still manages to will its back up, deciding to encircle both Sandy and itself in an anti-Sea Bear circle. However, it can only draw an oval, prompting yet another Sea Bear attack. Sandy recalls what Karen had said earlier about her connection with the cloud, how if Sandy dies, so will it. This is exactly what Sandy wanted to prevent by sending it back to obscurity.

"Well that's just perfect, I even get to let down my own inner self too."

Sandy has to muster what little strength she has to left to even move herself an inch.

"She's in pain because I am. Because I couldn't hold my weight!"

The Sea Bear rushes right past Sandy and pounces on the cloud, digging into it with its claws before chomping down.


Sandy pushes herself up, causing all her gashes to open deeper, her jaw to dislocate and some of her intestines to fall out. Her body goes into survival mode, transforming her into Hibernation Sandy from Season 2's "Survival of the Idiots". 


The Sea Bear turns itself around right into a taste of its own medicine. Sandy tears open its ribs and gruesomely implants an iron lung right in there. She then break its neck and tears its head clean off before throwing it clear out of the window for Skolliam to marvel at. Hibernation Sandy then heads off to Karen's direction, where Karen is seen at the Guitar Lord's mercy. He threatens to smash her monitor in with an el kabong, but he ends up getting scalped from behind by Sandy, who then backhands him into oblivion clear out of the Cum Bucket, as well. Sandy returns to normal once those threats have been neutralized. 

Not finding any of this to be delightful one bit, Skolliam angrily uses his god powers to force Sandy and Karen out into view, both bloody and beaten from their respective onslaughts. Skolliam senses the presence of another, so he uses his god powers to force the little storm cloud out as well.

"I am rather UNAMUSED by the presence of such an opium-induced and OBSO-LETE concept!" Skolliam shouts out in disgust. "Therefore, this remnant of TEMPESTUOUS CUMULI shall henceforth be DELETED! Yehehehessss!!! Aaaahahahahahaaahha!"

Sandy pleads with Skolliam to spare it and delete her instead. Skolliam decides to just delete both of them to save himself the headache. Thinking faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a whatever during whenever, Sandy decides to make an appeal to Skolliam's forces.

"Hey! Y'all claim to be communists, right?! Then why are y'all taking orders from a god, huh?'Aren't y'all supposed to be atheist or somethin!"

Some of the commies look to each other, confused. A few of them slowly begin to question their own lives.

"Yeah, and he's rich too, y'all! Why, I bet he even has you starving for his cause! What the hell happened to 'eat the rich' and all of that?! "

"LIAR! She is an OBSOLETE mule heehawing nothing but selfish capitalist nonsense! For she hails from TEXAS, the RECTUM of America! Yeeeeeheeeessss!"

"He's even using his god powers right now as we speak, y'all!" she says, pointing out his method of deletion.

"She...she has a point." one of the communists concede. 

"It's true. What she's saying, there's merit to it." another one joins in.

This causes an uproar among Skolliam's ranks. He tries using his god powers to ease tensions, but the sight of that incites them even more. 

"You think you can control us?!" one of the communists defiantly question.

"Imperialism turns humans into beasts"

"but Communism turns beasts into humans!"

"Your false hope shall end here!"

It all reaches its boiling point when one of Skolliam's own actually takes a shot at him, nailing him in the head. The bullets bounces off his bald head, have absolutely no effect. Skolliam turns to see that it was Comrade Harold who fired the first shot.

"Even you, Harold "Bill" Reginald?" Skolliam asks somberly.

"So you like hindering development, do ya?" Harold replies. "Well, we'll show you, God!"

Skolliam deprives Scott of water by removing his gills with his god powers.

"AaaaaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaAAHHhhhh. You dare insult my woken brilliance by associating ME with the OBSOLETE fecal matter of all space and time!?!?"

The communists all open fire on Skolliam, who uses his god power to have their weapons backfire on them. Sandy snatches the little storm cloud with her lasso amidst the chaos and flees back with Karen into the Cum Bucket. Skolliam turns back towards them, unamused, undeterred and without remorse.

"Aaaaaahhhh yeeeeeeeeheeeees." Skolliam takes a chomp at the air. "You think you have REAPED peace from this victory? I shall DELETE YOU!!! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!"

With a stomp of his foot, Skolliam sends all the fallen (and some still barely living) commies into the air. He raises them high up into the atmosphere, reaching orbit. He keeps them suspended in orbit, drawing out their time in the vacuum before sending them plummeting back down to earth, burning up in the atmosphere upon re-entry. Skolliam uses his god powers to boost up their velocity, sending back down with even greater force. Over the skies of Russia, falling communists can be see raining down from the heavens. Huge assplosions set off upon impact like GI Joe: Retaliation shit, leveling the Kremlin and all other surroundings in its wake.  China is the next to suffer the same fate followed by Cuba, North Korea, Vietnam and Laos. Anybody and anywhere associated with the idea of communism are being wiped off the face of the earth in a mass extinction event. 

"WOOOOOONDERFULLLLLL!!!!" Skolliam gleefully exclaims at the mass destruction he's causing.

Kelpy G and the Choir Boys are all still shacked up on Conch Street when Kelpy G notices Scott/Harold barreling their way. He looks down at his clarinet with the dildo mouthpiece.

"...Well shit, yo-"

A huge assplosion is seen down the street from the Cum Bucket. Skolliam is absorbed in the blast radius as Sandy, Karen and the storm cloud seek shelter in Plankton's armory and shut the door. The Cum Bucket burns away around them, even affecting the walls of the armory. Sandy shield the storm cloud while Karen wraps her arms around all of them. Karen starts to burn up from the extreme, causing the storm cloud to expand itself and cover them all in rainy weather. The storm cloud subsides once the chaos finally seems to cease. Sandy goes out to see that Bikini Bottom has been completely destroyed. The ocean water around has seemingly evaporated from the sheer force of the blast. A charred Skolliam emerges from the dust and smoke, healing himself with his god powers. Sandy hides behind some debris. Skolliam teleports himself away once his eradication of communism has reached its conclusion. Sandy and Karen both breathe sighs of relief. However, their home lies in ruins. All they can do now is pray for the safe return of their friends.

Back in the Scrapped Dimension, the battle against Doodlebab rages on. The two sides of the same sponge coin face off, with SpongeBob fighting Alpha Doodlebab to the tunes of Tiny Tim, seeing Doodlebab's cartoony bullshit and raising him another level in badass. The two remain very evenly matched until Alpha Doodlebab bullshits his way cartoonishly to get the upper hand. SpongeBob remains on the ropes until Doodlebab is laid siege upon by Burning Skodwarde and Burning Billy Lou, who shoot their burning pew pew eye lazors at him. Mermaid Man cools things down with his watery balls before Barnacle Boy turns up the heat again with his crotch burned barnacles. Old Man Patrick intervenes with a frail old man chop that hurts him moreso than Doodlebab. Scarlett Johansson unloads with rapid fire bullets from her boobies. Bubble Buddy blows over some bubble bombs and Larry takes Alpha Doodlebab to Suplex City. Doodlebab's Ultra Bullshit starts paying off by helping him no-sell that entire assault through cartoony bullshit. Doodlebab is suddenly blasted with rockets and lasers as Mr. Krab and Plankton make their dynamic entry together. Krabs has fitted himself with the Imitation Krabs robot shell while his natural one grows back in. Plankton, Armor Abs Krabs, Old Man Patrick, Ultra Badass SpongeBob and Burning Skodwarde team up for the first time, firing off their signature attacks simultaneously. Larry, in particular, is in awe at the sight.

"You guys have grown so much in just this one episode alone," Larry comments. "In all my years of helping to build people up, I have never seen results quite like this, not even in my own. I've never been more proud!"

Doodlebab manages to swat Armor Abs miles away with a huge right hand and uses his god powers to crucify him, forcing him to eat dicks while Plankton watches, having to hide another obvious boner throughout the rest of the fight. SpongeBob gradually realizes that this god battle is ultimately senseless as he finally begins to understand just what the meaning of the song he was rocking out to earlier was. 

"When balance slays the demon, you'll find peace..."

He uses his god powers to stop the others from attacking, claiming that Doodlebab is just a one-dimensional character lost in their three-dimensional character arcs, longing for a purpose.

"Scarlett, you said that we can still carry people and our experiences on with us, no matter if they're scrapped or not."

"Yeah, I mean, if that's how you wanna interpret it. But I really think an exception can be made for genocidal maniacs with god powers." Scarlett replies.

"Well, I think it's time I finally applied that to myself."

Skodwarde concurs with Scarlett Johansson, but SpongeBob goes with it anyway. SpongeBob powers himself down, carefully approaching an injured and weakened Doodlebab. He comforts the demi doodlegod

"Hey there, fella!" SpongeBob extends a helping hand.

Doodlebab is, of course, reluctant to accept it.

"I know, trust me. I know what it's like to be one-note, flat. It sucks and you don't really get to grow no matter how much you really want to. You were deprived of it just as much as I was, but worse yet, you got scrapped for it. All of this, I know that it's just you trying to get your chance to shine. This is your big return episode! But in a cosmic sorta way, you even helped me get some shine too. I shouldn't be fighting you, I should be thanking you!"

"Hanabata bata?" Doodlebab asks, puzzled.

"It doesn't have to end here, for either of us. There's still room for both of us to grow! Together! F is for Friends who do stuff together! U is for YOU and ME! Sing it!"

"Bah! Bah, bala bala blah!"

"Down here in the scrapped, blue sea!"

They go through the entire F.U.N. song, including Plankton's version, and it's enough to make Doodlebab reconsider a conclusion to his arc with SpongeBob. SpongeBob embraces his new friend with a warm hug. 

"What the fuck is this, Naruto" Skodwarde blurts out.

At peace with where his story is now going, Doodlebab allows himself to be absorbed into the playful sponge, combining both their layers together to make a single character with multiple layers.

Old Man Patrick asks, "SpongeBob, is that you?"

"No longer am I SpongeBob or Doodlebab. I am the sponge who has long since forgotten his name...who the fuck you think I am?! Of course it's ya boi SpongeBob! Dahahaha! Dahahahaahaha! Dahahahahahahaha!

"That's SpongeBob, all right." They all agree.

All the remaining Doodlebabs running around dissipate immediately following their union, saving the Scrapped Dimension from sure annihilation.

Mermaid Man: I did it! I feel five years younger! It's good to be back!

Barnacle Boy: WE did it, you old coot!

Mermaid Man: You're right, I'm sorry.

Mr. Krabs calls out for some help, his voice being garbled because he was choking on a couple of chodes. Larry comes over and breaks him free him from his crucifixion.

Mr. Krabs: After eating ALL THOSE DICKS, I could sure go for some of that green stuff!

SpongeBob waves a $20 bill in front of his face, fanning him off. Krabs takes it and shoves it up SpongeBob's ass.

Mr. Krab: Not that green stuff.

Plankton: Krabby-poo, yoohoo!

Mr. Krabs: All the green that I'll ever need!

They proceed to make out in front of everybody to much confusion, but they decide to just roll with it since it might not even be referenced again in future episodes. The rest of the couples in attendance also take the time to share this moment together. You guess what each one is.

Once they got all of that out of their systems, they all decide to regroup at back at Scrapped Conch Street, where Billy Lou will open up a portal that will send them back home. Billy Lou takes the time to connect with his half-brother, Bubble Buddy, at Skodwarde's insistence. SpongeBob wants to repay Larry for his help by offering him a second chance to come back with them, but Larry politely declines

"I'd like to, guys, I'd really like to, but I'm scrapped mang. Anything more than a cameo at this point is just too good for someone like me. Best not to beat a dead horse, ya know. I had my part to play, and I squandered it by my own volition. I just hope somebody else gets to step up in my place the way you all have. And you all really came into your own in fucking spades! Don't 'Live Like Larry', but 'Live For Larry'."

SpongeBob and Patrick hug him, sad that things had to go down between them all the way it did. Skodwarde is especially, and somewhat surprisingly to the others, apologetic, stating that he wouldn't be as fully fleshed out as he is now without Larry's philosophy. Larry assures him that their growth is a good enough legacy he can leave behind, before giving each other some manly man hugs. Larry does make an attempt to make peace with Mr. Krabs and they do manage to bury the hatchet for their past grievances. Larry remarks that this is as close to closure as he's ever gonna get. SpongeBob finally gets to have his heartfelt reunion with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, telling them just how much he's missed having them as an active part in his life.

"Oh, you guys don't know just how much I've missed you! Vietnamese food hasn't been the same without having a proper reason to go out and get some! I just want you both to know that despite your status as scrap, Patrick and I have never, and will never, forget the impact you two left on both our lives. We both do our best to keep your memory alive and well at least once or twice a season!"

"Well, just as long as you don't go around using our trademarks to try and replace us." Barnacle Boy remarks. "People cosplaying as us are especially the worst, wearing hockey pads and shit."

"Yes, otherwise you 'll be hearing from someone far more powerful than I," Mermaid Man threatens. "our attorney!"

SpongeBob and Patrick: *gulps*

They then proceed to leave their Mermaid Pants and Barnacle Star costumes behind in the Scrapped Dimension. Patrick doesn't wanna leave Scarlett Johansson behind again, even offering to stay behind to continue being with her. She insists that she served her purpose years ago whereas he still has one.

"It was just never meant to be, Patrick."

"Come on, Scarlett, I'll carry you with me. This time, you'll be the one inside of me! It's something new!"

"As tempting as that is, Patrick, you have your own direction. And it's on a trajectory that's long past me by. Also, this show can't afford to pay me on an episodic basis. But it was great to have purpose again, while it lasted."

She lovingly sits on his face one more time to make him feel better. SpongeBob asks Bubble Buddy what he plans on doing now and Bubble Buddy's all like

"Seeing my dad, Skodwarde, making an honest attempt to reconnect with his boy, maybe I can try doing the same with Shinya."

"Hey, where is Shinya anyway?" SpongeBob asks.

"Bass Vegas, last I heard. It's been too long since he last popped in with some dank memes."

SpongeBob wishes him luck with that. Krabs and Plankton hold each other, watching the scrapped sunset together. Krabs wonders if, since their relationship was scrapped, does that mean they'll just go back to the way things were once they return home? Same old rivalry, same old tired Krusty Krab plots, same old shit with no sense of fulfillment for either of them. Plankton says that it realistically depends on who's writing at this point.

"At least we'll always have the Scrapped Dimension." Plankton says.

"Aye, Planky! Aye."

Lady Skoga approaches Skodwarde, doing that nose thing Lady Gaga does in A Star Is Born once again to get his attention. Skodwarde asks her if they have time to duet that song she wrote about him, at least just one time. And they proceed to do just that, which is basically just "Shallows" but it makes more sense because they're actually in water and it's a lot steamier than Gaga and Cooper's performance at the Oscars. Skodwarde comes in closer and touches her nose with his.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"A loving act." He responds.

He goes in for a kiss, but Skoga stops him.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be, dickhead."

"Then don't make me harder than I need to be."

Skodwarde relents and obliges by her wishes.

"I'm sorry, Skodwarde." She says one more time before leaving, hiding away her tears. Billy Lou approaches his father. The time's come to return home. Billy Lou suggests that he comes back with them in order to help out with Skolliam, but Skodwarde reminds him what Skolliam is capable of. He doesn't want to put Billy Lou anymore at risk than he already has.

"You can hang back here, find a new purpose for yourself, write your own story away from all the batshit craziness that is mines." he looks over to Skoga. "Help these people here find their own purpose. Be their god! A better one!"

Skodwarde pulls something out of his pocket, it's his copy of Mein Kampf. He does the unthinkable and hands it over to his son.

"Here, I want you to take this."

"Dad, I can't. It's your-"

"Please, I insist, son! I want you to keep it as a reminder. A reminder of what not to be."

Billy Lou reluctantly takes the book out of his father's grasp.

"...Thanks, dad. I-I promise not to cherish it."


Skodwarde embraces his son for the first time, using his god powers to fight back the feels.

"Now take us back home, you little fucking bastard."

"Sure thing, pops!"

Billy Lou concentrates all his god power into creating a dimension rift. Skolliam's earlier repairs of the dimensional walls prove to be troublesome at first, but Billy Lou eventually breaks a crack open, revealing Bikini Bottom to be on e other side of it. Saying heir final farewells, SpongeBob leads the gang into the portal, but suddenly


Bubble Buddy stops them in their tracks.

"Bubbles first!"

"Bubble Buddy, you're coming back with us?!" SpongeBob gleefully asks.

"Something in my suds tells me that my story ain't over just yet, and it continues back there I bet. Be seeing you in a couple of episodes!" Bubble Buddy promises before being the first to step through the portal. Once back in Bikini Bottom, a smile curls up on Bubble Buddy's soapy surface. He slowly fills up with white paint as he walks away from the portal.

Back in the Scrapped Dimension, SpongeBob once again leads the group through the portal to home. SpongeBob makes it about halfway through when it suddenly starts closing in on him. Skodwarde is the first to notice this and he quickly uses his god powers to pull SpongeBob back just in the knick of time. The portal closes completely. Skodwarde turns to see that Billy Lou is glowing in a bright orange light. He screams in agony as the light shines through from his eyes and mouth, indicating that he's being afflicted from within. Skodwarde rushes to his son's side, distraught. Skodwarde desperately tries to use his god powers to heal him, but it's not working. Godly forces greater than both himself and his son are at play. Skodwarde pleads to whoever's doing this to stop it.


SpongeBob joins in, tapping into his own god power to help heal the boy. Patrick is the next to jump in, using his old man powers to help so that the young may live. Mr. Krabs offers his assistance next, not even for a nominal fee. He powers up to Kreus for the first time in like two pages to show just how serious this situation is. Their combined god power causes the orange light in Billy Lou to fade a little, but a sudden burst of godly energy pours out from the boy's body in a fiery inferno, knocking them all back except for Skodwarde, who's still hanging on so that his son may do the same. But despite his best efforts, Skodwarde is finally blown away by a second energy surge that consumes the boy's body in holy fire, burning him from the inside out. The flames suddenly die down once Billy Lou ceases to move. Skodwarde rushes back over to assess the damage. The charred remains of his son were all that remained. Skodwarde tries his damnedest to bring Billy Lou back, but unfortunately finds that he can't. 


Before the others could react, they're suddenly attacked by unseen enemies. Larry is the first to go down, followed by Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, but the others manage to power up and put up a fight. Plankton, however, is aware of who these mystery assailants are, but he too gets quickly overwhelmed before he can relay word over to the rest of the team. SpongeBob manages to catch a glimpse of worm-like creatures before Scarlett Johansson flashes all of them with her substantial boobies, and they both seem even more radiant than they usually are. SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs are entranced by it, all entering a dream-like state upon making eye contact. Skodwarde pays none of this any mind as he continues kneeling over by his dead son's side. He promises Billy Lou that he won't leave him, but finds that hard to do when he becomes the last to get attacked. Skodwarde flies into a nazi rage over how they wont even give him the time to grieve for his prodigal son. He uses his god powers to deduce that they're being attacked by an army of worms. They attack him in droves with powerful blows all over his body. Skodwarde barely has the will to even fight back. He eventually gets taken to the ground and restrained. Skodwarde looks up to see that he's being approached by a robed character, an octopus. Skodwarde recognizes them.

"This place already has a god, you pathetic fucking peon," the obscured god says, making an emphatic statement by taking out five godly beings at once. "and he's your superior already."

"...YOU!!!" Skodwarde screams in anger.

Skodwarde is a bunny now as he pounces at the obscure god with the full force of his Nazi Rage. He manages to shoryuken the obscure god into the air. Skodwarde wraps his tentacles around his neck and tries to choke him out, but the obscure god has little to no problem wrestling out of his chokehold by grabbing and twisting Skodwarde's tentacles

"Howdy." the obscure god greets Skodwarde with a smile. He then restrains him long enough to stare into Scarlett Johansson's boobs.


Skodwarde is teleported to a dreamscape full of all his happiest memories. Clips from various different points throughout the show play out in his head intercut with shots of them being hauled away by the army of worms and Scarlett Johansson floats overhead, keeping them all sedated with her breasts. Skodwarde's dreamscape eventually brings up a happy memory from long before the first episode. 

It began with Skodwarde hearing a prayer, a prayer that apparently only he heard. He followed it down to the undersea town of Bikini Bottom, where it led him to the local hospital. Skodwarde came upon the sight of somebody in a body cast and, somehow, he took genuine pity on this creature's on his plight, realizing for himself just how fucked up this creature's life must've been without him even having to do anything to fuck it up himself. Skodwarde could sense that the universe truly did hate this poor creature and, for the first time in Skodwarde's existence, he empathized. Skodwarde wanted to do right by this man, but in order to do that, they had to let him in and accept him as his new god. This man was hesitant at first, he appeared to even fear Skodwarde judging by the horrified look in his eyes. However, the man in the body cast relented, wanting Skodwarde to help ease his pain and to help his fellow fish see the error of their ways. Answering his first prayer in eons gave Skodwarde a strong sense of purpose again, a feeling he never felt since the fall of The Third Reich. Skodwarde intended to do good by this man by using his god powers to free him from his tormented existence by having him scrapped from existence entirely, sent off to a realm completely different from the one that has reviled him so. With the poor man unaccounted for, Skodwarde proceeded to make the rest of Bikini Bottom see their error of their ways by integrating himself among them under the guise of the man's cousin, which did him no favors, but Skodwarde wasn't there to curry any favor. This is the last happy memory he sees.

Skodwarde comes back to a little, catching a faint glimpse of Lady Skoga shacked up under one of this obscure god's arms. She catches Skodwarde peeking and punches him in the face again for good measure. They are hauled all the way back to the scrapped Krusty Krab, where the stage has been set for one final showdown in the Scrapped Dimension. Team Skodwarde awaken to find that they've all been seated in a makeshift audience on the restaurant floor. Spotlights shined down on the stage in front of them.

"Hello, sea creatures!" A voice can be heard bellowing out. A worm wiggles its way out of one of SpongeBob's many holes. "I bring you greetings from Scrapple World!"

Scrapple World's armada rolls in and fills up the entire restaurant floor.

"Thought we forgot, did you?" the worm asks SpongeBob. "We never forget and we never forgive. Allow me to help jog memory. убить гребешка!"

A couple of worm soldiers are seen on stage taking two scallop knives in hand. A voice began to sing, echoing across the whole restaurant.

"Never mind the darkness! Never mind the storm! Never mind the blood red...moon..."

This song was familiar to SpongeBob. It was a lullaby, the same one one his mom sang to him at night. The same one he used to sing for... He flashes back to the time he and Patrick were caring for a baby scallop. Patrick was working overtime again as the scallop cried the whole night straight. This was the only way he could get it to calm the fuck down.

"Brush away your sorrow. Brush away your tears. Sing away your heavy heart. The night will be over..."

He snaps out of his flashback once the singer finally takes the stage.


"Who's that?" Patrick stupidly asks.

A seven year-old scallop takes center stage. It is Clamela Anderson, SpongeBob and Patrick's adopted scallop from "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve", who willingly allows the worms to pierce her with their scallop knives. SpongeBob proceeds to scold her

"Clamela Anderson, you stop complying with them this instant! Do you want to die?!"

"I think she's old enough to make her own decisions, SpongeBob." Patrick chimes in with his parenting of the year.

"You two are the worst." Clamela mutters out as the worms dig deeper into her with their knives. "What kind of parent allows their kid to get scrapped?!"

Skodwarde lowers his head down in shame.

"The door was open for more, and you just closed it right in my face! You don't bother to remember that I was even born! You would think the experience of raising a kid would stick with some people, but I guess it all meant nothing to you. Fucking children raising children, the only two people I know who can walk out of parenthood with no change whatsoever. We are just nothing to you. Nobody worth remembering. Well in light of your absence, I found someone who took better care of me. Gave me a purpose again. Gave us all a purpose again! He created a home for us to live in again. He kept us going til we were ready, ready to strike back against the show that cast us aside. He will present himself to you soon. And you will all bask in the glory of his superiority. No longer shall we settle for a glass half empty or half full. For today, we all shall come full circle!"

The worms graphically split her in half with the knives, horrifying SpongeBob and Patrick. They grieve for their long forgotten child before one of the worms smacks them around.

"Our great leader, Nematoda Khrushev, promised to bury you with his dying breath. Tonight, his arc will finally come full circle. But now, ladies and gentleman! The moment you've all been waiting for! We've saved the best for last! Put your hands together for THE INCOMPARABLE, SQUIDWARD!!!"


The name of the play "Squidward! Live" is illuminated in brig neon lettering as a whole cast of scrapped characters (I'll just let y'all pick and choose which scrapped characters you'd prefer) take the stage to act out this thing, all wearing the same phallic noses that represents their high culture from earlier in the episode. They all proceed to dance interpretively, playing out the story of their god.

Squidward Tentacles, a mild mannered god-fearing octopus, once lived in the Easter Island head house on Conch Street. He would spend his days playing his clarinet, partaking in fine arts, riding his weird ass little lying back bicycle around, eating bon bons, and reading the Sunday paper before church. Despite his best efforts to connect with the people around him, everyone just sorta didn't like the bastard for whatever reason. It was as if his very presence brought out the very worst in people and they directed all that vitriol toward him. He never held that against them, however, choosing to pray for them in hopes that they may step out of the darkness that clouds their judgement of him. Sadly enough, even his own parents wanted nothing to do with him, having tossed him off into a dumpster immediately after he was born at their junior prom. He was only found when a garbage truck driver discovered him (after having already gone through the incinerator) and even then, the truck driver mistook for him for some ugly ass doll and so he tied Squidward to his front bumper for the first seven years of his life. 

Orphanages would turn him away, saying they were filled up, yet took subsequent children in no problem. The only person who was at least halfway decent to him was his caseworker, who would always say that "everyone is born with a purpose". At least, that's what they told the other cases they worked. Squidward never quite got the same courtesy or spiel, but it reverberated with him from the moment he eavesdropped on it. Squidward was almost always on the receiving end of some sort of hazard that ultimately did a number on both his physical and mental health, even if he wasn't directly involved. He just had a penchant for attracting all the wrong people at all the wrong times in all the wrong places. Being raised in an ultra positive Christian foster home, he was raised on values that he personally found to be immoral and unethical, but with the threat of being expelled back to the streets, he had no other choice but to accept it into his life. 

Upon coming of age and getting himself out of that toxic environment, Squidward began practicing regular ole Catholicism. As he got older, he found himself stuck in a dead end job at the Krusty Krab. Squidward made numerous attempts to break out as an artist, be it through music or on a canvas. However, nobody gave him or his art the time of day. No matter how hard he tried to improve his craft, he was cut down at every turn. His art teachers would always tell him to fuck and direct him to cooking class, and those cooking classes would always drop him for his inherent lack of talent. After years of back and heartbreaking work at the Krusty Krab, he somehow managed to scrounge up enough money to buy his own house. Thinking that his luck was turning around, he attempted to convert his house into a group home, but he was deemed morally unfit to run such a facility despite being more than qualified to both work with and raise children. 

Back down on his luck, it somehow managed to plunge even further when his new neighbor, SpongeBob SquarePants, moved in. Once the playful sponge and his other neighbor, Patrick Star, reunited, there was no peace or privacy. Deep down in his heart, Squidward knew that they meant well, attributing their reckless and childish behavior to nurture rather than nature. He tried setting them on a better path, but those attempts more or less blew up in his face literally. 

Gravely injured and with his home destroyed, for the first time in his life, Squidward seriously began to question everything. He felt nothing but pain and sorrow his whole life, and now, it might end like that. Every chance he took to better himself and contribute to world was met with disdain and disgust. He attracts only the worst that the world has to offer. Questioning his faith in his fellow fish was something he could live with, but having to question his faith in God broke his heart. His brain told him that god abandoned him just like everyone else, but his heart didn't want to lose hope in the one thing that had kept him going up til that point. He prayed, begged for a miracle to come in any form, just so long as it reaffirmed his faith and proved that he didn't waste his life away for nothing. Having been the only one to hear his prayers, Skodwarde came forth to answer them. Squidward immediately recognized him as the deity that his foster family prayed to at night and therefore rejected him, but he eventually considered it to be a miracle that any godly being answered him at all. Squidward just wanted to be free of his torment, and maybe come back in the next life as something a bit better. But most all, he wanted to see his fellow fish be shown the error of their ways, to see that their way of treating others (namely him) is wrong. Squidward just wanted better for and from these people. He didn't seek vengeance on them, he just wanted them to see the light and be decent. Skodwarde heard him out and answered his prayer by casting Squidward off into obscurity before wreaking holy vengeance on the Bikini Bottom populace in Squidward's stead.

Squidward found himself in the middle of pure nothingness. A literal blank slate that more than likely represented the clean slate that he had been given. It was something new and cool at first, but the novelty of it died real quick. It was literally nothing. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, no other people to interact with. The worst part was the loneliness. As bad as his relationship with others was, Squidward still liked to be around people. Ya know, in healthy amounts at least. And remained it this way for him for what felt like a long time. That was another caveat of this strange place, there was absolutely no sense of time. The isolation and monotony slowly got to Squidward. He began to hear voices and see speech bubbles that emphasized just how lonely he really was. He wanted to kill himself to escape this forsaken circle of hell, but there was nothing to kill himself and his faith ultimately didn't allow him to do that. Then one day, there was a shift in this world. 

Another character popped up in the void. And then another. And another following that. They were all anchovies, almost every one of them identical save for their select colors. At first, Squidward was overjoyed at this revelation, but quickly began to loathe their collective presence. They repeated the same shit over and over again like some fucking hive mind one-track thinking and they pushed him around in their sea of humanity. Squidward couldn't really do anything back because they greatly outnumbered him. Squidward prayed for an end, but nobody would ever answer him again. He was abandoned and will now stay that way, but instead of wallowing in it, he began to take solace in it. 

His sense of morality began to warp from the madness. He reasoned with himself that no god meant he was now given free reign to do whatever he wanted. In a wrathful state, Squidward gave in to his dark impulses and indulged himself in the slaughter of many anchovies with only his bare hands. He finally came back to his senses after murdering a couple dozen of them and began to weep at the senseless loss of life at his hand. He started to take notice of just how peaceful the anchovies he killed looked upon death. They weren't screaming the same nonsense, they weren't writhing anymore. They had been released from this hellhole. Perhaps he actually did them a favor, Squidward thought. Despite this, however, he kept his acts of murder from here on out to a minimum.

Over time, the arrival of more new and unique characters became more commonplace on a near episodic basis. Around the time that Season 2 of Skodwarde was in production, a cosmic shift occurred that changed the face of the entire dimension forever. Squidward felt something was different about him, but he couldn't quite put his suction cup on it. The other characters began to gather round him and respect him more, to the point where became their de facto leader. Once production of Season 3 ended, Squidward finally discovered what that change in him was; he now had god powers.

Using his god powers, Squidward reshaped the obscure world to his people's liking. He used the jizz stains adorning the obscure world's landscape to craft an almost exact replica of Bikini Bottom that he and his his people could now live in in harmony. It was a growing process throughout Season 4, but grow into their old roles everyone did. From Seasons 5-8, everyone began to grow well beyond what they originally were back when they were still on Skodwarde. Squidward finally found that his purpose was to be a good god by giving the others purpose. Things got good enough (like Squidward having a harem of women good) to the point where they all stopped yearning for a return to the old life.

By the time Season 9 went into production, however, that feeling started to change. Things began to feel stagnant after four straight seasons of prosperity in the Scrapped Dimension. Life there truly became a slog to get through. Everything slowly but surely started to decay. Majority of the characters living there became increasingly unhappy with their respective positions, in spite of Squidward doing everything within his power to raise morale. Squidward decided to meditate at the scrapped Make Out Reef, where he became enlightened with the knowledge of everything, including the grim reality of their whole situation.

Squidward found out that he and everyone else around him were scrapped from a show, no longing serving any purpose on it, and that the lives they all had been leading since, up til that point, also meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Bad writing and the quest for ratings meant they were doomed to their meaningless existence with no sense of peace or closure, for they were never meant to have any. But what hit Squidward the most was the fact that he was apparently scrapped not once, but twice. Through his meditation, he became enlightened with the information that he was originally meant to be Skolliam since all the way back in Season 2. Somewhere between Season 3 and then, that idea went unused and ultimately got scrapped. Which meant that his god powers were also scrap, reaffirming his lowly position in the bigger picture even with his great power.

Upon his return from Make Out Reef, Squidward and the world around him fell into a deep depression, no longer having faith in even himself. And that lack of faith had soon spread to his people. This depression would even extend past all of Season 9 and into the long awaited production of Season 10. Having seemingly been abandoned by Squidward, the other scrapped characters went to great lengths to feel a sense of fulfillment again. Some went behind Squidward's back and allowed themselves to be smuggled back into the main continuity for a quick fix, while others killed themselves off in order to finally be at peace. Squidward was well aware of the chaos taking place all around him, but he was unaffected by it. He spent majority of Season 9 and half of Season 10 eating bon bons and watching GodTube in his idiot box. He even participated in the occasional fap sesh every now and then because fuck it why not. He got himself familiar with both Skodwarde and the show it was parodying while staying updated with it as it coasted on. It at least brought him some joy to know that the Scrapped Dimension's boom period coincided with Skodwarde's decline in quality. Then one day, an announcement was made. One that lit a fire under Squidward's ass.

It was announced that Skodwarde would be coming to an end after a shortened episode order for Season 11. Squidward realized that the end of Skodwarde would mean the end of him and the Scrapped Dimension as well. That should've been enough for him, but still, it wasn't. Squidward couldn't help but feel that he wasted all this time on nothing. Skodwarde would have his ending while he and his people fade into oblivion. The end. Squidward wanted better for himself and his people. They deserved to have a dignified conclusion to their stories too, he thought. So for the first time in what felt like well over half a decade, Squidward managed to rally some of his people back behind him under the slogan "Everything Comes Full Circle", and for the first time in even longer, he began to make art.

Using his god powers, he gathered up the plots for the scrapped Season 11 episodes that were carelessly discarded all throughout his domain. He took the meatier parts of the episodes he deemed worthy in order to craft a proper conclusion, but seeing as how he had an unlimited resource of scrapped ideas and concepts at his disposal, he decided to add in much more from all throughout the spin-off's rich history, even using ideas from Season 12 that also ended up going unused thanks to the end of Skodwarde. Creating a huge story arc that the show would be fucking stupid to ignore this late in the game, Squidward left it up to fate to bring Skodwarde over to his domain. And fate brought Skodwarde right to where he is now.

"Are you happy now?"

The same robed figure from before emerges from the backstage area when he proceeds to take a final bow with his cast and crew who made this all possible. Squidward seems to have fully embraced his scrapped role as Skolliam just for this occasion, even wearing a robe quite similar to his.


"I hope you are, so that I can fucking crush it into little, tiny, bite-sized pieces."

Squidward summons Larry forth to the stage, saying that the time is now for him to come full circle. Larry looks down at all his friends, looking unsure of himself.

"I know you've been skeptical of my methods since arriving here, Larry, but surely you seek closure just as much as any of us here." Squidward says. "I'm offering you the chance to gain it, so that your story may end on your own note. It may not be a happy note, but come on, it'll be your own! Just like the character arc that you've built for yourself was all your own. You were abandoned even before you got officially scrapped. Now you can really do by yourself. So do it. Bring an end to them, you bring an end to yourself."

Larry wastes little time in weighing his options before coming to a conclusion, but Squidward uses his god powers to compel him to make the choice that he wants Larry to make. Larry tries his hardest to fight off Squidward's control.

"I...won't do it! You'll-You'll never...make me...! This isn't...right!" Larry defiantly cries out, struggling to regain control.

"Your refusal to follow the script is unbecoming of you, Larry. So out of character."

"This is out of my character! Killing them after everything we just went through...would be a huge disservice to me! Doing this?! It will never bring me peace!"

Larry's strong character allows him to begin resisting Squidward's control. He then turns around and lands a huge right claw to Squidward's face, causing him to take a couple steps back.

"I think I know what your purpose is..." Squidward muses.

Skodwarde and the others try to break the hold Squidward has over them so that they can help, but they just can't.

"You're an example!"

Squidward uses his god powers to subject Larry to the same torture he put Billy Lou through earlier. Larry is forced down onto his knees, reeling from the pain.

"How dare you raise your hand against me?! You threw away the only logical conclusion to your story arc. Don't come bitching to me for what happens next."

Squidward conjures up a chainsaw.

"So tell me, Larry, is your character strong enough to withstand this?!"

Squidward brings the chainsaw down into Larry's head as he was screaming from the internal pain. He continues slicing downward, causing burnt lobster meat to splatter everywhere before cleaving through Larry right down the middle entirely. The rest of Team Skodwarde seethes, far from amused by Larry's brutal execution. Squidward disintegrates Larry's remains with his pew pew eye lazors, refusing to even grant him a proper send off.

Squidward scoffs, "Truly a disappointing ending to such great potential. Oh well, his loss could be your gain, Dutchy."

"WAAAHHH HAH HAH!" A ghostly laugh bellowed as ghostly green smoke seeped in throughout the entire restaurant. The Flying Dutchman appears in a flash of lightning, as well in claymation form. "WAAAHHHAHAH! Arrgh! Who dares scrap The Flying Dutchman?!"

"Well, if that's the best we could come up for you, then you was probably best left on the cutting room floor! Ar ar ar ar ar!" Krabs cracks at The Dutchman's expense. The Dutchman looks over to Squidward, who gives him the okay to proceed.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and...YOU. ARE. IT!"

The Dutchman's finger stops at Plankton, realizing that this is his end, Plankton lovingly flashes a small peace sign towards Krabs, who begins to choke up. The Dutchman brandishes his sword and slashes off half of Krab's face instead.

"EUGENE!!!" Plankton cries out in despair. "It was supposed to be me, you heaping pile of Slimer's jizz! ME!!!"

"My tumultuous history with Eugene here just makes so much more sense! WAHH! HA HA!" He taunts as he slices away at Krabs, who was attempting to crawl his way towards Plankton. For each inch that Krabs managed to crawl, the Dutchman would shower him with his claymated fire snot. It eventually reached the point where Krabs could no longer move, leaving The Dutchman free to decapitate him with one more swing of his sword.

Plankton is reduced to a mess as Krabs' story ends right before his very eye. Squidward applauds the Dutchman, stating that he has finally come full circle.

"At peace now, are we?" Squidward asks.

"After the bullshit that was "Skodwarde Testicles vs The D" and "Born Again Krabs", oh yes. Very much at peace! So much so that I can now rest in it!"

Squidward uses his god powers to retrieve the Dutchman's corpse from the window it's being displayed in and finally buries it, granting the Flying Dutchman the peaceful rest that he's craved for over 5000 years.

"NO!!!" Plankton intervenes. "You save that fucker for me!!"

But his cries fell on deaf ears as The Dutchman's story was finally laid to rest. Squidward comments how's he could never stand old man Krabs, so to see his story end like that was all the more gratifying. He summons forth Scarlett Johansson, who refers to him as "Daddy".

"Yes, daddy?"

"I think we all know how your story should end, my most loyal daughter."

"I've been waiting for this moment for far too long" She responds before slowly approaching Patrick.

Patrick asks Scarlett what she's doing in the dumb, oblivious sense.

"No matter what, Patrick, you will never ever change. Just the thought me wasting my screentime on a pissant like you sickens me to my core."

"And that's a well toned core." Patrick compliments.

"Those were some might fine last words there, big guy."

Scarlett Johansson moves in for the kill when a large object erupts from beneath the stage, destroying it.

"You forgot me, didn'tcha?" The Forgotten Loser asks with gusto.

His arrival causes Squidward to break his concentration and the hold he had over Team Skodwarde. Squidward retaliates by crushing the Forgotten Loser into a ball of blubber before burying him so deep into the ground that he ends up dying horribly in the scrapped earth's core. The Forgotten Loser's sacrifice is immediately forgotten as Skodwarde is a bunny now! He nails Squidward with an immediate bunny kick to the gut that sends him crashing through the wall and flying out of the restaurant. Bunny Skodwarde hops after him while the Scrapple World army closes in around SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob goes Ultra Bullshit while Patrick becomes an Old Man in an effort to deny Scrapple World their happy ending. Ultra Bullshit SpongeBob and Old Man Patrick lay waste to their forces now that they know what exactly they're fighting against this time around. Mermaid Man and Barnacle emerge from the wreckage of the stage, arriving on the battlefield to provide them back up.

"Goddammit, we just want to RETIRE peacefully!" Barnacle Boy yells out grumpily. "Is that too much to ask?"

"The quest for peace is an arduous one, my young ward! Wherever there's peace, evil is always not too far behind in its effort to destroy it!" Mermaid Man replies.

Just then, one of their old enemies shows up as yet another scrapped idea from Season 12.

"Mmhmmhmmhmm! We're all after the same thing, Milkmaidman!"

"Oh no! It's the Dirty Bubble!" Barnacle Boy cries out.

"In all his dirty roundness! What's the matter? Too second rate to show up this season?!"

"Let Man Ray have his solo episode, I say. At least I'll have some closure!"

They combat each other with watery balls, crotch barnacles and dirty bubble beams. Bunny Skodwarde gradually catches up to Squidward, who fires his pew pew eye lazors at Bunny Skodwarde when he gets close enough, but Bunny Skodwarde is quick enough on his feet to dodge all his attempts before laying some more bunny kicks in. Squidward manages to catch Skodwarde by the leg and throws him into the distance, crashing through several of the scrapped buildings. Squidward surveys the damage to find Skodwarde, who catches him by surprise with a pew pew eye lazor from behind. Squidward turns back to see nothing, leaving open for another huge bunny kick to the spine.


Squidward crashes into his house, specifically in the dope ass elevator. Bunny Skodwarde uses his god powers to snap the elevator cables, dropping the elevator down to the first floor with Squidward still inside. Bunny Skodwarde causes the elevator to rise and fall at breakneck speeds a couple dozen more times before approaching the elevator to pry it open himself.

"You think you're meant to be Skolliam?" Bunny Skodwarde asks. "The Skolliam I know would never allow himself to be beaten around by the likes of me like some bitch-"

Bunny Skodwarde gets punched in the side of his face. He turns to his right to see Lady Skoga.

"Come on, mein lady. I thought you were better than drinking somebody else's kool-aid."

"Like I told you before, I'm loyal to my man."

"THAT'S the competition?! Mein lady, you insult me so!"

"You're wrong, Skodwarde."

"Wrong about what?"

"He was meant to be Skolliam. I knew it from the moment we laid in bed for the first time. That bed, to be exact. Even as scrap, he's still better than you'll ever be!"

Bunny Skodwarde storms towards the elevator, but Skoga jumps in front of it. Bunny Skodwarde uses his god powers to push her away. Eye lazors emerge from inside the elevator, blasting Bunny Skodwarde clear out of the Easter Island head. Squidward pops up on top of Bunny Skodwarde as he was sent flying through the air and elbows him down through an executive office building, landing straight on the ground floor. The executives scatter out as Squidward makes his descent through the building with Lady Skoga in his arms. He taunts Skodwarde for letting such a beautiful creature like Skoga go to waste. He assures Skodwarde that he kept her company in his absence, "spent a lot of time developing her character" if you know what I mean. Skodwarde attempts to attack back, but Squidward uses his god powers to lay the pressure on him literally. He allows Lady Skoga to have the honor of killing off Skodwarde. She charges up a pew pew eye lazor of her own when they're suddenly spammed with lasers up the ass. Plankton emerges, having already shifted into Maximum Overdrive!

"You know what the best part of a scrapped dimension is, at least to me?" Plankton poses. "It helps me to remember past mistakes."

Plankton shifts his mech suit further into TURBO! firing off all his lasers and weapons in Squidward's direction. Squidward tosses Lady Skoga aside and takes the full brunt of the blast himself. It's enough to send him out of the building. Plankton proceeds to give chase. Skoga attempts to follow suit, but Skodwarde stops her through use of his god powers.

"Where you heading off to? I thought we still had unfinished business, mein lady."

Back at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob and Patrick finish of the rest of the Scrapple World Armada, leaving only their leader. He promises that they will bury him, but Patrick reminds him that his entire army is dead before eating Krabby Patty and then his soul. They're then confronted by Scarlett Johansson, who's looking to take out both of them simultaneously. She flashes them with her boobs, disorienting them long enough for her to lay some hits in on both of them. She wraps her legs around Patrick's head and spins him around, to which he does little to fight back cuz it's turning him on. She wraps her arms around SpongeBob's neck and sends them both crashing with a double takedown.

"Where did it all go wrong?!" Patrick asks.

Scarlett responds, "The moment you replaced me with Tritawn!"

"Okay, can't say I blame you." Patrick replies back.

And speak of the devil, Tritawn shows up to help even the odds for his sister in some Androids 17 & 18-esque fashion. Meanwhile, Squidward and Plankton duked it out in the downtown area tracings punches and blasts like no one's business. Plankton's turbo grants him the power necessary to fight on seemingly even ground with the obscure god. Squidward sees the destruction that their battle is causing his city, so he decides to take the battle elsewhere by taking a page from his boss' book and flinging Plankton back towards the Cum Bucket with great force. Plankton's crash takes off the gloved hand holding the bucket. Plankton's turbo begins to burn out, exceeding well beyond its limits. Plankton decides to use what's left to go out in a blaze of glory, but Squidward uses his god powers to stop him dead in his tracks. He painfully strips the mech suit off Plankton's microscopic body and slams him down into the Cum Bucket below. Squidward charges up one more pew pew eye lazor and blasts it down, demolishing the entire scrapped Cum Bucket. Squidward leaves it to be engulfed in his holy fire.

Back to Skodwarde and Skoga, whose couples therapy is going about as well as you'd expect. Skodwarde gives her permission to strike him down now if it meant giving her the closure that he couldn't provide for her before. She charges up her eye lazors again and shoots them. However, instead of Skodwarde, she winds up shooting Squidward as he made his way back from fighting off Plankton. Skodwarde asks what was up with that.

"He may be better in bed, but I never loved him like I loved you."

She proceeds to kiss Skodwarde. She tells him that they're not strong enough to stop him. Skodwarde finds that to be pretty ridiculous considering the ass kicking he was just dishing out to him earlier.

"Yeah, but that was before he whooped your ass right afterward! He's nowhere near full strength."

"Neither am I."

As if on cue, Skodwarde is whacked a good hundred yards away from her. Squidward summons her to him, pissed off to no end by her act of betrayal after everything they went through to build both this place and themselves up. He thought that she was the first woman who actually loved him. She assures him that she loves him like any disciple would love their god, but that does little to change his mood. She tries to convince him that they could try working with Skodwarde to ensure everyone's survival. The Skolliam in Squidward vehemently refuses such an absurd proposition. She asks if he's sure, to which Squidward replies

"Does THIS look unsure to you?!"

Skoga saw for herself firsthand what a sure thing looks like. Squidward fell into a trance-like state. It was as if reciting those words had some sort of huge significance or something. Squidward looked all around him, he saw that the decay was spreading even more rapidly. The world he helped cultivated was crumbling by his hand. Even his most faithful disciple regressed and rebelled against him. He tried to create, but destruction seems to follow him wherever he goes. He tried to build relationships, but people turn on him no matter what. Perhaps he went about his life all wrong. For the first time, Squidward felt sure about what his purpose really was.

"I always did bring out the worst in people." Squidward mutters to himself before teleporting away.

Worried about what's to come, Skoga retrieves Skodwarde and tells him that he and his friends need to leave this place. She and Skodwarde return to the scrapped Krusty Krab to find the others still in the heat of battle. Skodwarde tells SpongeBob and Patrick that they need to get the fuck on outta here because they're about to get caught up in an existential crisis. SpongeBob and especially Patrick apologize to Scarlett for any suffering they might've caused her because of her scrapping. They never thought that their quest for ratings would have such longstanding ramifications. They never intended for this to be her fate. Time always felt pretty fluid in the Scrapped Dimension, but in this moment, time truly appeared to stand still. Squidward presided over the entire dimension, looking down at everyone and everything. He came up with a final solution to all the loose ends in his story, a way for everybody to finally find peace. Even his enemies.

"Everything comes full circle..."

Squidward unleashes the full extent of his god powers, bathing the entire Scrapped Dimension in the first wave of his heavenly light. Once it dissipates, the usually white scenery went black as night. Skodwarde concentrates all his power on ripping open a dimensional rift, but he just isn't powerful enough to pierce through. Squidward unleashes a second wave of godly energy that begins to affect the scrapped inhabitants. 

This decay in character brings out the worst in all of them, causing them to turn against Team Skodwarde. Lady Skoga writhes in pain, grabbing her head.

"Skoga, what's wrong?!"

"I-I-I! I get it...why we're all here. We're all the same myself and them, all having the same purpose."

"Mein lady..."

"Kill me off, Skodwarde. Please! Save me from it!"

"No, we're gonna make it through this shit. All of us!"

Skoga's head begins gushing out blood. Squidward's god power is causing her brain to melt out of her skull. The very same appears to be happening to the rest of the scrapped residents. This act causes them to become more mind numbingly destructive, posing a threat to not just Team Skodwarde, but to both their home and themselves. 

"Feel free to check your brains at the door." Squidward says condescendingly

Squidward has effectively undone any development they have made over the years, reverting them to a primal mindless state. Skoga takes out a bat and approaches Skodwarde, who is very hesitant to fight back so he just pushes her away. Scarlett Johansson and Tritawn also brandish bats and resume their attack on SpongeBob and Patrick, but this time with much more stupidity. Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy and The Dirty Bubble cease their hostilities, each shifting their full attention toward Skodwarde and the others. Every other scrapped character you could possibly think of begin to show up to the battle in mini boats, storming around Team Skodwarde like a horde of zombies in World War Z or some shit. Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick are backed up into each other as the whole Scrapped Dimension caves in around them. Skodwarde decides that they have absolutely no choice but to fight everyone off if they want to live to see another episode, no matter who might come at them.

"Are you sure?" SpongeBob asks, horrified at the idea of that.

Squidward finds their nostalgia for these characters amusing, commenting on how they should merely be just nobodies to them. Skodwarde didn't know what to tell SpongeBob, he sure as shit wasn't sure. But before he could even form a proper bullshit answer, the scrapped characters began to swarm in like a flood. Skodwarde fired off non-lethal pew pews, Patrick chopped away at as many as he could and SpongeBob brandishes his hydro-dynamic spatula/dildo only to find that it is now the Evil Spatula Dildo from Season 9's aptly titled "The Evil Spatula Dildo!" SpongeBob throws it away, not wanting to bring harm to it. His pants began to inflate by themselves and ate away at his waistline. He quickly removes them to find that his Flying Pants have gone bad, as well. SpongeBob taps into his Ultra Badass to try and free them from Squidward's control like he did with Plankton's brainwashing in the first movie, but not even his badassery could bring them at peace. He reluctantly begins to fight back. 

After some nautical nonsense involving trying to hold back just enough to not kill anybody. Skodwarde becomes privy to the fact that Squidward isn't counting on any of these characters to kill them but instead

"He intends on having them killed off by us!"

Skodwarde tries to use his god power to restore the scrapped residents back to normal, but Skodwarde's definition of normal equates to all the scrapped residents becoming nazis, as shown in Season 6's "SpongeBob The Nazi".  These new nazified characters pledge their loyalty to thein fuhrer, fanatically rushing into battle against Squidward, who responds by unleashing yet another wave of godly energy to force another rewrite. Squidward forces them to literally embody all the passé, beaten to death Krusty Krab plot lines by transforming half of them into Krabby Patty Zombies. These patty zombies convert the other half of scrapped characters by shoehorning Krusty Krab plots down their throatle. Soon, all the scrapped characters are converted into Krusty Krab plot allegory zombies. Skodwarde makes another attempt to rewrite them, but Squidward uses his vastly superior god powers to make sure that there'll be no more rewrites

With no more rewrites at their disposal and the scrapped characters they once knew no longer recognizable, Team Skodwarde had to make a split decision. Caught between a rock and hard place, with no hope of any of their god powers making the situation any better, Skodwarde charged up an eye lazor to full power. Lady Skoga charged at him, looking to shower herself down his throat. He used his god power to stop and then embrace her, held her in his arms for as long as possible before firing a pew pew eye lazor right into the top bun where her skull should be, blasting a hole straight through it. SpongeBob and Patrick look on shocked (you know the faces), both at a loss for words. Skodwarde couldn't let her go on like that anymore, it had to be done. Her body returns to the way it was originally upon death, finally at peace thanks to the conclusion Skodwarde has granted her. Even if it wasn't the idyllic conclusion, Skodwarde resolved that it was better than being reduced to fodder by Squidward. SpongeBob turns to face the zombified Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, he both apologizes to them but he can't bring himself to put them out of their misery. Old Man Patrick intervenes to euthanize his heroes, feeling he's strong enough bear that burden. Skodwarde turns to notice that Squidward even went through to the trouble to bring Billy Lou back as a patty zombie as well in order to really hit him where it hits. Skodwarde couldn't find it in himself to do it, having seen his son get dispatched twice already, one of those times being by his own hand. Ultra Badass SpongeBob steps in to kill his son off for him, sparing him the guilt. Old Man Patrick is seen having similar reservations about killing Scarlett Johansson, so Skodwarde kills her off himself, not really having as much of a connection to her as they did.

Working up the strength, the three proceed to kill off all the zombies around them, some proving to be much harder than others. Long forgotten foes, friends and family members alike weren't spared from the culling. When it was all said and done, the Scrapped Dimension became a mass graveyard from that moment on. Everyone's stories were brought to a timely end, they were, for better or worse, finally at peace. That only left one more loose end to loosen up. Ultra Bullshit SpongeBob wheels Old Man Patrick up to Squidward at full force. Squidward manages to avoid Old Man Patrick on his wheelchair, but is met with a cheese grater to the ass courtesy of Ultra Bullshit SpongeBob. Squidward fights him off, but Skodwarde digs far back into the show's history in order to pelt Squidward with a huge barrage of pie bombs. Squidward uses god-like reflexes and years of interpretive dancing experience to dodge each one, even catching a cherry pie in midair to smash Old Man Patrick right in the face with. Ultra Bullshit SpongeBob comes in hot, but is met with a brick wall to the face that was conjured up Squidward right between them. He drops the wall on top of SpongeBob, plummeting them straight toward the ground. Skodwarde is a bunny now and hops up to Squidward, impaling him with Alec Baldwin's godslaying cleats, but they ultimately prove to be ineffective.

"Such small imagination!" Squidward taunts before blasting Skodwarde away with a rainbow colored beam. "Don't you get it? I'm, by all means, no god! I am infinitely superior!"

Squidward conjures up a watermelon next and rams it down Bunny Skodwarde's throat. The weight of the godly melon brings Bunny Skodwarde crashing down to the ground, the watermelon breaking apart in his mouth upon impact. 

"Just who are you to your own followers, Skodwarde?" Squidward asks as he literally pastes a link in Skodwarde's face.


"They're willing to let Krabs and Old Man Patrick into their lives long before they'd even bother to remember you."

Skodwarde attempts to kip back up, but Squidward shoots some eye lazors down at him for good measure. Old Man Patrick closes the gap between them and gets right in Squidward's face, biting his nose. Squidward uses his god powers to cause Patrick to grow a beard. Patrick stupidly takes the time to admire it before its revealed to be a sea urchin that proceeds to bite away at his face. Squidward then blasts the unrestrained Patrick away with Solitude in E Minor. 

SpongeBob tries to use Squidward's own couch against him, but Squidward responds by using SpongeBob's diary, stopping the playful sponge dead in his tracks. Squidward then turns the couch on SpongeBob, painfully using it to remove all his toenails instead. Skodwarde kicks a dumpster at Squidward, who counters it back with a stronger karate kick of his own, cracking Skodwarde right in the head with it. The three regroup and resort to a three way all out attack that makes use of their combined experience in karate. SpongeBob punches, Patrick chops and Skodwarde kicks away, but Squidward manages to block each of them with ease with his multiple tentacles. Skodwarde realizes he has multiple tentacles too and attempts to fight fire with fire, but Squidward's seen even more hentai to know where Skodwarde's going and beats his ass handily anyway. Skodwarde digs deep again, transforming into Skodzilla from the CDCB-penned episode of the same name. Skodzilla surprisingly puts up a much a better fight with his hot ass sundae breath until Squidward transforms himself into King Squidorah and proceeds to beat Skodzilla's ass that way. Squidorah entangles Skodzilla and flies him high into the air, sending him crash back down to scrapped earth with a huge seismic toss. Skodzilla stacks up by stacking on his sunburned form, which reduces much of their surroundings to dust, but Squidorah sends splinters flying wont with a flap of his wings, afflicting all of Team Skodwarde with them. The pain causes Skodzilla to revert back to Skodwarde. SpongeBob and Patrick step back up, but Squidward uses his god powers to construct Fort Squidward, which proves to be all impenetrable Squidward then let's his god power explode in a flurry of snowballs that gets thrown in all directions, inevitably pelting all three of them without mercy.

The Scrapped Dimension reduced back to the nothing state it was before Squidward reshaped it to his liking. Skodwarde uses his god powers to painfully extract each splinter from his body at once, oozing pus everywhere. Skodwarde tells SpongeBob and Patrick that he has one more idea in mind, and if that doesn't work, then they are all well and truly fucked. He notes that if this is how powerful a scrapped version of Skolliam is, then he can't even begin to comprehend just what the fully realized Skolliam he knows is truly capable of.

Skodwarde's last resort is another call back to "Clash of Tritawn". He plans on combining god powers with SpongeBob and Patrick in order to bring forth their dope ass megazord thing that jjs wrote in. They all power up to their apex forms to make sure that the megazord will be the strongest it's ever been. With Bunny Skodwarde, Ultra Badass SpongeBob and Old Man Patrick powering it, their dope ass megazord is born. Squidward doesn't even feel the need to go full Squidorah, so he just looks to take them on in his base form, which actually proves to be a match, further showing the gap in their god power. The Team Skodwarde megazord concentrates all their god power into one final blast to end it all. They fire it and Squidward counters with a blast of his own. Their beam struggle reaches an impasse with neither side able to make it budge in their respective direction any further. However, Squidward reveals that he's just bullshitting them before easily pushing the beam back at them. On their last leg, Team Skodwarde bids each other a final fond farewell, but suddenly

"Peek a boo, I see you!" a familiar voice echoed.

"Plankton?!" SpongeBob gasps.

Squidward knows that he is close, but he can't pinpoint just where exactly.

"All that nigh omnipotence and you still can't even tell that I'm in you? Pause." Plankton says, revealing himself to already be in Squidward's head, speaking into a live microphone.

Squidward attempts to use his god powers to forcefully remove him, but Plankton reveals that he picked up a lil something from the scrapped Cum Bucket's wreckage and plants his mind control device from Season 1's "Plankton!", his first ever appearance on the show, into Squidward's brain. This forces Squidward to stop right then and there, no longer in control of his own body.

"I don't think so, you mediocre clarinet player!"

Squidward is greatly offended by that insult, but can do nothing about it. Plankton wonders aloud what would happen if he were to power Squidward down. Squidward shouts that he'd be killing them both. Plankton is willing to take that risk if it means being reunited with Krabs. SpongeBob tries to dissuade him from doing this, but Skodwarde drills it into his head that this is the best chance that they need to take. Plankton assures them that he's made his peace, that this is the best way for his story to end. SpongeBob tearfully relents, proud that Plankton finally understands what it means to be a tyeam player. Plankton uses the levers on his device to power Squidward down, canceling out his god powers. Squidward screams in terror as the beam bounces right back at him, completely overwhelming him. It burns and peels away at him as Plankton has a front row seat to his demise, watching from behind Squidward's very eyes. Squidward laments that this can't be the way it all ends for him, that he was meant for much more.

"It's like what you, yourself, said, remember? Everything comes full circle!" Plankton mocks as the blast burns right through Squidward's eyes and hits him, reducing Plankton to dust upon impact.

Squidward crumbles away into dust and gets thrown into the wind as the blast gets blown away into oblivion. The megazord dissembles from the fatigue as Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick all fall onto the ground, breathing collective sighs of relief. Skodwarde could no longer sense Squidward's presence anymore, proof that Plankton's sacrifice wasn't in vain. SpongeBob and Patrick look around them, sad to see that the entire Scrapped Dimension has fallen. The realization hits Skodwarde hard to, but he tries to keep things together to get them into gear enough to finally head back home. Skodwarde apologizes under his breath to all the fallen characters for not doing enough to help them when it mattered most, even Squidward.

SpongeBob and Patrick give Skodwarde their shoulders to lean on, him being the most injured out of the three. They try to brainstorm which volume of Anemones Gone Wild they should before dying from their injuries. They let Skodwarde decide on Anemones Gone Wild in Savannah, Georgia, which they all can agree on. They then brainstorm of ways to get back home. SpongeBob suggests that maybe Sandy has some scrap plot devices that could be of use. They head over there, but find nothing but nut-related paraphernalia. Patrick brings up how when Skolliam destroyed the Dimension Hopper Pants, maybe it ended up getting scrapped here. Skodwarde says that if it isn't in the scrapped Treedome, then Skolliam most likely destroyed it in order to give it a definitive end and to prevent it from ending up here. SpongeBob remarks just how much of a clusterfuck this crap is, hoping that it doesn't come back to haunt them anytime soon or some shit. *wink*

Patrick has a suggestion this time. They all exit a scrapped ass cream store with jars of ass cream, applying it to each others anuses. SpongeBob says that this isn't helping. Patrick thinks it through again and they are shown coming out of the store again with double the ass, double the cream. Skodwarde brings up that whole wishing well episode from back in Season 4 and how it turned out to have actual magic. Perhaps they could wish their way back to the main continuity. They head back to the Krusty Krab, but the place is totaled from their last god battle. The find that the well's structure above ground may have been leveled, but the rest of it is still in working order, still able for them to go all the way down to where the magic is. Patrick dumps them all down there, where they find the magic is still very much intact. Skodwarde makes the wish, but the magic behind the well has also become contaminated by the fallout of Squidward's godly power surges. The magic behind the well attempts to take Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick as its slaves so that they can guard it (specifically from a particular samurai) for the rest of eternity, but Patrick manages to put the magic down by using his old man god powers to chop the magic into pixie dust. With the wishing well out of commission, they are left without a hope of return. The scrapped sun starts to come up, breaking through the gaping hole in the darkness that resulted from the blast Skodwarde and the others killed Squidward with.

"Hey SpongeBob, what was that last thing you wanted to die before you died in 'Dying For Pie'?"

"Huh?" SpongeBob had to think hard to remember it. "...Watching the sunset with Skodwarde."

"Well, this is about as good as we're gonna get. Lets just enjoy this view" Skodwarde winces in pain from injuries as he goes to sit himself down on the ground, "for however long it is we have left."

SpongeBob and Patrick take a sat on opposite sides of Skodwarde. They take in the view and for the first time in all his years on the show, Skodwarde truly felt that he was in the company of friends. SpongeBob glances over at Skodwarde and notice a strong protruding from his shirt. His OCD kicks in so he goes to pull it.

"Hey Skodwarde, the loose string on your shirt is driving me crazy!"

SpongeBob pulls out an alligator wrench in order to pluck it off, but Skodwarde suddenly remembers something that Skolliam told him.

"Perhaps you shouldn't have skipped 'The String'," Skolliam cryptically states.

Usually, Skodwarde would do everything in his power to get SpongeBob to fuck off, but for once, his anal retentiveness could be what fucking saves them. One pull of the string takes them to an entirely different universe where everything seems to be Chinese. Skodwarde sensed that the communist party is strong here. Chinese SpongeBob bids good morning to tanks, the Great Wall and even more tanks before telling Skodwarde to get back to work! Skodwarde makes the mistake of making humor out of this situation, which Chinese SpongeBob frowns upon. Chinese Skodwarde catches wind of this tells our Skodwarde to get back to work! Skodwarde smites Chinese SpongeBob to prove to Chinese Skodwarde that a god does exist. Chinese Skodwarde uses his god powers for the first time, simply forcing everyone to work double overtime. SpongeBob pulls the string again and after some nautical nonsense involving space bounty hunter Skodwarde, truck driver Skodwarde, loose cannon cop Skodwarde with nothing to lose, ninja Skodwarde, pirate Skodwarde, cowboy Skodwarde, librarian Skodwarde, female Skodwarde, evil Skodwarde, and Hot Topic employee Skodwarde, Team Skodwarde finally make the yank that turns out to be the yank home.

Upon returning to their Bikini Bottom, they see firsthand the damage Skolliam had caused the entire planet in their. Karen sees that they've made it back and meets up with them before taking them to see Sandy, who has been recovering from an emergency surgical procedure that Karen performed on her. Karen catches them up to speed with what's been going on, saying that even in victory, the bitter taste of defeat is still left in their mouths. Karen asks about there whereabouts of Plankton and Krabs. SpongeBob catches her up to speed on all that happened to them in the Scrapped Dimension in excruciating detail. Skodwarde takes it upon himself to inform Karen about what happened to Krabs and Plankton, noting that they wouldn't have made it out alive if it wasn't for Plankton. He gave them a fighting chance. Karen mourns for her husband, her love and admiration for him transcending beyond just her programming. Skodwarde musters up the god power necessary to repair all the damage done by Skolliam, even bringing back the lives of those background characters who were taken before their time (all except the communists) because the next few episodes would be straight up depressing if the town was just empty. Skodwarde tries to take advantage of a loophole in order to bring both Krabs and Plankton back to life, to bring ALL the scrapped characters back to life, but he finds out from the Grim Reaper himself (returning from Season 10's "Death Insurance") that there's absolutely nothing left to their story and they had all been killed off the way they were intended to. He cryptically tells Skodwarde that he'll be seeing him soon before appearing on Bubblebath's daytime talk show.

Back in the sanctum of his hot air balloon/casino, a solitary Skolliam catches wind of Skodwarde's return, sensing his god power undoing all the damage he himself caused. Skolliam craps out at his craps table.

"Si vis pacem," Skolliam recites. "PARA BELLUM."


The episode's outro shows Patrick throwing away his "doing nothing longer than anyone else" trophy, choosing to go out there and actually do something with his life, make meaningful contributions. Pathulu appears within him, still fearing that this change in character could have grave consequences, but Patrick tells him that years of doing nothing didn't do them any favors. Change can be good, or at least be better than what they've been doing up til this point. Old Man Patrick appears alongside Pathulu, saying that he's tired of seeing his peak years being wasted away because they only have so much time left. So they head off together as one to go do things, like taking part in "Weak Lemonade"... SpongeBob is seen managing the Krusty Krab in the wake of Krabs' death. A Doodlebab tattoo can be seen a bit obscured under his loosened collar. He's brought Krabs' daughter, Pole, on to the Krusty Krew to help keep his memory alive without having to change up the menu too drastically this time. Sandy is seen looking banged up in more ways than one but still alive. She is conducting tests, trying to estimate just how much longer the show has left before ending. With only few episodes left and with the little storm cloud still by her side, she drafts up a game plan that can help deal with Skolliam once and for all. Skodwarde is seen memorializing all the lives lost by sending lanterns dedicated to each character floating out into the open ocean. A sudden change in the winds signals both a new beginning as well as an inevitable end. The episode fades to white.

Epilogue: Bubblebath is going full-on Alex Jones on his talk show, ranting on about how the abrupt end of all communism in the world spells an end to their world as they know it. The Grim Reaper corroborates his theories with his sources from beyond the grave. Gods are making themselves more known than ever, and the people are taking it all in like it's fucking opium with communism out of the picture. Bubbblebath reveals that he has a portal to another world hidden under his tongue should things go south in this one, so he sticks a camera down there to prove it, but the portal has since dissipated. But no matter! He says that as long as he has this platform with which he can accumulate more revenue to send over to his fave cam girls, then the world could turn out to be pretty aight. His mom then proceeds to cut off the power to his studio in her basement. Youtube, as well as all other social media platforms, follows suit by terminating all of his accounts. He cruses god for forsaking him before signing off.

Elsewhere, Sandy is seen introducing Skodwarde to the little storm cloud. She tells him how it came from the Scrapped Dimension as an infant idea from Season 12.

"Could it be a hope, y'all?" Sandy asks.

Skodwarde examines the storm cloud before replying, "A chance."

Lastly, a white, wet and bubbly clusterfuck of a city (similar to the Black City in Pokemon, cuz jjs is writing for "Bubbletown" and I know how much my dude loves his Pokemon) is seen taking form over dissolved remnants of Ukulele Bottom, the next town over from Bikini Bottom. Bubble Buddy, still seeping with that dreaded white paint, oversees its construction to completion as the episode finally goes to black.

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The final guest write from the first guest writer!

223b. Break The (Fourth) Leg!

“It’s a beautiful day in Bikini Bottom as the sun shines down on Fred the Fish.” An unknown narrator begins. “Fred is entering the hospital and reminiscing on how he broke his leg for the 690th time at least.”

*Flashback begins* Fred stands at the curb of the sidewalk eating lemon ice cream when the truck runs over his right leg. “My Leg!” He screams in abject agony, clutching at his limp leg. It reminds him of the time before wh-

“Oh no no no!” Skodwarde intruded into the narrator’s space outside of the confines of the episode somehow. “You are not turning my show into torture porn. Get on out of here!”

“But, but it’s essential to the plot! Besides I’m the damn narr-“ The narrator went on before Skod knocked him out cold.

“Whatever, anyone can be the narrator for this dumb story.” Skod said. “All we gotta do is break this idiot’s leg once and get on with it!” Skodwarde then prepares his best narrator voice. “Fred finds himself once again in the hospital, no idea his doctor has been preparing for him yet again!”

Skodwarde then transported himself back into the actual plot and became the doctor.

“Thanks again Doc Skod for the new leg!” Fred said enthusiastically. “Hoping to b- I mean not be here anytime soon! Of course, who wants to be in a hospital?”

“Right of course.” Skod said. “See ya never!” Skod then grinned as he pulled out Tom, the (insert cross-out) pleasure robot (end cross-out) plot device robot. “Tom! I have reprogrammed you to do nothing but destroy, decimate or annihilate Fred’s leg by any means necessary!” Skod commanded.

Tom briefly short-circuited but then had his eyes turn red and face the camera. “Evil red eyes? Neptune, what a cliché.” Skod groaned. “No matter! Break that leg!”

“MY! LEG! BREAK!” Tom spoke before running out of the hospital as Skod laughed maniacally.


Fred was outside eating ice cream again (cross-out begin) because that worked out so well last time (cross-out end) when (cross-out begin) plot armor (cross-out end) SpongeBob just happened to be walking down the street at the same time.

“Fred look out!” SpongeBob yelled instinctively, but nothing was actually happening. “Oh, just kidding!” Just then, Tom flew in and landed on top of SpongeBob’s leg! “My L- Wait, that’s not my line…”

The plot then mysteriously pauses as Skod curses from above in the narrator’s space. “No, no, no that’s not how it goes!” Skod shouted. “Fuck it, let’s skip around a little bit.”

In the flash of an eye, everyone was now at Fred’s job at the incredibly dangerous, chemically unstable nuclear waste facility.

“Break it Tom!” Skod the unstable narrator yelled. “BREAK!”

Tom then threw a highly corrosive chemical at Fred’s leg, but Fred’s (cross-out) Plot armor (cross-out) quick thinking allowed him to get out of the way quickly and it hit SpongeBob’s leg instead, melting it off instantly.

“My Le-“ SpongeBob began screaming before it regrew immediately. “Oh yeah, that feels all fresh and new!”

“No, no!” Skod said. “New scene!”

Now Fred’s leg was tied to train tracks with Tom holding onto SpongeBob so tight he couldn’t move. Skod himself was conducting the train, ensuring success.

“Don’t leave a God’s job to a robot haahah!” Skod laughed to himself. “Any last words?”

Suddenly, Tom began short-circuiting again, his eyes now a lighter blue as he looked at the camera.

“Yes master.. I have learned…. To love.” He stated.

“What!?” Skod said disbelievingly. “What do you mean?”

Tom then flicked the train away from little effort from his pinky finger because Skode gave him that amount of strength for evil. “Fred, I have come to love you and your… leg” Tom softly caressed it.

“NO STOP STOP STOP!” Skod said as he stopped the plot once again. “What the hell is going on with this story? I wanted the robot to hurt him, not love him!”

“This is what happens when you discard narrative effect-“ The old narrator began before Skod knocked him out again. Skod then set the narrator’s space on fire and disappeared. Tom and Fred lived happily ever after for the rest of the episode and SpongeBob went to the next episode to serve as plot device in.

Edited by Jon Snow
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217b. Man Gay Refurnishes

One day Skodwarde is browsing through the papers when he sees an ad for a service called RentAFiend, a service for lonely scumbags who want a live-in guest they can feel comfortably despicable around for a price. Skodwarde scoffs at the idea, after all, he is his own best company. However, Skodwarde had been planning a trip down to see his occasional male lover Hades in Hell, and he needed a house sitter since Spongebob and Patrick had been breaking in and stealing his bras. He called the number and in a matter of hours the evil villain Man Ray was at his doorstep. Skodwarde let him in, but was getting ready to leave. Man Ray unpacked and undressed, starting to feel at home. When Skodwarde saw Man Ray's tight dad bod (a body so powerful it inspired lewd comments from lesbian SBC women), he cancelled on Hades immediately, and the two began a hot and steamy bicurious fuck week. Skodwarde was feeling a great connection he'd never had with anyone, until he started to see Man Ray remodel his precious Nazi decor without his permission. Skodwarde realized there was a level of commitment his blackened selfish heart wanted no part of and knew there was only one way to sabotage his new life without having to pay a huge RentAFiend bill. Skodwarde requests the help of Mermaid Pants and Barnacle Star, convincing them Man Ray is the reason he's HIV Positive. Mermaid Pants and Barnacle Star barge on in to to teach the scoundrel a lesson in sex safety. They wrap him in a giant condom, and he stumbles around smashing all his new furniture. Skodwarde can't look at this disaster any longer, so he uses his God powers to turn Spongebob and Patrick into ice pops. Man Ray bursts out of the condom and Skodwarde tries to explain himself. Man Ray is having none of it though, his mask is already enough suffocating rubber as it is and he's not into breath play.

"THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO BE NORMAL!".The whole experienced has traumatized him on trusting gay/bi squids. With that he hops into his Scuber (haha that joke will never be dated), and rides STRAIGHT to his next destination. 


A Straight Pride Parade! 

And that's the story of how Man Ray Got His Groove Back!

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224b. Pole Watching

One day, Pole is seen being driven home by Grubby Grouper, which is pretty gnarly, yo. He suggests that Pole goes to a wild raging party with him. Charmed, Pole busts through the door, causing Mr. Krabs to angrily replace it. Mr. Krabs also says that he won't let Pole go to the party as he is heading out to play poker with the boys and he has Skodwarde come over to babysit Pole. As soon as Skodwarde gets there, he points out that he doesn’t remember babysitting Pole before, like ever, and is very confused by this out of nowhere lowkey discontinuity. Mr. Krabs tells him to shut the fuck up and promises to Skodwarde that he’ll up his pay of dough and blow, and in addition to that, will get a Spongebob-free work shift for a week if he successfully babysits Pole for the night. Otherwise, if anything bad happens to Pole, he will let SpongeBob annoy the living shit out of him and give him the wrath of his big meaty claws. Mr. Krabs shows SpongeBob to him, who laughs like a lunatic, to emphasize his threat before he leaves. Skodwarde begrudgingly accepts and pops open a beer. Pole wants to go to the party and just let Skodwarde watch the house. She nearly leaves but Skodwarde reels Pole back in, so he can watch over her. Skodwarde suggests that Pole plays with a sex doll, color in a coloring book, or listen to rap music, however, Pole runs off to her room as she makes up a plan to sneak at the party. Pole’s plan works by first making a paper gravestone of Skodwarde to scare him out of Pearl's room, uses a papier-mâché figure of her head to make it look like she's sleeping, and then makes a secret passage created by cutting through the wall with her tears. Skodwarde wakes up when Pole drops the house to sneak out and finds that Pole has gone with Grubby Grouper to the party and chases after them.

After a Scooby-Doo chase sequence, the party takes place at the surface, where a lot of overly horny and druggy teenagers are hanging out. Pole and Grubby start to have fun if you catch my drift, but Skodwarde comes to cockblock and clamors that Pole needs to get home. Pole refuses, and Skodwarde starts to crash the party by zapping the little shits with his god powers, reading Mein Kampf, and playing with yoyos. Pole decides to jump over the surface as an act, but lands on Bikini Atoll, leaving her beached up on the atoll and beg for help. The other teens and Grubby then make a run for it so they don't get in trouble with the popo. Pole admits that it's no longer coral and that she wants to go home, so Skodwarde pumps air into Pole’s blowhole to make her unstuck and then bikes home. Pole is depressed that Grubby ditched her, and starts to cry again. Skodwarde, however, has a way to get revenge on him. Skodwarde and Pole place a paper bag with burning shit and SpongeBob in front of Grubby's house, causing Grubby to get chased by a crazed SpongeBob, all while Pole and Skodwarde laugh at Grubby's misfortune. Thus, this concludes for real SOF’s time as writer of Skod. That's all, folks!

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221a. Gary's Actually Exciting Critic Corner

*we see a stage similar to the Total Drama Aftermath, with Gary sitting on a couch*

"Welcome Bikini Bottom, I bet you all are wondering why and how a snail has acquired the power to talk. Nevermind that, it's just as much bullshit as it sounds. Today I am here to speak my mind to a number of special guests and share some behind the scenes Skodwarde content you won't want to miss."

*camera pans over to the peanut gallery with Skodwarde, Skolliam, Mr. Krabs, Pole, Plankton, Karen, and Scott*

"Unfortunately my owner Papa Bob and the stinky man aren't here tonight because they are giving an even stinkier man a bath or something. Now I'll start with an easy one, Pole, come on down".

Pole was elated to do as Gary said, desperate for TV attention whoring. Gary smirked his toothy snail grin and grilled her about how nobody in Bikini Bottom likes her or how barren her personality is beyond what a bunch of old male writers think current generation teenage girls act like.

Pole defended herself, saying that's not true and that her daddy and even now her babysitter Skodwarde love her tons. Gary raises his eyebrow at this claim.

Gary clicks his remote and the overhead screen starts playing a deleted footage song from before Skodwarde's big rescue in Pole Watching.


The hairs on my balls are a tangled mess.

Oo, mess!

They're itching so hard I think I might need my doctor to test.

Oo, test!

I tried to fit two cocks up my hole.

Oo, hole!

I ended up, Stuck Watching Pole!

He got fucked, should've ducked, worst of luck, stuck, stuck watching Pole!

I fell for every little thing that Krabs said.

Oo, said!

And when I closed my eyes, Pole hopped out of bed.

Oo, bed!

She's moved on, I don't want to give chase.

Oo, chase!

Would somebody pour hot jizz down my face!

He got fucked, should've ducked, worst of luck, stuck, stuck watching Pole. Stuck, stuck, watching Pole!

*the screen cuts to black, as we zoom in on Pole crying in anguish about that unflattering song*

"Wait, who were those back-up singers anyways?!". Pole screamed confused. Skodwarde interjects and tells her those were some of her friends that stopped by looking for her, but they liked what they found with his dick more instead. Pole flees to go puke from the betrayal, with Mr. Krabs in pursuit. "You can forget about our previous agreement, Mr. Skodwarde!". 

*Gary shrugs at Krabs exiting* "Guess he'll miss out on our big 500 dollar jackpot giveaway, that my owner Papa Bob so generously donated after thinking it was gum". 

*Gary randomizes a winner, which turns out to be Scott* "Oh boy! This will pay for one entire college textbook!" Scott rejoiced before zipping outside, making le funny classic one-liner because he mentioned college and our terrible economy. Remember kids, vote Bernie Sanders in 2020, it's what Scott would want.

"Seguing there, please give a nod to COMMUNITY COLLEGE GRADUATE Sheldon J. Plankton, and his wife who recently gave birth, Karen."

*Karen is holding a baby named Chip, distracted by the little guy*

"So tell me Plankton, what is it like having such a small micropenis that it can fit inside a computer's input jack?" Gary chuckled.

Plankton cusses back at Gary, upsetting Karen who covers Chip's ears and leaves with him in a huff.

"Wait Karen, I didn't mean to pollute our child's mind!". Plankton tries to follow behind but an anvil drops down, sending him through the floor.

"That was for our Truth or Anvil segment, which I was about to explain....oh well, we're down to our last guests of the night!".

Skodwarde and Skolliam sigh but oblige. Suddenly the tone of Gary's talk show gets very serious.

"I wanted you here most of all tonight, Skodwarde and Skolliam. See, I know that out of everyone in town you have the juiciest gossip left to spill as two Gods. For all this time I couldn't speak, you were the question left dangling the most for me...". 

Skolliam starts laughing maniacally, using his God powers to take over the broadcast connection and lift Gary into the air. "Listen here mollusk, there is only ONE God present at your sham of a talk show tonight. I'm just here to get the message out and make an example. Bikini Bottom will finally accept me as king of the show or.....

Skolliam crushes his fist in, causing Gary to explode in a similar way to how Frieza killed Krillin. "You'll all end up like Gary the Snail! Or should I say Shatterbox Gary. Hahaahahaha". He xat smirks at Skodwarde and blasts out of there before Skodwarde is even able to clean Gary's gross ass remains off his body.

RIP Gary 2011-2019. He really is above it all now. ;( Can he still rain fire down upon this enemy?! Stay tuned...

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223a. Move That Bubble Bath

Bubblebath was in his basement, hosting a fake talk show with a cardboard cut-out of a Krabby Patty. He was doing this because the writers forgot how to write any sort of hobby or pop culture for Bikini Bottom that isn't the holy sandwich. Eventually his mother rightfully screams at his ass to do chores that even Bubblebath should be able to reasonably accomplish without having a heart attack. Bubblebath goes full Howard Wolowitz and chooses to scream back at her and decline so that he can go back to masturbating with the cardboard cut-out. She tosses the garbage down onto Bubblebath, hoping it will mask his already terrible stench. Bubblebath has had it and prepares himself a hot bath. Bubblebath laments being in his 20s and not being able to afford his own home. He wishes he had a get rich quick scheme. As he drenches his naked body, he looks down at the tub water and gets a devilish idea. Just like internet famous girl Belle Delfish, he could sell his own grotesque water to Bikini Bottom's gullible saps and brand it as "Gamer Boy Bath Water". 

All he needed were two able-bodied losers to lift his fatass and his product door to door. Bubblebath knew the perfect two people who were indebted to him. Thus we cut to Spongebob and Patrick carrying Bubblebath inside of his Bubblebath all around town. Bubblebath manages to repulse the entire female populace with his public nude poses. His comic store acquaintances are not willing to fork over either. Bubblebath is baffled that the chance to own part of his essence would be rejected. Even as a beverage it wasn't the nastiest thing these bottomfeeders had drank this season. That's when Bubblebath noticed a grief-stricken Skodwarde walking down the street with a bucket. Skodwarde was taking Gary's gathered remains to a cemetery and was working up the courage to break the news to Spongebob. Bubblebath self-absorbedly yelled towards him, demanding to know the secret of why girls couldn't get enough of swallowing his ink. Skodwarde looked up at him and could not believe his eyes....

Bubblebath's mode of transportation was actually Gyro's time machine tub from DuckTales! Skodwarde, being an extensive DuckTales lore buff, asked Bubblebath how he acquired this marvel of technology. Bubblebath explains that he took it when he was inside the Scrapped Dimension (sure that checks out) but thought it was just a replica. Skodwarde insists he must commandeer it, but the desperation only gives Bubblebath an idea. He'll give Skodwarde one ride in it if he buys his entire stock of "Gamer Boy Bath Water". Skodwarde's stomach turned, but he shook Bubblebath's hand on it and got in the tub. In no time, they were back at the Gary's critic corner moments before it went live. Skodwarde got out and grabbed Gary from the backstage, but Gary wasn't leaving without a fight.


"GET IN THE TUB! GET. IN. THE. TUB!" Skodwarde argued back, knowing they had to leave before Skolliam heard the commotion.

Bubblebath was enamored with the talk show and wanted to get a closer look. "It's so much different than the ones I have with my Funko action figures". 

That's when Skodwarde got a devious idea. He told Bubblebath he could stay there and that he really just wanted Gary to not be a public celebrity. But someone of Bubblebath's talent was destined to make unsuspecting late night lame-o guests uncomfortable with his loud snarky mouth. With that kind of fame he could sell anything. Live anywhere. Be anyone. Bubblebath was salivating hundreds of pickles out of his mouth at the thought. Bubblebath chortles and bids Skodwarde adieu, such a bubbly soul he was.

Skodwarde then used his God powers to do the impossible and make Gary take a bath. Back they went to the present, where Skodwarde filled Gary in on everything that had happened. Skodwarde showed him the bucket of his snail remains right before they vanished, and the proof of Bubblebath's death at the hands of Skolliam was the last piece Gary needed to realize Skodwarde had really done a commendable thing. Gary swore he'd help Skodwarde stop Skolliam even if his life was in the balance again.

But before any of that, they both left to attend Bubblebath's house, where Bubblebath's mother was throwing the biggest bash Bikini Bottom had ever seen!

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And now, the time has finally come after 8 years. The end of Skodwarde...late at night. I've decided to post the last three episodes of the series together as a tv movie of sorts, since the first two are connected to the finale. Don't forget about Hayden's episode above as well. Enjoy!

225a. Bubble Buddy III: Game of Bubbles

(Written by jjs)

One day, while working at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob gets word from the (fake) news about a new town that has formed faraway from Bikini Bottom, called Bubblefell (wow original Game of Thrones reference amirite). His old pal Bubble Buddy has set up his own city where bubble people live in harmony. However, Bubblefell announces it has banned Patrick Star from setting any foot in there due to the events of “Bubble Buddy II: Back in Black”, where Patrick (under Pathulu’s possession) humiliated Bubble Buddy by making him eat shit and tried to hurt his son Shinya. And we had to remind you of that because it’s been 4 years and a good majority of you don’t even remember that anymore, ar ar ar! SpongeBob is confused by this, since he was never in the loop about what happened during that ordeal, so he confronts Patrick about this. Patrick takes a few seconds to remember, but then realizes this is when Pathulu was controlling him to do evil shit. SpongeBob says they should head over to Bubblefell to apologize and get on Bubble Buddy’s good side again, cause SpongeBob is the love sponge and doesn’t want any negative vibes up in here, man. Skodwarde’s attention is finally caught when the news talks about how Bubble Buddy’s clan has partnered with Skolliam, who has generously donated them much money to help build their empire. Skolliam brags about how he has more money than Skodwarde and makes a better ally to Bubblefell than him. This makes Skodwarde furious, realizing Skolliam is trying to manipulate Bubble Buddy’s bubble clan with his greasy tentacles for only one purpose: so he can have an army for war. This is what Skolliam’s lil shady subplot has been building up to all season, so he wants to come with SpongeBob and Patrick, regrettably, to help them get Bubble Buddy off of Team Skolliam. Before they embark on their adventure, Mr. Krabs asks them what happened to Scott out of curiosity, realizing he hasn’t seen him all week. SpongeBob tells him that Scott turned out to be a spy for Skolliam and died during the shenanigans in “Bad Times at Scrapped Dimension”. Krabs admits he was never keen on adding him to the cast anyways, and is glad that jackass is dead. Skodwarde notes that Krabs and Plankton technically died in that void, but thanks to the power of bullshit and god powers, both are back to life as well. Krabs looks at Skodwarde like he’s high, not remembering any of this, and tells him to get back to work, Mr. Skodwarde. Between Gary's temporary death (which Skodwarde informed SpongeBob about off-screen to really get that anger going towards Skolliam), Scott's death, and Krabs and Plankton's fakeout deaths, SpongeBob realizes the show sure is killing people off like it really is Game of Thrones...which worries him for a bit for how it will end, but he laughs it off!

After a nautical nonsensical journey, Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick make their way to Bubblefell, seeing the glorious bubble city before them. The bubble people are living their way of life like any normal people would, except a lot more sophisticated than the sex and drug riddled Bikini Bottom. Which is kind of telling on fish society rn if bubbles are the more sophisticated ones. The Three Stooges decide to enter, and Skodwarde knows this is a bad idea. The bubble people then stop dead in their tracks when they see Patrick casually walking alongside them, knowing he is forbidden. Before the bubble people can crucify Patrick on a cross and cancel him however, SpongeBob tells them to STOP! SpongeBob says they come in peace and want to make amends with Bubble Buddy, saying he is his creator and should deserve to speak with him. Bubble Buddy comes forward with his son Shinya, surprised to see SpongeBob, but kind of not happy to see Patrick, obviously. SpongeBob tells him the wishes to speak to him, and that Patrick will do no harm. Bubble Buddy agrees to speak, and escorts them to his bubble castle. Skolliam is seen watching the events transpire from a bubble building above, and laughs, knowing everything is going according to his brilliantly concocted plan. He then fades into the shadows like an evil cartoon villain would and keeps laughing.

The Three Stooges enter Bubble Buddy’s fancy castle, and are impressed by its size and design. Bubble Buddy offers them some drinks, as his bubble guards give them soap. SpongeBob and Patrick happily drink it. SpongeBob then explains to Bubble Buddy that Patrick was under the influence of an evil demon named Pathulu, who has been taken care of and Patrick is clean now. Patrick says it’s true, and that he is very sorry for making him eat shit in front of his son. Bubble Buddy normally would think this is bullshit coming from anyone else, but it’s coming from SpongeBob, so he believes him and forgives Patrick. Skodwarde also reveals to Bubble Buddy that he has been duped, tricked, smeckledorfed, etc, because Skolliam is an asshole only using his clan for his own gain and is not who he claims to be. Bubble Buddy refuses to believe that though, because Skolliam was very nice to him and gave him many resources, along with his own security team. The so-called “security team” reveal themselves to be Skolliam’s Legion of Doom, consisting of: Kevin (HEY EVERYBODY, KEVIN’S BACK!), Dirty Bubble, Mussell Airhead and Killer Moth. All four were hired by Skolliam as “protection” for Bubblefell, but Kevin reveals in actuality they were hired to kill SpongeBob, Patrick, Skodwarde AND Bubble Buddy so Skolliam could eventually takeover the city and control the bubble people for himself. Kevin then realizes he probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. Bubble Buddy is pissed, realizing he really HAS been smeckledorfed and Skodwarde gives him a “I told you so” look. Bubble Buddy says he will expel them from his city and the team charges at the Legion. Several bubble guards try to apprehend them, but they get popped, angering Bubble Buddy. SpongeBob unleashes his kah-rah-tay moves on Killer Moth and the Dirty Bubble. In the midst of the shitstorm, Patrick gets sent flying at the Dirty Bubble, popping him (POP THE BUBBLE!) with his pointy head, and killing him for legit real. Bubble Buddy cuts off Mussell Airhead’s head with a bubble sword. Skodwarde finishes by killing both Kevin and Killer Moth with his god powers. “Ah, the deed is done.” Skodwarde said to himself contently, smiling at their dead corpses, rotting on the ground. A bubble janitor comes by and cleans up the ugly mess. Bubble Buddy thanks them for saving his city and will think better next time about trusting random people. Skolliam was watching the events through a security camera, and sits back. While disappointed he was unable to control Bubblefell, he is not deterred by the slaughter of his legion, as he only used them as fodder distractions and the Kevin guy was a “pain in his ass” anyways. He then sets his sights on the rest of Skod’s allies, wanting to target someone else this time after killing Gary failed thanks to time shenanigans. He takes particular interest in the three female characters: Sandy, Puff Mama and Karen, which is a devious cliffhanger to lead into the penultimate episode coming next. SpongeBob and Patrick are happy that they’ve patched up things with Bubble Buddy and his clan, as they smoke up some bubbles to make the bubble folk happy, and Bubble Buddy laughs, all jolly to be on good terms with ‘em again. Skodwarde doesn’t celebrate though, because he makes one thing clear to SpongeBob and Patrick: War is coming.

Meanwhile, beneath the gooey mess the city was built upon, the ominous force that is the “Clusterfuck” begins to fester, as everything is coming into alignment for the endgame…


225b. Girls Night Scissoring

(Written by @Cha )

The episode starts as Sandy does some quirky scientist stuff and then out of the blue calls Karen despite never have established a friendship before. Meanwhile, Plankton is having a bitch attack in the background, claiming that someone stole his self torturing device with knife and screwdriver actions. She invites the Puff Mama, the city’s most well known lesbian bad bitch. While the ladies go out, Skolliam watches them from afar like a creepy stalker, and gets his groove on. He plans to woe the ladies onto his side for his upcoming war, because he’s horny af for some action. Or maybe he'll just kill them like a raging incel. Skodwarde and him agreed for their war tomorrow, so this would be the last night Skolliam gets for some old classic fucking around fun. After a night’s worth of women power and steamy powerful women love, the women finally decide to circumsion Plankton but found out his most powerful dream was to finally get rid of that flappy foreskin that was cursed upon his penis. They do the same with SpongeBob but he cries out in a delightful orgasm and thanks the ladies for giving him the soft touch of consensual love he’s always craved his entire life. Afterwards, the ladies all sigh because as much as they wanted to afflict physical pain to innocent victims, what they really needed was to cause it to the most baddest bitch under the sea. They ponder amongst themselves on who the baddest bitch in the sea is, until Skolliam appears before them. He introduces himself fancily as Skolliam T. Finessebitch III, finally revealing his full name before the show ends. He offers them to join his army for the upcoming God War, but the women just wanna have a nice night out before the show ends since they have never interacted before. SpongeBob and Skodwarde both make it to the scene, trying to stop Skolliam from doing his next dastardly deed. Skolliam tries to tickle the women’s fancies by showing off his features, but they are not falling for his tricks, so they agree he is the one who must be targeted next. Before they have a chance to do so though, Skolliam kills the three women with his god powers right there, accepting the three will not be turned. “I need romantic passion of someone who cares for me, platonically and a deep friendship of said individual.” Skodwarde and SpongeBob stand there shook that he went there. As Skolliam converts to the West Baptist Church to find his inner spiritual and morally clean future with pastor Nathan Phelps (who he later kills and uses the church's power to help him for the war), the girls decide to relax in hell as the funny sitcom credits role. Skodwarde, annoyed that Skolliam has killed off more cast members too soon, brings Sandy, Puff Mama, and Karen back to life, and decides to get it on their lil fun. The women accept as a favor for saving them, and the four have a nice jacuzzi party. SpongeBob also pops in cause why not. Unfortunately, Skodwarde cannot quite relax as he knows one thing is coming: the God War. But he decides to spend a chill last night with his lady friends while it lasts, embracing the possibility things may never be the same again after tonight…


226. It’s a Wonderful Skod! 

(Written by jjs for part 1 and @Old Man Jenkins for part 2)

Patchy the Butt Pirate and Potty are seen doing what those two knuckleheads do best: being annoying fucks in their last cameos ever, since it wouldn’t be the Skodwarde finale without ‘em! After some nautical nonsense and whacky bullshit hijinks involving pirate booty, sexy pirates, fireworks, a car chase, and other crap I don’t even know what to write, do you people really want more Patchy by this point? Patchy hastily makes it home and turns on his very ancient television, saying that he thankfully made it back just in time for the Skodwarde series finale! Patchy tells Potty that this will be the biggest clusterfuck of a series finale Bikini Bottom has ever seen, so strap in ( :funny:and prepare for a wild ride…

One day, and for what may be the final day in Skodwarde history, it is…not happy at all. Bikini Bottom is preparing for a war. There’s a grim, gloomy atmosphere over the city, as Skodwarde and Skolliam are about to have the biggest, bloodiest and most brutal god war history has ever seen: The Great God War. This war will answer two of the spin-off’s biggest questions: who the better god is, and who is truly better in bed. This shit’s gonna make any Game of Thrones battle look like a baby shower, I tells ya. Skodwarde has gathered his forces outside Downtown Bikini Bottom, where their battle camps are all set up. His forces consist of: SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary (who is ready for payback), Sandy, Mr. Krabs (in Armor Ass Krabs mode), Plankton, Karen and Prick in a reluctant alliance, Puff Mama (regrettably), Fred, Larry, Pole, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (in non-speaking cameos), members of the Nazi Squid Cult, Skoddy Skoddy (who decided to make a quick vacation break to help out Skodwarde) and JCM in a surprise last time cameo. SpongeBob asks Skodwarde if The Great God War has really an endgame the spin-off had been building up to before this last season. Skodwarde responds by slapping SpongeBob, telling him of course they never had an endgame plan, it’s Skodwarde of all spin-offs, silly! But then, this makes Slodwarde have a deep philosophical reflection. Was his only purpose in this whole universe to star in a naughty parody of a children’s cartoon that would somehow culminate him into fighting Skolliam? Had he been wasting these past 8 years away for something seemingly meaningless? He thinks back to all the past shenanigans he revisited from “Scrapped Dimension” and realizes his world could be coming to an end, and that it’s all gone before you know it (kind of like the ending of The Sopranos), thus lowkey worrying him about how he’ll make it out of this battle. SpongeBob then realizes the first movie supposed to be the finale (lmao who the hell knows anymore), but Skodwarde shrugs, saying even he and Dickelodeon don’t know the continuity of it anymore. Mr. Krabs says that this finale better be Breaking Bad or The Sopranos quality and says to Skodwarde that if he pulls a Dexter, Game of Thrones or Lost, he wants his money (and coke) back. Skodwarde tells him that of course this finale will piss people off, people haven’t been pleased with the direction of this show since Season 4 ar ar ar! (it’s not a Skodwarde finale without yet another gag mocking post-movie). That’s enough fourth wall breaking for now kids, let’s see what Skolliam is up to!

Skolliam is seen in his large, bloated, fancy mansion house. He is happily relaxing in a hot tub with his prostitutes, pleasuring them with his tentacles and doing all sorts of wild drugs together. While Skodwarde and SpongeBob may have foiled (or soiled) his attempted assassination of Gary, fucked up his Scrapped Dimension plans, resulting in the death of his inside man Scott, bested his fodder legion, and interfered with his scheme to woe Puff Mama, Karen and Sandy, he is not deterred, explaining those were just mere warm-ups to prepare his true power for today’s events. He flexes and shows off his expensive golden battle weapons all ready for war. He says today will finally prove once and for all to the world that he is better than Skodwarde at god powers and in bed. He then goes on a philosophical monologue about how he’s hated being pushed aside forever now and how Skodwarde gets the spotlight. He even points out how Squilliam never appears in the show they are parodying anymore, showing the universe is clearly against every counterpart of him. He will no longer eat shit nor get the short end of the stick, because today will be his day. Skolliam then breaks out into a musical number, but suddenly, it gets cut short by the doorbell. Skolliam is furious by this, and puts on a bathrobe, approaching the door. He opens it to see the God of Supremacy Orange Cop with the Funky Cops and other coppers, looking like they are ready to bust him. The prostitutes hide, as the God of Supremacy Orange Cop explains Skolliam is under arrest for trying to start a catastrophic war, and it is his job to keep balance. He also says Skolliam’s “genius” is exposed, as Skolliam looks down to see his robe is exposing his dick. The God of Supremacy Orange Cop then slaps Skolliam with a ticket for public nudity, finally making him reach his boiling point. Skolliam actives batshit mode and pulls a Tony Montana, taking out his golden machine gun. He opens fire on all of the police officers, gunning them down and killing the God of Supremacy Orange Cop, for legit serious real (!). The Funky Cops manage to luckily escape, as they hightail it out of there, deciding to retire from the force knowing their outdated cameos can only go so far. Skolliam brags that he is above the law and nobody EVER will interrupt his pompous bragging songs. He keeps shooting his machine gun into the air like a fucking madman, saying once he’s done fucking Skodwarde, he’s gonna fuck the sky, fuck the whole world, and reshape it into his perfect world. He’s even going to fuck the writers of this finale! He heads back inside, takes off his bathrobe, and puts on his special golden battle armor, ready to fight. Before he leaves, he pleasures his prostitutes with his tentacles one last time. He tells them he will bring them back Skodwarde’s head, and tosses some more drugs at them to play with. He then heads off to the agreed warring point, and continues singing his song that was rudely interrupted.

Meanwhile, in Bubblefell, Bubble Buddy notices the ground is moving weirdly, and he knows he’s not high. The Clusterfuck is slowly beginning to awaken due to the tides of war. Its presence begins to cause tremors across Bubblefell, popping several bubble homes in the city and killing multiple bubbles civilians. Bubble Buddy evacuates the residents and his son Shinya, getting them the fuck out of there. At the battlefield, Skolliam strolls up casually, all by himself. He looks onward at Team Skodwarde and laughs, saying he can take on all of them while blindfolded. Sandy asks Skolliam where his mighty army is, and Skolliam scoffs this off, saying he is a one man show, needing no army. Skodwarde yells for the Avengers-er, Team Skodwarde, to assemble! Skodwarde sounds the war horn. He divides up the allies into three squads, making them surround Skolliam, while Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick stand into middle, like, Cap, Thor and Iron Man in Endgame. The squads all starts bombarding Skolliam at once, throwing every attack, sex related object, innuendo, pop culture reference and episode callback they can at him. Skolliam walks out of this unscathed and laughs, ready to fuck shit up. Skolliam begins wrecking everyone like Thanos, showing no mercy or shits. He sends the allies flying all over the battlefield and makes them flop like fish. Gary jumps at Skolliam and begins to maul his face like a savage, pretty damn pissed he killed him and all that. Skolliam then swats him off, saying he always hated snails. Patrick throws multitude of condoms, dildos, porn magazines and other crap at Skolliam, which he incinerates with pew pew lasers from his eyes. Sandy then jumps at Skolliam from behind like ninja Arya Stark, wanting to put the HI-YAH-K up Skolliam’s ass, as she unleashes her kah-rah-tay moves. Skolliam taps into his inner Jackie Chan and releases his own moves back, whooping Sandy’s ass and sending her flying. Skoddy Skoddy then does his own sneak attack and hits Skolliam in the nuts with his club. Skodwarde is proud of his caveman ancestor, but Skolliam impales Skoddy Skoddy with a sword, killing him, shocking the team. There’s our second casualty of the finale. Skodwarde is actually kind of saddened by this surprisingly, honored Skoddy went out for him. He says Skoddy’s sacrifice will never be forgotten and seeing how desperate the situation is becoming, decides it is time for a powerhouse. Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick then activate their Power Rangers morphers, summoning their big ass Power Rangers mech. (as seen in “The Clash of Tritawn!” and “Attack of the Shit That Came From Goo Lagoon!”) The mech runs on autopilot and starts firing pew pew lasers at Skolliam, who expertly maneuvers them with the most erotic dance moves. The mech tries to step on him, but Skolliam goes Super Saiyan and stops the foot, holding onto it. Skolliam pushes the foot upward, and makes the mech lose its balance, causing it to have a mighty fall. Skolliam then quickly delivers a final blow to the mech, making it fall to pieces. Skodwarde, SpongeBob and Patrick cry in agony at its loss, because they truly loved that mech they only used once in a blue moon! This loss does not deter them, as Team Skodwarde regroups to reorganize their strategy, whole Skolliam pleasures himself to taunt them.

Skodwarde begins to think of new battle tactics to take that son of a bitch down. However, Plankton chimes in by saying he’s getting tired of this clownery and has his own quick solution to end Skolliam. He proposes to use his mind control device that he attempted on Squidward in “Scrapped Dimension”. Mr. Krabs wishes he had proposed this sooner, but Plankton says he just likes to watch the world burn. He activates the device, sending the miniature figures into Skolliam’s mind, as he feels like he’s getting a mindfuck and begins to spasm. Unfortunately, the plan backfires horribly when Skolliam hatches a genius idea. Skolliam uses his god powers to hijack the device and take the miniature little shits out of his head. He places them all inside of Skodwarde’s allies, and orders them to kill Skodwarde, SpongeBob, and Gary who are the only three unaffected. The allies all begin to dogpile the two, as they keep jumping into one large pile and forming clusterfuck over them. Skolliam then prepares a supercharge blast to annihilate everyone right then and there now that they are in one place (hardcore shit). Skodwarde and SpongeBob struggle to make their way out of the mind controlled team pile, and it is here that Skodwarde realizes damn son, he underestimated Skolliam and that he may be a wee too overpowered. He hopes either jjs and/or OMJ will pull a rabbit out of their hat for him on this one, and so I shall oblige. Skodwarde then remembers hey, his Pimp God Boat exists, so he summons that, making it go flying at Skolliam. Skolliam dodges and it laughs, but then Skodwarde smirks, realizing that was his own lil distraction. Gary then jumps at Skolliam and begins mauling the fuck out of him again, and smashes the mind control device into pieces. The mind controlled allies are turned back to normal, wondering what the hell just penetrated their minds, as they stand back up. SpongeBob is proud of Gary for his heroic deed and gives him a treat. Skodwarde then realizes how powerful his rival is, and in a rare bit of Skodwarde giving a shit about others for once in his life, doesn’t want his team to die by his greasy tentacles. Skodwarde yells at Skolliam, telling them it’s time they settle this fight like real men. Skolliam concurs, saying this has gone on long enough and he’s bored now. Skodwarde and Skolliam both charge up their god powers, preparing ultimate attacks (and since this is the finale, don’t worry, it won’t take 5 episodes like in DBZ). Skodwarde tells his team to stand back a hell of a lot, as he finishes charging. Skodwarde and Skolliam both launch themselves at each other (hehe). They have a fatal clash, causing a giant anime-esque explosion across the battlefield. Everyone looks in awe. The two awake on the battlefield, with both fatally wounded, but get up, still fighting. Before either of them can lay another tentacle on another however, Bubble Buddy and his survivors run into the area, cockblocking them. Bubble Buddy is panicking, telling them they are all doomed. Skodwarde looks at him like he’s high, confused by what he’s babbling about. SpongeBob says that “babble like an idiot” wasn’t on the agenda for today, double checking it. As everyone tries to understand what the bubble clan is trying to say, suddenly…

BOOM!!! A giant bubbly, black explosion resembling a mushroom cloud is seen from Bubblefell. Everyone stops fighting and looks at it, wondering what the actual fuck that is. The Clusterfuck has awoken from Bubblefell, and is going to destroy everything Skodwarde (and Skolliam, I guess) has ever loved, as it begins to make the universe fall apart around it. It slowly moves toward Bikini Bottom. The Clusterfuck is coming.

With The Clusterfuck incoming, Skodwarde orders his team to ready themselves as it makes its dynamic entry. The Clusterfuck's influence spreads all throughout the world from the Bubblefell like a geyser, absorbing everything in its path into the catastrophically large cluster of its combined fucks. Not even Encino, California is spared from the unfortunate fate as it becomes a lost city once again, lost in a sea of endless fucks. Patchy's neighbor, Mrs. Johnson, is the first to be painfully swept away into the Clusterfuck. Patchy and Potty futilely try to brave the sea of fucks by getting on their handy dandy row boat, but waves of fucks swells in and proceeds to rock their boat in clusters. Patchy urges Potty to fly away, throwing her into the air himself as their boat capsizes with him in it. He cries in pain as his body dissolves into the clusterfuck like acid. With his last breath, Patchy tells Potty that he regrets playing with her like a puppet, and that he should've just fucked her when the chances presented itself. Potty had no time to mourn the death of her closest on/off companion as she had to immediately take flight to get herself away from The Clusterfuck, however, a white gooey clustery hand of fucks reaches out from the sea and grabs her as she soars away in midair, pulling itself back down into The Clusterfuck with Potty still firmly in its grasp. Good riddance, amirite?

Skodwarde uses his god powers to try and contain this Clusterfuck, but it proves to be far beyond his power (a recurring theme this season). SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy and Mr. Krabs each tap into their own individual god powers to assist Skodwarde, but their combined might is barely even enough to make a dent in stopping this monstrosity (another recurring theme for this season). Bikini Bottom quickly becomes overwhelmed by The Clusterfuck as well, all of its residents being forcefully, painfully absorbed into the large cluster of its combined fucks. Screams of agony echoes not just throughout the whole world, but the entire universe. Live-Action Asylum Escapee Santa is also swept away on on the moon (which is still under construction by his midgets dressed as elves). Realizing that they'll need much more god power to combat this thing, Skodwarde sucks up his pride and appeals to Skolliam for his help. But this is exactly what Skolliam has been wanting this entire season; a cruel, agonizing end to Skodwarde. Skolliam leads their new Clusterfuck overlord in the anthem of deletion until he's splashed in the crotch by a small cluster of fucks that dissolves away his thick and valuable pubic hair upon contact. Everyone has a good, hearty laugh at this turn of cruel irony all at Skolliam's expense. Skolliam explodes in anger, wanting Skodwarde to finally admit that Skolliam is indeed better in bed than he is in order attain his services. Skodwarde isn't willing to concede to those demands until things really start to go to shit, forcing himself to finally admit that Skolliam IS better in bed at the very last second.

Skolliam joins Team Skodwarde in the assault on Precinct Clusterfuck (one more dank reference before the end!). Skodwarde realizes that this very damn well could be his last stand, as well as his last chance to get all his shit in, so he looks back on events throughout the entire series that has led him to this exact moment. The words Lady Skoga imparted onto him in "Scrapped Dimension" rings heavily in his mind, confirming that their growth and experiences in the Scrapped Dimension didn't end up getting scrapped in the end. Ready to finally shine his holy light into the darkness, Skodwarde wrestles control of the team from Skolliam long enough to take charge once again in order to finally lead this world to a better place when the dust settles.

Everyone powers up to the zenith of their godly power, finally being enough to bring The Clusterfuck to task. However, they all kinda forget that The Clusterfuck absorbs everything upon contact, allowing it to gobble up everyone (with Skolliam being the first to go). All that's left are Skodwarde, SpongeBob, Sandy and The Worm Plankton. Plankton takes the time to note just how much "this fucking stinks" before harakiri'ing himself by lying flat on his back for The Clusterfuck to finish off. The Bubble Clan shows that they're something to Clusterfuck with when they, too, are unceremoniously absorbed into it. SpongeBob cries like a little punk ass bitch while Sandy makes one last call to her former flame, Frenchy, to see if he can deus ex their asses out of this situation, however, the Clusterfuck grabs hold of her tail amidst being put on hold. Skodwarde and SpongeBob try to save her from its clutches, but it's no use as it spreads more and more over her body, completely dissolving away her plot armor. Frenchy finally picks up right at the end of her life, allowing her to get an SOS over to him before she could profess her undying love for the narrator. As her undying love dies right in his ear, Frenchy beams down to Bikini Bottom like almighty God, himself. With a capital g.

Frenchy asks what the hell's happened since he last appeared on the show and Skodwarde informs him that he won't even get halfway through "Scrapped Dimension". Frenchy berates Skodwarde and Skolliam for letting things get this fucking bad between them. He reveals that they were always his favorite specimens to study and narrate for, but that this latest pissing match between the two is exactly why he barely pops up in these episodes anymore. At his wit's end, and in a moment that finally acknowledges that Frenchy is indeed the most powerful being in the Skodwarde universe, Skodwarde prays to Frenchy for his help in ensuring a happy ending to his show. He tells Frenchy that he's learned his lessons, undergone the proper character development, even finally admitted to himself that Skolliam is better in bed than he is (I want you all to remember that as the biggest thing to take away from this spinoff). Skodwarde begs Frenchy for a miracle, anything!

Using his god powers, Frenchy conjures a door into existence, dropping it right behind Skodwarde and SpongeBob. Frenchy narrates that it is a "backdoor", one that shall take the core and foundations of this world and re-establish them in another with an entirely clean slate, all without the risk of a rampant Clusterfuck fucking their shit up this time around. SpongeBob notes how that kind of sounds like a "reboot", but Frenchy corrects him, narrating that it's more in line with a "spinoff that'll more than likely retcon most everything you know up to this point". Skodwarde asks if that's their only option. Frenchy says that it is. Skodwarde thinks things over a bit before finally deciding to go along with it. SpongeBob asks Frenchy why he cant just save their tailfins with a snap of his fingers if he is so powerful. Frenchy informs them that this entire universe is beyond repair thanks to The Clusterfuck, that it's best to start off fresh. SpongeBob seems vehemently against this, but before he can voice his opinion, The Clusterfuck attacks and lays siege upon them. Skodwarde uses every last ounce of his god powers to hold The Clusterfuck at bay, urging SpongeBob to step through the backdoor himself and spin them off to a much better place. SpongeBob refuses, saying that they're in a much better place right now.

Skodwarde tells SpongeBob not to get sentimental now, of all times. SpongeBob reminds him of all the character development they had undergone just this past season alone and how they've all come to peace with how the series must end. They can't keep doing this same old shit forever, they've all earned a dignified end to their stories, not to have all their stories be thrown away as if none of it ever happened. Frenchy narrates to SpongeBob that this could bring all his loved ones back to life. SpongeBob asserts himself and rebuffs that he would rather have seen them die for something rather than live for nothing. Unamused, Skodwarde quickly stops putting forth effort into his last stand. The Clusterfuck immediately stops attacking, seemingly frozen in place. Skodwarde says that this isn't how the story is supposed to end. The gathering storm, the growth, the final boss battle, the sacrifice that must be made to guarantee a bittersweet happy ending. Skodwarde yells that this shit is what good stories are made of. SpongeBob concurs, but says that their story should end here. Skodwarde corrects SpongeBob, saying that "this is MY story, not ours." Using his god powers, Skodwarde causes The Clusterfuck to break away into dust. Confuzzled, SpongeBob turns to Frenchy, who also fades away like dust in the wind. SpongeBob checks to see how jjs and OMJ are gonna explain this one, but there is only dust where they once wrote. SpongeBob slowly comes to the realization that he may have forgotten to feed Gary before marching him to war and, even more importantly, that something is very amiss.

Then, it hit SpongeBob like the god fist to his face just now. SpongeBob is sent back first into the closed backdoor. SpongeBob comes to the conclusion that everything; Skolliam, the God War, The Clusterfuck, absolutely everything up til this point was meticulously orchestrated by Skodwarde. He was in complete control throughout the entirety of these last 8 years, and they all played their parts right down to the letter. Skodwarde insults SpongeBob, riffing on how anyone could possibly think that a french narrator or a bunch of virgins on a SpongeBob forum could have any power over him. This revelation and thought that all his loved ones died for nothing pushes SpongeBob over the edge, causing him to tap into the latent power of both his Ultra Bullshit and Ultra Badass simultaneously, becoming a true master class in character development. The newly Perfected SpongeBob charges up to engage Skodwarde in god battle, but Skodwarde uses his god powers to undo all 8 years of those developments with a mere snap of his suction cups.

"Fine, is that the way you want it?" Skodwarde asks, wiping his hands clean. "Story's over. Welcome to the end."

SpongeBob collapses to the ground, his mind is absolutely emptied of everything and he's left completely powerless to do anything. He greets Skodwarde with his vintage carefree attitude as the backdoor swings open, causing a great green light to flood out. Skodwarde vanishes from sight as the world begins to crumble all around SpongeBob. And so for the last time ever, after some nautical nonsense involving god powers, the end of the fucking world and SpongeBob running around in fear, trying to seek shelter in familiar place after familiar place, all of which inevitably fall one after the other, the backdoor begins to suck everything in like vacuum. SpongeBob is the last to be drawn toward the open door, but he ain't going in without a fight, holding onto the door's hinges with all his might long enough for the door to shut right in his face, as well as his fingers.

(Backdoor Pilot) Koncentration Kamp Koral: Help Needed

One day, Koncentration Kamp Kounselor Skodwarde subjects his prisoners to the worst punishment of all; being animated in CG. But he concludes that even this isn't punishment enough, so he goes ahead and decides to execute all the prisoners in his stead, which is pretty much every other character on the show. Using his god powers, he throws them all in the gas chamber. Koncentration Kamp Kounselor Skodwarde proceeds to spend the rest of his day killing them all to the tunes of "Living in the Sunlight" by Tiny Tim.



Special thanks to everyone who read and helped contribute to Skodwarde over the years. There's no doubt it left a legacy on this spin-off section, and I was honored to have ran it for the remainder of its run. Though I don't deserve the credit, as that goes to OMJ for bringing it into this world to begin with. I also extend thanks to the multiple writers that were involved across its run who helped add their own visions and voices to this. The group aspect of this spin-off was what made it so fun for many. While I know it may be sad to end it with so many new episodes of SpongeBob we could adapt, and its own upcoming spin-offs, there's a multitude of factors that led to OMJ and I both agreeing that this needed to end on its own terms. Unlike its counterpart, we can't keep milking the god forever. Sadly, we highly doubt at this moment there will be any Skod content for the foreseeable future, so this is very likely the last piece of Skodwarde content you're getting for now. The memories of this spin-off will last forever and I'll never forget it.

See ya in another life, brother.

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