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Hello boys and ghouls! Did that last tale give you sweet wet dreams last night? This next erotic scare will be sure to tickle your morning wood! A story I'd like to call...

140b. Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle!

One night, we get another peak out at the Bikini Bottom skyline, which Ron Jeremy is still furiously cumming towards, as an ominous queef begins to set in on the town accompanied by even more louder moans of pleasure, completely blocking Ron Jeremy out. It was so loud that even Patrick got his fat ass out of bed to throw his pickle out into the darkness just to shut it the hell up because he needs his rest to do absolutely nothing the next day. That morning, SpongeBob awakens to find that his bed is drenched in a sticky- oh wait, that always happens, but he did noticed that his trusty dildo is now missing. Skodwarde awakes from his slumber next door to also find that his bed is a sticky mess- wait, that always happens too, but he also noticed that his rubber tentacle had mysteriously vanished. Patrick is raving mad next door, searching for his pickle which he completely forgot he threw out earlier. SpongeBob heads to work fearing the worse that maybe the Krusty Krab has gone missing, but of course it didn't. Of course it fucking didn't. Skodwarde displays his displeasure at this revelation by using his god powers to fist himself something fierce in front of the paying krustomers.

When they clock in, they notice Pole working the pole like no one's business, saying that her dad's been missing and that she needs to watch over the family business. SpongeBob slaps her and scolds her that this isn't Handsome Squidward before ordering her to get back in her kitchen and make these people some sammiches. Sponge and Skod head out to search for their boss, first checking the back of the restaurant where Krabs usually performs sexual favors for money. The moans and queef fog return and they're suddenly sucked into a gaping meat hole and find themselves on some uncharted island in the middle of the ocean inside the ocean surrounded by thousands upon thousands of sex toys and blunt objects. They eventually come across Mr. K, who's getting a once over by Hans. Apparently being the expert on this stuff, he introduces them to the the Bikini Bottom Triangle, where every man hopes to get inside of. That is all. Krabs also tells them that "the bitches here be fierce. Ar ar ar!" Skodwarde stand off to the side telling himself, "Ah, the Bikini Bottom Triangle. Good times, goooood times."

SpongeBob and Patrick (because lets fit as much people in here as we can), too gay for this shit, search for a way out before coming across a group of mermaids aka the bitches in question. They ask if they could tell them where to find the way back home, but the mermaids were all like "we would but sadly we're only bitches. SHABLAM!" and they proceed to queef on them. Being the bi-curious fella he is, Patrick stays to get lucky while SpongeBob heads back, clearly falling under the pressure of all the estrogen in the Triangle. Krabs gets him back on his feet by having Hans give him a handjob (ha) and feeding him a Krabby Patty for good measure. This is, like, the best patty SpongeBob's ever tasted btw.

With no way out, all hope is lost for only SpongeBob. Suddenly, more stuff gets sucked into the Triangle, Pole being one of them. The mermaids arrive to drop Patrick off, telling him that they don't roll that way, revealing the Triangle to be every man's nightmare. Pole, being a bit curious herself, hits up the mermaids and they all proceed to have a make out session in front of the guys. Unsurely amused, Skodwarde uses his god powers to whisk everyone and everything out of there because this shit got ridiculous the moment it started. Pole and the girls work the poles like no one's business while Skodwarde and the others check in on who's been manning the restaurant while they were gone, finding out that it's only been good ole Ron Jeremy, slapping some of his new special "mayonnaise" onto the food. Everyone storms the pile of sex objects like its Black Friday, paying Krabs a nominal fee of course, and Patrick even finds another pickle. A sadistic smirks curls upon his face as he takes it with him into a limo and rides off, doing Neptune knows what in there.

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Ar ar ar ar ar! Every man's nightmare! Did that last tale make you appreciate your manly parts more? Well this tale will surely make you see it as...a curse. Muhahahaha!

141a. The Cruse of the Sex!

It was a nice day in at the Krusty Krab, until Skodwarde decided to use his god powers to form a storm for shits and giggles. Unfortunately for him, people didn't forget to bring their umbrellas. Not amused, he conjures up tornados to bring them all to their spirally doom right as they exit the premises to prevent any future lawsuits, including a mother and her children because Skodwarde just doesn't give two fucks today. He is finally foiled by a random guy in a raincoat, which somehow makes him immune to tornados apparently. Skodwarde is about to close up shop when a stank-looking, old hagfish conveniently named Madam Hagfish arrives for some sugar. Skodwarde reminds her that "we serve shit here, madam." but she persists in coming in for some sexy times. Pole and the Merbitches stop working those poles like no one's business before leaving because that hagfish is "just, like, totally vomitrocious gosh! SHABLAM!" and they proceed to queef all over Skodwarde.

Madam Hagfish wants Skodwarde to use his god powers to insert that "golden eel" he puts out on display 24/7 into her "cave". Skodwarde continues to insist that they only serve shit here, but Mr. Krabs, willing to do anything for a pretty penny, tells him to think of the customer or he's fired. Madam Hagfish doesn't have enough money to wing it. Spongebob, out of pity, whispers something sexual in her ear, causing her to leave in disgust. Krabs asks him what he told her for future reference and he tells him that he told her to "meet me out back after my shift and I'll gladly let you insert your eel into one of my many holes." After his shift, SpongeBob heads out to the back conspicuously and meets up with Madam Hagfish, who is that desperate it seems. Skodwarde catches wind of this and informs Mr. Krabs of the situation. They cock block their little parade and Krabs tells Skodwarde to dispose of that hag. He uses his god powers to get her the fuck out of here but not before she places a curse on the Krusty Krab for "shaming her". Krabs ain't afraid of no curse!

The next day, Krab fears the curse maybe forreal since they've had no suckers- er, customers all day. He asks Skodwarde if curses are real and being that he is a god, seems legit. After some nautical nonsense involving coffee, fire and Mr. Krabs' singles, Krabs prays for Skodwarde to lift the curse for him. Skodwarde yawns and says he doesn't feel like it today before telling Krabs to pray to his tail fin. Krabs is dumbfounded at this since Skodwarde doesn't have a tail fin to pray to. With no other option, he and SpongeBob search for Madam Hagfish, who will only lift the curse if Krabs is willing to do something he fears the most...paying her for sex. After bidding a hard, tearful farewell to his $2.30, and some nautical nonsense involving "eel", "caves" and "escalators", Madam Hagfish finally lifts the curse by having Krabs call over Pole and the Merbitches to bring their milkshakes over, bringing all the customers back to the yard cuz damn right they're better than those stolen Naggy Daddies! Krabs once again declares his disbelief in anything supernatural despite EVERYTHING that has gone on throughout this entire show. Not amused, Skodwarde uses his god powers to unleash his "giant golden eel" into the restaurant.

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Did that last tale make you feel the urge to cut your things right off? This next tale will sure to send shivers down your libido! Bi-curiosity killed the catfish in...

141b. The Glory Hole!

One day, SpongeBob was fucking a patty on the grill when he noticed someone took a gigantic shit on it. He proceeds to give it some tongue in order to clean it off as Skodwarde sulks in his work station knowing another one of his plots got foiled once again. SpongeBob took notice that the kitchen was now flooded in sticky white residue. He follows it back to the bathroom where Patrick and Nosferatu (JCM returning for a second cameo) are jerking to each other in the stalls through the use of a glory hole. SpongeBob wants in on this so he says Nosferatu's name to get him the fuck out before proceeding to laugh and jerk with his best pal in the deep White Sea. Their racket echoes all throughout the Krusty Krab and Krabs catches whiff of it. He rushes to the bathroom and catches SpongeBob and Friend in the act. He's all like "what ye be doing playing around with that glory hole, bois?!" before telling them about The Glory Hole at the bottom sea and how two boys triggered cataclysmic events by peeking at the other side.They question if he knows where it is, but he tells them to give him and his dime some privacy. Being the two jerkoffs they are, they disobey Krabs warning again and head out in search of The Glory Hole.

They try to find someone as lonely and sex-depraved as Old Man Krabs to tell them where to find The Glory Hole, so they search for Old Man Jenkins and step on Plankton along the way, who's screams go unheard under the weight of SpongeBob's foot. But one does not simply find Old Man Jenkins, OMJ finds them, and I did by drugging and dragging them into an old tenement building I call a home since as you can tell, I've fallen on hard times since I became part-time. They ask me where The Glory Hole was and I replied "did you try setting it to Wumbo?" and they just leave me there alone...and sex-depraved. After some nautical nonsense involving bubbles, hitch-hiking and showing off some leg, they finally come across The Glory Hole (at the bottom of the sea).

Patrick is about to place his bumpy log in the hole when Plankton finally scrapes himself like cum from SpongeBob's shoe and warns the boys not to go near The Glory Hole. Krabs conveniently arrives with toilet paper stuck to his ass to warn them to "get away from dat hole, bois!" Knowing that two jerkoffs won't listen anyway, Krabs and Plankton pull guns on them to get them to back away from The Glory Hole or else they'll be full of holes, moreso in SpongeBob's case. The two lonely, sex-depraved men proceed to tell the two jerkoffs that THEY were in fact the boys who peeked through the Glory Hole, thus starting World War II. Skodwarde catches wind of all this and uses his god powers to peek into the hole himself, only to see Madam Hagfish fingering herself. The whole world quakes as the US Government begins to shut down again, and World War III breaks out. President Barack Obama awakens from a nightmare in his oval bedroom, saying that that was "the most realistic dream I ever had".

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And til this very day, the US Government remains shut down. This next butt-pounding little story maybe a bit too unnerving to most, if not all, Skodalgics. You've been warned. Muhahahaha!

142a. Skodbillies!

One day, SpongeBob and Patrick were stalking jellyfish, as per usual, with a pair of binoculars at Jellyfish Fields. They find prey that looks to be easy pickings so they move in from behind to beta piece of dat jelly behind. They pounce on it and proceed to hold its stingers down as they take turns having their way with it, filling it up with much more than just jelly. After the deed is done, they flee the scene but fail to check their flanks as they plummet down into a dark trench below the Fields. At the bottom of the trench, Pa Skod and Pa Skod Jr. are out toying with their truck as the Squidbillies theme plays. Pa Skod Jr. urges his pa to let him drive that damn thing for once but Pa Skod tells him to not "TOUCH THE TRIM, BOI!" Junior says that he can't do this to his own son, but Pa Skod is all like "if you weren't my brother, I'd kill ya!" Suddenly, SpongeBob and Patrick plummet onto the truck, crushing Pa Skod to death. Junior runs off to tell his family, saying "we're cummin" as he does so. Before they could even get out of the rubble, a voice says "we're here" as SpongeBob and Patrick look around to find themselves surrounded by a whole family Skodbillies, armed with their lanterns, banjos and straw hats. Patrick gives them the one finger Vulcan salute, saying that he wishes to speak to their leader. The Skodbillies tell them that they're standing on him. An obese Skodbilly by the name of Skray Skyatt walks up in his motor cocking chair and says that with Pa Skod's death, he's the new head of the Skyatt Family now and that their kind isn't allowed here, unless they can survive their initiation into the Skyatt Family. After some nautical nonsense involving a who can suck and blow hardest contest, Skodbilly hand fishing, beauty pageants, and lots of brainwashing through the use of subliminal messages...


...It finally comes down to a wrestling match against Cousins Skuke Skarper and Skerick Skowan to survive their final initiation. When SpongeBob and Patrick pussy out despite being the tag team champions of the world in "Krusty Krushers", Skray asks them and the audience if "you wanna see something REALLY scary"


And with that, SpongeBob and Patrick pass their initiation and become Skodbilly kin of the Skyatt Family as our audience at home tune out and rant about that sight in disgust for some reason or another. They are both given honorary sheep masks as a sign of their loyalty to the Family. The Skodbillies plan on celebrating this joyous occasion by commencing a blood orgy and that only new members of the family provides the blood they will bathe in. After being completely oblivious to this for a good ten minutes, SpongeBob and Patrick finally flee back to the Krusty Krab, as if we hadn't had enough of the place amirite? The Skodbillies give chase, saying that "we're cummin".

Skodwarde and Mr. Krabs are arguing over which one of them has the bigger dick as SpongeBob and Patrick come running in with their dicks between their legs. They tell them about their situation but Nosferatu (played by JCM in a cameo for the third time) flickers the lights as a voice says "we're here". The lights come back on and they find themselves surrounded by the Skodbillies, who proceed to jizz all over the establishment. Skodwarde questions how these abominations escaped their prisons before telling the others that the Skodbillies are actually his spawn. SpongeBob questions how that's even possible to which Skodwarde responds "what do you think happens every time I cum on this show?"

Skodwarde attempts to use his god powers to banish the Skodbillies back to where they came (ha) but they proceed to attack and overwhelm him in numbers. Skray Skyatt gets up from his motor cocking chair and challenges his pa to finally grow some balls and smite his first born, but Mr. Krabs, seeing every opportunity as a chance to make some money-ay, asks the Skodbillies what they would like to order. They ask for 50 orders of 10 crying Johnny's on the barn and everybody just forget all their problems over a heart attack on a bun. Skray says that "IM THE EATER OF WORLDS" before downing 10 crying Johnny's all on his own. Mr. Krabs is turned on by this because of the money he be making and the Skodbillies tells him that no one go goo goo eyes over one of their own unless they're willing to get hitched. So Krabs gets himself married into the Skyatt family as Skodwarde spends the rest of his day contemplating killing himself knowing he's now related to SpongeBob, Krabs and Patrick.

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Looks like family reunions can be killer...Well boys and ghouls, it appears we've finally reached the end of our little Peepshow. Jumping for joy? Shivering in sheer terror? Jizzing in ecstasy? All of the above? Our final tale is something I'd like to call...

142b. Skod-Cano!

One day, it was Skodwarde's time of the month because he just wasn't giving two shits today. SpongeBob even breaks out in a seasonally obligatory (and surprisingly deep) song and dance about being grateful for what you have in life and always keeping a positive attitude, but Skodwarde reminds him yet again that he has no soul and that that is exactly what's wrong with this show nowadays. They clock in at work, where Skodwarde, forgetting to put in his tampon, completely Hitler rants on everyone. From SpongeBob to Patrick to Sandy and Mr. Krabs, to Puff Mama, Plankton, Hunka Hunka Larry, Pole, Ron Jeremy, the Merbitches, Madam Hagfish and his Skodbilly kin. Why even us writers on the Skod Krew were getting blunt objects shoved up our asses by Skodwarde's god powers. Remember when SBC went offline in August? There was just no stopping him! He was bringing down the wrath of almighty God onto Bikini Bottom, and he proceeded to do so by using his god powers to awaken Mount Assuvius from it's dormancy and cause it to erupt and assplode all over the town.

The town went into a panic. Mr. Krabs, fearing for the worst (the worst being the loss of all his money), transforms into Moar Krabs and attempts to rob SpongeBob and Skodwarde of all their life's assets when CowBob RanchPants shows up and tells them that they all can simply mosey all up into that there "Volcano Shelter", which they did after giving Moar Krabs a penny. Inside, the Mayor of Bikini Bottom (who sounds an awful lot like Patrick SmartPants) moderates over a town meeting in order to come up with a solution as to how he will get his jar of pickles open. SpongeBob suggests that he calls in the Powerpuff Girls and he does that before realizing that lolwrongshow. Everybody prays to Skodwarde to open the Mayor's jar of pickles, oh, and ease the volcano's fury but they fail to realize that Skodwarde just doesn't fucking like all of them. All hope seems loss until a lone Dolphin Warrior enters the shelter and tells everyone "Heavens to murgatroid!" as well as his backstory such as how his people fell victim to the very same volcano long before Bikini Bottom came to be and how he's the very last of his people still alive today. How he is, I do not know. He tells them that in order to stop the volcano, they must appease it by sacrificing a god to it. Everybody and their mothers have absolutely no problem with sacrificing Skodwarde, considering, so they form yet another angry mob in order to throw his ass into Mount Assuvius.

Right as they're about to do it, SpongeBob steps in and offers himself as tribute (ha), saying he still has hope in Skodwarde as a person, as a show, and as a whole. And it was said that Skodwarde's heart grew one-third of a size that day. This heartfelt and touching moment goes untouched as the mob throws Skodwarde's ass in anyway (ooh burn!). Burning away in the lava, Skodwarde realizes he has god powers (duh) and simply uses them to escape the lava and heal his three hundredth degree burns. He proceeds to take his wrath out on the Bikini populace when the Dolphin Warrior is all like "Heavens to murgatroid! You all did it, you threw him in, you broke the seal, even!" Everybody has the biggest "what the fuuuuuu-" looks on their faces as the Dolphin Warrior explains how episodes 140-142 were all just apart of his elaborate scheme to get revenge on Skodwarde for being the real reason why his people were wiped out many years ago. Skodwarde suddenly remembers these events, commenting "that's why you sounded so familiar. Ah, the screams of your people. Good times, gooooood times."

The Dolphin Warrior elaborated that seven seals needed to broken in order to perform a ritual that will make it possible for his old god to be summoned from the bottomless pit in order to smite Skodwarde off the face of the ocean floor. He explains that the creation of a seamen, a successful escape from The Bikini Bottom Triangle, having sex with a hagfish, a peek into The Glory Hole, surviving a Skodbilly initiation, the eruption of Mount Assuvius, and the sacrifice of a god were the seals needed to broken in order to fully awaken the Great Old One, Pathulu!


Pathulu rises from The Glory Hole and takes control of his chosen vessel, Patrick Star by shoving itself straight up his ass. The Dolphin Warrior is all like "Exit! Stage left!" and attempts to leave Skodwarde and the Bottomites to their fate by riding on his dildo, but Skodwarde uses his trusty pew pew eye lazors to smite the last of the Dolphin Warrior race.

Skodwarde them attempts to use his god powers on the great old one, but Pathulu proves to be immune to his god powers. Skodwarde's officially fucked in the ass, quite literally, as Pathulu uses his superior might to go to town on him. Pathulu eats out the souls of some of the Bottomites before eating Krabby Patties to strengthen itself up. SpongeBob rallies the townsfolk up and urges them to believe in Skodwarde like he did and still does, but everybody and their mothers are still butthurt as fuck. Mr. Krabs and Plankton set aside their differences again in order to make people believe by pulling their guns out on all of them, ARRRR. SpongeBob then urges the audience at home to believe in Skodwarde by tuning their computers over to the Skodwarde thread, this is for the sake of the world...BOTH OUR WORLDS! And (hopefully) everyone on SBC tuned their computers over to the Skodwarde thread. Pathulu looks to finish Skodwarde off by FIRIN ITS LAZAR at him, sending him blasting up towards the surface. Everybody stopped giving a fuck a while ago and accept their fate until a beam comes firing back as Skodwarde uses his god powers to push Pathulu's lazar back at it. After some nautical nonsense involving a beam struggle that'll make DBZ look like simple child's play, as well as some childish insults and comebacks, Skodwarde overpowers Pathulu and damages it greatly. Using whatever god power he can muster, he sends a weakened Pathulu back packing into The Glory Hole's bottomless pit and ending its threat for good.

The town names Skodwarde the honorary rookie of the day and gives him the old song and dance before leaving about ten seconds into it because they're all still butthurt, considering. SpongeBob questions what becomes of his beloved as The Glory Hole spits good ole Patrick back out. He claims that "they" didn't want him down there. Hoss Delgado walks up from the crowd and is all like "Well Patrick, I guess that just means you're a TOTAL LOSER" and everybody and their mothers have a good laugh about it. Skodwarde then proceeds to spend the rest of his day listening to Tiptoe Through the Tulips by Tiny Tim while sharpening his claws for the fapping.

Did that tale send shivers down your gonads? Well it should, cuz it was my last! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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first clappy takes a hiatus, wumbo retires and now OMJ has written his last one. Then jjs gives up and buh bye skodwarde until clappy returns in a nutshell :P

It was a nice 6 episodes and I hope that you're making a cruel joke about it being your last

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127b. I ♥ Emoticons

Skodwarde is masturbating in his house (again :rolleyes: ) when he remembers that he has to go to work. As he walks to the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob joins him (much to his displeasue :pinch: ) and shows Skodwarde some of his new dances moves. Skodwarde tells SpongeBob that his dance moves suck, and SpongeBob asks Skodwarde who put him on the planet. (Ugh! ugh_zps30bfca80.png)

Later, at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob's dancing captures the attention of a talent scout, who tells him to audition at her dance studio. :kicking: A jealous Skodwarde plans to make SpongeBob dance until he passes out from exhaustion, allowing Skodwarde to audition at the studio in his place. :hands: He invites SpongeBob into his home and orders him to moonwalk on a treadmill to get into physical shape. SpongeBob not only moonwalks on the treadmill, but he grabs his crotch and throws in an "ooh ooh". michael-jackson.gif Skodwarde reads him 50 Shades of Grey in order to accelerate his fatigue, -_- but SpongeBob gets aroused instead of bored and starts masturbating furiously as he moonwalks, causing the treadmill to malfunction from his cum and explode. :o

SpongeBob asks Skodwarde when they can start dancing, so Skodwarde uses his god powers to create a complicated dance routine that SpongeBob can't mimic, and then he orders SpongeBob to mimic it. double-finger.gif SpongeBob is up all night trying to get the dance routine right, but he finally passes out from exhaustion, much to Skodwarde's delight. :squiddance: Skodwarde goes to the dance studio and auditions for the talent scout, who loves the audition so much that she orgasms. :wub: She sends him to dance in Skolliam's group, and Skolliam, after seeing his audition, asks Skodwarde who put him on the planet.ugh2_zps682fad6d.png

Was this episode co-written by 4EverGreen?

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Was this episode co-written by 4EverGreen?

Yes it was


Now for a surprise, Skodwarde fans...another guest write by me!:


129A. Cooking With Dumb Squirrels


One day, Sandy the dumbass squirrel decided to go to the Krusty Krab, but drove her space rocket into SpongeBob, so she has to be the fry cook. Then, Plankton sees this and decides to steal the recipe for having sex to make the perfect burger. So, he steals Sandy's pelt and Sandy is so embarrassed that she stays home and builds a robot to go into the sex caverns to get into whatever Plankton's home is called. But Karen defeats Sandy and publicly embarrasses and gets her arrested right before SB gets better.


Now here's the fun part. Plankton battles Krabs in a porn contest. Then Skodwarde comes in to make it the biggest threesome ever. It's way too much for everyone, so they blow up. Patrick comes and sees and freaks out because it's all like Nasty Patty with dark humor and stuff. Patrick buries everyone until in heaven Skodwarde realizes he can revive everyone, and so he does.


In jail, Sandy the dummy leads a riot against bad prison songs when nobody does anything, so she goes all crazy and whatever dumb squirrels do. Lesson learned: Stay away from the stupid squirrels or else you'll catch their dumb-ness because it became a virus through this squirrel.


I added a dash of squirrel jokes for good measure.

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Here ye, here ye, a new Skodwarde approaches!


129B. The "Inside" Job


One day, we find Plankton sitting on his lazy ass, fapping to some good ole anemone porn, when Karen shuts it off and bitches about how the Cum Bucket and her husband is a big fat failure. Plankton tells her off as two "customers" come in, who are really just two deadbeats surveying the most disgusting places in Bikini Bottom. Plankton, discouraged by this, gives up and lets Karen do all the work from now on, which results in Plankton being flung from the Cum Bucket to Mr. Krab's brain to gain the Krabby Patty secret formula...


...except everything goes terribly wrong and Plankton ends up inside SpongeBob, who in turn, was just about to go into work and fuck up Sandy. During this little thing, Plankton ends up inside Sandy's vagina and gets something disgusting on him...you don't want to know the rest do you? (pervs)


Disgusted, Plankton retreats to his home, takes a shower, and fucks up his wife, causing her and the entire building to explode. Skodwarde, in his first appearance in this episode, uses his god powers to end this piece of shit of an episode that has derailed from the original plotline too much.



Skodwarde is hired by the Nazi corporation, Viacom, to terminate the Nickelodeon splat logo. Skodwarde is successful in this, and the splat is replaced with this hideous logo:




Skodwarde will never be the same again...

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Be prepared for quite possibly the dirtiest episodes of any show I've wrote for.


130a. Greasy Politics


One night, SpongeBob was jerking off in the Krusty Krab, when he accidentally discovered a secret trap door filled with a container of sweaty grease. You know, the kind that would belong to that overweight sweaty 40 year old lonely pedo who works at McDonalds, and probably masturbates to Skodwarde's God Porn in his basement. Mr. Krabs asks what in the hell this is doing here, and Skodwarde confesses that he used his god powers to steal all the grease from every McDonalds and Burger Kings in the world, and stored them underneath the Krusty Krab so Michelle Obama could stop getting on America about obesity and eating healthier and all that crap. Mr. Krabs is furious about this, and demands Skodwarde to transfer it somewhere else. Skodwarde, who doesn't feel like hearing Mr. Krabs' PMS Hour for the umpteenth time, uses his god powers to transport all the grease outside the Cum Bucket.


The next morning, Plankton wakes from his cummy slumber, and walks outside to see grease all over the ground. Plankton, thinking it is cum, asks Karen if he sleep-fucked her, but she denies it, saying her sensors didn't detect any sexual activity. Plankton tastes some of the substance, and analyzes it as grease (no shit, sherlock). He decides to sell it off to the overweight sweaty 40 year old lonely pedo who works at McDonalds demographic. Plankton begins putting all the grease into his cum meals, and the Cum Bucket for the first time in what feels like decades, gets customers.


Mr. Krabs, while wanking in his tub of money, sees a line at the Cum Bucket, and pops a humungous boner of anger, sending Skodwarde flying into the Cum Bucket. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob go there to see what black magic is occurring at the Cum Bucket, and sees Plankton feeding the greasy cum burgers to the animals in the kitchen. There's massive fuck war going on in there, and it is pretty messy, with cum, grease, and jizz everywhere, but Plankton was selling them like propaganda. Skodwarde asks all the overweight fish in there if they'd like to find their penis for one dollar, while Plankton and Mr. Krabs get into another corporate cock contest. Mr. Krabs says his cock is bigger, and that he'll obviously win. Plankton refuses to believe him, but Mr. Krabs rips off his trousers to show his giant meaty cocky, and Plankton admits he'll give him that one. Scooter also manages to find his penis, thus getting a dollar from Skodwarde.


Mr. Krabs, Skodwarde, and SpongeBob are kicked out of the Cum Bucket. Skodwarde then uses his god powers to send some of the grease back to the Krusty McDonalds, where SpongeBob starts serving extra grease on all the food. All the sweaty fish move there, with the introduction of the Big Mac, Whopper, ect. Mr. Krabs starts orgasming in the money he is making, and SpongeBob asks if what he is doing is wrong, but Mr. Krabs says what is wrong is supporting Obamacare, and not flipping those grease for the krustomers. Plankton begins introducing moar products with his leftover grease, and the customers begin running back and forth, surprisingly getting some exercise out of it. Pole storms in, and shouts for some Big Macs. SpongeBob tosses them at her and she devours them all, and she begins stripping with her friends for the greasy fish. Patrick, being the slob he is, chows down on the greasy food, and faps to Pole's stripping.


Just then, a health inspector (JCM in a cameo) arrived in-between the Cum Burger and Krusty McDonalds, to see grease everywhere. He asks Mr. Krabs and Plankton where this all came from, and they try to sneakily hide it like a politician. SpongeBob then confesses they have been feeding people grease, to which JCM replies "that's gross". Suddenly, Barack Obama, with Michelle Obama and his Democratic gang arrived in a campaign at Bikini Bottom, advertising Obamacare. Obama arrives at the giant greasy mess, and orders for Mr. Krabs and Plankton to clean up this unhealthiness, or he will order a restaurant shutdown. Skodwarde uses his god powers to take all the grease from Bikini Bottom, and he dumps it onto the White House. He also causes a United States government shutdown, sick and tired of this Obamacare bullshit, and restaurant cock contest. The economy goes into a ruckus, and Skodwarde is hunted by government officials. Mr. Krabs and Plankton are taken into jail for selling illegal grease, while SpongeBob still occasionally visits Mr. Krabs, delivering him his money pornos.



130b. Porn Star Sponge


Due to the government shutdown of the previous episode, SpongeBob needs a job in the hard times. While bawling over the temporary closing of the Krusty McDonal-I mean, Krusty Krab, he seeks out a new hobby for the time being. SpongeBob finds a new career: Being a porno star.


Elastic Dog confronts SpongeBob, and says he has the perfect body to star in SBC: An X-Rated Pornographic Fantasy. It makes millions, and SpongeBob becomes a pornographic star, even spawning his own "SpongeBob SquarePants's Butter. You won't believe you're eating SpongeBob SquarePants' butter." He also spawned some other pornographic tales such as "Sponge's Juice", "XXXSpongeStripperXXX", "Anemone Porn Gone Wild: With Sponge Action", and "Naughty Starfish on Sponge Action". They were hits on the black market with the overweight sweaty 40 year old lonely pedo who works at McDonalds demographic, and other porn fanatics. SpongeBob had a new hobby going for him, and he ignored the government shutdown to focus on sucking the D and V.


Meanwhile, we see Barack Obama back at a press conference on land, telling the public about the shutdown.


"That's right, Skodwarde Testicles, of the underwater world, has caused a government shutdown. If you've seen this deranged mad man, contact government officials. I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message." Obama announced, showing an image of the culprit on screen:




The Republicans and Democrats get their panties in a knot over this, causing a huge debate over the legitimacy of this claim. What else is new?


Meanwhile meanwhile, Skodwarde uses his god powers to blow up some cops after him. He also checks out PornHub.com (if you type that out, I am not responsible), and is proud of SpongeBob's work on his pornographic films, saying "That's my boy!"


Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Patrick wants to work off all the weight he gained from the grease, so he jogs in the national Bikini Bottom Park. Unfortunately, he gets arrested by the Funky Cops for entering closed ground during the shutdown, and is fined $100. What a dumbass.


Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, the prisoners, and now Patrick, are playing Russian Roulette in the cell, when one prisoner brings out SpongeBob's pornos, and they all watch them. Mr. Krabs then proudly says "Aye, that's me boy!"


Elsewhere, SpongeBob gains some more Oscars for his pornographic success, "sucking to the hardest he ever could," quoted his manager, Elastic Dog. SpongeBob got caught up in the moment, and loved his naughty pornographic career. His next big feature involved Sandy, and it was called "Squirrels + Sponges = Hot Action", and Elastic was filming it, saying "work it baby". Hans was even involved, greasing up SpongeBob in leftover grease, ready for some hot Sandy sex action, much to Spandy fans orgasming across Skodwarde forums, with Skodwarde being pissed off as to why he never heard of there being a any forums based on him before.


In the end however, Skodwarde realizes that politics are stupid, and he uses god powers to undo the shutdown, and end this giant clusterfuck, reverting everything back to normal. Mr. Krabs orgasms in excitement to have the Krusty Krab back again, and Plankton is pissed off at the status quo being reverted back so fast. Mr. Krabs then steps on Plankton, and yells "SO LONG, SHRIMP!", and tosses him back into the Cum Bucket, with Plankton yelling "I WENT TO COLLEGE!" SpongeBob ends his short-lived porn industry career, and works back at the Krusty Krab, undoing the overweight problem in the ocean, handling it much better than Michelle Obama's campaigns. All the fish become healthy again, and Elastic Dog becomes a a rich bitch from SpongeBob's pornographic success. Skodwarde however, is furious Elastic left him out of these pornographic nautical tales, but Elastic allows him to become his next porn star, and Skodwarde agrees. Naughtiness ensued. *xat smirk face*

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131b. A Pal For Spongey (AKA one of the shortest episodes you'll get nowadays)


After the torture fest of the regular A Pal For Gary, which many viewers died from due to the Gary abuse (literally), Gary makes a deal with Skodwarde saying he can give SpongeBob the worst treatment ever in a day. First SB gets stung by a million jellyfish. It burnt him to a crisp. Then Sandy broke his heart by going to jail for no god darn stinkin reason. He also realizes Sandy is a girl. He then gets lost and loses the Krusty Krab. Finally he wakes up and discovers that he's dead, sees his errors and lives again. Then Skodwarde becomes famous within 15 seconds for a revenge service and with Plankton as a client, SpongeBob gets brutally attacked over and over again. Well did ya like that? Well, you shouldn't, if you could tell that this was rushed and the creator of this actually allowed it, now hate this horridness or Skodwarde will get his revenge on you.

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Dirty dirty liar mates. Here's 132:


132A. Mine, Mine, MINE!

One day at the Krusty Krab, Patrick casually orders a Krabby Kiddie Meal (which are REALLY adorable fyi). Due to Patrick not having a fucking job, he resorts to stealing SpongeBob's money. SpongeBob at first is okay with this, but when Patrick doesn't save any food for him, SpongeBob turns into a wild beast and starts pounding on Patrick. After about 5 minutes, both notice a Krusty Condom toy laying randomly at the bottom of the box...which results in more fights over who gets what.


After 20 minutes of bitching over a fucking condom, Skodwarde, seeing this as an opportunity to reek more havoc at the Krusty Krab, Skodwarde uses his god powers to summon Daffy Duck, a sex crazed and greedy duck from the world above. This turns out to be a grave mistake for Skodwarde, for Daffy Duck ends up destroying the whole fucking place with his "hoo-hoos" and his "MINE MINE MINES!"


Mr. Krabs, angered at his restaurant being destroyed by an insane duck, gets Skodwarde to summon Elmer Fudd to the sea. However, Elmer is just as much of a dumbass as Patrick, so Elmer fails to shoot the duck and ends up shooting innocent fish folk who miraculously survived the destruction of the restaurant. At the end of the episode, the Funky Cops come in and take Mr. Krabs to jail, due to the mass murdering of over 100 fish people things whatevers.



On Thursday, October 24th, 2013, Mr. Krabs was held guilty for the charges of Murder and being a Cheap-Ass Rip-Off. He is currently doing his time at Bikini Bottom Jail, where he is sentenced to 20 years in prison.


And who would have thought all this would have happened because of a little condom in a kids meal?


132B. Cocked Crabs

Years after the events of the last episode, Mr. Krabs is sent an invitation by his fellow cheapskate "friends" that the annual Cock Convention is in town, and Mr. Krabs is a nominee for the Biggest Cock In Bikini Bottom contest. Mr. Krabs, hoping to win the heart of some lady krabs, graciously accepts the invitation and gets SpongeBob to come along for the ride.


To save money on the trip there, Mr. Krabs shoves his trunk and SpongeBob up his ass and rides in his boat, much to the dismay of SpongeBob. When they arrive, they are greeted by other crabs who are fucking the ladies in the lobby with their big dicks. Before Mr. Krabs can get a piece of the action, the manager walks in and tells them to get the fuck out of the lobby.


Later that day, the Biggest Cock contest is on. The 3 nominees have sent poster size (which are being sold for money) pics of their dicks. Mr. Krabs, being the smallest out of the bunch, gets SpongeBob to make up a lie so that he can win the contest. It all goes horribly wrong as SpongeBob says his dick is tiny and that tiny motherfucking cock raped Miley Cyrus, the most disgusting slut on Earth. Disgusted, Mr. Krabs is disqualified from the contest.


Just when the winner is being announced, Skodwarde teleports in naked to show off his big dick, and Skodwarde is immediately declared the winner, thus ending the episode that the fucking writer kept pushing back forever. 

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133a. Ghost Busters


One day, SpongeBob and Patrick were jerking off in a graveyard on a lawnmower that they "borrowed" from Skodwarde, when it accidentally summoned The Flying Dutchman from his masturbation marathon. The Dutchman peeps up his head out of the ground, and the lawnmower accidentally runs over his head, trimming off his sexy beard. This makes him furious, as the beard is what attracted his hot date that he was going to fuck tonight. He then confronts SpongeBob and Patrick for this, and he turns them into ghosts for all of eternity to punish them. SpongeBob and Patrick then decide to troll people as ghosts. They try to spook Skodwarde during his porn marathon, but he uses his god powers to make The Ghostbusters appear as revenge for stealing his lawnmower.




The Ghostbusters use their machinery to capture SpongeBob and Patrick, chanting "Who ya gonna call?". However, just then, Danny Phantom appeared, with his signature theme song playing in the background:



The Ghostbusters and Danny Phantom had a fight over who got the ghost prizes. In the midst of Skodwarde's house being torn apart, the lights were flickering on and off thanks to Nosferatu (JCM in a cameo).




During the lulzy showdown, SpongeBob and Patrick escaped as ghosts with Skodwarde, and they went to a porn club. Skodwarde uses his god powers to turn himself into a ghost, and says it isn't half bad. The Flying Dutchman is there, and is pissed he doesn't have a beard for his date. Skodwarde then uses his god powers to grow him a bushy black beard that will make any woman orgasm. The Dutchman's hot date appeared, who came in like a wrecking ball:






133b. Skodwarde in Porn Land


One day, Skodwarde was at the Krusty Krab with a heavy stash of porn, consisting of his god porn of himself, german pornos, Hitler pornos, and SpongeBob's pornos from his short-lived career. Skodwarde was ready to have a marathon of them during work. He was in a perfect mood despite Mr. Krabs scraping his claws on chalkboard, and a customer's breath punching Skodwarde in the face like "POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSER!". Just then, Diane Pickles approached Skodwarde in his boat with her son Tommy Pickles, and he shot milk from his milk bottle onto Skodwarde's porn stash, but he says no worries, as they were safe in his suitcase. Tommy Pickles gets fascinated by this, and leans over, but drools over the porn stash, causing Skodwarde to explode. Angelica then appears and tells Tommy to stop drooling on people's porn, but let's let that carry back into Rugrats, because Skodwarde is about to experience an amazing pot trip.


Skodwarde complains to Mr. Krabs about these conditions, and Mr. Krabs says he can have a locker to store his porn. Skodwarde uses his god powers to make a locker appear in the kitchen, and he tells SpongeBob to keep his paws off of it, or he'll fuck him publicly in front of the customers while beating him with his giant dick (it did win the Cock Convention for a reason, you know). SpongeBob however, being himself, sneaks into Skodwarde's locker, and he forms an entire storage room behind it. Skodwarde goes in to retrieve his porn stash, but sees it is missing. He is about to do what he threatened he'd do to SpongeBob earlier, but he crawls in to see the new storage room. Skodwarde is mindfucked, and sees SpongeBob rearranging his porn suitcase in different folders. Getting creeped out, Skodwarde uses his god powers to bring it back to the locker, but SpongeBob moves it again into Drawer 69. Skodwarde is getting pissed, so he uses his god powers to throw SpongeBob back in the kitchen, and lock him out of the locker.


Skodwarde then sees his porn stash has gone missing though when he opens the drawer, and is even more mindfucked. He then sees SpongeBob running away with his suitcase, and Skodwarde threatens he is going to fuck SpongeBob twice as hard now. He then follows SpongeBob through a curtain, and he comes to Porn Land, a land filled with homes made out of porn tapes. He is looking for SpongeBob, when he comes across a giant talking dildo. The giant dildo says Skodwarde has disturbed Porn Land, and that he does not respect the art of porn. The dildo swallows Skodwarde through its urethra, and Skodwarde is now in the testicles of the dildo. He then sees SpongeBob running through it, and then sees Michael Jackson playing Thriller:



Skodwarde moon walks along with Michael Jackson, realizing this must be where dead people go, while both try to find SpongeBob through the penis functions. They come to a strip club through the left testicle, and hear a strange mix of songs playing in the background, including parts Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, I Want To Hold Your Hand by The Beatles, and The Musical Box by Genesis, all included to avoid copyright from YouTube. We see a DJ (JCM in a cameo) jamming out by mixing the songs, as Michael Jackson began dancing. Skodwarde himself is creeped the fuck out by this. While he appreciates all three artists behind them, he feels this is what happens when he smokes too much pot. Skodwarde begins to fuck JCM up the ass with his giant dick, causing JCM to say "lol", and he explodes, causing the sound equipment to also explode, making a blackout in the nightclub. Skodwarde is not amused, and distorts his face to a familiar image.




He uses his god powers to find SpongeBob, and he transports himself at the bottom of a giant mountain of weed. At the top, SpongeBob and Patrick were jerking off to Skodwarde's porn collection.




Skodwarde hikes to the top of the weed mountain, and he uses his god powers to make the both of them suck their own dicks, and he also fucks the both of them with his giant dick. SpongeBob and Patrick try to apologize, but he refuses to accept their apology, and he turns them both into condoms. He tried to get his porn collection back, but the TV isn't ejecting them. The TV and Skodwarde get into a massive fuck-off, but just then, a pinball machine then appears and crushes the TV, with The Who playing Pinball Wizard, with a magic Pinball Wizard.



Skodwarde, while appreciating the use of The Who, is furious his porn stash is gone. The Pinball Wizard uses his wand to cause himself to win the pinball machine, and a mouth on Condom!Patrick says he is feeling "the pressure". The room then explodes due to a WTF Boom, and Skodwarde goes floating into space. He sees SpongeBob no longer a condom, with his porn stash heading toward a tunnel of light. They both run into it, and came out of a mother's vagina in the hospital.


"Congratulations Mrs. Palin, you have given birth to a beautiful Squid and Sponge," Dr. House said. "Now get the fuck out of my hospital."


All three then scream, and Skodwarde and SpongeBob go exploding out of the hospital again. Skodwarde slams into the front of his locker, as he comes out back at the Krusty Krab with his beloved porn stash, which he faps on. He finally catches up with SpongeBob at the grill, and he begins fucking him as hard as possible, with Mr. Krabs entering in, sexually aroused by this. He then grabs his porn stash back, and asks SpongeBob how he likes it. SpongeBob says he liked it very much. Just then, Michael Bay appears on set, and Skodwarde asks how the hell Bay got on this show. Bay reveals he was the mastermind behind the explosions for the lulz, and Skodwarde sends Michael Bay and SpongeBob through the Fly of Despair.




Skodwarde then writes a note to himself to not get extra high before having a porn marathon. Just then though, Michael Jackson appears again, and slaps Skodwarde across the face with his signature white glove, and asks him to "beat it". Skodwarde then screams, and jumps through the Fly of Despair, declaring this is a pot trip that has gone too far, as Michael Jackson plays this in the Krusty Krab:


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Out of order episodes are out of order.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you my final episode of Skodwarde as a main writer.  Not my best work, but who knows, I could appear for a guest write somewhere down the line.  But alas, my time as a main writer is up.  It's been a hoot and a half.



137B. Gary in Lust


One day Spongebob takes Gary to a snail strip club called The Dirty Slug where Gary falls in love with this fine ass shawty named Mary. But Mary's mack daddy R Snelly (guest spot by R Kelly) threatens Gary but Mary ignores her pimp and falls in love with Gary which angers R Snelly and tells Gary "When I'm done with you, you're going to be trapt in the closet deeper than Tom Cruise." Then SpongeBob comes and tells Gary they're leaving as well as Mary who thinks R Snelly is being ridiculous. The next day Gary sneaks out of the house because he's more in love with a stripper than T-Pain. SpongeBob awakes to find n00dz of Mary which he thinks is Gary leading them to think that it is a ransom note from a snailphomaniac, so he sets out to "save" Gary.  Meanwhile, Gary stays onto a sidewalk with dozens of snail pimps keeping their bitches in line. A few seconds later, R Snelly and his friends ransack the store so that the bitches can tell him where Gary is. During the ransack, Gary escapes. The other snails see what appears to be Gary only to find out it's just Lary making a return appearance to get one offed. Gary then sees his boo Mary but sees her in a car and jumps on top of other cars in order to find her. Gary succeeds but then he finds out that FREEZE!  MARY'S A COP!  She arrests Gary for soliciting male prostitution....


*meanwhile in the fourth wall*


Clappy:  Hehehe!  This is the perfect way to end my time here as a Skodwarde main writer.  Basically knocking off that one episode of South Park where Butters became a pimp and that one cop went undercover to stop prostitution.  You know what would make this episode even funnier?  By talking that street talk.  Calling Mary a fine ass shawty is genius.  Oh and how about throwing a R Kelly guest spot for no reason whatsoever just because R Kelly jokes are always funny.  Yeah!  Perfect!


Skodwarde:  You call this a parody?


Clappy:  Huh?  I must be going delusional.  I could have sworn for a minute that I was talking to myself, this computer, and making Skodwarde actually come to life.


Skodwarde:  You are going delusional.  It's 1:24 AM early Monday morning.  You are 24 years old.  You can't keep up with the young people like you once were able to.  You need bed rest.


Clappy:  Are you sure?


Skodwarde:  Does this look unsure to you?




Clappy: No


Skodwarde:  Then you must make up for this letdown of a final episode the right way and go to sleep.


Clappy: You're right.  Thanks Skodwarde.


Skodwarde:  Good because you must die now and get replaced by younger and funnier writers.


*Clappy gets slain and replaced by CNF and JCM*


CNF:  Fuck yeah Skodwarde!  Hell to the fucking yeah!  FUCK!


JCM:  Oh sweet.  Someone actually recognizes my comedic genius.  Let's end this episode the right way CNF.


*fourth wall unbroken*


As soon as Mary reveals the worst plot twist in Skod history, Skodwarde reappears and exterminates all proof of this episode's futile existence with a Nazi raid.  So he decides to end this episode the new writer way.


CNF's ending:


Gary and Mary fuck because they are horny bastards.  That other snail from the end of the original episode re-appear and they have a threesome so they can fuck some more.  Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!  CNF wins the "fuck" award back from Halibut as he reclaims his throne as the king of overusing the word fuck.


JCM's ending:


Skodwarde gets pleased by 69 more prostitutes as he watches this new episode end the right way which is of course the snails being sent into a sex slave trade as SpongeBob watches the movie Taken to reclaim Gary from becoming a snail prostitute.  The orange coned cop from Keep My Bikini Bottom Bootyful gives JCM a ticket for referencing pop culture too much.




JCM and CNF. I hope you guys don't mind my lame attempts at humor with your endings.  Because both of you would definitely write better endings to this than I would.  I just thought I'd have some fun

:P.   On another note, I welcome both of you with open arms.  I actually really enjoy your episodes of Skodwarde a lot and I think both of you are perfect replacements to OMJ, Wumbo, and I.  I wish the two of you and of course jjs the best of luck with the future of Skodwarde.  Let me know if you guys want me to guest write someday.  I would be honored. :)


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What's this? A new Skodwarde episode? :o


Patchy: *fapping to anemone porn* Argh, it's a Skodwarde Special!

Potty: Squak, don't show that on the screen Patchy!

Patchy: Oh shut up bird.

Potty: That's it!

*Patchy and Potty engage in a fist fight as we interlude into the special*


134. Skodwarde's Last Stand

It was just another average day at the Krusty Krab. Skodwarde is the sole worker today, as SpongeBob and his idiotic friend, Patrick are at the shitty Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob and Patrick attempt to catch some rare specimens of Jellyfish, but end up getting stung in places where the sun don't shine.


While resting, the two come across a sign for the Shelly Superhighway, which is planned to be built over...JELLYFISH FIELDS! SpongeBob and Patrick, sad over the whole skeptical, end up running to the Krusty Krab in tears in little less than 5 seconds (that's animation for yah!).


SpongeBob and Patrick break the news to Mr. Krabs, who is uninterested because the highway is supposed to go right by his restaurant. But when SpongeBob points out that the project is being run by none other than Plankton, proprietor of the Cum Bucket (we've got the most delicious cum in town!), Mr. Krabs runs into his office and cries like the big fat baby he is.


SpongeBob and Patrick then move over to Skodwarde to get his support. Skodwarde, being the jackass he is, ignores the two as whatever the little dumbasses have to say doesn't matter to he, an almighty god. When SpongeBob's speech is over, Skodwarde notices on the construction plans that The Bikini Bottom Weed Emporium is planned to be torn down!


Skodwarde, using his almighty god powers, teleports to the Cum Bucket to murder the little sea creature. Plankton, foreseeing this encounter, has already come prepared and has brought the almighty wizard Planktonamor back to the present day. Skodwarde and Planktonamor have a God/Wizard battle, with Skodwarde ending up losing. Discouraged, Skodwarde walks home to mope.


Finally, the day of the bulldozing of Jellyfish Fields and The Bikini Bottom Weed Emporium has arrived. A big parade is being held for the occasion. As a last ditch effort, SpongeBob and Patrick use the power of SINGING to attract people away from the bulldozing. As no one gives a shit about the environment, SpongeBob ends up getting run down by a bulldozer, driven by the jackass Plankton, with Planktonamor by his side.


Patrick, actually being smart, abandoned SpongeBob and persuaded Skodwarde to come and fight for his weed! Skodwarde arrives at the event just before the emporium is about to meet its demise. Planktonamor, always looking for more competition, accepts Skodwarde's challenge and the two have the most epic fight in all of God/Wizard history. Skodwarde wins the battle and sends Planktonamor back to the past.


With help from SpongeBob, Patrick, the Park Rangers, and donations from the Weed Emporium, Jellyfish Fields is restored to its original state. The Funky Cops make a cameo appearance to arrest Plankton of destroying an environmental habitat for self gain. The Weed Emporium re-opens its doors (with Skodwarde getting stoned). The Krusty Krab starts to gain money once more. And the best of all, all the Bikini Bottomites come together in Jellyfish Fields to sing The Jellyfish Song.


And remember folks, smoke weed every day. #4/20.

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135a. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VII: Back to the Future Part IV

SpongeBob and Patrick are jerking each other off in Jellyfish Fields when SpongeBob notices Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy stranded in the middle of the road in their invisible boatmobile. After blowing their loads, SpongeBob and Patrick walk up to Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and ask what they can do to help their favorite heroes. Barnacle Boy tells them that the boatmobile is out of gas, and he suggests that they carry him and Mermaid Man to the Mermalair on their backs. SpongeBob and Patrick, being the suck-ups they are, happily comply.

Skodwarde is in his garden watering his penis flytrap when he sees SpongeBob and Patrick piggybacking Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy down the street. To mess with them, Skodwarde uses his god powers to transport them back in time to 1985 where SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy find themselves in the middle of a huge, disgusting orgy. They escape from the wonders of pre-AIDS Bikini Bottom into Skodwarde's tiki house, the inside of which is now a huge laboratory. SpongeBob spots a nearby calendar which says that the current year is 1985, and he realizes that he's not in Kansas anymore.

At that moment, a younger version of Skodwarde with wacky hair walks out of another room with an open robe, flashing all his glory at his houseguests. SpongeBob tells Skodwarde that they're from the future, Mermaid Man says that they were on their way to the Mermalair when they got caught up in some "weird, hippie sex ritual", Barnacle Boy says that they need to find their way back, and Patrick says that Skodwarde has "an amazing cock". Skodwarde processes all this information, and then he closes his robe (much to Patrick's chagrin) and tells the group to follow him to another room.

Once they're all in the room together, Skodwarde unveils his latest invention, a time-travelling DeLorean. Skodwarde tells them that it's just what they need in order to go back to the future, but he warns them that he hasn't tested it out yet and that it may have side effects he doesn't know about. While Skodwarde goes into detail about the DeLorean, talking about flux capacitors and 1.21 jigowatts and that shit, Patrick finds another invention in the corner, this one resembling a remote control. Out of curiousity, he mashes all of its buttons, and it shoots a beam at Skodwarde, causing his hair to fall out and turning him into the Hitler-loving squid we all know and love.

Skodwarde yells at Patrick for messing with his "gene mutation thingamajig", and he uses his newfound god powers to make Patrick implode. SpongeBob, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy hurriedly squeeze into the DeLorean, set the time to the present date, and crash through Skodwarde's wall and ride down the street as the DeLorean accelerates to 88 miles per hours, sending them back to the future, which is right outside the Mermalair. SpongeBob is overjoyed that he won't have to carry Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy there all by himself until he realizes that he now has random, uncontrollable movements. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy also have uncontrollable movements, and it turns out that one of the side effects of time travel is Parkinson's disease. Then they get NBC sitcoms and live happily ever after. The End.

Edited by jjsthekid
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