Clappy Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 I promise I'll have my 1999 list when I come back. Don't have it tonight. Been having a hard time relistening to some of these songs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 I knooow it's upppp for me IF YOU STEAL MY SUNSHINE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 The moment that Wumbo has been waiting for. Let's flashback to 1999. Of course just like last time, I'm going to start off with my worst list and then do my best list later. I'm going to do #10 - #6 tonight and I'll have #5 - #1 tomorrow. But without further ado, here comes: CLAPPY'S TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 1999 Let's start this list off right with something that simply pains me to point out here. WHY IS "GOD MUST HAVE SPENT A LITTLE MORE TIME ON YOU" TWICE IN THE SAME YEAR!?! It's a very touching song. I like it. It's not on either of these lists, but one is just N'Sync and the other is a collaboration between Alabama and N'Sync. This shouldn't have happened Billboard. Come on. Now that I got that out of the way, time for a song that I'm ashamed to put on here from a band that I love. 10. Pearl Jam - "Last Kiss" Spoiler So this is apparently a cover of 1961 blues song Last Kiss by Wayne Cochran. After listening to the original version, it bored me to tears as well. I have no idea if this was a hit or not (I assume so since why else would they cover it?), but the reason to cover this is because.....why? This cover isn't even vintage good. This is just incredibly boring. So I guess they did the cover justice. This song is just painfully boring and it's the same chord scheme over and over again. I tried to keep up with the story, but I couldn't...just too boring to pay attention to. Eddie Vedder knows how to sell songs pretty damn well, but he can't save this never ending love ballad. You can just tell he is going through the motions and...WHY WAS THIS NEAR THE TOP 20 FOR THE END OF THE YEAR? You guys can love it because it's Pearl Jam, but I expected much better. Oh hey speaking of boring songs. You know who was MASSIVE in 1999? Is "Hit Me Baby One More Time" on either list? Tune in and find out. Until then, let me tell you what song of hers is on here. 9. Britney Spears - "Sometimes" Spoiler This is seriously the follow up to one of the biggest pop songs of the 90s? *yawns* Do I really need to go any more deeper? I really hate boring love ballads. This song is as generic as they come. You could have given it to Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera, or any other of the late 90s young female pop singers and this would be just as boringly bland. I'll give her this though. At least Britney Spears gets much more generic in the years that fly by. Especially in 2013 when generic bad songs are even worse now thanks to autotune. Spoiler 8. Will Smith - "Wild Wild West" Spoiler Oh yeah, 1999 was also the year that Will Smith started to lose his ability to rap. Oh and he made the worst movie of his career until After Earth appeared in the self titled song. Absolutely awful movie. I think my hatred for this movie had a lot to do with my hatred for this song. I mean the lyrics aren't horrendous or anything. However, repeating the word "Wild Wild West" nearly 100 times is overkill. You want a modern day comparison to this song? Spoiler Yeah "Wild Wild West" is a 90s version of "Imma Bee". That bad. 7. Mark Chesnutt - "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Spoiler Oh dear god. No. HELL NO! HHHEEELLLLLLLL NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND BECAME POPULAR?! THEY MADE A COUNTRY COVER OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS!?!?!? WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY????????????? Now that I got that out of the way, let me point the obvious reason this is awful. Spoiler I mean say what you want about Steven Tyler but he saved Armageddon from being a laughable disaster. While I hate that movie, this song came from that movie so clearly Armageddon wasn't absolute crap. It's just awesome and a great rock ballad that helped make me realize how awesome of a band Aerosmith really is. What does country do to this? Makes it a super slow ballad and takes the rock out of it. Because without Steven Tyler selling the hell out of "I DON'T WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES", you have no awesomeness. Oh and while I'm at it, who the hell is Mark Chesnutt? I sure hope this guy didn't cover anything else. That's another point, why the hell are there so many cover songs around this time frame? Was the music industry really starting to run out of hit ideas? Spoiler Spoiler Apparently so. 6. JT Money (featuring Solé) - "Who Dat" Spoiler Oh god. This song. I can't take it seriously. Do I really need to point out how awful the chorus is? Aiy ya ya ya ya ya ya Aiy ya ya ya ya ya ya Who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat, who? Who dat, who dat, who dat tryin' to get up in my crew? Lyrics from a true wordsmith. So yeah, the point of this song? Trying to figure out who this gentleman is trying to get in JT Money's crew. Yo, who dat off-brand (censored) tryin' to hang wit the clique? Flossin' like you came wit the clique But would you bang with the clique if it was thick Or do you just ride dick? This is just one of the many homophobic insults in this song. Along with other stereotypical raps about how much money he makes, how much weed he smokes, and how many girls he gets. Which btw, this Sole chick is too irrelevant for me to care. Just like JT Money here because guess what? He'll never find out who dat person is trying to get up in his crew since this was his only hit. This song would rank higher if it wasn't for the fact that this song thankfully doomed JT Money to one hit wonderdom. At least the stupid chorus leaves an impression. #5 - #1 coming tomorrow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 So what's worse? "Wild Wild West" the song or Wild Wild West the movie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 WHY IS "GOD MUST HAVE SPENT A LITTLE MORE TIME ON YOU" TWICE IN THE SAME YEAR!?! Probably the same reason the original Cruise and its Nelly remix both hit the top 20. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 So what's worse? "Wild Wild West" the song or Wild Wild West the movie?The movie. Should have made that more clear. The song is stupid and awful though regardless. Probably would have placed Enrique's song "Bailamos" in the Bottom 10 if my hatred for the movie "Wild Wild West" wasn't as bad. Might have to do a Crap Cinema installment for that movie to further elaborate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 Probably the same reason the original Cruise and its Nelly remix both hit the top 20.At least Cruise was given credit to Florida Georgia Line both times. N'Sync was given credit for the original version solely. The credit for the second version was primarily Alabama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 Sorry to the two or three people that still read this. Here are #5 - #1. 5. Deborah Cox - "Nobody's Suppose to Be Here" Spoiler WOO! DEBORAH COX MANIA! ......... Seriously, who the fuck is Deborah Cox? And why does she have a Top 10 year end spot over much better female R&B singers like Mariah Carey? Whitney Houston (except for Heartbreak Hotel)? Destiny's Child? Faith Evans (now I'm starting to stretch a bit)? Seriously a lot of these ladies were apparently chart blocked by Miss Cox. As soon as I clicked play, these were my first thoughts: A little? Sorry Randy, but that chorus is consistently pitchy. I don't know who those back up singers are, but my god. They are distracting awful. Deborah Cox is not bad as a singer dawg, but those back up singers are noticeably bad. Even with the back up singers problems, they aren't the only thing wrong. If I complained about boringly bad two of the songs were on this list, this is even more boring. Female R&B has never been that appealing to me outside of the powerhouse divas like Mariah and Whitney, but this just bores me to tears. Seriously, I think a tear shed as I listened to this again while typing out my explanation. How in the hell was this #1 for 14 weeks on the R&B charts and #2 for 8 weeks on the overall charts? Plus #60 on the end of the decade charts? That is amazing. Nothing could top it? Not a thing? How was that possible? How did this song get here? It's not suppose to be there. Thankfully this is the end of the boringly bad stuff and now we just get to the plain old bad songs. You know as much as I want to complain about how stupid Livin' La Vida Loca is. I couldn't find myself hating it entirely. That chorus is just too catchy. Too bad Ricky Martin is unbelievably corny when it came to romance though. 4. Ricky Martin - "Bella (She's All I Ever Had)" Spoiler Sorry but the song is entirely in Spanish. Fortunately I took some Spanish in high school to understand some words. Oh and thankfully I'm on the internet to point out how corny these lyrics are in English: Beautiful Beautiful during the sunrise Just for me Beautiful A beauty of a woman Beautiful Beautiful during the sunrise I am here, doing really bad and so alone Beautiful A beauty of a woman Beautiful Beautiful during the sunrise I want her to come back to me Beautiful A beauty of a woman Ok we get it Ricky. You think a woman is beautiful. That doesn't mean she will come back to you since it sounds like she left you. It's never clearly elaborated you are still talking about her beauty, but I can read between the lines. She left you because you were over the top cheesy. Read the rest of the translation here if you want: http://lyricstranslate.com/en/bella-beautiful.html-0 And tell me that is not some of the corniest crap of lyrics. Oh and all of this is ironic because we found out a decade later that he is gay. Good for Ricky Martin being happy with his life choices. Doesn't make a corny bad song a corny bad song. 3. Lou Bega - "Mambo No. 5" Spoilerhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unlc89KvLt4 This almost made my Top 50 worst song list. Probably one of the most annoying songs to come out of the 90s. This song has gotten even more annoying over the time. May I point out? Spoilerhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXJ6A-uDUJI Spoiler I bet there are far more versions out there. The beat is annoying. The "a little bit of" is annoying. Lou Bega is annoying. Just everything about this song screams annoyance. I'm probably the only one on this site who thinks that and I'm probably going to get the most crap for having this song on here out of anything else. Whatever. I regret not having this on my Bottom 50 in retrospect. Speaking of my worst song ever list. 2. LFO - "Summer Girls" Spoiler Still some of the worst set of the lyrics I've ever heard. I've already critiqued this song before and if you want to read more about disdain of it, you know where to find it. So there we have it. What song could possibly be worse than one of the bottom songs of all-time? How about a song I regret not putting on my Bottom 50. And what song is that? How about the #1 song of 1999? 1. Cher - "Believe" Spoiler Where oh where do I begin? Critically, "Believe" received praise from reviewers, being acclaimed for its club-friendly sound and Cher's vocal performance, with some critics calling it a catchy song, and listed it as one of the singer's musical highlights; they also noted the way in which Cher was able to re-invent herself and remain fresh and contemporary amidst the more teen pop-based music of the period. Erm, really? Do these critics not hear the auto-tune abuse? The corny lyrics? This is a musical highlight of Cher's career? How dose this amidst itself from teen pop music of this period? THIS IS THE SAME TEEN POP MUSIC OF THIS PERIOD EXCEPT WORSE! FAR WORSE! I think this is easily the worst song Cher has ever done. Hell her new song "Woman's World" that is so lame that it can't even chart on Billboard is better than this. Cher re-invented herself alright. She invented herself into a 52 year old woman who can't sing anymore. Do I believe in life after love? I am starting to question myself after listening to this god awful song. I have seen this song chart on VH1 as one of the worst #1 songs of all time. I sure hope those critics are regretting all of this praise in the present day. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SG19 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I like #1 and #3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 1. Cher - "Believe" I don't remember this being on your bottom 50... maybe I just forgot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Dat Builder No. 5 mang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 How about a song I regret not putting on my Bottom 50. That'd be why you didn't see it, Lost Hope. "Mambo #5" is a notoriously stupid song, and while I do find myself toe-tapping to the chorus on occasion, I can't call myself a fan. But "Believe" as #1 over "Summer Girls"? Nah, it's not that bad. At its worst it's only mildly irritating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 19, 2013 Author Share Posted November 19, 2013 That'd be why you didn't see it, Lost Hope. "Mambo #5" is a notoriously stupid song, and while I do find myself toe-tapping to the chorus on occasion, I can't call myself a fan. But "Believe" as #1 over "Summer Girls"? Nah, it's not that bad. At its worst it's only mildly irritating. Yeah it's that bad. The song has only gotten worse over time since I have to hear it nearly every day at work. Trust me when I say bad songs get worse when you hear them nearly every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgerpants Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 3. Lou Bega - "Mambo No. 5" What You see now: And what appears on Lou Bega's computer: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Sex Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 What You see now: And what appears on Lou Bega's computer: Wut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 What You see now: And what appears on Lou Bega's computer:This...I don't get it. And speaking of I don't get it, I will give my delayed thoughts on one of my least favorite songs of 2013 later today after work. WAH PAH PAH PAH PAH PAH PAH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Ooh, this will be somewhat fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 This...I don't get it. And speaking of I don't get it, I will give my delayed thoughts on one of my least favorite songs of 2013 later today after work. WAH PAH PAH PAH PAH PAH PAH What about your Top 10 of 1999? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 What about your Top 10 of 1999?I'll post that tomorrow on my day off. I just need to get my thoughts out there about WAH PAH PAH PAH PAH PAH PAH immediately since I never got the chance to when it somehow peaked at #6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 We are going to take a short break from 1999 to head back to the present where I need to address a hit pop song that should have not been a hit. Ylvis - "The Fox" Spoiler One of my recent ask me thread questions from Dr. Sex was: "What's your least favorite song from this year?" Now as most of you may know, I had recent pop song "Come and Get It" from Selena Gomez on my Top 50 Worst Songs Ever. Well let me do a bit of backpedaling here. I'm sorry Selena. You can exit the list. You are replaced by that god awful Cher song I mentioned above. Now why am I removing it? Well to be quite honest, I think it's too recent to make it on my bottom 50. Maybe my thoughts will change over time on if it truly deserves to be there. It's too new of a song. That still doesn't change the fact that I really despise "Come and Get It". It's one of the worst hit songs I've heard this year. I guarantee it's going to be high up there when my Top 10 worst of 2013 comes out. But that's besides the point, on to what the review is about: NOVELTY SONGS! Wumbo wrote a blog entry so to speak about the recent changes to Billboard that you can find here in his old music thread: http://www.thesbcommunity.com/forums/index.php?/topic/4229-wumbos-somewhat-informed-opinions-on-music/page-13 He is right you know. Shitty music will come. Shitty music will go. It will always be that way. Of course we all know what song made Billboard finally cave in to allow YouTube streaming affect the Billboard charts. A NOVELTY SONG! Spoiler I agree that Gangnam Style deserved to be #1 on Billboard for at least one week. It shouldn't have peaked at #2. That song was everywhere last fall. Maroon 5's "One More Night" shouldn't have had the long reign atop the charts that it did. But that's besides the point. Gangnam Style as a song is NOTHING without the music video. While I am sick of Gangnam Style in general, did I enjoy it back when it was popular? Hell yeah I did. It was hilariously fun. Ever since Gangnam Style, we've had some follow ups in what I would consider the novelty song department. Some of them unfortunately worked in terms of being popular: Spoilerhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk1_DbbzSdY Others didn't: Spoiler Sorry Psy, but it looks like you are stuck to one hit wonderdom here stateside. Now it's exactly one year since Gangnam Style was taking the world by storm and isn't it ironic that we've had another novelty song on the charts? It's been lurking around since September and it's been spoofed to death on the internet and even had a SNL skit. But here is where I bring this question into play. What happens when a joke song is inaccurate? I get the point that this is suppose to be comedy, but when you have to rely on sound effects to try and get a laugh, then the joke just falls flat on it's face. So Ylvis, what does the fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! I highly doubt that's what the fox says, but thanks for the.... Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! I just thought you said it went ringeding...a bunch of jibberish. Now you're telling me it goes... Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho! Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho! Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho! Now I just think you are making shit up.... Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff! Tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff! Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL A FOX MAKES THAT MANY SOUNDS! And if you think that's not enough, Ylvis also says the fox goes: Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow! Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow! A-hee-ahee ha-hee! Wa-wa-way-do Wub-wid-bid-dum-way-do Wa-wa-way-do But as someone who has seen foxes before, let me tell you guys now that the only sound a fox makes is bark and howling. At least Ylvis got one of them right: A-oo-oo-oo-ooo! Woo-oo-oo-ooo! These mind numbing lyrics aside, I get the point of the joke. Ylvis mocks pop culture's recent trend towards dubstep/techno/EDM beats with easily one of the corniest productions I've heard in quite some time. I also get that Ylvis does have a point with "what does the fox say" in terms of foxes are often really quiet and we don't get to hear the sounds they make that often. However, I think Ylvis misses the point. To come up with all these jokes, you need to provide the humor. I know plenty of people find this funny, hence why it's become a hit. However, I am not one of them. As a matter of fact, I think this is painfully unfunny. I have never had my funny bone tickled with the equation "random stupid noises = funny". It's the lowest brow of humor next to fart jokes. The fact that this is being called the next "Gangnam Style" is a massive insult to "Gangnam Style". At least Psy put some effort into making his video very funny. Ylvis just dresses up like a fox and shouts gibberish. Can someone please explain to me why fate had this end up becoming a massive hit, while songs like: Kendrick Lamar's brilliant "Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe" J Cole's wonderful throwback "Crooked Smile" with TLC Ariana Grande's amazing "Right There" Bastille's superb "Pompeii" (which can now be heard in the Mr. Peabody & Sherman movie trailer) Justin Timberlake's great "TKO"....freaking Justin Timberlake man All five of these songs can't even crack the Top 10, let alone Top 20, while a freaking stupid joke song like Ylvis's The Fox can easily slide as high as it got? Man I know that it's just a stupid chart that ranks popular music, but Billboard can be incredibly unfair sometimes man. Do I even need to rate this? This song is awful. It gets a .5/5. Officially the lowest score I've given one of these songs. I have a pretty safe feeling that it's going to be on my year end worst list. Btw the animatronic fox in the music video is almost as scary as Gaga Swan...almost. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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