Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100

Clappy · March 26, 2014

Sorry for the delay of my Top 10 of 1989. I will get to it this weekend. But tonight, the early mornings of my 25th birthday, I want to review a very special song. A song that I previously did a quick take on. At first I thought this was interestingly bad..but you know what happens with bad songs after hearing them multiple times? They just get worse...and worse...

"Show Me" - Kid Ink (featuring Chris Brown)

You know, I have absolutely nothing against Chris Brown as an artist. He is actually a massive guilty pleasure when he isn't singing about how we shouldn't judge him and reliving his 2009 domestic abuse incident in his music. Sure he hasn't been coming out with "good" music for the past couple years, but I don't think he's the worst thing imaginable. I mean there are much more untalented R&B artists out there (hi Jason DeRulo and Future). All that being said though...Chris Brown...I'll gladly stick up for you to still have a singing career...but what the hell are you doing here?

Baby let me put your panties to the side

I'm a make you feel alright

'Cause I'm a give you what you need, yeah

Wow. Let's just get straight down the sex. No foreplay. No smooth pick up lines. Just I'm going to fuck you....listen I get pop music is typically lazily written...but this...this is just...tasteless. Plus these are the first set of lyrics for the song. There is absolutely no build up to this except:

Mustard on the beat ho

But that's just DJ Mustard, who as my dear friend JP Nuggets once said:

Honestly couldn't put it any better myself. But back to Mr. Brown's god awful chorus:

Mami you remind me of something

I don't know what it is

You remind me of something

You gotta show me

Alright, you remind me of something

I don't know what it is right now

You remind me of something

Girl you gotta show me

You have got to be kidding me. WRITING CHORUSES BASED OFF OF INCOMPLETE PICK UP LINES. YOU ARE COMPARING THIS CHICK TO NOTHING CHRIS BROWN. NOTHING!

You seriously couldn't think of anything to compare this woman to? Plus do you really think your mindlessness will lead to sex? I mean you can say you're a celebrity as a reason to have sex with you. I mean that's how most douchebag anthems work, but not this one. This one revolves around a pick-up line written on a crumbled up napkin that's trajectory was for the garbage can, but missed by a few inches. No I can't accept this. There has to be something else to this shitty chorus.

On the real, can't lie, man just my type

Hands in the air looking for bitch right now

On the real, can't lie, man just my type

YOU DON'T HAVE A TYPE YOU FUCKING TOOL.

This song is already awful enough, but maybe the rapper here will add something smooth to this? This is Kid Ink. He has:

Tattoos. Wow these rapper names are getting unimaginative. Also he has a lack of rapping skills.

Uh, on the real no lie

I don't know what it is but you just my type

Ok so he's just as absent minded as Chris Brown. Let's just see what else this guy has to offer.

Got a cup in your hand

Baby sitting but you ain't got no kids

Why would she have kids at a club/raging party or whatever this is?

We ain't leaving 'til there ain't no more left

Can't see no time on the Rolex

Why must rappers always talk about how many diamonds they have on their watch? This is almost as overused as fire analogies in pop music.

Looking for the after party, where to go at?

Go on the floor like a doormat

Baby you know where to throw that

You are going to throw her on a doormat? Is that what she reminds you of?

Uh, so tell me what your name is

I don't really care who you came with

Unless you got a couple friends look like you

My bad if my ex try to fight you

Wow, talk about blowing this chick off. You just don't care do you. You just want to give her the D even if his ex wants to fight her. What a fucking douchebag.

You remind me of something missing

Misses, you got my full attention

So we finally see what she reminds him of. The Future Mrs. Ink. So we are suppose to assume that this girl is going to sleep with this guy because he called her wife material? That's unbelievable.

Listen, let go of the tension

If I get a minute, I put your bad ass in detention

And you are just going to straight to the...oh forget it. Defying the impossible, Kid Ink is even worse than Chris Brown in this. He provides nothing new to the table that we haven't heard before and I'm not going to even bother going into the terrible rhyming schemes. But what I find even more impossible is that he calls this girl wife material when just two minutes beforehand, he was talking about throwing her panties to the side without even figuring out what her name is.

NO ONE...AND I MEAN NO ONE CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS SHIT IN REAL LIFE.

Why the hell does this song exist? Everything about this song is just fucking awful, even by hands in the air party rap-pop music standards. Like I can't even defend the only part of the song I found catchy in the first place because it just makes no damn sense in the big scheme of things. This is just amazingly atrocious, yet somehow is grossing millions on Top 10 Billboards. This is irredeemably stupidly popular and I just don't get it. I get that there is a market for this kind of music, but at least put some fucking effort into this horseshit. Have fun fading into irrelevancy Kid Ink. Chris Brown, hopefully you can come up with something better to redeem yourself from this:

...it's better?

**Wumbo** · March 26, 2014

This song reminds me of something, but I don't know what it is. Oh yeah, bad music.

Clappy · April 20, 2014

So I owe that Top 10. Eh screw it. I'm going to give a condensed list of my Top 10 and I don't know if I'm ever going to make a Top 10 for these countdowns and just stick to the Bottom 10 because looking at the crap is much better than adding on praise to songs that are already praised enough because let's face it...my Top 10 is just going to be songs that every one tends to agree that they are good (or at least in my biased mind set). No honorable mentions. No nothing. Because I have more things to say about Billboard today.

MY HALF-ASSED DESCRIPTIONS OF MY TOP 10 SONGS OF 1989

10. "I Don't Want Your Love" - Duran Duran

Duran Duran has done a lot better than this, but I still enjoy this a lot. Especially that synth. Man, I'm such a sucker for synth music it's not even funny.

9. "If I Could Turn Back Time" - Cher

Probably one of the best songs Cher has ever done. I've made my opinions clear in the past about Cher and I stand by them, but just like in the lyrics here, I take back the words I say whenever I hear a song this good. Cher has the talent and when she is on, she is incredibly on like she is here.

8. "Funky Cold Medina" - Tone-Loc

Hey Flo Rida. This is how you sample every song imaginable at once. I mean this is seven songs sampled and you know what I think of when I hear this? Funky Cold Medina. That's how good the sampling is. Plus I have a soft spot in my heart for rap rock and Tone-Loc is one of the grand masters of the genre.

7. "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" - New Kids on the Block

Hey boy bands. This is how you make good boy band music. Just everything about it is how I like my boy band pop. It's so catchy that even Family Guy can parody it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mKM3nVnfCg

6. "Toy Soldiers" - Martika

This song about cocaine addiction is fantasticly written and Martika sings it beautifully. My only problem is that no matter how many times I hear it, it kinda bugs me to hear the children in the background doing the back-up vocals. Kinda ruins it a bit. Fun fact, but two of those kids turned out to be Jennifer Love Hewitt and Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson.

5. "Listen to Your Heart" - Roxette

I just have nothing to say. It's one of those songs that gives me those feels and it has such a great message about listening to your heart before someone you love leaves you. It's just such a good song and I feel the longing this Roxette passionately sells in this song.

4. "Bust a Move" - Young MC

Huge guilty pleasure song. I mean this Young MC has such awesome flow and man, this song just knows how to get your adrenaline going.

3. "Like a Prayer" - Madonna

One of the best songs from one of the longest tenured careers. Madonna is usually far more hit than miss for me and I think this is one of the best things Madonna has ever done.

2. "I'll Be There For You" - Bon Jovi

Fantastic. Just simply fantastic. This is how I love my 80's hair ballads.

1. "Smooth Criminal" - Michael Jackson

I stand by Billie Jean being my favorite Michael Jackson song ever...but when it comes to best Michael Jackson video ever, this is it. This tops Thriller for me. Everything about this is just fantastic and I can't think of a better choice for my number one than this. This song not only deserves it for the video, but this is just a fantastic song in general. All my praise. All of it.

Now that I've done praising some of the best songs of 1989, I'm going to do a full length review of All of Me by John Legend next time I update this. Because god knows I'm absolutely sick of it.

**Wumbo** · April 20, 2014

But... but.. all of him loves all of you! D:

Clappy · April 26, 2014

In the most dull monotonous fashion. And it sure doesn't sound like all of him loves all of her with all of the nitpicking he does.

**Wumbo** · April 26, 2014

I think that's part of the song's appeal, though. But I'll let you do your review before I say any more.

Clappy · April 27, 2014

“All of Me” – John Legend

Let me just put this out in the open first. Billboard has gotten incredibly stale in terms of the top of the charts. I feel like we’ve seen the same damn songs for the past three months near the top of the charts with hopefully some change coming in some form sooner rather than later. Do you want to know how stale this list has become? The past two months we’ve had the same four songs in the top four. It honestly would not surprise me if the current top four on Billboard all end up being a part of the year end Top 10 list.

Happy – I’ve already made my thoughts clear on how addicting and wonderful this song is. Still not sick of this yet despite how overplayed it has become. Don’t think that will ever change.

Dark Horse – I still stand by opinion that Katy Perry’s radio singles from Prism have been incredibly disappointing so far (haven’t heard Birthday yet, but I’ve heard how awful the music video is). I’m still not a fan of this song. At all. However, I absolutely understand why this song became popular.

Talk Dirty – Words cannot describe how baffled I am that this song is still in the top four, let alone became number one on the radio singles portion of the many areas taken into consideration on Billboard’s charts. I mean I guess I can understand this being the fluke hit everyone looks back at and wonders why this was popular.

Then we have All of Me. A song that I’ve previously stated:

This is why I should probably never do another round of quick takes. This is not a fair analysis of what I truly think of John Legend’s biggest hit to date. Because while I do understand how the three hits I’ve mentioned above became what they were, this one, I don’t get how this became as big of a hit as it is. Has no one ever heard any of John Legend’s other piano ballads?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh07c_P4hc

Not going to spoiler tag this video. All of you that read this thread. Listen to this song. Hate to steal Todd’s thoughts on this, but if you are going to strip a song down to the bare minimums (aka piano accompaniment) then those bare minimums have to be damn brilliant. This is why Ordinary People is a fantastic representation of how complex love is.

I’ll go out right now on the limb here and admit that I wouldn’t consider myself a true fan of John Legend by any means. I can’t really say that I listen to his stuff on a regular basis. I respect how talented he is as a piano player, but I only have three of his songs on my iPod. Ordinary People, his collaboration with Kanye West “Number One”, and his collaboration with The Roots, Common, and Melonie Fiona “Wake Up Everybody”. He also has that song with Andre 3000 “Green Light” which I listen to once in a blue moon, but I primarily listen to that thinking that OutKast needs to reunite sooner or later. It doesn’t make me think of John Legend at all because John Legend as a stand alone artist is just not that interesting. Now his wife on the other hand:

What a beautiful woman she is. Have to give John Legend all the credit in the world for landing a truly stunning woman like Chrissy Teigen….but if All of Me is suppose to be a song dedicated to how much he loves Chrissy Teigen, this has to be one of the most uninteresting, half-assed, completely meaningless love ballads I have heard in quite some time. This is a perfect example of how manufactured these piano ballads have become over the past few years. Ever since Adele took 2011 and parts of 2012 by storm with her truly remarkable piano ballads, so many artists have tried to step up to the plate with easy listening piano accompaniment songs and have missed:

and

oh and how dare I forget one of the most laughably bad piano ballads I’ve ever heard

Now I understand that John Legend has been doing piano ballads far longer than all these artists I’ve listed, but I can’t help but feel that this is John Legend cashing in on a recently growing trend with probably his least interesting song ever. John Legend is at least capable of coming up with far better songs than this. Were they not interesting to me? More often than not, yes. But were they better than All of Me? Absolutely.

What would I do without your smart mouth?

Drawing me in, and you kicking me out

Smart mouth is not exactly a flattering term of endearment John.

You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down

What's going on in that beautiful mind

I'm on your magical mystery ride

And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

Are you sure that you’re in love? To me it sounds like he is confused about his love for her.

Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

I can’t be the only one who has never been fond of the perfect imperfections line. He relies on her perfect imperfections way too much to get him through this song:

You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning

Even when you're crying you're beautiful too

You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

Hate to reference Todd in the Shadows again….but even Wumbo can tell you all that I have pointed out many times before he released that review how this reminds me a lot of this:

I mean you could have just renamed this song:

ALL OF ME LOVES SOME OF YOU

His metaphors are all over the place like a bunch of cheesy romantic one liners written into one song.

Listen I don’t think this is the worst song ever. This isn’t even the worst song on the Top 10 right now. Far from it. But I can’t emphasize enough how this has to be the least interesting thing John Legend has ever done when he has written and performed much better songs than this. Why does this have to be John Legend’s most successful song he’s ever released? I mean if this ends up with John Legend having a more successful career, than I can give this song some credit for doing that. But I can’t help but feel that this song probably defines my thoughts on John Legend as a whole:

Talented piano player, great singer, boring artist.

I'm just absolutely sick of this song. While overplay has made me not get sick of Happy yet, overplay has definitely gotten me tired of John Legend's boring ballad. Change to Billboard's song charts can't come soon enough for me. Bring on the songs competing to be "Song of Summer 2014" already because

All of me likes none of this.

And don't even get me started on the All of Me (Club Remix) that my local station uses to try and make it more interesting:

Gross.

CyanideFishbone · April 27, 2014

"I Don't Want Your Love"? Oh yeah, i love Duran Duran. Still, Wild Boys and New Moon On Monday are the best DD songs and Rio is best album.

SG19 · April 27, 2014

Wrong thread, dude.

EDIT: Never mind, that song was on Clappy's Top 10 Best Songs of 1989.

CyanideFishbone · April 27, 2014

This winter, i went down a hill on a sled screaming "JAYYSOOON DERULOOOO!" for fun. T'was hilarious.

Why does he scream his name so much? What is Jason, a Pokemon?

**Wumbo** · April 27, 2014

I think that "All of Me" doesn't necessarily have to be about him and his wife (Google Imaging later, btw), and it's not necessarily a happy song. I think it is a very confused song, and that's what appeals to me about it, because the narrator is confused. The chorus sounds less like a summary of the relationship and more like a re-affirmation to the narrator that yes, he still does love this person. I think Legend knows what he's doing, and I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote this song very sarcastically.

Clappy · April 27, 2014

It's not really that confusing like you've pointed out. The summarized version of this song is "I love you". The verses make it sound more complex but it comes off as John Legend (or the narrator) saying he loves her. However, those verses. What exactly does he love about her? I mean he can make it as complex of a relationship as he wants, but despite all his points, he doesn't really describe what he loves about her. He just goes the easiest most formulaic route imaginable.

Of course he knows what he is doing. John Legend has done this song many times in the past. I think is probably the worst love song he has ever written and it somehow has become his most popular just by being an easy listening middle of the road generic love song. I mean I'm not asking for him to be complex, but if you are going to perform a piano ballad, at least make a compelling song.

**Wumbo** · April 28, 2014

But I think it's wrong to summarize this song as "I love you". I think it's more so "I love you, but why do I love you?" Right from the beginning, he points out her "smart mouth", which I wouldn't call going the formulaic route. In fact, the formulaic route would be describing what he loves about her.

Also, I'm guessing the popularity of this song comes from John Legend's performance at the Beatles tribute. It's the only reason why people are interested in John Legend at all now.

Clappy · May 3, 2014

How is it wrong for me to summarize my interpretation of a song so vague and bland as All of Me. Eh I guess we are allowed to have contrasting view points even though we are clearly not seeing eye to eye.

Tomorrow: TURN DOWN FOR WHAT

**Wumbo** · May 4, 2014

Okay, bad choice of words there. Everybody's free to their opinion, yada yada yada.

Interested to see your thoughts on Turn Down for What. I did that song for a previous blog post, and I was actually stunned by how much I had to say about it.

Clappy · May 12, 2014

You know, I was going to review Turn Down For What, but I can only understand barely half the words in the song. It's just absolute silly nonsense. I want to review something that just flat out bothers me. I mean I've tackled bad hit pop music, bad rap songs, bad "rock" songs, I mean what other genres have I not covered yet?

Oh...hello country music... I've admitted in the past that I use to be a huge country music fan. Well that's what happens when you grow up in a redneck town. Country music is pretty much inescapable around the tri-cities of Richmond. We have like four different stations and we've had a lot of country music stars visit from Kenny Chesney to Toby Keith to more modern stars like Eric Church and Carrie Underwood. Hell, Taylor Swift performed a private show at a local college a few years back before she hit it real big. So as you can tell, country music is a rather big deal around these parts. But I've got to point out something that some of these so called "rednecks" fail to realize. Country music is straying far from being "country". The music is becoming rowdier, "bro-ier", more youthful...hell it's becoming more and more like rap music. Now don't get me wrong. Just because country music is starting to stretch it's roots out more doesn't make me go grab my pitchforks. I can stand up for some of these songs as guilty pleasures. For example, I find probably one of the biggest country songs of the past decade "Cruise" to be a fun driving song that makes me want to go have a good time. But for every Cruise, there are That's My Kind of Night's, which in retrospect, I should have included that song on my Worst List last year. I kinda like Luke Bryan, but that song is just simply unbearable. His references are so outdated (T-Pain is irrelevant these days Luke) and the lyrics are just so fucking stupid. Which brings me to today's choice for my latest music review. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a real stinker here. Now normally I go against the grain when it comes to what I review on this thread. I always try to stay in the Top 10 or songs that are on the outside looking in when it comes to Billboard. This song however has been out since October peaked as high as #32 a week or so ago. It's falling now, but just like those boys from Florida and Georgia did last year, this artist decided to release a pop radio remix of his country hit. Will this work and give the song more crossover appeal? I hope not. Please dear god I want to be right about this since I have a nick lately of predicting what becomes a huge hit and what doesn't (see: Royals and Happy). So without further ado, I give you. "Drink to That All Night" - Jerrod Niemann

and also: "Drink to That All Night (Remix)" - Jerrod Niemann (featuring Pitbull) http://www.1075theriver.com/media/play/mixdown-24725000/ No. I just can't. This song. It's amazingly stupid and amazingly unlistenable. I mean just everything about this song reminds me why country party music is one of the worst subgenres out there. I mean where do I even begin with this absolute waste? And no I'm not talking about Pitbull, I'll get to the remix shortly. Well how about the fact that the production of this is atrocious. If it wasn't for the country twangs, I would have mistaken this as a rap video. Pimped out rides? Check. Random black guy? Check. DJ spinning a track? Check. Hoes...I mean country girl...I mean hoes? Check. Rapper rapping about....ok time out. He's a self proclaimed "cowboy" like in one of his previous hits Lover Lover? What the fuck is he doing here rapping? I mean dear god...that's where I automatically know that I can't take this song seriously. And that's not because he's a cowboy, but he's just awful at it. Pullin' up now, and the parking lot's full Gonna ride that cow with a Dallas bull ...I honestly can't tell if this is about him wanting to get laid because that metaphor is just so atrocious I can't comprehend it. Everybody in the ATL is coming Dude. The ATL is not really that big of a country name drop area. Now hopefully Nuggets responds with Atlanta is a legitimate name drop for country artists but from my music knowledge, when I think of Atlanta, I think of the Dirty South...you know, rap music. DJs got those speakers thumping Rhyming coming with thumping....uuugghh...next. Got a black ford not a white Mercedes Walking in the front door checking out the ladies My buddy says hey boys I'm buying The hottest girl in here's giving me the eye and. Ok, first off, I thought you had a cow or a bull or whatever and had a hard time getting in. Nitpicking aside, rhyming buying with eye and? God, the rhyme scheme in this just simply pisses me off a lot more than it should. Everybody knows, it's gonna be one of those I can drink to that all night That's the stuff I like First of all...what stuff? What happened to the girl giving him the eye? I mean at least in most country songs, we get a hint as to what kind of stuff they are drinking. I mean we get a hint if it's beer, shots of vodka, liquor, whiskey, etc. For a drinking song, with the title DRINK TO THAT ALL NIGHT, we just get...stuff. That's the kind of party makes you throw your hands up high Bout to tie one on talking gone gone gone Turning all the wrongs into right I can drink to that all night You know, I could just sit here and emphatically nitpick these lyrics to end, but I just...can't. I mean I'm already half-assing this review because it's unreviewable. This is an unmotivating song. This is more tiring than anything else. Not the kind of things you want to hear about a fun "upbeat" drinking song. I mean the production here is not just awful, it's depressing. This makes the song probably one of the most upsetting party songs I've ever heard. It kinda reminds of me of a countrified version of We Can't Stop. And while I hated We Can't Stop, at least the song was interesting. This is just incredibly stupid and dull. It's just a massive car accident of a song. Which is probably why they decided to remix this so they can make it a crossover hit. And of course, what better way to fuck up a song even more by adding Pitbull, even more autotune, random girls singing along in the background. I can't find Pitbull's lyrics but I'm pretty sure: -Mixing moonshine with other forms of alcohol sounds and is absolutely disgusting. -I'm pretty sure you and Mr. Niemann here wouldn't fuck other guy's girls. Both of you are too harmless to do such a thing. -"If you don't remember, it didn't happen"....#rapey -Did you even watch The Wolf of Wall Street because that movie was more than just Leonardo DiCaprio making money.. -I'm sorry but hitting women? You're Pitbull, not Chris Brown. I doubt you could harm a fly. I mean I just can't handle this remix. It makes this song even worse and if this remix somehow becomes a huge hit, it's going to make my hatred for this piece of crap even more unbearable. So yeah, this song is easily one of the worst songs of 2014 and I can already guarantee that this is in contention for a spot on this list. As for the remix? I'm not afraid to admit that the remix is easily the worst song I've ever covered in this thread. Yes, worse than The Fox, which I was way too hard on for being just an awful joke song. Yes, worse than Talk Dirty. Yes, worse than Show Me. This song just simply pisses me off so much. You suck Jerrod Niemann. You suck even more Pitbull. I'm done sticking up for you being a huge guilty pleasure. You are just as awful as everyone makes you out to be.

**Wumbo** · May 12, 2014

Tip for all guys wishing to pick up girls: Say "I wanna ride that cow" within earshot of her and see how well it goes over.

Doctor Sex · May 12, 2014

This is worse tbh

Clappy · June 1, 2014

...HE'S BACK. ARE YOU HAPPY AMERICA!?

"Wiggle" - Jason DeRulo (featuring Snoop Dogg)

Of course I'm talking about the return of Snoop Dogg. I don't know what the hell that Snoop Lion phase was definitely nothing having to do with weed, but man, I'm sure glad Snoop Dogg went back to being the D-O-Double G.

Snoop Dogg is a huge guilty pleasure in his latter years. He just doesn't try anymore because we all know he's still a boss. It comes off like that in his music in everything from cheesy pop music like California Gurls to comedy rap like The Lonely Island. I love the guy.

Shake what your mama gave you

Misbehave you
I just wanna strip you, dip you, flip you, bubble bathe you

What they do
Taste my rain drops, OK boo
Now what you will and what you want and what you may do

AWESOME!

Completely separated,
Till I deeply penetrate it
Then I take I out, and wipe it off
Eat it, ate it, love it, hate it

IT'S SNOOP! OF COURSE SEX IS HAPPENING!

Overstated, underrated, everywhere I been can
You wiggle, wiggle for the D, O, double G, again?

Seriously, if you guys can find things to criticize about any of Snoop's part, I'm simply sounding it out. Snoop Dogg is the coolest chillest guy alive. He may not be a role model, but he doesn't have to be because Snoop is just simply that boss.

Oh this isn't a Snoop Dogg song? This...is a Jason DeRulo song? You mean....the American public still wants this untalented turd to still have success on the Billboard charts?.....HE HAS TWO SONGS IN THE TOP 10 RIGHT NOW!?!?!?

I give up. You win Billboard.

Do you guys want my serious thoughts on this? Snoop Dogg's part is great because he's Snoop Dogg. I believe he can get a bunch of ass whenever he wants. Everything else? Atrociously bad. I mean this reminds me of this:

PLUS THIS

AND ESPECIALLY THIS

AT LEAST IT'S NOT THIS THOUGH

You know what's the worst part about this though? It's incredibly boring. I mean for a song about woman's butts, can it at least have some life into it outside of Snoop's guest spot? I mean what exactly does Jason have to say about asses that no one else has said before?

How do you fit all that in them jeans?

An age old question that is getting incredibly outdated.

You know what to do with that big fat butt

I'm sure she does, she's done it many ass anthems before this.

pop that trunk

I took out Cadillac because you can substitute this with any car model and it's been done better.

Now make it clap

And he doesn't mean hands ladies....man my username is 2dirty4SBC

Your booty like two planets

Wow she must have a really fat ass in that case dumbass.

Go head, and go ham sammich

I....WHAT!? You have to be kidding me...ham sammich? That line alone just solidified this song as a contender for My Top 10 worst list...not like all of my other complaints and my hatred for Jason DeRulo didn't already make it obivous. Why am I even spending time analyzing this? This song is just fucking awful. I don't care how much pleasure I have for Snoop's guest spot, Jason DeRulo sucks the life out of this song with his bland personality and his general lack of talent. I can't stand it. I don't think I have it in me to review another Jason DeRulo song this year.

Damn baby you got a bright future behind you

At least this piece of shit ends on a smart note. Thanks Snoop.

Burgerpants · June 1, 2014

I CALLED IT

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