Clappy's Top 50 Worst Songs of All Time List

[Elastic Dawg]

REALLY MISSS YOURR HAIIR IN MYYY FAAACCEEE

FAKDSF;LASJ INNOCENCE FAACEE

THINKKKK YOU SHOULLDD KNOWWW

YOUREEE SO MUCH BETTER THAN MEHHHHHH

 

I stand by my opinion that Hinder is far, far, worse than Nickelback.

[E.V.I.L.]

REALLY MISSS YOURR HAIIR IN MYYY FAAACCEEE

FAKDSF;LASJ INNOCENCE FAACEE

THINKKKK YOU SHOULLDD KNOWWW

YOUREEE SO MUCH BETTER THAN MEHHHHHH

 

I stand by my opinion that Hinder is far, far, worse than Nickelback.

why would anyone miss hair in their face

 

that guy clearly has never had hair enter his eye

[Clappy]

20. "My Band" - D12

 

 

Yeah when Eminem fell, he fell incredibly hard.  It's actually kinda sad because just two years ago he had one of my favorite rap songs ever with "Just Lose Yourself".  Then he just stopped caring after he made 8 Mile.  But yeah, I specifically asked Wumbo to review this song not too long ago when I was trying to think of some painful rap music from my high school years to show that modern rap music isn't as bad as he thinks it is.  Rap music has always had bad songs and look no further than listening to Marshall rap with his "band" aka a bunch of rappers from his record label.  Hey Wumbo, what did you say again?  Because you summed up this song so damn good that I can't possibly top it if I tried.

 

My Band - D-12 ft. Cameo

Oh. God. Eminem.

Never sing again.

Never.

I mean, like, ever.

Like, Taylor Swift never ever ever getting back together with singing.

I prefer William Hung to this. I really do.

The rest of the song is like hearing a boring conversation between band members with tension a-brewing, without actual interesting tension. "Eminem's mic is the only one that ever works, man." "We should tell him." in the most boring voices possible.

I don't care if this is parody, or insanity, or whatever. It's an awful, awful song. It should be burned. Also, thanks for putting me off salsa permanently.

0/10
 

I hope you are glad to know that this made it up this high on here.  Oh and I hope you have fully recovered from your salsa incident.

 

 

 

 

19. "Not Myself Tonight" - Christina Aguilera

 

 

Ladies and gentleman.  One of the most depressing causalities of the musical year 2010.  The death of Christina Aguilera's singing career.

 

I really have never seen someone commit career suicide this badly.  I understand that in the four years since Christina's previous album artists like Rihanna, Britney Spears, and especially Lady Gaga have "out dirtied" the former Dirty girl.  So it's obvious that she wanted to take back her throne, but oh my god.  Are you guys even watching this?  It's like Christina is trying way too hard to be Gaga shock provoking.  Like out of those three artists that have out dirtied Christina, this song is definitely the most like she is trying to be a carbon copy of Lady Gaga herself.  Hey Christina.  At least Gaga's videos, as weird as they are, tell a story.  This is just you trying to be the biggest whore on the planet with really painful sounds and lyrics in the background.  I mean who produced this because they should be taken into an alley way and be forced to listen to this ear bleeding sound over and over again.

 

I'm out of character
I'm in rare form
If you really knew me
You'd know it's not the norm

 

Yeah you are out of character.  Because you are trying too hard to be Lady Gaga.

 

Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do
The old me's gone I feel brand new
And if you don't like it fuck you

 

Fuck me right?  I'm just someone that has the option to pay to download your music.

 

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl (same girl)

 

Of course not, because you are trying to be this girl.

 

 

 

 

Since this song was a massive flop and that whole Bionic album was too, Christina has tried to resurrect her career.  At least she has found some sort of niche on The Voice.  Oh and she tried to make another new album as well.  What was the first song from that album again?

 

 

Oh yeah, another horrible song.  Yeah Christina, I think you should just stick to guest tracking on mediocre pop songs and being the worst of all the judges on The Voice.  If you somehow resurrect your own singing career again, it will be a miracle.

[SG19]

I think My Band is supposed to be a parody of feuds or quarrels that can spark between band members. Plus, I find the song absolutely hilarious.

[Wumbo]

ALL

I

WANNA

DO

IS FUCK YOUR BODY

 

Also, thanks for bringing me D12 flashbacks, Claps. 

[Sweat]

I honestly like the song Git Up from D12. Sorry.

 

 

 It's actually kinda sad because just two years ago he had one of my favorite rap songs ever with "Lose Yourself". 

Fixed.

[Wumbo]

A mashup of "Just Lose It" and "Lose Yourself" would probably be the worst thing ever.

[Elastic Dawg]

...is it sad i've heard that D12 song quite a few times and never realized it was Eminem and/or D12?

[Clappy]

Yeah thanks for pointing out the typo for "Lose Yourself".  I was so tired while writing that out last night.

 

But yeah, time for someone who was long overdue for criticism on this list:

 

18. "On Fire" - Lil Wayne

 

 

 

Oh Lil Wayne.  You had to branch out of rap music, didn't you?  Guys, if I could, I would have put the whole Rebirth album on here.  That was one colossal misstep for Mr. Weezy.  However, I can't because the song actually has two underrated songs on there: his collaboration with Eminenm "Drop the World" and his duet with Nicki Minaj "Knockout".  Both of those songs are actually pretty good.  But the rest of this album is just some of the worst work Lil Wayne has ever done.  But yeah, if I had to pick just one song from this album to represent how awful it is, I always point out this song.

 

Where do I start?  How about the incredibly lazy sampling of Amy Holland's "She's on Fire".  The autotuned vocals.  I swear it's hard to make out so many of these lyrics from this song because of the messy autotune.  How about how dull and boring this is?  Yeah I don't think Lil Wayne was completely sobered up when he made this.  Oh and how about Lil Wayne's guitar playing.  I'll admit this.  I'm surprised that he even knows how to play a guitar, yet alone play it well.  Yet here, we just get random guitar solos that lead to absolutely nothing because we then head back to him lazily talking about how this girl.  This random no named girl.  This girl that we learn absolutely nothing about...is on fire.  We can't feel for her because Wayne doesn't give a shit enough to explain why she is on fire.

 

Ugh I really wish I can share some more songs from this album because almost all of it is just so so bad.  But this song is miles worse than a lot of the others.  Just stick to rapping about your dick, money, and hoes Lil Wayne.  You don't rock.

 

 

 

 

17. "Invisible" - Clay Aiken

 

 

 

Oh god.  This song man.  Just so massively creepy.

 

I really can't stand this song.  I was so glad when I saw Wumbo posted this on his worst songs list....but I just think he was far too generous.  He could have placed this over some of the forgettable rap music he shared.  It's seriously a stalker's anthem.  Who would have thought that young innocent Clay Aiken could have been this big a creeper.

 

Whatcha’ doin’ tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall

 

How thoughtfully creepy.  Trust me, it gets worse.

 

Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

 

Uh oh, I don't like where this is going.

 

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight

 

GGGGAAAHHHHH!!!!  QUIT CREEPING ON ME AIKEN!!!

 

I have a hard time believing this song was meant to be this creepy and this stalkerish.  It just ruins this squeeky clean image that Clay Aiken had coming off of American Idol.  Oh but wait, he states at the end of the chorus with that he is already invisible.  So you hear that ladies...or men.  You better protect yourself because Clay Aiken just went from stalker to Robin Thicke blurred lines rape-ish.

 

You know.  This song wouldn't be as high up here if I DIDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG AT WORK EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I think that's what killed this song for me more than anything else.  It was just a bad pop song that became absolutely unbearable.  Especially over the past three years.  So yeah, I'm gonna go lock my doors and windows and make sure I protect myself from Clay Aiken tonight.

[Sweat]

I thought #18 was Not Myself Tonight. 

[Clappy]

Now I've got a four song special because this is what happens when you let little whiny brats record music.

 

 

16. "Stupid Hoe" - Nicki Minaj

 

 

I'm actually surprised this is so low, but I am slightly able to tolerate this song more than I was able to last year.  Oh trust me, this song is still a massive pain in the ass.  Also I found out this song is directed at Lil' Kim because she made some negative comments about Miss Minaj.  Hey Nicki?  You know what the difference is between you and Lil Kim?  I actually think Lil Kim is somewhat talented compared to you who walks around with a sense of accomplishment.  Bitch, you have no room to brag about your career.  At least Lil Kim was able to top Billboard Hot 100, something you still have yet to do despite how many singles you release from every one of your CDs.  Yeah, fuck you and your EP is right.  Btw, this song still has 600,000+ down votes compared to less than half of the up votes.  I think the general consensus is just sick of you.  That's why American Idol viewership skyrocketed last year.  I'm not blaming it all on you, but you just have absolutely no room to gloat about your accomplishments.  I can't stand you Female Weezy.    

 

 

15. "Swagger Jagger" - Cher Lloyd

 

 

OH MY GOD!  SHUT UP!

 

 Is what I think every time I hear a Cher Lloyd song on the radio.  This little Brit Brat is appallingly bad.  Can we just ship her and her lousy music back to where it came from?  And no I'm not talking about the UK, even though that's literally where she is from, I was referring to The X Factor.  Simon Cowell....HOW COULD YOU LET SOMEONE LIKE THIS HAVE A SUCCESSFUL CAREER?  I'm glad she finished fourth, but behind all this autotune and this horrendously bad synth tracks and beats is a nasally whiny bitch who is bragging about how much swagger jagger she has over everyone else.  Yet again, like I stated pages ago, JUST BECAUSE JAGGER RHYMES WITH SWAGGER DOESN'T MEAN IT SHOULD BE USED IN EVERY SONG.  Ugh, she should go get some talent instead of some....swagger jagger?  Why?

 

 

 

14. "Blah Blah Blah" - Ke$ha featuring 3OH!3

 

 

Ugh speaking of lazy synth beats.

 

I absolutely loathe this song.  It's giving me the middle finger through my computer screen as I type this out.  Wow, this must be what it's like for haters of pop music.  This must be what they hear whenever they switch their stations to Q94...or whatever your local pop station may be where you live.  For that, I'm sorry guys.  I'm sorry that you have to listen to horrendous club shit like this.  Not all pop music is this bad.  I promise.  I have a soft spot in my heart for pop music.  I mean these songs are Top 40 quality for a reason, right?  RIGHT!?  SERIOUSLY!  HOW DID THIS HORRENDOUS GOD AWFUL PIECE OF SHIT OF A SONG CHART SO HIGH!  WHY!?  IT'S LITERALLY BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!

 

Number 14?  Really?  Wow that must say a lot for all the other songs that finished ahead of this.  I mean this song is awful and I thought for sure that I couldn't think of any song I hate more than this.  But then I thought of thirteen far worse songs.

 

 

 

13.  "Gucci Gucci" - Kreayshawn

 

 

....like this one for example.

 

Since when did it become ok to give hipsters out of Hot Topic recording contracts?  That's what it's literally come to folks.  I honestly can't think of a single reason why anyone thought this song should be played on our air wave stations.  The only redeeming quality was that when this bitch played at one of the local bars here in Richmond, she got laughed at and booed off stage because she sounds horrendous live.  I think that helped keep this song away from being any higher on my charts.  Then I laughed even harder the next day when I listened to another pop station by us talk about how successful her performance was.  That had my sides splitting even harder.  I think this song is horrendously laughably awful.  That's what Kreayshawn is to me.  She will soon be forgotten, but this song will always damage my eardrums and I'll never forget it.

I thought #18 was Not Myself Tonight. 

You are losing count Halibut, it says #19.

[Cha]

I couldn't watch more than 30 seconds on any of those videos.

[Clappy]

12. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - Wham!

 

 

....George Michael...really?  Come on?  This song makes me cry.  You had to do this to get recognition.  Because your career skyrocketed after Wham.  This song got redone multiple times in the entertainment industry beyond 1984.  Why?  Because to mock how incredibly bad of a pop song this was.  I hate to do this twice in one countdown, but you know you are bad when Family Guy mocks you for it.

 

 

Couldn't find the actual scene of it, but I know what you guys are thinking.  This is worse than Nicki Minaj?  It is to me.  Once again this is another song that I hear every day at work and it gets incredibly unbearable after so many listens.  When I hate a song on the Martin's playlist, I have to listen to it every day and god it just becomes so mind numbing bad.  It just sucks that I know what George Michael went on to become and he had to get noticed somehow.  But this?  UUUUGGGGHHHH.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now before I get on to my next song, I want to say a little something about the artist first.

 

 

Oh Chris.  Young and naive Christopher Brown.  I know you have your fair share of haters out there.  To be quite honest, I absolutely despise you as a human being.  Just like so many other people.  You got a slap to the hand as your punishment for beating the hell out of a poor innocent girl.  Yet every time someone brings up your past history of this famous incident, you throw temper tantrums and throw hissy fits on Twitter.  You have gotten into public feuds with comedians, country artists like Miranda Lambert, and oh...my personal favorite, professional wrestler CM Punk.  Now that was hilarious because CM Punk called you out and wanted to curb stomp your face.  Yet what did you say?  Something about how he does steroids so it makes him hard to pleasure a woman.  Then you mocked him some more for no reason whatsoever.  Oh and CM Punk's response to all this was very awesome.

 

 

Now I can go on and on about how despicable Chris Brown is as a person, but I'm going to step aside and say this.  None of this is about his music.  As a music artist, I think he is somewhat ok.  Better than some of the other R&B artists that can crossover into pop (hello Jason DeRulo)  I think the kid is one hell of a dancer especially.  His song "Forever" is actually one of my favorite pop songs of the past ten years.  I mean as long as Chris Brown tends to leave his personal life out of his music, I don't have a problem with....

 

 

 

11. "Don't Judge Me" - Chris Brown

 

 

 

OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

 

REALLY!?  CHRIS BROWN DOESN'T WANT US TO JUDGE HIM.  POOR CHRIS BROWN.  LET ME PLAY YOU A SAD SONG ON THE WORLD'S SMALLEST VIOLIN.

 

 

Seriously, that's my reaction to this song every time I hear it.

 

Go fuck yourself Chris Brown.  Are girl's causing you problems Chris?  I'm crying.  I'm crying you a river Chris.  My heart's just bleeding for you.  Let's all shed a big giant tear for how bad people are to Chris Brown.  I'm not sorry about any of this.  Chris Brown shouldn't be allowed to write and sing a song like this.  He's the world's most famous domestic abuser and he should not be allowed to have a song about not wanting people to judge him.  Hey Chris if you don't want people to judge you, let me give you a hint.

 

-STOP USING TWITTER TO START DRAMA

-QUIT GETTING INTO FIGHTS WITH OTHER RAPPERS AND THEIR POSSES

-QUIT GETTING TATTOOS OF WHAT LOOK LIKE RIHANNA'S BEATEN FACE

-STOP DAMAGING PUBLIC PROPERTY EVERY TIME YOU THROW A TEMPER TANTRUMS

-QUIT DYING YOUR HAIR AND WALKING AROUND SHIRTLESS.  THAT JUST SCREAMS DOUCHEBAG, WHICH MAKES YOU THE KING OF ALL DOUCHEBAGS BY DEFAULT.

-JUST STOP COMING OFF AS A DOUCHEBAG OVER EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST MASSIVE TABLOID MATERIAL.

 

Can someone please just tell Chris Brown to go the fuck away?  Did we really need him back to make music this badly?  I hope he seriously stops making music like he says he will after this new CD comes out.  Because I can do without him.  Hell maybe if he reappears in another three-five years down the line, he might finally have grown a pair of balls to fess up and own what he has done and not try to shrug it all of like it's nothing.  Because domestic abuse is something.  It's something that should be taken seriously.

 

I know I've said fuck you to a lot of people on this list, but no one deserves it more than Chris Brown.

 

Btw the song itself is a bad song.  I do think the rest on here are worse than this.  But the fact that it's Chris Brown doing a song like this just makes it intolerable by default.

[Sweat]

Another person who hates Chris Brown added to the list.

[Wumbo]

Ahhh! I love Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. D:

 

But a lot of those other choices are good ones. I still think Want U Back is a far more despicable song than Swagger Jagger, though.

 

Regarding the forgettable rap thing: Yeah, I should really re-do that list someday somehow, I'm gonna make it all right, but not right now. There's many bad songs I neglected to mention.

[Sabre]

I also love "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", does that make me a bad person?

[Clappy]

All of you who like Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go...yes.

 

 

10. "Run The World (Girls)" - Beyonce

 

 

 

 

Beyoncé is the most overrated artist of all time, with Run the World (Girls) being her biggest offender.

 

 

 

 

Run the World (Girls) is the absolute worst song Beyonce has ever recorded.

 

 

 

 

So, let's get something straight here.

It takes one person (admittedly, one brilliant person) to write Bohemian Rhapsody, one of the greatest songs ever.

Yet it takes 6 people to write this?

Girls! we run this mother (yeah)
Girls! we run this mother (yeah)
Girls! we run this mother (yeah)
Girls! we run this mother (yeah)

Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run this mother? Girls
Who run this mother? Girls
Who run this mother? Girls
Who run this mother? Girls
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)

How? How did music sink so low? How does this pass off as a good song? Because it's Beyoncé? Well, this could have been performed by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, and it still would have sucked. There's no excuse for wasting time with this repetitive shit. Is this supposed to be some kind of propaganda? Congratulations, Beyoncé. You've convinced me... that you suck.

You'd think the repetitive, shitty-ass lyrics would be bad enough, but then there's the boring marching band beat, coupled with whatever the fuck 

(skip to 1:12). That is techno at its worst. Whoever recorded "AAAH AAAH AAH AH AH OH AAAH AAAH AAH AH AH WHAAAT" and thought it sounded good needs to get their head examined.

My fear is that feminists will get roped into thinking that this is a good song, because girls run this mutha (yeah!) and female empowerment, amirite? Well, here's my take. I think this song makes women, particularly Beyoncé, out to be self-absorbed annoying clowns. So, yeah. Find another, better song to rave about. Please. Any one of these will do.

 

 

 

She's pretty hot, too, so that's always a plus.

 

 

 

 

All of this is true.

 

9. "Whatzupwitu" - Eddie Murphy featuring Michael Jackson

 

 

Yeah you guys, who knew Eddie Murphy was once upon a time a R&B singer?  And that he had a duet with Michael Jackson...

 

 

This song constantly leaves me speechless.  It's definitely not the so bad it's good kind of speechless.  It's just...why was this made?  Once upon a time, both of these guys were at the top of the world in the 80s.  The 90s definitely weren't kind to either of them and it's just ironic that both of them decided to do this song together.  I honestly have no idea who is worse on this song.  Is it Eddie Murphy for writing and producing this psychedelic train wreck?  Or is it Michael Jackson for agreeing to do this because he thought this had a good message?  Please point out the good message in this Michael.  Is it asking people what's up with you whatzupwitu?

 

But yeah, just watch the music video.  I don't even need to explain how big of a failure this was.

[Clappy]

And because I really didn't write an actual summary for number 10, allow me to do one more.

 

8. "Higher" - Creed

 

 

 

Surprised it's not Arms Wide Open?  That songs sucks horribly too and it is the unofficial #51 on my countdown.  But hey, it's about time we got to my second least favorite lead singer ever.  Scott Stapp you are fucking horrible.

 

I really hate this clown.  This video is the epitome of every single Creed song/music video in a nutshell.

 

-Scott Stapp's nasally voice emphasized?  Check.

-An incredibly bizarre amount of focus on Scott Stapp's face?  Check.

-That part of the music video when Scott Stapp is floating above the stage like he is Jesus?  Check.

-That stupid Matrix effect when the audience freezes and the camera twirls around Scott Stapp so much?  Check.

-Scott saying "It helps me to appreciate."?  Check.

-Scott wearing that wife beater undershirt?  Check.

-Trying too hard?  Check.

 

God I just really hate this band so much and most of it is because of Scott Stapp.  Just like Kroeger, this douchebag comes off as an egotistical jackass when he makes some of the worst music imaginable.  Oh and the fact that they placed as the 18th best artist of the past decade by Billboard?  You got to be kidding me.  Whatever the fuck Billboard was on when doing such a list must be some strong shit.  Thanks for the massive ego rub Billboard because they are working on a new album.  Just when I thought we got rid of them, now I have to hear Scott and his nasally voice once more.  Gah!

[Clappy]

Gonna do one more just to make up for the lack of me the past two days.  Then after that, I'll try get up this weekend my 6-2 and a couple honorable mentions that almost made this list and some songs I would have included if I didn't set my rules up in the very beginning...oh and one recent song that came out during my list that I would have included if I knew about it earlier.  Oh and my number 1 song will be posted on Monday.  Now anyway

 

7. "Sexy Bitch Chick" - David Guetta & Akon

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hazmsUxrM

 

Saved the worst for last of my "I HATE 2010 MUSIC" compilation.

 

This is the epitome of Akon being an awful human being.  He comes off as a colossal tool in pretty much all his songs.  He likes to smack that all across the floor, he wants to fuck you, he's a lying, cheating, untrustworthy bastard.

 

Now time for a thorough plot summary of what this song is about:  Akon notices this woman he meets at the grocery store church fine dining establishment[s/] the club.  

 

She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before

 

And he is quite impressed by her compared to other woman.

 

Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe

 

...I don't have a neighborhood hoe as far as I know of...sorry as I continue onward.  Akon wants to find the right thing to say to her.

 

I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl

 

Without being disrespectful.

 

without being disrespectful

 

AND AFTER RACKING UP HIS BRAIN WHAT DOES HE COME UP WITH!?

 

Damn you're a sexy bitch!

 

REALLY!?  THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH!?  

 

Damn girl

 

NOT LOVELY GIRL?  NOT PRETTY FACE?  NOT STUNNING WOMAN?  HELL YOU CAN CALL HER A WORTHLESS SEX OBJECT AND THAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN SEXY BITCH.  SEXY BITCH IS SOMETHING ONE OF HER FEMALE FRIENDS CALL HER.  NOT A HACK PICK-UP ARTIST LIKE AKON.

 

Oh and what's even funnier is that Akon tries to defend her honor...BAHAHAHA

 

They say she low down
Its just a rumor and I don't believe em
They say she needs to slow down
The baddest thing around town

 

Way to defend the sexiest of all bitches.

 

Oh and btw, whose idea was it to have Akon sing a majority of this song in his lower register?  Because Akon's voice is already massively autotuned as it is.  Unless...that lower register is Akon's actual singing voice...because GAH IT'S AWFUL.

 

But have no fears of more backlash Akon because this is a David Guetta song.  I haven't forgotten about him.  This beat Mr. Guetta is absolute shit.  It sounds like you are taking a virtual crap all over this song because there is no need for that.   This song is already shitty enough to begin with.  I can't stand David Guetta songs. The only one I actually enjoy is I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas.  Otherwise, David Guetta has the ability to drain the life out of every artist he collaborates with.  However, all his other songs are boring compared to this one.  This one right here is horrendously bad and he should feel bad.

 

 

 

GET THAT SMUG LOOK OF YOUR FACE JACKASS!  I HATE THAT!

[Clappy]

Note: The rest of the music videos from here on out are going to be put in spoilers since Dr. Sex pointed out that it causes loading issues and on mobile, crashing.

 

6. "Rockstar" - Nickelback

 

Spoiler

 

Last Nickelback song.  I swear.

 

Now let's take a look at the positives and the negatives.

 

Positives: At least Chad Kroeger is only visible in this video for one second at least.

 

Negatives:  Everything else.

 

 

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

 

See this folks?  This is a massive walking contradiction at it's finest.  Because Chad Kroeger thinks that he and the rest of Nickelback are rockstars.  When in reality...they are a bunch of pop stars.  Nickelback, you are a massive disgrace to rock music and the rock charts because you guys make the same crap all the fucking time and you keep making money.  Then you make another cd and make it sound like pretty much the same damn thing and make even more money.  God.  No wonder they have never made it as wise men.  They are more like grown men stealing my time and once upon a time, my money.    

 

As a matter of fact, this is the epitome of all horribad Nickelback songs in a nutshell to me.  Just pure dull drum laziness.  Do the lyrics make any sense?  I'll let you see that for yourselves.

 

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
 

Why the fuck would anyone need fifteen cars?  Hell even the richest of celebrities don't have that many.

 

The girls come easy

 

Have these girls actually looked at you Chad?  Avril aside, I don't think anyone would want to hook up with a Joan Osbourne doppelganger.

 

and the drugs come cheap

 

You must have the world's cheapest drug dealer because drugs are definitely not cheap.  Not that I would know.

We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat

 

Or maybe it's because of your cheap drugs to help that weight loss?  Plus, what the hell does this have to do with anythign?  Meat Loaf is the first example that comes off my head as an overweight rockstar.  Chad, weight size does not matter anymore when it comes to something you don't have....talent.

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars

 

Movie stars have their own VIP section in bars?  I'm pretty sure that's in clubs dumbass.

Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there

 

WHERE IS THERE?!  WHERE MAY I ASK!?  

Every Playboy Bunny with her bleached blond hair

 

Playboy bunnies are attractive but yet again...WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?

 

Don't get me started on anything outside the chorus because when you have lyrical gems like these:

 

I'll have the quesadilla, ha, ha

 

I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser
I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

 

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels

 

You know you are in for a bad Nickelback song.

 

I found this article on Buzzfeed once about the song Rockstar and I remember this quote sticking out to me/

 

"If aliens came to earth and asked why everyone hates Nickelback so much, this song would be a perfect explanation."

 

I think that sums up my thoughts just right.