kev Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 The best fucking deathmatch ever and don't fucking argue with me. >: D 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President Squidward Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Peanuts Vendor: PEANUTS, GET YOUR PEANUTS OR THE PEANUTS FAN WILL HAVE HIS SECURITY GUARDS KILL YOU! Are you talking about the comic Peanuts or the snack? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 You just earned all my respect. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Are you talking about the comic Peanuts or the snack? The snack for the first mention and for the peanuts fan I mean the comic . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President Squidward Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 The snack for the first mention and for the peanuts fan I mean the comic . Good. Peanuts comic > Peanuts snack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWM Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 That match was friggin' awesome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Here's an idea. Have everyone dead fight each other then the winner of that has to challenge Patback and the RACB all alone. Or 4 winners to make it an even match. Whichever you like better (no I don't count due to that ending being non-canon ) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Old Man Jenkins Posted February 23, 2014 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 23, 2014 The following program you are about to witness is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the creator's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual events or locales is entirely coincidental. This program doesn't reflect the views or opinions of any person portrayed herein...except maybe Crushing... ...Anyway, IT'S JUST POSTS!Episode 14: Lighter of Two Evils OMJ: SBC News unofficial weatherman takes on SBC's unofficial arch nemesis! Here tonight, on Community Deathmatch! OMJ: Welcome death fans! Crushing: Yes, welcome indeed. OMJ: And we welcome you to yet another, long-awaited, butt-pounding, more than likely underwhelming follow-up to last episode's surprise hit, historic Deathmatch! I'm a kipster! Crushing: And I'm average. OMJ: And what a hell of a deathmatch do we have in store for you tonight, folks! A deathmatch between two titans on completely opposite ends of the spectrum, and it all culminated as a result of last episode's close encounter of the gay kind. Lets take a look back! PatBack: Dont you two f*ggots dare think that just because I commentated on this match with you, that that makes us even acquaintances! Omair: Trust me, wasnt betting on it PatBack: I came here to send a message and send it good! REAL GOOD! A storm is coming, f*gnuts! And then everything you know will become a total nightmare. Omair: lel k I'm sooooo scare- PatBack smashes a jar of Nutella in Omair's face. PatBack: EAT ON THAT, QUEERBALL! You want some too, old man?! OMJ: Please, please, let me assist you! OMJ pours another jar of Nutella into his pants. OMJ: Was showing that last part really necessary? Crushing: It was entirely necessary, I am sure. Otherwise, why would it even be there? OMJ: Ah yes, and joining me on commentary tonight is none other than the most bored man in the Community himself, Crushing Mayhem! Crushing: Thank you for that introduction, OMJ, I may appreciate it. OMJ: In fact, the last time you were here, you were accompanying Jelly for her grudge match against Aya during the Community Deathmatch season one finale! Crush: Ah jes, please do not remind me about that tragic night, but thanks for reminding me. Jelly, she didn't have to die, she did not need to die. But I am quite sure she died for good reason. OMJ: Yeah, perhaps the big man upstairs wanted her to ogle and lick the OTHER two members of The Beatles. Crush: Perhaps, perhaps not. OMJ: I know you two were close, #SpanishBuddies even, so on behalf of everyone at Community Deathmatch, we shower upon you the contract she signed upon joining the Community that doesn't hold us liable for any bodily harm or death during the filming of this show. Crush: Ah jes, I quite understand that, but I don't quite understand why? Why would Team Rage do what they did to her? While I do think they had their good reasons, I can't help but think about how bad it has negatively impacted me, her friends and her fans on various social media platforms. OMJ: Yeah, to hell with her family and what they think. Crush: I would not say that, but yes, that is pretty much the jist of what I am saying. I have been working hard, day and night, trying to perfect the art of the deathmatch much like she did before me in hopes that one day I can get a crack at her killer and/or killers in the ring. I wandered around the island of Puerto Rico, bored, with nothing but the jelly and katana sword on my back and the orange cap on my head. I swam all the way to Cuba and back with the Cubanos hot up on my TAILFIN. I hopped the border four times a day to further increase my Internet speed and train with the great Sin Cara of Mexico. I traversed the tallest mountain of all of Puerto Rico to drink the yolk of a Falcon egg in order to obtain its Falcon Powers, it's NOOTRIENTS. OMJ: ...Well, you've gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette here in the Deathmatch Arena, that's what we always say! Now lets head backstage where our deathmatch correspondent, Rock Goddess, is standing by with tonight's combatants! Crush: This Rock Goddess...is she or is she not a woman? Rock Goddess: Crushing, PablOMJ, I am here radiantly standing by with none other than Ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Omair: Rock Goddess: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mayor! Omair: lol tahts not ho you say my name Rock Goddess: But that's how it sounds like to me. First question on the agenda: How's about I open your jar and put your pickle up my vag? Omair: if you have a bag, then I'm straght. Rock Goddess: YES, even better! Make a woman outta me, Mr. E.V.I.L. What does that stand for anyway? Every Vagina Isssssssssssss Lethal? Omair: Well, I am gay you silly little willy so- Rock Goddess: How's about IIIIIII change your way of thinking? Omair: lol k that'll still be gay Rock Goddess: Poor desi, don't know how to treat a fine woman even if she comes at you full frontal. Omair: silly billy! You would get stoned to death for such insolence! Rock Goddess: You can throw your stones at me all you want and I'll keep asking for more! Omair: I butter getg oing to this match to the heath. Rock Goddess: Now you just had to go and mention...butter. Omair just rides away on his llama. Rock Goddess: I am now most radiantly standing by with- PatBack: If you so much as look my general direction, I will plant your ass into the ground, fagnut! Rock Goddess: Straight to the point, eh? I hope you're not this fast in bed, I'll let you plant your seeds in my ass anytime PatBack: Keep pushing your fucking luck, queer! Rock Goddess: A lot of people say you're disturbed, do you have any, even the slightest, idea just HOW MUCH that turns me on? PatBack: Alright queerball, you're fucking asking for it- Rock Goddess: Oh, I'm practically begging for it, but one more thing tho. Last time, you said there was a storm coming to Community Deathmatch. PatBack: What fucking of it, you cum dumpster? Rock Goddess: Will it be anything like the storm raging in my loins right now? PatBack suddenly headbutts Rock Goddess to the ground. PatBack: Dont bother getting up. PatBack proceeds to march over the fallen correspondent. PatBack: Fucking f*g. Rock Goddess: I wanted him to give me head...but this is just redick! Back to you, Pabloooooooow! OMJ: Community Deathmatch: Where we all have a gay old time, folks! Crush: Ain't that the truth. OMJ: Now without further ado, lets take ourselves at that thar tape! E.V.I.L. Join Date: August 16, 2012 User Ranking: Choir Boy Group: Customers Profile Views: 178873 Age: Age Unknown Birthday: February 18 Gender: Male Interests: Telling people to go away Location: STOP STALKING ME, I HAVE A FAMILY TO TAKE CARE OF! D: Favorite Episode: Your momma Favorite Character: Me OMJ: Hailing from a family he's taking care of, our first combatant enters this deathmatch at age unknown, although he just celebrated his 15th birthday just a few days ago! Crush: He is a Choir Boy that has contributed to SBC for almost two years. Sounds like someone who has his priorities in order. OMJ: He is quite a force to be reckoned with with almost 180k profile views! Jeez Louise, when can we start seeing member's post counts again? Crush: He's interested in telling people to go away, his favorite episode is my mother and his favorite character is me. That makes me feel quite average, I must say. PatBack Join Date: September 11, 2012 User Ranking: Karate King Group: Customers Profile Views: 63177 Age: Age Unknown Birthday: Birthday Unknown Gender: Male Favorite Episode: Dying for Pie OMJ: Hailing from nothing, our next combatant, making his second appearance in a deathmatch in just a matter of a few episodes, entered the Community almost a mere month following his opponent on the ripe, old date of September 11th! Coincidence? Crush: I think so. His age is unknown, as well as his birthday. OMJ: We may as well assume he's Ultimate Warrior and hails from parts unknown. But, he is a Karate King, which ranks lower than Choir Boy for some reason. Crush: He is trailing behind his opponent in terms of profiles views by over 100,000 and his favorite episode is Dying for Pie. OMJ: How fitting, because somebody will be dying tonight! Just not, ya know, for pie. Maybe for Nutella tho. Crush: I'm bored. OMJ: Ahh, you kids and being bored all the time. But what better way to liven things up than with some good, ole fashioned death! Lets head down to the ring for tonight's featured presentation! Crush: Here comes E.V.I.L. now, that big ham. OMJ: Or big "spam" Crush: : | OMJ: Tough crowd, hopefully not tough enough to handle this! A bunch of SBM members with their avatars changed to piantas come dancing out with canes and top hats as Omair makes his entrance, dancing and singing a jig with a red cap and a jar of Nutella. Omair: I'm Mister Alaska, I'm Mister Mnow! I'm Mister Weather Channel, I'm Mister E.VI.LLLLLLUH! Gay squids call me Omaaaaiiiir, whenever I post! Turns into spam, at most! Omair posts something on SBM and it immediately turns into a can of spam. Omair: JCM, that's gross lol k! BRRRRRRRRRR Omair spins around in place as his Piantas take it from here. Piantas: He's Mr. Alaska, he's Mr. Snow! He's Mr. Weather Channel, he's Mr. E.V.I.L.! Omair: Gay squids call me Omaaaaiiiir, whenever I post! Haha! Turns into spam, at most! Omair quotes HPL on SBM and she immediately turn into a can of bacon spam. Omair: JCM, that's gross lmao! Omair rushes into the ring. Omair: I never wanna go a day that's over forty degrees. I'd rather have it thirty, twenty, ten, five, then contract HIV EEEEEEEEEEEP! Omair spins around in place again Omair: BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! Piantas: He's Mr. Alaska, he's Mr. Snow! Omair: That's right! Piantas: He's Mr. Weather Channel! Omair: So cute lel! Piantas: He's Mr. E.VI.L.! Omair: Gay squids call me Omair, wheneeeeever I post! Turns into spam, at most! Omair quotes all the Piantas and they all immediately turn into cans of spam. Omair: 2Gross. Cans of Spam: TOOOOOO GROSS! Omair: BRRRRRRRRR LEL- Cut the music! Alright now you listen up here PatBack, lel?! I want you to wake up and march your PatAss down here right now and take your spamming like a gay squi- PatBack: WAKE UP! PatBack's music hits and he marches down to the ring, no nonsense. He walks by HPL, the can of bacon spam. He grab her, pops open her top with his bare hands and eats out her bacon spam hole before tossing her can aside. PatBack: FEED ME MORE! PatBack begins assaulting the other SBMers turned Cans of Spam and eats them all up as well. OMJ: Oh dear Neptune, did PatBack just eat all that spam?! Crush: It appears so, but don't take my word for it. OMJ: He's more like me than I thought, real Hawaiian at heart, chugging down all that spam! Good on him. PatBack marches around the ring, verbally assaulting the guests in attendance. PatBack: A storm's coming, shitbirds! And you're all gonna get caught up in it! Not even weather man there will be here to predict it! He makes a full rotation around the ring before heading back up the ramp, still chewing on some spam as Omair looks on from the ring ready yet confused. OMJ: What in the deep blue sea is going on here?! Crush: It appears PatBack came out for tonight's deathmatch only to leave almost immediately afterward. Still, don't take my word for it. OMJ: But this is Community Deathmatch, Goshdangit! You can't just show up and leave on such short notice! I can't work like this- ACS: Rebellion! Darris: Against! Felix: Cyber! ACS: Bullies! Darris: Team! Felix: RAGE! Team Rage's music hits as ACS comes dancing down to the ring through the crowd alongside Darris, Felix and a few other "friends" of his who all look like smaller versions of ACS himself. OMJ: Whoa! This has "the big one" written all over California. Crush: It just might, lets just wait and see. ACS: I'm Mr. YSFlight, I'm Mr. gun! I am no Archangel, I'm the devil you know! Team Rage hops over the security barrier and they all dance around the ring. ACS: My friends call me ACS, whenever I post! Comes out my ass, at most! ACS pulls some shit out of his ass and sling it at Omair. ACS: I'm oooooone to boast! Haha! ACS' Friends: He's Mr. YSFlight, he's Mr. Gun! ACS eats two huge bean burritos whole at once and "posts" more shit out. ACS' Friends: Heeeeeee is no Aaaaaarchangel, heeeeee is the devil you know! ACS: My friends call me ACS, whenever I post! Comes out my ass, at most! ACS slings his shit at the Spam Can SBMers at ringside. ACS's Friends: Heeeeee's one to boast! ACS: Thank you. =) ACS rushes into the ring along with Darris and Felix. ACS: I never wanna know a day where I don't rest English in peace. I'd rather point out grammar, spelling, punctuation and be Grammar Naziiiiiiis! ACS gets in Elastic Dog's face. ACS: Oh some say I'm full of hot gas, but meanwhile in the Deathmatch Arena, I just ate two bean burritos that were REEEALLY hot! Oooohehehehe! ACS is the only one to laugh at his own joke before having Darris and Felix like it for good measure while his other "friends" start dancing and duck walking. ACS' Friends: He's Mr. YSFlight, he's Mr. Gun! ACS: SING IT! ACS's Friends: Heeeeeee is no Aaaaaarchangel, heeeeee is the devil you know! ACS: My friends call me ACS, whenever I post! Comes out my ass, at most! ACS throws the last of his shit at OMJ and Crushing in their broadcast booth, but the glass window takes the brunt of the shit. ACS: IIIIIII'm one to boast! ACS's Friends: TOOOOOO BOAST! ACS: Well, well, well. Felix: Who do we have here boys? Darris: A gay squid and his little biiiiitch! Elastic: A female dog joke, as if I never heard that before. ACS: Since PatAss decided to eject himself out of this match, why don't I jump in the pilot seat? OMJ: And the plain puns come flying in. Crush: Yes, so it seems. Elastic: Why the fuck not, I'll allow it! OMJ: It looks like we have ourselves a deathmatch for tonight after all! Crush: Yes, don't take my word for it, but it would've been quite a shame had there been no deaths tonight. OMJ: Well, lets just go ahead and have ourselves a look at the tape for tonight's new combatant! And do be advised that we are, indeed, going off of his SBM profile. ACS Join Date: May 14, 2011 User Ranking: Excellent Group: Members Active Posts: 794 Profile Views: 7,428 Member Title: #FreeHunter Age: 14 years old Birthday: July 14, 1999 Gender: Male Location: Mandeville, LA OMJ: Our new combatant for tonight, making his official deathmatch debut, hails from Mandeville, LA. Another real place. We're somewhat on a roll here with these locations! Crush: He's his opponent's junior by only just a few months. OMJ: This #FreeShooter has been ranked as Excellent. One would have to think majority of those likes came from himself. Crush: And with only a little over 7400 profile views, he seems to have a distinct disadvantage against his opponent. But, don't take my word for it. OMJ: Either that or it just goes to show just how prone SBC is to bots compared to SBM, or just how not popular ACS really is. Crush: If anything, those views probably came from himself. Don- OMJ: Yeah, yeah, don't take your word for it. But ACS does have about over a years worth of more experience than his opponent, so he has that ball in his court. Lets see if he can run with it or get winded before he even makes two steps! Suddenly, the sound of a hammer pounding blared throughout the arena as Halibut stood behind his podium at ringside, having just looked on at the events that unfolded before him. Halibut: May I have some decorum on this forum please! You are all here to witness two trollish users from completely opposite sides of the tracks battle to the death for your hearty amusement. But I'm afraid I have some Bad Revieeeeeews! E.V.I.L., you are a motor mouth, metal mouth of very questionable backstory. You spam for the sake of irritating all other decent forum folk, you may as well just fuck the next jar of Nutella and snowball you see, and I think you give your father very good reason to be the prick towards you that he is today! ACS, you are definitely no PatBack when it comes to giving us something to look forward to heading into this deathmatch, you're a kid of ill repute, your boobs make Aya's look like mere raisins, we still have no reason to believe that you and your "friends" are all not just one and the same, your humor is tasteless as well your video game library and you may as well leave and jerk off to more 9/11 re-enactments and eat the next plane you see falling out of the sky ! Thank you, very much! Halibut pounds on his hammer again much to everyone's annoyance.BAD REVIEWS HALIBUT OMJ: Bad Reviews Halibut, ladies and gentlemen! People love him! Crush: So it would seem. Elastic approaches Omair. Elastic: If you don't kill this fat fuck, I'll murder you two times over and bathe in the blood of your llamasAny last requests?! Omair: If I die, make sure you scatter my ashes throughout anywhere in Alaska BUT Anchorage k! ACS: When I win, Elastic...you. Me. TR chat. One on one. Elastic: Yeah right, one on one...on one on one on one. NOW LETS JUST GET IT ON! OMJ: And tonight's featured deathmatch is finally underway! Omair takes a few swings at ACS but his hits just bounces off ACS like nothing. OMJ: Omar's hits are just getting absorbed by ACS like some sort of...fat, eviiiil sponge! Crush: Omair will have to put more pounds behind those pounds if he hopes to make a firm dent into ACS. OMJ: Lookie you, cracking fat jokes. Crush: Jes, most often times those jokes just lead to more trouble. OMJ: But you just cracked one. Crush: I did what now? Omair continues pounding away at ACS's gut, but his hits just keep bouncing off. ACS: My turn! ACS lays a hard three hit combo into Omair. Crush: A pretty vicious three hit combo by ACS there. OMJ: And the young desi is sent flying into the turnbuckle! ACS splashes his entire body weight onto Omair in the corner repeatedly. Crush: ACS is looking as he wants to squish his opponent like a pancake. OMJ: With some Nutella spread over it, I hope! ACS: I think I'm gonna call you "School" cuz I hate school! Omair: Lets both just hate school togethe- ACS begins punching Omair repeated in the corner turnbuckle. OMJ: ACS showing absolutely no remorse, hammering away at Omar without mercy! Crush: Don't take his word for it. ACS goes to splash into Omair again, but Omair's monobrow wiggles around by itself before extending and cracking ACS right in his face as he charged on over. ACS reels back in sharp pain and shock. ACS: What the fuck, man?! OMJ: Omair's monobrow has just taken on a will of it's own as it went out of it's way to protect the face it grows on! Crushing: Heh, it's like what my neck beard does for me. Don't take my word for it. OMJ: The same goes for my stache. Omair: Time to whip you into shape k?! Omair proceeds to whip away at ACS with his monobrow, cutting into the TR member's very loose skin. Omair then tackles ACS down to the ground, punching and whipping away at him before strangling him with his monobrow. Crush: It appears Omair is now taking this opportunity to strangle his opponent to death. Pretty intriguing strategy, I must admit, albeit somewhat ineffective. OMJ: Whats even more intriguing, Crushing, is that ACS even has a neck to strangle! ACS struggles, gasping for breath, before smirking to his teammates at ringside. He grabs back at Omair by his head and throws him overhead with authority. Omair crashes on the mat as ACS cracks his "neck". ACS: Unfortunately for you, I don't have a neck to strangle! OMJ: See, I knew it was 2good2betrue! ACS jumps up into the air to cannonball Omair, but Omair manages to roll away in the knick of time. ACS lands hard on his ass, in very obvious pain, and rolls out of the ring. Darris and Felix tend to him while Omair gets back to his feet in the ring. Omair bounces off the ropes to jump on top of all three of them, but Darris enters the ring and cuts Omair off short before the jump by curb stomping the young desi down to the mat hard. OMJ: Dear Neptune! ACS manages to cut Omair's aerial assault short by goring him right in half! Crush: I'm pretty sure that was actually Felix. But just don't take my word for it. OMJ: Well fuck me if I can't tell the damn bastards apart. And Elastic can't seem to tell the difference either as Team Rage's Heavy continues to pound and stomp his way all over Omair like snow! Darris: I'M GONNA WRECK IT! Darris lands a hard kick to the back of Omair's head. He then heads out of the ring, regroups with Team Rage and switches back in with ACS, who re-enters the ring and continues to punish Omair. OMJ: ACS is back in the ring and reaffirms his dominance over Omar! ACS posts some more shit out of his ass and stuff it all in a jar. OMJ: ACS has just posted more shit and he stuffed it all, vacuum-packed in a clear jar! What could he possibly be pulling out his ass this time?! Crush: Whatever it is, it doesn't look to be quite effective, but I'm sure he is doing this all for good reason. ACS: Here, have some Nutella lel! ACS slaps some of the shit onto a slice of bread he had under his fat rolls and goes to shove it down Omair's throat. OMJ: Oh dear Neptune below! I can't watch! Crush: I'm bored. Omair: NOT CUTE LOL Omair manages to grab hold of ACS' arm and pulls him down into an Arctic Circle choke. Omair wrenches away at ACS's flabby arm with all his might. Darris and Felix look on, trying to rally their team mate, feeling his pain. OMJ: Omar is looking to take ACS's arm right out of it's socket! Omair takes ACS' hand, that still has the shit bread in it, and takes it to ACS' mouth. After a bit of a struggle, Omair finally maneuvers it down ACS' mouth. OMJ: The deli-shit-ness has landed! Crush: Jes, it has. Omair releases ACS from the choke and taunts him and Team Rage with some of this Omair: Omair begins whipping ACS with his monobrow again until ACS retreats back outside the ring to regroup with his team again. Crush: Omair sending ACS reeling out of the ring. He has really turned the tide of this deathmatch into his favor, I must say. ACS: I need a fuckin medic! Felix: I CAN FIX IT! Felix takes out a banhammer from under the ring and uses it to heal up his brother and unban him from the ring by hopping in himself and trades blows with Omair. Crush: Felix is looking to avenge his little brother here. OMJ: Or save his own ass. Just sayin'. Felix, once known as World Travel on the community, used to be around to fix up his "brother's" problems but after getting suspended for using a gay slur, Felix has reinvented himself and has join his brother's cause in dismantling the SpongeBob Community message board by message board! Felix goes to beat Omair's face in with the hammer, but it suddenly gets yanked out of his hands and gets stuck on Omair's mouth. OMJ: What the Davy Jones was that?! Crush: Felix's hammer seems to have been attracted to Omair's face. Don't take my word for it tho. OMJ: By George, I think you're right. The hammer has magnetically attached itself to Omair's face due to his damn braces! Straight outta Braceface! Crush: ¿Que? OMJ: You know, that cartoon with Batgirl, I think. Crush: That movie was very average. Felix attempts to get his hammer back but Omair bites his fingers, pulls the hammer off himself and clocks Felix in the head with it. Felix rolls out of the ring, giving way for Darris to re-enter the match. Darris hops off the ropes for another huge curbstomp, but Omair's monobrow catches him before he could come stomping down and whips him away in midair. Omair: I'm gonna roll all over you like tundra! Omair charges at Darris, sunset flips over him and picks him up for a Rolling Tundra, bombing Darris out of the ring as well. OMJ: Despite these increasingly overwhelming odds, Omair has done good by steamrolling over his opponent(s)! Crush: Jes, he has. Quite tiring, really, I must imagine. ACS sneaks back into the ring from behind and cracks Omair in the back of his head with Felix's hammer. Elastic: DAMN YOU, ACS! DAMN YOU! OMJ: Hey! I was supposed to say that. Crush: Don't take it from him. ACS picks Omair back up with a far away look in his eyes. OMJ: I don't like that look in his eyes, Crushing. He only gets that look when he comes across a Carl's Jr.'s/Hardee's! ACS takes a can of Dr. Pepper out. OMJ: What in Neptune's name does he think he's doing?! ACS pops the can open and chugs it down. OMJ: He's drinking it?! HES DRINKING IT THAT SONOFABITCH! What the barnacle did Dr. Pepper ever do to you, you lousy dastard?!! Crush: I am more of a passion fruit drinker, myself. OMJ: Same here, mang. Same here. ACS suddenly posts out an egg from his ass. Crush: That's not something you see averagely everyday. ACS has just asexually posted out an egg of seemingly unknown origins and purpose out onto the ring, folks! OMJ: Is Dylan gonna come hatching out of it and reveal that he's been ACS all long? Crush: I wouldn't hold my breath, but it's a distinct possibility. Felix pulls Omair out of the ring and proceeds to drive him head first into the security barrier that separate the fans from the ring before Darris joins in on the assault as ACS directs traffic from the ring. ACS: Wreck him up! Wreck his shit, then fix em up for me! The guests start to boo them for outright double teaming Omair now. ACS: We're not the bad guys here, he is! He, that bitch refereeing this match and all these other hypocrite SBCers! But this here, is the biggest hypocrite of them all. He lives very much so to his name for he is nothing but pure, unadulterated...EVIL. OMJ: ACS not just assaulting Omar, but the entire community as well! Why are we always trying to make peace with this kid? Crush: I'm sure we have our good reasons, but it only spells out trouble in the long run. Team Rage tosses Omair back into the ring and ACS grabs hold of his face. Omair's monobrow attempts to whip him again, but ACS manages to catch it in his hand and yanks it off right from Omair's face. He then plants Omair face first into the mat and proceeds to tighten Omair's braces in. Omair: This is not cute lol k! ACS pulls Omair back up and tosses him back out of the ring, standing tall inside. OMJ: ACS must be feeling pretty big now, well, bigger than usual. Suddenly, a girl hops into the ring wearing a matching green cap. She bounces off the ropes and lands right on top of ACS' head, flattening him out. OMJ: I can't believe it! It's Omair's BFF, his partner in crime, the Bonnie to his Clyde, the very obvi reference of the Luigi to his Mario! Crush: HPL, I see. Things here just got a bit more average. OMJ: she'll get what the wink means, but unfortunately for Team Rage, they aren't the only ones who can palette swap! ACS wiggles his flat fat ass out of the ring as Felix enters in his stead, but HPL catches sight of him before he could curb stomp her by catching him with a Super Jump Punch. Felix goes flying, prompting Darris to come in and wreck things, but Omair spams a metal cap to HPL, who puts it on, making her invulnerable to Darris' attacks. Darrow bounces off the ropes but she blasts into him with a Green Missle out of nowhere, taking them both out of the ring. Crushing: HPL, proving herself to be quite capable in the community by holding her own in this highly competitive deathmatch. Omair and ACS both re-enter the ring at the same time. Omair spams out a couple of Mario power-ups all over the ring. Omair makes a run for the Ice Flower while ACS guns for the Fire Flower. Outside of the ring, Darris and Felix pull out their assault rifles and try to gun HPL down, but her metal cap power up makes her invulnerable to the shots fired. She hammers away on them both with a Canadian Cyclone as Omair and ACS stare each other down at high noon. OMJ: This could be it, folks! Now or never for both of these two users! Omair posts some cold spam at ACS, who replies back with some hot shit. They blast each with everything they have in them, taking some of the guests in the audience out with em, until the egg that ACS laid earlier finally hatches out yet another member of Team Rage. OMJ: That can't be?! Crush: Why, yes, it is. OMJ: It's Kilo Delta Foxtrot! Kilo Delta Foxtrot is here! Kilo begins liking all of ACS's posts in order to give his teammate an edge over Omair. OMJ: That fiend! What sorta loser like his own posts *snaps* just like that?! It's disgusting! Hey, this is like the first time likes actually mattered in a deathmatch. A Deathmatch First here, folks! Crush: It is a very questionable method, but it seems to be working well for him so far. ACS' hot shit begins to overpower Omair's cold spam, flooding him in hot shit. HPL notices this and re-enters the ring after laying out both Darris and Felix. She takes out her magic wand and proceeds to perform a killing curse. HPL: AVADA KEDAVRA! A green bolt shoots out from her wand and aims to hit ACS, but the Team Rager pulls a flooded Omair in front of him. The curse hits Omair right in the face, sending him crashing back down onto the mat, motionless. OMJ: No! Not like this! Not like this! Crush: Unfortunately, it is like this. Hard, but we have to live with it. HPL: Omie! Elastic: You Rowling humping bitch! I ought to kill you! Elastic goes to attack HPL but ACS shoots him away with some more hot shit. ACS goes to shoot some hot shit at her, but her metal cap is still in effect. HPL tears up before readying another killing curse for ACS, but Darris comes in with a lightning fast curb stomp from behind, knocking the metal cap off her head. Darris: IM GONNA WRECK HER! Darris proceeds to wreck HPL up a new one. Felix: I CAN FIX HER! Felix proceeds to hammer away on her. ACS: Guys! Lets keep the kill streak going! OMJ: No! Not HPL! With Aya gone, she's the only one I have left to flirt with! ACS signals for a Triple Payday. He and Felix hoists HPL onto Darris' shoulders before charging towards and power bombing her into one of the corner turnbuckles, impaling her right through it. Her blood and entrails fall and drip everywhere before she finally ceases to move. OMJ: Shades of what happened to Jelly, eh Crush? Crush: Please do not bring that up again, but once again, thanks for reminding me. ACS picks Elastic up. ACS: Check on the gay squid, bitch. Elastic and Team Rage surveys Omair's body to make sure. Elastic: Well, as much as it really, REALLY pains me in the ass to say this...WINNER- Omair: NUTELL! Omair shouts out, miraculously popping back to life and spooking Team Rage and Elastic. Omair kips up to his feet. Omair: GOTCHA LMAO never have I been happier to have braces lel OMJ: Praise Allah! Omair is still in this thing! There's still hope! ACS, Darris and Felix moved in on Omair, but Omair catches all three of them by surprise with a devastating Omairio Tornado. OMJ: I bet the weather channel couldn't have predicted that! Crush: More than likely not. Omair knocks the three of them out and away. Kilo comes in to attack Omair from behind, but Omair pulls out his extra layers of clothing and capes Kilo's attack away before sending Kilo flying out with a Super Jump Punch of his own. ACS, Darris and Felix begin to regroup in the ring as Omair finally notices what they had done to HPL. Omair: Not cute. Not laughing out loud... Omair grabs himself a rainbow star, enveloping himself in a bright rainbow glow. Crush: Oh my goodness. OMJ: What? I'm not too hip on this Mario shit like you kids. Crush: How do you say? Uhhhh, shit may go down. Jes, lets go with that. Now rendered invincible and super powered, Omair takes on all three main TR members at once. He clotheslines Darris before nailing Felix with a running knee to the face. ACS tries to fire some more hot shit at him, but it doesn't effect Omair, who picks ACS up and uses him as a hammer, pounding on Darris and Felix before powering them out of the ring himself with another Omairio Tornado. With just him and ACS in the ring, Omair looks to finish his opponent off with his signature Omairio Finale. OMJ: Looks like Omair is gonna finish off ACS for good! Allah be praised, happy days are here agayn! He takes out his camera and is about go for the kill but he suddenly plops down face first, his rainbow star eventually wearing off as ACS looks on in bewilderment. Elastic: DAFUQ? OMJ: Ah shoots, ya know what? It's passed Omair's bedtime, and we all know how serious he is about his sleep. Elastic proceeds to slap Omair's snoring face. Elastic: DON'T YOU LAY DOWN ON ME NOW, YOU FAGGOT! ACS smirks and takes his time getting back up to his feet. Crush: ACS now knows this and doesn't seem to be in a rush to end this. Suddenly, an unseen force begins slashing and tearing away at Omair's insides. Omair writhes around in pain, still asleep as whatever it is has its way with him. OMJ: What in the grimy deep are we witnessing right now, folks?! Crush: This certainly isn't average. OMJ: Ya think?! Omair lays in a large pool of his own blood. ACS: R.I- Two otherworldly hands suddenly reach out from under the mat and pulls him down a deep hole into the ring itself. Omair: NOT CUTE! NOT CUTE! LEL K- A geyser of blood suddenly shoots out from the hole he was pulled into, splashing out all the way up to the ceiling of the arena. It gushes for a few minutes before finally stopping. ACS: Elastic: Fuck it. WINNER, ASS! OMJ: DAFUQ MANG? Overkill up the ass, I mean, really Crush: I'm tired, well it's been fun while it lasted. Goodnight OMJ. Elastic reluctantly goes to raise ACS' arm up in victory but he suddenly gets beat down by Darris, Felix and Kilo. They knock him out with a Triple Payday in the ring. ACS: A storm is coming, hypocrites! And the nightmare is just beginning! ACS picks up the unconscious Elastic Dog and they proceed to leave the arena with him. OMJ: Quick! Somebody stop them! Nobody does anything. OMJ: Goshdangit Crushing! Crush: I may want revenge for Jelly's death but I'm not completely suicidal. OMJ: Well, after well...all of that. I'm afraid we're all out of time! From all of us at Community Deathmatch! Good Fight, Goodnight! 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sauce Mama Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Well I sure got a good laugh from this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aya♥ Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 your boobs make Aya's look like mere raisins glad my boobs made it into this addition of today's deathmatch 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 NO ELASTIC I told you to not let anyone harm him. D: I must admit, that Omair musical number had me laughing pretty hard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 That episode was average. I'm bored. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 What no me making a sports leap out of nowhere and combining every sport ever to stop them? I kid I kid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crushingmayhem Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 This was so funny lol. Especially my role. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tropicalnerds Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 The fuck? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 The fuck? Welcome to SBC. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.V.I.L. Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 "JCM that's gross lmao" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tropicalnerds Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Welcome to SBC. Thanks, but I've been here a while. Just haven't posted anything. Also does OMJ just "like" everything people post in this thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks, but I've been here a while. Just haven't posted anything. Also does OMJ just "like" everything people post in this thread?Mostly just the feedback towards the episodes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBManiac Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 XD These are pretty funny. As for other potential matches... Nards vs. SBManiac Nuggets vs. SBManiac Nards vs. ACS/Team Rage Also, you might want to use my info from SBM instead of here for the tapes. Just saying. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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