Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[Joe Biden]

"Thank You" is not on your list, I'm wondering whyyy

[Katniss]

Good stuff on this list, my man. Especially that Alicia Keys <3

Your thoughts on:

Drops of Jupiter

Love Don't Cost a Thing

Lady Marmalade

Come my lady come come my lady Butterfly

Hanging by a Moment

 

[Steel Sponge]

Thoughts on?:

Again
When It's Over
The Way You Love Me
Beautiful Day
With Arms Wide Open
Angel
Follow Me
Drive

Also, second that to Butterfly.

Edited March 30, 2016 by Steel Sponge

[CyanideFishbone]

oh my god it's been a while is a running joke between me and my dad as creed is also no joke my dad seriously wrote "from scott stapp" on one of my christmas gifts last year but that's besides the point. Anyways, ahh, 2001, the year I was born. Opinions on:

 

With Arms Wide Open (please tear this one a new asshole)

Be Like That

Jaded 

Beautiful Day

[Wumbo]

First off, I've forgotten to post the full list, so here it is!

Spoiler

 

1. "Ms. Jackson" - Outkast

2. "If You're Gone" - Matchbox Twenty

3. "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" - Eve ft. Gwen Stefani

4. "Fallin'" - Alicia Keys

5. "Kryptonite" - 3 Doors Down

6. "One Minute Man" - Missy Elliott ft. Ludacris

7. "South Side" - Moby ft. Gwen Stefani

8. "Independent Women" - Destiny's Child

9. "It Wasn't Me" - Shaggy ft. Rikrok

10. "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" - Jay-Z

11. "U Remind Me" - Usher

12. "Survivor" - Destiny's Child

13. "I Just Wanna Love U (Give It 2 Me)" - Jay-Z

14. "Ride wit Me" - Nelly ft. City Spud

15. "I'm Real" - Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule

16. "Thank You" - Dido

17. "Danger (Been So Long)" - Mystikal ft. Nivea

18. "Again" - Lenny Kravitz

19. "Fiesta" - R. Kelly ft. Jay-Z

20. "Nobody Wants to Be Lonely" - Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera

21. "Only Time" - Enya

22. "Stutter" - Joe ft. Mystikal

23. "Crazy for This Girl" - Evan and Jaron

24. "Jaded" - Aerosmith

25. "Love Don't Cost a Thing" - Jennifer Lopez

26. "Bootylicious" - Destiny's Child

27. "Get Ur Freak On" - Missy Elliott

28. "Be Like That" - 3 Doors Down

29. "Southern Hospitality" - Ludacris

30. "Love" - Musiq Soulchild

31. "Beautiful Day" - U2

32. "Oochie Wally" - Nas and Bravehearts

33. "Austin" - Blake Shelton

34. "Hero" - Enrique Iglesias

35. "Most Girls" - Pink

36. "The Space Between" - Dave Matthews Band

37. "There You'll Be" - Faith Hill

38. "Heard It All Before" - Sunshine Anderson

39. "So Fresh So Clean" - Outkast

40. "Grown Men Don't Cry" - Tim McGraw

41. "Stranger in My House" - Tamia

42. "Irresistible" - Jessica Simpson

43. "When It's Over" - Sugar Ray

44. "Missing You" - Case

45. "Hemmorhage (In My Hands)" - Fuel

46. "E.I." - Nelly

47. "Superwoman Pt. II" - Lil' Mo ft. Fabolous

48. "I'm Like a Bird" - Nelly Furtado

49. "Ain't Nothin' 'bout You" - Brooks & Dunn

50. "It's Over Now" - 112

51. "Loverboy" - Mariah Carey ft. Cameo

52. "Contagious" - The Isley Brothers ft. R. Kelly and Chanté Moore

53. "Music" - Erick Sermon ft. Marvin Gaye

54. "I Wish" - R. Kelly

55. "Angel" - Shaggy

56. "Hanging by a Moment" - Lifehouse

57. "Who I Am" - Jessica Andrews

58. "Turn Off the Light" - Nelly Furtado

59. "Livin' It Up" - Ja Rule ft. Case

60. "It's a Great Day to Be Alive" - Travis Tritt

61. "Play" - Jennifer Lopez

62. "Differences" - Ginuwine

63. "I'm Already There" - Lonestar

64. "Family Affair" - Mary J. Blige

65. "Where the Party At" - Jagged Edge ft. Nelly

66. "Drive" - Incubus

67. "Follow Me" - Uncle Kracker

68. "Never Had a Dream Come True" - S Club 7

69. "I Do!!" - Toya

70. "Crazy" - K-Ci & JoJo

71. "One More Day" - Diamond Rio

72. "I Hope You Dance" - Lee Ann Womack

73. "Don't Happen Twice" - Kenny Chesney

74. "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" - 3LW

75. "Promise" - Jagged Edge

76. "Dance with Me" - Debelah Morgan

77. "I'm a Thug" - Trick Daddy

78. "All for You" - Janet

79. "This I Promise You" - 'N Sync

80. "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" - Toby Keith

81. "The Way You Love Me" - Faith Hill

82. "I Wanna Be Bad" - Willa Ford

83. "Lady Marmalade" - Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa and Pink

84. "Case of the Ex" - Mýa

85. "Someone to Call My Lover" - Janet

86. "Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)" - Train

87. "What Would You Do?" - City High

88. "Fill Me In" - Craig David

89. "With Arms Wide Open" - Creed

90. "Butterfly" - Crazy Town

91. "Don't Tell Me" - Madonna

92. "Get Over Yourself" - Eden's Crush

93. "My Baby" - Lil' Romeo

94. "All or Nothing" - O-Town

95. "He Loves U Not" - Dream

96. "Here's to the Night" - Eve 6

97. "Put It on Me" - Ja Rule ft. Lil' Mo and Vita

98. "Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)" - Blu Cantrell

99. "Peaches & Cream" - 112

100. "It's Been Awhile" - Staind

 

Thank You: I mean, it's still a great song. Just didn't make the top 10, is all.

Drops of Jupiter: Man, I remember when this was my jam. Unfortunately, not so anymore.

Love Don't Cost a Thing: Strangely enough, I found myself liking most of J. Lo's 2001 hits. I still think this decade's J. Lo has been overall better, but yeah, there's definitely some pretty good songs from her this year.

Lady Marmalade: Pretty damn irritating, if you ask me. Honestly, I never liked this song.

Butterfly: Sick Chili Peppers hook can't even save this one. It's honestly just such a pathetic-sounding song, I'm not sure what my commentary can further take away from it.

Hanging by a Moment: Eh. Definitely nowhere near as insufferable as "You and Me".

Again: Lenny Kravitz is the man, and while this isn't one of his best songs by a long shot, it's still pretty darn good.

When It's Over: Okay, so maybe I don't hate Sugar Ray as much as I let on. Damn their incessant catchiness.

The Way You Love Me: Some of the worst autotune usage I've ever heard, and beyond that the song's just too sappy for me to enjoy.

Beautiful Day: Someday I'll get to the U2 songs I really love, but for what it's worth, this one's pretty good. Nice and happy.

WRIHHH AHMS WIE OHEN: You know, I never had a big problem with this song before, but while doing this list, something inside me snapped and I just can't take it anymore. A big chunk of why this song doesn't work is Scott Stapp's garbled vocals. It's a shame, because they've got a good idea for a song here, but it was just completely botched. UNDAAAHHH THE SUNLIEEEE

Angel: Kinda dull, not nearly as fun as "It Wasn't Me".

Follow Me: I never liked this song, not even as a kid. It's just so... limp.

Drive: As shown in the list, these slower-tempo quasi-rock songs really didn't do much for me.

Be Like That: Not as good as "Kryptonite", but still a pretty good 3 Doors down song from their best album.

Jaded: Aerosmith's wussier years should make me upset, but honestly I think they translated into the poppier side of their music decently.

[Wumbo]

hi gaiz i not doin these n-e-more bc i h8 u all fuk dis place

lol no jk arpil fills

oh god i hate it

Ight, so if we can be real for a second on one of the worst days of the year to go on the Internet, I've been getting hypothetical complaints from people saying that 2001 wasn't recent enough for them! What's a guy to do? It's almost as though I'll have to pick the most recent year I possibly can and go with...

2012

We're revisiting the last completed year of this decade in April. Hailed as the best of the decade so far, but do the tracks hold up? We'll find out!

[Joe Biden]

HEFTY BAG?!

[Clappy]

I thought for sure 2011 was hailed as the best of the decade?  Or maybe that's just me?  

Either way, let's see if anything can top what both you and I declared the worst song of the year back when Best and Worst of Entertainment was introduced four years ago.  Can't wait to find out.

[Sweat]

23 minutes ago, Clappy said:

I thought for sure 2011 was hailed as the best of the decade?  Or maybe that's just me?  

Either way, let's see if anything can top what both you and I declared the worst song of the year back when Best and Worst of Entertainment was introduced four years ago.  Can't wait to find out.

Eh, I think 2012 makes more sense. It seemed to have even more interesting and tasteful (?) music than 2011 did. 2011 comes really close though, that's for sure.

[Katniss]

I thought 2012 was a pretty good year in music for the most part. Can't wait to see your lists!

[Wumbo]

Twenty. Fuckin'. Twelve.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGghkjpNCQ8

It was certainly a monumental year in pop music. Seriously, there are so many songs from this year that hold up, some even better than I originally thought. But we'll get to those when we get to those. Right now, let's look at the steaming turds that were either completely forgotten, or at least should have been. Yes sir, it's...

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Songs of 2012

 

Spoiler

 

 

I remember there was a time when I really liked Maroon 5. Looking back, their music on the whole wasn't anything special, but every now and again I think they really knocked it out of the park. And that combined with all their other stuff ranging from good to okay made me a fan all through the 2000s.

Then their Overexposed album hit, and they just... stopped... being good. Like, even remotely.

10. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa

 

 

Maroon 5's entire Overexposed album was comprised of songs that I originally considered "harmless". Certainly not top Maroon 5 tier, but nothing I could get personally offended over, either. But as time has passed, the songs just kept getting worse and worse to me. I mean, take a look at this horseshit.

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you

 

Okay, ignoring the incredibly flimsy "payphone" metaphor that doesn't hold up even remotely today, this song just doesn't have any stakes. Maybe if it went more in-depth on Levine's situation instead of spouting cliché after tired cliché, then this whole "payphone" thing could be justified. But as is, it holds water about as well as a slashed butterfly net. I just can't get emotionally invested about spending "change" on someone without more context regarding the situation. Also, listen to this video. It hates the song even more than I do, so much so that it doesn't even want to display it.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7912889

Whaaat? I can't hear you amidst the confusing plot.

 

This song is so ridiculously confused, but that's to say nothing of Wiz Khalifa's part, which is by far the worst part of this already clumsy song. I hear nothing from Wiz Khalifa's rap verse except "rap verses in pop songs are hip and we should use one" coming from the "creative" team behind this awful wasteland of music. It doesn't even sound like he's in the same song.

Swish
What a shame, coulda got picked
Had a really good game but you missed your last shot

 

What the hell are you talking about, Wiz? Are you shooting down your ex-girlfriend or trying to comfort your buddy who lost out on his draft pick?

"Payphone", put simply, is just a song that was never fully realized. Maybe if it was re-written and re-done it could have been better, but as it stands, it's a complete mess. And there's no amount of change that can fix it now.

Spoiler

 

Say this about "Payphone", though - at least I got a feel of what it was trying to do. This song, meanwhile... god, why?

9. "One More Night" - Maroon 5

 

 

Okay, first off, I know that this was ranked way higher on my 2013 list. I refer you to my statement that the songs off of Overexposed got progressively worse for me over time. Folks, we've reached the bottom of the pit for this song. I just... I don't ever want to hear this trash again.

Like I said, "Payphone", while being incredibly clumsy in its execution, at least had a purpose. It didn't convey an emotional message at all, but it certainly meant to. This song is just howling pop music executive madness. If "Moves Like Jagger" was sellout Maroon 5 at their best, this is sellout Maroon 5 at their very worst. It is the definition of pop mush.

I honestly can't think of much more to say about this song. There really is zero replay value to it. It's that toxic combination of boring and obnoxious - which I shall henceforth refer to as "borenoxious". Hold me to that.

But yeah- the only other thing to say about this song is that there's nothing more to say about it. This could play absolutely anywhere and it wouldn't fit in, because it doesn't know what it wants to be. All I know is that I couldn't take one more night of listening to this.

 

Spoiler

 

Oh, I wish this song was borenoxious. Instead, it takes waay too much inspiration from the latter half of that word.

8. "Want U Back" - Cher Lloyd

 

 

Yep, remember this song? Well, it's back! And now we can all sit back and reminisce over the time when we gave a petulant, spoiled brat the mic and let her display every single ugly thought she was considering at that moment. Well, more so than your average pop star, anyway.

I've always looked at 2012 as sort of the older brother of 2011. More controlled, more mature, and overall more refined. But it's songs like this that make me remember that 2012 had an ugly streak too. An ugly, mean, bitchy streak. And the face of that streak was Cher Lloyd and this song, "Want U Back", in which she berates her ex-lover for... being broken up with... by her.

Look, the only possible defense I can think of for this song is that it's meant to be from the perspective of an unlikeable brat, and y'know, you could consider that parody or whatever, I guess. But the fact is that it still sounds rancid. Weird Al does parody, and I can still listen to his songs no problem. I can't bring myself to listen to this for very long.

The fact is, a parody of bitchiness still begets bitchiness. So if that was the intention, fair enough, but it doesn't make the song any less unlistenable. And I think it's safe to say that after this crossover hit, no one wanted Cher Lloyd back.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7902958

Helicopters...  I... alright, whatever.

 

Spoiler

 

 

You know, it's funny. A lot of people complain about Train's descent into madness come the turn of the decade, but the weird lyrical choices have always been there.

She never compromises
Loves babies and surprises
Wears high heels when she exercises

 

Just these extraneous details that are obviously only there to try and come up with an extraneous rhyme- that's always been part of Train's aesthetic. But say what you will about early Train: there's still a certain level of earnestness to it. It feels like real people wrote it, and not aliens from another planet trying to discover how us humans talk and interact.

What I'm getting at here is that "Drive By" sucks for a multitude of reasons.

7. "Drive By" - Train

 

 

I... just... I... what braindead monkey wrote this?!

Yes, yes, I know- it was rhetorical... *sigh*

Okay, actually I'm going to call bullshit on that fact. No human wrote this, because no human thinks this way. I swear, this was written by an alien whose only exposure to our human life was listening to the band Train, and all they gathered from the band's music is that humans speak in really convoluted metaphors.

And yes, the weird lyrical choices were always there, but they weren't every single line. Every line of this wretched song hurts me, from the bizarre drive-by metaphor to the two-ply hefty bag, to the love of Pat Monahan going... viral... WHO WROTE THIS?!

Train had another song out this year, "50 Ways to Say Goodbye", but I was much more forgiving of that one because it was conceived under the pretense that it was a joke song. Not a particularly funny joke, but harmless enough. This, though... what is the point of this song? If your big, sweeping statement in the chorus is "this is not a drive by", you have to back that shit up. But no, there's just bad lyric after bad lyric and it's all one big mess. I can't even parse exactly what's wrong with this song because there is so much wrong with it. And if I were to sit here and dissect every bad line of this song, I'd never make it out alive. It's enough to wish that Pat Monahan would get run over by a crappy purple Scion, so we wouldn't be subject to this gibbering nonsense any longer. Next.

Spoiler

 

 

Oh... this one's gonna hurt.

If you know anything about me, you'll know that I love Kelly Clarkson's music. She is by far my favourite American Idol (not that that's a big competition in itself, but I digress). Her music at its best has been provocative, emotional, and timeless. Her music at its worst? A song like this one.

6. "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" - Kelly Clarkson

 

 

I realize that disparaging Kelly Clarkson for writing a self-empowerment anthem is a bit like kicking a puppy, but she can do much, much, better than this. And she has. She's had songs that have crossed oceans of emotion through her powerful voice and her lyrical choices. This, though?

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7905945

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Could you pick a more clichéd line? Did you even try?

And that's what kind of pisses me off the most about this song. Kelly Clarkson's presence in our pop world is so ubiquitous that we'll just hand success to her on a silver platter no matter what stomach-churning crap she churns out. so she knows she can make songs like this, and just put no thought behind the lyrical content. That's exactly what happened.

Fuck it, she proves that she hasn't lost all creativity and passion on this very album. Here's her song "Dark Side":

 

Guess what? This song didn't make the year-end chart this year. Do you know how much of a disappointment it is that I can't talk about this gem on my Top 10 list, but I have to suffer through one of the most hackneyed, rushed lyric jobs ever written? That almost kills me. It almost does, but it doesn't. I'd like to say it makes me stronger, but fuck it, I'm not stooping to that level. I shall remain weak and powerless! And be proud of it. I wonder why there aren't more songs written like that?

 

Spoiler

 

 

It has certainly been a successful decade for Drake so far. He's had just this continuing tornado of success sweeping through the years since 2009, with single after single... well, not topping the charts, but y'know, being present. It's still worthwhile to congratulate him as one of the most prolific rappers of our time.

What I'm trying to say is, with all these Drake songs gaining popularity, it's only inevitable that you would get a sad ripoff every once in a while. Ladies and gentlemen, Kurt Cobain.

 

Sorry, sorry- that's "Kirko Bangz". What, ripping off one artist wasn't good enough for you?

5. "Drank in My Cup" - Kirko Bangz

 

 

This was Kirko Bangz's (god, does that name piss me off) first successful hit, and honestly it's a shame, because if you start off your career as a blatant copycat of a much more successful rapper's style, where can you go from there except down? Yeah, believe it or not, Kirko Bangz never had another hit. Can't imagine why.

It's just... wow, somebody really wanted the glory and fame that Drake had. The unfortunate thing is that you have to have the same skills and charisma as Drake for that to happen. Somehow, I'm not getting that with this guy.

I done came down, came up
Slow pitch, change up
Same hood, same style, same drink, same cup

 

Say this for him at least: he's certainly mastered the art of sounding like he doesn't care what he's rapping about like Drake has. So, why should we?

Of all the rap songs that came out this year, this one feels the most like dead air. I don't think there was ever an attempt to be distinctive, or interesting, or clever, or even memorable. Just a filler song for the radio when Tyga's music is getting too interesting for you. To say any more about this song would be to give off the illusion that the song itself has any more to say. I simply can't pretend like it does.

 

Spoiler

 

I'd just like to remind everyone that there was a time when One Direction was one of the worst things on the planet. And to fully appreciate an artist, you have to understand where they came from. Rounding out the top 10 of this year-end chart, here are five upstanding young men from England who desperately want to bone your daughter.

4. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction

 

 

This song leaves me feeling icky. Who the hell starts out a song directed at teenage girls with "you're insecure"? That is a ridiculously cruel way to start out your song. I mean, it's weirdly genius- but it's cruel all the same.

"You don't know you're beautiful"- I don't have to explain what's wrong with this song, do I? There's the possibility that maybe it was originally a cute song that just got molded into this secretly hateful ballad, but honestly my cynical self kind of refuses to believe that. This was written to target girls' feelings of insecurity in the most catchy, up-tempo pop way possible. I mean, they straight up say that this girl's insecurity makes her beautiful! That's some kind of vicious cycle you're pulling, bros.

Knowing what I do about One Direction now, however, I just kind of feel sorry for them, because they seem to be nice guys overall, and it stands to reason that they were roped into this being their forever biggest hit. On the other hand, though, they did sing it, so they are partly to blame.

I just can't get over how bro-douchey this song sounds. I don't hear anything from this song except five guys who want to get in your pants. And if that was the intention, then... well, mission accomplished. Who am I to determine what teenage girls like in their music?

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7906138

*sigh* Dreamy, I guess.

 

Spoiler

 

Okay, so your first question might actually be why this isn't number 1.

3. "Birthday Cake" - Rihanna ft. Chris Brown

 

 

I... look, this is still a godawful, terrible song, and we don't need to have the distraction of two songs that are somehow worse than it, so let's forget about its placement for now and just focus on the song itself. How is it?

Well, it's terrible. It's always been terrible. This is the classic example of audio diarrhea for me. I remember hearing this back in 2012 and thinking it was the worst thing I've ever heard. And... well... it's not anymore, but again, not focusing on that right now.

This song is like a perfect storm of madness and everything that is bad in music. Annoying repetition, two artists that are most reprehensible when thrusting their egos, one of the artists beating up the other singing about "giving it to her in the worst way"- it's almost like this was all planned to be the Worst Song of All Time™. And I guess that's why I can't place it at #1. It's just too perfectly bad for me to hate the most out of all the 2012 songs. I'm not falling for your tricks, Rihanna!

But yes, this is still a rancid, unlistenable piece of trash that should have been left on the cutting board. It offers nothing new about Rihanna or Chris Brown as artists, it's annoying, it's problematic- like I said, a perfect storm. "Birthday Cake" is a song that really makes me crave a slice of pie.

 

Pop music ruins everything.

 

Spoiler

 

All right, so what two songs that came out this year could possibly have been worse than "Birthday Cake"? Well, one of the saddest things to see in pop music is squandered potential. While "Birthday Cake" is a special kind of bad, it's not exactly what you'd call a sellout track. It's a clusterfuck, but it's an earnest clusterfuck. It wantonly desires to pierce your eardrums and numb your brains.

Ladies and gentlemen... this is a sellout track.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7912152

I can't even deal.

2. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj

 

 

I remember back in 2012, I used to have this huge hate-on for Nicki Minaj. As I've grown older and, hopefully, wiser, I've realized that a lot of that hatred was misplaced, and I've grown to appreciate the weird and wacky flavour that Nicki brings to the pop scene. But this isn't weird or wacky. It's... it's... borenoxious. Man, where was this word when I needed it in previous years?

But yeah, it's a blatant sellout. When Nicki Minaj crosses over into pop like this, she shaves off 90% of her personality to do so. Seriously, what the hell is this chorus?

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7912840

It sounds like she's singing something for the Disney Channel, for Christ's sake.

Look, if you don't like Nicki Minaj's music, that's fine. I get where you're coming from. I was there, man. But even if you don't like her music, you have to know the difference between authentic Nicki Minaj and phony baloney Nicki Minaj. This is wasted potential at its most heinous, and it's honestly cringeworthy to see such a dynamic artist stoop to this level. And I don't even think being higher than a motherfucker would help me to appreciate this.

 

Spoiler

 

Okay, I'm a big man. I can admit when I've made mistakes, and therefore learn from them. Boy oh boy, did I learn something compiling this list.

First off, I was too hard on "Party Rock Anthem".

 

Not extremely unfair, mind you, but unfair enough that it probably didn't deserve to be on 2011's worst list, Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it's obnoxious. Yes, it has little to no redeeming qualities. But at the end of the day, I conclude that I was too fixated on this song to really take a look at the real enemy of 2011. And in a monumental year like 2012, I can't make that mistake twice.

Let the record show that this song is a metric fuckton worse than "Party Rock Anthem", and also worse than anything else on this list. Here we go.

1. "Sexy and I Know It" - LMFAO

 

 

I... I don't even know what to say. What did I say when I refused to put it on my 2011 worst list?

"At least with 'Sexy and I Know It' you could find maybe one or two funny lines"

 

Well, my definition of "funny" has certainly changed over the years. I wonder which lines I was thinking of? Was it this one?

And when I'm at the beach
I'm in my speedo tryna tan my cheeks

 

This one?

I got passion in my pants
And I ain't afraid to show it

 

Or maybe this monstrosity:

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah
Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

 

Yeah, this is the type of humour that an immature kid would find funny. Hell, this is the type of humour that an immature kid would write. But these are two grown men, which is perhaps the saddest thing about this song.

In a way I almost weirdly respect it for just how deep it digs a hole for our two vocalists here, SkyBlu and RedFoo. How can you ever be expected to be taken seriously as an artist again if you willingly release this as a song and it becomes a hit? Not that I think being taken seriously was a huge priority for either of these numb-nuts.

"Sexy and I Know It", especially in 2012, exists on its own realm of badness. It's incompetent, it's lazy, it's annoying, and it's some of the most immature drivel from some of the most immature, drivelling idiots. There's nothing sexy or funny or provocative or worth listening to in this song, and with this closing paragraph I propose we forget that LMFAO was ever a thing, forever. I thank you in advance for making this possible.

 

 

[Katniss]

lmao I didn't even know Drank in My Cup made the year-end chart. The only reason I know about that song is because of Rap Critic...but yeah, Kirko Bangz is a mediocre Drake ripoff.

Definitely agree with your number one chance. I can find some level of dumb fun in Party Rock Anthem but Sexy and I Know it is just so obnoxiously stupid.

[Joe Biden]

10. So fucking boring

9. If Payphone is a testament to how boring Maroon 5 can be, then this is a testament to how irritating Maroon 5 can be.

8. This song pisses me off to every extent. It's just a lame attempt at a love song and I honestly hate how bratty the lyrics sound. I honestly do not see what homestuck likes about this song, it's completely awful. Cher Lloyd may want me back, but I don't know if I want her back on the charts after this song.

7. But Wumbo! Why would you hate this song? Pat Monahan is just expressing his love for you! After all, he brought you a Hefty bag to put your love in! He even said that his love for you went viral! Like, "1 million YouTube views" viral! Please don't sue him!

 

All seriousness though, this song completely blows. The lyrics are pretty corny in a bad way and it's honestly become a big joke for me now. A big joke with no funny punchline.

6. Not completely bad, but it's the worst I've ever heard from Kelly Clarkson. And that's saying a lot since she's a very talented artist.

5. Never heard this song and artist at all. I heard a lot of songs in 2012, but even I haven't heard of this boring dreck either. That's all I can say about this song. It's completely boring. Even more boring than Drake's boring songs.

4. They said I'm insecure and that's just how I'm feeling listening to this song. It could be because I haven't been listening to a lot of One Direction hits, but I think this is still one of the worst hits they ever made.

3. A complete blow to Rihanna's reputation, though I can see the blame going to Chris Brown and that godawful production in the background. This song is a mess. If this is gonna be my birthday cake, then it's gonna be a pretty crappy birthday.

2. Never been a really big fan of Nicki Minaj to start with, but yeah, this song is pretty stupid.

1. THANK YOU for realizing how shittier this sounds than Party Rock Anthem. While I can sort of enjoy "Party Rock Anthem" ironically, this song I can't even defend or listen to ironically. It's shitty and I know it.

[President Squidward]

Birthday Cake is a guilty pleasure of mine. 

Edited April 22, 2016 by President Squidward

[kev]

8 hours ago, President Squidward said:

Birthday Cake is a guilty pleasure of mine. 

Hell, Starships is a guilty pleasure of mine... 

In all seriousness, great choices as always. "One More Night" deserves to be higher. Like very high. Higher than a motherfucker.

Edited April 23, 2016 by kevin_ng2010

[Clappy]

For #5, I would be more pissed off at the fact that he ain't trying to love you baby, just fuck you instead with this drink in his cup.  But yeah still relatively boring none the less.

[Wumbo]

Like I said before, 2012 was a monumental year. So let's take a look at the Top 10 of these monuments, shall we? It's...

Wumbo's Top 10 Songs of 2012

Spoiler

 

 

Bro-country wasn't quite in full swing by 2012, but the country scene was definitely getting noticeably bro-ier on the whole. When country music turns to that dark side, one thing that gives me solace is knowing that there are ladies out there picking up the slack.

10. "Blown Away" - Carrie Underwood

 

Carrie Underwood's got talent, damn it, and it's high time it was recognized by finally putting her on a Top 10 list. At her best, she's the perfect harmony between pop and country music. That's what shows up here in "Blown Away". This song is beautifully composed and performed.

Carrie Underwood, for lack of a better word, carries the story of an alcoholic, abusive father getting swept up in a tornado while his daughter hides in the cellar. It sounds overly ridiculous on paper, but like I said, Carrie sells it. My favourite part of this song is the pre-chorus, where Carrie shows off best what restraint can do with her vocal performance. It's also lyrically the best part of the song, melding the natural disaster and the ongoing tragedy of the household.

There's not enough rain in Oklahoma
To wash the sins out of that house
There's not enough wind in Oklahoma
To rip the nails out of the past

It's a great song. And it comes off looking even better when you see what you have to compare it with in modern country music. But as long as there are artists like Carrie Underwood in the world, country music's death may be a long ways away.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Man oh man, there just ain't no stoppin' Kanye, is there? Love him or hate him, he just keeps on trekkin' and evolving with his music. Personally, I love it. But I can see how some people might be turned off by his brash personality both on and off the record. I kinda feel bad for those people, though,bbecause it's clearly evident that 'Ye not ready to leave.

AND JAY NOT READY TO LEAVE

9. "Niggas in Paris" - Jay-Z and Kanye West

 

Back in 2012, I gushed over "No Church in the Wild" and prayed for it to be as big as this song was. But looking back, this song being the bigger hit was the correct choice. I still think "Church" is the better song, but "Paris" is clearly the more dynamic and interesting one. Kanye and Jay-Z both genuinely sell their art in both their parts.

And as it always is with Kanye, the production on this song is superb. It's a head-banger every time I turn it on. And that's just the main beat. That's to say nothing of the tiger growling, or the out-of-nowhere Blades of Glory reference, which... oh, god, I love it so much. Only Kanye, the Happy Gilmore fanatic himself, would stoop to that level. And we're all better off for it.

This song is a joy to hear whenever I get the opportunity. Amidst the production, it's a song with a very simple message: "We are awesome." And they are awesome, both of them. This song just makes you wanna go GORILLAS... whatever that means. It's provocative. Gets the people goin'.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I told you, 'Ye ain't ready to leave. That includes this list.

8. "Mercy" - Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz

 

Say what you will about the current state of rap, but one thing that it still very good at is displaying massive egos in the most hypnotizingly disgusting but strangely charming ways possible. Who better to front a song of this nature than Kanye West?

Not to say he's the only good thing about this track, however. Funnily enough, everyone on the track holds their own; even 2 Chainz, delivering some clever lines.

Horse power, horse power
All this Polo on I got horse power

Good job, 2 Chainz. Good work.

But once again, for me, the success of this song falls squarely on the production. That chorus just keeps on sucking me right back into the song, especially that damn awesome dancehall sample.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7915085

As much as I love "Paris" and how much it commands attention, it ultimately does boil down to two egos borderline goofing off. "Mercy" demands you to shut up and listen. It's a fantastic track with four great verses and a killer hook to tie it all together. Swerve.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Usher was one of the biggest stars of the 2000s, but he had some trouble shifting his music over to this decade. While I still like a lot of his singles from 2010 and 2011, many of them lacked the same punch that most of his hits from the previous decade had. But y'know, wait one year and you'll get what's comin' to ya.

 

"Climax" was a song that grabbed me from the first time I heard it. It probably had some of the biggest emotion Usher dared to display on a track. How can you even top such a monumental song?

 

Ah, yes. The more SpongeBob connections I can make, the more I can justify my existence on this site. Anyway...

7. "Scream" - Usher

 

So I get that on the surface, it may seem weird to put this song over the critical darling that was "Climax". But on the other hand, while "Climax" I appreciated, "Scream" I loved. There's simply more replay value to this song. It is a tour de force of greatness, sexiness, danciness, screaminess. What's not to love?

I haven't been this captivated by Usher's ability to create a great, sexy dance song in a long time, but this restored my faith in him tenfold. Four years later and it still holds up as a great song to play at the clubs and to jam out to.

I feel like this decade, before this moment, has been missing a truly great Usher dance track. Well, 2012 gave us one, and we ate it up like the ear candy it was. Now I'm just waiting for another Usher track as great as this one to cap off the decade.

 

You can do better than that.

Bottom line: Usher's presence with great music is one that is sorely missed this decade, and therefore we need to hold on to every morsel we can get. It's Usher, baby.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

...I don't know what to tell you guys, but I... I really don't like this song anymore.

It's not a bad song, I guess, but... wow, this was a 2012 song in the sense that its longevity remained in 2012. Do you really hear people mentioning this in the same breath as Carly Rae, or Gotye, or hell, even "Gangnam Style"? The song may have been big at the time, but over time I think people have swiftly forgotten about it. And honestly, rightly so. It's kinda clunky, kinda slow, kinda meandering... this really isn't a hit song to base a career on.

So, with all that said, let me take you to a song that I have sorely neglected over the years since 2012 from this same band. and let me say, "no more". Let's give recognition where recognition is due.

6. "Some Nights" - fun.

 

Now this right here is a song to base a career on. But it took a while to grow on me. I think my biggest stepping stone was that autotune guitar solo vocal near the end, but now that I've learned to appreciate this song, that part just makes it all the better.

Because this is a monumental song that dares to take risks. It's damn operatic, is what it is. Listen to the thumping of the drums. The vocal overlaying. The powerful lyrics and delivery.

I always thought that Nate Ruess's voice was a bit wasted on "We Are Young", but "Some Nights" takes every capability he has and works magic with it. It knows when to have quiet moments, when to have loud booming moments, and yes, when to have autotune guitar solo singing.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7918116

Oh, it feels good to give in to the madness.

This song is a delight every time I hear it. It makes my heart swell with passion and enjoyment, and it's a wonderful roller coaster ride from beginning to end. God bless you, lowercase fun with a period at the end. Now all you have to do is get a less pretentious band name. Seriously, what's up with that?

 

 

Spoiler

 

Yeah, so you've got "Some Nights", the big, operatic, critic snobbery-prone hit. But at the end of the day, I know that we all enjoy a crowd pleaser. That's why they call 'em "crowd pleasers", they please the crowd. And no matter how many commercials you've heard this in, you know you love it. Every single time.

5. "Everybody Talks" - Neon Trees

 

You already know that I love pop songs with energy and a fast pace. This song is just what the doctor ordered for 2012. It's an incredibly fun song booming with energy, and really, isn't that all anyone wants from a pop song?

Seriously, I can't think of much more to say about this one exceptit pumps me up and gets me dancing. It's just a fun tune to jam out to, and I'm happy that songs like this can still exist not only in the pop universe, but in the rock universe as well. I wish Neon Trees still had hit songs to this day, but maybe we were only meant to get a taste of their accomplishments within the context of Billboard. Maybe they were meant to be a fleeting talent. Regardless, I'm happy this song is a part of my life and I hope it can be a great part of yours too.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Sometimes what we need from our music is that ability to take us to a different place. Life is hard, what with all the doldrums that we have to deal with but don't really want to. Sometimes we just need to go somewhere far away. Like outer space!

4. "Lights" - Ellie Goulding

 

All right, so it's never been officially confirmed that this song is about outer space. But it sure feels like it, doesn't it? It's definitely got this ethereal feel that you don't really see being played up these days, even among our kookier pop stars. But "Lights" is even different in that context, as it evoked moreso a dreamlike feel. Which makes sense, as Ellie Goulding has gone on record to say that this song mostly deals with her inability to sleep without any lights on. Yeah, she was that kid.

Pictured: Ellie Goulding in her youth.

But y'know, making fun of childhood fears is a pretty low blow, and if simple things like that bring about great songs like this, then who am I to complain at all? Maybe more superstars should sing about their childhood fears! Or maybe Ellie Goulding's just so good at it that we can't handle another similar song.

It's a wonderfully crafted piece of music, giving off the dreamlike qualities that are found in some of the best of pop music. When Blondie chooses to cover your song on their concert tour, you're taking a step in the right direction. These lights shine brightly.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Drake's career so far this decade has been riddled with songs about how great he is. These songs range from good to terrible, but even if they were all good, it's nice to see Drake's soft, sensitive side once in a while. Hell, it's part of his personality at this point.

3. "Take Care" - Drake ft. Rihanna

 

Showing off one's sensitive side doesn't work well for many rappers, mainly because they're really bad at it and confuse sensitivity for "I'm really, really butthurt that you won't suck my dick". But we all know that being sensitive to his own feelings and others is one of Drake's strong suits in music, and I think he does it just enough and balances it out with his other songs that he doesn't come off as too much of a softie, but still shows he can display more than two dimensions to his rapping personality.

And this song is the perfect example of that. It has a great use of sampling and appropriating ideas from other songs, and it all comes together wonderfully. And then there's Rihanna.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7920470

I know Rihanna can get annoying due to her sheer omnipresence in the pop world, but damn, when she hits, she hits hard. This is easily one of her best performances, exercising a sense of restraint, which honestly looks good on her and is something she should use more often. it adds an extra layer of depth that the song needs.

It just goes to show that two artists of today can come together and make a really mature, emotional song. Maybe these two should collaborate more often!

 

A lot can change in four years...

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

I actually didn't completely buy into the Adele craze right away. It took me a few songs before I truly appreciated her as an artist. Until this following song, I kind of viewed her as some Norah Jones-type singer that didn't really pique my interest. I've come around, of course, but that was mainly because of one song. And here it is.

2. "Set Fire to the Rain" - Adele

 

After "Rolling in the Deep" and "Someone Like You", "Set Fire to the Rain" definitely felt like more of a standard pop ballad. But honestly, it's Adele that takes this to the next level, as she always does. Put in the hands of a less competent singer, this song might be tepid and dull. But Adele takes the structure of the song and just powers through it with her voice. And honestly, I think this is one of her best performances. You can feel the emotion in every line. From the small emotions to the big emotions.

And like I said, this was the song that finally made me take Adele seriously. My family bought her album, and honestly, it's still as amazing as it was back then. Adele's got a great sense of soul in her and she know how to use it for her breakup songs. It's the reason she's always mistaken for being older than she actually is, because she sounds wise beyond her years, even in her pettiest-sounding of songs. I kind of appreciate that Adele hasn't changed much through her career. It's nice to have a constant that will keep blowing you away with each new single she releases. But if I had to pick one that holds the most replay value to me, it would be this one. It's just a masterpiece of pop. All hail Queen Adele.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Okay, I have to get this out of the way right now or it's going to hang over me for the rest of this review. Here goes...

Thank.

You.

Glee.

 

I know, I know! It sounds crazy, right? What could I possibly owe to Glee, one of the most notoriously wretched shows of all time, a show that singlehandedly tried to ruin both TV and music for everyone? Well... you see, Glee had a bigger influence in 2012 than you might think.

 

Some people view 2012 as a weird and wacky year, but really, two of the biggest fluke hits this year were hits almost entirely because of Glee. Glee was responsible for the success of the song you see above there, but more importantly, it is responsible for the success of this track, which is, in my opinion, the best hit song of 2012. And I bet you all know exactly what it is.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7920556

Gotye, you weird, wonderful, wacktastic bastard.

1. "Somebody That I Used to Know" - Gotye ft. Kimbra

 

I really tried not to pick something so obvious, but honestly the entire retrospective this song kept staring me in the face. There's no way I could possibly put anything over this. No matter how it got popular, it's still the weirdest hit of the year, and the greatest.

I feel like the public didn't even know what to do when this song hit #1. I certainly didn't, except rejoice. This is the best kind of fluke hit: one from an artist who is smart, talented, creative, and doesn't conform to our pop sensibilities... no matter how much we try to make him conform. Ughh.

The best part of the song, though, is Kimbra, which was a great idea to have on the song in the first place. The second person's perspective adds new depth to the song. Breakups suck for everyone involved, and it's nice to hear both sides of the argument. Really helps to put Gotye in his place, too. As if being naked and covered in paint wasn't degrading enough.

But no, I love this song. Absolutely love it. It's held up over the years because it really doesn't belong in a pop setting in the first place. So you can't really call it dated because it doesn't conform to what's popular. It's a wonderful track that will carry on in my heart, and hopefully in yours too. And if not... well, as least it was a song that you used to know. And that's still pretty damn great.

 

 

Full List:

Spoiler

 

1. "Somebody That I Used to Know" - Gotye ft. Kimbra

2. "Set Fire to the Rain" - Adele

3. "Take Care" - Drake ft. Rihanna

4. "Lights" - Ellie Goulding

5. "Everybody Talks" - Neon Trees

6. "Some Nights" - fun.

7. "Scream" - Usher

8. "Mercy" - Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz

9. "Niggas in Paris" - Jay-Z and Kanye West

10. "Blown Away" - Carrie Underwood

11. "Rolling in the Deep" - Adele

12. "Glad You Came" - The Wanted

13. "Climax" - Usher

14. "Work Out" - J. Cole

15. "Rumour Has It" - Adele

16. "Give Your Heart a Break" - Demi Lovato

17. "Where Have You Been" - Rihanna

18. "Let's Go" - Calvin Harris ft. Ne-Yo

19. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen

20. "The Motto" - Drake ft. Lil Wayne

21. "Titanium" - David Guetta ft. Sia

22. "Someone Like You" - Adele

23. "Moves Like Jagger" - Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera

24. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida ft. Sia

25. "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" - Pink

26. "Young, Wild & Free" - Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa ft. Bruno Mars

27. "The One That Got Away" - Katy Perry

28. "Good Girl" - Carrie Underwood

29. "Good Time" - Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen

30. "Wide Awake" - Katy Perry

31. "So Good" - B.o.B

32. "Gangnam Style" - PSY

33. "Ass Back Home" - Gym Class Heroes ft. Neon Hitch

34. "International Love" - Pitbull ft. Chris Brown

35. "Work Hard, Play Hard" - Wiz Khalifa

36. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" - Taylor Swift

37. "Fly Over States" - Jason Aldean

38. "Red Solo Cup" - Toby Keith

39. "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" - Eli Young Band

40. "Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)" - Ne-Yo

41. "Die Young" - Ke$ha

42. "I Don't Want This Night to End" - Luke Bryan

43. "It's Time" - Imagine Dragons

44. "Adorn" - Miguel

45. "Pound the Alarm" - Nicki Minaj

46. "Diamonds" - Rihanna

47. "Burn It down" - Linkin Park

48. "Cashin' Out" - Ca$h Out

49. "Hard to Love" - Lee Brice

50. "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" - Train

51. "Love You Like a Love Song" - Selena Gomez & the Scene

52. "As Long as You Love Me" - Justin Bieber ft. Big Sean

53. "Good Feeling" - Flo Rida

54. "Come Over" - Kenny Chesney

55. "Home" - Phillip Phillips

56. "Feel So Close" - Calvin Harris

57. "Turn Up the Music" - Chris Brown

58. "Pontoon" - Little Big Town

59. "Part of Me" - Katy Perry

60. "We Are Young" - fun. ft. Janelle Monae

61. "Ho Hey" - The Lumineers

62. "Paradise" - Coldplay

63. "Domino" - Jessie J

64. "Boyfriend" - Justin Bieber

65. "Somethin' 'Bout a Truck" - Kip Moore

66. "Without You" - David Guetta ft. Usher

67. "Don't Wake Me Up" - Chris Brown

68. "Stereo Hearts" - Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine

69. "Turn Me On" - David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj

70. "Not Over You" - Gavin DeGraw

71. "Take a Little Ride" - Jason Aldean

72. "Heart Attack" - Trey Songz

73. "You da One" - Rihanna

74. "We Run the Night" - Havana Brown ft. Pitbull

75. "It Will Rain" - Bruno Mars

76. "We Found Love" - Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris

77. "Dance (A$$)" - Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj

78. "A Thousand Years" - Christina Perri

79. "Back in Time" - Pitbull

80. "Wanted" - Hunter Hayes

81. "Brokenhearted" - Karmin

82. "5 O'Clock" - T-Pain ft. Wiz Khalifa and Lily Allen

83. "Springsteen" - Eric Church

84. "Too Close" - Alex Clare

85. "Party Rock Anthem" - LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock

86. "No Lie" - Drake ft. 2 Chainz

87. "I Won't Give Up" - Jason Mraz

88. "Drunk On You" - Luke Bryan

89. "Whistle" - Flo Rida

90. "Rack City" - Tyga

91. "Payphone" - Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa

92. "One More Night" - Maroon 5

93. "Want U Back" - Cher Lloyd

94. "Drive By" - Train

95. "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" - Kelly Clarkson

96. "Drank in My Cup" - Kirko Bangz

97. "What Makes You Beautiful" - One Direction

98. "Birthday Cake" - Rihanna ft. Chris Brown

99. "Starships" - Nicki Minaj

100. "Sexy and I Know It" - LMFAO

 

 

[Katniss]

Totally saw your #1 pick coming, but that doesn't even matter because it's such a good song. 

Cant really disagree with the rest of your top 10 list; you've got some good picks, especially the top 5.

Thoughts on:

Glad You Came

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Die Young

All of the Katy Perry songs 

Titanium

Give Your Heart A Break

Edited April 24, 2016 by Katniss

[Steel Sponge]

On your Worst List, I'll admit that "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" hasn't aged well for me. I used to really like it, but for me, it's just...okay, but not "Drive By" levels of bad at least. On your Best List, all I'm going to say is that "Somebody That I Used to Know" is an excellent choice, while it's probably not my #1 best from this year.

And while we're at it with what year of this decade had the best year-end list....

Spoiler

I'll say that either 2013 or 2015 was the best for me.

Also, thoughts on:

So Good
Springsteen
Let's Go
Adorn
Home
Where Have You Been
Good Time

Edited April 24, 2016 by Steel Sponge

[Joe Biden]

Alright, here are the opinions for the songs I'm familiar with.

9. IT'S PROVOCATIVE. GETS THE PEOPLE GOING.

Enough said. It's one of my favorite Kanye West songs/collaborations. I just wish the video was epilepsy friendly because there's something I really love about that synth trill at the beginning that the album version doesn't have.

6. Yeah, this would probably still trump "We Are Young" as my favorite fun. song. It is a fun song. *gets tomato thrown at*

5. I'm really glad to see people appreciating alternative pop music like this in 2012.

4. Hearing this yesterday on my way to jazz band practice really rekindled my love for this song. Really makes me want to put on this song, take some ecstasy, and dance in the lights.

2. While I still think "Skyfall" is the most superior Adele song, this song is definitely up there. It's a pretty powerful song.

1. Somebody that I USED TO KNOOOOOOOOOOOW! I absolutely have no quarrels with this song being the #1 on both your list and the year-end chart. It's a pretty awesome song and Gotye is a fucking genius.

 

Now that that's settled, what are your opinions on:

50 Ways to Say Goodbye

A Thousand Years

Back in Time

Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

Boyfriend

Burn It Down

Call Me Maybe

Domino

Feel So Close

Gangnam Style

Good Feeling

Ho Hey

It's Time

Moves Like Jagger

Paradise

Red Solo Cup

The Adele songs that are not the ones on your Top 10

The Motto

Too Close

We Found Love

Whistle

 

Sorry for the shit-ton of requests. It's not my fault there are so many familiar songs in this year.