Wumbo's Somewhat Informed Opinions on Music

[Wumbo]

Sorry for the slightly late reply, but I was very busy yesterday. Here's this week's 5:

Work Hard, Play Hard - Wiz Khalifa

 

Ugh, not a big fan of this song. The only somewhat tolerable part for me is the chorus, and even that is basically just "I have money blah blah blah". What I dislike? I dislike the rhyming of "n*****" with "n*****", I dislike that weird "Work hard, play hard" thing at the beginning and at other parts of the song, and I dislike that this song is just another "I'm so rich" song. Not the worst I've heard, but I'm not jumping for joy, either.

Bottom Line: When it comes to music, this guy's no Wiz.
Rating: 4/10

Springsteen - Eric Church

I don't like country music. That's just an overgeneralization made by myself. But when I decided to do this blog of sorts, I decided that for it to work, I need to keep an open mind (and with the influx of country artists coming up, that's a good thing). I'm just not a big fan of country singers' voices. They have a certain drawl to them that I just don't like. But with this song, I'm willing to make an exception. It's not too country for me to dislike it, and at least it's not "cash money hoes" like a lot of songs out there. I'm not saying that this song is that great, but it's pretty good.

Bottom Line: Inoffensively decent.
Rating: 7/10

Dance Again - Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull

Pitbull just irks me. He had exactly one good song in "Give Me Everything". Every other one of the songs he's involved in shows him singing about how he's "MR. WORLDWAD" and other various creepy things like opening up one's treasure chest (what?). He also sounds and dances like a 70-year-old (check out Back In Time for a dance reference). Thank God for J-Lo. Her style never gets old. It's just a shame that she thinks that Pitbull is an artist worth collaborating with, becuse I'm not afraid to say that he brought the score of this song down by a point or two (well, that, and it sounds a lot like On the Floor).

Bottom Line: I don't know, maybe I'd dance to this song if Mr. Worldwad wasn't a part of it.
Rating: 6/10

Drunk on You - Luke Bryan

Bring on the country! Well, this song's much like that last country song I rated: Okay, but not great. I'm not really sure what else needs to be said here. It's just an average song. I'm really grasping at straws to write something here. Ah well.

Bottom Line: Maybe I need to get a little drunk to enjoy this song more.
Rating: 6/10

Good Feeling - Flo Rida

I feel like i'm committing musical blasphemy by saying this, but... I have no major gripes with Flo Rida. Sure, he shamelessly steals from other artists. But in this day and age, who doesn't? His rapping is just really average, but that's about it. This song is just okay, much like a lot of his other songs. This may be why I don't mind him sampling artists; can you imagine an entire song of just Flo Rida? It don't really "take a genius to understand" you, Flo Rida. You're just another commercialized musical whatever. Also, the random techno thing after the 3rd chorus? Completely random. But the overall song, as I've said, is just okay.

Rating: I have an average feeling that I've had before.
Rating: 6.5/10

Wow, not that great of a crop this time around. Hopefully next week will be better.

[Wumbo]

Both of Us - B.O.B. ft. Taylor Swift

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE9z4lL1UYU&ob=av3e

Taylor Swift has been impressing me lately. It's probably because the songs she's doing now aren't irritating like "Mine" and the like. Teaming up with B.O.B. was a good move, because this is a pretty good song. Not the best I've heard from either artist (check previous entries for clarification), but still a solid effort compared to most music today.

Bottom Line: Kudos to both of them.
Rating: 8/10

Brokenhearted - Karmin

When I first heard this song, I liked it. Now, I'm not entirely sure why. Her rapping is only slightlty better than Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, and the like. And then there's that annoying "Cheerio" at the end of the chorus. At least it gets progressively less annoying as the song goes on. Her singing is tolerable, I guess, but can we leave the rapping to people who actually make it sound good, like, idk, Salt n' Pepa?

Bottom Line: Not exactly broken-eared, but this rapping brings down the score a few Cheerios short of a complete breakfast.
Rating: 5/10

Drank In My Cup (no, seriously, that's the title) - Kirko Bangz

Hey look, it's a less competent Drake, if such a thing is possible with songs like "The Motto". No, but seriously, what was the motive in making this song? It can't be anything but "money". And that's why I hate this song. The autotune, the lyrics, the Hooters-style woman - it all screams "I'm gonna put out this crap because it's popular, and it makes me money." There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this piece of garbage. Take your drank and fuck off.

Bottom Line: Wumbo Bangz his head against the wall.
Rating: 1/10 (only because it's not overly terrible)

Where Have You Been - Rihanna

See, I know I went all out on Rihanna in the last post where I mentioned her, but sometimes she hits the mark. I must admit that I'm confused about her collective song messages (she hates the guy, she wants the guy, she don't need no man) but hey, at least it... it... wait who let the mosquitoes into the studio? Seriously, are some of these DJs tone-deaf? Or do they really think that Buzzing Insects no. 4 is really a musical masterpiece? The beat isn't that bad, but it does have its aforementioned rough patches. Still, pretty good for a Rihanna song.

Bottom Line: Still don't see what the buzz is about with Rihanna, but this song is okay.
Rating: 7/10

Back in Time - Mr. Worldwad

 

 

This is just a very "whatever" song for me. Pitbull sounds like he always does (perhaps he should change his name to Mr. Garglin Sandpaper). The beat's just okay, although that guitar after each verse can get tiresome. I don't think this song quite knows what it wants to be. It goes from guitar licks to those semi-creepy voices to a regular Pitbull "masterpiece". It really is all over the place, and it's not making me really want to see Men In Black III.

Bottom Line: It's time for a new career, Mr. Worldwad.
Rating: 4/10

[Wumbo]

Scream - Usher

Y'know, I was expecting more from Usher after Climax, but this song is just okay. I don't really hate it or anything, but there's nothing here to make me go "wow". Usher's had

and

songs than this, and I think this one fits somewhere in the middle. Man, I wish I had more to say. Is this why I'm not getting comments anymore?

Bottom Line: I don't want to scream in pain or excitement.
Rating: 6/10

Mercy - Kanye West ft. Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz, and a partridge in a pear tree

Ugh, what happened to Kanye West? This song is garbage. I mean, it was painful to sit through 2 minutes of it, but I just had to make it to the end to see if there was anything redeeming about this song. The only thing I can think of is that there were some parts of the song that weren't as bad as some others. But seriously, Kanye West has had

than this. (Yeah, that's right. I like Gold Digger.) But I don't even know what to make of this song. It's just annoying, from start to finish. And what's with the "enh" sound Kanye West is making in his songs now? He did it in "N***as in Paris" as well (which I may or may not review in the future). He sounds like he's constipated. I don't know, this song is just bad. There's no other way to put it.

Bottom Line: No mercy.
Rating: 1/10

Good Girl - Carrie Underwood

 

 

Man, talk about your breaths of fresh air. Carrie Underwood is one of my favourite country artists out there. The girl can really sing, as shown by this song. With all the Nicki Minajs and Rihannas, it's good to see some real talent once in a blue moon. This song is catchy, the lyrics are great, the vocals are powerful, and it's just an all-around great song. I challenge you to listen to this song and not find it stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

Bottom Line: Good girl!
Rating: 10/10

Fly Over States - Jason Aldean

After one good country song, we get this one that's just okay. Songs like these are why I don't like country: I find it boring, for the most part. While this song isn't the worst offender in the bland country category, it's nothing that makes me want to give it another listen either. It's just... there. Obviously the guy has talent, but it's just not my thing. Sorry to fans!

Bottom Line: I could pass over this song, but it's not bad.
Rating: 7/10 (decided to be generous)

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-4u9W-bns

I like to end on a high note. Good thing this song came around. While not the best song in this installment (check #3), this is a very good one. Jason Mraz fails to disappoint yet again with this one. While there's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABFtbYKW-QY&ob=av2e of his that I like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdryssUmlpE&ob=av3n, this one's great as well. (In case you haven't noticed, I prefer Mraz when he's upbeat).

Bottom Line: I won't give up on Billboard just yet.
Rating: 8/10

[Wumbo]

Seriously, does anyone even read these anymore? Oh well, it's never stopped me before.

Lights - Ellie Goulding

Wow, so apparently this song is oldish. I haven't heard it until I had to listen to it for this blog of sorts. Anyway, pretty good song. Not terribly original, but really, you can't expect too much to be original nowadays. I only wish it had just a little bit extra that would make me take notice. As it is, it's good, but not great. I've heard better songs from 2011 for sure.

Bottom Line: When it comes to brightness, you're about a 70-watt.

Rating: 7/10

Titanium - David Guetta ft. Sia

Surprise, surprise, ladies and gents: I like this Guetta song. Though I'd have to say that much of my love of it comes from the singer, not the beats. Which is pretty much the case with every Guetta song, unless he gets someone like Akon. So I'll credit Guetta for some of his singer choices, and the lyrics here are pretty good is well. Still think the beats are mediocre, though. Whatever, still a great song with Sia on board.

Bottom Line: Sia is titanium, Guetta is not.

Rating: 8.5/10

Somethin' 'Bout a Truck - Kip Moore

Look, I'll stop complaining about country music being boring if country music stops being so fucking boring. There's nothing here to make me excited about this song. Not a thing. Is there even any substance to the lyrics at all? All he says is there's somethin' 'bout this, and somethin' 'bout that. It's like "My Favorite Things" with a country sound and even less meaning. I mean, if this is what he thinks is substantial enough for his songs, how does he carry on conversations? He must be the most boring man on Earth.

Bottom Line: You know, there's somethin' 'bout trashing country music.

Rating: 3/10

Faded - Tyga ft. Lil Wayne

I don't have much to say on the matter here. I'll just say a quick prayer for the death of rap.

...

Yeah, you guys had to know I wouldn't leave it at that. Tyga is one of the most untalented people in this music business. If you're not convinced, check out one of his other http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohWDC24ZRcM. How people like this make it big in this business is really, really saddening. For the most part, I dislike Lil Wayne, but at least he had

good song. Tyga has nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing at all! Nothing at all!

Dedicated to all my Simpsons fans out there. At least one good thing came out of this piece of trash.

Bottom Line: I wish Tyga would fade away.

Rating: 0/10

PARTY ROCK! Anthem - LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennet and GoonRock

Damn, memories of last summer... Sorry, back to the song. LMFAO is my ultimate guilty pleasure band. Their songs are garbage. I know they're garbage. But for some reason, they're also... great. I think it's because LMFAO isn't meant to be taken seriously at all. They're the ultimate party rockin' band, and who can blame 'em for that? I think the fact that this infectious song still survives on the charts really says something on its own. Keep on party rockin', fellas.

One last note: Their videos are just plain hilarious.

a good and lulzy reference.

Rating: I love it, even though I shouldn't.

Rating: 9.5/10

[terminoob]

I'm not contributing anything to the discussion with this comment, but I'd just like to say that I decided to click on the link for Payphone and couldn't believe what I was watching. Like... what? Who the hell did they get to make that?

[Wumbo]

I'm not contributing anything to the discussion with this comment, but I'd just like to say that I decided to click on the link for Payphone and couldn't believe what I was watching. Like... what? Who the hell did they get to make that?

I'm not sure who made it, but I actually like it better than the actual video.

[Clappy]

Oh I still read these sir. I just don't rate them like I was doing for awhile.

Btw too...much...country music...making...my head...explode...due to...all songs...sounding...the same...

[Wumbo]

Oh I still read these sir. I just don't rate them like I was doing for awhile.

Btw too...much...country music...making...my head...explode...due to...all songs...sounding...the same...

SO THEN I MET THIS GIRL AND HER EYES WERE BLUE CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK LET'S GET IN MY TRUCK

Sad to say, it's probably only going to get worse from here. I don't know what it is with Billboard and country music.

ETA: I just thought of something. Is Kirko Bangz supposed to be a corruption of Kurt Cobain?

[dragiiin123]

IF I WAAAS BACK IN TEXAAS

[Elastic Dawg]

THE OCEANSSSS NO PLACE FER A SQUIREL

[Wumbo]

That's actually one of the better country songs.

[Cha]

WISH I WAS IN TEXAAS PRETTIEST PLACE IN THE WUURLLD

[Clappy]

I GUESS DEEP IN MA HEART, I'LL ALWAYS BE A TEXAS GURL!

[Old Man Jenkins]

All mah exes live in Texes.

[spongebobfan29]

all slodiers poretect Texas

[Wumbo]

Thank you all for the musical interlude. Now, back to the part where I give my opinions on songs.

Home - Phillip Phillips

 

 

Yeah, so American Idol's still a thing, apparently. This is the first season where I haven't seen a single episode except for part of the finale, so I know that this guy won. Pretty good song. Not amazing, but hey, at least he's making chart-topping hits, unlike Lee DeWyze (seriously, what has he done since American Idol?) or Kris Allen, or Scotty McCreery. American Idol's been pretty dull as of late, but this guy is a pretty good talent to come out of it.

Bottom Line: Home is where the heart is, and he's definitely got some heart.
Rating: 8/10

Wide Awake - Katy Perry

You know, no matter what you think of her, you've got to hand it to Katy Perry. She's had hit after hit off of that Teenage Dream album, which came out two years ago. That, in my eyes, is pretty damn impressive. Of course, I think that some songs are better than others, but that's the case with pretty much every album. This song kind of falls in the middle for me. It's not a bad song by any means, but I've heard slightly better from her. I'm just wondering if Teenage Dream will eventually have all of its songs released as singles, at the rate it's going. Seriously, more than two years, and it's still relevant. Hat's off to you, Katy Perry.

Bottom Line: Katy Perry always knows how to get my attention.
Rating: 8/10

Everybody Talks - Neon Trees

I really like this song. It's nice to hear that rock isn't completely dead. I like the lead singer's voice in particular, it reminds me of the Canadian talent http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK5R10HEerY, and that's definitely a plus. Another plus is that it's really catchy. I foresee this being stuck in my head the rest of the day. Now, this can be good or bad (e.g. having songs like

stuck in your head is bad. Oh Nelly, what happened to you?) So yeah, great song. Once again, Billboard's on a winning streak in my eyes.

Bottom Line: More people need to talk about these guys.
Rating: 9.5/10

Cashin' Out - Ca$h Out

This song and artist raise a few philosophical question. Like, was the song named after the artist or vice versa? And why can't I be bothered to care? Probably because it's just another boring rap song. It's songs like this that left rap leaving a bad taste in my mouth when I first started getting into music. This isn't one of the worst offenders, but it's still horrendously dull. And y'all probably know how I feel about dull songs by now. If you're going to make me hate your song, then make it fucking terrible, not boring. At least then I can majorly blast you in one of these reviews.

Bottom Line: Just very "whatever".
Rating: 4/10

Sexy and I Know it - LMFAO

And so we end on LMFAO again. Given that they're a fun band, I'm perfectly okay with that. Let me just tell you one thing about this song: it definitely grows on you. When it came out at first, I absolutely hated it. I hated everything it stood for (which was, I don't know, RedFoo's junk? The less said about that, the better.) But it's infectious. It's like a disease. Doctor, doctor, gimme the news, because I've got a bad case of LMFAO! Am I really using Robert Palmer lyrics to get my point across? As I've said before, this band is bad, but addicting. I dare you to find someone who doesn't sufficiently know the words to this song. (Your 70-year-old grandma doesn't count, btw. Actually, quiz her. I'm interested to hear the results.)

Bottom Line: I'm hooked and I know it.
Rating: 10/10 (and if you wanted to stop reading this blog from now on, I wouldn't be offended)

[Wumbo]

Die in Your Arms - Justin Bieber

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTwCUq9OZPg

 

Okay, I think the hating on Biebs (at least for his voice, anyway) needs to stop right about now, at least for those Backstreet Boys lovers. Why? Because he sounds exactly like them now, so hating on him would be hypocritical. Before listening to this song, if you had asked me to pick a favourite Biebs song, it would have been a lot harder. But this, to me, is the clear-cut winner. Puberty treated The Biebs well, his voice has really matured. I'm not quite as ashamed that his new album is coming out on my birthday now.

Bottom Line: If you ever decided to come back to Canada, I'd be more welcoming now.
Rating: 8/10

Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato

Wow, another good song from an artist who doesn't really appeal to me. I must have woken up on the right side of the bed this morning. Anyway, I get that this isn't much different from the songs typically generated by the Disney has-beens. But it's different enough for me to like it. Also, what has Miley Cyrus done lately, anyway? The Disney invasion ended awhile back, and I don't think Miley survived the closing ceremony. Apparently Lovato has, though. Good for her. This is better than I expected.

Bottom Line: Give these artists a break, they can sometimes come up with songs like these.
Rating: 8.5/10

Even if it Breaks Your Heart - Eli Young Band

See, this is the kind of country I like. Not too far out there with the hillbilly-esque stuff, not singing about a damn truck, and thoroughly enjoyable. I think it's the fact that it's more country rock than just flat out country that saves this song for me. Or maybe country music's just better in bands. Hell if I know. Anyway, good song regardless. Also, the title here and the previous one are eerily similar.

Bottom Line: Even if it breaks your heart when I say this, this country song is pretty good.
Rating: 8/10

The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder

It looks like we're on a roll here, folks! This installment has been consistently great so far, IMO. Gym Class Heroes are a great rap group. I wasn't sure how I felt about them at first, and they do have some clinkers (WE HAAAVE TO TAKEAH CLOTHES OFF) but it's songs like this that remind me why I like them. The main thing is (and I know I've beaten this to death) that this song ain't just "cash money hoes", like a lot of rap songs today. No, it actually tells a decent story. Another plus is that is features Ryan Tedder, who is also the lead singer of OneRepublic, a band I am also fond of. Nope, this countdown CAN'T go wrong this time around (and when I say things like that, you know a shit song is coming up).

Bottom Line: I want to fight to keep songs like this on the charts.
Rating: 9/10

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj ft. 2 Chainz

I can't believe this no-talent fuck is still popular. What do people see in her at all? This song is like a template on how to do music wrong. Incredibly shallow lyrics? Check. A beat used about 1000 times to be replayed over the incredibly shallow lyrics? Check. Nicki Minaj's voice? Check. A rap interlude from an equally-as-bad rapper? Check. Attempts to distract from the awful song by putting a bikini-clad Minaj in the video? Check. Nicki Minaj showing off in the video that she can't dance, at all? Checkaroo. 2 Chainz being the worst rapper name ever? Checkmate. All things being equal, you lose, Nicki Minaj. Now go get a job at McDonald's or something, preferably one I never visit.

Bottom Line: "Bitches they shit and they ain't sayin nothin" indeed.
Rating: 0/10 all day long

[Wumbo]

​All Around the World - Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris

Hmm, so we're back with V8 Orca! What better way to bring back this thread than with another Biebs song? Yep, the Biebvolution is in full swing yet again, with the girls swooning over Justin Bieber's new voice. Y'know, I'm not thrilled with the new Justin Bieber, but it's better than the old one. At least now when he sings about love it sounds less phony than when he's whining about needing SOMEBODY TO LOOOOVE in his prepubescent wail. As for Ludacris's part? Meh, he's never really invoked interest in me. And didn't he already do a duet with J-Biebs? I think it was a fairly big song,

or something like that. But I digress. Passable pop stuff, not great, but better than his old tripe.

Bottom Line: Yep, Bieber's still a worldwide phenomenon, slightly less irritating.

Rating: 7/10

Come Over - Kenny Chesney

When I first saw that this song was by Kenny Chesney, my first thought was "Oh, NO...." Why, you ask? Probably because he created one of the most

songs of the 90's ever. But you know me, ever open-minded. And I couldn't do this blog if I didn't stick to my roots, which is do the Top 5 songs on the Billboard Top 40 that haven't been reviewed yet, regardless of how much animosity you feel towards the artist. (Why do you think Nicki Minaj has been featured thrice?)

...Hey, this song's pretty good. If I had to pick a favourite style of country, it's the style that gets a little deeper than girls and trucks and beer and somethin' 'bout them. I like the tempo of the song, really. It's nice to hear a slower song once in a while, and I think that Chesney delivers here. Almost enough for me to forgive him for that tractor song. Almost.

Bottom Line: Come over anytime, Chesney. Just play songs like this.

Rating: 8.5/10

My Homies Still - Lil Wayne ft. Big Sean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcuMj8zL0i8

You know, sometimes I feel like I'm doing you all a service. I listen to the absolute shittiest of the shit music today, so you don't have to! Take this song, for example. (Why not? It's next on the list.) Lil Wayne's voice is like a mixture of a wheezing old man and nails down a chalkboard, and that's me being polite. And the beat? I think I heard it in a retro video arcade once. While we're on the topic, the only way justice will be served in this world is if Donkey Kong heaves a barrel at Dirty McDreadlocks' head for this travesty of a song. Reading the comments, apparently this was the old Lil Wayne, which is definitely doing me a service to tell me to stay away from the old Lil Wayne.

Bottom Line: My head still shaking.

Rating: 0/10

Some Nights - fun.

You know, I had high hopes for this song after "We Are Young", and was excited to listen to it for the first time for the sake of this blog. And then I heard it, and I was... underwhelmed, somewhat. It's not a bad song by any means, but I was expecting more from this band. I also heard hints of autotune, which nearly made my skin crawl. You can sing well on your own, Nate Ruess! You don't need this trash! Overall, passable song, but like I said, I was expecting more.

Bottom Line: Sometimes I'm disappointed. This may be one of those times.

Rating: 7/10

5-1-5-0 - Dierks Bentley

Meh, ending things on an average note here, it seems. There's nothing bad about this song, but there's nothing that makes me particularly like it, either. And no one is surprised, because it's another generic country song. Look, I have nothing against the genre, really. But compared to others, it appears horribly bland unless someone does something to shake it up. And that didn't happen here. When I want songs with titles consisting of numbers, I'll stick with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg_YueZ4fi8, thank you very much. (Anyone remember when that was my username? Anyone? Whatever.)

Bottom Line: When I end up talking about a completely different song, making the loosest of connections possible, that's not a great sign.

Rating: 6.5/10

[SG19]

Do you take requests? I want to hear your thoughts on Billboard tunes from the past

[Wumbo]

Tbh, it is kind of tiring to review mediocre country song after mediocre country song. Maybe I'll do a bonus 5 "blast from the past" songs each month, in addition to my regular 5 current songs. Just send your requests, and I'll pick 5 of them.