Wumbo's Somewhat Informed Opinions on Music

[Wumbo]

Sarcasm, gifs, and hilarity, oh my! Amidst the chaos, here's a new installment:

The Motto - Drake ft. Lil Wayne

God Almighty, I hate this song. Hate hate hate it. You know how I was hinting that there was a more boring song than Feel So Close? Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we are. The music is so lame, and the vocals are even lamer. Does Drake fall asleep during live performances? I wouldn't blame him. Actually, I would for not being more interesting. Don't get me started on the lyrics. Every other word begins with "n", which is such a double standard. I don't mind when it's used sparingly, but come on now: You guys sound like white guys in the 1930's for Christ's sake. That's not even where the awfulness ends:

Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt.

HAHA I MAKE BABY GOT BACK REFERENCE IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE wait what the fuck this isn't funny

I would also like to smite this song for starting this stupid "YOLO" shit. It's fucking everywhere. Stop it. Please. It is very offensive to Buddhists not clever and it's irritating. Much like the rest of this crappy song.

(Also, lol at Tyga remixing this song by adding yet another crappy verse. Real n****, what's up.)

Bottom Line: Oh, my, God, 2Pac, rolling in grave.
Rating: 0/10 (first one!)

So Good - B.O.B.

Congrats, B.O.B.! This is what rap should sound like. B.O.B. is one of my favourite rappers right now, because his songs (or collaborations) have been consistently great. This song, for example. It's a rap song about a girl, which usually means "Bitches hoes gonna love my cash/genitals" or, God help us, "Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass". This one? Not a trace. It's just a great, feel-good song, which we need more of nowadays in this Minaj-infested world of ours. And he can carry a tune, too, unlike Drake most of the time, whose singing should be marketed as an insomnia cure. Man, just... what a great song. I hope it gets higher on the charts.

Bottom Line: So... good!
Rating: 10/10

P.S. Check out one of my favourite B.O.B. songs (and songs of all time) from a couple years ago, if you haven't already:

Ass Back Home - Gym Class Heroes ft. Neon Hitch

Hmm, so after an abysmal song and an excellent song, we get one that's decent enough. I mean, it's nothing special, but it's not exactly boring, either. Gym Class Heroes are a decent enough rap group, and I do like Neon's vocals in the chorus. I don't like the title of the song, though. I know it sounds like a trite complaint, but I'm really kind of grasping at straws to think of something to write about this one. And really, the title is pretty bad. Maybe "Get Your Ass Back Home" would have been better, but "Ass Back Home" on its own sounds rather stilted to me. *cough* Anyway, pretty good song.

Bottom Line: Well, at least it's not "Ass Ass Ass Ass Ass Ass Ass Back Home".
Rating: 8/10

Young, Wild, and Free - Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa ft. Bruno Mars and whatever the hell else

Hmm... this seems to be the rapping part of the charts. Again, another decent, though slightly boring, song. I usually like Bruno Mars and Snoop Dogg, but both have been in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SAmbdIPPxo. Wiz? I don't really like him or hate him, he's just kind of there for me. Kind of like this song. I won't turn it off if it's on the radio, but I'm not rushing out to buy this on iTunes or anything. *yawn* I wish this song was a little more interesting.

Bottom Line: Well, at least it's not "The Motto".
Rating: 7/10

Rumour Has It - Adele

Ending on Adele again? I'm okay with that, because as we all know (except dragiiin, I suppose), she's a great artist. This is one of her weaker songs, IMO. But it still works for me. Like I've said before, Adele knows how to put emotion into a song immaculately. And for that, I applaud her. I think that there are Adele songs that trump this one (see previous post for example) but Adele has yet to disappoint me.

Bottom Line: Rumour has it that Adele is near-flawless.
Rating: 8/10

[dragiiin123]

bob is laaaame dude

[box]

I see where this is going.....

[Wumbo]

bob is laaaame dude

Go listen to that underground band that nobody cares about.

[dragiiin123]

Go listen to that underground band that nobody cares about.

no need to get snarky on me, I just didn't think you were a 13 year old girl who listens to "IF ONLY AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHTSKY WERE LIKE SHOOTING STAAARS"

[Wumbo]

no need to get snarky on me, I just didn't think you were a 13 year old girl who listens to "IF ONLY AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHTSKY WERE LIKE SHOOTING STAAARS"

No need to get snarky on me, I was just under the impression that you were here to shoot down every song I like.

[70s]

No need to get snarky on me, I was just under the impression that you were here to shoot down every song I like.

He has to shoot down everything mainstream, don't ya know?

[Clappy]

The Motto - 5/10

I have a love-hate relationship with this song. Some days it annoys me with how lazy it is. Other days, I can't help but go along with it for fun.

So Good - 5/10

So meh. I just am not that fond of B.o.B. I don't know why.

Ass Back Home - 6/10

It's alright, but Neon Hitch's part is just so boring. Gym Class Heroes has done better.

Young, Wild, and Free - 8/10

This is a fun song. I actually enjoy Wiz Khalifa (outside of Black and Yellow) and isn't it ironic that this song got played out a lot on the radio yesterday?? Get it?? All three people that are involved with this song have been busted for marijuana possession?? LOLOLOLOL.....nah but seriously though, fun song.

Rumour Has It - 10/10

My other favorite Adele song. I just love the sassiness of it. While I feel that most of her songs do sound a lot a like, this one is just so much different and I love it for that.

[dragiiin123]

Rumour Has It - 10/10

My other favorite Adele song. I just love the sassiness of it. While I feel that most of her songs do sound a lot a like, this one is just so much different and I love it for that.

Adele's vocals in this sound so raw, and the instrumentation is amazing. Clappy, you have the best taste in music.

[70s]

Adele's vocals in this sound so raw, and the instrumentation is amazing. Clappy, you have the best taste in music.

So are you just a douchebag now, then?

[dragiiin123]

So are you just a douchebag now, then?

heheehe

[Wumbo]

Pssh, everybody knows I have the best taste in music.

[dragiiin123]

Pssh, everybody knows I have the best taste in music.

I COULD REALLY USE A WISH RITE NOW WISH RITE NOW WISH RITE NOW

[Wumbo]

I COULD REALLY USE A WISH RITE NOW WISH RITE NOW WISH RITE NOW

And don't you forget it.

[Clappy]

Adele's vocals in this sound so raw, and the instrumentation is amazing. Clappy, you have the best taste in music.

Don't make me blush. Your taste is clearly far superior to mine. How did that one song you like go again...?

Straight from your music list thread. I mean clearly your taste is so much better.

[dragiiin123]

Don't make me blush. Your taste is clearly far superior to mine. How did that one song you like go again...?

Straight from your music list thread. I mean clearly your taste is so much better.

yeah I had the best music taste 2 years ago.

nowadays it's more

then YO HOME TO BEL AIR

[Wumbo]

Payphone - Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa

Before I start the critique on the song, I'm kind of charmed by the songs that come out of nowhere, debuting in the Top 10 out of a possible 100. Anyway, Maroon 5 is another "love-it-or-hate-it" band, it seems. Myself? I like them. Adam Levine's got a unique voice, and the band makes good music. That said, I'm not sure his singing voice is made to say "fucking". Not a bad song at all, really. Wiz is pretty tolerable (although he kind of strays off topic with the lyrics that more or less go "YOU LEFT ME WHATEVER I HAVE CAR I PLAY BASKETBALL"), and Maroon 5's great as always. The lyrics are okay, but I've definitely heard better. I can see why it made the Top 10 in its debut.

Bottom Line: Maroon 5 dials the right number yet again.
Rating: 8/10

Climax - Usher

Well, if the last entry was rap, this appears to be the entry of high voices. Say what you want, but I think that artists like Usher are a nice change of pace from "CASH MONEY HOES YOLO". I mean, it's not like he's a bad singer. He's just different. He has a nice range as well, as demonstrated by this song. This song's pretty good overall, as are most Usher songs IMO. Doesn't really have any "wow" factor, but I wouldn't turn it off if it appeared on the radio.

Bottom Line: With today's music going nowhere fast, Usher appears to be near the climax.
Rating: 8/10

Eyes Open - Taylor Swift

Man, this is also the entry for difficulty with finding music videos. First Payphone, now this. Whatever. Back to the song. Wow, great song. Never thought I'd say that about Taylor Swift, especially after Safe and Sound (UUUUGGGGGGHHHH). But yeah, I'm pleasantly surprised by this one. Taylor Swift has always been barely tolerable to me, with the odd song that just makes me shake my head. But I like the kind of pop-rock thing this song has going; It's probably the most "rocking" song Swift has. Dang, even with difficulty finding music videos, this is turning out to be quite a streak (spoilers: streak ending very, very soon).

Bottom Line: If Taylor Swift keeps this up, I may have to keep my ears open.
Rating: 10/10

We Found Love - Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris

No, no, no. You are not going to spoil this winning streak right now, Rihanna. Why is this song still in the Top 100, let alone the Top 30? This song just amplifies why I've grown to hate Rihanna, because it made me realize something: Her singing is grating. I can't stand it. I'm not sure whether it's just her voice or the fact that the chorus is this:

We found love in a hopeless place

Yet it sounds like this:

WIFFUN LUP IN A HOPISS PAAAACE

God. Damn. It. And Billboard was on a roll, too! Eradicate this song immediately!

Wait, the lump who does "Feel So Close" DJs this song? Oh, this gets better by the minute.

Bottom Line: I found hate in a Rihanna song.
Rating: 0/10

Birthday Cake - oh good her again ft. Chris Brown

 

 

I'll just let this speak for itself:

It's not even my birthday (my birthday)
But he wanna lick the icing off (the icing off)
He want that cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake
Oo baby your so excited dont try to hide it ima make you my bitch cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake.

IF THIS SONG WERE A CAKE IT WOULD BE A CAKE FILLED WITH ARSENIC.

No, but seriously: Fuck off, Rihanna. I don't even know why you're doing another duet with Chris Brown. Maybe it's because you were made for each other: You both can't make music for shit. Enjoy the wedding cake cake cake... fuck it, I can't even be bothered. Just... fuck off.

Bottom Line: I can't make it any clearer: Fuck off. I don't even want to put a pun here, I'm just... disappointed with the music industry. Seeya next week.
Rating: 0 talented artists out of 2

[Steel Sponge]

With all my honesty, I hate "We Found Love" as well.

[dragiiin123]

rihanna was pretty good in that kanye west song all of the lights. she has an okay voice.

[Clappy]

Payphone - 9/10

I normally hate the repetitiveness of Maroon 5, but this song is pretty good. Whoever broke Adam Levine's heart must be thanked for having him write this.

Climax - 5/10

Meh. If you've heard one Usher R&B song, you've heard them all. This really is no different than his others.

Eyes Open - 7/10

Don't like Taylor Swift, but this song is actually not all that bad. I guess it helps that she wrote it for The Hunger Games.

We Found Love - 3/10

I like the beat, but the lyrics are so God awful.

Birthday Cake - -10/10

I like Chris Brown's music, but I hate him as a person. This song in general I just hate with a passion. The lyrics, the hidden innuendos, etc. it's just all way too soon. I mean this came three years after Chris Brown abusing her and now you are opening your arms back up to him? Rihanna, you are just as bad a role model as he is now. You are telling domestic abuse victims that it is ok to go back open arms to your abusive ex. Plus, it's no secret that you want him back with your other previous songs. I may bash other songs, but this is one of the worst I've heard in years. I mean this makes Rebecca Black look like royalty.