Wumbo's Somewhat Informed Opinions on Music

[Wumbo]

No problem. Since nobody else jumped at the idea, you were the only viable option.

Anyway, here's your late 5 songs of the week:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift

Boy howdy, I wonder what this one's about? Has Taylor Swift finally found a healthy, happy relationship? Well, let's give a listen and find out.

...Oh, she's never ever ever getting back together with her ex. What a surprise.

said it best (skip to about 7:20), and he's not even talking about the same song! Basically, if you couldn't have found a decent guy by now, Taylor, maybe it's you, and not them. Just sayin'. And I'm pretty sure of this, because someone who constantly writes vengeful songs about their exes doesn't exactly have a winning personality in my view. You're actually decent, Ms. Swift (I can't be bothered to know whether she's in a relationship), when you're not bitching about the latest guy who screwed you over (yeah, definitely their fault).

Bottom Line: I am never ever ever listening to this song again.

Rating: 2/10

Adorn - Miguel

I do like this song, but it's a little too generic R&B. I realize that most R&B sounds like this, but this song could have done more to stand out. As it is, it's a non-offensive, somewhat decent song that doesn't have much to writer about, other than at least it's not another Lil Wayne/Drake song, which always has its plusses. If there's anything notable about this song, it's the somewhat hilarious "LET MY LOVE... ADOOOORN.... you" at the end. Other than that, not much to say.

Bottom Line: I don't "adorn" this song, but it's not bad. (Horrible pun, apologies.)

Rating: 7/10

It's Time - Imagine Dragons

Good song. I mean, with a name like "Imagine Dragons" I kind of expect you to be, well, innovative. And I do like this song. It's got a creative and unique melody, and I enjoy the lyrics as well. It's simply a great song, and there's not much more to say. Or maybe there is, and I'm getting lazy in my old age. I digress.

Bottom Line: It's time to listen to this song.

Rating: 10/10

The Wind - Zac Brown Band

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWpZc9v7m_g

Nice little happy tune we've got here. Other than that, I'm not sold on this song. It's just a little boring. I like it, but there's really no change in the melody, and when your melody is just playing a banjo as fast as you can, you gotta change it up. Sorry, that's just my unprofessional opinion. I don't hate the song, but it's hard to love.

Bottom Line: This song doesn't blow, but it doesn't rock either.

Rating: 6/10

Come Wake Me Up - Rascal Flatts

The thing about Rascal Flatts is that I know they're fundamentally a country band. But like Taylor Swift (I'm not sure if I've mentioned this), I don't consider them country so much as pop. Now, that's not a bad thing at all. It's a good thing, even. I do think this song is nice, along with the video. It has a nice, soft melody and the lyrics are borderline touching. It's not the greatest I've heard, even from this band, but it's still a decent song in its own right.

Bottom Line: Much better than "Don't Wake Me Up".

Rating: 8/10

[Clappy]

Spoiler

Taylor Swift's next song will be about how happy she is with her new beau, but then the one after that will be another break up song, and we'll keep repeating the same song process until she finally settles down when she is 65 and retired.

[Sauce Mama]

I completely agree with what you said about the Taylor Swift song. I love Taylor Swift, and some of her songs can give me something to relate to. But this, this is just getting annoying.

[Wumbo]

Turn on the Lights - Future

Well... that.... was not what I was expecting, to say the least. Being my first time listening to future, I was expecting something more in line with Imagine Dragons or something. Not... this. I can't really get past the singer's voice to enjoy the song. It's so annoying and whiny, and doesn't really make me want to listen to more of his work. It's not an awful song, but I've definitely heard better.

Bottom Line: This song is light on good.

Rating: 4/10

Fastest Girl in Town - Miranda Lambert

Well... you guys all know how I feel about country music by now, right? There's nothing wrong with this song, really, but it gives off a strong vibe of "been there, done that" to me. It's somewhat catchy and fun, but that's it. There's not much for me to say otherwise, other than Miranda Lambert is (IMO) one of the more tolerable country artists.

Bottom Line: I'll probably forget about this song fast enough.

Rating: 6/10

The A Team - Ed Sheeran

Damn, this song, coupled with the video, nearly makes me want to tear up. This is a great example of a video that complements a song, based on the subject matter. Unfortunately, there's now another video that goes with this song, and it's just Ed Sheeran playing a guitar. WTF? The first one is so much better. But I'm digressing here, so back to the song. This is an amazingly wonderful song that deals with the perils of drug addiction. Ed Sheeran is a true artist in the sea of Soulja Boys and Nicki Minajs, and I hope more of his work appears on the Billboard charts so I can review it as well.

Bottom Line: Class A song.

Rating: 10/10

Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself) - Ne-Yo

This song's okay, just like Ne-Yo is for me. Okay, this is the umpteenth song about him wanting to love a girl. All right, I get it. Again, there's nothing really wrong with this song, but I've heard this formula so many times that I've become rather numb to it. The lyrics, voice and music aren't anything groundbreaking at all. Overall, passable song, but Ne-Yo needs to do a lot more to impress me.

Bottom Line: Let me critique you, until you learn to better yourself.

Rating: 6/10

I Can Only Imagine - David Guetta ft. Chris Brown and Lil Wayne

All right review of a lifetime, am I right? You know how much I hate all 3 of these guys, right? Hell, I never shut up about it. Of course you know. Well, let me just say...

This song is pretty damn catchy. Don't get me wrong, I still hate Chris Brown and everything he stands for, Lil Wayne is still a tool, and Guetta usually doesn't impress me. But there's something about this song that really appeals to me. No, it's not the autotune at the end (fun fact: this song always played in my gym class at a slightly higher pitch, making me think that Justin Bieber was involved in this song when the autotune part came on). It's not the lyrics, where Lil Wayne calls himself Tucci for the millionth time (Christ what is that anyway?) I may just have to give Guetta some well-deserved credit for the beats this time around. This time it didn't sound like it was somebody featuring David Guetta's toy piano; I believe Guetta was the star of this song, which may not seem great, but... give it a listen and see what you think.

Bottom Line: I can only imagine a Nicki Minaj/Rihanna/Calvin Harris collaboration now.

Rating: 9/10

Stay tuned tomorrow for a very... erm, "special" bonus review session.

[Clappy]

Stay tuned tomorrow for a very... erm, "special" bonus review session.

*meniacal laughter*

[Wumbo]

Ask and ye shall receive... if you're Overlord for a Day, that is. His Clappliness has ordered me to listen to every song on Nicki Minaj's "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded" CD and review it. Anyone who thinks I already bash Nicki Minaj too much should just turn away now. Here goes nothing...

Roman Holiday

I can barely stand the first few seconds of this. That's not a good sign for any of this. Sigh... what have you gotten me into, Clappy?

This song just has everything terrible at Nicki Minaj. It has the two stupid things she does with her voice (one is raising its intensity so she sounds like a kid on a sugar high, the other is her attempting a British accent, at least I think that's what she's doing?) Then she starts going into something that sounds like "O Come All Ye Faithful". Eventually, we get to a part where we actually hear good singing, but I really don't even care by this point. This song is complete garbage from beginning to end, there's no getting around it.

Bottom Line: I wish I could take a holiday from this demand...

Rating: 0.5/10

Come on a Cone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi1_fxtHy00

You want to know about this song? Sure, I'll tell you about this song. It has the lyric "put my dick in your face" over and over again. Never mind that the rest of the lyrics make no sense. What the serious fuck is any of this? I'm two songs in and already I can feel the blood rising in my ears. This isn't even a song, this is a pathetic joke on anybody who buys this album. But then, if they buy this album, they probably like this shit somehow, so maybe they deserve it.

Bottom Line: No puns here, I'm just going to say that this song sucks ass.

Rating: 0/10, and I'm being generous here

I Am Your Leader (ft. Cam'Ron and Rick Ross)

Well, this is a pleasant surprise. This song isn't mind-blowingly terrible. Oh, it's still terrible, don't worry. But after hearing "Roman Holiday" and "Come on a Cone", I think a new low has been set for all music Maybe I'm just glad to hear somebody that isn't Nicki Minaj for a change, even if it is a dull-as-fuck rapper (that goes for both of you, gentlemen). Well, what can I say? This is just another generic song about hoes and what you do to em, punctuated by the chorus of "I am your leader, blah blah blah leader, suck a big dick". Isn't it sad that this is Nicki on a good day?

Bottom Line: Fuuuuck, 16 more to go.

Rating: 2/10

Beez in the Trap (ft. 2 Chainz)

I bee-lieve I've already reviewed this one (ha ha, BEE!) so I'll keep it short. Stupid song, stupid lyrics, stupid rappers, stupid video, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Bottom Line: ...

Rating: 0/10

HOV Lane

Well, this song isn't too bad, especially considering what I've had to put up with thus far. It's still bad, but it doesn't inspire me to tear my ears out of my head. It's just a stupid song with Nicki Minaj... um, rapping. At least she's not doing any of her Jedi voice tricks (apologies to Star Wars fans for comparing Jedis to this dumb bitch), but it's still not a great song by any means.

Bottom Line: HOV Lane? More like HOE LAME AMIRITE

Rating: 4/10

Roman Reloaded (ft. everyone's favourite Muppet, Lil Wayne)

You know what? If you really want to listen to this shit, just go here for every song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN8rbYWe9As&feature=related

My shit bang? What the serious fuck?

On a serious note, this may be the most honest Minaj has been about her music. Oh yeah, and this features Lil Wayne, who at least has the mildly amusing "Minaj a trois" line, although I shudder to think of either of them having sex/reproducing/raising children. Fuck this shit.

Bottom Line: Still 13 to go...

Rating: 0.5/10

Champion (ft. Nas, Drake, and Young Jeezy)

What is Nas doing here? Ain't he the one who rambled about how http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAKxjTRV6ms? Whatever. I assume he's the last rapper, because the first one sounds like Drake, and the second one is so awful that anyone who self-righteously says hip hop is dead and sounds like that shit can just get out of the gene pool, thanks. So this song isn't as bad as the other songs I've heard, but it still has bad elements with Minaj calling others bitches and the aforementioned second rapper, who I'm assuming is Young Jeezy.

Bottom Line: Well, this is the champion so far, but that's not saying much.

Rating: 5/10

Right By My Side (ft. Chris Brown)

Brace yourself, boys and girls: I actually somewhat like this song, and it's the one I was waiting for this entire album. Given the state of the non-singles, it'll probably be my favourite to come out of this album. I still hate both artists, but with minimal Minaj rapping and actually decent (!) lyrics for the most part, this makes a passable song.

Bottom Line: I'll just wait until you recover from shock.

Rating: 7.5/10

Sex in the Lounge (ft. Chris Brown... er, Bobby V and Lil Wayne)

Well... there's really nothing much to say. It's just another stupid song with stupid lyrics and stupid guest artists. It's a little more bearable than other songs here, but it's still stupid.

Bottom Line: Was I not clear? Stupid.

Rating: 4/10

Starships

It's saddening and maddening at the same time that this song sounds... tame now. I've been subjected to true failure with this album, and I may have to resort to giving every song after this clusterfuck failure of an album a 10/10. Or maybe a week will be enough time for me to recover. We'll see.

Bottom Line: What the fuck ever, I've had enough of these bottom lines. Why should I make something clever of someone that obviously isn't?

Rating: 3/10

Pound the Alarm

Another shitty Minaj song I've already reviewed. Next!

Rating: 2/10

Whip It (don't expect Devo quality don't expect Devo quality)

Well... that wasn't bad, but it still wasn't great. I dunno, give it a listen, why not, who cares, life has no meaning.

Rating: 6/10

Automatic

God help me, this is a pretty good song. Sure, it's self-serving, and sure, it's slightly generic, but I'm impressed. It at least sounds good. Wow.

Rating: 8/10 (!)

Beautiful Sinner

Another good Minaj song? Now I'm just dreaming. Maybe every Minaj album has a good and bad part. But yeah, I actually enjoyed listening to this. I don't know if I'm delirious or if Nicki Minaj is capable of decent music. Wait, I have the answer! When Nicki Minaj sings, it's decent. When she... er, raps, it's almost always unbearable. Take my word for it, Nicki Minaj. Stick to siniging, and you may make it into my good books someday.

Rating: 8/10

Marilyn Monroe

Unbelievable. How can someone who puts out garbage ike "Beez in the Trap" and "Pound the Alarm" make these songs as well? It's more than beyond me. Moreover, how do those songs become singles and these ones don't? People are stupid. Anyway, I really like this song, and it's probably my favourite thus far. This is starting to scare me.

Rating: 9/10

Young Forever

Well, now I don't know what to think. Am I expecting more from Nicki Minaj now? Because this song was just okay compared to the last 3 others. I didn't think the vocals were as great. Am I... am I critiquing Nicki Minaj seriously now? Clappy, you'll pay for this.

Rating: 7/10

Fire Burns

Another decent song! Nicki Minaj is an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in... I don't know, beez in a trap? Anyway, the vocals are good and I'm impressed once again!

Rating: 8/10

Gunshot (ft. Beenie Man)

Oddly enough, the worst part of this song is the irritating guest voice. I'm a fan of Shaggy, but for some reason he rubs me the wrong way. Nicki's part is decent enough though. Not a great song, but it's still better than half this album.

Rating: 7/10

Stupid Hoe

No, fuck this. I am not listening to this again, especially not after the roll Nicki Minaj was on. This song can go fuck itself.

Rating: 0/10

I'M NOT LISTENING TO THE BONUS TRACKS YOU CAN'T MAKE ME

OVERALL: 81/190 - about 4.2/10

"Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded" is surprising, to say the least. I definitely wasn't expecting any good songs to come out of this batch, but they did show up eventually. Of course, this album does have Nicki Minaj's unimitatable style, which I can say almost for certain because who would want to imitate it? I would cautiously recommend most of the second half of this album, but the first half just completely fails. Not as bad as I was expecting, for sure, but still... it's Nicki Minaj.

[Clappy]

Yes, yes. This pleased your former overlord. Job well done Wumbo. Feel free to go recover from any illnesses you might have received from listening to Miss Minaj.

[dragiiin123]

WUMBO AINT SHIT AND HE AINT SAY NOTHING

[Wumbo]

Damn, what you say about me?

[Wumbo]

Feel Again - OneRepublic

OneRepublic is just okay for me now. Nothing special after the song "Secrets". This song is no exception. It's okay, but not great, and is admittedly a little boring. I kind of liked OneRepublic before, but I don't know whether I grew out of them or they became more boring. Anyway, decent but slightly dull song.

Bottom Line: Come on, OneRepublic! Make me feel something again!

Rating: 7/10

Lovin' You Is Fun - Easton Corbin

Eh, just another stupid country song. Nothing more to say, really. There's nothing wrong with the lyrics, really (not everything has to be deep), but I just don't like this country voice that every country singer seems to have. It annoys me. Whatever, nothing I haven't said before.

Bottom Line: Listenin' to these songs isn't really fun.

Rating: 4/10

Battle Scars - Lupe Fiasco & Guy Sebastian

Lupe Fiasco, like B.O.B. is one of my favourite rappers today, and I'm so glad he's making new music. Not only does he have a knack for picking

with dynamite voices (seriously, Skylar Grey is amazing <3), he complements it with some really great lyrics. Really, if a rapper doesn't have good lyrics, he doesn't have much at all. But that ain't a problem for Lupe. He always has great songs, and this is no exception right here. Artists like this are why people who say "U CANT SPELL CRAP WITHOUT RAP" make my skin crawl (I used to be one of these people too, fuck me). Yes, a lot of rap is bad. But a lot of rap is good too. You just have to look.

Bottom Line: Lupe wins the rap battle.

Rating: 10/10

Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye - Luke Bryan

Meh, this song's okay, but it's still country. I do like how it's got more of an edge in the music, and this is the type of country I tolerate (that and Carrie Underwood :3). Nothing I can say that hasn't been said before. God, I'm even repeating myself when I'm commenting about repeating myself.

Bottom Line: Kiss this song goodbye, I guess.

Rating: 6.5/10

Cruise - Florida Georgia Line

...no comment.

...Okay, I will comment. What is America's obsession with country music? Christ, it's so bland. And when perfectly legitimate artists from Canada like K'Naan get overlooked in favour of this mediocre swill, it makes me want to give up on Canada ever seriously making an impression on the American music industry. Please buy our music. It's not all Justin Bieber. Please?

Bottom Line: Cruisin' on by actual commentary on the song, because it really is bland.

Rating: 5/10

Bonus Song: That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings

From the Have You Heard It? thread:

That's Not My Name-The Ting Tings

Unfortunately. Christ, I hate that song.

May I see a review in your next installment of Knee Jerk Opinions?

Sounds like a plan.

Because I aim to please, bring it on. Hell, you know I can't resist reviewing a song I absolutely hate, especially when it's recommended to me. But enough backstory, let's do this.

First of all, let's get to the meat and potatoes of the badness of this song: the chorus.

They call me girl

They call me Stacey

They call me her

They call me Jane

Who calls someone "her" unless they're not directly talking to her? And if the problem is that they're not directly talking to you, how about:

A: Stop assuming that people are talking about you when they say "her" You are not the only girl in the world. Hell, Rihanna beat you to that claim. RIHANNA.

B: If they are talking about you, stop assuming that your name needs to be said when you're being made reference to. Do you have something against pronouns, Katie White? Do you? (btw, this is her name, which I had to look up because the bitch doesn't even bother telling us. Even

went to the trouble to do that, even though it's an equally awful song.)

Even weirder is the fact that they call her random names like "Stacey" and "Jane". Who is she interacting with that they just make up random names for her? Of course, we learn that her name is not Stacey, or Jane, or her, as we head into Part 2 of the chorus:

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not my name

I've got a name for this: filler. Check that, annoying filler.

They call me quiet girl

But I'm a riot yeah

This is stupid because she says earlier in the song:

Listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all

Yeah, you sound like a real party animal. I don't know where they came up with "quiet girl". Also, "girl" and "yeah" do not rhyme in the slightest.

Maybe Joleisa

Now this would definitely be my first guess.

Hold on, let's go back to this:

Listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all

And... you're wondering why they don't know your name?? She doesn't tell us, and maybe she never told them. In short, she's complaining about people not knowing her name because she's antisocial. This song is just a hodgepodge of crap. I will give her this, though. ​Anybody who calls a girl this:

Are you calling me bird?

Deserves a straight-up crotch-kicking.

Nope, don't like this song in the slightest. And I believe this was the second time I actually dissected the lyrics (first being Call Me Maybe). So while the song still sucks, at least it brought life to a boring country-filled update.

Bottom Line: They call me Wumbo, that's not my real name but hey, I don't care. What? Oh. Don't like this song.

Rating: 1/10

[dragiiin123]

i did you command overlord!

[Wumbo]

i did you command overlord!

I shall review your Canuck choice tomorrow, my liege.

[SG19]

I'll have the list you ordered ready by this evening

[Wumbo]

All right, so SG12, by influence of my Overlord powers, has devised a list of 6 songs for me to review. I will do that and dragiiin's song.

Shake It Out - Florence + the Machine

Florence + the Machine is a great, talented band. Florence has an amazing voice, and the music just complements it. This song is a great example of both. Man, it's just such a great song. The chorus actually kind of reminds me of We Are Young for some reason. Anyway, absolutely nothing bad about this song.

Bottom Line: Makes you want to shake it out.

Rating: 9.5/10

Day n' Nite - Kid Cudi

Kid Cudi is a great new talent as well. Maybe not as great as Florence + the Machine, but he was featured in that amazing

song, so I gotta give him some credit. Anyway, while not as great as the aforementioned song, this song is still pretty good.

Bottom Line: Day and Night, good and bad, Kid Cudi fits the former category.

Rating: 8.5/10

Bodies - Drowning Pool

Oh, brother. Not the song that every YouTuber thinks is so AWESOME OMGZ LETS USE IT IN MY ACTION VIDEO. This is just kind of an odd song to me. I've always been a fan of rock, but the awkward lyrics (why do they say "why for" instead of "what for"?) and the bad attempts to sounds badass (FLAAAAAAAAAAAH) just leave me shaking my head. This is proof that I'm not biased in any way genre-wise, because if I was, then this song would pass with flying colours because ROCK IS SO AWESOME AMIRITE? I also think Limp Bizkit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMVOzPPtiw, but that's another story.

Bottom Line: Let the bodies hit the floor - namely, the makers of this song.

Rating: 4/10

My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

Once upon a time, Little Waterloo Who (aka me) was just getting into music. There was a local music countdown on TV that he liked to watch periodically. This is when he heard this song, and instantly fell in love with Avril Lavigne. Now, it's kind of a love-hate relationship. While this song is awesome, reviewing awesome things is boring, so let's talk about the bigger picture. Avril Lavigne used to be a great homegrown talent, and I was proud that somebody who was making it big in the States was someone I wasn't ashamed to call Canadian. But then she got bad. I think it was around the "HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND" era. Since then, her music's been mostly ballads and shit like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQmEd_UeeIk. (I still don't want to believe that the same artist made My Happy Ending and What the Hell). It's like she's Benjamin Button. She made great, relatable songs when she was in her early 20s, and now she's making teeny-bop stuff like this in her late 20s. I don't get it, really.

Back to the song.

As I said, this song is amazing. First of all, it's one of the few songs I associate with taking my first step into paying attention to the music industry, which should be enough for top marks alone because I have some bias. But no, it also has some amazing vocal and musical talent to back it up. All right, the lyrics could use a little work (namely the laughable "let's talk this over, it's not like we're dead") but I'm willing to overlook that because of Avril Lavigne's voice and the musical talent.

Bottom Line: Ironically, this was my happy beginning into appreciating music.

Rating: 10/10

No Scrubs - TLC

If you were to ask someone "who was the best girl group of the '90s?" they would probably reply "Spice Girls" in a heartbeat. Me? Yeah, that's probably what I would reply as well. But Because the 90's are amazing, TLC has nothing to be ashamed of. This is my first time hearing this song, and I'm in love with it already. Not only is it catchy, it gives a simple yet effective message. Don't give these girls no scrubs! Unfortunately, they're not making music anymore because Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes met with an untimely death, which is really quite a shame. RIP Left Eye, thanks for leaving behind a great musical legacy.

Bottom Line: No scrubs here, just great music.

Rating: 10/10

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

I know Shania Twain is a country artist, but this song is so iconic that I can't help but love it, even if it's only a guilty pleasure. That "oh OH oh" is bloody infectious, and so is the rest of the song. I wouldn't call myself a big fan of Shania Twain, but I definitely love this song and she's one of the better country artists. Also, this song provided the soundtrack to this incredibly

video, so that's a bonus.

Bottom Line: Man! I feel like this is a great song.

Rating: 9/10

Destroy the Nations - Nihilist Spasm Band (dragiiin's song, if it wasn't obvious)

Noise music, eh? Let's give it a shot.

All right, I'm giving it a shot, and I think I need to take a couple. I'm just not a fan of noise rock at all. It's like I'm on a bad, and I mean really bad, acid trip. God, I don't even know what to say. I'm glad dragiiin is listening to Canadian music, but then again, it's... this.

Bottom Line: I can think of something I'd like to destroy.

Rating: 0.5/10 (the .5 comes from the fact that "Canada is already dead" made me laugh)

[Wumbo]

Welcome to a very special edition of Knee-Jerk Opinions. If you're wondering what's so special about it, check out the last song.

Ronan - Taylor Swift

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiX7fA9da6A

Congratulations Taylor Swift! This is what I love to hear from you. Not that "never ever getting back together" bullshit. This is a beautiful song about a child who lost his life to cancer. See, the difference between this and other Swift songs is this song has a meaning. And hell, the lyrics damn near made me cry, and that almost never happens. So huge kudos to you, Taylor Swift, for giving us a song that's not yet another carbon copy of your boyfriend laments. Love it.

Bottom Line: Even the biggest Swift hater shouldn't have a problem with this.

Rating: 10/10

Girl on Fire - Alicia Keys ft. Nicki Minaj

Well, looks like The Odd Couple is back, in music. Seriously, I can't think of a more contrasting pair than Alicia Keys, a musical goddess, and Nicki Minaj. But hey, this song worked. Nicki's rapping was pretty good, the lyrics were solid through the whole song, and Alicia's voice is stunning as always. If Nicki Minaj wants to keep on riding on Keys' coattails, that's perfectly fine with me if the music continues to sounds like this. It's certainly better than the majority of Minaj's solo work.

Bottom Line: This song is on fire!

Rating: 10/10

Thinkin Bout You - Frank Ocean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD8nAt2xJZM

The first time I heard Frank Ocean was on Jay-Z and Kanye West's song "No Church in the Wild", and I thought he sounded pretty good. So I was pretty interested to hear how his solo work sounds. He's pretty good, but not amazing. There's other artists today that I like more. Of course, it's a lot better than many songs on these charts. I like it, but there's not much for me that particularly stands out.

Bottom Line: I may think about Frank Ocean when I listen to more songs, I may not.

Rating: 7.5/10

Clique - Kanye West ft. Jay Z and Big Sean

I know what a "clique" is (or at least I think I do), but I can't help but interpret clique to mean "penis" in this song.

Ain't nobody fuckin' with my clique

Ain't nobody fresher than my motherfuckin' clique

They don't do it like my clique

...Humour me, okay? It's the only way I can make this song good. Another funny part is when Kanye says "Oh GOD" at the beginning, because it sounds like he's reacting to that horrid beat. Why is somebody panting "50" over and over again? It's beyond me. Anyway, not a fan of this song. It's just a generic rap song all over again. Some lyrics are okay, but for the most part it's just "LOOK AT ME I'M IN A CLIQUE". Meh-tastic.

Bottom Line: Click on a different video for better music.

Rating: 4.5/10

Gangnam Style - Psy

Now and then, there comes an song that is just so full of concentrated awesome that it's nearly impossible to review. But I'm going to try anyway.

Meet Psy.

It's quite tasteful to have your shirt cover your junk like a sir.

Psy is a rapper from South Korea who released a song called "Gangnam Style" on July 15th, 2012. For a while, only fans of K-Pop knew about this song. Then, with the help of sites such as Facebook and Twitter, it began to take over the world. That's the shortened history. Now let me give my opinion.

"Gangnam Style" is truly an amazing song. It's funny, catchy, the video is pretty much amazing, and Psy takes the prize for coolest guy of 2012, hands fucking down. I can only hope that this song beats out Justin Bieber's "Baby" in YouTube views. It's a bit of a pipe dream, but I can dream, can't I?

Bottom Line: OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE

Rating: 11/10

[Clappy]

AAAYYYYY....SEXY LADY! OP-OP-OP-OP-OP-OP OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!

[dragiiin123]

it's korean party rock

but that still doesn't mean it is bad

[Wumbo]

No Worries - Lil Wayne ft. Detail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ydmgFHcrtE

This entire song sounds like a 15-year-old filled with "swag". In other words, it sucks. Look, maybe "I COULD TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT MY DICK BUT IT'S A LONG STORY HAHA GET IT MY DICK IS LONG" was funny in, I dunno, 2005? But it's not funny anymore, if it ever was. And the way he says his lyrics just makes my skin crawl, as if he thinks they're the funniest damn things in the world. I don't even know what part "Detail" has in the song, and frankly I don't really care. This is a really, really shitty song.

Bottom Line: I've got worries about the music industry.

Rating: 0/10

Hello - Karmin

I know Clappy's a fan of Karmin, but... sorry dude, I'm not. Her rapping's just too annoying for my tastes. She acts like she's all gangster or whatever from NEBRASKA, and it doesn't work for me. The singing's okay, I guess. I assume the other member does the beats, which are pretty good as well. But I can't get past the irritating rapping, making this song certifiably meh.

Bottom Line: Goodbye.

Rating: 6/10

Bandz A Make Her Dance - Juicy J ft. Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEDFiUs8QeQ

Oh, what the fuck ever. Why do I even bother with songs featuring Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz? I know they're going to be bad. First of all, FOR GOD'S SAKE LIL WAYNE, STOP CALLING YOURSELF TUCCI. EVERY TIME YOU DO SO, A PUPPY DIES. STOP KILLING PUPPIES. Now that that's on his conscience because he obviously reads this blog, back to the rest of the song. 2 Chainz sounds to me like a Jay-Z without the lyrical talent, and I don't know much about Juicy J, but how great can he be if he wants these two knobs in his song? Overall, a bad song with talentless artists.

Bottom Line: This song a make me cry.

Rating: 1/10

The One That Got Away - Jake Owen

Once again, another okay country song. Not bad, but not too great. There's really not much more I can say. I swear the same guy's doing all these country songs under different names.

Bottom Line: This will definitely get away from my mind.

Rating: 6/10

Between the Raindrops - Lifehouse ft. Natasha Bedingfield

Love Lifehouse, love Natasha Bedingfield (well, save for that Pocketful of Sunshine song). Man, this is just a great song. It's sweet, uplifting, and it's got great talent on board. Nice way to end a mediocre/bad crop of songs. Thank God for true talent.

Bottom Line: This song doesn't rain on my parade.

Rating: 8/10

[SG19]

What's wrong with Pocketful of Sunshine? Too cheesy for ya?

[Wumbo]

I just don't like the chorus.

"IVEGOTAPOCKETGOTAPOCKETFULLOFSUNSHINE"