Old Man Jenkins Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 67a. Enemy-in-Law One day, Plankton uses his giant sex machine to kidnap people to eat at the Cum Bucket during the lunch rush as a part of what he calls "a new marketing campaign" but we all know he is just fucking poor and desperate. The patrons criticize his marketing tactics, saying it's almost as bad as new "New Coke" before they up and leave but not before one of them calls Plankton a "little shit". Plankton's computer wife (now this is just sad), Karen, concurs with the sentiments. Plankton asks her if she too thinks he's a little shit, to which Karen replies, "Yeah, but I was mostly talking about the kidnapping." Karen goes on and on about Plankton's shortcomings, to which Plankton calls her "lagging software." Karen over hears this and demands that Plankton "dusts her screen" right this instant. Meanwhile, at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is fondling his money like always, saying that it's always there for him. Greedy bastard. Mama Krabs barges into his office and walks in on his lewd acts. She spanks him for his indecency before Eugene asks her what she be doing here today. She tells him that she's here to see her favorite son (great, there's more). Eugene already sees this as a ploy and asks how much money she be a wanting. She simply tells him that she just saw the prettiest little hat today, suggesting that it is quite expensive. Being the cheap ass he is, Eugene kicks his own mother out of the restaurant. Once again, greedy bastard. Planton wallows in his self pity as Karen continues nagging and lagging on in the other room about how her "screen needs some dusting." Plankton longs to have a real woman to hold in his arms and not some cold, hard-shelled computer. He needn't wallow any longer as alas, through the looking glass of the Cum Bucket's entrance doors, Plankton's eye catches sight of Mam Krabs as she exits the Krusty Krab. Plankton busts out some binoculars to get a special look and special it is as we're treated to some archive footage of a live-action crab. Plankton also catches sight of some red head being chased around some house by David Morse of all people, but that's another movie's story. Plankton is apparently into old broad's as he ogles over her in front of Karen, who is appalled that Plankton has become attracted to another woman while still being married to her. Plankton brings up that she's a cold, heartless, machine, which causes Karen to break down knowing how Plankton really feels about her. Plankton wishes she came with an off-switch, and with what luck, one conveniently pops up in the corner there and he presses it, shutting Karen down...for now. If only women did come with off switches, amirite fellas? I'm so gonna get my ass kicked for that. Plankton shrugs it off and prances on to woo that beloved creature. Yuck. The next morning, he uses his giant sex machine to wait outside her bedroom window since Mrs. K doesn't have hair that can run along the entire Great Wall of fucking China. He simply punches through her window and grabs her and pulls her outside (not gonna lie, that made me lol watching it) before reciting the best pick up line of all-time, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue". Yeah, I wish. If that were true, I'd be getting all sorts of tail fin right now, but I digress. Plankton finally manages to woo her by destroying the town and causing all sorts of casualties because Mama Krabs gets a kick out of that, I guess. Next, Plankton struggles to ring her up a booty call because, well, the phone is too big for him. When he finally calls her, he's overwatered himself and begins panting into the phone, giving Mama Krabs the wrong idea and she hangs up. After going through this nautical nonsense again, he finally tells her that he's her undercover lover. She assumes he's the giant robot, but Plankton is taken aback and claims that he was the one that designed the giant robot before asking her if she got his present. She wants to know how he knew that she wanted a new vibrator and asks if he's spying on her and Plankton, being the poor desperate loser that he is, has indeed installed about five hidden cameras all around her house but he cover it up by saying it was a lucky guest (because women needs a vibrator, ask the broad who sells the sex toys on WE or Oxygen late at night. Not that, I would know). Plankton tells her that they must meet in person and she agrees (remember kids, always meet up with horny people you don't seem to know. Oh, and accept their gifts, be it vibrators or candy), telling Plankton that she'll meet him at the Krusty Krab at 8 (but be at home by 11. OH!). Plankton informs her that he'll be the tall fellow with a red carnation (Oh Sheldon, you're stooping to all kinds of low now). That night, Mama Krabs arrives for her date, but her son, frightened for me money, forces Spongebob to hide his wallet up his butt, which he does. Eugene tells her that he can't give her any money today because Spongebob had accidentally stuffed his wallet up his ass. Wow. Eugene notices that he has the hat and vibrator she's been wanting without his financial assistance. He tells her that he went out of his way dig her up a new hat of his own, which he literally swiped from a dead woman's casket. Mama Krabs orders him to put his hat back into crapper he dug it out from, prompting Eugene to have Skodwarde return it for him. Skodwarde beams off but gets caught up in finding the treasure of One-Eyed Willie. Eugene reminds her that she shouldn't be wasting his inhertanc-er, her money on such material things, Mama Krabs informs him that she has a new man in her life to take care of her. Overjoyed since she has somebody else to waste money on her, Eugene agrees to have the Krusty Krab open late to assure her a nice, romantic evening. He has Spongebob to work overtime, without pay, of course. In what seems like a carbon copy of what happened in Skolliam Returns, the Krusty Krab has been made over to look like a five-star restaurant and Spongebob is once again waiting and breathing convulsively. Plankton arrives, but is obscured by the red carnation he's wearing. Spongebob shows him to his table and Plankton complains that he can't reach his silverware, prompting Spongebob to tell him to, "stick them up your ass when you do reach them." Spongebob brings Mrs. K on over and seats her across Plankton. Plankton compliments her looks as ravishing (Rick Rude) and Mama Krabs can only squint her eyes to see who the hell is talking to her. She calls Plankton a "cute little thang" and wants him to tell her some things about himself. Plankton tells her he's in the food business, a "resteraunteur", so to speak (you've hit rock bottom, Sheldon). He founded the Cum Bucket, which she has never heard of, and who can blame her? It's only right across the street and who uses phonebooks nowadays anyway? Eugene catches wind of Plankton and confronts him, inciting a hit or miss scene where everybody says each other's name and then Eddie Murphy comes in all like, "DONKEY!" Krabs asks his mother is Plankton's her date and Spongebob reminds them that "this sexually deviant sponge is your waiter." Eugene goes to kick Plankton to curb, but Mrs. K orders him to stop and cradles Plankton in her arms. Eugene argues that "he's me mortal enemy!" but Mrs. K sends Eugene to his race car bed for the rest of night before heading off to the Chum Bucket with Plankton in tow. In Eugene's room, Spongebob asks him if he's feeling it now and Krabs tells Spongebob to "git yer dick off of me, boy." The next day, Plankton is hand washing a pair of Mrs. K's granny panties, which he begins to smell profusely, when Eugene H. Krabs comes barging in telling Plankton to "stay out of me mother's pants!" but sees her panties in hands and nearly goes under cardiac arrest. Plankton tries convincing Krabs that he's changed and that it only took the love of a cougar to make him realize the error of his way (REDEMPTION!), but Krabs isn't buying it (get it, cuz he's cheap) and shoots out some scathing accusations that Plankton is only dating his mother just so he can get the Krabby Patty secret formula off of her. Plankton starts getting some ideas and Krabs explains that the formula is an old Krabs family recipe (nice one, genius, but at least it follows continuity. Somewh and Plankton ISN'T family. This strikes a nerve in the minuscule menace as he begins pondering to himself, "Not family, eh? Well I can fix that." *raepface*. At the Krusty Krab, Mama Krabs confronts Eugene about interfering in her love life but Eugene insists that Plankton is just trying to seduce the Krabby Patty formula right from under her (let that image simmer in your imagination). She informs Eugene that Plankton hasn't once asked about the formula and claims that he probably doesn't even know that she knows it (smooth move, Eugene. Bravo. No wonder why everybody hates ye in these post-movie episodes). She sends Eugene to his race car in his office, NOW! As Eugene is once again harassed in bed by Spongebob, Plankton arrives they exchange flirtatious, no doubt disgusting the customers eating. After that nonsense is done with, Plankton finally proposes to Mrs. K and Eugene, deciding to grow a pair for once, springs into action and lands in his mothers arms, crying and begging her not to marry that bad man (I stand corrected). Mrs. K returns the ring to Plankton and tells him that she's just not ready for that type of commitment, I mean, it's not like MRS. Krabs made a similar commitment before. Plankton accuses her of seeing another and his giant sex machine comes awakwardly barging in with full-on vibrator action activated. Plankton accuses her of leading him on and in return, he demands the secret formula (okay, so was this all apart of the plan or...) but Mrs. K has apparently been eating her spinach since she's old and blows Plankton down and out of the Krusty Krab for trying to use her to get to the formula (you don't hear Coca Cola having these problems). As he blasts off again, Plankton tells our viewers "Well, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at- *SPLAT*." I probably would have agreed to what he was saying, but Plankton inadvertantly turned Karen on (hurrr) and accuses her of crawling on back to him. This pisses Karen off and she compels him to finally "dust her screen." Whatever that may mean to you. Meanwhile, Skodwarde foils the Fratellis and uses the treasure of One-Eyed Willie to save Conch Street from being demolished. And not one fuck was given that day, literally. 67b. Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy Forever: The Quest For Peace One day, the evil Kelp-Thing parked at a parking meter without paying. Who's there to stop him?! Look, up in the air! It's Jerry Van Dyke! No, it's Mermaidman! Senile saviour of the deep and his slightly younger sex servant, Barnacle Boy! "Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy, UNITE!" they cry out before slapping dicks and springing into action! (so much exclamation, so little time) In what looks like something out of a PSA they tell Kelp-Thing about the repercussions of his heinous actions by refusing to fill the meter but Kelp-Thing must do what he must do and that is flying into the air because he was just driving a car for shit's and giggles. Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy call in a tow truck to tow away Kelp-Thing's car and Kelp-Thing now has the displeasure of having to go to the DMV. A fate worse than doing time and even death itself. Mermaidman wraps this PSA up by telling the viewers to eat their vitamins and say their prayers, brother! Fin. The camera pans out to reveal that this PSA was being viewed by the Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy Fan Club (NEEEEEEEERRRRRDS) as the president is all like, "Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy, UNITE!" (because there hasn't been enough yelling in this episode already) and all the club members and Spongebob and Patrick slap dicks with each other. The president brings up that Warner Brothers Studios (fuck trademarks) are currently in production of the new Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy movie! And every ody fangasms at the news. The president says they have special guests here tonight as they have somehow paid off George Clooney (in a return guest spot) and Chris O'Donnell (whose stock has gone up slightly since starring in NCIS: LA) to make a publicity appearance. Clappy makes a cameo and goes off on how they're not the real MM & BB. George informs him that this is a dark and gritty action movie and that those two old farts are too campy and decrepit to star in a dark and gritty action film. Clappy argues that they're timeless and Patrick concurs by yelling, "Yeah!" (thank you for that contribution) Clappy thinks he speaks for everyone by saying that he sincerely thinks no loyal member of Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy Society would sit back and watch this heaping piece of diarrhea shit, celluloid hoax! For Christ's sake, it's like taking the "Mutant" out of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"! It's an abortion of the superhero community and it should be damned to the deepest circle of hell because it's gonna fucking suck so much dick, it's not even funny! Clappy tries to rally everybody to boycott this movie, and that's the last we see of Clappy for one episode as he, Spongebob and Patrick are all beaten up and shunned by a bunch of nerds. Meanwhile, Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy are playing a rousing game of BONKO at the Shady Shoals Retirement Home and Mermaidman yells at Barnacle Boy to "Get your dick off of me, woman!" Spongebob and Patrick barge in and inform our heroes on the recent developments. Barnacle Boy says that WB can't make a movie about them without their consent, so instead of suing them for all they're worth, they decide to make their own movie as Mermaidman jizzes dust for the first time in half a century at the thought of finally being a big screen hero and Patrick once again exposes his gonads. Spongebob says they'll get back at Warner Brothers and their actors by making a better movie than they could pull out of their ass. Mermaidman wants vindication before wondering why he's wearing a bra. Yes, they are all idiots, aren't they? And scene transition! At the Krusty Krab, Spongebob and Patrick are hard at working on a script in what is a humorous take on what we at the Skod Crew certainly go through while writing up episodes out of our own asses. They decides to title it, "Adventures in the Underground City" (cross-promotion FTW) and it's about a city! And it's underground! And they have an adventure! The end. And that's "Adventures in the Underground City" in a nutshell (embraces for scathing backlash). It looks good on paper but it seems a tad bit short, so they decide to...make it longer!(Home Depot must be out of lightbulbs by now) Yes, everything's better when it's longer! (that's what she said) they decide to throw in some time traveling and parallel universe for shit's and giggles as Mr. Krabs walks in on their thought process. He asks what they're doing and Spongebob tells them that they're making an indie movie. Krabs tells them that he has cinema's next big star (emphasis on big) right there as he points to Pole. Spongebob agrees to let her appear, but Krabs was talking about the Krabby Patty in her hands as a form of product placement. Pole starts to cry and Spongebob gets her to STFU by assuring a role in the movie anyway as Pole orgasms at the thought of being a movie star. Spoiled bitch. On set, Spongebob introduces our delusional duo to the rest of the crew; Sandy who's working stunts and explosives (as in bombs), Pole who is our leading lady, Mr. Krabs who's catering the affair at a hefty price of course, Patrick who's working the camera, and Skodwarde who's their assistant. Skodwarde refuses to be a bitch to a man who wears a d-cup bra, bringing up all the nautical nonsense they have been through in past MM & BB episodes in the process. Spongebob appeases Skodwarde by informing him that he'll handle their makeup as their personal "makeup artist". Realizing that all these years of being a makeup guru on YouTube has finally paid off, Skodwarde uses his god powers to make these two old farts sizzle. After comparing penis sizes with Barnacle Boy again, he gets straight to work. He conjures up a flamethrower and staple gun and gives our heroes a whole new paint job in what looks like something out of Hellraiser. Sandy likes her job a bit too much as she starts blowing up all over the set. She could really further her career by working for Michael Bay. Plankton comes in cosplaying as Man Ray and gives a rather robotic audition with his improvised "Man Ray Ray" which is actually a fleshlight. Spongebob is rather unimpressed but Plankton insists that this role was made for him. Spongebob confirms that that villain isn't even in this movie (darn it) but decides to make Plankton the smooth operator because he apparently has the budget to fund all these expenses. Filming finally commences after three hours of this nautical nonsense and Mermaidman tries pulling off his best Christian Bale impersonation for 69 takes in a row before taking things a bit too seriously and starts raging on-set. Pole is crying like a bitch Bevause her daddy promised that she'd be a star and Krabs assures her that Mermaidman will be going nowhere without her. That turns out to be quite literally as she's been casted as the "Invisible" Boat Mobile. Clappy must be raging about this somewhere, I'm sure. Things go haywire as the harness hauling Pole's ass up breaks loose, resulting in many casualties but Spongebob is only worried about the footage as Patrick reveals he didnt want to lose the lens so he put on the camera before they started filming. Spongebob proceeds to do unspeakable things that defies description as everybody watches on, gasping. Mermaidman tells Spongebob to calm the fuck down and does his best Shatner impersonation to tickle his fancy. Spongebob thinks it's as good as it's gonna get and gets Patrick to film this. Bada bing, bada boom, it's all said and done and we're awaiting for the premiere at the Krusty Krab. It's (un)surprisingly empty as Mr. Krabs weeps at the thought of having to close early get no money out of it. Until...you know how I said Clappy wasn't gonna appear again earlier? I lied, as he leads the pack of the Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy Fan Club, having apparently changed his tune to get back in the club's good graces. Spongebob knew Clappy and the others would rather see the REAL MM & BB movie, but Clappy informs him that the real movie was sold out (as in real life) and proceeds to use his week's pay to buy 200 tickets for everybody because Clappy is generous like that (and he works in Hollywood, you know). This is what Mr. Krabs calls "a happy ending". After various previews of films people either does or do not care about, the movie finally begins. We're treated to a stop-motion representation of Fort Knox, home of the Patty Vault, where the evil clay mated Kelp-Thing plans to steal every last Krabby Patty in a piss poor plot. Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy arrive to stop the foul fiend and the audience plainly sees Mermaidman's stunt double, Sandy, as we're treated to a five minute fight with Skodwarde in a cardboard kelp suit that leads nowhere and doesn't advance any plot lines whatsoever. After some nautical nonsense involving wind in space, Mermaid credit cards and the infamous Mermaid and Barnacle nipples and crotch shots, Mermaidman finds himself at Kelp-Thing's mercy, who mockingly tells our senile savior, "It looks like you need some...KELP!" and help does arrive in the form of Barnacle Boy as he saves Mermaidman from bad puns. Kelp-Thing may have won the Krabby Patties, but the battle rages on! We are then treated to some archive footage of Bruce Lee before Mermaidman and Barnacle, UNITES! and the movie ends with them slapping dicks with each other. That vague ending does no favors as Spongebob and Patrick fangasms over their own movie. Movie is deemed a critical failure and I'm sure Clappy will bring us the box office statistics soon, hopefully. Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy thanks Spongebob and Patrick for making them feel young again and they treat them to some Vietnamese. Skodwarde, on the other hand, gets a walk-on role in Prometheus as that alien and Sandy finds success working under Michael Bay (hurrr hurrr). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 68a. Patrick Smartass One day, Spongebob and Patrick were having a gay old time at Jellyfish Fields (ya know, like the Flintstones) and they share some pretty intimate moments that I'm sure would cause Skodalgics to think that it would make Hillenburg turn in his grave if he were actually dead. Anyways, after a sporting game of shirts vs skins, Spongebob chases Patrick in order to stop him from making a touchdown. Spongebob tells Patrick to "watch out for that tree!" but you know how Patrick's an "idiot?" yeah, it applies here as he crashes into the tree, but not before shouting out "You shall not pass!", and plummets down with the tree into a seemingly rough ravine. Spongebob speeds his way down there to save his best friend, but only sees what looks like his head sticking up out of the ground (sick minds, rejoice). He yanks Patrick's head out, but only gets head (hurrr). He looks into the small hole to see if the rest of Patrick is buried alive like Ryan Reynolds in that one movie but is startled yet oh so very pleased to see Patrick casually walk up to him with a pretty nasty head injury, if you ask me. Since the laws of physics don't apply in Skodwarde, Spongebob simply pops Patrick's head back in. Meanwhile, deep with the confines of Patrick's head, the wind of change of change starts blowing and the cogs in his head begin moving as the plug finally gets an extension to reach the outlet to what Patrick calls "his brain". You know you're dumb if your brain has accumulated dust and cob webs. You should also know you're dumb if you actually think the brain works like clockwork, but I digress. A brain surge course through Patrick and he does the People's Eyebrow (as most smart asses do) before declaring that he finds all this incessant laughter at his expense to be highly illogical and somewhat monotonous. Spongebob tells Patrick to stfu and do some more Jellyfishing. Patrick, on the other finds the jellyfish to be a majestic and rare species that should be salvaged in the name of science. He performs a jellyfish call before dissecting one of the little suckers and proceeds to suck all the jelly out of it. Patrick comments that the jelly is where the heart is. Spongebob complements on Patrick's sudden use of big word, but Patrick claims that his vocabulary has been "infinitely expanded". Spongebob asks him "you know what else is being infinitely expanded?" as he begins rubbing Patrick's chest in an obviously seductive matter. Patrick declares that sexual innuendos are now much far below him as he vehemently denies Spongebob's advances. The little square dude tries to arouse Patrick by sexily catching a Jellyfish with his "Ole Reliable". He tries showing off to Patrick, but Patrick informs Spongebob that he too has captured a Jellyfish in his sketch book, in a manner that does not barbarically disturb the Jellyfishes delicate ecosystem (coming from a guy that gutted and sucked one dry in cold blood...er, jelly). Spongebob asks Patrick what he wants to do for fun, winking at him while doing so. Patrick simply wants to "admire the beauty and fertility of nature." The word "fertility" strikes a chord in Spongebob's laugh box (epic foreshadowing) and Patrick begins to tell Spongebob that only somehow as immature as he and the Skodwarde fans would find humor out of that in a juvenile matter. Spongebob: Nature is pretty. Patrick: Yes, quite! Spongebob: Pretty FUGLY! Patrick: Indeed... They overlook a cliff and Spongebob, finding the view to be quite romantic, decides to be more blunt with his advances and tries buttersexing Patrick from behind, but it illicits no pleasurable response from the fattest, pinkest starfish in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob tells Patrick that they should do something fun, prompting Patrick to invite Spongebob to partake in the televisual viewing of Cnidaria Anthozoa Zoantharia and profusely ejaculate to said Cnidaria Anthozoa Zoantharia with him, but Spongebob, taking Patrick's place as "idiot" in this episode, declines not knowing that Patrick was basically inviting him to jerk off to some anemone porn with him. Spongebob's idea of fun is more like scissoring, spooning, fingering and all that lewd stuff. Patrick doesn't find any of those barbaric acts to be fun, so Spongebob tries getting him in the mood by telling some momma jokes like , "yo momma so fat, when she goes into the theater, she sits next to everybody!" Patrick is offended before informing Spongebob that his mother is quite sensitive about her body mass index and feels that it's a matter that shouldn't be used as the basis of a joke at her expense. Patrick consults his invisible watch for the time and deems it to be getting late so he must bid Spongebob Bon voyage for now. Not realizing that Patrick was just insulting his intelligence, Spongebob prays to God that Patrick gets better soon. Selfish bastard. Later that day, Spongebob visits Patrick at his house and finds Patrick dissecting an interesting subspecies, which turns out to be the minuscule menace, Plankton, who is none to please about being on the receiving end of a probing for once. Spongebob invites Patrick to Skodwarde's for God knows what reason and Patrick decides to humor Spongebob by aiding him in his trivial pursuit (sponsor us, Milton Bradley!) Skodwarde is using his god powers to sexually role-play with the statue of himself from "Skodwarde, The Unfriendly Ghost. Skodwarde is dressed up as Hitler and proceeds to fondle the statue while reciting miscellaneous snippets from one of Hitler's many diatribes. Patrick exclaims that he can recognize that speech from anywhere, "He, alone, who owns the youth, gains the future!" Skodwarde is aroused by Patrick's knowledge of Hitler asks him to role-play with him as his "Mussolini". They try to recruit Spongebob as Hirohito (we apologize, Asian readers who may be offended, we can't help that Spongebob just so happens to be yellow) but Spongebob just heads off to the side to go cut himself. Patrick wants Skodwarde to demonstrate his skills with a dildo and wants the squid nazi to take it from the top (hurrr hurrr). Skodwarde inserts it into his mouth and performs makeshift fellatio, but Patrick is disgusted by Skodwarde's sloppy display. He yanks it away from Skodwarde and begins to show Skodwarde how it's really done with the "proper technique", but realizes that he doesn't have knowledge of where else this dildo may have been and simply hands it back to Skodwarde saying, "Practice makes perfect, I suppose." Spongebob comes waltzing in like a kamikaze, blowing on his own dildo, but Patrick stops him right there and reminds this good chap that this particular scene involves Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini only. Heartbroken, Spongebob leaves as Patrick begins being subjected to Skodwarde's sadomachochism. Not even lasting five seconds into their scene, Patrick had ENOUGH! of Skodwarde's sloppy work and tells him that he can find himself a new Mussolini and to take this quarter and have a rat gnaw that penis off his face before barging out of Skodwarde's lair. Spongebob catches wind of this and rushes to Patrick's side and is all like, "Now that you have some free time, let's make some love." But Patrick once again vehemently denies Spongebob's advances, once again sporting the People's Eyebrow. Patrick tells Spongebob that they shouldn't be friends anymore since they have quite obviously grown apart by miles. Spongebob takes this pretty hard, but Patrick tells him to grow some gonads and that perhaps their paths shall cross again someday (yeah, how about everyday since you two practically live next to each other). Patrick bids him au revoir and Spongebob breaks down into a fetal position as their friendship ends. An unknown amount of time later, Spongebob hopes to rebound with Sandy, but Spandy fans are in for a rude awakening as Spongebob looks on in tears as Patrick and Sandy have themselves some chemistry. Spongebob makes his leave, but in the Treedome, Patrick pisses Sandy off by ridiculing her 69 position mid-intercourse. Sandy kicks him out and tells him that she liked it better when Patrick "was easy pickings!" Later that night, Spongebob faps to his My Friend Patrick album on Facebook. Patrick, on the other hand, is far too intelligent and sophisticated to engage in such barbaric acts of sexual pleasure and simply reminisces the glory days as he sifts through his My Friend Spongebob album on Facebook. Patrick cries a little inside as he resolves to get his old chum back no matter the cost! Later that morning, he puts his plan into action by kidnapping Spongebob, who is all too pleased than he should be by this act. Patrick tells Spongebob that they are going to engage in various activities of the "fun" variety that shall tickle both their fancies. Spongebob jizzed in excitement at the thought. Patrick wants them to partake in one of their bi-daily conjugals in their locale of choice, Jellyfish Fields. They (well, at least try to) do their thang and Spongebob screams, "Oh yeah!" while Patrick awkwardly exclaims, "Oh absolutely! as they reached their sexual climax, but it just doesn't elicit any pleasurable emotion from Patrick. Patrick asks when did they started to drift apart and Spongebob bluntly (hee blunt) answers "ever since you George of the Jungled that tree." Patrick tries to re-enact the events of that day and jumps off the cliff yet again. Spongebob heads down to find Patrick without his head (meh, you know the drill) but it pops back out about one minute later. Spongebob asks Patrick if he feels different but Patrick says he is quite unchanged. Patrick asks Spongebob where exactly he had located his "head". Spongebob says it was right there, but Patrick finds that to be highly improbably and busts out his fun dip and bada bing, bada boom, he manages to find his dislodged cranial cap. Spongebob questions what it was that he had found and it turns out to be motherfucking brain coral of all the god forsaken things there is to be found deep in the ocean. Somebody report this finding goddammit! The wonders this brain coral can do for the scientific community! But no, they turn Patrick back to normal and they proceeded to make love in the middle of Jellyfish Fields in one of the most scientifically disappointing endings in Skodwarde history. Jesus Christ...selfish bastards. 68b. SkodBob TesticlePants One day, Skodwarde is dressed up like Charles Manson as he goes on a political tirade in front of a crowd of Skodwarde fangirls. They shed their hair in honor of Skodwarde and claim him to be their favorite of the show as Skodwarde duck walks into a crowd surf. This, however, turns out to be some inception bullshit and Skodwarde awakens to find himself once again heading to his dead end job at the Krusty Krab, but is optimistic that things will turn around for him at the upcoming Nazi Rally in town. He blows on his trusty dildo for good luck to help get him through yet another dull and depressing day where squids are not yet reigning supreme over the other lesser and inferior species in the ocean. Spongebob is also getting ready for work to the tunes of Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend". Spongebob greets Skodwarde as he makes his way out the door and decides to annoy him on their way to work.Spongebob asks Skodwarde why's duck walking all the way to work and Skodwarde replies that he is practicing for the upcoming Nazi Rally in town where his peers and equals shall recognize the second coming of the Third Reich that is Skodwarde Testicles. Skodwarde says his final goodbyes to "Spongeboob" before he gasses the town at the rally and Spongebob tells Skodwarde that he'll see him at work, not taking anything Skodwarde says or do seriousy, and who can blame him? It's not like Skodwarde nearly wiped out the entire jellyfish population single-handedly or anything. Yes, we're still on that. Spongebob heads to Sandy's for some sloppy seconds, but finds that she is hard at work on this mechanical device. Shocked at seeing a land creature, let alone a female land creature, create such a device from scratch, Spongebob decides to go ahead and annoy her too. He inquires about the device and Sandy tells him that it's a matter transporter, design to transport anything at the blink of an eye. Looks like somebody's been watching their Jeff Goldblum movie collection. Sandy demonstrates by inserting a vibrator into the transport and proceeds to move it from one place another at the blink of an eye. Spongebob asks about where it ended up, to which Mrs. Peabody replies, "Just where you think it would be." and we cut to Puff Mama in the middle of a Ritalin-induced sermon at school. She begins to feel a tingling sensation before blowing up. Spongebob asks for a ride home and Sandy complies. Spongebob then asks if she could transport him to work since he's running late and Sandy agrees, always wanting to test the transporter out with a critter. Spongebob beams off to the Krusty Krab as Skodwarde reaches for the door. It interferes with Spongebob's arrival and Skodwarde finds his hand to stuck to Spongebob's junk. Sandy's machine starts going haywire and Sandy's stereotypically all like "what in tarnation?!" as the machine beams Spongebob and Skodwarde back. This causes them to become fused together and Sandy nearly has an orgasm at the sight of such a monstrosity. Skodwarde throws a bitch fit about how he can't attend the Nazi Rally fused to this yellow sponge and demands Sandy to defuse them at once. Sandy suggests putting them through the transporter again, but they simply mentally scar a child and a new mother and inadvertently end the blooming relationship of Mac & Me. Don't blame me, blame the material. They beam back looking the same. Sandy says she has been working on a new invention that might just may or may not help their situation, but it's still in the embryonic stages (hee hee embryo). Skodwarde tells her that she better start steppin' and she does, telling our boys to keep their heads up, but it's hard since it's fused together. Spongebob takes some sort of sick pleasure out of this whole situation but it only fuels Skodwarde's misery. They ride a bike to work, prompting some poor guy to lay off the hot sauce. Mr. Krabs berates them for the umpteenth time about not making him some money. They reveal their monstrous form, prompting Eugene to damn near jizz himself at such a monstrous sight. Despite their plight and not even wanting to know how they came to be this way, he simply tells them to get back to work. I wish I had such an understanding boss like Mr. Krabs. Spongebob begins flipping that meat and Skodwarde chastises Spongebob for being such an ass kisser. Spongebob corrects him by saying that everybody knows he is not an ass kisser, but a "dick sucker." Having enough of this drivel, Skodwarde inches his way towards the cash register and takes an order, but Spongebob can't reach the buns. Mr. Krabs barges in yet again and asks what the fuck's the hold up, despite it being just a few seconds into their shifts. Spongebob assures his boss that he'll be right on it and Mr. Krabs tries to light a fire under his ass by saying "time is money." Greedy bastard. After some slapstick and Skodwarde abuse thrown in during the making of this apparently almighty Patty, Krabs, being the omnipotent S.O.B. he is, barges in yet again and tells them that he can't have them jeopardizing me business and tells them to GTFO and that they're more trouble than they're worth. He tells them not return until they get this problem sorted out, leaving us to speculate how the Krusty Krab stays in business with pretty much their entire staff not there. I digress, but Krabs is such an asshole. Spongebob tries to comfort Skodwarde that they still have each other. Ugh. Skodwarde tells him to STFU while he blows on his trusty dildo while practicing his duck walk. They walk past Zack Ryder, who is all like, "Woo woo woo! Take care and spike your hair, freaky bro!" as he begins fist pumping at them. They head to Sandy's and inquire about her invention from earlier. She tells them about her Molecular Separator Ray which is prety self-explanatory. Skodwarde tells it "hello" and demands to be separated now kthnx, but Sandy was apparently too busy fingering herself all day since she is still putting the damn thing together. She tells them she'll have it done by the Day After Tomorrow (how's that for subliminal). Skodwarde throws another bitch fit, saying that his rally IS TOMORROW! and that he can't afford to be seen with that "yellow freak". After all this racial taboo subsides, Sandy supposes she'll have to have to move some things around that isn't her fingers in her vajay and assures Skodwarde that she'll have it ready before he makes his speech. They had back home and despite being stuck together all day, they don't quite seem to comprehend that they can't enter their separate houses so Skodwarde uses his god powers to bring their homes closer together, claiming that he just doesn't give a fuck anymore. The next night, the Bikini Bottom Ampitheater proudly presents...Skodwarde as all the skinheads from across the creation roll in on their motorcycles and four wheelers and jeeps and their trucks. Spongebob and Skodwarde are still fused together as Skodwarde checks to see the audience seats fill up with Neo-Nazis. Knowing the dire consequences if his fusion with Spongebob is let out, Skodwarde uses his god powers to go hang himself but Spongebob encourages him to go on with his hate-filled tirade, saying he shall look back on this day when he finally becomes the leader of the real Thousand Year Reich. This is more than enough to light a fire under Skodwarde's ass to go out there and be the best damn Hitler impersonator he can be! He drapes a cape over them to hide their deformities and Skodwarde duck walks out in awe. He goes on with his unintelligible hate-filled tirade but yet, it appeases the audience to no end until the cape falls off and their fused form becomes public knowledge as everyone in the audience nearly have an orgasm and jizzes themselves at such a monstrous sight. Zack Ryder, who happens to be attending this Nazi Rally, eases the awkwardness as only he can be being all like, "Woo woo woo! Take care and spike your hair, freaky bro!" The skinheads take offense to this and proceed to bury Ryder for his insolence (like his in-ring career thus far). Everybody then start going batshit insane as they applaud Skodwarde tremendously, cuz you know, they're primarily hicks and rednecks, and Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Pole are there too for some reason. Skodwarde ponders that this must be what real power feels like, looks like, hears like, smells like and tastes like (all the makings of a dictator right here, just ask Mussolini). Before Skodwarde can usher in his Thousand-Year Reich, Sandy barges in and makes things go from good to bad like she normally does in most of her appearances by using her Separator Ray on our unwilling twosome. It actually works and Skodwarde and Spongebob are finally separated as the nazi crowd suddenly becomes unimpressed with our resident squid nazi. Skodwarde tries to win them back by pinning the blame on the Jews, but he causes Old Man Jenkins to nearly shit himself as I type this as we speak. The skinheads are no longer impressed by Skodwarde's charisma and they all start taking off on their off-road vehicles. Skodwarde decides to use his neglected god powers to fuse him and Spongebob back together, but Sandy, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Pole, Puff Mama and Hunka Hunka Larry (for some reason) gets sucked in along with them. Next, we see Skodwarde on Dr. Phil in an episode titled, "I'm Surrounded By Idiots". The sight of their fused form nearly makes viewers worldwide to orgasm and jizz themselves at such a monstrous sight as Skodwarde begins telling Dr. Phil that the trouble all started for him when he was born...Excuse me while I throw some iodine into my eyes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 What happened to 65 (Selling Out / Funny Pants)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 What happened to 65 (Selling Out / Funny Pants)? It appears I overshot that one. I can probably write it up if nobody else is up to it, since I pretty much forgot about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 65a. Selling Out One day, Mr. Krabs breaks out into song and dance about how much of a greedy bastard he really is and how he treasures money over his only child and even kills the World's first and only underwater bird mid-song instead of doing the greedy thing and selling it to science and whatnot. Eugene pulls off that high note like a boss at the end and Skodwarde tells him not do that again, implying that this isn't the first time this has happened. The lunch rush rushes on in, trampling over Skodwarde and causing a few Skodalgics to die a little inside. Having enough of this abuse on set, Skodwarde quits the show, saying no one appreciates his work and that the only reviews for this show came about because of "stupid fucking dares!" and how he is continually getting less and less screentime in some episodes just so they can have episodes reolving around Puff Mama and Gary of all the god forsaken characters on the show! He is also not amused at the thought of taking a pay cut just so they can splurge large amounts of money on one trick pony guest stars! He sounds off on Clappy, Wumbo and OMJ for applying these post-movie changes and storms off the set. This creates quite the dilemma for the Skod Crew as they can't continue producing Skodwarde if there's, ya know, NO SKODWARDE! Just then, Howard Blandy (played by Donald Trump) comes strutting in with his suit and tie entourage and offers the Skod Crew a deal of a lifetime in exchange for the rights to Skodwarde. Knowing they can't do jack shit without faith from their star, they decide to sell the rights to the show to Blandy (who is about as bland as Donald Trump can get). Blandy goes on to proclaim that this has been his best acquisition since "purchasing" Monday Night Raw back in 2009. He appeases to Skodwarde to return in exchange for some change he knows Obama could never provide. He changes the entire format of Skodwarde and instead of a nazi, he becomes a former billionaire real estate tycoon who tries to keep his Skod family together despite their greed and materialism and all that jazz, with that head of hair he's never wanted. It's kind of like Arrested Development, more or less. Skodwarde's a bit weary of these changes but learns to get used to it. Spongebob and Patrick are recasted with Jerry Seinfeld and Rosie O'Donnell respectively and Mr. Krabs is eventually ousted in favor of Robert De Niro. Sandy, Puff Mama and Plankton were scrapped all together. The format would later be shook up to be "more real" as Skodwarde would party at nightclubs in Joysey, Miami and Italy of all places. Skodwarde would wed four wives at once and make 8 babies with each of them, tallying up to "32 Skods & Counting". It all came to a head when Skodwarde got into it with Rosise (as Rosie usually does with almost everybody she's ever worked with) in Italy, resulting in Skodwarde banging his head against the wall (can't blame him. I would too if I were forced to work with her) Jerry could never get what the deal is with airline food, so Skodwarde is forced to fly coach while Seinfeld enjoys the wonders of being first-class. The Blandy takes things a step further by cutting Bikini Bottom off from the outside world by encasing it in a glass dome, in which everyday life is scripted and recorded for our viewing pleasures. Meanwhile, Wumbo uses his newfound fortune to buy the presidency of Canada, Clappy invests his money into his career in Hollywood and finds himself working under James Cameron, and OMJ enjoys three blow jobs a day from the comfort of his own private island in the Hawaiian Island chain. Skodwarde experiences superstardom by becoming a contestant on the Celebrity Apprentice and makes it all the way to the final two, but ultimately comes up short against Hulk Hogan. He hosts the Ms. USA pageant, proceeding to have sexual relations with one of the contestants without knowing that she used to be a guy. Skodwarde was also devastated to know that most of them didn't even knew who Adolf Hitler was during the T&A (hurrr). The Blandy would also have Skodwarde support Republican Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, and had him use his god powers to sway voters over in a few not-so-subliminal ad campaigns. Skodwarde would also have a new manager, Carl, who is a total toolbox in every sense of the word. Skodwarde decided one day that enough was enough and decided to confront Blandy with a well thought out and organized LIST OF COMPLAINTS! Carl would interfere and advise Skodwarde not to or else he would be put into a meeting with Human Relations, who turned out to be Flats in a broom closet pumping on his penis pump. Not amused, Skodwarde would use his god powers to make sure that Carl wouldn't get that raise and powered his way through Human Resources before ascending the crystal clear tower all the way up to the Blandy's office, overlooking all of Bikini Bottom like the God Donald Trump certainly sees himself as being. Skodwarde displays his displeasure by using his god powers to blow up all the glass window on the building simultaneously, but Blandy is unphased. The Blandy says that Skodearde's ratings have been through the roof and has been setting record numbers, even the Skodalgics are supporting the show once again under watchful all-seeing eye. Blandy explains that he can't afford to have things reverted back to the way they used to be now. Skodwarde threatens to quit the show, but Blandy tells Skodwarde the piercing truth that he isn't the "be all, end all" here. Skodwarde is just another spoke on the wheel that will simply keep on turning far long after Skodwarde has gone away from public eye because that's how the media and show business works nowadays, apparently. He tells Skodwarde that he is expendable and that he has been negotiating a primetime television deal for Skodwarde on Monday nights on CBS and that if he has to replace Skodwarde with, say, Adam Sandler, then so be it. It would be no skin off his bones because viewers will continue to eat this shit up like ice cream covered in chocolate sauce despite all the naysayers out there. Not wanting Sandler to once again tarnish a legacy, especially his, Skodwarde is forced against his will to stay on board, but later decides that it's just not fucking worth it anymore and makes a break for it. The Blandy catches wind of these events and sends his Ms. America super soldiers after him, saying that no one leaves his kingdom alive. Word of Skodwarde's "contract dispute" hits the newswire, as well rumors of the possibility of Adam Sandler being brought in to replace our squid nazi. Once Clappy hears of this news, he leaves production of The Titanic II and heads out to gather the Skod Crew to liberate the rights to Skodwarde from the Blandy. Wumbo immediately stops lobbying to have Wumbology taught in Canadian schools and flies out in Canadian Air Force One to pick up OMJ, who is of course last to find out about all of this because he's living on some rock in the middle of the ocean. Meanwhile, Skodwarde pews pews his way through waves of Ms. Americas before finally reaching the exit of the dome at it's outer edge. The Blandy goes on loudspeaker, like when God spoke to Moses, in order to convince Skodwarde to stay because even he doesn't want to work with Adam Sandler. Skodwarde tells him that, "In case I don't see ya, FUCK YOU, goodnight!" but before Skodwarde can properly exit, Wumbo flies Canadian Air Force One straight through the Blandy Dome and into the heart of Bikini Bottom, causing many casualties, no less. Skodwarde heads to the wreckage and meets up with his true creators. They all decide to band together in order to take their show back. Skodwarde uses his god powers to enhance the writers before they fight their way through more waves of Ms. Americas with Clappy using his patented ancient art of the clap styled Clap Dance, OMJ taking a page out of one of his other famous written works and brandishes me mallet to bang everything in sight, and Wumbo goes all Rambo in hockey gear. Skodwarde uses his pew pew eye lazors to provide suppressing fire. When they finally reach Blandy Plaza using their super sprint, they find themselves coming face to face with Rosie and Seinfeld. OMJ proceeds to bang Rosie into submission (remind me to delete this later) as Wumbo fangasms over Jerry's jacket before beating him down with his hockey stick in a series of quick time events before crying out, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" They make their way to the lobby right as Adam Sandler arrived to negotiate a contract with The Blandy. Finally coming face to face with his mortal nemesis, Clappy steps up to the plate to take this demon on. Clappy vows that Sandler shall never sully the reputation of Skodwarde and that he MUST DIE before giving him The Clap (hehe gonorrhea). Sandler does one of his many vocal grunts he usually does in his movies before "releasing the evil" (ah, Little Nicky. A movie I actually liked) that is Jack & Jill upon Clappy. Clappy takes out the terrible twosome with his Clap Attack but Sandler comes back with some offense by using his devil eye beams to blast Clappy into a wall before "releasing the good" that was Spanglish, but it wasn't effective on our resident Clapmaster to change his opinion. Sandler then spawns a bunch of Baby Sandlers to attack Clappy and his allies like a bunch of bats out of hell. Clappy gives two of them The Clap, OMJ bangs two more (with me mallet), Wumbo gave two more a couple of "Calzones" while Skodwarde kills the final two with his two-handed Hadouken. Sandler, in an act of desperation (as if he weren't already desperate enough) calls in the Happy Madison Crew to help him take on the Skod Crew. In came Deuce Bigelow, Joe Dirt, Bucky Larson, The Zookeeper and...that zebra from Madagascar. Skodwarde and Bucky Larson compared penis sizes before Skodwarde used his god powers to castrate him with a rusty carving knife (you know, to give him a taste of how the few movie goers who watched his move felt...myself included). Joe Dirt tells Wumbo, "Things are gonna happen for me. I'm Joe Dirt!" and things did happen as Wumbo stuck his hockey stick halfway up Dirt's ass. Wumbo asked him if he was alright and Joe Dirt said, "Yeah, I'm cool." to which Wumbo shot back, "No, you're not." before setting Joe Dirt ablaze with his Cuban Cigar. Deuce Bgelow goes Animal on OMJ before OMJ swats him away with me mallet and calls Deuce, "a disgrace to Filipinos everywhere!" before going in for the kill, but Deuce transforms into Rachel McAdams which catches OMJ off guard. "Girls! My only weakness!", OMJ cried out before proceeding to bang McAdams...with me mallet(?) The Zookeeper sends out his elephant that never forgets...TO KILL after Clappy, but Skodwarde uses his god powers to tranquilizer the beast. Before Clappy can move in on the Zookeeper, the Zookeeper gives Clappy crabs (hurrr) as Clappy cries out, "CITIZEN SNIIIIIPS!!!" before enticing The Zookeeper with some grey poupon (you know, cuz he's fat) and using this diversion to finish him off with his 1000 Claps of Death for letting his career take a downward spiral after King of Queens. The Skod Crew focus their attention towards the zebra, who's all like "sure, team up on the black guy with white stripes! Or am I a white guy with black stripes?" As this talking mammal ponders his quandary, the Skod Crew executes him with a four-way HADOUKEN! Clappy once again sets his sights on Sandler, who has been using their fight with the Happy Madison Crew as a diversion so that he can transform into...The Zohan. The Zohan has Clappy smell (smell it, smell it) his foot and then makes him eat it. Having enough of this nonsense, Clappy nails the Zohan with a Shoryuken, giving Skodwarde and Wumbo the opportunity to fire eye lazors and hockey pucks at him in mid-air before OMJ sends him crashing down with a Big Bang Attack. You don't mess with the Zohan like that, as he gets up for more, prompting Clappy to give him The Clap, ending Happy Madison's tyranny once and for all. With this nautical nonsense over and done with, the Skod Crew ascends Blandy Tower to take their show back. OMJ bangs on the doors, taking a good five minutes to get them open, and they proceed to surround Blandy in his office. They demand the rights to the show back, but The Blandy isn't feeling generous today (does he ever, really?) before shooting money at them (I wish I had money to throw around). The Skod Crew team up on Blandy, but The Blandy manages to deflect all of their attacks, being powered by his own greed and ego to overwhelm them (because greed and his ego are universal). Skodwarde manages to weaken him slightly by using his god powers to remove his toupee. Blandy tells them that even if the Skod Crew somehow manages to find a way to defeat him, the wheel will keep on turning and the rights to Skodwarde will still be his as he has a plethora of Apprentices to step up in his place to rule over his empire when he's gone. Clappy and OMJ (having watched WWE during the time of The Donald's purchase of Monday Night Raw) resolve to pay Blandy double what he paid them for the rights. The Blandy takes the offer as he was paid back his investment and then some, even putting the Skod Crew into some debt in the process. Blandy takes his media empire and leaves Bikini Bottom, freeing it from tyranny once more. Clappy, Wumbo, OMJ and Skodwarde celebrate by going out for some Vietnamese. And we are shown about three minutes of that dinner after the end credits roll, but not before we're treated to a post-credit scene of Carl getting that raise from Blandy, himself, stating that this isn't the last we've seen of him. And the less you know, viewers...the better. 65b. Funny Pants One day, Spongebob got up bright and early to wake Skodwarde up for work like the stuck up prick he's become. Spongebob tells him "another day, another dollar." but uses his god powers and says that it's more like, "another day, another nickel." This tickles Spongebob's fancy and he laughs like Fran Drescher on crack. They walk together to work and Spongebob laughs all the way there. Not amused, Skodwarde uses his god powers to tell Spongebob that it's wasn't that funny, but Spongebob says that it's funny because he used his god powers like he does in every episode and begins to make the joke feel redundant and overused. Spongebob finds it to be so funny that he humps Skodwarde's leg as they make their way through the swinging glass doors. Skodwarde uses his god powers to fuck him off and sends him flying into the Krusty Krab kitchen as Skodwarde takes his post behind the cash register and begins reading some Mein Kampf. This also tickles Spongebob's fancy as he Fran Dreschers it up behind the window and mocks Skodwarde's book. Skodwarde uses his god powers to get a Krustomer their food and Spongebob busts a nut as he does so, pro ting Skodwarde to rant about how "IT'S NOT ZAT FUNNY!" and begs for someone to "MAKE ZIT STAWP!" Spongebob continually walks from Mr. Krabs office to kitchen, laughing at Skodwarde as he tries to read more Mein Kampf. Skodwarde uses his god powers to to close up shot, inciting more of Fran Drescher's cameo appearance as Spongebob's laugh. Spongebob finds it necessary to harass Skodwarde as he makes It all the way to his house, shutting the door in Fran's face because he didn't want the makeup she was selling nor her services as a nanny. Spongebob tells Skodwarde, "Thank you! Good night!" before laughing all the way to bank. Skodwarde spends the rest of his night crying himself to sleep as Spongebob spends the rest of his night laughing at that too. The next day at work, two EMTs are waiting for the food over a conversation of always checking a body for spare change (I'll keep that in mind). Spongebob brings them their food, telling them that he used his...GODPOWERS! And they all just laugh and laugh like a bunch of babbling idiots as Skodwarde grabs his copy of Mein Kampf like the Bible and praises to Hitler to stop his laughing tormentor! Skodwarde then uses his god powers to rupture Spongebob's "laugh box", causing him great side pain. Realizing that this could be "his chance", he confronts Spongebob and tells him that he doesn't look well. Spongebob's dazed and confused as Skodwarde tells him to SIT DOWN and sticks a dildo in his mouth for good measure. He asks Spongebob if his "sides have been splitting?" and Spongebob says that it has. Skodwarde tells him that his temperature is OVER 9000 DEGREES! Spongebob stupidly asks if that's bad, and Skodwarde says not really...unless he's been laughing a lot. Spongebob says that he has been laughing a lot lately and Skodwarde, apparently being an expert on this medical stuff, he tells Spongebob that he should ease up on the laughing, lest he wants to burn out his laugh box (aye yaye yaye). Skodwarde says that if he doesn't give his a laugh box a break, it'll burn out...and cause his gonads to fall right off. Spongebob asks if it's happened to Skodwarde, which could explain his lack of genitalia and Skodwarde replies, "Yes-I mean, NO! This is srsbsns!" If he burns out his laugh box, he'll never have sex again. Spongebob begins imagining himself having a threesome with Patrick and Sandy while inside a modified iron butt (which would probably make it an iron dick) which results in Patrick and Sandy leaving him hanging while they go at it. Not wanting that to happen, Skodwarde advises Spongebob not to laugh for, say, ever, 24hours at the least. Spongebob gets right on that but finds it hard once Patrick starts doing some slapstick with a banana peel. Spongebob pleas for Patrick to stop, telling him that he can't laugh. Patrick farts, the stank causing Spongebob to hold his face and run away, leaving Patrick to say, "my fart jokes usually knock him out." (THANK YOU!) Skodwarde catches wind of this and uses his god powers to cause a truck carrying whoopee cushions to crash and leak it's contents all over the road, making it even harder on Spongebob with this one big fart joke. Skodwarde makes things worse by using his god powers to make a pie careen off the road and crash right into the whoopee cushion truck, creating even more nautical pie-related slapstick on the poor schmucks that were driving. Spongebob resolves to leave Bikini Bottom (as evidenced by the going away street sign). Spongebob digs himself a grave (as I'm sure some of you maybe doing after reading this) and waits there until dawn (Dead By Dawn). He tries to let out a chuckle but gets nothing he checks tosee if his penis is still intact and it is before he spazzes out all the way to Patrick's house. Patrick decides to have a closer look and probes him, getting lost in one of his many holes. Spongebob goes to the wrong person to ask for any help whatsoever, Mr. Krabs, and Krabs tells Spongebob once again about the wonders of money and how he always gets a kick out of knowing there are poorer, less fortunate people out there than him. Spongebob doesn't see the humor in this and Krabs says this is pretty drastic but tells Spongebob to "touch it." Spongebob places a hand on Eugene's iron ass but it doesn't do the trick. Spongebob decides to see Sandy since she's a scientist or something of the sort. She begins telling him the exact process of how laughter is secreted from the body, making it sound painful (because science makes everything sound painful, no wonder why the Church condemned it). She gives him books upon books about the relativity of humor, laugh mechanics and of course, the Quantum Giggle Theory. And she's supposed to see a squirrel of science? What the fuck am I saying? A SQUIRREL OF SCIENCE?! The whole premise of this show makes no sort of scientific sense whatsoever! Science on this show is a fucking oxymoron! Sigh, I digress. Meanwhile, Skodwarde is looking out his window, admiring the Jellyfish and wearing a Kippah (which both goes against everything that has been established about Skodwar) since it is actually a peaceful day for once now that Spongebob is borderline suicidal. Skodwarde takes pleasure in Spongebob's groans of pain as Skodwarde laments how hates seeing the yellow guy so sad...but not as much as he hates seeing him happy! (ROFLCOPTER) Later that same evening, Skodwarde is blowing on his dildo when the sound of Spongebob's incessant crying interrupts his jam session, giving Skodwarde something else to hate about Spongebob other than the fact that he is a sponge. Spongebob proceeds to cry himself to sleep as Skodwarde's house grows a pair of arms to cancel out the excess noise. Spongebob's trail of tears flood Skodwarde's house, washing him out of his house. Enough is enough and Skodwarde decides that this charade must end now. He knocks on Spongebob's door and is once again flooded by what looks to be jizz now. Spongebob laments over his loss of laughter but Skodwarde smacks some sense into him by saying that he made the whole thing up to get break from his incessant laughter (then what the hell did he rupture walker?). Spongebob wants to get things straight (ha) and comes to the conclusion that this was all a cruel, sick joke at his expense that sent him down into a spiraling depression, making him contemplate killing himself constantly, CONSTANTLY, these past few days even though he had the power to laugh all this time (what the fuck kept him from laughing?). Now that he puts it that way, Skodwarde says it sounded about right, perhaps even better than how he originally planned it. They both share a good, hearty laugh for once as Skodwarde tells Spongebob that even fell for the dildo in the mouth routine. Spongebob doesnt see the humor in that before telling Skodwarde to GTFO. All this laughing causes Skodwarde to rupture his own badly treated and misused laugh box and the two EMTs from earlier (see, that scene made sense) conveniently arrive and check him for change before taking him to Weenie Hut General where laugh box related surgery is performed. Skodwarde comes to to see himself surrounded by his very few acquaintances; Spongebob, Sandy, Mr. Krabs and Puff Mama. They tell him that he broke his laugh box and that they had to cut it out. Skodwarde starts showing signs of a seizure when the doctor comes him to assure that his laugh will be stronger than ever since one of his acquaintance kindly donated a part of theirs to him. Puff Mama said she's got to pay bills, Eugene said they wouldn't pay and Sandy is just a bitch like that before Spongebob takes off his pants to show his surgical scar. Somewhat touched, Skodwarde tries to muster up a few words of thanks but is interrupted when he starts laughing like Fran Drescher on crack. He and Spongebob share one big, hearty laugh once again as Skodwarde begins to realize the severity of his situation and decides to jump out of his room in order to kill himself. Spongebob comments that now he will share his gift of laughter with the world. What a happy ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Sponge Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Is it wrong that I'm suddenly reminded of Total Cartoon Island/Action while reading through this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Superb episodes, BROMJ. You deserve a break. Have a Kit-Kat, and I'll pick up the next one. (Or the one after that, it seems, given that Clappy wanted to do Krusty Towers/Puff Mama, You're Fired.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Is it wrong that I'm suddenly reminded of Total Cartoon Island/Action while reading through this?I don't know if the Skod crew should be offended or complimented by these remarks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted June 14, 2012 Author Share Posted June 14, 2012 Sorry for the delay, but I am lazy. Here is 69a. 69b. will come up shortly. Oh and I tried my best to avoid raping the fact that this episode is number 69 (hehe) 69a. Krusty Hostel Krusty Krab employees Skodwarde and SpongeBob, along with their friend Patrick, are heading over to the restaurant as they prepare for another day of work. After partying the night before, they meet a fish named Nat who informs them about an undocumented hostel nearby filled with beautiful, desperate, dildo-loving women. The three subsequently board the krusty train on which they meet Mr. Krabs, whose bizarre behavior puzzles the trio until he places his hand on SpongeBob's knee, causing SpongeBob to jizz. The three leave the train at an odd village, and check into a local hostel created by Mr. Krabs called the Krusty Towers, finding themselves sharing a room with two beautiful single women, who invite them to the disco. At the disco, SpongeBob is saved from a gang of impoverished children looking for money and bubblegum by Mr. Krabs. The next day, a young Japanese backpacker named Shinya, approaches Skodwarde and SpongeBob, who are searching for Patrick, informing them that one of his many lady friends, Yuki, is strangely missing as well. An MMS photo sent from Yuki's phone shows Yuki and Patrick, with the word "Sayonara" beneath it. A while later, they spot a man wearing Patrick's swim trunks. Not long after, Skodwarde and SpongeBob receive a second MMS photo message from Patrick's phone, in which their friend appears in a nude photo shot with the text "I go home". Then, the scene shifts to the source of the photo, revealing Patrick's severed head sitting on a table. Skodwarde and SpongeBob decide to leave with Shinya the following day. Skodwarde uses his god powers to reveal that the photo of Patrick and Yuki has been faked. Although SpongeBob is anxious to leave immediately, Skodwarde talks him into staying just one more night, so they can have sex with the two whores one more time. SpongeBob reluctantly agrees. Later that night, while partying with these whores, Skodwarde and SpongeBob are slipped tranquilizers. SpongeBob stumbles back to the Krusty Towers while Skodwarde passes out in the disco's storage room. SpongeBob wakes up handcuffed to a chair in a dungeon-like room. Mr. Krabs comes in and starts torturing him, telling him about his unfulfilled dream of being a hotel owner. After slicing SpongeBob's Achilles tendons and seemingly allowing him to leave, the now unable to walk SpongeBob is killed by Krabs as Krabs tells SpongeBob that he must never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request. Skodwarde returns to his room where two women invite him to a spa, eerily similar to the whores he and SpongeBob have been fucking. When the local police chief proves unhelpful, Skodwarde learns that these two whores actually have names, Jenna and Barbara. He interrogates them on the whereabouts of SpongeBob and the girls eventually agree to show them where he is. Once Skodwarde enters the factory, he shockingly witnesses Mr. Krabs cutting open SpongeBob's corpse. He is then ambushed by thugs and taken to a cell and learns that he was sold. He is restrained in a chair and joined minutes later by a German client, Adolf. After trying to reason with him with his similar beliefs in Naziism, Adolf calls one of the thugs to silence him with a ball gag. He prepares to kill Skodwarde, however Skodwarde begins to vomit, where Adolf takes the gag off and torments him and then accidentally cutting off two of Skodwarde's fingers, he unknowingly severs Skodwarde's restraints, but is also unaware of Skodwarde’s god powers. Adolf slips and cuts his own leg off with his chainsaw. Skodwarde gets out of the chair and shoots Adolf. Skodwarde shoots the guard that comes in by pretending he's still in the chair. He escapes the cell and hides in the bottom of a cart piled with corpses. The man with the cart goes to the bottom floor of the building. In this floor he finds the stitched up corpse of SpongeBob. He kills the cart pusher whose job is revealed to be the one that incinerates the bodies. He goes up and makes it to a dressing room. He meets another American who has also come here to join an organization called the Bubble Blower Society game. He asks Skodwarde questions on the experience believing that Skodwarde also paid. He discovers Shinya being tortured by the American he met and frees him, killing the American. The two flee in a car, accidentally meeting Jenna and Barbara. Skodwarde steps on the accelerator pedal to run them over. Barbara dies instantly, while Jenna survives the hit by a Volvo, but she is then run over by the car chasing Skodwarde and Shinya. With the help of the child gang from earlier, Skodwarde and Shinya elude the guards and head to the train station. When Shinya sees a reflection of his disfigured face, he jumps in front of an oncoming train, while Skodwarde gets on another train. Aboard the train, Skodwarde hears the voice of Mr. Krabs. They arrive back in Bikini Bottom, he follows him to a public restroom and throws the Bubble Blower Society's card under his stall. When Mr. Krabs reaches to pick it up, Skodwarde cuts off two of his fingers, holds his head underwater and, when Mr. Krabs sees Skodwarde's reflection, slices his throat. Skodwarde then boards a train leaving Bikini Bottom for good. Skodwarde then wakes up as he realizes that this was all a dream and he was actually in Weenie Hut General with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs. Patrick just realized that this was a hospital as Mr. Krabs creamed himself over realizing how expensive hospitals were. Krabs then tells the boys to pack their bags because they are going to medical school. Then Mr. Krabs turns to the screen and uses his good ole trollface. And yes this was a semi-parody of torture porn flick Hostel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 While Clappy procrastinates... 70a. Ghost Host It's hard times for the Flying Dutchman. He doesn't seem to have the ability to turn anyone on anymore. Destitute, he decides to drive his ship off a cliff. But SpongeBob, ever the meddler in people's lives, notices this and tells Dutchie to Stop What He Is Doing. When Dutchie asks why, SpongeBob suggests he change his name to a Beatles song. Sick and tired of sense not being made, Dutchie continues to head for the cliff. Finally, SpongeBob decides to allow Dutchie to stay at his place. The Flying Dutchman thinks that such generosity deserves a reward. Thus, he introduces SpongeBob to the world of ghostly foreplay. Surprise attacks! Dismembered body parts at breakfast! Dramatic music! At first, SpongeBob is at first, but soon he gets tired of Dutchie's antics and tells him that he's seen it all, man. Ungrateful bastard. Dutchie decides that in order to regain his status as a sexual icon, he needs to arrange a ghostly orgy. And arrange he does. SpongeBob comes home one day to discover every type of kinky ghostly being getting it on with another. Horrified, he asks everybody to leave. He tells Dutchie that he's just not ready to take it to the next level, and politely asks him to leave. Dutchie refuses, so SpongeBob decides that there's no choice except to show him one of his more "shameful" videos, which is an old video of him attempting to perform a striptease. After viewing, The Flying Dutchman asks if he can be excused for the rest of his life. SpongeBob tells him that Dutchie doesn't want to end up like the unsexiness that is himself, so he needs to get back in the game. They experiment new foreplay techniques on people across Bikini Bottom, but nothing seems to work. Then SpongeBob has the brainless idea of going to Skodwarde's to experiment on him, somehow forgetting that Skodwarde is a sex god and has definitely seen it all. The Flying Dutchman attempts to woo Skodwarde, but he remains unamused. He decides to call his blessed virgin mother and asks her to call off the booty call. When his mother replies that she sent no such thing, Skodwarde, the all-knowing and all-powerful, is confused. This allows Dutchie to take full advantage of him, but Skodwarde soon gets the upper hand and gets on top. Disillusioned (IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S A GHOST), The Flying Dutchman decides to give up his sex life, knowing he will never amount to Skodwarde's genius. But before he leaves the Seven Seas forever, he leaves SpongeBob a thank-you gift for letting him crash at his place. SpongeBob opens it up to find ghostly condoms, to which he responds appreciatively. 70b. Chimps Ahoy Sandy is furiously building a vibrator to get herself in the mood. SpongeBob is obviously jealous (here at Skodwarde, we cater to a growing Spandy fanbase), so he bursts into Sandy's treedome without invitation, demanding to know what is going on. Sandy sighs (I think she gave a dreamy look to SpongeBob as well) and admits to SpongeBob that she is part of the sex trade up in good ol' Texas. She needs to get herself in the mood for her three clients arriving. But nothing appears to be working, as years of sexual repression have left her barren. SpongeBob, horrified, gets Patrick to help him (because fuck, why not) build the ultimate sex machine. Patrick insists on being called "Dr. Love", but nobody really listens to that oafish pink fuck. After hours of working hard, SpongeBob and Patrick finally devise a machine that induces all the foreplay tactics. Sandy is skeptical at first, but then sees her clients coming and realizes she has no choice. She gets into the machine and realizes that it's the best sexual pleasure she's had in years. But then Patrick presses a wrong button because he's a dumbass like that, and the machine goes out of control, spewing Sandy out, leaving her in a disheveled heap. The clients come in and turn out to be monkeys (hence the title, eh?) They see that Sandy is not ready for providing sexual pleasure, and decide to leave promptly, ready to report this to her boss. But one of them walks right int one of Sandy's failed vibrators, but strangely, he feels pleasure from it. They decide that Sandy's machines provide more sexual pleasure than she ever will, and tell Sandy that they expect "great things" from her. The monkeys leave their one night stand sexually satisfied, and hell, let's end right there. Epilogue: Skodwarde smites Wumbo for so little appearance in two episodes filled with sexual pleasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 I miss Shinya. Exemplary work, gentlemen! Lulz were had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Sponge Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Time for my guest write. May not be proficient as all the others, but who knows. 71A: Whale of a Blowjob In her bedroom, Pole was enjoying a good night's sleep until getting a special birthday announcement from famous, British, out-of-nowhere boy band "Boys Who Cry." Pole monologues how that day is all about her, describes all the things she wants, such as music, clothes, sex toys, etc., and wants the whole wide world to obey her every wim. Pole's fantasy turns off when she's wide awake and falls into the kitchen, where she is confronted by Mr. Krabs. ("LORD NEPTUNE'S TROUSERS, IT'S POLE!") Pole tells Krabs that about her special day. While having no clue, Pole screams at the top of her lungs loud enough to tell him that it's her 16th birthday....which is tomorrow. Pole then begs for Mr. Krabs to keep her promise of letting her have her first blowjob, and not be a big cheapskate, or else "she'll dropout of high school, never get a college education, never have sex, and be left alone with a cheapskate crab as her father." At Pole's High School, she meets up with her friends and tells her that she will have a totally coral birthday party. From what her friends think, it would end up rather shitty, like all the other 15 consecutively bad birthday parties, whilst contemplating the memories of said parties, which included condoms as party favors, surprise movie tickets for Bucky Larson, paper mache cake, and a fake pony ride. In agony of those devastating events, Pole unintentionally cuts class to cry her way over to the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs would proclaim that he already has the party favors: one vibrator. Pole is still upset and once again wants Mr. Krabs to promise her she will not be cheap, and then brings out a well thought out, organized list of what she wants. Skodwarde catches wind of this and tries to make sure Pole will have the worst birthday party ever, before Mr. Krabs puts Spongebob on a mission by giving him his Mastercarp. At the Bikini Bottom mall, Pole starts an off-topic conversation about Angela's kinky attitude over Brad, while Spongebob spots the first thing Pole wants. After that bit of shenanigans, it wasn't long until Pole goes around and compliments every other item as the best thing she ever saw in the entire fucking universe. Later on, Pole has her eyes on a seahorse, fearing of being suffocated by that whale, while Spongebob, in disguise, was already set on buying it, oblivious to its pain. During a montage, Spongebob buys Billy Fishkins (played by Steel Sponge), and a whole lot of other stuff that was worthy to waste money through Mr. Krabs' credit card. Pole and her friends then catch their eyes on the most expensive sex toy ever, later foreshadowing Spongebob into buying it. Back at the Krusty Krab, Skodwarde sabotages the place by using his god powers to change the banner into "It's a boy," for an additional future interpretation of Mr. Krabs as a molester, turning the cake batter into cardboard, turning the punch into jizz, aging the poporn into a much staler taste, and making a Pole sculpture out of dildos. Looking through the list again, Mr. Krabs reveals Pole wants boy band sensation "Boys Who Cry," followed by a blowjob with them. Skodwarde admits his like for said boy band, and as a second favorite, behind Blue Oyster Cult. Skodwarde also admits that those money whores pay a million dollars just to show up. In spite of Skodwarde's guilty pleasure, he uses his god powers to make the tour bus of Boys Who Cry crash, insuring that Spongebob wouldn't be able to get him to show up at the Krusty Krab. Spongebob arrives in time, as he and everybody else anticipate for Pole's return. Pole arrives with an ungrateful surprise. Thanks to Judy's legit and photographic memory of Pole's 16 consecutive ass pulling birthday parties, it seemed official, and they begin to leave until Mr. Krabs gives them the musical entertainment, in which Skodwarde calls it "Skod Roll'd." Before Pole's friends could throw the dildo statue of Pole, Skodwarde uses his god powers to teleport out of the Krusty Krab. Pole then cries her way out of the restaurant, comtemplating on attempting suicide until Spongebob arrives with the delivery truck, and Boys Who Cry, who have made it out live. Pole squees and orgasms at the sight of her perfect 16th birthday and gives the band members a blowjob. With the result, Mr. Krabs goes slightly broke and is considered a "good dad," Pole spends the rest of her day with her seapony until its dying fate, and Skodwarde spends the rest of his day watching a live showing of Boys Who Cry, until switching to anemone porn. 71B: Karate Nightclub Skodalgics: THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST EPISODE EVER, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT WAS VOTED #1 IN THE NONEXISTANT 24 HOUR MARATHON. SAME GOES FOR THE EPISODE ABOVE, STEEL HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST GUEST WRITER EVER. Put aside the angry rage from the pre-movie Skodwarde fans, the episode begins as we see Skodwarde end up at a strange nightclub where he could be crowned "King of Anemone Porn," foiled by an old greedy molester with GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS. He was named Master Jackon Off (played by Old Man Jenkins). Skodwarde uses his god powers to get out of the location scam and spends his day watching some Dragonball Z. Spongebob then prepares the "scrubbing of his life" as he jacks off with Gary's shell, making the inside clean. Revealed to be under the ood was a dirty, shitty mess, which has been like that since 11/11/11. Skodwarde then tries to seek revenge of being scammed and uses his god powers to pass it on, by creating a fake advertisement through a VHS tape, from a random mailman, to be given to Spongebob. Spongebob jizzes around in sight when he has the chance to be crowned "King of Karate" at a place known as "Karate Nightclub." Spongebob then practices his Bruce Lee-esque moves until Sandy randomly shows up where she claims the whole "King of Karate" thing as utter bullshit. Spongebob then decides to prove her wrong as they conveniently take a yacht to Karate Nightclub where they are greeted by Master Jackon (Off). However, Master Jackon isn't impressed with Sandy's "moves," and gives Spongebob a shot at being "King of Karate" by summoning his best fighters. Because they had such weak balls, Spongebob was able to beat them without a scratch. Master Jackon then commemorates Spongebob as the karate king as he takes him to his throne. Sandy meets up with Spongebob as she was offered a seat, and a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Spongebob then takes note that Sandy being jealous about all this. (*wink* *wink*) As Sandy storms off, Spongebob gets trapped while Master Jackon shows up and pulls out a dildo from his robe. Ignoring Spongebob's orders of calling for help long enough, Sandy comes back as she ends up in the *bloodcurdling scream* The Four Fucking Floors of Fear. In a Black Widow costume, Sandy appears in the first floor where she is confronted by a French Tickler, who is half fish, half feathered condom. Out of nowhere, Sandy pulls out a batch of riceballs, which the Tickler believes are a bunch of jelly doughnuts. Without another word, Sandy flings them into the Tickler's windpipe before advancing to the next boss. There, she comes across Cock Service. Its agile moves were good enough against Sandy, but then...out of nowhere, once again, Sandy pulls out a hair dryer. Because it's obviously not plugged in, Sandy tries to work it as if it were a gun without bullets. Sandy then results into throwing it right into the kisser. (BA DUM TSH) Sandy then faces against the third boss, known as Filthy Phil, the most kinkiest boss in the Nightclub. Filthy Phil's odor wasn't any match for Sandy's helmet, which extracts back to Filthy Phil, giving him a coma from his own filth. Due to time limitations, the entire fourth floor was digested into Skodwarde, courtesy of his god powers, with no evidence of the unamed boss' body. Sandy finally arrives at the top, only to be caged. Master Jackon then explains his real plan of luring Spongebob and Sandy into the NIghtclub: to make thousands through masturbation. Thus, the whole thing was a scam and Spongebob was re-confirmed as "King of Dildos." After a boring explanation of how he would succeed with his dildo sales, Sandy stimulates hard enough for the cage to break before Spongebob could be offered into this masturbation scam. In about 10 seconds, Sandy and Jackon get ripped instantly as they prepare for their fight. Before that would happen, Skodwarde teleports at the scene to get revenge against Jackon for scamming him once again with a fake "King of the Dragonball fandom" advertisement. First thing, Sandy uses her feet to break some bones off from Jackon while Skodwarde finishes him off with his pew pew eyelasers, knocking him into the ocean, to confirm him as just a character of the day. Skodwarde then goes back home to watch more anemone porn as Spongebob thanks Sandy for preventing him from buying a dildo. In loving memory of Pole's sea pony. (But since the 24 hour marathon would seem tragic, if this certain commemorative showed up, the NIck executives removed it permanently from future airings) Also in loving memory of the unnamed 4th floor boss. And in memory of Pat Morita, cuz he's awesome. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Superb episode, Steel Sponge! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Gnarly ep, Steel! Nicely done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Let's see how the Skodalgics handle my second guest write.. 72A: All Those Tears One day at the Krusty Krab, a customer ordered a Big Whopper Krabby Patty, which shocks everyone. SpongeBob then nobely accepts the task though. A big pile of God knows what was thrown on the grill. SpongeBob raised his trusty, spatuler, Spat. He attempted to flip the mighty beast....but Spat broke. SpongeBob then cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. And he kept crying. It got to the point where the customers began to leave, like some of you Skodalgics probably have by now. Eventually, Skodwarde got fucking sick of his crying, and used his god powers to magically make a new spatula appear. However, SpongeBob STILL cries because it is not the same! Skodwarde then makes two ear plugs appear for him, as he relaxed in peace. With his favorite kitchen implement out of commission, SpongeBob searches for a temporary replacement. SpongeBob finds "Steely Dan,” the latest in state-of-the-art cooking tool. The sleek and modern Steely Dan dazzles SpongeBob so completely that he will do anything to own one, as he jizzed in excitement. But will this fancy gadget fill the void that was left by his old trusty spatula? After selling everything, SpongeBob attains Steely Dan from the man from the store. Skodwarde used his god powers to purposely strip SpongeBob's clothes, taken by the man in the store, as the final cost for the Steely Dan, while SpongeBob posed for a picture for Playboy Magazine. He shows it off to Mr. Krabs, and, later, before it flips a patty, Steely Dan refuses. It says it is filthy, and that he and SpongeBob aren't friends at all. Steely Dan then suddenly grows robotic legs and runs off. Mr. Krabs confronts SpongeBob, and SpongeBob runs off to the hospital, STILL CRYING, where Spat lays. The spatula suddenly runs out of life as SpongeBob watches, and SpongeBob cries in agony for the thousandth time in this episode. Then, Dr. House appears, and, after some conversation, tells him that's not his spatula, and that Spat is in the infirmary. SpongeBob runs over to Spat, but Spat turns away from SpongeBob. SpongeBob CRIES AGAIN, and apologizes for buying Steely Dan claiming it was his moment of weakness. Skodwarde rises on screen, saying "All That Glitters is not gold....now please stop this fucking crying". SpongeBob jizzes out tears as he goes back to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob cries in the kitchen, but suddenly, he hears patties flipping, and sees Spat flipping Krabby Patties on the grill, and SpongeBob cries in joy...again. Apparently, Spat forgave him. Suddenly, another Big Whopper Krabby Patty is ordered. The two try to hopefully succeed in flipping it. Suddenly, SpongeBob's arms break off. SpongeBob ends up laughing, and the episode is over.Epilogue: Skodwarde appears and apologizes for how shitty this episode was. He promises its partner may or may redeem 72. 72B: Wishing You Hell After Mr. Krabs sees a child throwing a coin down a well (pedo style), much to his horror, he learns about wishing wells, and creates "The Krusty Well", in hope of making money from it. SpongeBob and Skodwarde are tasked with digging the well, and SpongeBob does all the work, singing a song about the well's magic while doing so, as Skodwarde just uses his god powers to make nazis mine for him. After the well's completion, SpongeBob obtains a "promotion" in which he has to stay in the bottom of the well all day and night to collect coins that fall in. After Sandy, Plankton and Puff Mama throw coins into the well and make their wishes, Patrick arrives and takes a dump in the well, thinking it was a bathroom. SpongeBob tries to explain to him that it is a wishing well, and Patrick mistakes the voice as coming from the "bathroom". He wishes that SpongeBob was here to see the magic bathroom with him, and when he tries to throw his coin into the well, he falls inside and meets SpongeBob at the bottom. That night, Mr. Krabs arrives to collect the money, and SpongeBob asks him if any of the wishes have come true yet. They say no, and Mr. Krabs falsely says that if they "believe hard enough" and "dig deep enough", the wishes will come true. The two buddies take this literally, and begin to dig the well deeper. Eventually, SpongeBob finds a glowing crack on the ground and claims that he has "found the magic." Skodwarde later comes to the well to tell them how good it feels that they aren't able to bother him. SpongeBob tells him that they found the magic, and Skodwarde, laughing at them, explains that there is no magic and that wishing wells are nothing more than a scam, and that his god powers suprass wishing wells. SpongeBob wishes that he could see the magic for himself, and Skodwarde falls into the well, and SpongeBob and Patrick's antics continue to torment him as he desperately tries to escape (yay for Skod abuse). Skodwarde says he is claustrophobic, and Patrick thinks he is afraid of cocks, so he strips his pants off and shows Skodwarde his pink penis. Skodwarde then is irritated, and steps into Patrick's crap from earlier, and then lays his elbow in Patrick's ribs. The next day, Mr. Krabs arrives to check on the well as Skodwarde finally climbs out, with SpongeBob and Patrick following. Skodwarde wishes to get as far away from the well as possible, and is subsequently hit by and stuck to the front of a bus going to Germany. Mr. Krabs asks SpongeBob how much money they made, and SpongeBob explains that they made no money, but found the magic. Mr. Krabs then tries to explain to him that there is no such thing as magic, but then sees that the wishes of Sandy, Mrs. Puff and Plankton have all come true. The skeptical Mr. Krabs still doesn't believe in magic, and tries to prove that magic doesn't exist by wishing to be "steamed and served with a side of melted butter". His wish is granted, and a human (played by Wumbology) prepares to eat Mr. Krabs, as he yells he believes in magic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 While Clappy procrastinated....more grand episodes were written. Well done Wumbo and awesome guest writes Steel and jjs. Btw this was a tough one to come up with...but here we go 69b. Puff Mama, You're Fired At Puff Mama’s Boating School, Mr. Belding, the superintendent, shouts “Hey hey hey hey hey! What is going on here?” He then starts talking to Puff Mama about renewing her teaching certificate, but informed her of the high record of failing students while doing his famous laugh about this. However, SpongeBob is the only student who has ever failed her class, but has done so 1,258,056 times...which the Skodalgics point out is numerically impossible and gives them even more ammo to gripe about. Puff Mama is told to show Mr. Belding everything she has taught SpongeBob, and within seconds, he fails yet another driving test by bashing in a boat. Mr. Belding fires Puff Mama to her delight since she dislikes SpongeBob. A new boating instructor named Sergeant Slaughter comes in and takes over the school. Sergeant Slaughter is a viciously cruel drill instructor who is proud to be an American. America! Fuck yeah! He immediately gives the cobra clutch to one student for talking, then throwing him out the door. Then he tests another sap by offering him a bonbon and then gives him the cobra clutch for eating, then throws him out the door. All the other students run away, except for SpongeBob, who is now Slaughter’s only student. Sergeant Slaughter sets up a difficult course, which he trains SpongeBob on. First he has to crawl, then walk, then run, and eventually drive. Of course goofy shenanigans ensue like SpongeBob’s hand getting caught on a vibrator, then spinning out and taking out pedestrians. Followed by SpongeBob getting distracted by a nickel and taking out even more pedestrians. Oh and SpongeBob randomly taking a boat apart and making it into a humping robot. However, Sergeant Slaughter gives SpongeBob a motivational speech as he tells him about the time he dominated a match by himself without a tag partner and how he wanted to destroy Kamala and put scars on his face and how the crowd chanting USA motivated him. http://www.youtube.c...h?v=-fpCUIj0bmE Surprisingly, this motivates SpongeBob and he masters this course…he becomes even better once he drives the course blindfolded. When the time of SpongeBob's final exam, which Mr. Belding personally comes to watch, SpongeBob realizes that he can only drive while blindfolded, and proceeds to take the exam with the same disasterous results. Sergeant Slaughter nearly dies attempting to stop his boat from destroying the city….and AMERICA. Mr. Belding realizes that SpongeBob is "unteachable" and rehires Puff Mama on the spot. Meanwhile, Skodwarde gets high off bath salts and gets busted for eating Scooter's face, but this scene gets taken down by the FCC due to it's graphic content and that this whole storyline was for poor shock value. It gets replaced with a happier scene involving Skodwarde befriending a talking dog that can sing. The Skodalgics send Clappy tons of hate mail in response. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 73a. New Leaf Plankton gives up his restaurant and turns it into a store that sells sex toys. The Skodalgics complain once again as they bitch about the overuse of sex toys on this show these days. Mr. Krabs doesn't believe this, and he tries to lure Plankton out with a naked Megan Fox standing next to a Krabby Patty. Just like Megan Fox’s film career, it fails, and Mr. Krabs decides to go into the Cum Bucket himself. He then confronts Plankton, and, in a rage, he destroys many of Plankton's vibrators, dildos, and blow-up dolls. Finally, Mr. Krabs realizes that Plankton is telling the truth about his surrender and walks away in shame…as Mr. Krabs’s heart grew three sizes that day. Later, Mr. Krabs calls Plankton, apologizes for what he did, and the two have phone sex for the rest of the night. The next day, Mr. Krabs decides to take Plankton to Transexual, Transylvanian where they proceed to do the time warp, avoid being killed by Dr. Frank-N-Furter, and get into a giant orgy while belting out musical numbers. After having so much fun, Mr. Krabs decides to share the secret Krabby Patty formula with Plankton. Plankton refuses to take it, but eventually, Krabs talks him into taking the paper. The scene fades to black, but after a few minutes, Plankton pops out a laughs evily with the formula held above him. Plankton reveals that the sex toy store was a trick to get the formula and prepares to read the formula. But it reveals to be a naked cellphone pic of Mr. Krabs in front of a mirror that says: "Gotcha! - ♥ Krabs". Mr. Krabs tells Plankton that he had fooled him with a bigger scheme. The episode ends with Plankton screaming in anger and frustration as Mr. Krabs jizzes while watching anemone porn on Karen’s hard drive. Meanwhile, Skodwarde breaks the fourth wall and heads out to the FCC to argue about what they did to his subplot in Puff Mama, You’re Fired. After much deliberation, the court rules that Skodwarde wins the lawsuit and they allow his subplot to become a feature length episode. 73b. Once Bitten (AKA That Episode That Parodies a Popular News Story With Fucked Up Results) Skodwarde walks outside to find his yard covered in Gary's slime-trail. He attempts to keep Gary away by building a splintery wooden fence around him. As he complains to SpongeBob about this, and Gary bites him. Skodwarde gets pissed and heads to his medicine cabinet to find his medicinal marijuana. He discovers that his prescription has expired and tries to find a suitable substitution. He then locates his Vanilla Sky. He puts in the DVD of Vanilla Sky and realizes that this movie would be so much better if he smoked his bath salt Vanilla Sky. Skodwarde then proceeds to do so causing him to have odd behavior. He then starts acting all paranoid and proceeds to leave the house. He starts to get an odd craving for actual flesh as he tries to cure his fix. He notices Scooter. He realizes that Scooter is just a recurring character who has long overstayed his welcome and attacks. He proceeds to start chewing off Scooter’s face. However, Scooter doesn’t die. He starts to have zombie like behavior. Skodwarde and Scooter start to spread the zombie behavior all around Bikini Bottom sending the town into mass hysteria and destruction. Everyone whose anyone is now acting like a zombie. Those who have survived the disease are hiding out at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob tries to get in, but they believe he is a zombie and will not let him in, until he slips through the doors. Old Man Jenkins suggests that they might all be zombies, and everyone starts panicking. A doctor named Gill Gilliam enters the building to put an end to the commotion, explaining that the disease is due to the cause of bath salts. When asked how to stop this commotion, two more people arrive on the scene, Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine. The two playable stars of the first Resident Evil game go on a zombie slaying massacre as everyone including Skodwarde take twelve shots each and all die on scene. After the episode ends with those who survived the Bikini Bottom Zombie Apocalypse, cleaning up the mess and of course with the whole usual reset with all the major and minor characters coming back to life acting like these events never happened…which is a major complaint with them Skodalgics. We here with The Skod crew would like to give a PSA announcement on why bath salts are no laughing matter. Here is a link to a site that shows how dangerous these substances are and why they should not be used as any form of drugs.http://www.webmd.com...ts-drug-dangers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Though I am not an official crew member yet, I've been given permission to write the next episode, since nobody else has: 74A: Bummer Vacation One day at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs receives a warning saying that Spongebob has worked too much without any vacation time, and that if SpongeBob does not take a vacation, he will have to pay a fine. So, Mr. Krabs sends SpongeBob on a vacation. Skodwarde snaps on why he doesn't get time-off, and Mr. Krabs threatens to strip his god powers. Skodwarde, not feeling it today, accepts it and continues lazily working. SpongeBob goes home, faps to Anemone Gone Wild, goes to bed, eats breakfast the next morning, flosses his buck teeth, showers, sprays deodorant on his dick, and repeats the cycle. He comes back to the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs kicks him out because that wasn't really a vacation. SpongeBob then asks what a vacation is and is horrified when he learns it means he's not allowed to work, causing him to shit his pants. He panics and Mr. Krabs tells him that Patrick will be his "unpaid replacement". SpongeBob realizes that he shouldn't remind himself of the Krusty Krab and that he is very hungry. Patrick is seen cooking the Krabby Patties incorrectly by putting them on his cock and not having the exact temperature. SpongeBob shows him how to do it correctly, but he is caught and is kicked out by Mr. Krabs' stinky boot. To remind SpongeBob of the Krusty Krab, he plays with his Krusty Krab playset where he moves models of him, Skowarde, and Mr. Krabs (one can only wonder how he got this). SpongeBob pretends that the Mr. Krabs model kicks him out, and then fucks him. The model of SpongeBob goes to his miniature pineapple and plays the same game. To relax, SpongeBob goes to Jellyfish Fields to jellyfish, however he sees reminders of the Krusty Krab. Now SpongeBob tries a series of attempts to get back in the Krusty Krab. Every time he tries, Mr. Krabs catches him. Finally, Mr. Krabs drives SpongeBob to a Lost looking forest where he commands him to fetch the spatuler, and then drives away, leaving him alone. SpongeBob fetches it and starts to think that this is a permanent vacation. Pissed at Patrick for trying to take away his job, he walks to Patrick's rock. When Patrick gets there, the rock automatically opens and he finds SpongeBob, who is seemingly going out of his mind. Patrick backs away, becoming extremely nervous at his friend's behavior. SpongeBob yells "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU PATRICK!" with a rape face, and we hear a loud scream from Patrick. We then see the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is frying the Krabby Patties in a Patrick costume. Mr. Krabs notices and announces that SpongeBob's vacation is officially over and that he didn't have to pay a fine or a blowjob (which was only a single nickel, much to Skodalgics facepalming). SpongeBob explains that he left Patrick at home watching Anemone Gone Wild on television in a brand new vibrator chair he got for him (which is why he screamed, in excitement of course) and happily returns to his job as a fry cook. 74B: Wigfucked One day, on One Direction's tour bus, Zayn Malik comes out of the back room and has a six-layered wig (with ribbons) on. His band mates tease him and one accidentally chucks the wig out the window playing monkey in the middle with the drummer. Skodwarde, who snuck on the bus, blasts a god power at the wig when Zayn catches it, and it goes flying out the window. He looks out the window as it flies away, right as SpongeBob is taking a walk, skipping happily. It hits his face and he falls on the ground. As he gets up he notices it's a wig and goes to Patrick's house. Patrick thinks a big pile of cum struck SpongeBob on the head and rubs it (and SpongeBob) forcefully on his rock. SpongeBob yells at him and Patrick puts him down, he then chews part of it off. SpongeBob asks why he did that, and Patrick thought it was a new type of condom that you wear on your head. SpongeBob says it is his new badass wig. Patrick thinks it's a stupid idea, then looks at his watch, and he says it's time for his weekly "cream soak". A bathtub randomly appears with a giant jar of white stuff next to it. Patrick goes in the bathtub and dumps the stuff all over his body suggestively, and he then asks SpongeBob for some privacy. SpongeBob walks to work with tons of fish laughing at him, thinking they are laughing with him. He then thinks his wig is making everybody be in a good mood. He enters work with a crowd surrounding him. They make fun of him and he thinks they all want wigs too. He walks backwards into the kitchen and tells Skodwarde that he'll be in the kitchen if he needed him. He made some Krabby Patties, while scratching his wig, causing a lot of wig hair to fall on the meat patty. Some customers tried the new recipe and weren't satisfied, as all of them left and Krabs noticed. He told SpongeBob to wear a hairnet or he leaves for the day. Sandy walks in the Krusty Krab while SpongeBob is delivering food. She was about to ask SpongeBob about Karate practice, took one look at him, and laughed her head off. In the next scene, One Direction's band is in a record dealers place. The manager said they are fired because Zayn doesn't have hair (not even on his balls or chest). The manager then says in Zayn's face that he better come back with hair somewhere, or the band goes back above land to England. The band tries to expose him to porn, but Zayn says he'd rather find his wig instead. The next day, Sandy walked to SpongeBob's house talking about how she couldn't talk to SpongeBob yesterday because she was laughing so hard that she nearly popped her cherry. She knocked on the odd double sized door and saw SpongeBob with the wig on, she put her palm on his elbow and said they needed to talk. As they were walking through Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob was talking about how his wig brought so much attention. They went in the movie theater, and watched "The Vow". SpongeBob sat in the front row and a lot of female fish with their husbands that looked like they were forced to come to the movie yelled at him because the wig blocked 75% of the screen. SpongeBob turned around and said there is no need to start a riot, but Scooter decides to start a riot, as everyone pulls out torches and pitchforks. SpongeBob screamed and ran out of the theater with the riot chasing him, he passed the ticket holders and one said that they knew that movie was terrible. In the next scene, SpongeBob and Sandy are walking through the fields, and they walk up to the cliff and SpongeBob makes a speech. Sandy says it is time to let go, and so SpongeBob does. He then lets go of the wig and it flies away, SpongeBob then falls on the ground crying that he'd never accessorize again. We then see Zayn walking through Bikini Bottom screaming stuff about his career is ruined. The wig then slaps him in the face and Zayn realizes it's his old one. He puts one foot on a trash can and cheers victory is his, and that One Direction will be the new fangirl obsession of the seas. In the next scene we see SpongeBob's head down, walking through Bikini Bottom and seeing all these fish with Zayn's wig. He then feels betrayed and walks up to a fish that teased him the other day and complains. He tells SpongeBob to look at a giant sign that says One Direction, and the whole band is wearing the wig, he then realizes that he was cool before anyone else. The fish says he isn't cool anymore, but Skodwarde appears and makes the fish disappear to god knows where. Skodwarde says that SpongeBob doesn't need a wig to be cool, and that Skodwarde isn't hopping on this bandwagon. Patrick then walks by SpongeBob and he's relieved that Pat's not wearing a wig. He takes off his pants and SpongeBob sees a mini wig attached to his penis. Patrick lets SpongeBob borrow it, but says to wash it before he returns it. The episode ends with a disgusted SpongeBob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Well done jjs! I shall return later today with two more episodes for your viewing pleasure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 Not exactly as I planned, but I got them done. 75a. Skodtastic Voyage At SpongeBob's House, Patrick and SpongeBob are dancing to David Guetta (as himself) and his funky fresh beats. The music is shaking Skodwarde's house as he is trying to masturbate and Skodwarde tells them to turn that shit off, but the music is too shitty as it overpowers and accidentally causes Skodwarde to swallow his vibrator. SpongeBob comes over to Skodwarde's house and tries to get the vibrator out. He gets some of it out, but not all of it. The head (giggity) is still in Skodwarde's throat, causing Skodwarde to make vibrating sounds. Skodwarde is taken to Sandy's Treedome where Sandy tells SpongeBob about her new invention which includes a penal submarine that she is going to shrink, so she can remove the head from Skodwarde's throat. She entrusts SpongeBob with the responsibility of guarding the penis and SpongeBob does so by walking around, looking out for any trouble. Patrick walks by and encourages SpongeBob to guard the penis inside the penis. They go in there and guard it when Patrick presses the shrink button, shrinking the penis. Sandy comes back and notices them. She guides the penis through Skodwarde's ass. There, SpongeBob and Patrick start to hit parts of Skodwarde’s reproductive organs, causing Skodwarde to lose self-control and jizz all over the Treedome. For a moment, SpongeBob and Patrick actually fight each other for control of the penis and land in Skodwarde's stomach, where the gastric acid starts to eat the submarine away. Patrick thinks of an idea: If Skodwarde can drink beer, then bubbles would surround them and it would refuel the penis. Skodwarde drinks a case of beer and the plan suddenly starts to work. They travel through the throat where SpongeBob removes the vibrator head by doing what he was born to do: suck head. He sucked on it so hard that the head became wet and lodged out of Skodwarde’s throat. SpongeBob returns to the penis. Now that the job is done Skodwarde wants them out of his body and tells them to get out of it : Patrick mishears this and presses an erect button. Sandy, SpongeBob and Skodwarde say, "No!" at the same time and then we see Skodwarde come to work at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is startled when he sees the giant penis in his stomach. At the end, in the penis, Patrick complains about the toilet being clogged and Skodwarde gets frustrated. Skodwarde eventually gets them out of his body by having the same crew from the 1966 science fiction movie Fantastic Voyage go inside him and defeat the penal submarine. He then proceeds to go home and drinks so he can forget the bane of this episode’s existence. 75b. Pink Momma's House FBI agent SpongeBob has been identified in an illegal underground dog-fighting arena in Korea. SpongeBob is ordered to be killed by a Korean boss, but is rescued by his undercover partner and master of disguise, Patrick Star. Suddenly, FBI agents storm across the arena. Meanwhile, a criminal named Unnamed Salesfish who was originally serving a life sentence for murder and armed robbery, escapes from his prison cell by killing the doctor and stealing his car. The FBI assigned Patrick and SpongeBob to capture Unnamed Salesfish, and sent them to Bikini Bottom to stake out the house of a large elderly African American woman named "Pink Momma", the estranged Southern grandmother of Unnamed Salesfish's ex-girlfriend, Evelyn who supposedly aided Unnamed Salesfish in his original bank robbery by giving him the key to the vault. After Pink Momma unexpectedly leaves town to help her friend within a couple of weeks, Patrick and SpongeBob sneak into her house to plant security cameras and tap the phones. Evelyn calls Pink Momma's house, and Patrick disguises his voice as Pink Momma in order to lure Evelyn and possibly obtain a confession. The plan works, and Patrick and SpongeBob work together on a Pink Momma disguise costume before Evelyn's arrival the next day. Evelyn arrives at Pink Momma's house along with her 10-year-old son, Monroe the next day, but Patrick's inexperience with cooking and strange behavior prompt Evelyn to believe that Pink Momma might have gone senile. Patrick also has to deal with Pink Momma's lecherous boyfriend, Old Man Jenkins, act as midwife who has gone into labor, and attend self-defense classes under dim-witted security guard, Paul Blart, whom Patrick handily defeats and humiliates in front of all the other old women. After Patrick almost damages the suit during the night, he attempt to sneak back to the safe house where he and SpongeBob are staying, but Evelyn caught him on the porch, and Patrick poses as a "handyman" after just barely hiding the suit in a bush. Patrick and SpongeBob repair the suit, and when Patrick leaves town with Evelyn, SpongeBob searches the safe house for any trace of the money Unnamed Salesfish had stolen from the bank, but to no avail. Patrick also bonds with Monroe when he defends him against the two older guys, who were mean to Monroe and kicked him off the court so they can play. They beat the boys at basketball, amazing Paul Blart and Monroe. Patrick, as himself, also begins to bond with Evelyn and Monroe, accompanying them on a fishing trip. After Patrick return to the safe house with SpongeBob that night, Paul Blart bursts in and attempts to arrest Patrick and SpongeBob for dismembering Pink Momma. Patrick and SpongeBob identify themselves and reluctantly recruit Paul Blart to help them out, promising Paul Blart that Patrick and SpongeBob will recommend him for a place on the FBI if he succeeds. Patrick, Evelyn, and Monroe go to church, where the Reverend (JCM in a cameo) calls on Patrick to speak. Patrick, attempting to influence Evelyn and Monroe, gives them testimony about the importance of not keeping secrets. When Patrick, Evelyn, and Monroe return to Pink Momma's house, Patrick pulls a gun on Pink Momma's surprise birthday party. During the party that night, the real Pink Momma returns early, and SpongeBob attempts to stall her. Meanwhile, Patrick accidentally stumbles across the stolen money hidden in Monroe's footlocker. Evelyn sees this, and tells Patrick the real story: Unnamed Salesfish had merely been playing her for a fool the whole time. Unnamed Salesfish wooed Evelyn, stole her keys, and got into the vault during the robbery, and Evelyn did not tell anyone out of fear of getting fired. Patrick goes off to call his name to help them out. Meanwhile, SpongeBob quietly tells Paul Blart in the bathroom that the real Pink Momma is back, and Paul Blart accidentally locks Patrick out of the house, thinking that he is the real Pink Momma. Meanwhile, Unnamed Salesfish arrives in Pink Momma's house, having tracked Evelyn, Monroe, and the money, and attempts to take them out of the house with him, but after Evelyn accidentally says goodbye to the real Pink Momma, Paul Blart spots Unnamed Salesfish's gun and intends to arrest him, but accidentally unloads his gun. Before Unnamed Salesfish can kill Paul Blart, Patrick breaks through the window to fight Unnamed Salesfish. In the ensuing struggle, Unnamed Salesfish shot SpongeBob in his shoulder and rips Patrick's mask, revealing him. Nonetheless, Patrick eventually subdues Unnamed Salesfish and knocks him out of the window. Evelyn and Monroe are heartbroken to realize that Patrick was an FBI agent for the whole time, and they refuse to speak to him, even as police arrested Unnamed Salesfish and paramedics takes SpongeBob to the hospital for his arm surgery. Sometimes later, Patrick goes to mass on Sunday morning to testify Evelyn, Monroe, and Pink Momma. Patrick delivers his promised speech to Evelyn and Monroe and admits that he genuinely loves them. Pink Momma eventually forgives Patrick with a big, strong hug, and the crowd cheers as Patrick and Evelyn kiss each other. The film ends when Patrick and Evelyn invite Monroe over for a group hug and the crowd celebrates as Pink Momma sings "Oh Happy Day" as the episode comes to an end. But alas, Skodwarde shows up and apologizes for how lazy this episode was parodying Big Momma's House. All of a sudden Tyler Perry dressed as Madea shows up and talks about how hilarious it is to be a man portraying a fat black woman. Skodwarde then proceeds to bury Tyler Perry/Madea alive as Lionsgate looks for another black comedian to make millions of dollars off of. Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan, and Chris Tucker all apply since their careers are going no where fast and have no dignity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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