Skodwarde

[Wumbo]

Awesome finale, Claps. I'll try to have the premiere up by Sunday at the latest.

[Old Man Jenkins]

7. Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari drop by Skodwarde's House

One night, Spongebob and Patrick were out looking for Gary with Patrick shaking his balls to draw the snail out. The excess noise were getting on Skodwarde's, who was in the bath tub fondling himself, nerves. Suddenl- "ALLEYAHLEEYLALAYAHELLIYEAH" began to ring out through the confines of Skodwarde's bathroom, interrupting Skodwarde's fondling. Suddenly, Skod's bathroom door swung open and in came Arab-Americans, Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari. Hassan began to shoot out some scathing remarks that Skodwarde is supporting an evil and unjust war while Daivari translated in Farsi despite being of Arab descent. Skodwarde is not amused and retorts that he is in fact a Squid Nazi. Hassan fires back that Germans are the worse of them all before taking the time to spit on Skodwarde's floor. Skodwarde uses his god powers to debate against Hassan and Daivari but found himself on a losing edge, even with guest-starring stylings of Rush Limbaugh by his side. Hassan says that Rush and Skod don't respect them because "My names Muhammad and his names Khosrow!" Rush says he is sick of these people to which Hassan replies "I am so sick of YOU PEOPLE!"

Daivari low blows Rush before Hassan tears him a new one with his camel clutch. Skodwarde uses his god powers to try and intervene but Hassan praised Allah and in came a number of masked men who proceeded to beat Skodwarde down with his own sex toys and choked him out with piano wire. Skodwarde says that Hassan and Daivari has stepped into "Skod Island" with Skodwarde going on some rant that his island isn't a place where Hassan can exercise his freedom of speech or some shit like that. Hassan replies that "We're not the terrorists here! You are!" yet who are these men helping him out? Skodwarde uses his god powers to make his masked men assplodes one by one. Skodwarde tells him to come at me bro, but Hassan responded by saying he doesn't fight anybody he doesn't respect before casually making his exit. Skodwarde spends the rest of his night fondling himself on Skod Island.

[Old Man Jenkins]

8. Spongebob and Patrick drops by Skodwarde's House

One night, Spongebob and Patrick were out looking for Gary with Patrick shaking his balls to draw the snail out. The excess noise were getting on Skodwarde's, who was in the bath tub fondling himself, nerves. Suddenly, Skod's bathroom door swung open and in came Spongebob and Patrick, scouting the room for the lost snail, startling Skodwarde in the process. Not amused at their intrusion, he uses his god powers to knock them both out with a blunt object. Hours later, as Spongebob came to, he noticed that he was in a pool of blood, a pool of his own blood. The room around him was empty. Not having the strength to move on, Spongebob gave up hope of reuniting with Patrick and his beloved snail, Gary. When he was about to embrace the warmth of death, a voice called out to him. A couple of feet away, lied a mask, a ceremonial Mayan/Aztec/Eskimo mask known only as the "Terror Mask" which in it's native tongue sounds like something different.

The mask told the playful sponge to be assertive, but Spongebob went to whip out his Wang but The mask told him not insertive, ASSERTIVE, before forcing itself onto Spongebob in a struggle. Spongebob underwent a metamorphosis of photosynthesis, becoming a hulking behemoth wit the strength and assertiveness needed to rescue Patrick from the clutches of Skodwarde. Spongebob grabbed a dildo from off the floor and went on a "Dildo Demolition" demolishing all of the monstrous Skodites that stood in his way. After defeating a few floating Skod heads in the empty hallway on the fourth floor(which in Japanese airings, is an inverted cross in a church) Spongebob grabbed hold of the mighty Childo, cutting down wave after wave of Skodites.

In the worse room of the splatter house, Skodwarde's Gallery, Patrick was found lying down on a couch. Spongebob stepped forth to awake him, but Skodwarde came and uses his god powers to transform Patrick into some vaginasaurus thing, throwing a curveball at the readers. Spongebob was forced to cut his best friend down to size before confronting the squid nazi in an epic battle involving god powers and gas powered childos, which Spongebob came out victorious. Spongebob exited the Skod lair as it burned to the ground, lamenting at the loss of his friend and pet.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Now let's take a look back at...Skodwarde's Childhood *cue lightning, sufferings groans and demonic laughter*

It begins with Skodwarde getting up for school. He wakes up his brother, Skodrick with his normal wake-up call, using his god powers to "make it rain" on him. It then cuts to Bikini Bottom elementary school (no fancy names here since this is only Bikini Bottom, making it self explanatory) Skodwarde is in first grade. Hes the lone wolf of the class, cuz if he wants to make friends he'd just kill them in their sleep during nap time. His teacher, Mrs. fishington(no relation), assigns a project. The students are gonna partner together to make a comic strip. The winner wins one dollar.(which to a first grader is like a buh million dollars) Skodwardes hopes and dreams are high he will get partnered with his crush. The class brain, farrah. You see Skodwarde likes brains, the thought of brains, especially the class brain, gets him off like that. Unfortunately, Skodwarde finds himself paired up with the class clown, Nathan. Nathan wastes the school day away by talking about this one Malcolm in the Middle episode he watched last night on Teen Nick, but this babbling gives him an idea. They should write a comic about a ******ed starfish! Skodwarde was actually amused with the idea and they went on from there.

When Skodwarde got home, he put on some Tiny Tim records but accidentally put a Learn French record in instead, learning all about the wonders of "Omelette du fromage". At the dinner table, Skodwarde, with the amplification of his god powers, blurts out the word, causing Skodrick to jizz his pants. Mama Skodwarde sent Skodrick to his room for time out before she would go up there to sew his penis shut. Skodwarde utters omelette du fromage again, causing his mother to have herself an orgasm. Skodwarde excuses himself from the table, leaving his parents to their passionate sex sesh. The next day on the bus, it was more of the same from omelette du fromage , causing everybody in the bus to jizz and orgaz out. Skodwarde felt like the most popular kid in school for again. When he meets Nathan in class to discuss their comic, Nathan says he already wrote it out as the "Deported Starfish". Not amused since he thought Nathan meant "retarded", Skodwarde uses his god powers to omelette du fromage him in front of the whole class, humiliating him for the rest of his life. As Nathan cleaned the mayonnaise from his pants, Skodwarde approaches Farrah and omelette du fromages her. Both of them decides to ditch class and head out to Makeout Reef. Good times, good tiems were had.

[Wumbo]

41a. The Algae's Always Greener

Skodwarde is reading octopus porn while working his shift at the Krusty Krab, as usual. Suddenly, Plankton walks in and demands the Krabby Patty formula. Before Skodwarde can react, Mr. Krabs flicks him away with a big meaty claw. He then inadvertently insults a prawn, causing him to be taken away by the police for committing a hate crime. Meanwhile, Plankton is tired of imagining that he's not dying of starvation, and wants to know where he can get some real food. His talking vibrator tells him that since Mr. Krabs is currently locked up, anyone can take over the Krusty Krab. Jumping at this opportunity, Plaknton gleefully runs into the Krusty Krab and takes over. Skodwarde does not notice, as he just so happens to have reached that particular issue's centerfold.

The first thing Plankton does is he buys himself a nametag that says "Mr. Plankton". He then starts fondling a Krabby Patty when SpongeBob walks in. He insists to Mr. Plankton that it's time for his prostate exam. Mr. Plankton really doesn't want to do this, so he simply tells SpongeBob that he's eating too much sauce. SpongeBob then suddenly feels constipated, so Mr. Plankton orders Skodwarde to give him his prostate. Skodwarde reluctantly uses his god powers to unblock SpongeBob's bowels, and SpongeBob as a result becomes Skodwarde's bosom buddy/co-cashier. Skodwarde uses his god powers once again to teleport SpongeBob back to the kitchen, but SpongeBob keeps finding his way back because he's a persistent little fucker. Mr. Plankton, fed up with this tomfoolery, makes Skodwarde be the fry cook. Skodwarde jizzes on a Krabby Patty in rage and gives it to the first lowly mortal who orders one, who takes his anger out on Mr. Plankton.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Pole arrives. She complains to her new daddy that she needs money to start a strip club. Kevin O'Leary makes a cameo appearance, saying "I'm out" and then walking away. Mr. Plankton decides that he's in on the deal, on the condition that all of the strippers must be wearing Krabby Patty-themed clothing. Pole starts crying inwardly at Mr. Plankton's bad business skills. Meanwhile, SpongeBob accidentally "soils" the cash register whilst watching anemone porn on his laptop, and begs for mercy from Mr. Plankton. But there's no time for mercy, because Krabs is back and he's buffer than ever! In the buff, that is. Apparently, he escaped from prison but forgot to put clothes on in the process. SpongeBob shoots him with a tranquilizer, and Krabs is vanquished. Between SpongeBob's victory screech and Krabs harassing Mr. Plankton via the telephone, Plankton goes COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE and runs home to his precious dildo and holographic meatloaf. Skodwarde then uses his god powers to barricade SpongeBob in the kitchen, and orders him to make him a series of sammiches.

41b. SpongeGuard on Duty

SpongeBob and Patrick are at Goo Lagoon checking each other out, when suddenly they catch a glimpse of a Hunka Hunka Larry. Skodwarde notices him too, and is impressed by his ability to shun old people so readily. Patrick, meanwhile, is jealous that SpongeBob keeps staring at Larry, and exasperatedly asserts that he's going to the snack bar. SpongeBob says that if he doesn't have a chance to make it with Larry, let him be struck by a flying semen truck. Skodwarde uses his god powers to make it so, but SpongeBob's nerves of steel (that's another story) cause him to live. Larry walks up to SpongeBob to make sure he's okay, then smells the semen on his nose, which proves that he's a lifeguard. SpongeBob and Larry then have a jolly old time, much to Skodwarde's dismay. He uses his god powers to create a riptide for some unsuspecting boob to swim into. Larry saves him by punching him in the gut repeatedly, then nonchalantly drives off to an orgy party, leaving SpongeBob in charge.

SpongeBob orders everyone out of the lagoon because there are sexual predator clams. A clam then asserts, "Hey, that's my family you're talking about!" SpongeBob then gets arrested by the police for his hate crime, and everybody at Goo Lagoon dies soon after because none of them really know how to swim. Thankfully, Larry comes back and punches them all in the gut to revive them. Unfortunately, he does this so hard that they all end up with butt cramps. Meanwhile, Skodwarde nonchalantly walks on the goo like a BOSS.

Edited April 11, 2018 by jjsthekid

[Clappy]

Amazing Wumbo. Love it. Next up, easily the dirtiest episode I have ever written of anything.

42. Club SpongeBob/My Pretty Sea Whore

Club SpongeBob:

The episode begins with Skodwarde leaving his house and riding his bicycle to work. He rides past a tall tree, at the top of which is a small box where SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting and giggling profusely. They see Skodwarde below and talk to each other about this, beginning certain words with a "w" sound. Skodwarde approaches the base of the tree and asks what they are doing, and SpongeBob tells Skodwarde that he can't tell him because he is not a member of their club. Skodwarde mocks them, saying that they don’t even know what a club really is. SpongeBob tells Skodwarde he couldn't get in even if he tried. Skodwarde tells them that he is "a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom.", but SpongeBob and Patrick insist that he will not fit in. Enraged, Skodwarde tells them they know nothing of fitting in before he proceeds to use his god powers to get into the box. SpongeBob and Patrick frantically tell Skodwarde to stop but he does not. Skodwarde gets into their tiny box, and SpongeBob and Patrick explain that they literally meant that he wouldn't "fit in", and that he and Patrick have been stuck in the tree for three days. SpongeBob and Patrick begin Skodwarde's initiation into their "club", but Skodwarde stops them, and attempts to get out by pulling on a smaller tree. He manages to make the tree double over and is about to crawl out when the second tree snaps, launching them into the sky. They fly over a kelp forest, where a couple sees them and the man says "Make a wish, Honey."

The trio crash in a small clearing in a distant section of the kelp forest. SpongeBob and Patrick begin to jump and shout joyfully while Skodwarde panics at his situation of being lost and stuck with SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob and Patrick try to comfort Skodwarde by telling him it could be worse, and that they will survive as a club and as long as they have the "magic conch shell" to satisfy them. They believe the magic conch should never be questioned and should always be consulted before any action is taken. SpongeBob asks it what they must do to escape the kelp forest, and the conch asks for a semen sample. SpongeBob and Patrick sit on the ground butt naked and proceed to wank it, and Skodwarde is enraged at their stupidity. He announces that he intends to escape the forest and get back to sanity by himself, and walks away. As Skodwarde tries to find an exit, he becomes lost and afraid and eventually comes back to where SpongeBob and Patrick who are still playing with themselves trying to get that semen sample.

Even more time passes, and by now, Skodwarde has dismantled the box in order to build a shelter. He has a hat made out of some dried plant and is sitting by a small campfire. He is holding an empty frying pan over the fire. A small bug scurries past, but Skodwarde catches it and proceeds to cook it. He taunts SpongeBob with his "food", saying that they could have sided with him and survived, but instead listened to a talking shell. He proceeds to say, "As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky! (laugh) Fall right out of the sky!"

Above the forest, a damaged plane is seen falling right out of the sky, and the pilots drop a load of sea whores, sex toys, and anemone porn to avoid crashing. The “equipment” lands around SpongeBob and Patrick, who finally jizz and praise the magic conch. Skodwarde is extremely shocked and walks over to the two, who are devouring a table full of sea whores. Skodwarde says he was only kidding earlier and asks if he is still a member of the club, and SpongeBob tells him that he is still a member. Skodwarde cannot decide which sea whore to eat out, and forcibly follows SpongeBob's suggestion of asking the conch shell. It tells him he cannot have any of the girls he asked for. He tries another one, and the conch says no. He repeatedly asks it if he can have anyone to eat, with the shell responding "no" every time. He becomes enraged and is about to go mad when a Park Ranger enters the clearing.

Skodwarde tells him he has been stranded with SpongeBob, Patrick, and the magic conch shell for weeks, and his mention of the "magic conch shell" prompts the ranger who pulls out an identical conch. SpongeBob and Patrick are delighted to meet another "club member", and the ranger tells them that his conch advised him to look for them. The three club members praise the magic conch before asking it how to get out of the kelp forest. It asks for another semen sample. Following the conch's advice, they assume sitting positions on the ground wanking it. Skodwarde, completely dumbfounded, realizes that he has god powers and doesn’t need to stay here with these idiots. He grabs a sea whore and proceeds to take her home with him.

My Pretty Sea Whore:

In a continuation of the previous episode, Skodwarde is still with the sea whore from the other episode. They have become sexual friends and begin to "ride around" and "do things together". Skodwarde proclaims he has "Spring fever" and that his sea whore, Mystery, has gotten rid of his misery. Skodwarde then "rides" Mystery on his way to work, but falls off a cliff and causes a nuclear explosion when he hits the ground. When Skodwarde reaches work, he leaves Mystery outside at the bike post. Two fish approach Mystery and mistake her for a kiddy ride. One suggests the other to try it out, and when he inserts a coin into her lady parts, Mystery kicks him into the distance, and he blows up on impact. The other fish runs away screaming, causing Mr. Krabs to come out and see what the trouble is. He sees Mystery and mistakes her for a monster; SpongeBob tells him she is Skodwarde's whore, but even though she is harmless to Skodwarde and not the others, Mr. Krabs orders Skodwarde to get rid of it and if he disreguards his order, he will be fired for not cooperateing with him.

Skodwarde attempts to hide her in a cupboard in the kitchen until Patrick finishes building a brothel. Skodwarde offers Mystery some cocaine, which the whore begins craving after snorting. After she craves, Mr. Krabs overhears this noice, and angrliy comes in and confronts Skodwarde, threatening to fire him if he sees Mystery still here, but, however, he dosen't see her and leaves. After narrowly avoiding being caught by Mr. Krabs, Skodwarde realizes he has to be more careful. Skodwarde catches Mystery after an order goes missing, and Mystery goes on an cocaine snorting frenzy while a crowd of customers became angry. Mr. Krabs finally catches Skodwarde nursing a sick Mystery in the kitchen, who is suffering from withdrawal, now knowing that he had broke the rule. Mr. Krabs then gets angry at him and tells him he is going to get rid of both, Mystery and Skodwarde, who is responsible for breaking and disreaguarding the rule, himself, but Skodwarde pleads for mercy, explaining that Mystery is his whore and that he loves her.

Mr. Krabs, feeling sympathy for Skodwarde, tells him a story of his favorite dollar and how he eventually spent it for a soda on a hot day. He tells Skodwarde that Mystery needs to be freed because the restaurant is no place for a whore, and Skodwarde consents and takes the whore out the front door where he makes her leave. He cries as she leaves without hesitation, but realizes that there is a batch of onions in front of him. Mr. Krabs comforts Skodwarde, but he then notices an empty safe. Realizing that Mystery took the Krusty Krab's finances, Skodwarde and Mr. Krabs chase after her. The show ends with Patrick trying to get into a strip club, but a wooden plank is nailed to his head blocks his way.

[Old Man Jenkins]

I want in on this sweet action. Let's make this a drinking game. Every time you see the word "Fuck" as you read through, take a shot. You'll be amazed at how profane 43a will be.

43a. The Fucker

One day, Spongebob attends class at Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Spongebob is trying to organize his vibrators but can't seem to organize them just right, prompting him to ask the poor sap sitting next to him whether his quiz vibrator should be next to the essay vibrator or next to the test vibrator. The poor sap tells him he "should put it up his"- but before they could finish their line, Spongebob resolves that the essay vibrator should be next to the quiz vibrator and turns it horizontally to face his paper just in case he needs to prep for an essay. Mrs. Puff comes in fashionably late as usual, joking about almost getting carjacked by some marlin on the way to class, but it was in bad taste. She then eases the awkwardness by telling the class to put on their rape faces (which they literally do) and welcome their new classmate, Flats the Flounder.

She asks Flats to tell the class a few things about himself, telling them quite bluntly that "I like to fuck people's butts." this arouses Puff Mama and she gives him a congratulatory Good Noodle star to arouse Flats but he's not interested before taking a seat next to Spongebob. Spongebob proceeds to introduce himself to the new student and Flats responds with "Hi Spongebob. I'm gonna fuck your butt." Spongebob is flabbergasted at first before casually laughing it off, saying he thought Flats said he wanted to fuck his butt. Flats tells Spongebob that he means it, which causes Spongebob to burst in laughter again. Flats, trying to prove he's serious, unzips his pants, rips off his pubic hairs to reveal his flat penis which begins to utter the words "I fucking mean it!" finally showing Spongebob the ugly truth that Flats does mean it.

Spongebob calls Flats a motherfucker, which Flats takes pride in telling Spongebob that he'll fuck his mother's butt next. Spongebob asks Mrs. Puffs if he could be excused for the rest of his life, but she tells him that Puff Mama's gotta pay bills before telling him to sit the fuck down. Spongebob sits the fuck back down, trembling in fear. Puff asks Flats to come up to the board and draw a picture of a four-way intersection for the class. Flats takes his time, hurring here and there as he puts on the final touches. Flats' flat body obscures the drawing and Puff asks him to kindly move the fuck out of the way so the class can see what he drew, which he does. The drawing is of Flats having a four way with Spongebob, Mrs. Puffs and Mrs. Squarepants. The drawing depicts him fucking them all in the butt at the same time quite graphically. Puff is impressed and says we have an artist in the class, but Flats is still not buying her before taking his seat again.

Once class concludes, Spongebob's takes refuge in the school toilet, lamenting over his dire situation and asks himself why Flats would want to fuck his butt since he claims to have said he never spoke two words to the guy before realizing he spoke three. Spongebob begins contemplating growing a mustache and changing his name to "Ben Dover" before the stall door began to open. Spongebob acts casual as some random guy opens the toilet seat only to see a common household sponge floating in the toilet water. The guy leaves to go cut himself in the other stall. Spongebob sighs in relief, thinking that it would be Flats and right as he said it, Flats come barging in. Spongebob tries to make Flats see the error in his ways by ad lobbing a Forrest Gump quote about how life is like a bucket of wood shavings except when their in a pail, or some shit like that. Flats takes the quote to heart and says that it makes him realize that now, "I'm gonna fuck your butt twice as hard." before casually leaving Spongebob to flush down his sorrows.

Spongebob makes his way to a pay phone and calls up Patrick so that he could help Spongebob "rough Flats up a little". Patrick asks if this is Pizza Castle, but Spongebob tells him to shut the fuck up and listen, which Patrick responds "oh hey Mario". Spongebob tells Patrick that's it's Spongebob, prompting Patrick to ask him if he works at Pizza Castle now. Spongebob tells Patrick of his situation with Flats, but Patrick says that Flats is his old buddy from Community College (who would've thought Patrick went to college) and how he came to visit him for pizza. Patrick begins to tell Spongebob graphic stories about how he and Flats would fuck people's butts during their frat days before realizing that Flats has to leave soon to fuck some guy's butt. Spongebob has already left Patrick hanging, leaving him to ask if this is Pizza Castle again.

Spongebob goes to Mrs. Puff and explains to her his dire situation. Mrs. Puff is appalled to hear that Flats would rather fuck Spongebob's butt over her's and vows that no students' butt will get fucked over her in HER class. She leaves to go talk to Flats and Spongebob goes to eat lunch in peace. When lunch concludes, Puff calls Spongebob over and says that it's all been one big misunderstanding. That where Flats comes from "fucking people's butts means he wants to be your friend...with benefits of course." and judging from the look on here face, Flats fucked Puff good. As Puff excuses Flats' actions to Spongebob, the camera pans out to Flats sculpting a sand sculpture of Spongebob in the background before proceeding to fuck it until it crumbles down to the ground. Spongebob shits a brick (haha more square humor) and says he's got diarrhea before consulting to his toilet hideaway again for the rest of class.

Spongebob tries to make his escape as the bell rings but he catches sight of man who appears to be related fish since all fish of the same species and looks alike are most likely related. Spongebob asks if he's Flats' dad, which he says he is. Spongebob begins to explain to Mr. Flounder his dire situation but before he could finish, Flats shows up from out of nowhere and scold his dad about talking to strangers. Mr. Flounder leans over to Spongebob and says "Now he's gonna fuck my butt!" prompting Spongebob to make a run for it, leaving Mr. Flounder to his sad fate. Spongebob runs frantically throughout town shouting that "he's gonna fuck my butt!" before pointing off to the distance, which happens to be where Old Man Jenkins (played by himself) is standing. The townspeople are all like "so you like fucking butts, do ya? We'll show you old fart!" which OMJ replies "I love the young people" which doesn't help his case at all and the Bikini Bottomites proceeds to fuck OMJ up.

Spongebob hides out in a dumpster to think his escape plan through before a garbage truck begins to take out the trash. Spongebob jumps out in the nick of time and sees that the garbage truck is being driven by Flats! Spongebob tries to outrun Flats before jumping out of the truck's path and slipping in his reliable essay vibrator into the exhaust pipe, causing it to assplode with Flats inside. Flats later wakes up in a hospital bed to see Spongebob and Dr. Gilliam at his side. Gilliam explains that Spongebob performed mouth to mouth on Flats for over five hours straight. Spongebob says that the EMTs said Flats would have been fine but he wanted to make sure he was ok regardless. Flats said "I'll have to remember that when I'm fucking your butt. Is that rubber fist for me?" Which prompts Spongebob to make a break for home again.

Before Spongebob returns home however, he makes a detour at Skodwarde's house to get some assistance. Skodwarde has been at home doing oilseed all day and is not amused that Spongebob has once again gained entry into his lair. Spongebob explains to Skod his dire situation, but the squid nazi could seemingly care less. With all hope lost, Spongebob goes home and accepts his sad fate. Skodwarde realizes that nobody gets to fuck with Spongebob but him so he uses his god powers to make Spongebob unfuckable. Flats forces his way into Spongebob's house and says "let's do this!" before prepping himself by cracking his kuckles, brushing his teeth, pumping on his penis pump. He makes Spongebob put on a blindfold and goes to fuck his butt, but some otherworldly force is preventing him from gaining entry into Spongebob's bow. Spongebob says that he's ready but Flats still can't fuck his butt no matter which of his many holes tries to put it through. Spongebob realizes this and happily exclaims that he can get to go to work tomorrow. After some nautical nonsense involving flipping patties, taking a bath, Jellyfishing, sleeping, and large amounts of cockblocking, Spongebob finally returns to class the next week without fear. Flats finally passes out from exhaustion and overexertion. Spongebob then makes a speech to the class that fuckers never win or some shit like that before Mrs. Puff comes in to see Flats laid out, prompting her to fuck Spongebob up as the episode ends. Meanwhile, Patrick gets a mushroom pizza from Mario and Luigi at Pizza Castle and Skodwarde spends the rest of his day taking shots of Vodka for each time "fuck" was uttered in this episode.

43b. Just One Bite

One day, after wishing a slow, painful death upon another customer, Spongebob catches wind of Skodwarde saying that he hates Krabby Patties. Spongebob chastises the squid nazi for this because apparently the only reason why people say they hate Krabby Patties is because they never had one. I guess Your Shoe's Untied isn't canon. Spongebob tries to get Skodwarde to have just one bite but Skodwarde isn't having it at all. Spongebob says that Krabby Patties are good for your soul but Skodwarde replies that he doesn't have a soul and is damn proud of it!

As Skodwarde is reading some more Mein Kampf behind the register and eating some bon bons, Spongebob slips a patty into his box of chocolates, tricking the squid nazi into consuming that heart attack on a bun. Skodwarde jazzes his pants (or lack thereof) before regaining his composure once he noticed Spongebob watching. Skodwarde uses his god powers to kill what's left of the patty and sent it straight to hell, no doubt crushing Spongebob's spirit. Once Spongebob left tO go cut himself, Skodwarde raises the patty from it's grave and began to consume it whole before scavenging through the garbage for his next fix. Skodwarde snorts the trashed patty up his nose and consumed it before placing in a fake order to Spongebob. Spongebob complies and decides to bestow the gift of this patty to the customer personally, thwarting Skodwarde's plans. When nobody came to claim the juicy morsel, Spongebob nom nom it profusely, no doubt crushing Skodwarde's spirit.

Back at home and suffering from withdrawal, Skodwarde proceeds to have a patty induced fantasy where he rapes a life-size Krabby Patty, makes babies with it, marrying it, before finally killing it and it's children in order to stop paying child support before finally waking up. Skodwarde resolved that he needed just "one more" in order to satisfy his appetite for eternity. So he uses his god powers to beam towards the Krusty Krab before creeping his way inside, tripping the security system. After some nautical nonsense involving god powers, flamethrowers and gasoline, Skodwarde finally made his way to the patty vault. He uses his god powers to conjure up a sky hook and proceeded to connect it to the vault in order to air lift out of there. Spongebob came in, saying he always comes to work at 3 am. Spongebob seduces that Skodwarde is addicted to Krabby Patty and proceeds to rub it all over the squid nazi's unsure face. Skodwarde asks "Does this look unsure to you?" but before Spongebob could answer, Skodwarde used his god-like strength to sucker punch Spongebob straight into the wall. Skodwarde tried to make his escape on the sky hook, but Spongebob recovered and jumped into the vault at the nick of time in order to prevent the vault's theft.

Skodwarde was inside the vault, eating out the patties like no one else. Spongebob charges towards him before throwing a few karate punches, which Skodwarde evaded by throwing a patty into Spongebob's face, obscuring his vision. Skodwarde ate about twenty patties at the same time and was only growing stronger from the heart attacks on buns. Spongebob pounced to attack, but Skodwarde assumed his deadly eight tentacled god form, looking more like an octopus than a squid. He used his four of his tentacles to block Spongebob's attacks as he was preoccupied with devouring the vault whole. Spongebob advises him not to eat too many patties at one time which Skodwarde scoffs, saying if he'll blow up. Spongebob denies his claim and says that it'll all go straight to his testicles. Skodwarde looked down at his now inflamed testes before Spongebob confirms that after that, then he'll blow up, which he does, taking the vault and sky hook down with them. Skodwarde's head (which head is up for speculation) is then taken to a rehab center as his medic recalls his first Krabby Patty and how the saying, "not even once" rings true for his situation. Meanwhile, Spongebob spends the rest of his morning snorting up some patties of his own.

Edited April 12, 2018 by jjsthekid

[Clappy]

I lost count of how many times I lol'd. I have a feeling Season 3 might be our best one yet.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Gentlemen, we as the Skod Krew should collaborate together to put out a Season 1 & 2 Boxset with some witty banter as commentary.

All proceeds shall be split amongst us 50/50/50. Or we can just try burying it, shredding it, or burning it. Or decide to just give it all away.

[Clappy]

I'm down for making a DVD box set. There is always a first time for everything and this will be a first for me.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Now we wait for the Wumbooty to sign on.

[Wumbo]

Oh, I am so in it's not even funny. But this will be.

By the way, OMJ's episode may be the funniest thing I've seen out of Skodwarde yet.

[Wumbo]

Since I have been given the green light by Clappy, and since I am bored out of my skull, here's le next episode.

44a. Nasty Patty

Mr. Krabs, fed up with Skodwarde's jizz scaring away the customers, tells him to go home for the rest of the day. Skodwarde, in vengeance, makes it so the rest of the day is as dark and gloomy as night, like his attitude. Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, and all of Bikini Bottom are unfazed by this. Skodwarde gives up and decides to watch the anemone porn channel for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs is freaking out because a health inspector is coming to his restaurant, and he knows that any fool can see that it's a death trap. Seriously, Mr. Krabs stores the corpses in the freezer. Anyway, Mr. Krabs orders SpongeBob to take the corpses and bury them in unmarked graves. SpongeBob does so, while Mr. Krabs prepares for the health inspector. The health inspector and his hippie hoes arrive, and the health inspector takes a seat. Mr. Krabs shits his pants in anxiety, leaving the health inspector to wonder what the hell that funky smell is. SpongeBob hurries back, and makes a perfect Krabby Patty for the inspector. But by this point, Mr. Krabs had gone COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE, and he asks SpongeBob to jizz on the Krabby Patty, much like Skodwarde would do. SpongeBob is confused by this request, but all Mr. Krabs has to do is point to the freezer to motivate SpongeBob.

While Skodwarde's jizz cures blindness and leprosy at the same time if applied correctly, SpongeBob's just kills people. The health inspector drops dead, and the hoes are set free. Mr. Krabs orders SpongeBob to bury the health inspector, but before he can, the police come. They arrest Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob because it turns out both of them wear curlers to bed. Skodwarde sees the police car go by. Inspired, he watches an episode of COPS.

44b. Skodwarde Casually Observes Robot Pirate Island

Today is Happy Hopping Moron Day, and SpongeBob and Patrick are celebrating by hopping around happily. Suddenly, a package arrives. SpongeBob and Patrick open it up furiously, only to discover a new 3D-TV. But because 3D sucks, they throw it out and keep the box instead. Skodwarde takes the TV and uses his god powers to transform it back to 2D. He tries to turn it on, but dangerous radiation is emitting from the box, and it's preventing the TV from working. Skodwarde angrily demands that SpongeBob and Patrick get rid of the box. SpongeBob replies, "No way, man, we have our imaginaaation." He makes a rainbow with his hands that only he and Patrick can see. Skodwarde moves the box, with SpongeBob and Patrick in it, a little closer to the curb so the garbage truck will come take it away. All of a sudden, a helicopter swoops down and takes SpongeBob, Patrick, and Skodwarde to Robot Pirate Island.

Skodwarde realizes that he is fulfilling his lifelong dream, but he also realizes that SpongeBob and Patrick are here. Thus, he boots them off the helicopter, and they fall into a lagoon and drown. But miraculously, A Hunka Hunka Larry is swimming in the lagoon, because fuck, why not. He brings them back to life with a couple of PELVIC THRUSTS.

SpongeBob, Patrick, and Skodwarde make it to Robot Pirate Island. Skodwarde remarks that it sounds like Robot Pirate Island, to which SpongeBob and Patrick reply, "Well, duh."

In a surprising turn of events, the pirates beat the robots. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Skodwarde leave a note in commemoration of the pirates who gave up their lives, and Skodwarde flies himself home with his god powers. SpongeBob and Patrick ride home on A Hunka Hunka Larry because fuck, why not. Skodwarde ends his day by watching foxy boxing on his new TV, and SpongeBob and Patrick take the box to the garbage dump where they have more fun with their "imagination".

[Old Man Jenkins]

Good shit, Wumbro. Good shit.

45a. Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy IV: The Incredible Shrinking Study of Wumbo

One day, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy rolled in the Krusty Krab in their new invisible Cadillac Escalade. They go to place their order at the counter when they notice Skodwarde. Barnacle Boy states his displeasure for Skodwarde for all the times they've bumped into each other in past MM & BB episodes and Skodwarde is not amused. They grunt and snort at each other while comparing penis sizes, with Barnacle Boy displaying the bigger package, needless to say. Mermaid Man breaks them up before ordering a Krabby Patty for me and a Silly Meal for the lad, which Barnacle Boy casually plays off as him not wanting the sex toy that comes with the meal? Barnacle Boy is utterly pissed at Mermaid Man ordering him the meal, but that's a story another day.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy take a seat and wait for their meal to be made fresh and ready. In the meantime, Mermaid Man is messaging somebody on his new iPhone 4S saying, "I'll send that bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces. Remember that, young ward. It'll take you far in life." Barnacle Boy states his displeasure in smart phones and social media, which Mermaid Man embraces whole-heartedly. Barnacle Boy begins reminiscing the days where they had to walk 15 miles to get to the nearest telegraph and actually talk to people because if he wanted to talk to people, who wouldn't write out everything he'd have to say to that person. Mermaid is busy tagging himself and Barnacle Boy at the Krusty Krab on Facebook, captioning it, "The lad is bitching up a storm again. Is Mermaid Man gonna have to hit a bitch?" Mermaid Man suggests that they too should compare penis sizes with each other while they wait and he proceeds to unbuckle his belt.

Spongebob catches wind of their conversation from the kitchen and goes BATSHIT CRAZY, breaking down the wall before pick pocketing a pen off some guy and grabbing a square of toilet paper from some lady who is asking someone to spare a square. Spongebob charges them while shouting out some unintelligible babbling.Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy shoot some water balls and barnacles, but they're not effective so they make a run for it. They do some crazy Duke shit, parkouring over cars before jumping into their invisible Escalade through the windows, but Barnacle Boy inadvertently lands on the invisible dildo. Before he could remove the sex toy, he tells Mermaid Man to floor it, leaving Spongebob in their dust. Spongebob heads back into the Krusty Krab to go cut himself, but notices Mermaid Man's belt on the floor and takes it for keeps.

Spongebob discovers that it's a perfect fit on him and begins playing around with it in the kitchen, shrinking everything salvageable. Skodwarde comes bursting in, scolding Spongebob for not completing any orders. Spongebob, tired of Skodwarde's constant bitching, uses the belt on Skodwarde, whipping him around a little before shrinking him down to size. Skodwarde demands that Skodwarde turn him back to normal, but after some undersea hi-jinx involving sadomasochism, Skodwarde demands Spongebob to stop what he's doing for it is not working. Spongebob takes Skodwarde to the only person he thinks could help them with their conundrum.

Spongebob takes Skodwarde to Patrick's and Skodwarde is not amused not one bit. Patrick asks to examine the subject and proceeds to treat Skodwarde like an action figure, squeezing him to make him shoot out his pew pew eye lazors. Spongebob scolds Patrick about the srsness of this situation. Patrick starts to use Skodwarde as a sex toy, about to insert him up his butthole saying, "THEN HERE COMES THE BLACK HOLE!" before Spongebob scolds him again. Patrick puts on his srs face before going all like, "AND THEN THE BLACKHOLE!" and places Skodwarde firmly inside his insides. Spongebob explains to Patrick the entire situation involving Mermaid Man's belt, prompting Patrick to remove Skodwarde. Patrick then takes out a pickle from his butt hole and Skodwarde notices it from earlier. Patrick then makes Skodwarde perform lewd acts with the pickle before being scolded by Spongebob again. Patrick goes to examine the belt and say that the problem is that he has the belt set to "M for Mini" when it should be set to "W for Wumbo". Spongebob apologizes to Patrick for doubting him before shooting Skodwarde with the power of Wumbo, which miraculously returns him to normal size. Skodwarde is pleasantly surprised at this turn of events and uses his god powers to take the belt off their hands so he can go return it to Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy personally. Spongebob and Patrick go out to preach and advocate the Study of Wumbo while Skodwarde uses his new stylish belt to shrink everybody Bikini Bottomite so he can devour them all like Gargamel wanted to do with the Smurfs, there is no denying that fact. Spongebob and Patrick cures cancer through the Study of Wumbo and they successfully advocate it to be taught in schools as early as first grade (take that theory of evolution).

Meanwhile, in the Mermalair. Mermaid Man can't find his belt to go out to the clubs with, leaving him a nervous wreck. Barnacle Boy mentions he has other different colored belts, but Mermaid Man refuses to listen to reason. Suddenly, The Chief drops them a Skype call, telling them about Skodwarde's actions throughout Bikini Bottom and how he plans on devouring ever citizen in Bikini Bottom. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy pack some heat before heading out to once again confront the squid nazi. In other developments, the Study of Wumbo has garnered itself a cult following, prompting Spongebob and Patrick to open up the first Church of Wumbology in Bikini Bottom. The church would attract some VIPs in celebrities such as John Travolta and Tom Cruise and Tom Kruse from Hoveround to name a few.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy duke into their invisible Escalade before getting caught up in traffic, which Mermaid Man tells Barnacle Boy, "I told you we should have gotten the turbo." which Barnacle Boy replies, "It wasn't me ya old coot!" and they continue to bicker about back seat driving for the next two hours before deciding to hug it out. In the meantime, public opinion on the Church of Wumbology are mixed with negativity coming from people claiming that it is nothing but science fiction. The Church is also slapped with sexual harassment allegations that Patrick vehemently denies. Mermaid and Barnacle Boy finally reach Skodwarde's lair right as he was about to put the little people into his oven. Mermaid Man demands the safe return of his belt before being reminded by Barnacle Boy about the citizens they have been tasked to save and yells out, "them too!"

Skodwarde responds by shooting a Ragnarok at them, which they both managed to barely dodge. Mermaid Man dons his Aqua Glove and slugs Skodwarde with a devastating left hook, catching the squid nazi off guard. Barnacle takes this opportunity to shoot out some barnacles from his pants, further crippling Skodwarde before raining down some Barnacle Pellets from his Barancle Gun onto him. Meanwhile, the Church of Wumbology is shut down due to the sexual harassment allegations being taken to Supreme Court. The Study of Wumbology is pulled from being taught at schools as well and is replaced with the Evolution. With Skodwarde weakened and with the amplified power of his Aqua Glove, Mermaid Man powers up his water ball into a Water Bomb, flinging it at Skodwarde and bombing him all the way back to Kingdom Cum along with some of the shrunken citizens, but Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy manages to cover that little tidbit up.

With an entire city waiting to be unshrinked, Mermaid Man and Baranacle Boy are baffled at what to do at this point. Spongebob and Patrick, who are out on bail, suggests that they switch it to Wumbo, which they do and manage to unshrink everybody. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy uses their pull to have the charges against Spongebob and Patrick dropped before taking them out for some more Vietnamese. Skodwarde spends the rest of his day watching the live-action Smurfs and puts everybody involved with the movie on his hit list. Meanwhile, due to the good press that came from helping to unshrink Bikini Bottom, the Church of Wumbology returns in full force but is still not taught in schools. Most people just disregard as some sort of cult and leaves it at that. Also, Plankton returns from Club Med, visibly happy to be back.

45b. Bad Girls

One day, Spongebob once again fails his umpteenth driving test due to Skodwarde's intervention and once again, Mrs. puff is blamed for the murder spree that ensued. Puff finds her herself facing 25 to life and is thrown into real butt pounding prison. Puff tries to befriend her fellow prisoners at first but found herself at the receiving end of a gang bang. Puff soon finds a friend in Donna, who loves Puff's chili. One day Donna asked Puff Mama to spot her on the bench, but due to Puff's out of shape physique, she accidentally drops the barbell onto Donna's throat, causing her to sound like a man from here on out. Puff apologizes for what happened, but Donna let's bygones be bygones by saying her new voice turns the prison rapists off. Speaking of prison rapists, Sassy, leader of The Sisters prison gang, forces herself into Puff's cell one night and 'makes an honest woman out of her'. Not only that, but two identical but different colored prison guards (both voiced by Clqncy Brown) also harass Puff while she was taking a shower and beat her before taking advantage of her. Puff asks Donna to help her toughen up for life inside and they start doing some squats and work that bench like you could never imagine. Puff goes to the Warden to report the two guards but the Warden justifies their actions as being "acts of God".

Feeling bitter, angry, and a lot more assertive. Puff Mama confronts Sassy and her gang of prison rapists. Sassy asks if she came for some sloppy seconds but Puff responds by kicking her in the vagay before beating her to a bloody pulp in the prison yard. The guards try to diffuse the situation but the fellow inmates hold them off so the bloodshed can continue. Puff Mama takes it to the other members of Sassy's gang before ripping off Sassy's weave, a clear sign of Puff's dominance and that she runs the prison yard now. She is thrown into solitary confinement where she begins hallucinating about Spongebob raping her and the guards take pleasure at hearing her shrieks of terror from outside.

The Warden requests an audience with Puff in his office. He tells her that now she's the big kahuna in the prison yard, he feels that an agreement can be reached to launder money through the prison. Puff Mama says that this arrangement would help her pay a lot of bills but she declines the offer just to spite the Warden. The Warden promises to make her life in prison a living hell, which she replies "get to the back of the class and kiss my ass." before leaving. The guards tell her that she has a visitor and it turns out to be Spongebob. Puff wastes no time in freaking out and blaming Spongebob about her current situation. Spongebob apologizes and wishes he could help out. Puff tells him to lay it out on the table. Spongebob is baffled but Puff tells him, "the penis, whip it out!" Puff gives him some extra credit before telling him, "you got me in here you square dicked son of a bitch, now you're gonna bust me out!" Puff Mama and Spongebob discuss some things before parting ways. Puff joins Donna in the shower and they share a passionate love scene of Titanic proportions but it's been edited out due to FCC regulations.

Spongebob brings Patrick along to bust Puff out and they knock out the twin guards in order to steal their uniforms and work their way inside. Puff causes a stir with Sassy again, inciting a prison riot, gaining the attention of the Warden. The Warden catches up to Spongebob and Patrick and commands them to help ease the situation. The Warden catches sight of Puff leaving the scene with Donna and gives chase. Puff Mama takes Donna back to their cell where Puff reveals that she had been hard at work digging a way out through hole in the wall that was hidden by her James Dean poster. They crawl their way through right as the Warden catches sight of them trying to escape. The twin guards return, saying they were knocked out and got their uniforms stolen. The warden sends the guards after Puff Mama and Donna while he deals with the two outsiders in his midsts. Puff reaches the sewer system first with Donna trailing behind her, but the twin guards grab hold of her and begin to pull her back. Puff tries to assist her but Donna tells her to move on without her. Puff makes a last ditch effort to save Donna, but is not strong enough, pulling back up to the sewer system and continuing her escape but not before telling Donna that they'll see each other again at the place they planned to be together. Meanwhile, the Warden catches up to Spongebob and Patrick and has them arrested, which was Puff's real plan all along. The twin guards return with Donna but tell the Warden nothing could be done for Puff. The Warden gives chase to her himself, burrowing through the tunnel and plummets into the sewer system. Before he could get much farther, all that chili that Puff fed her fellow inmates begin to work it's ways through the sewers, washing the Warden out in diarrhea shit. Puff finally makes her escape through a local reservoir, shouting out into the air in triumph.

Twenty years later, Donna makes parole and heads to the Gulf of Mexico where she finally reunites with Puff Mama before going home to have the rest of that pasta. Suddenly, Puff snaps out of one of her shock-induced hallucinations and finds herself still driving around with Spongebob as he drives them off a ravine. Puff sighs in disappointment as the episode ends. Meanwhile, Skodwarde spent the entire episode reading the rest of Mein Kampf before posting up a good review for it on his Tumblr.

[Clappy]

I LOVE THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION PARODY! YOU DID ME PROUD OMJ! AND WUMBO, AMAZING! DON'T GO TO FAST YOU GUYS!

Oh and I think I am officially archiving The Fucker. That was seriously some of the funniest shit and deserves to be so.

[Wumbo]

and grabbing a square of toilet paper from some lady who is asking someone to spare a square.

*squeals like a schoolgirl*

[Clappy]

46a. The Fourth Wall Effect

An iceberg travels across to the surface of the water above Bikini Bottom, causing it to snow underwater. Everyone is having fun in the snow, and SpongeBob and Patrick decide to have snow sex. Meanwhile, Skodwarde is relaxing at home with some Jack and coke. He hears the sounds of SpongeBob and Patrick's fucking and tells them to cut out the sex and bring on the violence. They try to convince him to come out and join in the fun, both trying to get him on their own side. Skodwarde tells them that the snow is not for sex, it is to knock each other’s brains out. SpongeBob and Patrick then agree to knock each other’s brains out.

Skodwarde decides that, as entertainment, he will watch them fight, hoping they will get hurt. Skodwarde’s wish is granted as SpongeBob and Patrick literally knock each other’s brains out. Skodwarde takes this opportunity to brain wash the two brains with Naziism, porn, tons of gratuitous nudity, sex, drugs, alcohol, and movie references. Skodwarde then sends the brains through the fourth wall and hand them to OMJ, Clappy, and Wumbo. He demands spin-offs to Skodwarde involving brainwashed SpongeBob and Patrick and telling each episode of his show through their points of view. Wumbo, who is the only person nearby snow because he is from Canada (TROLOLOLOLOLOL), grabs a snowball and hits Skodwarde. Skodwarde then proceeds to get in a snowball fight with the Skodwarde staff, further decreasing the quality of this episode.

After being hit by a snowball containing his clarinet, OMJ, Clappy, and Wumbo decide that Skodwarde is taking things far too seriously, and end the episode abruptly. A paranoid and riled-up Skodwarde, who does not want the episode to end, does not realize that the fight is over, and continues to throw snowballs, as an overhead palm branch keeps dropping snow on his head. Meanwhile, OMJ relaxes with a pineapple watching TV with hot chocolate and popcorn because he is from Hawaii (TROLOLOLOLOL).

46b. One Krab's Crap

With Skodwarde’s hopes and dreams of a spin-off dashed and the writers giving SpongeBob and Patrick’s regular traits back, he is mourning throughout the events that take place in this episode.

Mr. Krabs holds a yard sale with items found in the trash because he is a cheap bastard, and SpongeBob buys a beer drinking hat. Later, Krabs is confronted by Mel Gibson, David Hasselhoff, Lindsay Lohan, and Charlie Sheen (all guest starring as themselves) all who inform him that the beer drinking hat he is in possession of is extremely valuable, and each offer to pay him up to over one million dollars for it. Mr. Krabs goes to SpongeBob and desperately tries to get him to give the hat back with other hats like a blender to make mixed drinks, a vibrating hat so SpongeBob can stop using his vibrator, and a Foxy Grandpa hat containing a picture of the Lemon Party crew, but drunken SpongeBob tells him that he can kiss the biggest hole on his ass. Mr. Krabs, who thought SpongeBob would take the Lemon Party crew hat, then concludes that he will have to "scare" the hat off of SpongeBob.

That night, Mr. Krabs draws an obviously fake ghost on a piece of paper and puts it through SpongeBob's window using a fishing rod. SpongeBob thinks it's a real ghost, and Mr. Krabs tells him that the hat is cursed, and must be returned to its deceased original owner. When SpongeBob asks the name of the owner, Mr. Krabs uses the name Humphrey Bogart since he was one of the biggest drunks in the history of Hollywood. However, Mr. Krabs' plan backfires when there turns out to be the actual Humphrey Bogart buried nearby, and that SpongeBob buried the hat in his grave.

Mr. Krabs goes to the cemetery, where he gets scared and hides behind a headstone, when along comes Skodwarde bringing flowers to a grave labeled "Skodwarde's Spin-off Hopes and Dreams" and remarks "What a baby". Mr. Krabs then proceeds to remember things SpongeBob has said to him involving dildos, vibrators, and sybians, and uses that information to find and then defile Humphrey's grave and take the hat. However, Humphrey (who the Skod crew uses old clips of his voice) and the others buried in the cemetery suddenly come to life, and attempt to get the hat back. Mr. Krabs grabs the nose of an undead Adrien Brody (who appears as himself), and uses that as his sword. He fights the undead skeleton warriors all night, eventually defeating them all and escaping with the hat.

He then goes to the group of alcoholics and tells them that he got the hat back, but the drunk collectors laugh at him telling him that they found a warehouse full of beer drinking hats and that it's now worthless. The collectors see SpongeBob wearing a clapping hat and he says “Let’s give Mr. Krabs the clap BAHAHAHHAHA!” A drunk Lindsay Lohan chases after him, offering to pay a billion gajillion dollars for his hat. Mr. Krabs starts crying, and Skodwarde, who was seen bringing flowers to the grave of "Skodwarde's Spin-off Hopes and Dreams" in the graveyard, says "What a baby."

On a serious note, alcohol addiction is no laughing matter. Please go here for more information. http://www.alcoholaddiction.org/

[Old Man Jenkins]

This episode will be a throwback ep of sorts.

47a. As Seen On TV

One day, Mr. Krabs put Skodwarde in charge of directing the Krusty Krab commercial, but Skodwarde was going over-budget and Krabs being the cheapskate he is, fires everyone on the crew except Spongebob, Skodwarde, Pole, and a clown, who Krabs kept around to "entertain" him off-set. Skodwarde is forced into drag to co-star with Pole while Spongebob makes two cameo appearances. When the commercial hits the airwaves, Vince Offer (playing himself) visits the Krusty Krab to take Skodwarde under his wing and become the next big Pitch Man like he is (Haha). Vince takes Skod back to his palace and says Skodwarde has real camera presence before the hookers he paid for the both of bite their tongues, prompting Skodwarde to use his god powers to beat them severely. Skodwarde pitches his first product, "The Glass Wipe". After some nautical nonsense involving god powers and snappy one-liners like "You can even use it to wipe your ass, so stop having dirty glass and stop having a dirty ass." people are compelled against their wills to buy his product. Skodwarde enjoys his newfound fame until his altercation with the hookers comes back to bite him in the ass, costing Skodwarde his newfound fame and fortune. Meanwhile, Spongebob also cracks under the pressure of his newfound "fame" and almost overdoses on heroin.

47b. Can You Spare A Dime?

With nowhere else to go after his failed pitching career, Skodwarde is forced back into employment at the Krusty Krab. One day, while counting the money in the register, Mr. Krabs noticed his first dime is missing (and why it was in the register to begin with if it was his first dime is still left unanswered). Krabs immediately shoots some scathing accusations at Skodwarde, prompting Skodwarde to quit, saying he could be a king, a space man, or a drug dealer if he wants to and maybe grow some pubic hair. And Skodwarde went on his way merry way. A week later, Spongebob sees Skodwarde out on the street asking for some spare change. Spongebob questions if he is a drug dealing king in space, but Skodwarde says his subjects overthrew him a day into his reign, he didn't have the balls to go through astronaut training, and that his drug house was raided by the police, but he's been working on the pubic hair though. Spongebob takes Skodwarde in during his rough times but after some undersea hi-jinx involving god powers, French maid outfits, sexual favors, and odd numbers, Spongebob takes Skodwarde back to the Krusty Krab where he begins to strangle Mr. Krabs (This srsly happened in the real ep btw) until a rocky wheel fell out of old man Krabs' pocket. Krabs begins fondling the foreign object, saying it's his first dime because he's apparently THAT old. Krabs hires Skodwarde back but they immediately get into another argument involving Pole's teen pregnancy, prompting Spongebob to put his French maid outfit back on and spends the rest of the day "dusting off" Skodwarde.

[Wumbo]

Stellar episodes, men. Mind if I do the next one?

[Old Man Jenkins]

Go right ahead, my good man.