Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[kylie]

the sign by SLAYse of base in the botom 10 but the cranberries at #2

 

[Katniss]

1 hour ago, Homie❤ said:

the sign by SLAYse of base in the botom 10 but the cranberries at #2

Because the Cranberries are good

Edited November 27, 2017 by Katniss
other gif link was broken

[kylie]

5 minutes ago, Katniss said:

Because the Cranberries are good

 

 

r u implying i said anything different sis?

[Katniss]

6 minutes ago, Homie❤ said:

r u implying i said anything different sis?

I'm implying they're better than Ace of Waste

[4EverGreen]

Thoughts on:

"Please Forgive Me" / "Breathe Again" / "I'll Remember" / "Everyday" / "Wild Night" / "Secret" / "Streets of Philadelphia" / "I Swear" / "Another Night" / and "Love Sneakin' Up On You" as soon as possible please.

[Wumbo]

"Loser": I really wanted this to be in my Top 10, but it just couldn't get there. Rest assured that I do love this song, and the fact that it got as popular as it did. It's such a staunchly different song from what you'd hear on the pop charts, and really represents the shifting tides of the mid-90's well.

"Come to My Window": I swear, every time I rank a Melissa Etheridge song they just keep getting better and better. I love this one. It's another one of those songs that has that much more meaning after she came out.

"Shine": This is probably Collective Soul's best song. Its ranking is more demonstrative of the quality of the charts than of its quality. Yeah.

"Crazy": On one hand, the Get a Grip album was basically the point of no return for Aerosmith's path into selling out, and I should hate it. On the other... they're just so damn good at selling out, aren't they? I would never put this song in the midst of classic Aerosmith, but for what it is, it ain't half bad.

"Shoop": Just didn't register with me the same way "Whatta Man" did. Still love Salt-n-Pepa though.

"Without You": Mariah Carey takes a boring song and gives it her all. She missed my list completely this year, but never forget how much of a powerhouse voice she has to make any song sound amazing.

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight": Eh. I'll take Elton John writing for Lion King over the Elton John wannabe we got this year.

"Here Comes the Hotstepper": Yeah, I just kinda grew tired of this one, honestly. It doesn't have much going for it other than an admittedly catchy beat, and I couldn't justify putting it up there with the great music of '94. It's not bad, but it doesn't really do anything for me anymore, either.

"Whoomp! (There It Is)": Longevity and catchiness prevent this one from going lower, but at its core it is a very, very stupid song.

"All for Love" (ft. Sting and Rod Stewart): Running gags aside, this is a pretty weak song from three powerhouse vocalists. By the mid-90's, all of these guys were well past their prime, and putting them together did nothing but highlight that.

"Prayer for the Dying": I just love Seal. He doesn't get much recognition outside of his big hit, but I feel like he should. He brought a distinct flavour to the pop charts in the early-to-mid 90's.

"Keep Ya Head Up": While I don't find this song very engaging or interesting musically, I gotta hand it to Pac for making an uplifting song like this in the midst of the dirty hardcore gangsta rap surge. The fact that this song exists is enough to elevate it this high.

"Stay (I Missed You)": What a useless, tuneless little song. There's only so much cutesy I can take, and it's all wrapped up right here in this precious little song. Geez.

"You Mean the World to Me": Toni Braxton never seems to hit those highs that someone like Whitney or Mariah does for me. Kind of the B-list songstress, which is a shame.

"Amazing": Okay, this is getting a bit overwrought now. "Crazy" makes sense as a ballad style because it's a song about heartache. What in God's name is this? A coming-of-age story? You're in your mid-40's by this point, Steve. Is it a mid-life crisis story? I don't know. I definitely can't get into this one the same way I can "Cryin'" and "Crazy", but I think at this point I might just be a late-career Aerosmith apologist because there is still something about this song I like. I guess it still hits really great crescendos with Steven Tyler's voice. Man can bring a house down with one lung.

"Your Body's Callin'": Can't deny that as much of a creepo as R. Kelly is, he still has tunes to back up his existence. Well, maybe not. Seriously, fuck this guy.

"Bump n' Grind": I was truly worried that R. Kelly would show up in my Top 10 this year with this song. Why does this guy get to make such great smooth love jams while being the biggest asshole alive in music? THE GUY HAS A SEX CULT FOR TEENAGE GIRLS. That's all I'm going to say about this entry, I refuse to give credence to this man no matter how good the song is. Fuck him.

"I'll Take You There": I didn't find anything particularly remarkable about this either way. And it's a cover? I don't think I've even heard the original.

"I Can See Clearly Now": You'd think that in a year like 2017 I'd be looking for songs with the most brazen of optimism. I don't know why I don't like this more. I guess it feels like background music at a Caribbean resort to me, and not particularly fun background music, either.

"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)": Meat Loaf does the impossible in that he actually makes me appreciate the concept of musicals. His theatrics are just spectacular, the way he thrusts himself into all his songs. And this one is the most notorious of them all. It is so over-the-top and histrionic, but Meat Loaf always makes it work. What a brilliant performer.

"Hero": Great Mariah song, if a bit overrated. My favourite from her this year was the frankly underrated "Anytime You Need a Friend".

"What is Love": I feel this song in my soul. Night at the Roxbury put some kind of voodoo curse on me and now this song is a part of my psyche forever. Damn you, Jim Carrey.

"I'll Make Love to You": What can I say? Boyz II Men have their biggest hit ever, but DRS end up outclassing them in every way for me.

"Please Forgive Me": Jesus, Bryan Adams was boring this year.

"Breathe Again": Again, I have no connection to Toni Braxton's music. There's just something about her that doesn't resonate with me. Her music's like, too stiff-sounding or something. I never feel it flowing.

"I'll Remember": Mid-90's Madonna is most forgettable Madonna.

"Everyday": Mid-90's Phil Collins...

"Wild Night": Everything Meshell adds to this cover, John Mellencamp unfortunately takes away. It's not like he does an awful job, but he's no Van Morrison. And he drags down this cover something fierce. Maybe a solo version with Meshell would have worked. I dunno.

"Secret": Mid-90's...

"Streets of Philadelphia": I think before I've said that I respect Bruce Springsteen as an artist far more than I actually like his music. No song illustrates that better than this one, I think. It's fine. I appreciate it. But I wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it.

"I Swear": All-4-One will never be more than Boyz II Men wannabes to me. Sorry.

"Another Night": I don't know why this song is ranked higher than on my '95 list. I guess I really got into the dance scene this year. That said, this is still one of the weaker of that scene. It doesn't have a power vocalist like "Mr. Vain".

"Love Sneakin' Up on You": Bonnie Raitt has enough charm that I like her songs fine, but they don't really stand out to me that much otherwise.

[Rebel the Wolfgirl]

Thoughts on:

What is Love

Because the Night

Can You Feel the Love Tonight

and December 1963 (Oh, What a Night).

[Steel Sponge]

49 minutes ago, Wumbo said:

"I'll Take You There": I didn't find anything particularly remarkable about this either way. And it's a cover? I don't think I've even heard the original.

Lo and behold the original version:

 

[Wumbo]

"Because the Night": Natalie Merchant definitely did better work with 10,000 Maniacs than solo. This is one of the better covers this year.

"December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)": Apparently there's a remixed version of this? I just ranked the original. Still love this song to death. But I had to rank it lower because it doesn't fit in the context of 1994 at all, and it's kinda cheating to give it a spot on the Top 10 when the chart is meant to showcase songs from at least around that year.

[SG19]

*breathes a sigh of relief that I Wanna Be Down isn't in the bottom 50*

Count me in as one of the people that doesn't mind The Sign and Don't Turn Around.

[Wumbo]

Happy December, everyone! As usual you'll find my shenanigans this month in the year-end roundup as I count down the Top and Bottom Hits of 2017! Another great year of bitching and praising that wouldn't have been the same without you guys to vent and gush to. Thank you all! The end is in sight, but we've still got about a year and a half to go, so as far as this thread goes, seeya in 2018!

[Wumbo]

We're back! Happy New Year and all that. We're really winding down this project now, with about a year and a half to go. Can we finish it? I think so. Let's get to it!

When you start off the RNG order by favouring a certain decade (i.e. the 70s) one will tend to get left by the wayside (i.e. the 90s). So with the project winding down, we're going to do a bit of damage control on that front by looking at a few years from the 90s to catch up! We started with '94 in November, a fantastic year for pop music. and now it's on to...

1997

...enh? Well, we'll see. Top and Bottom 10 by the end of the month.

[Steel Sponge]

The year-end Hot 100 of 1997?

All I can say from here on out is that I hope you'll have more fun listening to that more than I did.

[Wumbo]

I... this is gonna be a tough one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anzzNp8HlVQ

Hey, look! It's The Macarena again. Along with a whole bunch of other recycled hits I've already covered from 1996 and 1998.

But that's not why this year is gonna be hard, though. Oh, no. This year will be difficult because I will have to look myself in the face and repeatedly confront the mistakes I made on those past two lists.

 

With the sheer backlog of hits that appeared on previous years I covered, I was expecting for some repeats. What I was not expecting was to contradict myself so thoroughly, particularly on my worst list. Folks, I don't wish to exaggerate, because there is no need to. This worst list contains six songs from previous lists that have not appeared on a worst list before. ...I don't know what happened. It's not like this year was much better than either year that all these songs fell by the wayside. It's that I've finally awoken to how bad these songs really are. There's a couple worst list entries from 1996 that didn't even make it onto this list! Those songs are still bad, but... I don't know how to explain it, but I figured I'd better explain something before I get a barrage of complaints saying "This wasn't on the list before! Where was this?" etc.

Because I know, you lot are the type to complain about my lists. Nah, just kidding, you guys are great. That's why you deserved this long and rambling explanation, though it was also just as much for me as it was for you. Meet the new shit, same as the old shit. Here we go with...

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 1997

Spoiler

 

All right, so let's start things off right (?) with a song from 1998 that didn't make it onto that list, but made it onto this one.

10. "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" - Backstreet Boys

 

To be fair to me, this was certainly a bigger hit in 1997 than it was in '98. If I was conscious of pop music back then to the degree I am now, I probably would have ranked the songs this way. This is just a forgettable piece of trash not worth caring about.

1997 didn't appear to have as much personality as either 1996 or 1998, so that might be part of the reason why a lot of songs on these lists will be repeats from past years. It wasn't really bad or good in any way. It just existed. And that's what this song does: it just exists. Aren't the Backstreet Boys good at big, booming choruses, like Boyz II Men style? Where is that here? This is wimpy as hell.

This song amounts to nothing and doesn't even attempt to build to anything. It's just a stupid, disposable boy band song, and I refuse to dignify it any further with more commentary. Next.

 

 

Spoiler

 

And speaking of forgettable disposable songs...

9. "How Do I Live" - LeAnn Rimes

 

This is one of the all-time biggest Billboard hits. That absolutely baffles me. Honestly, I don't really think this song is bad so much as it is disposable. In an era where we had Faith Hill, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, this song doesn't do anything to distinguish itself, at least not for me.

I mean, yes, this song is technically fine. Nothing egregiously wrong with it. LeAnn Rimes has an absolutely lovely voice, especially for 15. There is no way I would guess she was as young as she was when she recorded this. But that doesn't change the fact that I find this song completely worthless. If you like it, fine, but this is certainly not a song for me. LeAnn Rimes has the voice, but she doesn't have the style at all. God damn, the song tries, with that weird guitar after the second chorus. But it doesn't amount to anything other than a perfectly nice ballad. Again, with powerhouses such as Mariah Carey in the business, I have no use for this. Sorry.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

I've had... a tenuous relationship with Whitney Houston's music at best. But I can't deny her for the powerhouse that she is. The woman could sing, damn it. And she had the range to carry any song to its peak, regardless of my personal tastes or not. No matter whether I liked any songs by her, I always respected her as a performer just for her ability to sell any song she performs in.

So, what if Whitney Houston couldn't sell her performances? Well, then you get Toni Braxton.

8. "Un-Break My Heart" - Toni Braxton

 

I don't think Toni Braxton is a bad singer by any means, but she is a relatively lifeless one in comparison to Whitney. Her performances always sound so stiff. Say what you will about Whitney, even on her more serious songs she always sounded like she enjoyed singing. With Toni Braxton, it always sounds like grueling work. I mean, yes, she's hitting those notes... most of the time. But does she really feel them? 'Cause I don't.

Another difference between her and Whitney is that Whitney would always take her music to new heights, whether it be through her performances or her content. Toni Braxton seems content to release the same boring three songs over and over, and I'm just not buying it. This is a nice melody, but Braxton's performance is so overwrought and painful to sit through that I don't understand why anyone would listen to this in place of Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey or whoever. An absolute slog of a song that would probably have been better in the hands of a Whitney or a Mariah. Instead, we got a Toni. And I wish we hadn't.

 

 

Spoiler

 

...

DOUBLE SINGLES! GOD DAMN DOUBLE SINGLES

7. "I Don't Want To"/"I Love Me Some Him" - Toni Braxton

 

If there is any consolation about getting this year over with, it's that I'll, probably never have to deal with any of these double singles ever again. 90s... what the hell? Why did this keep happening? you do realize you're making my job that much harder, right? Inconsiderate.

This double feature is from Toni Braxton, so naturally after the last entry it ended up here. "I Don't Want To" is a mostly forgettable R&B jam with a mostly forgettable R. Kelly production, but it's "I Love Me Some Him" that lands this double single on the list.

What the hell is this? See, this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say that Toni Braxton makes singing sound like work. This should be a sweet-sounding love song, but instead it sounds unbearably sad! Does this woman ever sound happy? I'd hate to think that their anniversaries are like.

Never has a love song sounded like such a waste to me since Paul Anka's "Havin' My Baby". If you're not in love, then it's going to show in your performance, no matter what you're singing about. End this.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

...Have I been too harsh on Celine Dion? I feel like I've asked this question before. But the answer's probably yes.

She's not a bad artist by any means. She's got a powerful voice and she's got her own distinctive style. It's just not a style that generally appeals to me. I do recognize the talent she has, though, and I respect that.

Now, it's when she breaks out of that style that she needs to go on the list once again.

6. "All By Myself" - Celine Dion

 

Upon first listen, this sounds like the perfect song for Celine Dion. Big, bombastic ballad with a soaring chorus. But the problem is that it doesn't have any of Celine's flavour. Take "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" again. That song is distinctly Celine Dion. You may not like it, but no one sang it better than her, what with her over-the-top vocal inflections. This one's already been done better. Celine Dion's a great belter, but it gets really grating on this song, and she doesn't have much to do otherwise.

I'm not going to act like this is the worst thing I've ever heard. But as someone who was never really a Celine Dion fan, this doesn't hit me the way it should. Maybe I'm all by myself in this, but if that's the way it's gotta be, then there ya go.

 

 

Spoiler

 

As we venture further into the "Wumbo fucked up on 1996" year, let's visit an old fiend of ours, Keith Sweat.

 

You all remember this guy, right? No? Good. He's not worth remembering. I can't name a single song of his that I couldn't have lived without. He had two songs on the 1996 chart, and they both came to visit again in '97. This year, I found one of them to be so insufferable it made the list.

5. "Nobody" - Keith Sweat ft. Athena Cage

 

Keith Sweat is your perfect C-list R&B guy for the 90s. He's not as sleazy as R. Kelly, not as talented as Boyz II Men, and not as fun as Montell Jordan. He's got a voice like a broken radiator, and I have no idea why he was kept around as long as he was.

Because Keith Sweat has trouble carrying a song on his own, he recruited an actually talented singer in Athena Cage to join him. Unfortunately, talent doesn't equal personality, and I still feel nothing during her parts of the song. All these songs so far have just been insufferably boring love songs. Did anyone have sex in 1997?

Everything about this song is sexless, from the two nobody performers to this seasick, mindfucking beat. I have no idea why you would listen to this when there was so much more to choose from. It's just a mess from beginning to end.

 

 

Spoiler

 

4. "Mouth" - Merril Bainbridge

 

Is this... is this a finished product? What is this? What am I listening to? And what the hell was it doing in my Top 20 in 1996?

I guess I found this song so weird a few years ago that it charmed me. But whatever I saw in it before is gone now. I think this song singlehandedly killed beatboxing for a decade.

Oh, and let's talk about the "titillating" performer. Merril Bainbridge is a singer who sounds like she doesn't have a clue what she's singing about. And that's very much possible, given that she doesn't seem to understand that her sex song is about sex.

Bainbridge stated that "(Any sexuality on "Mouth" was) not deliberate - it was definitely not a sexual song. It's just honest - about a relationship, how you feel in a relationship. Sometimes you feel you're in control and the next thing, you're insecure - it's the role playing thing. To me, it's not about straight up sexuality.

I mean, no, your song does not sound sexual in the slightest. But do not bullshit here, that's what it was meant to be about. You're gonna play coy when smack dab in your chorus you talk about turning someone on? Fuck outta here. This is a lame way to excuse the sexlessness of your song. "Oh, tee-hee! Did I do that?" Fuck off, Urkel.

This is just such a peripheral nothing of a song. There is no reason for this to stick around for one year, much less two. It doesn't even sound like a finished product. It literally feels like half the song is missing. And if that half is as bad as this one, well, then I guess it's for the best. And it's for the best if this song kept its mouth shut.

 

 

Spoiler

 

What the hell is this?

3. "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" - Paula Cole

 

I was ready to dismiss Paula Cole as a mediocre adult contemporary singer after hearing "I Don't Want to Wait" ad nauseam in my childhood. But then I realized I had never actually heard her biggest hit, "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" And... holy shit, what the hell is this?

Maybe I just don't *get* adult contemporary music in 1997. But it's not just me, right? This song is god damn weird. Full of these off-kilter elements and choices that don't make sense... and usually, I welcome that. But it's too boring to be delightfully weird and it's too weird to be mediocre. It's just a mess.

So the song is a lament on a hopeless relationship, wondering where all the good men have gone, the ones you would see in westerns, like John Wayne. I feel like this is the result of setting one's expectations too high, or maybe too low, given that John Wayne was kind of a massive prick. But I get the sentiment, you want the western, you want to be the fair maiden by his side. I don't see where whispery rapping falls into that.

 

This is what I mean by weird-ass choices. It's a dumb, annoying song that I really don't feel like listening to ever again. And I can only assume all the cowboys she's singing about rode off into the sunset as well after hearing this.

 

 

Spoiler

 

And now we come to the last of our repeats from previous years. Yeah, don't worry, I didn't top the list with one. But this one was in the top half of my '98 list, so it is still pretty egregious. After listening to it for this year, though, I can't imagine why anyone would want to listen to this song.

2. "You Make Me Wanna..." - Usher

 

I've put cheating songs on my best lists before. But they've always had some kind of purpose behind them, or some reason that they are good. This... has nothing. I get that Usher was young here, but I have no idea what he was thinking making this his debut single from his album. Nothing dreamier than someone who can't remain faithful to his partner!

Usher does get into more forceful singing near the end, but even the singing throughout most of this song feels weak.  Again, I get he's young. I just don't get why this was one of the first impressions he wanted to bestow upon people. This isn't a sexy or loving sentiment, it's just dumb. And this sentiment has been done better in other songs. Thankfully, Usher would really shine in the next decade, but here it's clear he's still trying to take off the training wheels.

 

 

Spoiler

 

*sigh* This list was a difficult one to write about. Many of these songs are ones I just awoke to how boring and pointless they are, and we all know that makes for great commentary. So, what better way to cap off a boring list than with a boring duet by two oft-boring artists? Bore.

1. "I Finally Found Someone" - Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams

 

I am so damn tired of this shit. Like, we all remember the late 90s for being fun, and upbeat, and new-sounding. We certainly don't remember it for boring middle-of-the-road ballads from two artists who have disappointed on multiple occasions! Oh, and it's from a soundtrack. That's just lovely.

I swear to God, Barbra Streisand has sung the same song for 50 years now. Everything I hear from this woman sounds the same to me. And I hate to hate on her, really, I do. She's a good singer. Her music just doesn't appeal to me at all. Pairing her up with Bryan Adams is just another mistake to add onto the pile. The two artists have no chemistry and this pairup makes no sense. Bryan Adams has a rock edge to his voice even on his softer songs, so pairing him with the ever-blooming flower Barbra Streisand does nothing for either artist. This is some of the lamest shit either artist has put out, and it does not belong in 1997. What a confused, clusterfucked, tedious mess. Which I suppose could be said about the year as a whole. So maybe it fits better than I thought.

 

 

[Steel Sponge]

Pretty good list. I agree with a majority of these choices. Granted, I've expressed all that I've needed to say about my thoughts on the year-end list for 1997, but still.

Spoiler

One choice that surprised me though was one song in the bottom two, "Make Me Wanna...," which I'll admit I've never been a fan of, but I thought it was okay at best.

 

[Wumbo]

Okay! That was a slog of a list to get through, wasn't it? And now we have our best songs of the year.

...it's got a lot of the same problems as the last list.

 

Look, I don't know what to tell ya. Sometimes a year is interesting enough to stave off any repeats... this year was not one of them. Not that there weren't any good songs unique to 1997, we'll get to 'em. But fair warning, there will be a fair bit of rehash here. Not as much as in the last list, but still noticeable enough that it highlights '97's lack of identity. We'll still have fun though, I promise. I love doing the best lists so much more than the worst. Even when they're songs I've already talked about, they still put a smile on my face. That's why they're here. All right, here we go! It's...

Wumbo's Top 10 Hits of 1997

Spoiler

 

Cover songs are a general occurrence I run into when doing these lists. Less so in current years, though you wouldn't know it from all the lawsuits going around. But they do serve as interesting pieces of music. Another artist's interpretation of an already-interpreted song. Where can you go with it? What can happen?

Unfortunately, the majority of my cover reviews when it comes to the Hot 100 have been... negative, to say the least.

 

"Everyone involved should be ashamed at this money grub they created. Fuck this cover. Bill Withers is the man. That's all." - Wumbo, 2017

Yeah, so you'd think that my attitude towards cover songs is inherently negative. Not so! Aretha Franklin does a fantastic cover of "Bridge over Troubled Water", for example. And sometimes, covers can save a shitty song from being so shitty. Example:

10. "All Cried Out" - Allure ft. 112

 

This is a cover of Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam's original song from 1986, and as you can imagine, I'm not the biggest fan of Lisa Lisa's rendition.

 

Who put this girl near a microphone? Come on, 80s. Quality control.

But despite my distaste for the song initially, I did think there was potential for it. And then I remembered that I heard this song done much better in 1998, by these girls and guys, Allure and 112. They blow the original out of the water by sheer virtue of not sucking.

So where was it on my best list in '98? Well... I had a lot of Celine Dion issues to work out. And '97 was admittedly one of those years that didn't have the best songs. But I don't want to discount this song any. Despite it getting on the list due to less competition, it's still a damn good rendition. It gives the song a purpose. You can feel the heartbreak. Still love it, even if it took a lackluster year to bring it out.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

With the death of Biggie Smalls in 1997 so closely following the death of Tupac Shakur the year before, it was safe to say that by this point, gangsta rap was on its way out. And what was seeping in instead?

 

Ughhhh.

Look, I'm not going to pretend that this was the worst year for rap music - not when we have tons of years after this one to choose from - but my god, the way the public so readily accepted Puff Daddy's unchallenging, minimal-effort music stuff was quite astounding. Not that this was even the worst year for Puff Daddy; catch me on a good day and I might even say I *like* "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down". But the tides were shifting, and the rap scene on the whole started to get a lot more silly and indulgent.

Now, I'm not saying every rap song has to be srs bsns in order to be good or anything. Far from it! And as evidence for that, here's my number 9 pick.

9. "Let Me Clear My Throat" - DJ Kool

 

Ohhh man, this takes me all the way back to the early 90's era of "Humpty Dance" and Biz Markie. Helps that The Biz himself is pretty heavily featured on this track. I just love Biz Markie. I want him to be my best friend. And he's a perfect example of what I'm talking about when I mention silly rap songs that are also fucking brilliant.

 

If you don't like "Just a Friend", you're no friend of mine. And this song has the exact same sensibilities of silliness, with a tight ass groove thrown in courtesy of a 45 King sample. That's another thing, between this and the "Hollywood Swinging" intro, it brings you back to the days when sampling was more lax, which most people call the glory days of hip hop. It certainly helps to have the freedom to remix any song you want.

There's really very little to the lyrical content of this song. It's pretty transparently a hype anthem. But what a hype anthem it is, am I right? It has energy, power, and joy, something that so many rap songs lacked this year and the years to come. That's what separates it from a Puff Daddy joint in my view. It plays it loose, fun, and fucks the sensibilities of actually being about something. It's a masterclass in goofing off. And for that, I salute it.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Maybe I'm being too harsh on the rap this year as a whole. I actually liked a lot of rap music I've heard this year! It takes up a good chunk of the list. And it's not like things started immediately going to shit after Biggie died. Sure, the gangsta scene died down pretty fast, but in fact there was a lot of talent from other places ready to replace it. And some of the best of that talent came together as an ensemble to record some of the best, most fun songs of the year. Here's one of them.

8. "Up Jumps da Boogie" - Timbaland & Magoo ft. Missy Elliott & Aaliyah

 

God, if anyone was there to save rap music in the later years of the 90s, it was.. well, it was pretty much these people. Missy Elliott, Timbaland, Aaliyah. All three masters at their craft and masters at creating great rap and R&B jams.

The song also features Magoo, the Sonny Bono of the Timbaland & Magoo duo. But he really holds his own here, and holding your own with all these artists is certainly nothing to sneeze at. But honestly, it comes through more in the delivery than the lyrics.

No fan of Madonna, she just a damn slut

Thanks for that, Magoo. Slut-shaming is always a good part of any party!

Maybe on a lyrical level not everything works, but the production more than makes up for it, as well as the performances of the artists. If anyone can sell a fart joke, it's Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott. Aaliyah is hauntingly beautiful as always, and the song just plain comes together, for one of the best rap songs of the year.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Wait... this isn't Eagle-Eye Cherry...

7. "All for You" - Sister Hazel

 

There certainly was a boom of these alt-rock one-hit wonders in the latter half of this decade. Whether many of them were any good is another matter entirely, but I think it's safe to say that this is one of the best entries we got this year from that scene.

...Okay, the elephant in the room won't stop staring me down. So for full disclosure, this is where this song was placed in my 1998 list.

Yikes! How to justify this one? Below a Puff Daddy song of all things, my stars.

Well... sometimes I'm in different moods when I do lists. And sometimes certain songs don't hit me as hard the first time around. My 1997 worst list should be more than enough proof of that. With this song, however, it's a different story because it actually immensely grew on me. And... yeah, I'm not sure why I didn't pick up on it sooner. It's a perfectly good alt-rock song with the right amount of southern twang and jangle pop thrown in. This song should have been right up my alley from the get-go. I don't know if it would have made my 1998 Top 10 list proper if I chose to re-do it, but it would have been higher up than I gave it credit for in the past, definitely. It's just a fun song, and I'm happy it exists, all for me.

 

 

Spoiler

 

So, what do you get when you combine rap team-ups and girl power? You get this!

6. "Not Tonight" - Lil' Kim ft. Da Brat, Left Eye, Missy Elliott and Angie Martinez

 

So, follow me a bit. This is the remix, entitled "Ladies Night", also going under the title of "Not Tonight" and it was the one that charted, unlike the original "Not Tonight" featuring just Jermaine Dupri which... doesn't remotely sound like this. Got all that? Good. Now, let's feel the grooves of this song!

Kool & the Gang appeared to be an ever-present influence for the good rap music of 1997. Here we get an interpolation of their song "Ladies' Night", which definitely takes on a new perspective when shown from, well, actual ladies' perspectives. Every gal on this track brings her own, especially Left Eye, who is delightful to hear as always. The ferocity that came from this girl was unstoppable. Truly a great talent lost.

But like I said, every lady brings her own. Missy is obviously great as always. Da Brat has an unstoppably fierce flow, and Angie Martinez and Lil' Kim start off the track right. Everything jams, and I find this a super fun to listen to party song, even more so than "Up Jumps da Boogie". Definitely a lot fewer wack lines here, and it's just a blast. Oh, what a night.

 

 

Spoiler

 

If you remember how much I liked this song in 1996, you shouldn't be surprised to see it here again. Damn good track.

5. "No Diggity" - Blackstreet ft. Dr. Dre

 

Shawty get doooowwwn, good lord.

Would you believe that most of Blackstreet didn't want to record this song? True say. Only Teddy Riley, the guy singing the first verse, pushed for it and as you can see, he got what he wanted. And thank God he did. You just don't get songs with such swagger and poise anymore in R&B. Hell, R&B in general appears to be a dying genre in favour of trap beats. I guess we'll just have to wait for Bruno Mars' pastiche of Blackstreet. Cardi B as Queen Pen? It could happen.

This song was awesome four years ago when I reviewed it, and it still holds up today, possibly even better. Blackstreet were a damn talented group, possibly some of the best in the business. But this song was their monster hit that really brought their talents and swagger to the forefront. This is just a smash of a song, possibly one of the smoothest R&B jams of the decade. Everything about it works. No diggity about it, this song remains a mammoth top hit four years later. Play on, playette.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

After 1994, the pure pop scene started to die down on the whole in the States, in favour of gangsta rap, adult alternative, and other genres. Very few acts in 1995 and 1996 could be classified as purely pop music. Which makes the pop charts a bit weird: certainly they're an amalgamation of what is popular still (well... as best as they could be in the mid-90's), but surely the supposed death of pop music should have been a cause for confusion as far as the charts are concerned? That's a huge genre without much recognition at all.

Well, in 1997, pop music came back with a vengeance. And you probably already know what this song is, so there's no use dancing around it. Yoooooo...

4. "Wannabe" - Spice Girls

 

Say what you will about the pop music of 1997: it brought back actual pop music in a huge way with the Spice Girls, probably one of the most popular in the genre. And it's not hard to see why, with this fireball of a song. I don't care, I love it. You know you love it too, it's one of those songs that everyone secretly harbours some kind of appreciation for, I bet.

It's not like it's one of the deepest or most complex songs to ever hit the Hot 100. But it doesn't need to be. With that inescapable earworm of a chorus, it has all the momentum it needs. Zig-a-zig-ahhh indeed.

And in my opinion, while the Spice Girls have made better music, they've never made more captivating and world-conquering music. Maybe if I were a bigger fan of the group on a whole, I could name a song I like better than this one. But I'm not, so "Wannabe" it is. This is a song that destroys minds and reaps souls in the most sugary wonderful way. It's the textbook example of pop junk food, with enough lyrical substance that it still has a reason to exist beyond that. Spice up your life with this song every so often and we'll be just fine.

 

 

Spoiler

 

3. "Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind

 

And so, we come to the last of our repeats from previous years. Yep, this song's still awesome!

I still feel that Third Eye Blind never got the dues they deserved. They were a consistently solid band with impossibly catchy tunes that got lodged in your head forever. And it's not like their lyrical content was disposable or anything. They had a whole song about suicide, for God's sake. So yeah, overall, this band deserves way more credit than they get. Even in the 2000s they were releasing awesome, catchy music. And we just let them go in favour of artists like Nickelback. Lame.

We need more uplifting songs about crystal meth, I say! Big mood. Let's get a bunch of songs about crystal meth topping the charts in 2018. But only if they're as replayable as this one. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do...

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Batman & Robin was one of the most notoriously bad movies of 1997, indeed of all time. That ol' Schumacher will find just the right formula to make people loathe him. You wouldn't think that anything good would come from that hunk of junk waste of a movie. And yet... we got this on the soundtrack.

2. "Look into My Eyes" - Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

 

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony were straight up one of the most interesting, talented, creative, and just plain awesome acts of the 90's. Every single song they brought their A game, with each of their songs possessing the singsongy flow they had which so many from the 2000s tried to imitate, but no one did it as well as them.

I can't believe this song is actually on the Batman & Robin soundtrack. Seriously? These two things shouldn't be in the same universe, let alone associated with the same album. They should explode when met, like matter and antimatter. But whatever, being on the soundtrack for a lame movie doesn't dampen how great the song is.

It's hard to find the words to describe what makes this song so great. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony is a group I wish there was more of. Not necessarily the same style, but a style all their own that you wouldn't confuse with anyone else. In a year with both good and bad hip hop, Bone Thugs once again rose above to carve out their distinct identity just like each year they're alive. Whether they're going for somber, bouncy, or dark music, they always deliver. Because they're just that good. Unlike this movie, which is bat. I mean bad. Great song though.

 

 

Spoiler

 

So I've spoken at length about the rap music of this year, the good and the bad. But like other years in this decade, the rap reigned supreme. It was a year of hip hop, for better or for worse. While this year rode off the tragedies of Tupac and Biggie, it still provided enough rap hits, and enough good ones, to maintain that credibility for the genre and its power. So there's no better way I can think of closing off this list than with a tribute to one of the best in the game, Biggie Smalls.

 

No, no, no. Not that one.

1. "Hypnotize" - The Notorious B.I.G.

 

I mean, who better to send off Biggie than Biggie himself? The Notorious B.I.G. has had a lot of successful songs over the course of his career, but the last one released in his lifetime remains one of his best. It's just straightforward flexing from someone who can pull it off.

 

"Juicy" may still be my favourite by him. But "Hypnotize" could only have been this good when made off of the legacy of someone who released a song like "Juicy". It's the coolest song of the year, with a slick beat lifted from Herb Alpert's "Rise". And Biggie, as usual, is a master of flow, matching the beat perfectly with his cadence and rhymes.

Sadly, of course, Biggie was taken way too soon by a brutal shooting early in 1997. And that was the final straw for most of the gangsta rap scene. We still had rap music that was great since then, but the era as we knew it ended. And in many ways, this was the swan song for gangsta rap, from one of its most prominent artists. A song of this caliber with this much swagger doesn't make me complain about that fact at all. Rest easy, Biggie. And may your words forever hypnotize.

 

Full List:

Spoiler

 

1. "Hypnotize" - The Notorious B.I.G.

2. "Look into My Eyes" - Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

3. "Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind

4. "Wannabe" - Spice Girls

5. "No Diggity" - Blackstreet ft. Dr. Dre

6. "Not Tonight" - Lil' Kim ft. Da Brat, Left Eye, Missy Elliott and Angie Martinez

7. "All for You" - Sister Hazel

8. "Up Jumps da Boogie" - Timbaland & Magoo ft. Missy Elliott & Aaliyah

9. "Let Me Clear My Throat" - DJ Kool

10. "All Cried Out" - Allure ft. 112

11. "If It Makes You Happy" - Sheryl Crow

12. "Mo Money Mo Problems" - The Notorious B.I.G. ft. Puff Daddy and Mase

13. "Tubthumping" - Chumbawamba

14. "Everyday is a Winding Road" - Sheryl Crow

15. "Smile" - Scarface ft. 2Pac and Johnny P.

16. "Return of the Mack" - Mark Morrison

17. "Fly Like an Eagle" - Seal

18. "Honey" - Mariah Carey

19. "On & On" - Erykah Badu

20. "C U When U Get There" - Coolio ft. 40 Thevz

21. "Building a Mystery" - Sarah McLachlan

22. "I'll Be" - Foxy Brown ft. Jay-Z

23. "Cold Rock a Party" - MC Lyte

24. "No Time" - Lil' Kim ft. Puff Daddy

25. "Say You'll Be There" - Spice Girls

26. "Pony" - Ginuwine

27. "Bitch" - Meredith Brooks

28. "4 Seasons of Loneliness" - Boyz II Men

29. "Do You Know (What It Takes)" - Robyn

30. "I Believe I Can Fly" - R. Kelly

31. "G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T." - Changing Faces

32. "I Like It" - The Blackout All-Stars

33. "Don't Wanna Be a Player" - Joe

34. "Every Time I Close My Eyes" - Babyface

35. "I Want You" - Savage Garden

36. "Foolish Games"/"You Were Meant for Me" - Jewel

37. "Big Daddy" - Heavy D

38. "What About Us" - Total

39. "The One I Gave My Heart To" - Aaliyah

40. "What's on Tonight" - Montell Jordan

41. "Naked Eye" - Luscious Jackson

42. "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" - Puff Daddy ft. Mase

43. "I'll Be Missing You" - Puff Daddy ft. Faith Evans and 112

44. "The Freshmen" - The Verve Pipe

45. "Someone" - SWV and Puff Daddy

46. "You're Makin' Me High"/"Let It Flow" - Toni Braxton

47. "Cupid" - 112

48. "Don't Let Go (Love)" - En Vogue

49. "One More Time" - Real McCoy

50. "You Must Love Me" - Madonna

51. "Go the Distance" - Michael Bolton

52. "Let It Go" - Ray J

53. "Secret Garden" - Bruce Springsteen

54. "Your Woman" - White Town

55. "Barely Breathing" - Duncan Sheik

56. "I Belong to You (Every Time I See Your Face)" - Rome

57. "Sunny Came Home" - Shawn Colvin

58. "You Should Be Mine (Don't Waste Your Time)" - Brian McKnight ft, Mase

59. "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" - Madonna

60. "Where Do You Go" - No Mercy

61. "When You Love a Woman" - Journey

62. "My Love Is the Shhh!" - Somethin' for the People ft. Trina & Tamara

63. "Coco Jambo" - Mr. President

64. "When You're Gone"/"Free to Decide" - The Cranberries

65. "Twisted" - Keith Sweat

66. "Barbie Girl" - Aqua

67. "Butta Love" - Next

68. "MMMBop" - Hanson

69. "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" - Celine Dion

70. "It's Your Love" - Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

71. "2 Become 1" - Spice Girls

72. "Change the World" - Eric Clapton

73. "Ooh Aah... Just a Little Bit" - Gina G

74. "Never Make a Promise" - Dru Hill

75. "In My Bed" - Dru Hill

76. "For You I Will" - Monica

77. "Da' Dip" - Freak Nasty

78. "Invisible Man" - 98 Degrees

79. "Something About the Way You Look Tonight"/"Candle in the Wind 1997" - Elton John

80. "I'm Still in Love with You" - New Edition

81. "I Believe in You and Me" - Whitney Houston

82. "I Love You Always Forever" - Donna Lewis

83. "My Baby Daddy" - B-Rock and the Bizz

84. "I Shot the Sheriff" - Warren G

85. "Gotham City" - R. Kelly

86. "Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)" - Los Del Rio

87. "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" - Az Yet ft. Peter Cetera

88. "The Jock Jam" - Various Artists

89. "Last Night" - Az Yet

90. "Get It Together" - 702

91. "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" - Backstreet Boys

92. "How Do I Live" - LeAnn Rimes

93. "Un-Break My Heart" - Toni Braxton

94. "I Don't Want To"/"I Love Me Some Him" - Toni Braxton

95. "All By Myself" - Celine Dion

96. "Nobody" - Keith Sweat ft. Athena Cage

97. "Mouth" - Merril Bainbridge

98. "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" - Paula Cole

99. "You Make Me Wanna..." - Usher

100. "I Finally Found Someone" - Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams

 

 

[Katniss]

Your thoughts on:

Tubthumping

Everyday is a Winding Road

Bitch

Barbie Girl

Something About the Way You Look Tonight/Candle in the Wind 1997

[Steel Sponge]

Some afterthoughts:

"Say You'll Be There" >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Wannabe"

I do like "Up Jumps da Boogie" quite a bit, but I'll admit that Magoo's voice brings it down for me.

This is only related to 1998, but "Victory" is really good IMO for a Puff Daddy song.

Anyways, you know the drill:

All the Space Jam hits

The Jock Jam

Double Cranberries (R.I.P. Dolores)

If It Makes You Happy

Mo Money Mo Problems

Return of the the Mack

Sunny Came Home

MMMBop

Edited January 17, 2018 by Steel Skeet

[Joe Biden]

Since I have to fill in my request quota for the year, I'd like your thoughts on:

I Shot the Sheriff

The Freshmen

My Love is the Shhhhhh (since I know it was much lower on your 1998 list)

Change the World (as contrarily it's lower here than it was on your 1996 list)

I'll Be Missing You

C U When U Get There

[4EverGreen]

Thoughts on: "I Believe in You and Me" (R.I.P. Whitney Houston); "Don't Cry for Me Argentina / You Must Love Me" by Madonna; "It's All Coming Back to Me Now"; "When You Love a Woman"; "Barely Breathing"; "Don't Let Go (Love)"; "Foolish Games / You Were Meant for Me" by Jewel; "I Want You"; "Building a Mystery"; and "Honey", when you have a chance to do so, please.