Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[4EverGreen]

Both The Beatles and The Rolling Stones had pretty good years in 1965, and I'm SURE The Beach Boys will be on the list somewhere! They're FAR from the only acts, but they are the first three major acts that pop into my mind! I can't wait!

[Katniss]

*looks up the '65 year end list and remembers that Woolly Bully was the #1 song*

[4EverGreen]

What's REALLY weird about THAT distinction, is that "Wooly Bully" never actually HIT #1, it PEAKED at #2!  But I guess that because "Wooly Bully" STAYED at #2 for SO long, it actually OUTLASTED a bunch of songs that peaked at #1, so by simple power of endurance, it BECAME the #1 hit song of the year!  I actually don't find "Wooly Bully" annoying, I actually enjoy it!  Although if Wumbo truly wants to make things right with us, a song by either The Beatles or The Rolling Stones should get the top slot THIS year!

[Wumbo]

So this is one of the big years of music, huh? Then why did it seem like a beta version of '64 to me?

 

I dunno, like... this is still a good year, with lots of good music, but I don't see what's so particularly special about it. It didn't really break new ground that wasn't already broken previously, it just kind of... stayed stagnant. Now, being a new version of 1964 is certainly not a bad thing, mind you, but for all the praise this year got, I was definitely expecting more than this. I hardly even recognized many of these songs.

But! As I do with all years, I shall do again with this year. So let's get things started. Here's...

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 1965

Spoiler

 

*sigh*... it's gonna be one of THOSE years, isn't it?

One of those years where I really don't have that many songs that stand out to me as being bad, so the mediocre ones make their way onto the list. I was afraid of this. But the sooner we get through this, the sooner we can get to the good stuff. So here we go.

10. "You Were on My Mind" - We Five

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-7QHWJOzbE

"Exciting new pop group"? Pish-posh. There were way more exciting things to come out of this year.

I hate to say it, but it seems to me that the main problem of this song comes from the singer. I just don't believe she has any investment in what she's singing. I mean, listen to her. Maybe it's just the recording, but she sounds like she's just constantly droning rather than singing.

(And do we really need four guitars on this song? I can't really distinguish between them, so what's the point... oh, whatever.)

Beyond that, it's just a disposable love song. Not sure why this was one of the biggest hits of the year, but I guess it's certainly a safe song, probably more than anything else. And that's kinda sad.

 

 

Spoiler

 

...yeah, this list is gonna be a bit hard to get through.

9. "I'm Telling You Now" - Freddie and the Dreamers

 

Truly, there is nothing to say here. Another disposable pop song by a long-forgotten group from the 60s. I mean, you know, that is until he starts laughing like a hyena for no good reason.

http://ytcropper.com/cropped/kU59c2d7f4b880b

Thanks. That was necessary.

Beyond that, not much to grasp on. I get the feeling that this group was meant to be a little on the goofy side, but if that's the case, then why isn't it more wacky? This is a boring song from a supposedly fun group, minus the mental breakdown in the middle of the song. So... yeah. It sure did exist. But I wish it didn't.

 

 

Spoiler

 

...Enh?

8. "Ferry Cross the Mersey" - Gerry and the Pacemakers

 

We go from the annoying and boring to the just plain boring. I'm not sure what to say, honestly. At the very least, Gerry appears not to have that bad a voice, but the song is so dull I instantly forget about it the second it ends. Apparently this was on a soundtrack to a film by the same name? Whatever. It's certainly not for me. If it's for you, great. I prefer my music a bit bouncier or more emotional than this. This is just like a wet towel to me, bland and useless.

 

 

Spoiler

 

...

7. "Save Your Heart for Me" - Gary Lewis & the Playboys

 

I... I got nothin'.

Just another bland, lame, milquetoast song that has no business being one of the big hits of the year. This seems to be a spiritual successor to "Save the Last Dance for Me", though by "spiritual successor" I mean "sad rip-off". One good thing I can say about this song at least is that it's mercifully short. Just like this review of it.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Sonny and Cher were two of the biggest names for a while, not just in music, but in pop culture as well. Of course, one was certainly a bigger name than the other, and looking at the solo careers of each of them, it's not exactly hard to see why.

6. "Laugh at Me" - Sonny

 

Holy shit, this guy could not sing. Who told him he could sing? What is he even doing here? Bob Dylan singing through a fan? Stop it.

Actually, this is pretty Dylan-sounding in general, except with the good instrumentation or lyrics. All we have is the Dylan-y voice, and when you don't have anything else to back it up, you're left with... well, this. Fuck this.

Yeah, it's not hard to see why Cher was the breakout star between the two and Sonny never had a solo hit again. It's pretty easy to take his request at face value, too. Laugh! Everyone laugh! Hahahaha! I'd laugh more if it wasn't so pathetic.

 

 

Spoiler

 

And now that we're done laughing, back to the boring!

5. "Take Me Back" - Little Anthony and the Imperials

 

1965 still had a few of these songs that feel like they could have fit into earlier years this decade. But, y'know, fair enough. 1963 wasn't too far off and it's not like every song from that era was bad. But this one most certainly is. It just feels... off. Like a first draft of a song more than anything.

Little Anthony does nothing to impress me here. His vocals are not only unimpressive and annoying, he doesn't even sound like he's singing on the beat. It's like... you know you can do a second take, right guys? Sometimes people do that!

*sigh* I don't know what Todd's complaining about when he has to cover boring songs for later years in his Bottom 10s. Most of these 60s lists definitely fit the bill in that regard. You want boring and incompetent? Well, here ya go. Jesus Christ.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Remember novelty songs?

 

Shit like "Alley Oop" that has zero resonance today because it was created on a whim that people would listen to it, find it hilarious, and buy the copies? Well, they didn't go away after the early 60's, no sir! Just as a random example, would you ever want a song about a canned vegetable company? No? Well, that's absurd! Clearly, Billboard knows what's best for you.

4. "The Jolly Green Giant" - The Kingsmen

 

This is stupid and pointless.

Okay, at the very least, the Green Giant company still exists today, but that doesn't make this song only more relevant to... well, anything today. People complain about artists selling out in more modern music, but like... here's a song explicitly about a vegetable company's mascot!

Why on God's green (giant) earth would anyone want to listen to this? Was this soon-to-be counterculture public really so enamored by their TV mascots that they would pay good money to listen to shit like this? It's no wonder there was an uprising.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ilBsr9n3o

And look, full disclosure: I like the Green Giant guy. I was always charmed by those commercials as a kid. But he should stay where he belongs: as a mascot. Not the subject of some dopey pop song that thinks that saying the names of vegetables in a "funny" voice is enough to justify a song's existence. Artichoke hearts! Celery stalks! Brussels sprouts! Am I a hitmaker yet?

Actually, did Green Giant even sell all that stuff? I really only remember, like, carrots, peas, corn, and beans. Did these guys just want an excuse to sing about vegetables? Christ, this gets worse the more I think about it.

I guess when you've basically paid for the rest of your life with "Louie Louie", you don't really need to try anymore. But oh no, this song's gotta go.

 

 

Spoiler

 

But hey, it could always be worse. Rather than have your novelty song simply be annoying, why not go for awkward and uncomfortable as well?

3. "The Birds and the Bees" - Jewel Akens

 

Actually, could you... could you not tell us about the birds and the bees? I don't think I'm ready to hear it from this song.

This song just leaves me... icky. Who is it for? Is it supposed to substitute for actually having the talk with your kids? Doesn't seem that way, because there's really nothing to grasp on to here that would be educational. Is it, heaven forbid, a love song? Well... if your girl doesn't know about the birds and the bees already, she might be too young for you, bro. Just a thought.

What a stupid song this is. I really have no patience for these songs that forget to pack a brain cell with them when so much more thoughtful and thought-provoking music has a chance of hitting the Hot 100. On the plus side, when given the option of teaching their kids about the facts of life or listening to this song, they would probably go for the sit-down with their kids. So, congratulations on enforcing good behaviour, song. Just probably not in the way you intended. Otherwise, fuck off.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

1965 was a good year for some of the biggest bands of all time. Beatles, Stones, Beach Boys... naturally, you'd expect one of those mammoth hitmakers to top the list proper.

Instead... we got this.

2. "Wooly Bully" - Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs

 

I am so sick of novelty songs I am so sick of novelty songs goddamit goddamit make it STOP

That's right. Not The Beatles. Not The Stones. Not The Beach Boys. This was the most-listened to song of the year, staying on the charts for a then-impressive 18 weeks. It never actually hit #1, but it had enough staying power to take the top spot.

We had such good music this year... and I'm supposed to believe that this crap was what the public was constantly listening to. What is this song even about, anyway? C'mon, what's its core appeal here?

Okay, so the "Wooly Bully" is this creature... and it apparently wants to dance... or... maybe not... the two themes don't really connect in any way... oh, what am I doing?! What the fuck am I doing? This is a stupid song for the sake of being stupid. No thought needs to be put into this, the end. And take off that turban, you racist moron.

 

 

Spoiler

 

By all accounts, this #1 spot really does deserve to go to "Wooly Bully"... but in the end, I'd rather at least feel something from a song than nothing. And this song, sad to say, makes me feel absolutely nothing.

1. "Baby Don't Go" - Sonny & Cher

 

I honestly don't know if I have an adequate enough explanation for this one to place it above "Wooly Bully", but... yeah. This song, despite everything it may have going for it, is boring and bland and a waste of Cher's talent. And usually I have a long dissertation on all the reasons I don't like my #1, but this one, I... just don't. It just feels like blankness to me. Thankfully, Cher has many, many great hits, and honestly I don't think objectively this one is even bad, but for me personally? I would honestly rather listen to anything else on this list. So there ya go.

 

 

[Wumbo]

Like I said, 1965, with all the hype it was given, honestly disappointed me a little. But it's not like it was a bad year by any means; I just had my expectations really high. For what it's worth, these songs are still amazing. Stupendous. Tremendous, even! Why waste any more time? Let's jump right into...

Wumbo's Top 10 Hits of 1965

Spoiler

 

Oh, you know how I love me a good instrumental. And brother, this is a good instrumental.

10. "The 'In' Crowd" - Ramsey Lewis Trio

 

Not much to say about this one here, except it's jazztastic and I love it. Reminds me a lot of the Ray Charles jams back in the earlier days of the chart, like his version of "One Mint Julep".

I'd say this song certainly holds its own. Dobie Gray does the original version of this song, but as with "Mint Julep", I'd say the instrumental cover trumps it. Nothing against Dobie, but this cover is just jazzier and more fun. Honestly though, I'm surprised it was the one to become a hit. I guess '65 still had a faint taste for instrumentals. All the better for me to cover 'em.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Oh, you know how I love me a good soul song. And brother...

9. "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me" - Mel Carter

 

This is one of those songs that just gets overpowered by how damn good the singer is. Besides that, it's really nothing special. It might be a song that would fit comfortably into the middle of 1961. But Mel Carter definitely sells his stuff. He is the reason this song is on this list.

A great singer takes an okay song to new heights. None of these concepts are really that new, but listening to Mel Carter, you'd think they are. He's got such a powerful voice to take this simple song to the next level. Not much else to say except job well done. Damn well.

 

 

Spoiler

 

As I said in my 1970 review, The Temptations can take practically anything and turn it into magic. Here's what they did with one particular song this year.

8. "My Girl" - The Temptations

 

Here's what made The Temptations so great: in their Classic Five era, they had not one, but five distinct, talented voices in their group. David Ruffin sings lead on this track, and he is just perfect in his role. And the other singers back him up wonderfully.

It's another simple song: a dude's happy that he has his girl. But it works because of how much conviction is put into the performance. Just... The Temptations are amazing. One of the most versatile early groups, and nailed it with nearly everything they did. Fantastic.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I feel like I haven't given the Righteous Brothers a fair shake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjQPX_aOYj0

I put one of their songs on one of my worst lists, and yet they're nowhere to be found on a best list of mine! What gives? Well... maybe I was just waiting for the right(eous) time. And that time is now.

7. "Just Once in My Life" - The Righteous Brothers

 

Bill Medley's voice is one of the greatest things you'll ever hear in your life. One listen and you're taken to a blissful heaven you could have never experienced beforehand. It's that good. I love Bobby Hatfield too, but Bill's definitely my preferred of the two. The power in this performance is unbelievable. Righteous, even.

A lot of these songs have been pretty boringly perfect so far, so there's not much to say. But it definitely gets better as the list goes on, and it's hard to top these guys at their best. So enjoy the rest of the list.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I praise The Temptations for their versatility and diversity in their music. But if I'm going to praise raw talent in 60's singing groups, I have to give it up to Four Tops.

6. "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)" - Four Tops

 

The Four Tops are definitely one of the top groups of this era. Kind of like the male equivalent to The Supremes; just perfect in everything they do. Again, definitely a simple song here. Most of these songs so far have been love songs to some degree. And this song just comes right out and says it with the pet names.

I think if this list proves anything, it's that I don't need complexity to love a pop song. I just need an ounce of brains and a load of talent. And Four Tops definitely deliver here, as they always do. I can't help myself, you know I love this song.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

We all know and love The Beatles today. But I really think you had to be there to understand just how amazingly huge this band was. Not only were they selling albums and singles, they also made a bunch of movies! Yeah, they were movie stars too. A few of their albums ended up soundtracking these movies, and it just so happens that one of my favourite songs by the band shares a title with one.

5. "Help!" - The Beatles

 

John Lennon has gone on record saying this one of the most honest songs he's ever written, which kind of says a lot about his psyche. Especially if you pair it with "Strawberry Fields Forever", which he has also said is one of the most honest songs he's ever written. Kind of the two sides of Lennon there. I know "Strawberry Fields" has its fans, and I appreciate it too, but if I'm going for which one I like better, I'd definitely have to go with this.

The song reeks of desperation, but in a good way, as in it's the theme of the song proper. And in that context, it can make for a damn fireball of a song. I love the way it begins with the harsh guitar and backing vocals, and Lennon just breaking through. And then it has its softer moments, all coming together for one hell of a song.

This was the start of The Beatles' foray into more complex music and themes, I think. This was the same album that carried the brilliant "Yesterday", after all. And while I do appreciate The Beatles' early stuff for just how much fun it is, I definitely appreciate the more complex stuff a bit more. You can see the seeds being sown, and it's fantastic to listen to.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Of course, there's still something to say about a simple, yet catchy-as-hell soul song. and that's what we've got here.

4. "Shotgun" - Junior Walker & the All-Stars

 

Like I said, there's something to be said for complexity and evolution in music. But there's also something to be said for just having a kickass band that you can dance to. That's exactly what we have here in Junior Walker & the All-Stars.

This is up there with "The Twist" as just one of those eternally great songs of the 60s that practically invite you on the dance floor. Again, it's just simply perfect and there's not much to go off of, but for what we have, I absolutely love it.

 

 

Spoiler

 

3. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones

 

Really, there's no better intro to this song than just playing the song. So I didn't bother.

This song is perfection, and you don't need me telling you that. It is one of the ultimate rock songs of all time, ranking high on list after list of the greatest rock songs. And again, it's not like it's complex prog rock or anything. The song is a jam regardless. The simple concepts of being sexually unsatisfied as well as fed up with commercialism really fuel the rampant frustration in the song. Can't get no satisfaction indeed.

Mick Jagger takes center stage here with his performance, going from controlled to deranged, quiet to loud, he runs the gamut. If you want a classic rock jam that satisfies you, this is all the satisfaction you'll need.

 

 

Spoiler

 

It feels a shame to write an intro for this one after asserting that my last song needed no intro... but honestly, at some point, I just have to question whether I'm even doing my job with this stuff. So, once again, let me present to you... The Righteous Brothers!

2. "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin" - The Righteous Brothers

 

Another fantastic performance by Bill. This is around the point where the egalitarian nature between the two was starting to come apart, and Bill would sing the entire intro before Bobby would come in. But hey, Bobby got his own song later, so there's that. But yeah, this is my preferred one.

Again, I can't even express how much I love Bill Medley's voice. He's one of those performers that can carry any sort of song he's given. There's nothing quite like it, not just in blue-eyed soul, but soul in general. There's a certain tone he has that just... resonates. His voice alone can bring back that lovin' feelin', I feel.

There's something annoying about writing about these performances that need no explanation. Just listen to Bill and you'll understand why. And you'll never lose that lovin' feelin' again.

 

 

Spoiler

 

It was tough to pick a #1 this year! Certainly a lot of contenders, between The Righteous Brothers, The Stones, The Beatles. But then I happened to come across a song that may have been the progenitor for one of my favourite genres in music history: funk.

 

One of the main reasons the 70s was great was funk. Holy shit, funk. I could go on and on about how many great funk songs there were in the 70s. But that's not where we are on the timeline. So we have to go back to 1965... and we have to go back to James Brown.

1. "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" - James Brown

 

You have to give James Brown credit: as shitty a person he was, he made some damn fine music and set the stage for countless artists to come after him. Michael Jackson, Prince, the list goes on. And it's not hard to see why he was such an influence, by pretty much creating a new genre of music all his own, he was truly an innovator.

Again, shows that the best songs can come out of the simplest concepts. Ain't no drag, Papa just wants to dance on the dance floor. The jerk, the monkey, the mashed potato. It's all there. It's definitely a precursor to "Land of 1000 Dances" in just name-checking dances. But you're invested all the way through, because Brown is. He was truly a legend in his own category, and his songs ain't never a drag to listen to.

 

 

Full List:

Spoiler

 

1. "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" - James Brown

2. "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" - The Righteous Brothers

3. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones

4. "Shotgun" - Junior Walker & the All-Stars

5. "Help!" - The Beatles

6. "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)" - Four Tops

7. "Just Once in My Life" - The Righteous Brothers

8. "My Girl" - The Temptations

9. "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me" - Mel Carter

10. "The 'In' Crowd" - Ramsey Lewis Trio

11. "Stop! In the Name of Love" - The Supremes

12. "Back in My Arms Again" - The Supremes

13. "Ticket to Ride" - The Beatles

14. "Unchained Melody" - The Righteous Brothers

15. "Goldfinger" - Shirley Bassey

16. "Like a Rolling Stone" - Bob Dylan

17. "The Tracks of My Tears" - The Miracles

18. "It's The Same Old Song" - Four Tops

19. "All Day and All of the Night" - The Kinks

20. "Hang On Sloopy" - The McCoys

21. "I Know a Place" - Petula Clark

22. "Eve of Destruction" - Barry McGuire

23. "I'll Be Doggone" - Marvin Gaye

24. "Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter" - Herman's Hermits

25. "Help Me, Rhonda" - The Beach Boys

26. "Baby, I'm Yours" - Barbara Lewis

27. "Eight Days a Week" - The Beatles

28. "Down in the Boondocks" - Billy Joe Royal

29. "Just a Little" - The Beau Brummels

30. "Game of Love" - Wayne Fontana & the Mindbenders

31. "This Diamond Ring" - Gary Lewis & the Playboys

32. "Downtown" - Petula Clark

33. "Cara Mia" - Jay and the Americans

34. "It's Not Unusual" - Tom Jones

35. "We Gotta Get out of This Place" - The Animals

36. "All I Really Want to Do" - Cher

37. "Do You Believe in Magic"  - The Lovin' Spoonful

38. "Go Now" - The Moody Blues

39. "California Girls" - The Beach Boys

40. "Nowhere to Run" - Martha and the Vandellas

41. "Heart Full of Soul" - The Yardbirds

42. "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)" - Marvin Gaye

43. "Laugh, Laugh" - The Beau Brummels

44. "The Last Time" - The Rolling Stones

45. "Love Potion No. 9" - The Searchers

46. "She's About a Mover" - Sir Douglas Quintet

47. "Wonderful World" - Herman's Hermits

48. "Shake" - Sam Cooke

49. "Yes, I'm Ready" - Barbara Mason

50. "A Walk in the Black Forest" - Horst Jankowski

51. "What's New Pussycat?" - Tom Jones

52. "The Boy from New York City" - The Ad Libs

53. "Keep Searchin' (We'll Follow the Sun)" - Del Shannon

54. "Mr. Tambourine Man" - The Byrds

55. "Ooo Baby Baby" - The Miracles

56. "Hold What You've Got" - Joe Tex

57. "You've Got Your Troubles" - The Fortunes

58. "You Turn Me On" - Ian Whitcomb

59. "Cast Your Fate to the Wind" - Sounds Orchestral

60. "Crying in the Chapel" - Elvis Presley

61. "I'll Never Find Another You" - The Seekers

62. "Count Me In" - Gary Lewis & the Playboys

63. "For Your Love" - The Yardbirds

64. "Baby the Rain Must Fall" - Glenn Yarbrough

65. "Too Many Rivers" - Brenda Lee

66. "I Want Candy" - The Strangeloves

67. "Catch Us If You Can" - The Dave Clark Five

68. "Treat Her Right" - Roy Head

69. "Tired of Waiting for You" - The Kinks

70. "What the World Needs Now is Love" - Jackie DeShannon

71. "King of the Road" - Roger Miller

72. "The Name Game" - Shirley Ellis

73. "Laurie (Strange Things Happen)" - Dickey Lee

74. "I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am" - Herman's Hermits

75. "The Seventh Son" - Johnny Rivers

76. "Red Roses for a Blue Lady" - Bert Kaempfert

77. "Tell Her No" - The Zombies

78. "It Ain't Me Babe" - The Turtles

79. "Don't Just Stand There" - Patty Duke

80. "Little Things" - Bobby Goldsboro

81. "I'm a Fool" - Dino, Desi & Billy

82. "The Race Is On" - Jack Jones

83. "I Like It Like That" - The Dave Clark Five

84. "True Love Ways" - Peter and Gordon

85. "Red Roses for a Blue Lady" - Vic Dana

86. "I Go to Pieces" - Peter and Gordon

87. "I Got You Babe" - Sonny & Cher

88. "Can't You Hear My Heartbeat" - Herman's Hermits

89. "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte" - Patti Page

90. "Silhouettes" - Herman's Hermits

91. "You Were on My Mind" - We Five

92. "I'm Telling You Now" - Freddie and the Dreamers

93. "Ferry Cross the Mersey" - Gerry and the Pacemakers

94. "Save Your Heart for Me" - Gary Lewis & the Playboys

95. "Laugh at Me" - Sonny

96. "Take Me Back" - Little Anthony and the Imperials

97. "The Jolly Green Giant" - The Kingsmen

98. "The Birds and the Bees" - Jewel Akens

99. "Wooly Bully" - Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs

100. "Baby Don't Go" - Sonny & Cher

 

 

[Katniss]

Thoughts on:

Ticket to Ride

Eve of Destruction 

Eight Days a Week

All Day and All of the Night

I Got You Babe

[Joe Biden]

Not sure what to say about most of these songs except they're completely.............righteous.

 

Thoughts on:

Like a Rolling Stone

Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter

Help Me, Rhonda

California Girls

It's Not Unusual

I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am

Stop! In the Name of Love

What's New Pussycat

Do You Believe in Magic

Hang On Sloopy

[Steel Sponge]

Thoughts on:

Unchained Melody

Goldfinger

Tired of Waiting for You

I Want Candy

The Last Time

Mr. Tambourine Man

Go Now

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)

[Wumbo]

"Ticket to Ride": Definitely another top Beatles song of mine. It's more reminiscent of their earlier songs, but I can still appreciate it.

"Eve of Destruction": The guy's voice is honestly a little hard to stomach, but y'know, there's a reason he's like that. Life sucks, and Barry McGuire's not afraid to tell it.

"Eight Days a Week": A Beatles song definitely more reminiscent of their earlier stuff. Again, not a bad thing, but I prefer later Beatles.

"All Day and All of the Night": When it comes to English rock bands making simple songs, The Kinks certainly threw their hat into the ring. This song in particular at least rivals what The Beatles and Stones were putting out at the time.

"I Got You Babe": I honestly never really liked this song all that much. This feels like a kitschy song from the 70s to me, if I'm being brutal here. Cher made much better music on her own.

"Like a Rolling Stone": Another hard-to-stomach voice for some. Honestly though, I do prefer the original Dylan to his more gravelly cousin, Barry McGuire. There's something more charming about his presence, he knew his way around a song and knew how to be a star.

"Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter": Herman's Hermits overall didn't really elicit much of a reaction from me either way, but this was my favourite of the songs they put out this year.

"Help Me, Rhonda"/"California Girls": I've softened my stance on The Beach Boys considerably. I don't know how often I would come back to them in my leisure, but they are a good band. I can't think of much to say about them, though, which is why I condensed this opinion of these two songs.

"It's Not Unusual": It's hard for me to separate this song from the Carlton, but honestly I think that's to the song's benefit. Tom Jones has always been on the decent side of "meh" to me, but hell yeah give me more Fresh Prince flashbacks.

"I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am": Kinda sorta insufferable.

"Stop! In the Name of Love": The Supremes just missed the list this year, which honestly surprises even me.

"What's New Pussycat?": I think the extent of my enjoyment of Tom Jones ends at references to TV shows I love.

"Do You Believe in Magic": This song is... nice. It's just... nice. It's about drugs, isn't it?

"Hang on Sloopy": Never thought I would care this much about a girl named Sloopy, but this song certainly does its job.

"Unchained Melody": I feel like in my Top 10 I didn't really give Bobby Hatfield a fair shake. While it's true Bill Medley is my preferred of the two, Bobby Hatfield more than holds his own here. And hey, this is apparently Simon Cowell's favourite song, so make of that what you will.

"Goldfinger": Shirley Bassey needs to do every Bond theme song, god damn it. Move over, Adele!

"Tired of Waiting for You": While I loved "All Day", this song didn't do much for me. I guess The Kinks put all their effort into one song this year.

"I Want Candy": Disposable pop music that managed to stick around through countless candy commercials. Eh, whatever.

"The Last Time": Pretty unremarkable Stones song, but even their unremarkable stuff is usually decent, at least.

"Mr. Tambourine Man": This is one of those big songs that I think I'm supposed to love, but I honestly just find mediocre. It's a bit too sleepy for me, I guess? Too blissed out on 60's drugs? I dunno.

"Go Now": Not a well-remembered Moody Blues song, but a good one nonetheless.

"How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)": This song is perfectly fine. I think my expectations of Marvin Gaye are just exceptionally high.

[4EverGreen]

Thoughts on: "I Like it Like That; The Name Game; Yes I'm Ready; Love Potion No. 9; All I Really Want to Do; Downtown; This Diamond Ring;" and "Down in the Boondocks" please. Also, what year are you going to cover next?

[Wumbo]

"I Like It Like That": The Dave Clark Five are a completely uninteresting band to me. They're like the base level of all the other bands doing the same thing at the same time, only those bands did it better.

"The Name Game": Not terrible, I guess, but too silly for my tastes.

"Yes, I'm Ready": A perfectly decent song.

"Love Potion No. 9": I actually had never really heard this song before, and I think I was expecting it to be more interesting than it was. I dunno, like a Monster Mash deal or something? As is though, it was still okay.

"All I Really Want to Do": As I said, Cher made far better music on her own. While this isn't a particularly remarkable single, no Sonny is good by me.

"Downtown": I've come to appreciate Petula Clark. She's like Lesley Gore Lite, which makes it kind of surprising that I like her songs, as, y'know, Lesley Gore ain't a heavy metal singer or anything. But this song, for example. It's really... cute.

"This Diamond Ring": Much like many soul and funk records in the 70s blend together for me in any given year, so too do pop rock groups in the 60s. I remember liking this one well enough, though.

"Down in the Boondocks": I liked this one. It felt very earnest and real to me, in a way that some similar songs this year didn't.

As for my next year to cover... well, now that I'm back on track, you'll have to wait until October for that announcement. 

[Wumbo]

Well, happy October, everyone! Well, everyone in my time zone and beyond, anyway. So the next year that I have for you is...

1982

Oh yeah. Let's get physical. Top and Bottom 10 coming at the end of the month!

[Joe Biden]

I remember saying earlier in this thread and Xat that I thought this was a better year than 1981. Not really as top-tier as the three years that follow it but it still has a few memorable classics like Centerfold, I Love Rock n Roll, and Eye of the Tiger. All songs I'm hoping appears on or near your Top 10.

 

yikes @ those three air supply songs on there i know what'll be on your bottom 10

[4EverGreen]

We might even see The Eurythmics this year! This is the year they actually RELEASED their land-mark album "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)". I hope it actually SHOWS up, and it isn't another one of THOSE deals where the album is actually RELEASED one year but doesn't chart until the next! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

[Wumbo]

2 hours ago, 4EverGreen said:

We might even see The Eurythmics this year! This is the year they actually RELEASED their land-mark album "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)". I hope it actually SHOWS up, and it isn't another one of THOSE deals where the album is actually RELEASED one year but doesn't chart until the next! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

my dude

my dude i hate to break it to you

singles are different than albums my dude

[Katniss]

6 hours ago, 4EverGreen said:

We might even see The Eurythmics this year! This is the year they actually RELEASED their land-mark album "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)". I hope it actually SHOWS up, and it isn't another one of THOSE deals where the album is actually RELEASED one year but doesn't chart until the next! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Actually that album wasn't released until 1983 [a year Wumbo already covered btw; Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) was #4 on his best list].And that's usually the deal with albums because artists always release singles after the album comes out, though they will release a single or two beforehand. 

Edited October 2, 2017 by Katniss

[Wumbo]

like for real this is getting old

if you just go to the wikipedia article for the year-end list you will know definitively what has a shot at making my top 10

[Steel Sponge]

Just thought that I'd also point this out: the year-end lists do not represent the biggest hits from the year, they represent the biggest hits of the year. In addition, the year-end lists determine a song's performance during the December-November tracking period. So granted, if a hit album or single was released late into a year, it's considered more successful in the later year because tracking period was over or was almost done when the album or single started to become a success.

Like what Wumbo said, all these year-end lists are right here, including 1982:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billboard_Year-End_Hot_100_singles_of_1982

 

Now, on topic of the review for 1982, I can't wait. It's one of those iconic years alongside its three successors 1983, 1984, and 1985.

Also, #GiveWumboANine

Edited October 2, 2017 by Steel Sponge

[Wumbo]

After the honestly pretty lackluster years of 1980 and 1981, with 1982 comes an honest-to-god, bonafide, year from the 80's.

 

For better or worse, we are now firmly planted into this decade of sleek pop, weird new wave, and cheesy novelty. So let's get this show on the road with...

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 1982

Spoiler

 

 

Kenny Rogers was a wildly successful country artist through the late 70s to early 80s. I find most of his stuff to be mediocre and milquetoast, but usually I can still find at least some charm to it. I didn't find any here, though.

10. "Love Will Turn You Around" - Kenny Rogers

 

With a few exceptions, the early 80's were a kind of boring time for country music in general, and Kenny Rogers didn't really do much to stave off that opinion. I mean, seriously, listen to this. It sounds like a Bob Seger song that never starts.

I tried not to make my list so boring this time around, but I really do have to keep myself honest. And usually the batshit insanely bad stuff at least has that level of intrigue to keep it off the list. And unfortunately, this means that stuff like this I don't have much to say about makes the list instead. Sorry. Is it any wonder I prefer doing the top lists?

 

 

Spoiler

 

See, this is exactly what I mean when I say "boring shit I don't have much to say about". Like... why?

9. "Personally" - Karla Bonoff

 

I'll give it this: these guys in the music video sure look like they're having fun! And... well... that's about it. I'm certainly not having fun.

Jesus Christ. What is up with these artists that release songs with absolutely no high point? It just stays this monotonous drone throughout. What's the point? Why should I care about this song in the slightest? About the only good thing in the song is the sax solo, but by the time that comes along it's already too late. The song has already used up all its potential and momentum that it may have had, and I just can't get invested in any way. Personally, I think this song kinda sucks.

 

 

Spoiler

 

They're the same song they're the same god damn FUCKING song jesus

8. "Cool Night" - Paul Davis

 

7. "Eye in the Sky" - The Alan Parsons Project

 

I swear to God, I hate soft rock more and more with each new list I do. Not only is it detestable to me, boring as hell, but it also gives me nothing to say in these write-ups.

Take these songs, for example. Maybe they don't quite sound the same, but seriously. If you put either of these songs on a Spotify radio station, I guarantee the other one would show up, as well as a whole bunch of other boring soft rock dirge.

I think what really gets me about these soft rock songs are the ones that just sound completely joyless for no goddamn reason. That's the problem with soft rock in general; the limitations of the genre don't allow for any joy to be expressed in these songs, so instead you get these depressing voices and melodies desperately trying to sound like anything else, but unable to do so. The Paul Davis song is so woefully uninteresting that I won't spend another second on it, but let's look at "The Alan Parsons Project" for a brief blip.

 

So, before these guys turned to soft rock, they used to be actual progressive rock musicians, with, you know, not the greatest of chops, but at least a sense of intrigue in their music. Flush that straight down the toilet for some easy listening garbage that only contains slivers of what they originally stood for in their music. What am I supposed to do with "Eye in the Sky" after listening to this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing is the answer to that. And if soft rock is seriously your thing in comparison to prog rock, well, have at it. Me, I'll stick with music that actually makes me have some sort of reaction. Christ, we're setting the bar low today, aren't we? The Alan Parsons Project gets a D- here.

 

 

Spoiler

 

And now we take some time out of boring soft rock to go back to boring country. Gee, I sure wish I hated the ridiculous stuff more than I do! Would make for a much more interesting list, I tell ya... *sigh*

6. "Love in the First Degree" - Alabama

 

I mean, I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be country. It's from Alabama, for Christ's sake. If you name your band after a state like Alabama, you have to be country, right? But... if I didn't know it was supposed to be country, well, you coulda fooled me.

Okay, so there's some interesting stuff going on with the lyrics here, at least, but I cannot get into it because it just bores me to tears. It pretty much is just a soft rock song with guitar twang and a vaguely country-sounding voice. Beyond that, again, not much to say. I certainly wasn't expecting to put this below Air Supply songs. If you're below Air Supply, you need help. Pronto. That's all I have to say about that.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I mean, I had room for at least one shitty, awful song that I had things to say about. Let's look at that, shall we?

5. "Physical" - Olivia Newton-John

 

I... hate... Olivia Newton-John's music. Real talk: it's just the worst thing ever. I haven't liked a single Olivia Newton-John song I've come across, and this is one of the most egregious examples of her complete lack of ability to produce listenable music. I mean, my God.

I've been trying to pin down exactly what it is that I can't stand about Olivia Newton-John. I considered leaving this song off the list, because the production here is honestly not terrible. It's a little corny, but y'know, you've got the guitar solo there. It works... sorta. But the main problem with all of this, that I've discovered, is that Olivia Newton-John just flat out, no bullshit, cannot sing.

I find her to be a wretched performer. She sounds like her voice is constantly straining and she wouldn't make it past the preliminary round on American Idol. And it's a shame, because this song could have worked maybe if it came later and was handed off to a Madonna, or Janet Jackson, hell, even Paula Abdul could do better. The song sounds too big for Olivia Newton-John, and it's not like there are particularly big notes here, either. Speaks more to her lack of talent than anything.

I'm sorry, I just cannot stand it. It is poison to my ears, and the only thing this song inspires me to do is get physical enough to unplug my headphones. Ick.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Australia just had heinous pop music in the early 80's. Make no mistake.

4. "Sweet Dreams" - Air Supply

 

This song is basically Air Supply's "Physical", in that it's completely out of their depth and just sounds like garbage overall. Air Supply had two other songs this year, which I considered for the list, but I decided to leave this one standing on its own because... well, it's a special kind of godawful.

This band sucks. Another artist where I seriously can't think of a single song I enjoy by them. But y'know, at their "best", they're relatively inoffensive. At worst, they're... this. I don't even know what this is. It sounds like they were trying to be Styx... like, the non-shitty version of Styx. But while Styx are actually capable of making good music, Air Supply just don't have it in 'em. What results is possibly one of the most unfocused and just plain garbage songs of the year. Air Supply do not have the chops to back up these musical choices, and it shows, because they have no idea what to do with them. Everything feels hastily woven together.

Air Supply... I'm never going to like you, okay? So it makes no sense to try to impress me with your guitar solos and big booming choruses. You can't pull it off. Stick to what you're good at: sucking.

 

Spoiler

 

Like I said, '82 was the year when pop music officially changed from the 70s' cigarette butts to a new decade. This meant that bands from the 70s had to officially get with the times and try something new. The interesting thing is, when your band has already sucked for a good six years at this point at least, you can transform into a different, more hipper kind of suck pretty flawlessly.

3. "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" - Chicago

 

Hello, Chicago. You knew you were gonna show up here at some point, didn't you?

Like I said, Chicago had long since given up being an interesting band for quite some time before this, foraying into the soft rock genre pretty unapologetically. But when the 80s rolled around, soft rock started sucking even more, somehow. So Chicago were right on the money with their switch, switching out horns for synths and selling right the fuck out. Chicago would go on to be an occasional pain in the ass for the rest of the decade, but you all knew that already. What is there even left to say about this fucking hollow shell of a band? That Peter Cetera! He sure has a punchable voice! Ugh.

 

 

Spoiler

 

2. "Key Largo" - Bertie Higgins

 

Unfortunately, I don't have much to say about this one. I simply found it to be the most nothing song on this entire list. Even worse than Chicago and Air Supply. Pretty damn bad!

Oh, and I guess it references classic movies. Yee-ha? Referencing classic romances doesn't make your song classic. If you don't have the tune to back it up, it honestly just makes it more obnoxious. But I've already given this song more attention than it deserves, honestly. Fucking discount Michael McDonald shit right here.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I... I hate talking about the boring shit. I really do. But, like I said, gotta keep it honest here. If I didn't put the songs I truly hated the most in my list, then there would be no point to the whole thing. It would just be "hey, let's pick on these songs that people have picked on a million times over". So no, there's no "Ebony and Ivory" on my list. Nor "Pac-Man Fever". But all the same, this #1 song is one I found so heinous that I couldn't let it slip behind all the boring, lifeless shit. This song offends me on a musical and lyrical level that not many songs do. And worst of all, it comes right the fuck out of nowhere from a band that, in the past, if they didn't make amazing songs, were at least competent. But this... Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is this?

1. "Abracadabra" - Steve Miller Band

 

I knew pretty much instantly that this would be my #1 pick for the worst. This song is so stupid and ugly that it makes me want to puke. And I'm sure others won't agree. Like, there's nothing egregiously offensive about it. But all the same, it does offend.

Who... who the fuck decided that the production should be built around a synth riff that barely ever changes and never fucking stops? I swear, this production gives me anxiety. Anything that could have been salvaged by the guitar is lost in that synth and the weird "futuristic" sounds. And it just gets worse and worse as the song goes on. Seriously, am I in hell?

And then there's the lyrics.

Abra, abracadabra

I wanna reach out and grab ya

This is a Top 10 stupid lyric, like one of the worst I've ever heard. And the rest of the song isn't much better! This whole song sounds like it was written in two minutes, like Steve Miller got his band together and said "hey, let's write a song... for the 80's. Nothing else, just... the 80's." And this is what came of it, to the surprise of no one. I see no thought put into this pile of trash, only a desperate attempt to hop on trends that would basically render the entire band jokes for the rest of their careers. Did you guys hear any 90s Steve Miller Band songs? I don't think so!

It's a shame, because while I never thought of the Steve Miller Band as spectacular, they were perfectly serviceable 70s rock for the most part. But the 80s came and hit them like a brick, and they ended up looking like the withered old dads they were at that point. Ain't nobody callin' you Maurice after this one, Steve. Abracadabra.

 

 

[Joe Biden]

oh boy watch the hate mail for that #1 coming in

 

In all honesty though, I don't really care much for that song. Definitely understand the hate for that song though.