Clappy vs Billboard Hot 100

[Ron]

Wait what the heck she's 16. Okay, that's impressive.

 

Regardless, I think "Royals" was lucky to make it into the Top 10. If this was still 2012 and acts like Gotye and fun. were reaching #1, then maybe. But I can see "Wrecking Ball" being the next #1 song after "Roar". It's gained some kind of cult following on tumblr.

 

Which reminds me, it's high time for another 5 Billboard songs.

 

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/5695590/miley-cyrus-wrecking-ball-swings-to-top-of-hot-100

 

I'll be damned, you were right.

[Clappy]

I'll be damned.  Wumbo was right.  You know what that means?  The charts can thank a bunch of horny bastards.

 

 

Miley Cyrus - "Wrecking Ball"

 

Spoiler

 

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEO CONTAINS INAPPROPRIATE USAGE OF SLEDGEHAMMERS AND WRECKING BALLS....OH AND SOMETHING CALLED A MILEY CYRUS.

 

Guys I am going to be honest.  This has been a bad year for pop music.  Not 2010 levels of bad, but it's getting high up there in my least favorite music years list.  The charts have been topped and filled by some pretty bad songs.  Sure there are some deserving songs that have topped the charts this year like "Just Give Me A Reason" and "Can't Hold Us", but my god there have been some incredibly undeserving songs like "Harlem Shake" and this has been the most pissed off I've been about a song topping the charts since this spring.  "Wrecking Ball" is clearly number one because of the provocative music video and that's it.  The song itself is ridiculously boring.  It does absolutely nothing lyric wise to stand out and the only thing I like about the song is the production of the synthesizer.  I am a sucker for synth-pop and it is used pretty well on here.  Otherwise, this is Miley being Miley.  She is pitchy, she is untalented, and she does stupid shit for shock value.

 

But hey, you guys want me to talk about the song itself and why shouldn't I?  It starts off soft and reminds me of some of the songs from 80s pop music.  That's the only part of the song I can tolerate because we start feeling for Miss Cyrus and her heartbreak over Liam Hemsworth/Gale Hawthorne....THEN WE HIT THE OVERPRODUCED AWFUL CHORUS.

 

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

 

I'm sorry that last part can't be right.  Redo.

 

All you ever did was wre-ec-ec-ck me
Yeah, you, you wre-ec-ec-ck me

 

That sounds more like the song.  But yeah the chorus literally describes my sentiments towards this song.  The chorus came in like a wrecking ball and wrecked the song.  It broke down my walls and all it did was wre-ec-ec-ck my chances of liking it again.  I can't even listen to the second bridge because I know the refrain is coming and I'll loathe it again.

 

But you know what, I know you guys want me to get to the music video so here are my thoughts in a nutshell.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxf5QwExt9Q

 

The video is so obnoxious that I can't help but laugh at it.  It makes the song just look less serious and more comedic.  And that's my current impression of Miley Cyrus.  She shouldn't be taken seriously.  She is just an awful awful awful singer who will hopefully fade into obscurity in the next three-five years.

 

Look I understand why this song hit number one.  Guys are horny bastards so of course they are going to keep watching naked Miley get all hot and dirty with construction equipment.  The video just misses the point of the song and that's why I hate it topping the charts.  I didn't even like the song to begin with, but now I hate it even more now that it backs up this formula:

 

 

PORN MUSIC VIDEO + MEDIOCRE SONG = #1 ON BILLBOARD HOT 100

 

It worked for Blurred Lines and now it's working for Wrecking Ball.  If this tops the charts for the same amount of time as Blurred Lines, I'll be even more disappointed in society. 

 

Overall, congratulations Miley Cyrus.  This is now the second worst song, in my opinion, of your career.

 

Rating: 1/5

[President Squidward]

 

 

 

I'm gonna update this tomorrow going down the Hot 100 list for the week.  Not all the reviews are going to be this long, but I will definitely bring my "A-game" for each one.  Now what's number two again?

 

 

 

Oh fug me.

I love Blurred Lines. *Everyone throws tomatos at me*

[Clappy]

I love Blurred Lines. *Everyone throws tomatos at me*

Not gonna throw tomatoes at you.  I liked the song at one point before overplay killed it for me.

[President Squidward]

Not gonna throw tomatoes at you.  I liked the song at one point before overplay killed it for me.

z90.3 San Diego played it all the time. And that's how I became obsessed with this song.

[Ron]

I think Wrecking Ball is an okay song by itself... it's incredibly generic, but it's not as annoying to me as Blurred Lines.

 

The video sucks, but I think she gets a lot of shit for no reason. Rihanna is only 25, meaning her first album was released when she was 18. Nobody gave her shit for being so young. It's just because everyone saw Miley when she was young that they're giving her so much shit, yet when Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Britney Spears (who also started out incredibly young and got no shit for sexualizing her music), Rihanna, Ke$ha, etc. do horny videos, they don't get nearly as much shit as Miley does. 

 

Not defending the song/video, I agree that they're mediocre, I just don't think she should get all the "WHAT HAPPENED TO MILEY SHE USED TO BE SO SWEET" shit that she does, because everyone grows up.

 

It's not like you're gonna stay "Sweet nibblets" forever.

[Clappy]

Not defending the song/video, I agree that they're mediocre, I just don't think she should get all the "WHAT HAPPENED TO MILEY SHE USED TO BE SO SWEET" shit that she does, because everyone grows up.

It's not like you're gonna stay "Sweet nibblets" forever.

Oh trust me. Her youth has nothing to do with how I feel about her. I know others think that but I am not one of them.

She has always been a mediocre singer. She will always be ridiculously ear splitting vocally. I know this sexed up persona is too try and act grown up. To me, her new persona reeks of desperation. It's like she is saying "Hey I'm not on Disney Channel anymore. Come do me!" It may have worked for Britney Spears, but this is not working for Miley.

To be honest, this whole new Miley is really pathetic. It does nothing for me but try to hide her limited vocal talents. It's not working because I can still tell that she can't sing.

That's why I think Wrecking Ball is the perfect example of new Miley in a nutshell. She tries to sex up her video being naked and sexually provoking construction tools. When in the end, it doesn't hide how bad of a singer she is. I mean if she wants to grow up, I don't blame her. Like you said Dylan, not everyone can be sweet niblets forever. But you can flaunt your sexuality in much better methods like all those other artists you previously mentioned. Miley is executing it the wrong way by being oversexed up if that makes any sense.

[Ron]

Oh trust me. Her youth has nothing to do with how I feel about her. I know others think that but I am not one of them.

She has always been a mediocre singer. She will always be ridiculously ear splitting vocally. I know this sexed up persona is too try and act grown up. To me, her new persona reeks of desperation. It's like she is saying "Hey I'm not on Disney Channel anymore. Come do me!" It may have worked for Britney Spears, but this is not working for Miley.

To be honest, this whole new Miley is really pathetic. It does nothing for me but try to hide her limited vocal talents. It's not working because I can still tell that she can't sing.

That's why I think Wrecking Ball is the perfect example of new Miley in a nutshell. She tries to sex up her video being naked and sexually provoking construction tools. When in the end, it doesn't hide how bad of a singer she is. I mean if she wants to grow up, I don't blame her. Like you said Dylan, not everyone can be sweet niblets forever. But you can flaunt your sexuality in much better methods like all those other artists you previously mentioned. Miley is executing it the wrong way by being oversexed up if that makes any sense.

 

I guess, but I think that if Miley was a brand new artist right now, with Bangerz being her first album, people would still be paying attention and probably hating on her, but there'd be no, "What a waste" comments, which she really doesn't deserve. 

[Clappy]

I guess, but I think that if Miley was a brand new artist right now, with Bangerz being her first album, people would still be paying attention and probably hating on her, but there'd be no, "What a waste" comments, which she really doesn't deserve.

I think people wouldn't react to We Can't Stop the way they did. Maybe if Wrecking Ball was her first single, I could see where you're coming from.

Lady Gaga - "Applause"

Spoiler

Man I sure have missed Lady Gaga. I'll be honest, she makes pop music so much more interesting. That's why I like her. Granted, I felt Born This Way was a rather underwhelming follow-up to her first album, but looking back, it was a nice throwback to 80s pop. Plus "Edge of Glory" is one of the more underappreciated singles of not only 2011, but her entire career. Now needless to say, I was pretty excited when she revealed the new name of her album was ARTPOP. I thought we were going to expect the literal artpop genre. But so far, the songs I've heard from the album have not been the genre. It's just artistic pop music. Nothing wrong with that though, but yet I'm jumping too far into things. Let's take a look at the lead single.

Now my first impression of this song.

I live for the applause, applause, applause

I live for the applause-plause

Live for the applause-plause

Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me

The applause, applause, applause

Wow Gaga is stroking her ego hard....BUT DAMN SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO. Nobody has made an immediate impact on the pop culture scene in the past decade as fast as Gaga did. She is still one of the biggest names in pop music today and she deserves all the praise she gets.....

But that doesn't mean this song has it's flaws. This still very narcissistic. Narcissistic enough to aim at her critics.

I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong

To crash the critic saying, "Is it right or is it wrong?"

I've overheard your theory "nostalgia's for geeks"

I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read

Not everyone does a good job at aiming for critics. But I just don't get why Gaga is aiming for the critics of her Born This Way critics? I mean no one cares. The album was still a success. Hell, the Born This Way album was still a well reviewed album and most of the compliments being of mine above for the 80s pop vibe. You could have aimed this song at far better targets like religious zealots, people bashing the gay community, trolls on the Internet who think you have a penis. These are all targets that deserve to feel your wrath for criticizing you far worse than music critics. Critics on the other hand are just doing their jobs. You don't get back at critics by attacking them. You do it by ignoring them and continuing to be awesome like you are Lady Gaga. Everyone needs criticism just to improve themselves. Everyone needs constructive critcisim. Hell, I welcome it. That's why I have a comment section.

Oh and a few minor pet peeves that I usually have with Gaga songs are here too:

One second I'm a Kunst, then suddenly the Kunst is me

Wait a minute, kunst is german for art. So that means:

Pop culture was in art, now art's in pop culture in me

Way to repeat yourself once again Lady Gaga. I don't like it when she changes lyrics around to another language to make it work. Btw, I get that Lady Gaga likes nonsense syllables, but applause-plause is still too goofy for me.

Oh and about the music video.

Gaga Swan gives me nightmares.

But really though, when you've watched one Gaga music video, you've seen them all. They just don't surprise me anymore.

All that being said. This is what a Lady Gaga song sounds like. I was hoping for something a bit more progressive from her first lead single from ARTPOP. I was hoping that Gaga would continue to progress as an artist. Still defying others expectations. However, that doesn't mean Applause is not a bad song. It's a pretty fun song that I definitely turn up and jam to at work. It is one of my favorite pop songs on the radio right now and it is making me that much more excited for her new album. Same ole Lady Gaga songs are still far better than most pop music on the radio these days.

Rating: 4/5

[kev]

I lol'd at the Gaga swan part of your review

[Wumbo]

I got a lot to say here, bro.
 
First off, I don't agree with your reasoning on why people are viewing either "Blurred Lines" or "Wrecking Ball" so frequently. I don't think it's "horny bastards", because neither video is really all that sexy in my opinion. No, both videos are garnering attention because they're both ridiculously stupid and controversial. "Blurred Lines" because of its degradation of women, and "Wrecking Ball" because Miley Cyrus is a trainwreck.
 

Guys I am going to be honest.  This has been a bad year for pop music.  Not 2010 levels of bad, but it's getting high up there in my least favorite music years list.  The charts have been topped and filled by some pretty bad songs.  Sure there are some deserving songs that have topped the charts this year like "Just Give Me A Reason" and "Can't Hold Us", but my god there have been some incredibly undeserving songs like "Harlem Shake" and this has been the most pissed off I've been about a song topping the charts since this spring.

 
On the contrary. 2012 was the worst year in pop music for me (though you've opened my eyes to how wretched 2010 was as well), and 2013 is, so far, a significant step up for me. Some questionable songs reached the very top this year, but maybe it will teach people to stop watching stupid videos. The rest of the charts have been quite good, with a gay anthem nearly cracking the Top 10, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Eminem making fierce comebacks, and EDM of course.
 
As for your thoughts on "Wrecking Ball", the song, I have to say that for a singer whose range is from mediocre to terrible, I think Cyrus actually did pretty well here vocally, at least for her.
 
The video does miss the point badly and it's one awful video as a result. But as far as the song goes, respective to Cyrus's career, she's had much, much worse. Heck, this is one of her best songs IMO, even though I would say it's just okay.
 
On to "Applause":
 

Wow Gaga is stroking her ego hard....

Eh... I hate to be pedantic here Clappy, but I don't think "ego-stroking" really fits these lyrics. At least the way I look at it. I look at the chorus more as a cry of desperation and need for fame. But I can kind of see your point too.
 
You did make some good points about the critic-bashing that I didn't touch upon. But I don't think bashing the trolls who say she has a penis on the Internet would have been a good choice, either. Seems almost as petty to me.
 
As for the video, I think it's one of Gaga's best. Something about it just really clicks for me that other videos have failed to do.

 

Finally:
 

I was hoping for something a bit more progressive from her first lead single from ARTPOP. I was hoping that Gaga would continue to progress as an artist.

 

And honestly, this is what worries me a little about Gaga. Has she peaked in terms of shock value and progression? She appears to be taking a middle ground between her older stuff and her newer stuff, and while I love it, there is still the question of "is Lady Gaga relevant anymore?" I don't know if she has anything new left in her. I certainly hope she does (I think there's a song dedicated to transsexuals on her new album?), but you never know.

 

Great, insightful reviews Claps. Keep it up, and I'll keep reading.

[Ron]

One second I'm a Kunst, then suddenly the Kunst is me

 

It's not Kunst, it's "koons" and it's the last name of someone she works with that has inspired her. She confirmed this on Twitter, btw, cuz I'm sure some lyric sites have it wrong.

[Clappy]

It's not Kunst, it's "koons" and it's the last name of someone she works with that has inspired her. She confirmed this on Twitter, btw, cuz I'm sure some lyric sites have it wrong.

If only I followed her on Twitter, but yeah that would make more sense because it sounds like she is saying "Kunst" which my dad was the one who told me it's German for art.

 

Oh and Wumbo, I don't really think 2012 was all that bad.  It was just the year you started to look at music more insightfully, which is why you probably hate that year so much with all that rap music.

 

 

Anyway, on weeks where the charts don't have much change in the Top 10, I'm going to take a page from the Todd in the Shadows playbook and look at past Billboard Top 100 charts and list my Top 10 Best/Worst Songs of that year.

 

So depending on what kind of mood I'm in, I'm going to either be doing Top 10 Best/Worst Hit Songs of 2006 (the year I started to listen to pop radio at work and become more insightful about America's Top 40) or review Drake's new song that I am having a hard time giving my insights on.

[Jellatine]

I still think Wrecking Ball is OKAY. Doesn't mean I like it, but I don't actually hate it (ignoring the video, which I despise) The thing with Miley is that she doesn't know how to be sexy. She's just 20 but in the pop industry, women are sexualized at a young age, but she could have been a thousand times more classy with her approach in her last 2 videos, and trust me, it'll get worse and worse.

 

As for Applause, I love this song, to me it means she does it all for her fans and to please them, and receiving their applause is the way to know she's doing good, I don't see it that much as ego-stroking. As for the critics line, idk if she's referring specifically to music critics, cuz after all, everybody is a critic, and Gaga gets more shit for her outfits and appearance than for her music, and tbh I just think she's misunderstood. 

 

Oh and btw, I blame you for getting me into that Royals song, it gets stuck in my head all the time now ;P

[Clappy]

So yeah, I've talked myself up into doing this Top 10 Best/Worst list of 2006.  So why else did I choose 2006?  Well let's just say that that was the year I felt like pop music was actually starting to turn into...pop music again.  The charts were heavily dominated in the mid 2000s by Hip-Hop and R&B and most of that music crossovered into pop music more often than you think.  Sure pop artists were still around, but we didn't get that many huge hits by them.  This was the year I felt like pop music started to feel like actual pop again.  Sure there were still heavy inputs of the same ole stuff that dominated the charts in the mid-2000s, but instead of being considered fun, most of that music was starting to turn sour fast, which is why you'll be seeing a lot of Hip-Hop/R&B on my Top 10 worst list from that year.  So without further ado, I bring to you:

 

 

CLAPPY'S TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 2006

 

 

Before I start this list off, I want to make this perfectly clear.  There is no bigger one hit wonder than Daniel Powter.

 

 

10. "Bad Day" - Daniel Powter

 

Spoiler

 

This topped Billboard in 2006 as the number one hit of that year and I ask this.  Why?  I blame American Idol.  Yeah guys, American Idol was actually a force to be reckoned with back in 2006.  It's not the revolving judge chair laughing stock it has become now.  This was back when American Idol actually averaged 35 million viewers weekly.  My how tv standards have faltered now since the highest viewed show of the week usually gets 18 million viewers.  But yeah, back to the music.  This was the song that played when someone got sent home and was forced to watch that humiliating montage of how they just lost what they once had.  And of course since this song crossed over into adult contemporary music, "Bad Day" stuck around the Billboard charts that whole year.  However, I never liked this song.  Not on American Idol.  Not on Q94 (my local pop station).  Nowhere.  I thought this song was ridiculously dull and boring and like I said on my Top 50 worst songs ever list, no music is as bad as boringly bad pop music.  Daniel Powter's vocal range is incredibly limited and it shows heavily as he poorly tries to hit the high notes in this song.  I hated all the adult contempary songs from that years like honorable mentions John Mayer and James Blunt, but at least those two had some sort of personality.  Daniel Powter vanished from the music industry for a good reason.  He was as boring and dull as his music.  Good riddance Daniel Powter.

 

 

9. Chingy (featuring Tyrese) - "Pullin' Me Back"

 

Spoiler

 

Oh god, if there is any artist I wish to forget that made it big from the mid 2000's, Chingy is one of them.  He made it big with embarrassingly bad music from those years.  I still can't look at Holiday Inns the same way ever again.  Chingy is one of the artists from this decade that I loathed heavily.  He is awful awful awful with his lazy lyrics, changing words around like here to hurr, and relying on somewhat decent productions to make his songs popular.  But you know how to make Chingy songs even worse?  Have Chingy sing love songs.  God, he is one of the most insincere bastards I have ever heard and "Pullin' Me Back" was huge in 2006.

 

We didn't have a worry in the world, got you diamonds got you pearls
But I can't help it if Ching-A-Ling been attracting all the girls

Baby I'm a superstar and that come with it

 

Sorry bland love interest, but *snickers* Ching-A-Ling is still allowed to look at other girls even though you two are exclusive because he's a "superstar".

 

Walk in the house from hard work, my head hurts,
Instead of arguing, can I have dinner with some dessert (uh uh)?
She's talking 'bout this phone number she found,
Hey, give me time to put my bags down

She's straight up, clowned
Before we end up fighting, let me leave,
I'm exhausted and this hurr, I don't need

 

 

Hey Chingy you dumbass.  Sorry that your head hurts, but she found out you CHEATED on her.  Of course she is going to be pissed off at you.  Go ahead and leave because you are two timing asshole.  You aren't Jason DeRulo oblivious, but you are getting there.

 

The only thing that gets this song away with being this low on my worst list is that listening to this once again reminds me how good of a R&B artist Tyrese is.  He has a really good voice and dare I say it, he kinda saves this song somewhat.  I know Tyrese is more of an actor now, but I wouldn't mind seeing him return to the music industry again.  But my hatred of Chingy warrants him a spot on here and makes me wonder why I don't have a single Chingy song on my 50 worst list of all time.

 

 

8. "Grillz" - Nelly (featuring Paul Wall, Ali, Grip)

 

Spoiler

 

Speaking of artists who made it huge in the early 2000s, hi there Nelly.  However, unlike Chingy, Nelly was actually pretty damn good.  I always considered Chingy to be a poor man's Nelly because Nelly was pretty much untouchable back then producing massive hit after massive hit.  But 2006 was not a kind year to Nelly.  This was the year when Nelly started to falter creatively.  You wonder what Nelly's last hit was before he struggled to get another one for another four-five years?  This was his last huge hit for quite some time and it's honestly one of Nelly's worst songs ever.  I mean he wrote a song about shiny metallic teeth.  Grillz in general was an incredibly stupid fad that I'm glad has disappeared...I hope.  And this.  This was the anthem for that horrendously bad fad.  This makes that whole YOLO fad look like gold.  Grillz were just painfully annoying.  Hell, I saw people in my high school starting to wear grillz regardless of race.

 

Now as for the song itself?  Just incredibly stupid.  The production is ridiculously lazy, especially compared to Nelly's hits from the past few years before this.  Oh and thanks Nelly.  I almost forgot you were the one who made Paul Wall a thing for awhile.  Paul Wall is astonishingly bad here and everything after this and I'm glad that none of his songs ever became hits.  As for Ali and Gipp.  I can't tell which is which, nor do I really care.  Grillz was to Nelly as Just Lose It was to Eminem.  Except not nearly as bad as Just Lose It obviously.

 

 

7. "It's Goin' Down" - Yung Joc (featuring Nitti)

 

Spoiler

 

I'm going to keep this plain and simple.  Good riddance Yung Joc.  You are one of the blandest rappers I've ever heard and this song makes absolutely no sense.

 

WHERE IS IT GOING DOWN?  YOU SAY SO MANY PLACES THAT I CAN'T TELL WHERE IT'S GOING DOWN!  PLUS WHAT KIND OF GOING DOWN?  I CAN'T EVEN TELL IF THIS SONG IS ABOUT FIGHTING, SEX, OR PARTYING.  THE LYRICS DON'T HELP MAKE THIS SONG ANY CLEARER.

 

All I want is clarity and this song.  It has none.

 

 

 

 

Now before I talk about number six, I want to make this perfectly clear.  I don't mind artists trying to be sexually provocative.  One of my biggest guilty pleasure songs is "Rude Boy" by Rihanna and I hate Rihanna.  But damn does Rihanna do a good job sexually flaunting with this song.  This is what Miley Cyrus is failing to do with her two songs from 2013.  She is being oversexualized and has no idea what sexy is.

 

Let's rewind back to 2006.  Who was the sexually provocative music group of this time frame?  The Pussycat Dolls.

 

Spoiler

 

Oh dear god yes.  They can push my buttons any time.  Don't ya wish your girlfriend was hot like me indeed....ok need to stop drooling.  In 2006, we started to see Pussycat Doll imitators arrive on the music industry.  We had girl groups flooding everywhere trying to be the next Pussycat Dolls.  Some of them worked with one hit wonders like Cherish, but more often others faltered like Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Diddy projects like these ladies:

 

 

6. Danity Kane - "Show Stopper"

 

Spoiler

 

*yawns*

 

Sorry girls, this is doing nothing for me.  Yes you five are hot.  Hell I think one of you is dancing slutty purposely hoping for a nip slip in that dress just to make this video more interesting.  But you couldn't have made this song any more boring.  You can talk about cars, you can talk about how guys are checking you out, you can do all this, but does that make you any more interesting?

 

 

My thoughts exactly Dean Ambrose.  Oh and btw, having Yung Joc do a guest spot doesn't help make this song any better.  As a matter of fact, Yung Joc referencing Ben Stiller makes this song even worse.

 

 

 

Gonna get off my laptop for a bit, but #5-1 are coming up in the next hour or two. 

[SG19]

Bad Day does not deserve to be on this list IMO.

[Clappy]

Bad Day does not deserve to be on this list IMO.

Well I never liked Bad Day.  Always hated that song, but I understand why so many people love it.

[Clappy]

Now that I've had time to get some food in my system, time to continue my countdown of bad pop music from my late junior/early senior year of high school.  And what better way to dive back in by reminding myself that Fergie had a short lived solo career without the Peas.

 

 

5. "London Bridge" - Fergie

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler alert fellas:

 

 

And no, it's not the sexualizing of one of the world's famous bridges that makes this song horrible.  It's the production team.  God I can't stand this beat.  The lyrics are already bad, but the production just makes this song even worse.  It's all over the place.  What's even more embarrassing is that the two producers behind this are two of the so called "best producers" in Polow da Don and fellow Pea will.i.am.  It sounds like those two were going at each other in terms of who can out crap the other in my opinion.  Plus Fergie doesn't make herself sound any better by blatantly making it try too hard to be Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl".  That's what I hear Fergie trying to be.  Gwen Stefani.  I mean why shouldn't she?  Gwen Stefani spun off from No Doubt like Fergie is trying to do with The Black Eyed Peas.  Isn't it also ironic that both songs are about clubbing and trying to get sleazy?  At least Gwen Stefani says she is no hollaback girl.  Meanwhile, Fergie's pants go down every time any hot guy comes around.  For god's sake Fergie, at least your other four singles from The Duchess weren't this bad.

 

 

4. "Savin' Me" - Nickelback

 

Spoiler

 

You can't have a worst songs of any year from this decade without having one Nickeblack song.  Man oh man, how much more riffing material do I need to write about Nickelback?  They are one of my least favorite groups of all time and they keep coming out with the most generic crap that fools consumers into downloading their shit.  Sure this can be said about any post-grunge band from the 2000s, but god, Nickelback releases nearly every song from each album and it just constantly sounds like the same crap.  I sure haven't forgotten this generic piece of crap.  I really hate when Chad Kroeger tries to get all sentimental.  Because that's when he is at his crappiest.  He oversells and it just becomes very nauseating.  Oh and it gets much worse.  The music video.  It misses the point by a mile.  I can't watch this video because it makes Savin' Me into a futuristic action thriller about trying to save people from how little time they have left on Earth.  God, they couldn't have gotten this song any more crappier than they made this video.  Ugh, one of my least favorite videos from this year and it more than warrants it's high spot of my worst of this year list.

 

 

3. "Ms. New Booty" - Bubba Sparxxx (featuring The Ying Yang Twins)

 

Spoiler

 

Honestly, this should be the worst song of 2006 for me.  But I can't justify me entirely hating this.  Part of me thinks this is so bad that it's good.  However, every time I think that, that stupid BOOTY chant brings me back down to reality.  This is absolute crap.  But yeah I hope Bubba Sparxxx loves being relevant for just this song because not only did this kill your career, but it killed those guys who did that Whisper song too.  I'm glad we've never heard from any of the people that were involved with this ever again.  

 

2. "Chain Hang Low" - Jibbs

 

Spoiler

 

Heh, hey Wumbo.  Remember when I made you review this one?  Yeah you can't get much worse than making a rap revolve around an annoying child's nursery rhyme.  Btw is that the Kidz Bop kids singing the chorus?  Because this Jibbs fella couldn't have found anymore annoying kids singing that chorus.  So yeah, writing a rap about your chains around your neck?  Yeah, I think rap is running out of material.  No wonder people think hip-hop is dead.  And if this wasn't any justification that rap music is dead:

 

 

1. "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It" - Dem Franchize Boyz

 

Spoiler

 

Then this is.  HEY GUYS, LET'S MAKE AN ENTIRE SONG BASED OFF OF LEANING TO THE SIDE AND SNAPPING YOUR FINGERS!  You know, if I allowed dance rap music on my Top 50 Worst Songs of All Time list, then this song would have at least made my Top 20.  This is a massive slap to my face every time I try to defend rap music for not being as bad as people say it is.  If Kesha's "Blah Blah Blah" is what people who don't listen to pop music think pop music sounds like, then "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It" is probably what outsiders of rap music think rap music sounds like.  This is absolutely atrocious.  I fucking hate this song so much.  Go fuck yourself Dem Franchize Boyz.

[Sweat]

Why do rap groups always have to have a 'z' at the end of their names?

[Wumbo]

Man... I just don't get Nickelback hate. Beyond Chad Kroeger's tolerate-it-or-loathe-it voice, they're not that bad of a group IMO.