So Sejima Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 i hope you're joking since when did he ever joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 fuck you guys, this show is amazing. I'd say "You're just saying that to mess with us", but I know that's what you want me to say. And now you got the wish that I thought you wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 happy month and a day anniversary of torturing yourself by doing this 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 SOF's Exciting Critic Corner 1. SBC Parallel Universe 2. Eelz 3. Underwater Survivor: SBC Style 4. Robot Trout 5. SBCinema 6. Spin-Off Action: Reboot 7. SBC Therapy 8. SBC Mafia Spoiler [Jjs: Welcome back, agents ClassicNickelodeonFan1 and CDCB. You may have survived the first mission, but the next one might be even worse....or maybe not. Truth be told, I don't even remember this one that well out of the four TV's Terribly Terrible Sunday episodes. I guess this one will be like a game of Russian Roulette - it could end up being worse than the last, or surprisingly okay. Now I'm worried.] [CDCB: Hi, Worried!] [CNF: *bang*]SOF: Hello everyone, it’s time for another ep of SECC as a part of TTT Sunday! [Jjs: And it's time for us Riffing Agents to point out all the lulzy flaws in it...if there are any. Like I said, this was probably the most forgettable of the four from my original reading, so that isn't a good sign right off the bat.] [CNF: I'm going in men. Launch the Riffing Theater!] [Mermaid Man: To the riffing theater… away! CDCB: …get off of my account, you old coot!] Now what’s next up on the bad menu? *laughing* [Jjs: What else is on the Bad Menu? *laughing* Bad Boy Fries and Evil Mastermind Milkshakes?] [CNF: No jjs, it's SOF with a side of Summarizing Corner.] [CDCB: Oooh! Can I get mine with extra mayo?] It’s..SBC Mafia! [Jjs: ] [CNF: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO] [CDCB: Yay! Mafia Mayo!]SOF *narrates*: There’s some unfunny jokes and it has way too much drama scenes that have nothing to do with the main plot. [Jjs: Whoa whoa, slow down there Jethro. You haven't even told us what it is about and you're already jumping into nonsensical criticisms.] [CNF: Can't be much worse than Bikini Top, am I right?] [CDCB: You are right, Mr. Fettuccini!] It only lasted for 3 eps. [Jjs: No, I want it to last for 100+ episodes.] [CNF: Typical Dylan.] [CDCB: You still didn’t explain what it’s about.] Could it be as bad as SBC Therapy or even worse? [Jjs: Funny, the three of us are wondering the same thing about this review.] [CNF: I know one thing for sure, it'll be better than this!] [CDCB: It must be hideous to have only lasted 3 episodes. That’s all we need to know.] Let’s see.. [Jjs: ] [CNF: All I C is a Cookie, that's good enough for me!] [CDCB: Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!]SOF *narrates*: We see there’s an intruder in this unknown place where a spammer breaks out. [Jjs *narrates*: So..is the spammer the intruder or someone else? I can see details aren't your forte.] [CNF: Um...I don't understand sir.] [CDCB: Neither do I. The lad is jumping into a show that he hasn’t even summarized yet.]*cue scene* “Who's this?" demanded 70s coarsely. [Jjs: Yo momma.] [CDCB: Who… R… U?] [CNF: It's Bikini Top: Zombie Edition]"Cardiefan7, sir," one guard spat. "He's on sbc's Top 200 List for spamming up a topic down in Video Game Plaza." [Jjs: How diabolical! This guy might have just outranked SOF in evilness.] [CNF: Oh my god, that's horrible!] [CDCB: What a tragedy!]70s grunted and gestured towards a hole in the corner with a sign above it marked, "BANNED." A glass container sat next to it where dozens of people sat. A sign above the plexiglass read, "SUSPENDED." SOF: What? Are you fucking kidding me? [CDCB: Right back at ya, my confused compadre.] [Jjs: What the hell riled up SOF now? We've barely started and he's already pissed.] [CNF: What the fuck could he be pissed about this time?] How can you be a police officer and not kill them? [Jjs: Lolwut? When was it EVER mentioned in that scene there was a police officer? Plus, cops don't always kill people right off the bat. If you are referring to 70s as the cop, okay, I can understand that. But who is "them"? Nobody is doing anything wrong in that scene...are you sure you're reviewing the right show?] [CNF: Whoa whoa whoa kid slow down. Police officers don't kill people sonny.] [Cop: Stick ‘em up! We got you surrounded! Murderer: Aw nuts. What are you gonna do? Cop: Meh, I guess I’ll shoot you.] You are messed up dude. [CDCB: So are you, but we love you anyway.] [Jjs: He's a messed up dude because he didn't do anything at all.] [CNF: He's messed up because he didn't kill someone? Seems legit.]SOF *narrates*: We come to this scene as they were muttering with them. [Jjs: Who is "they" and who is "them"? Are their names not even much of a bother for SOF? This is so vague I might have to introduce a new police squad...THE VAGUENESS POLICE!] [CNF: Who's on first?] [CDCB: I believe we go on before them at that time.] This next scene is very suspicious.. [Jjs: It must be, because we don't even know who you are talking about.] [CNF: So suspicious that we don't even know what it is! IT MUST BE HORRIBLE.] [CDCB: Patience, people. I have a feeling he’s going to cue it…]*cue scene* [CDCB: Told ya.]You LOST him?" 70s cried when Ex and Jelly reported back. "How could you've LOST him!?" [Jjs: SOF's summary has LOST me.] [CDCB: Ditto.] [CNF: Simple, they were day-dreaming about giving love to each other.]"We're sorry," Jelly said. [CDCB: I’m not.] Ex leaned on 70s's throne and took a smoke. [Jjs: "70s mah king, wanna smoke a jon with me?"] [CNF: 70s is a king now?] [CDCB: All hail His Majesty and the 7 D’s!]"Don't worry," puffed Ex. "We got a report from a GFX at the Trash who said LC31 was spotted around that area. We'll get im tomorrow." "What if there's NO tomorrow, Ex? I told you, you need to get him. You DIDN'T get him. He's going to keep hacking, and soon enough he's going to start deleting accounts. STOP HIM." 70s got up and stormed out of the room. [Jjs: This evil mastermind they are going on about must be SOF, except replace "hacking" with summarizing.] [CNF: I'm actually liking this so far. Screw Past SOF.] [CDCB: Agreed. This episode should be a part of TV’s Fun and Fabulous Friday.]~~~ SpongeSebastian walked briskly down the hallway of the Off Topic Lounge, on the 43rd Page. He pulled out his iPM, the latest cell phone released into the Community. He dialed briskly and put it up to his ear. "Hi," he said and looked nervously behind him. [CDCB: Ehh, what’s up doc?] He listened and then entered into another post, which happened to belong to himself. "No, no, I told you, you're safe where you are." SpongeSeb sat down in his desk and then listened for a little while longer before saying, "No, stay in the trash. It's been made Breaking News, and you don't need that publicity. Bring the whole group back together again, okay? I'll keep tabs with 70s. I'm your inside man, Cutler, and I won't disappoint, I promise." SOF: Wait what?....I don’t get it…so 70s is king?! [CNF: Little late there pal.] [Jjs: Obviously SOF is running out of nitpicks, so he's just plopping it in at random. Also, who cares if he is a king? It's just fan-fiction. What, did you want to be king instead of him? Don't worry, you can still be the Mississippi Queen.] WHAT THE HELL? [CDCB: Stop naming Avril Lavigne songs.] [Jjs: It's okay SOF. I know you are pissed 70s was chosen as king over you, but that's what happens when you impersonate the Nostalgia Critic as a summarizer.] [CNF: Exactly what I'd say if I were reading a summarizing corner...oh wait I am.] I CAN’T DESCRIBE THIS SCENE IT! [Jjs: The scene is named "It"? Okay, then It wasn't that bad of a scene for your so-called critiques.] [CNF: I LIKED "IT" SCREW YOU PAST SOF!] [CDCB: You can’t name It! Once you start naming It you start getting attached to It. Now I want you to put that thing back where It came from, or so help me…] IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A CASTLE MOVIE! [Jjs: How so? Is this a repeat of the SBCPU setting thing? Seriously SOF, you can't know what it looks like. And what, is "mafia" a new slang for "knights" in your world?] *cue scene* [Jjs: Is it just me, or has 99% of this review been pasting scenes again?] [CNF: The scenes seem longer this time around.]"It has?" she said sarcastically. SBC had gotten drastically larger in the previous years, to the point where they'd had to get thousands of servers to support the site. It was a stress on the small staff of six excluding 70s, who didn't do much but rule on this throne and order gin and wine. SOF *narrates*: Wait? Thousands of site servers? Um, we have been moved 4 times, you bastard! [CDCB: SOF insulted the king! Off with his head!] [Jjs *narrates*: He's not referring to SBC's host sites, you bastard! SOF, actually try to nitpick, not be a douche for the lulz.] [CNF:...why would you think it was host sites. Sigh.] So we cut to the next scene where it was announced 70s is dead. [CDCB: The king’s aim was never very accurate…] [Jjs: Okay then, RIP. Apparently his death wasn't important enough to be pasted.] [CNF: RIP 70s. You weren't good enough to be pasted, so have a good afterlife!] They decide to do something about it until…. [Jjs: Until what? Did the Nostalgia Critic appear and demand for this to stop?] [CNF: Who's they again? SOF...]*cue scene* [Jjs: Fuck me.] [CNF: No jjs, you're not a woman, so I cannot.] "What happened!?" Ex screamed, and Jelly began to weep. [Jjs: Unfortunately, SOF decided to drag on the pasted scenes again.] [CDCB: No wonder Jelly is weeping.]A header suddenly appeared at the top of the forum. It read: "USERS OF SBC COWER IN FEAR I HAVE AN INSIDE MAN CUTLER" "Notice Cutler has a strong resemblance to Hitler," Ex muttered. [Jjs: I'm sure he is no more of an evil mastermind than the diabolical Critic SOF.] [CNF: HEIL CUTLER!] [CDCB: Right in Der Cutler’s Face!]A new line appeared on the header. "I'D WATCH YOUR MOUTH I CAN HEAR YOU AND SEE YOU AND I CAN ERASE YOU ANY TIME I'D LIKE OR KILL YOU JUST LIKE I DID WITH YOUR LITTLE LEADER” [Jjs: This guy's good, he'd probably make for a more interesting critic than SOF.] [CNF: There's a badass in the house folks!]SOF *narrates*: So he wanted to murder them? [Jjs: No, he wants to play Monopoly with them.] [CNF: Nah SOF, he wanted to have an orgy with them] [CDCB: Orgy Party!] Um that kinda doesn’t make sense…where’s the story? [Jjs: Where's the story in this summary?][CDCB: Where’s the sense in this summary?] [CNF: It makes perfect sense *laughs* *chuckles* *dies*] I mean they didn’t tell the story before this but it is still hard to follow. [Jjs: This summary is still hard to follow.] [CNF: Yes SOF, because every thing you read has to be 100 words or less.] Moving on. [Jjs: No, let's move off, because I might die of boredom from this confusing and boring summary.] [CNF: Please dear lord let it end. Stop torturing me!] *cue scene* [CDCB: How about we cue my fist?!] [Jjs: Oh SOF, why must you keep making me take my lines back?] [CNF: ...Lord you have failed me. *weeps in a corner*]Cutler leaned in his chair. He'd just selected a fancy new avatar and rank bar from hilaryfan80's graphics shop. It was ridiculous expensive at a whopping 8000d, but it'd be worth it. He was now waiting for the crucial call from SpongeSebastian, but the damned mod was taking forever. Was it seriously that hard to get good help these days in the Community? Honestly... SOF: So um, Cutler wanted to buy it in hilaryfan80’s shop…meh, plot and details. [Jjs: For God's sake SOF, now you're just putting down anything. Actually get to the material before the three of us die from boredom.] [CNF: ...WHAT? HOW IS THAT A NITPICK! THAT...DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! And it's okay jjs, I already died.]*cue scene* "Alright, Seb, I need you to make sure nobody takes the MA throne until I gather up the mafia." [CDCB: That’s right. Stay away from my Ma’s throne!]SOF *narrates*: Don’t you mean Community? [Jjs: No SOF, he does not mean the name of a television show.] [CNF: No not really SOF. MA is Main Admin and that's what they took over so...unless you mean community instead of mafia, which would be just stupid.] This has nothing to do with SBC itself...that’s just painful. [Jjs: >Title is "SBC Mafia" >Involves SBC users >"Has nothing to do with SBC" Everything I know is a lie.] [CNF: Seems legit.] Anyways, the gang had to do something. [Jjs: Zzz....boring summaries. Vagueness Police can handle it from here...oh fuck it, I give up. Having sex would be a better past time than this, if I could find a girl. It's just constantly pasting scenes and making idiotic comments. You were right SOF, this IS worse than SBC Therapy. Mainly because you are boring us to death.] [CNF: What did they have to do? Will we ever know? Nope, because apparently it's not important enough! jjs, can I join in your orgy when you find a gal?]*cue scene*"So, what do you suppose we should do?" the queen asked. "Because I really have no idea where to start." [Jjs: Neither did SOF with this summary.]"Well, I was--" Sara's cup exploded in a flurry of hot icons and she slumped over. [CNF: Sara: Calvin, the baby is coming!]"SHE'S BLEEDING! EX, TVGUY, SHE'S---" Ex had thrown himself over Sara as soon as it had happened. tvguy, shocked, stood up and pulled out an iPM. Dialing frantically, he called HQ. "Alright, we need backup out here. The queen's been shot. Yeah, we have no clue. I don't fucking care, just get somebody out here!" He hung up and kneeled down and applied pressure to Sara's wounds with a tatter of his avvie. SOF *narrates*: Now wait a minute? How did the cup just explode and kill her? [Jjs: The assassin shot through the cup to kill the queen, causing the cup to explode. Maybe if you had bothered pasting more, or actually have gone into depth with this summary, you'd know it.] [CNF: Sigh. SOF, when will you learn.] That doesn’t sound realistic at all, and watch.. [CDCB: Gross, you can’t do that! This is a family network!] [Jjs: *watches and observes*]*SOF drops a cup of tea on the floor and it shatters* [Jjs: Nice going SOF, you just wasted a perfectly good cup of tea. There's kids in Africa who could have wanted to drink that.] [CNF: WHY SOF WHY! THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!]SOF: See? THAT’s not an exploding cup. [Jjs: An exploding cup? Shh SOF, you're going to give Michael Bay ideas.] [CNF: Whoa whoa this isn't my Batman cup!]*cue scene* [Jjs: We're almost done...hopefully I don't fall asleep...] [CNF: It's ok jjs, just take a nice, long nap.] [CDCB: Nappy time! Zzzzzzz…]"Was it you?" SpongeSebastian spoke smoothly into his iPM. "What was what me?" Cutler replied. "You know what I'm talking about." "No, I honestly don't!" smirked Cutler. [Jjs: Neither did SOF with this summary.] "The death! You killed Sara, didn't you?" "My finger slipped on the trigger, I swear!" "I thought you promised you wouldn't touch her." "Did I?" "Yes, you did, Cutler!" "Stop repeating my name, it's weird." [Jjs: Okay, Cutler. Is this annoying you yet, Cutler? Don't worry, we're trying to entertain ourselves to get out of the Summarizing Critic's snoozefest, Cutler. I'll stop now, Cutler.] "UGGH!" SpongeSeb hung up and rested his hands in his arms. [Jjs: FINALLY! Seriously, this has to be the worst of SOF's pasting sprees so far. It's just paste this, give a lousy nitpick that.]SOF *narrates*: So Cutler confronted Seb. [Jjs: That's all you can say for the end, shows how much you yourself were into it.] [CDCB: Breaking News – There has been a massive outbreak of murders in the country of Canada. Reports are being made of hooded men stealing peoples’ yaks and riding them into town full armed with the deadliest weaponry known to mankind. Local witnesses said they had never seen anything like this before their heads were promptly blown off. SOF: *narrates* Angry yak men go boom.] [CNF: One word. BORRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!] Ok, I admit it didn't end up like the previous two but why hasn’t there been a new episode? [Jjs: You're right, it didn't end up like the previous two. Mainly because this one was a giant snoozefest filled with constant recapping and lousy nitpicks. At least you tried to nitpick in the past two, as lulzy and flawed as they were. Also, it hasn't had a new episode because it was a one shot lit by tvguy. Or he was scared off by this "review" of it to post anymore.] Oh forget it, it’s over. [Jjs: ] [CNF: PRAISE THE LORD!] [CDCB: Hallelujah!] This lit is just unfunny [Jjs: Maybe it's not meant to be a comedy at all?] [CNF: Not everything's funny SOF...except TBS.] and it is kind of complex. [CDCB: Which is more than I can say for your bland summarizing corner.] [Jjs: We know you love your plots short and simple SOF. Actually, I need to nitpick this, because there's some more SOF Bias in it. He loves Storm Racers, which can be very complex truth be told, but he never nitpicks that for how complex it is. I think it's finally time for a BIAS POLICE!] There are some unneeded drama scenes [Jjs: What drama scenes? Were they too unneeded you couldn't even paste them?] [CNF: I saw no drama. You must be talking about Bikini Top, THAT I would agree with you on!] and the dialogue is okay I guess, [Jjs: You said the lit was unfunny, so how can the dialogue be okay?] [CDCB: CONTRADICTION POLICE!] but why would SBCers be in a mafia? [Jjs: Why are SBCers in a Parallel Universe? Why are SBCers in therapy? Why are SBCers competing in Underwater Survivor? Why are SBCers at war with each other in S(lums)BU? It's just an average SBC show plot, pal.] [CNF: Creativity is key my son.]SOF: Well, there’s 1 more... JUST 1 more left. [Jjs: Thank the lords.] [CNF: Glad I can take a break after this one.] [CDCB: Good riddance.] It’s so bad that it is completely a mindfuck. [Jjs: I wonder what this show could be. It obviously must be so horrifying if SOF found it to be a mindfuck.] [CNF: *coughDownUndercough* Sorry my cough is HORRIBLE today.] So tune in for last ep of TTT Sunday. I’m SOF, signing off. [Jjs: We'll be waiting. Honestly, this one almost put me to sleep. Paste this, paste that, and make a lame joke in-between. That was the summary in a nutshell. Whether or not if this is the worst of the four remains to be seen, because it's honestly a tough pick, but we'll see in the next one. While this one wasn't as hostile as the SBC Therapy review, there was still some unneeded tvguy bashing. Also, SBC Mafia itself wasn't even that bad. Sure, it was a typical one shot lit by Dylan, but did it really deserve to be in SOF's block? I could tell SOF was grasping the straws just to have another. Thank you for the aid again agents, just one more of this block left...] [CNF: Thank god I've survived yet another mission. I wish you luck jjs in the last mission, hopefully you and your guests may survive the next terror. I kinda feel like reading SBC Mafia after the pasted scenes, but not because of this terrible review. Welp, time for a break for me. Adios and see you all in therapy!] [CDCB: Nooooo! Take me with you CNF! *CNF shuts door* Dangit. Well, there’s nothing else to be said really, except I’m looking forward to this “Terribly Terrible Sunday.” Funny thing, Down Under used to by my favorite Spin-Off on SBC. Haven’t read it in ages… this’ll be good…or bad… or neutral. I don’t know! We’ll just have to find out…] [Jjs: Oh and before I conclude, here's Nostalgia Critic again with the Boring Song to sum up this episode: ] 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 I am so glad I dropped out and decided to take on the next one here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Holy shoot, past SOF's commentary was extra nonsensical here. No wonder this is the "forgotten episode" of the block. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragiiin123 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 sof, was SBC Mafia really that mindblowing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 (edited) SOF's Exciting Critic Corner 1. SBC Parallel Universe 2. Eelz 3. Underwater Survivor: SBC Style 4. Robot Trout 5. SBCinema 6. Spin-Off Action: Reboot 7. SBC Therapy 8. SBC Mafia 9. Down Under 9. Down Under [Jjs: Welcome agents Wumbology, CDCB, and Steel Sponge. The final episode of SOF's Tvguy Roast-I mean, TV's Terribly Terrible Sunday is here. This may be a deadly mission...so it is not too late to turn back...or maybe it is.] [steel: Yes, I am back. and I am ready for this "deadly mission."] [Wumbo: Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?] [used Napkin: As unfortunate as I am to be shedding my insight upon this bile known as SOF’s Exciting Critic Corner, I shall proceed in a futile attempt to enjoy it.]SOF: Hello, TTT Sunday is almost over everyone! [Jjs: Oh thank goodness. I wonder if this review will be better than the last three, but considering the streak of the past three and my memory of this one, I doubt it.] [steel: Good. But don't bore me to death again.] [Wumbo: Hello, TTT Sunday! I'm sure newcomers to this series won't have a problem with your unexplained acronyms.] [used Napkin: How joyous. And just as I am sending you my greetings, SOF.] Last but not least is... [Jjs: It's obviously 37.] [Wumbo: I believe that it's not the least, considering the amount of drivel we've had to wade through to get this far.] [used Napkin: My condolences to those of you who have lost IQ points while reading these episodes.] DOWN UNDER! [Jjs: ] [used Napkin: Precisely where my optimism has gone.] SOF *narrates*: I mean this has to absolute the worst Spin-Off show I have ever seen. [used Napkin: This has “to absolute” the worst punctuation I have ever seen.] [Jjs *narrates*: Really? I thought the other three would have been the absolute worst as well. What makes this one worse than the other three, oh mighty Spin-Off Lorax?] [steel: "AAAAAAH, HORRIBLE!"] There is no character development, [used Napkin: And I suppose your opinion’s development fares much better?] [Jjs: Okay, I know I haven't read Down Under in over a year, and while I agree it was hard to follow, I'm pretty sure there was character development. Of course, the mighty Spin-Off Lorax probably quit reading before the development got heavy. So much for a "fair" review.] there is too many sub-plots going on, [Jjs: Sub Plot #1: Steel ordered a sandwich. Sub Plot #2: Wumbo joins the Canadian hockey team. Sub Plot #3: Jjs ponders how bad this review can be. Sub Plot #4: Elsewhere, there is a giant beast Impostor SOF must defeat with the Mallet of Doom™. Sub Plot #5: Metal Snake is already typing up his reply to this riff as we speak. Sub Plot #6: AcidicDragon still exists, dammit. Are those too many sub plots for you, SOF?] [steel Sponge: I don't know why I'm still here. I'm simply killing time here. Maybe I'll get a sandwich from Subwaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.] [used Napkin: I shall proceed to join you, although I would greatly appreciate not being used to wipe your unprofessional eating.] too dirty, [Jjs: Funny, you never said RRR was "too dirty", despite it being possibly the dirtiest show in SBC history. SOF bias is already clear in sight, folks!] [steel: You're right, when was the last time Down Under bathed anyways?] [Wumbo: When my spin-off gets too dirty, I just take one of these pods and pop it in! That's my Tide. What's yours?] [used Napkin: True dirtiness cannot be experienced unless you are a napkin.] and the biggest flaw of all: the hard-to-follow story. [Jjs: While I admit Down Under was hard to follow, are you actually going to explain why it was hard to follow, or just continue with your bias? Oh wait, I think I already answered my own question.] [steel Sponge: Bias. Bias everywhere.]SOF *narrates*: We start off with SG10 when she was typing something in her computer. Fishy ain’t it? [steel: Trout? Catfish? Seamonkey?] [Jjs: How is it fishy? Unless she was typing an assassination letter to the Prime Minister of Russia to discuss their plan to kill Barack Obama, I don't see anything suspicious in the slightest.] [Wumbo: Haha, fishy! Because... fish? Underwater? Ha? Ha?] [used Napkin: Somebody rip me. I needn’t hear any more of these uninspired puns.] *cue scene* [steel: Q SEEN!] [Jjs: Ah, I knew I could count on SOF to cue his scenes like there is no tomorrow.] [used Napkin: Phenomenal. My first glimpse at this “hard-to-follow” piece of literature called Down Under.] As she was welcomed by her many friends, they started to discuss how long SBC would stay alive. Suddenly, the chatbox on the screen started to shake. [used Napkin: Factory trauma. Whoopee.] SG started to type when her whole house started to vibrate vigorously. SG looked up at the ceiling as cracks started to appear. She looked back at the screen and saw a blinding light projecting out. [Jjs: SG, don't go towards the light!] [steel: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT! REVVED UP LIKE A DEUCE. ANOTHER RUNNER IN THE NIGHT!] She suddenly felt very hot, followed by a terrible burning sensation. [Wumbo: Ding! You've got chlamydia.] SG10 let out a weak yelp before her whole body exploded in a furious boom of fire. She was then being sucked into her computer screen. What the hell is this? she thought. She then landed hard on a sandy floor. [used Napkin: The pain is mutual, SG.] [Jjs: I'm guessing this is how SOF kidnapped people to be on his show.] [Wumbo: Oh, I get it. It's sandy. That's her name, and... wait.] SOF *narrates*: So the entire SBCers were being sucked into the computer screen... wonder where it leads to. [Jjs: It leads to Narnia.] [used Napkin: Narnia is sounding rather pleasant.] *cue scene* [steel: Somebody change the title to SOF's Frequent Cue Scene Corner, stat!] "Ughh," she moaned. [Jjs: That's my thought on this summary so far.] [used Napkin: That’s my thought on Narnians using me to remove Turkish Delight from their faces.] SG10 hurt all over. She looked up from the ground and saw something that made her scream. It was an enormous pineapple. Where am I?! She then noticed she was purple...and had fins...she was a fish! Suddenly, a blue fish came running towards her. "HELP! HELP ME!" he screamed. "My name is ExKizuna. Will you help me?" SG thought it over. "Ex...?" "Yes, that's my name! Do you know what happened to me? I'm not a fish!" he yelled. "Ex, Ex, calm down," she assured him. "I'm ScienceGirl." "SG? Oh god, what the hell is this?" "I have no clue. Is this...Bikini Bottom?" Over the past several years, the group of Spongebob lovers had become close. The fictional world of Spongebob had been just that-fictional. But whatever the computer did to them...was unreal. SOF: Is it just me or does this scene reminds me of Captain N? [used Napkin: Captain N… Captain Napkin… I like that.] [Jjs: SOF, enough with the cheap attempts at comedy, and get to actual reviewing.] [steel: Oh hey, sounds like the show The Nostalgia Critic reviewed about four years ago.] [Wumbo: Yes. Yes, it is just you.] Announcer: DOWN UNDER: THE GAME MASTER [Jjs: SOF has his own announcer to make lame jokes for him? I wonder if the announcer was kidnapped with the audience from Episode 5.] [steel: Go home Captain N announcer, you're drunk!] [used Napkin: I loathe abrupt announcements.] SOF: SHUT UP! [steel: AND TAKE MY MONEY!] [Jjs: NO YOU! See, it's funny to force in an irrelevant joke about Captain N and then yell at an out of nowhere announcer!] [Wumbo: I love these comedy breaks. All they need is comedy.] [used Napkin: Most thankfully, Napkin 7,777 is not here to witness this insult. Napkin 7,777: I beg to differ, dearest brother of—] [Jjs: *rips Napkin 7,777*] [Napkin 7,777: Pain is plaguing my soul.] SOF *narrates*: So SBCers were trying to figure out what is going on in this universe. [used Napkin: While I simultaneously attempt to discern the happenings of this corner of criticism.] [Jjs *zzzz*: If SOF keeps this summarizing up, I think this review is going to turn into SBC Mafia 2, which isn't a goodsign.] [Wumbo: Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out why my universe involves me having so little of a life that I make fun of other people's carefully crafted spin-offs. And meanwhile meanwhile, what am I doing with this one?] *cue scene* "Magical computer virus!" SBLover said. "Nah," Hassan replied. "I don't think so." "Maybe this is fake," Deli said. [Jjs: I wish I could say the same thing about this summarizing show.] [used Napkin: My feelings are mutual.] "What are we going to do?!" Pokesponge cried out. SOF *narrates*: So they thought it was a virus? Nonsense! [Jjs: So they had every right to think it was a virus since it involves being sucked into a computer? Nonsense! Seriously SOF, get to the material.] [steel: This show is nonsense!]*cue scene* [Jjs: I spoke too soon.] [steel: Seriously, if you would be counting over the cue scene pinpoints, you would already lose count.]Spongebob the appeared in the doorway. "Hiya," he said. [used Napkin: Ah, yes. The accident prone nerd. I remember you.] "Oh...my....god," Spongebobs1fan said. "I'M YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN!!" "Oh goody!" Spongebob clapped. "Come inside!" The large group walked in and looked around. They were inside Spongebob's house.... Suddenly, there was a loud SHRIEK overhead. "What was that?" asked Clapmaster. [Jjs: It was the sound of SOF's audience trying to escape the studio.]"Close the door, close the door!" Spongebob yelled. But before he could, a cloud-like figure walked in, holding a bow and arrow. He shot Spongebob and then stared at the group. [used Napkin: The nerd has been nuked.] [steel: Yeah, you can tell I'm still ticked with the "killing-Spongebob-off-in-one-episode-flat" conception.] "Is that Doodlebob?!" Wumbology asked. [Jjs: No, it's SOF. He entered the show to destroy the show because he hates it for no good reasons to our knowledge.] [steel: Ohai Guru Gakuto.] [Wumbo: I don't remember saying that.] "Looks like it," said ExKizuna. SOF: So there’s an enemy in there, nice. [used Napkin: There’s an enemy in this critic corner as well. Any guesses?] [Jjs: Yup, they are about to be killed by you. Nice indeed!] [steel: This worst spin-off ever, so here's a little bit of positive feedback.] [Wumbo: Damn this stupid show for having characters! And plots! And... um, what's so bad about this?]*cue scene* [Wumbo: Thanks for leaving this one untouched thus far, guys. Um, let's see. Joke to make... joke to make... CUE SCENE? MORE LIKE BOO SCENE OF SOF'S SPIN-OFF AMIRITE? ...this is why I don't get many dates.]"What happened last night," started jjs. "It was terrible. We witnessed Spongebob's death. Doodlebob is an obvious fucker if he kills his creator." "What if there are more?" asked tvguy. "Then we have to defend ourselves," replied 70s. "It's likely that he's taken over Bikini Bottom. I didn't notice anyone on the streets while we walked over to SG and Ex." "Neither did I," said Jelly. "Nor did I," agreed Clappy. "But how?" "Maybe...nah, I got nothing," Steel Sponge said. SOF *narrates*: So they went to find some weapons to get ready to attack Doodlebob. [Jjs: Come on, come on, start reviewing...] [steel: The summarizing, it burns!] [used Napkin: Proceed with the plot!] I think it has to do with all the reality in this series. [Jjs: And now you lost me.] [Wumbo: Goddamned realistic, relatable plots like a doodle of a cartoon character killing people!] For ex: SB is a CARTOON and members are REAL-LIFE. [steel: ] [Jjs: Yeah, I'm officially lost.] [Wumbo: For Ex? Look, usually when I review a song, I tend to remember the artist. Wait... does he mean for example? Okay, you know what my biggest problem with this wretched spin-off is? It's all the freakin' acronyms and abbreviations. Why should we be bothered to read it if you can't be bothered to write it? Come on! 3/4 of this is cut-and-paste anyway.] [used Napkin: Cut and paste… more factory trauma.] DO YOU THINK IT’S FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK THIS SERIES SHOULD BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE? HELL NO! [Jjs: Seriously SOF, what the fuck are you going on about? When you try reviewing this, you make no sense. Gah, let's see where this goes.] [steel: AND THAT MAKES HIM FURIOUS!] [WUMBO: I'M ANGRY YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE GRAAAAH ALLCAPS] [used Napkin: Even Nukey Nerd possessed far greater amounts of logic than you.]*cue scene* [steel: Gracious, I can't hold all these que scenes! Yeah, I'm done with these jokes.] "HI," Doodlebob announced. He waved his hands and he went to the air. The other doodles did the same, but turning into different things. "Go, go!" Everyone ran towards the back of the cave. But what they didn't know was that it turned into a maze or coral walls. 70s and tvguy took to one side, while everyone else broke up into partners. "What do we do?" tvguy yelped. [steel: [Jjs: Good question, since SOF is barely trying to nitpick anything, we have nothing to riff.] [Wumbo: I almost want to riff Down Under, since SOF never got around to it, it seems.]"I don't know!" 70s yelled back. [Jjs: SOF doesn't know what to do with this review, either. Hence why he keeps pasting scenes over and over, and barely criticizing it.]"But you're the freakin' admin!" "This isn't a forum, tvguy!" They continued to run, turning the corners. The whale chasing them was gaining on them. SOF *yells*: STOP THINKING IT’S THE FUCKING INTERNET! [Jjs *yells*: SOF, REMEMBER WHEN THIS WAS A REVIEW SHOW? WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO THE BABBLE LIKE AN IDIOT SHOW?] [steel: WHAT ARE WE YELLING ABOUT!?] [WUMBO: HULK SMASH GRAAAHAAAAHAAAH It's funny because my font is green.] [used Napkin: I refuse to partake in this gratuitous abuse of grammar.] YOU’RE IN THE REAL WORLD. [Jjs: ] [Wumbo: You know it's sad when you're actually hoping for the MTV show of the same name.] [used Napkin: Pitiful, SOF. I would frown upon you for this insensitive paraphrasing if I had the eyebrows to do it.] *cue scene* Clapmaster and Jelly ran, Doodlebob hot on their trail. "God, I don't want to die," Jelly mumbled. Clapmaster looked at her, his unsolved emotions fogging up his focus. Suddenly a wave of water shot out from Clappy, hitting Doodlebob in the air. He hit the ground with a big smash. "Clapmaster," Jelly said. "What was that?" [Jjs: I think it was SOF's creativity, because he definitely ran it into the ground with this review.]He shrugged and the two kept on running. SOF: *narrates* Wait? [used Napkin: Precisely what I have been doing. Kindly deliver!] [Jjs: Oh finally, SOF is nitpicking. I think I prefer SOF's idiotic nitpicks than his boring snoozefest summarizing to be honest. At least it gives us material.] Hot on the trail? Don’t you mean HUNT DOWN on the trail? [Jjs: Well, at least we have classic SOF nitpicks again. Hunt down on the trail? Lulz. I dunno what they call it in Canada SOF, but you're nitpicking is flawed again.] [steel: So I guess idioms are difficult to understand too? Seriously, it was an IDIOM!] [Wumbo: ...Okay, what happened here? "Hot on the trail" was like 5 sentences ago! Why are you waiting until now to bring it up? I feel like I'm watching The Room with all this mismatched dialogue. Anywai jjs, how's your sex life?] [used Napkin: SOF’s failed criticism is depressing.] I’m sorry this story seems to have a grammar fail. [Jjs: The irony in this show is hurting me. SOF giving grammar criticisms? I think his sentence to the Irony Jail is now three years.] [steel: You got that right. Send in the count! ] [Wumbo: I... I just... I... but... he... wha...] [used Napkin: Fantastic SOF. You have successfully made a napkin cry.] So the SBCers went another way to escape from Doodlebob. [Jjs: And we're back to useless filler-] [News reporter: We interrupt this delightful riff to bring you a tragic event. Wumbo's brain has fried from SOF pointing out someone's supposedly bad grammar. He lived a good life, making fun of mainstream artists, eating potato chips, and the occasional jerkoff to Kate Upton. Oops, did I say that last part aloud?] [Wumbo: Hey guys, back from un-frying my brain. Who's this?] [News reporter: ...Details at eleven. *leaves*] [Wumbo: Okay... so, let's just forget that divide-by-zero level irony ever happened and get back to the-he's summarizing again isn't he?]SOF: You know what? [Jjs: What is it SOF? Is this show so bad you're legit cutting it off? You better not pull an SBC Therapy.] [Wumbo: Let the record show that I barely ever know "what" when it comes to this spin-off, so why don't you just get to it.] [used Napkin: Proceed, fool!] The show sucks too easily.. [steel: You're giving up that easy? Is this spin-off to you is what vampires are to sunlight? No wonder I used the Count for my riffs.] [Jjs: Uh oh, SOF cut it off! Seriously though, how did it suck too easily? You BARELY even reviewed it all.] [Wumbo: When it comes to taking the easiest route to suck, SOF would be the expert.] [used Napkin: SOF, I’m faced with the countless trials of being a napkin, and all you are faced with is an insignificant review. Yet this review is far too great a load for you to continue pressing on. Splendid.] let’s talk about this briefly. [Jjs: Good, because I know your thoughts are as brief as this "critique".] [used Napkin: I would prefer not to converse.] In one episode there was a scene where Steel and CF were...CATS?! [Jjs: We did? Because you never pasted a scene of it.] [steel: Too bad I didn't sing and dance.] Wait what? CATS DON’T WORK IN A SB-RELATED SHOW! [steel: Unless you're Kenny the Cat, and Sea Leopard!Steel and Sea Leopard!CF] [Jjs: See, I would be on SOF's side for this one, but considering he didn't even paste a scene of it, I'm skeptic to question how truthful he is...] [used Napkin: I daresay his facial complexion is beginning to resemble that of Pinocchio.] They are supposed to be snails, not cats. [Jjs: ] Second of all..Clap and Jelly sex scene is just no…just no. [Jjs: It shouldn't be "no just no", because RRR had sex (technically rape) all the time, but that never disturbed you. I think SOF is going to have to share an Irony Jail and Bias Jail at this point honestly.] Really? [steel: Squidward: Really.] [Jjs: Yes, really. Because the bias is strong in this one.] Why do you want to make some details about sex? [Jjs: Sex would be more interesting than this review honestly.] [steel: Considerably, a lot of people are just sex-crazy.] [Wumbo: No, seriously. Is SOF Tommy Wiseau in disguise? "I cannot reveal that sex scene, it's confidential!"] [used Napkin: You limb-containing organisms have all the luck whereas I am a mere napkin, incapable of engaging in such pleasures. It is the sad truth. Embrace your limbs for what they are.] You can’t have like 20 eps with full of sex scenes. [Jjs: RRR says hi again.] [Wumbo: Porno says hi as well. What? You know it's true, you fucking pervs! *gets phone call* Hello, mom? I'm on the news? What for? What?! How did they get that info? Well... c'mon, you have to admit she's worthy. She likes a man with hair on his chest, but not on his back! I have a chance, mom! Excuse me, I have to take this outside.] Oh, one last thing. [Jjs: Seriously SOF. You're just grasping the straws now, as evident with you forcing all these last minute criticisms at the end of the review.] The villains seem to be so forgettable that they have nothing to do with SB, except for DoodleBob. [Jjs: The only villain we saw was DoodleBob. Seriously, if you are going to critique something, ACTUALLY SHOW US IT. Otherwise, we may have no idea what the hell you are going on about...like now.] [steel: I guess I sorta only remember a couple.] [Wumbo: I'm back. What'd I miss? Another vague, unexplained "critique"? Seems about right.] And Redman? Really? [Jjs: It's alright SOF, I know you wanted him to be Blueman instead, but we can't get everything.] [steel: Redman sounds like a rejected foreign name for the Power Rangers.] It’s like a guy covered with red blood in a suit. [Jjs: ] [Wumbo: Sounds like this villain could have a good backstory. Sounds interesting, dark. I'm glad you like the spin-off, SOF, especially for its well-thought-out villains. Wait, what?] Ugh, I’m sorry but I gotta stop right there. [Jjs: ] [used Napkin: Cease the apologetics, SOF.] [Wumbo: Oh hun, you should have stopped 9 episodes ago.] This series is too confusing to read [Jjs: I can see why, considering you only pasted scenes from about two episodes, and then just went off from there with no actual material.] [Wumbo: ... Nah, too easy. Too easy. Does anyone think SOF's psychic, and created this specifically so we could riff it?] and many other readers find it hard to follow. [used Napkin: Are you suggesting that I lack a brain? …you would be correct, sadly.] [Jjs: Don't throw others under the bus. We know you're running out of material, but don't blame others to back up your so-called opinions.] [steel: I'm certain that I wasn't reading it wrong.] [Wumbo: You know what's great about the Nostalgia Critic? He stands by his opinions, no matter the unpopularity of them. SOF, meanwhile, uses the popular opinion as his opinion, as well as using the fact that it's popular to back it up. Son, you may have a future as a commercial shill. Damn you lucky bastard.] Well that’s end of TTT Sunday, [Jjs: ] [steel: Finally. Now we just need to go through a boatload of everything else] [Wumbo: IWYWEYA (I wish you would explain your acronyms).] [used Napkin: Judging from this bile, I am pleased to have missed the previous installments.] hope you enjoyed. [Jjs: I hope you know we didn't.] I’m SOF signing off, dammit! *leaves angrily*. [steel: Well that was a very criticial review episode of SECC, and it sure was more interesting ebough to read compared to every other episode with all the darn summarizing. I'm Steel Sponge, signing off, dammit!] [Wumbo: I've always found critics at their best, most interesting, and most hilarious when they're tearing something apart. Ebert, Nostalgia Critic, Clappy's Craptacular Cinema. But SOF may have created his most tedious episode thus far. Same old summarizing tactics, the parts he reviews he doesn't explain, and it all makes you wonder how seriously you can take his opinion, and after a second you stop wondering because you know that the answer is "not very seriously at all". I'm Wumbo, signing off to the bathroom. Anyone got a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition I can borrow?] [Jjs: And this is the Riffing Agents, signing off, dammit! *leaves angrily* Seriously, that was awful. Where the hell was the actual review? It's kind of funny, actually. For a show SOF hated so much, you'd think he would have gone all out on this one. All of this TTT block was horrible, honestly. But...which one was the absolute worst of them all? I'll let the riffers of this and you, the audience decide. I can't really decide myself...they were all pretty shitty, but I think this or SBC Therapy might have been the absolute worst. Thanks for the aid, Steel, Wumbo, and CDCB...but unfortunately, there's still four more episodes of this "review show" left.] [used Napkin: I regret ever pondering the possibility of reviewing this. Through this I have experienced traumas far more intense than those from the Bikini Bottom Napkin Factory. Thank you SOF. My therapy bill will skyrocket.] Time passes… [CDCB: *yawn* That was a good nap …wait, how did this napkin get on my desk?] Edited May 16, 2016 by jjsthekid 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Everyone's commentary on this one was great. XD Didn't see what was wrong with this line though. "and many other readers find it hard to follow." He's not insulting the readers, he's just trying to paraphrase a "popular opinion" among them. But that doesn't change my opinion that this was the worst review of the tvguy block. I didn't even get the feeling past SOF was trying...he couldn't even explain point blank the reason why he had all this hatred for Down Under. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 Everyone's commentary on this one was great. XD Didn't see what was wrong with this line though. "and many other readers find it hard to follow." He's not insulting the readers, he's just trying to paraphrase a "popular opinion" among them. I know that, but the main issue with it was that he was just forcing in it for the sake of having more material, and using other people's opinions just to back his up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) 10. Noob Troop Spoiler 10. Noob Troop [Jjs: Welcome Metal Snake and Trophy! We got out of the hell that was SOF's Tvguy Roast..but unfortunately there's still four standalone "reviews" left. Note I used the quotes around reviews for a reason, and you'll see why in the final two episodes. Until then, let's give this bad boy a shot!] [Trophy: Yes, I announced earlier that I gave up on SECC but with Clappy gone I decided to torture myself for fun.] SOF: Hello there, today we are going to review a lit that is very odd…. [Trophy: With S,O, AND F!] [Jjs: Hello there, and why is it odd, SOF? Having a hard time going back to normal shows after bashing all of tvguy's?] [Metal Snake: Are you talking about your own work?] because it basically reminds me of The Troop.…which is considered to be the worst Nick show ever seen, but that’s another story. [Jjs: Yes, because having the word "Troop" in the title Noob Troop automatically makes it similar to a shitty Nick show. For this lame side comment, I already have to introduce a new police squad: OFF-TOPIC POLICE! Oh wait...SOF didn't reveal what show he is revealing yet? Sorry for the spoiler. I mean, I know you guys wouldn't have guessed from the title considering SOF likes to insult our intelligence.] [Metal Snake: Ever seen by who? Who’s the judge of that, a pair of eyes?] Originally, the lit was created by Clappy. [Jjs: Oh boy, here we go with the long introduction of details.] He wrote the first 6 eps and it is really good. [Jjs: I'm guessing me buying the show later on isn't important enough right now.] It has decent plot/characters with good details and funny humor. [Trophy: WELL TELL US WHAT AND WHO THEY WERE FIRST MR. CRITIC, SO WE KNOW WHAT THEY ARE FOR THE VIEWERS WHO DIDNT READ IT YET!] [Jjs: "It has decent plot/characters"? When did plots and characters become the same thing in this world? "For the Metal Snake (aka plot) of today's episode, Jjs, Metal Snake, and Trophy must tackle on this beast to see if it can be even worse."] [Metal Snake: Wow, a combination of present and past tense. Surprised he is not gave credit to the lit for have not been limited by the laws of time. I'll joined in on the tackle.] SOF *narrates*: Let’s start off with ep 1 as we are introduced to how the gang started. [Jjs: Wait a minute SOF, we don't even know what it is about! No really, did he just skip what the plot is about again... Okay you know one of my BIGGEST issues with this vile show is? ACTUALLY TELL US WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT! Seriously, why should we be bothered to read this if he always skips the main plot of the show? Otherwise, new readers may have no idea what the hell he is going on about. That was one of the biggest flaws with his Tvguy Roast. It shouldn't even be that hard for him to tell us considering all of this show is summarizing.] [Metal Snake: They were just a regular, everyday, normal crew!] *cue scene* [Jjs: Considering how this one is probably going to be boring summarizing again just from glimpsing, I'm going to entertain myself and count how many *cue scenes* are in this episode. Thanks to Steel, here's a counter I'll use: ] "What are you guys doing?" Nathan asked. [Jjs: Yo momma.] "We are trying to find a way back on to tv.com" All three replied. "No way, I was on tv.com too. Which forum did you guys go to?" Nathan asked. "SpongeBob." All three said "I love SpongeBob, but the users on that forum are jerks for calling me a noob. My name is NathanJR." Nathan said. "We have all been called noobs as well by them and we don't understand why. My name is woahwoah." woahwoah said. "Let me introduce you to everyone else. The guy who looks like he can PMS at any minute is hipepeoples and the guy over there who seems to be obsessing over the Spin-off Reviews section is 66ers." [Metal Snake: I feel like I’m developing PTS disorder reading all this boring as fuck having sex with shit copypasta. Whenever I see giant walls of text on the internet that I know has been copied and pasted from elsewhere on the internet in the future, I’m going to get pissed. Seriously, if I wanted to read the show you’re taking so-called “clips” from, I’d read the damn show you’re taking so-called “clips” from!] SOF *narrates*: hipepeople44 tells them what happened in XAT fight back in 2010. [Jjs: Apparently it wasn't important enough to be cue scene'd.] 66ers wanted to see if other users reviewed his show but nobody has since they were just ignored. [Jjs: ] [Metal Snake: Who’s they? The users? Their reviews? They’s cousin Trey?] My guess is maybe they must be really annoyed at him since he did get tvfan95 banned back in Feb 2009. [Jjs: ] [Metal Snake: Actually, Tvfan was already on the verge of getting banned before 66ers reported him. But more importantly, this bit of information is TERRIBLY outdated. Many users eventually got over 66ers’ most “infamous misdeed”. 66ers was most notorious for his constant review begging around the time The Noob Troop was written.] Come to think of it, did anyone notice 66ers begs a lot? [Jjs: Wow, three No Shit Sherlock's in a row. SOF, I think you might have made a world record.] [Metal Snake: No, of course not. I thought he was just asking nicely for some aspirin from hipepeoples.] Steel: Yes, yes he does. [Jjs: Oh for fuck's sake SOF, Steel again? When did he become your back-up joke guy? I guess we'll be seeing Ex again soon.] SOF: Of course he does, thanks Steel. Steel: No problem. *leaves* [Jjs: Poor Steel, being forced into a shoddy attempt at the Nostalgia Critic. I do thank him for giving me the cue scene image though. Speaking of which...] [Metal Snake: And the award for the Most Pointless Cameo goes to...] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "We should make a mystery spin-off and get awesome reviews." 66ers shouted. The four agreed as the Noob Troop was born. SOF *narrates*: So they wanted to buy a treehouse…reminds me of Codename: Kids Next Door. [Jjs *narrates*: According to the Nostalgia Summarizing Spin-Off Lorax (figured I'd combine all of the nicknames), having a treehouse automatically means your show will remind SOF of Codename: Kids Next Door.] [Metal Snake: The Kids Next Door did not buy their treehouse. With past SOF’s logic, I could say that the Noob Troop building a treehouse reminds me of “We Bought a Zoo”.] It’s a shame the show ended back in 2007. [Jjs: OFF-TOPIC POLICE!] [Metal Snake: What, pray tell, does this have to do with reviewing?! The noobs from the Noob Troop are not child secret agents. They are not network executives either, making this shout-out...IRRELEVANT.] The news just reported that the body of a John Doe was found. The clerk explained to them it was found near Jersey Shore, but they just ignored him thinking it was a lie. [Metal Snake: Past SOF’s summarized (or should I say sloppily butchered) version of The Noob Troop does not even mention that The Noob Troop at least attempted to find the body. If you haven’t read the lot of the original works that past SOF has “reviewed”, you have no choice but to ignore your sense of logic thinking that these summaries are telling the truth.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "I found a copy of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. What a fantastic movie. Great acting, great script, great directing, great everything. Michael Bay, you did it again. 10/10!" woahwoah said. "I was given 60 dollars all together just because people didn't want me to ask them for reviews." 66ers said. "I found one of those old fashioned hand radios. What am I suppose to do with this????" hipepeoples asked. SOF *narrates*: The noobs haven’t found meef or beef *chuckles*. [Jjs: Hooray, another joke that makes no sense whatsoever! *chuckles*] [Metal Snake: They also haven’t found dicken or chicken. Neither have they found dork or pork and the much underappreciated fuck or duck. Rhyme is not a crime, but it must be used within reason.] We come to next episode. [Jjs: We do? I need a cue scene to prove it.] [Trophy: No ya don't!] *cue scene* [Jjs: That's my boy! ] "OOOHHH YYEESSS!!!!" [Trophy: OOOHHH NNNOOO! [Jjs: OOOHHH NNOOOOO!!!!....is our reaction to this summary.] [Metal Snake: In past SOF’s version, the Noob Troop had some fun offscreen.] The four noobs ran out of the house and ran into Nathan's mom naked and with white goop all over her. "Mom! What happened??" Nathan asked. [Jjs: I wonder if SOF will complain about this innuendo, or if he will still hold a bias.] "Well I better come clean honey....your father hasn't been satisfying mommy's needs and this young handsome gentlemen named Cassidy just came by and...." "You don't need to say any more mom, its quite obvious......that a ghost just attacked you. We shall get to the bottom of this!" SOF: Umm….what just happened? [Jjs: You tell us. You are the Recap Critic after all.] [Metal Snake: Oh past SOF, if there were a role-playing game based off of this show, you would love it. You’d play the role of the oblivious protagonist Nathan very well.] SOF *narrates*: So they went to see their science teacher. He explained the white goop was sperm....um, Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated much? [Jjs: What...? I don't even...what the fuck? There was sperm in an episode of Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated? SOF, I don't know what episodes you watched...OFF-TOPIC POLICE!] [Metal Snake: I know Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated had a few sideplots about relationships, but dayum.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] “We are going to catch this ghost the same way those guys catch ghosts in Ghostbusters? [Metal Snake: Huh? Wait...hold it...] But those movies are terrible! We should just booby trap the house like in Home Alone 4! Easily the best movie of the series! It was so good that it didn't get released in theaters and just went straight to tv, but they were able to keep the same cast remained through all four movies! I love Home Alone 4! 10/10!" woahwoah acclaimed. [Metal Snake: HOLD IT.] "Shush that fucking ghost is coming!" hipepeoples shouted. [Metal Snake: HOLD IT!] SOF *narrates*: Nathan and his friends are ready to capture the "ghost" but it turns out it was Drag who was doing it. The boys celebrated as they headed back to their clubhouse which leads to the next episode. [Jjs: BIAS POLICE! SOF doesn't complain about the dirtiness in this episode (despite it being as noticeable as Fat Albert), yet he finds Spin-Off Action: The Reboot and Down Under dirty? Oh SOF, I don't know if the Bias Jail and Irony Jail can hold you at this point anymore.] [Metal Snake: OBJECTION! Why are they trying to capture the ghost if the science teacher showed them the ectoplasm was semen?! YOU NEED TO SUMMARIZE THE EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED IN THE SHOW IN YOUR OWN WORDS! YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN! EXPLANATIONS CREATE FOUNDATIONS! In other words, just explain. AND. SUM. MARIZE. PPPPPRRRRROOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Hi folks! Welcome lolland, NY!" roozie greated. "But this is Alabama." Nathan's mom replied. "Lololololololol." roozie laughed. He was laughing meniacally and it was making hipepeoples cry, so they walked away.yo SOF: Haha, that's Joker for ya. [Jjs: ] [Metal Snake: Why...so...jocular?] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "Yes pans in place. Must through now noobicide bombers." Roozie said. "His plans get a F, not a good spin-off since we don't know what he's talking about." 66ers sad. All of a sudden, explosions were going through lolland. The roller coaster, the log flume ride, the bumper cars, everything was exploding. "BOYS! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Nathan's mom cried. SOF *narrates*: So they ran as fast as they could. Nathan, his mom, and woahwoah survived, but unfortunately 66ers and hipeoples were killed. However, both of then revive Noob Troop for next ep as they try to find two new members. [Jjs: "Both of then"? No SOF, there cannot be both of a time.] [Metal Snake: Who is then? 66ers and hipeoples?! Did they get resurrected and then try to revive an already alive group of people with more people?!] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Nathan: WELCOME TO THE NOOB TROOP'S GOT TALENT! I AM YOUR HOST NATHANJR AND I AM ALSO ONE OF THE THREE JUDGES ALONG WITH WOAHWOAH AND MY MOM! LET'S MOVE ONTO THE CONTESTANTS! [Muscle Man: YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVES TO JUDGE TALENT? MY MOM!] SOF: Ah, I see they are having their own version of AGT or BGT (America's/Britain's Got Talent). [Jjs: Apparently other countries that have their own Got Talents aren't worthy of being mentioned. Not even poor Canada's Got Talent. How could you hate your country, SOF? Also, OFF-TOPIC POLICE!] [Metal Snake: It looks more like American Idol to me, but at least you got the joke.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Nathan: You say your name is BillyBob_64.....and what exactly are your qualities you can put forth towards The Noob Troop? *silence* [Trophy: *silence*] Woahwoah: I see you log onto SBC almost everyday....what exactly do you say to your fellow users? Do you talk about movies.....tv shows......Spongebob? *silence* SOF: He doesn’t talk much does he? [Metal Snake: Nah, he just likes speaking in silence.] Steel: Nope, he’s a very quiet user that never posts. [Jjs: Steel again? SOF, enough using Steel to make lame jokes already.] [Metal Snake: Past SOF, please don’t try to educate us. You don’t have a mind of steel when it comes to understanding these jokes.] SOF: True, but does he comes to xat too? Does he even come here anymore? [Jjs: Is this even a review anymore?] [Trophy: *gives bat to jjs* Hit me as hard as you can.] Steel: Nope and nope. SOF: Wow, quite a mystery eh? Maybe the Noob Troop should solve the mystery of BillyBob next. *chuckles* [Jjs: Maybe they should solve the mystery of why SOF can't review. *chuckles*] [Metal Snake: Better yet, maybe solve the mystery of how these people keep getting into your recording studio. I’m sure the Noob Troop would enjoy trying to figure out why your front door is always open and unlocked.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Woahwoah: My turn to ask a question! So what do you think about The Wrestler? TarterSauce: Oh that's a great movie! Woahwoah: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT IS ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES EVER SINCE IT WAS A SERIOUS MOVIE, HAD NO ACTUAL ENDING, AND WE ARE SUPPOSE TO THINK FOR OURSELVES WHAT HAPPENED? TarterSauce: Yeah, I agree. Such a bad movie. SOF: Um..didn't he already say he liked it? [Jjs: That's the joke. TarterSauce was an opinionless buffoon...and I feel like a moron myself for having to explain this joke to SOF. Critical Research Failure, folks!] [Metal Snake: He is supposed to be a sycophant...THAT’S THE *smacks a glass of punch off the kitchen counter and it lands on the perfectly aligned floor tiles* PUNCHLINE!] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Crad: Awesome! August 1, 2011 has been a great date for thecrad. Even better than June 24, 2009! Nathan: Geez, I wish I can remember that far back! Woahwoah: Now I don't like you. June 24, 2009 was the day Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen came out, aka the best movie ever made!!! You have no credibilty to diss the genius that is Michael Bay! SOF: After many auditions for the talent show, we finally get to see who the new members are. [Jjs: We will? I'm not seeing a cue scene below.] [Metal Snake: Got to give past SOF credit here, at least he didn’t go for a half-assed joke about December 21, 2012.] SOF *narrates*: Nathan announced that sponge_bob and ACS are the two new members of Noob Troop. [Jjs: Apparently they weren't important enough to be pasted.] 4EverGreen gets mad, so he, TarterSauce, BillyBob and thecrad make their own mystery-solving team and that leads to a rivalry. [Jjs: More useless summarizing...I think it's making us all sleepy, but don't worry, I've got just the thing to keep us awake.] Gang wars eh? [Jjs: Useless comment eh?] [Metal Snake: You wanna be part of our gang? Then you got to pop some punk-ass noobs.] This is just the beginning with the 2 new members. SOF: Then, Clappy decided to end it...but.. [Jjs: Wow, this has got to be the most montone thing I've ever read. "Clappy ended it, oh well". Then again, I can barely tell if SOF even likes this show or not as it is. I think you were right Wumbo, this is The Room.] Audience: NOOOO! [Non-audience: YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!] [Jjs: Who even consists of SOF's "audience"? Steel, Ex, some hobo from the bus station, and a guy named Steve?] [Metal Snake: *One guy in the audience* Eh, I just come for the free refreshments anyways.] SOF: I wasn't finished yet... [Trophy: *Gulps* more torture yay.] [Jjs: Then don't put an ellipses or your "audience" won't yell.] as I was saying, Clappy ended it, but he later sold it at his store, and jjs bought the rights to continue it. [Jjs: Holy shit SOF, it takes you a quarter of the review to finally bring that up? Like I said, poor summarizing at its finest.] Audience: WOOO! [Trophy: Non-Audience: ] [Jjs: It's sad how the audience is showing more enthusiasm and emotion than SOF.] [Metal Snake: *One guy in the audience* Then again, there’s not much else to do here besides listen to this guy.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] ONE OF MY WANGS IS MISSING!" ACS yelled. "Don't know what to tell you there son, just make with what you have," he said. "NO!" ACS yelled, flipping over the table. "Sir, come down or I will escort you out," the waiter said, threatening to call security. SOF *narrates*: So this is a mystery, huh? [Jjs: ] [Metal Snake: It’s called comic relief. The only mystery is why you don’t seem to understand that the mysteries in The Noob Troop are just jokes for the most part.] I find it funny ACS didn’t even notice his wang had already been eaten, seriously ACS, think before you jump to conclusions. [Jjs: Thanks for spoiling the rest of the episode, bud.] [Metal Snake: A clown’s act just isn’t the same without a clown.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "Dang, I'm sensing a twist, M. Night style," Woahwoah said. "He is a wonderful director for your info! His best movie was probably The Last Airbender, my 2nd favorite is DEVIL and-" [Trophy: If woahwoah hates all good and likes all bad, then I know not to watch those.] "I've never heard of those films, but this isn't the time for a weekly movie review," Nathan said. SOF: The Last Airbender was the worst film ever. Let's see what happens next.. [Jjs: SOF can't stay on-topic today. OFF-TOPIC POLICE!] [Metal Snake: A joke just isn’t the same without making light of facts and commonly accepted opinions.] *cue scene* [Jjs: Holy shit SOF, we're at 14 cue scenes now. ] 10 wangs huh? I guess you fucked 10 girls, right?" one of them said. "SHUT UP!!" ACS yelled. "YOU TWO TOOK IT!" "Well, I hate to be the bad news bringer bud, but we both only have 1 penis," the teen said. "Alright, let's search 'em!" Woahwoah said. "Detective movie style!" The 4 began to tear off the teens' clothes, and did a strip search. "FREAKS!" they yelled, trying to get their clothes back on, and ran away. SOF: Wow, RRR much? Funny, since jjs also created RRR, but oh well. [Jjs: OFF-TOPIC POLICE! Apparently stripping someone automatically reminds you of RRR.] [Trophy: I do not remember reading that part at all.] [Metal Snake: An intentional self-reference just isn’t the same without...wait...THAT’S NOT A REFERENCE TO RRR at all! RRR was about a traveling rape train, not a traveling strip club!] SOF *narrates*: So they were searching for clues to find who stole ACS’s wang but they think the waiter is behind it. Well they’re wrong, and they end up going to jail for attacking the waiter. Then guess what happens.. [Jjs: Why? You already spoiled the ending for us above.] [Metal Snake: Hooray for no details, how did they attack the waiter? Did they beat him up? Did they try to kill him? Did they threaten to harm his favorite stuffed animal?] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] We then see the missing wang pop out of ACS' shirt. The 3 then glared at him. "Oh yeah...I was about to eat it, and it fell down my shirt, and then I forgot.." ACS said, innocently. [Trophy: But mama, it was an accident. *still gets punished*] The 3 other members of the troop then began to beat ACS, and the scene fades away. SOF: I told ya so. [Jjs: You definitely did, and spoiled the entire episode for many viewers.] [Metal Snake: You told us that it had been eaten. I think we can all see that it did a great job getting eaten inside ACS’ shirt.] SOF *narrates* The troopers went on the case again (or not) as they were going to the museum to investigate into a crime about a stolen jewel. [Jjs: "or not"? SOF, did they or didn't they? We need to know!] [Trophy: FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN!] [Metal Snake: They really like to get into those clues. Hope they don’t investigate into any traps though.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "THE GEM IS GONE!" ACS exclaimed, referring to an empty and shattered glass case. "Well, no shit Sherlock Homes 2: A Game of Shadows," Woahwoah said. "Which reminds me, the 2 Sherlock Holmes films are BRILLIANT! The camera view is spot on! 10/10 for both!" "WHAT?!" ACS yelled. "Guys, cool it. Now let's see, it seems like it was smashed with a hammer," Nathan said, investigating. "a hummer!" sponge_bob said. "A cummer!" Nathan joked. [Metal Snake: A solid gold Cumvee!] SOF: Um..what did he say? *confused* [Jjs: He said a cummer? *confused*] [Trophy: GRAMMER POLICE, IT ISNT EVEN A WORD!] So you think it’s a cummer...okay then, moving on. [Jjs: Funny, SOF is trying to nitpick my jokes? IRONY POLICE!] [Metal Snake: You can’t be serious...it says right there in black and white “Nathan joked”, not “Nathan said seriously”! Good goodnesses, someone had an easy time irritating their teacher in Reading Comprehension.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] We set a trap, Scooby-Doo style!" Woahwoah said. At night, the gang had set a trap up. "Now we need to set the bait," Nathan said. "Here, I'll use my leftover lollipop, and pretend it is a ruby with its red color," Woahwoah said, putting it in place. SOF: Been there done that, USMI already did it. [Jjs: Here we go again with the abbreviations and off-topic comments. Also, Undersea Mysteries Incorporated never had an episode where they used a lollipop as a ruby...Critical Research Failure again. Man, I need to do a stats at the end of this episode to see how much flaws I've counted...] [Metal Snake: They’re setting up a trap and that automatically means jjs is ripping off his own show that involves traps being used here, there, and jizz in the clock? As long as it’s not completely copied and pasted (HINT! YOUR SO-CALLED SUMMARIES) from USMI, who gives a shit? You’d also be surprised at how often writers like to make subtle references and tie-ins to elements of their other works. It can actually be witty writing, believe it or not.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] AH HA! WE CAUGHT YOU!!!" ACS yelled. "You're...?" Nathan asked. "I'm Captain52, famed troll from TV.com," Captain said. "Why did you rob the museum?" Nathan asked. [Trophy: FOR WAFFLES!] "I'm broke bitches, and I need some moolah from this gem!" Captain said, pulling it out. "Another successful case solved by the Noob Troop!" Woahwoah said. SOF *narrates*: Captain52/Nightmare_Fan17 is behind it all along until the cops arrested the Noob Troop, leaving NF to escape with a lie. Stupid cops! [Jjs: Don't call the cops stupid. They have every right to be alerted on your Bias/Off-Topic/Irony.] [Metal Snake: BECAUSE OF A LIE!] Oh boy, I wonder what the next episode is.. [Jjs: Well, it's not like you have a guide in front of you.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "WHAT HAPPENED TO SPONGE_BOB?!?" ACS panicked. "idk," sponge_bob/sandy_cheeks replied. "Isn't that sponge_bob?" Woahwoah said. "And no, this won't be a twist like the end of The Sixth Sense." "yea," sponge_bob/sandy_cheeks said. "But why did you say idk?" Nathan asked. "im not sb," sandy_cheeks/sponge_bob said. "But you just said....nevermind..." Woahwoah said. "OKAY, ENOUGH! I KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET SOME BABES! THE PARK!" ACS said, and the four raced out. SOF: Wow, is it just me [Metal Snake: Please, no no no. Please do not finish that sentence. It is not just you. It’s not you at all. It’s me. It’s all me. It’s all my fault. I’m the entire reason it’s not working out, just please DO NOT...] or is sponge_bob very oblivious? [Jjs: ] [Metal Snake: UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THAT. IS. THE. FORM. OF. COMEDY. KNOWN. AS. A. JOKE. THE. REASON. IT. IS. FUNNY. WHAT. IS. DIFFICULT. TO. UNDERSTAND. ABOUT. THIS?! UGH. UUUGGGHHH!] SOF *narrates*: So they went to the park as we meet The Noobette Troop. The girls were chatting about getting boyfriends, just like the boys. [Metal Snake: Wow, that’s interesting. “HIIIII GIRLS! Seen any interesting geese around this park? Oh fudge, we forgot to fix our nails before we left!”] I sense this next part will be very talkative. [Jjs: Is very talkative good or bad for you, SOF? I can't tell due to your monotone reviewing style.] [Metal Snake: So yeah, I had to leave this next part of the story. IT JUST WOULDN’T SHUT UP!] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Sup?" Nathan asked. "My name is Nathan, I'm 16, I didn't know what a condom was until I was 14, and these are my friends." "Cool story bro," Raya16 said. "We're The Noobette Troop," MadameCat said. "And you?" "lol sounds like us," sponge_bob/sandy_cheeks said. "Is his name sandy_cheeks, or sponge_bob?" Cherrys asked. [Trophy: jjs, I know you wrote that, but it's kinda obvious that there's an ILLEGAL 4TH WALL BREAKING! 4TH WALL POLICE, TAKE HIM AWAY! ] [Jjs: Oh dangit, now SOF will call my butt on the Irony Police!] "sponge_boobies," sponge_bob said, touching MadameCat's breasts. [Jjs: Watch SOF not complain about how dirty this is because I wrote it. Calling it right now. You all owe me $100 if I am right.] [Trophy: I'm only paying 100 doubloons.] "GET OFF!" MadameCat said. "My melons must not be vandalized." "But we want boyfriends," Raya16 said, whispering to MadameCat. "They look just like us." "Do you guys wanna go on a date?" Nathan asked. "SURE SEXY!" Spongygirl20x said. SOF: Once again, what just happened? [Jjs: Why do you need to ask us what just happened when we can read it for ourselves? Also, I called SOF not complaining. Pay up the $100 Trophy and MS. Also, Bias Police are on the way!] [Metal Snake: Eh, nothing much. Just some lady getting overly protective of her fruit stand or something. Doesn’t want some dick coming over and knocking it down. ...I’ll pay up anyways.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] WHO WANTS TO FEEL MY BREASTS?!" Spongygirl20x said. "ME!" ACS yelled. "SHE'S MINE!" Nathan said, as he got onto some chest action. The 4 girls ripped their tops off, and MadameCat's breasts were the biggest. [Jjs: Even I have to admit maybe I went over the top with this one...but I bet SOF wouldn't think so. *xat smirk smiley*] [Trophy: ] "sweet mama!" sponge_bob said, as he squeezed them. "Uh..." a waiter said. SOF: Johnny Bravo did that before but he failed. *laughs* [Jjs: How does Johnny Bravo even relate to this in any way? *laughs*] [Metal Snake: He tried to squeeze a girl’s cantaloupes? Wow, no wonder CN stopped showing that show.] Did you know that Johnny Bravo actually has his own movie from CN? It’s true, it aired in Europe. [Jjs: *calls Off-Topic police* Wee woo wee woo!] [Trophy: OH NO WE ALMOST FORGOT TO PUT THAT VIDEO IN! ] [Metal Snake: No way, did his movie have something to do with this show? No? Then this reference is...IRRELEVANT.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "Them BOYS SEXY!" Spongygirl20x said. "Yeah, felt good to spread mah boobs," Raya16 said. "Next time, they take their tops off!" Cherrys said, and the others laughed. SOF: That was the weirdest ep I’ve ever read…but lulzy. [Jjs: So it was the weirdest ep you've ever seen, but it wasn't because it was lulzy? SOF's sense is still intact I see.] [Metal Snake: Lulziness always wins it for past SOF. The only thing better to him than good humor is lulzy good humor.] Seriously, it is a good lit though. [Jjs: It is? I couldn't tell due to your monotone reviewing.] [Metal Snake: Isn’t it great to be good? Especially when you have no virtues to describe your goodness to others?] It has good character development, good writing, and of course the length is very reasonable too. [Jjs: I think this is honestly the only review SOF put into the entire episode. Wow.] Not much to say. [Jjs: I can tell, which makes me think this was definitely an ass-kiss to Clappy and I.] Well, that’s it for Noob Troop. [Jjs: It is? I wouldn't have guessed considering your end review at the end of each episode.] This is SOF, signing off! [Jjs: And hopefully Tommy Wisaeu and you have a fun day. Ugh, this was painful to read through. Seriously, this had to be my least favorite episode so far, possibly topping the Tvguy episodes. I mean, first of all, is it just me, or did it seem like SOF hated the show at first? He kept making an idiotic comments like he did with the tvguy ones, so I had every right to assume. Then he likes it at the end? Lulz. I bet Clappy is rolling over in his grave over this review. The episode was also just filled with boring summarizing, off-topic comments, which is the worst thing you could possibly do in a review, more monotone themes to lead us to believe this is The Room, and of course, the traditional lame jokes. Thanks for the help guys, and the next one is another show of mine. Oh boy. Also, here's some statistics I did of the episode: Cue Scenes: 22 No Shit Sherlocks: 5 Bias Police: 2 Off-Topic Police: 8 Irony Police: 3 Critical Research Failure: 2 Amount of Brain Cells Lost: A lot Oh, SOF.] [Trophy: *Destroys SECC forever.* Good riddance *spits*] [Metal Snake: Have a good day! I hope you have one that’s better than mine because it was ruined by this incredibly senseless review (SUMMARY)! Past SOF...when you review...it’s a basic requirement...to UNDERSTAND the material you are reviewing before you “criticize”, let alone “praise”. Otherwise, you end up with...this. Thanks again for letting me commentate with you jjs, looking forward to riffing the second worst episode of the series...one that did not even call itself a review...] Edited October 18, 2016 by Hungry Larry 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Metal Snake: Please, no no no. Please do not finish that sentence. It is not just you. It’s not you at all. It’s me. It’s all me. It’s all my fault. I’m the entire reason it’s not working out, just please DO NOT...] or is sponge_bob very oblivious? [Jjs: ] [Metal Snake: UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THAT. IS. THE. FORM. OF. COMEDY. KNOWN. AS. A. JOKE. THE. REASON. IT. IS. FUNNY. WHAT. IS. DIFFICULT. TO. UNDERSTAND. ABOUT. THIS?! UGH. UUUGGGHHH!] SOF *narrates*: So they went to the park as we meet The Noobette Troop. The girls were chatting about getting boyfriends, just like the boys. [Metal Snake: Wow, that’s interesting. “HIIIII GIRLS! Seen any interesting geese around this park? Oh fudge, we forgot to fix our nails before we left!”] I sense this next part will be very talkative. [Jjs: Is very talkative good or bad for you, SOF? I can't tell due to your monotone reviewing style.] [Metal Snake: So yeah, I had to leave this next part of the story. IT JUST WOULDN’T SHUT UP!] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] Sup?" Nathan asked. "My name is Nathan, I'm 16, I didn't know what a condom was until I was 14, and these are my friends." "Cool story bro," Raya16 said. "We're The Noobette Troop," MadameCat said. "And you?" "lol sounds like us," sponge_bob/sandy_cheeks said. "Is his name sandy_cheeks, or sponge_bob?" Cherrys asked. [Trophy: jjs, I know you wrote that, but it's kinda obvious that there's an ILLEGAL 4TH WALL BREAKING! 4TH WALL POLICE, TAKE HIM AWAY! ] [Jjs: Oh dangit, now SOF will call my butt on the Irony Police!] "sponge_boobies," sponge_bob said, touching MadameCat's breasts. [Jjs: Watch SOF not complain about how dirty this is because I wrote it. Calling it right now. You all owe me $100 if I am right.] [Trophy: I'm only paying 100 doubloons.] "GET OFF!" MadameCat said. "My melons must not be vandalized." "But we want boyfriends," Raya16 said, whispering to MadameCat. "They look just like us." "Do you guys wanna go on a date?" Nathan asked. "SURE SEXY!" Spongygirl20x said. SOF: Once again, what just happened? [Jjs: Why do you need to ask us what just happened when we can read it for ourselves? Also, I called SOF not complaining. Pay up the $100 Trophy and MS. Also, Bias Police are on the way!] [Metal Snake: Eh, nothing much. Just some lady getting overly protective of her fruit stand or something. Doesn’t want some dick coming over and knocking it down. ...I’ll pay up anyways.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] WHO WANTS TO FEEL MY BREASTS?!" Spongygirl20x said. "ME!" ACS yelled. "SHE'S MINE!" Nathan said, as he got onto some chest action. The 4 girls ripped their tops off, and MadameCat's breasts were the biggest. [Jjs: Even I have to admit maybe I went over the top with this one...but I bet SOF wouldn't think so. *xat smirk smiley*] [Trophy: ] "sweet mama!" sponge_bob said, as he squeezed them. "Uh..." a waiter said. SOF: Johnny Bravo did that before but he failed. *laughs* [Jjs: How does Johnny Bravo even relate to this in any way? *laughs*] [Metal Snake: He tried to squeeze a girl’s cantaloupes? Wow, no wonder CN stopped showing that show.] Did you know that Johnny Bravo actually has his own movie from CN? It’s true, it aired in Europe. [Jjs: *calls Off-Topic police* Wee woo wee woo!] [Trophy: OH NO WE ALMOST FORGOT TO PUT THAT VIDEO IN! ] [Metal Snake: No way, did his movie have something to do with this show? No? Then this reference is...IRRELEVANT.] *cue scene* [Jjs: ] "Them BOYS SEXY!" Spongygirl20x said. "Yeah, felt good to spread mah boobs," Raya16 said. "Next time, they take their tops off!" Cherrys said, and the others laughed. SOF: That was the weirdest ep I’ve ever read…but lulzy. [Jjs: So it was the weirdest ep you've ever seen, but it wasn't because it was lulzy? SOF's sense is still intact I see.] [Metal Snake: Lulziness always wins it for past SOF. The only thing better to him than good humor is lulzy good humor.] Seriously, it is a good lit though. [Jjs: It is? I couldn't tell due to your monotone reviewing.] [Metal Snake: Isn’t it great to be good? Especially when you have no virtues to describe your goodness to others?] It has good character development, good writing, and of course the length is very reasonable too. [Jjs: I think this is honestly the only review SOF put into the entire episode. Wow.] Not much to say. [Jjs: I can tell, which makes me think this was definitely an ass-kiss to Clappy and I.] Well, that’s it for Noob Troop. [Jjs: It is? I wouldn't have guessed considering your end review at the end of each episode.] This is SOF, signing off! [Jjs: And hopefully Tommy Wisaeu and you have a fun day. Ugh, this was painful to read through. Seriously, this had to be my least favorite episode so far, possibly topping the Tvguy episodes. I mean, first of all, is it just me, or did it seem like SOF hated the show at first? He kept making an idiotic comments like he did with the tvguy ones, so I had every right to assume. Then he likes it at the end? Lulz. I bet Clappy is rolling over in his grave over this review. The episode was also just filled with boring summarizing, off-topic comments, which is the worst thing you could possibly do in a review, more monotone themes to lead us to believe this is The Room, and of course, the traditional lame jokes. Thanks for the help guys, and the next one is another show of mine. Oh boy. Also, here's some statistics I did of the episode: Cue Scenes: 22 No Shit Sherlocks: 5 Bias Police: 2 Off-Topic Police: 8 Irony Police: 3 Critical Research Failure: 2 Amount of Brain Cells Lost: A lot Oh, SOF.] [Trophy: *Destroys SECC forever.* Good riddance *spits*] [Metal Snake: Have a good day! I hope you have one that’s better than mine because it was ruined by this incredibly senseless review (SUMMARY)! Past SOF...when you review...it’s a basic requirement...to UNDERSTAND the material you are reviewing before you “criticize”, let alone “praise”. Otherwise, you end up with...this. Thanks again for letting me commentate with you jjs, looking forward to riffing the second worst episode of the series...one that did not even call itself a review...]
So Sejima Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I couldn't stop laughing there. Oh I'll be glad to be back in riffing whenever you need me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Amazing commentary, and loved the epilogue you put in. You and Clappy really spoiled me in that one too. XP 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Thanks again jjs. This was a good one and I can't wait for the next three. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 SOF's Exciting Critic Corner 1. SBC Parallel Universe 2. Eelz 3. Underwater Survivor: SBC Style 4. Robot Trout 5. SBCinema 6. Spin-Off Action: Reboot 7. SBC Therapy 8. SBC Mafia 9. Down Under 10. Noob Troop 11. Storm Racers Spoiler [Jjs: Welcome CNF and SOF, you know the drill. So SOF's reviewing my show, eh? Unfortunately, I'm more scared than excited.] [sOF: Glad to be here, jjs. Now let's see if I can tear my old self apart.] [CNF: SOF is here to rip apart his own show! ] SOF: Hello and welcome to today’s episode where I take on Storm Racers. [Jjs: "I take on Storm Racers"? Why are you battling my show, SOF? Is it time to....DUEL?] [CNF: YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGIOH!] [sOF: No, it's time to riff this "review".] This spin-off is created by jjs [sOF: Really, you don't say? I wouldn't have guessed!] [Jjs: No way, I thought ssj made it.] [CNF: It is? Gee thanks SOF, I really wouldn't have figured that one out!] who also wrote another show known as Mermaid Man: The Brave and The Bold. [Jjs: That wasn't the only other show I wrote, but apparently the others aren't worthy of being noted.] [sOF: Past SOF, how could you not include the other shows Jjs made? Mermaid Man: The Brave and The Bold isn't his only noteworthy show. I'm ashamed of you!] [CNF:...I got nothing. *shoots*] Storm Racers is one of my favorite spin-off series since it interested me. [Jjs: The only reason he liked my show was for interest!] [CNF: Bullshit. The only reason you like it is because you adore jjs' shows.] Let's see how it goes: [Jjs: No, let's not see how it goes...no...no...NO! STOP!] [sOF: GOD PLEASE NO, DON'T LET ME SEE HOW IT GOES!] [CNF: GET ME OUT OF HERE!] SOF *narrates*: We are introduced to 5 friends in Bikini Bottom. Their names are Nora, Nathan, Dash, Zelleo, and Laneld. [sOF: AHHHHHH!] [Jjs: Well at least you have some decency to tell the character names this time.] [CNF: Alrighty then.] They were eating their meals at the Krusty Krab but suddenly, a meteorite crashed near the Chum Bucket. [Jjs: It wasn't a meteor that crashed nearby, it was a space craft. However, in all fairness, I did originally say "meteorite" and then changed it space craft, but I honestly forgot when. So this riff may or may not be fair.] [CNF: A meteorite had sex with a space craft and during climax they crashed into a bucket.] *cue scene* "My name is Darsun. I came from an ancient civilization known as Blue Sentients. We were an ancient race of aliens that lived on a water planet. But...our entire civilization was wiped out.." [Jjs: Just for the record guys, A LOT of this stuff in it is terribly outdated, as I have revised Storm Racers a lot. Therefore, I can't beat up SOF too much here, so I'll let him off the hook...for now.] [sOF: Don't worry Jjs, we can find a way to beat this one.] "So...are you done with with this bunch of nonsense, because I have better things to do," said Laneld. [Jjs: So do we. We could be out partying instead of riffing this horrible critic corner.] [CNF: I have no life. ] "I can assure you this is all real," she said. [Jjs: Unfortunately so, referring to the critic corner that is.] [CNF: I wouldn't believe some random dude who just magically crash landed on a bucket either.] "Okay, this is just odd. A rock crashes to the earth and you come out and say all of this nonsense," said Dash. "Guys, hold on...remember that physic wave she launched at us?" Nathan said. "Maybe she could be alien." [Jjs: Nah, I think she's a vampire.] [sOF: Or she's a werewolf....wait, now we're going into Bikini Top territory.] [CNF: Alright Wumbo, I gotta use this: Look Jane. Tarzan write spin-off.] SOF *narrates*: So Darsun gave them the power of the Undersea Force and they went to their base. The gang does their first drill as we come to the 2nd part of this episode. We see Plankton has completed building the robots he found somewhere. [Jjs: Alright, I can do this. I can stick through this summarizing, and being forced to read the mediocre old Storm Racers...] [sOF: You can do it, Jjs. You can survive another horrible "review" if you survived the other ten...hopefully...] [CNF: Sadly the drill was sex education and could not be shown on this family summarizing show.] *cue scene* [CNF: I'd rather not kthxbai.] "How may I serve you, my lord?" he asked. [Jjs: First destroy that terrible Summarizing Critic.] [CNF: Then make everybody eat dirt!] Its name was Cymtrax. Crymtrax had blue eyes, a steel head and was more unique than any other robot. "I also have henchmen for you too, lovely robot!" said Plankton as he revealed an army of about 1,000 robots hidden in an underground bunker beneath the Chum Bucket. "And why was I never told about any of this, Plankton?" asked Karen. "I had been secretly working on these for a few months. They will not only invade the Krusty Krab, but the whole ocean!" said Plankton. SOF *narrates*: So the robots destroyed the Chum Bucket and they headed to cause trouble in Bikini Bottom. Meanwhile, Darsun begins to explain the story. [Jjs *narrates*: So uh, how's the weather?] [sOF *narrates*: I like putting *narrates* a lot, eh?] [CNF: Apparently the destruction of the Chum Bucket wasn't important enough to be pasted. A shame, I wanted to see it blow up!] *cue scene* "An ancient prophecy on my planet before the civilization stated that one day, 5 young teens would become a part of the Undersea Force. A female of passion (Nora), a noble leader (Nathan), a stubborn but cooperative member (Laneld), a member with speed and intelligence (Dash) and one with strength (Zelleo). Together, the 5 formed the Undersea Force. They were took down once my civilization collapsed though.." "Holy smokes, this is interesting. So, we are all chosen ones?" said Nathan. "I guess so. You 5 resembled them in an image in my mind," she said. "My question is: What planet did you come from?" asked Nora. "The planet is a barren wasteland now, but it was called Sentato. It was peaceful until two powerful groups took over, one of which is destroyed now," Darsun explained. SOF: Hmm, I guess it sounds like a cool planet. [Jjs: A barren wasteland sounds like a cool planet to you? Okay then SOF.] [sOF: If that is the logic of Past SOF, I guess a planet filled with garbage would be awesome.] [CNF: Sounds like THE INDUSTRIAL PARK!] *cue scene* [Jjs: I feel tempted to count these again, but not with Steel's image ticker.][sOF: Here we go again with the *cue scene* flood. It's like Past SOF threw them in for length.] "Go away non-robo scum.." said a voice. "What the?" asked Nora. Just then, a Rark hopped down and transformed into his robot boat. "Robots that can talk and transform into boats? Now I've seen everything!" said Nathan. "Move in!" [CNF: Transformers! More than meets the eye!] Laneld fired a purple sound blast from sides of the front of his boat. "Awesome!" he said as it destroyed the robot into 1,000 pieces. SOF *narrates*: The robots appeared as the team was ready for their first battle and it seems the robot gang calls themselves the Rark. [Jjs: ...Why not just call them the Rark to begin with instead of "robots"? Redundancy already in sight!] After that, Nathan and his friends reported to Darsun about them. [Jjs: So apparently the Rark's names went from "robots", to "Rark", and now to "them".] *cue scene* So...there was a robot gang named The Rark?" asked Darsun. [Jjs: No, according to SOF it's "them" now.] "It seems so. They had this big commander guy with drill like fins," said Nathan. "Hmm...I will do a full investigation. I have been sensing mysterious things going around the ocean lately. Get some good night sleep, because I will introduce something out of this world, as I would say, tomorrow..." she said. "Also, great work." [CNF: By something out of this world, it better not mean this summarizing corner.] "Can't wait!" said Dash. [Jjs: ...for this summary to end!] [CNF: Yay!] SOF *narrates*: The next ep is where Darsun explains to them about Universe Keys and Zones. [Jjs: "The next ep"? You can't even name it? Is it really that hard to say "Episode 3, One Way Back"?] [CNF: In SOF's world it is.] [sOF: "Next Ep" is easier for Past SOF to say, it obviously won't confuse people.] *cue scene* [CNF: Dear lord make it stop.] "What is this you are all wondering? It is a Universe Key!" "What?" they all asked. "There are types of universes around us, which I call Zones. This is a key that each contains at the end, or hidden somewhere in it." "It's all interesting, but what does it unlock? The freedom of your civilization?" asked Dash. [CNF: Nope, it unlocks my porn safe.] "No, but good guess. I am collecting them." [CNF: Try VHS collecting bub.] She then opened up a huge tube with slots. She put the one she showed them in a slot. "Whoa!" said Nathan. [CNF: This isn't my Batman cup!] "So, are these zones dangerous?" asked Zelleo. "Some, but I will try to unlock an easy one for beginners," she said. SOF *narrates*: A portal appears in Bikini Bottom, and they head into it for their first zone challenge, in a Mountain Zone. [Jjs: Hey Recap Critic, you're missing some details already. The Undersea Force got their vehicles, you do know that, right?] [sOF: DETAILS MAN, YOU'RE MISSING THE DETAILS!] [CNF: I'm beginning to wonder if he skim read these.] *cue scene* "I will not fail Lord Argoron!" said the crab. He jumped down on his boat and attacked with spears. [Jjs: So apparently SOF decided to skip them actually getting the key from the zone. I wouldn't be surprised if CNF is already having a difficult time understanding this, since I know he is interested in reading SR one day.] [sOF: Shame on my past self, now I probably scared CNF away from it!] [CNF: Hell yeah, I've only got the basic premise at this point.] "What the?" said Laneld as he dodged the spear and shot a wave. "Gwah!" said the crab. "Who are you?" asked Nathan. [CNF: This is Patrick.] "Who are you, is what I should be asking! [CNF: THIS IS PATRICK!] You won't get the Universe Key!" said the crab. Dash flew down and sliced open his boat. "Gwaaahhaa!" he said as his boat began to smash into a mountain. He quickly escaped away. SOF: Uh oh, we got company folks. [sOF: Oh yes we do, the cops are still tracking you boy!] [CNF: wee woo wee woo wee woo.] [Jjs: We do? Because Natcher is escaping...unless he's going to your Critic Corner Studio to beat you up.] *cue scene* "Get back here! Why did you attack us?!" yelled Nathan as he opened up his motor with the saw. [CNF: MUST CHOP WOOOOOOOOOD!] He began to chase him down. As he sliced the back of his boat, the crab escaped through a vortex like the one the crew entered in. Before Nathan could jump in, it vanished. [CNF: For some reason this show reminds me of Dimension Hopper Pants.] "Did he want the universe key too?" asked Zelleo, as he cleared up the area of sand. Just them, we see a brown Universe Key in the mountain the crab smashed into! "Grab it!" said Nora. Nathan made a shock pulse appear and grab it into his boat. "We got it!" [Jjs: Sadly SOF doesn't.] SOF *narrates*: So the gang got the Universe Key as they headed back to base. We come to the next ep where we met the Vandalators. [Jjs: Well I gotta give SOF some credit, at least he isn't skipping episodes. Unfortunately, the episode being a pasting party again doesn't help much.] [CNF: I don't know how much I can take of this.] *cue scene* "Alright, look: Only 1 of us is getting this Zone's key, got that? And it'll be us!" said Argoron. "But there is 3 of you and 5 of us!" said Zelleo. [Jjs: And me makes 10!] [CNF:...I think.] [sOF: No, there's 24 of them. But want to know what's better than 24? 25!] "There are no strengths in greater numbers," said Crink. "Correct, Crink!" said Argoron. His boat represented a steel shark. He launched harpoons at their boats. Zelleo's giant boat slammed into the 3's boats, causing the Steel bridge to start to shake. [CNF: So...who's who again?] "You idiot, you've doomed us all!" yelled Argoron. [CNF: Sorry SOF already did that.] SOF *narrates*: So the Undersea Force tried to find the key but luckily they already found it, [Jjs: "They tried to find the key, but they already found it"? Hooray for redundancy. Oh SOF, you are just further proving Wumbo's point about being Tommy Wiseau in disguise.] [CNF: Damn where's that key, oh wait.] [sOF: Where's the Redundancy Department when you need them?] [Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with Past SOF in that cheap studio which is a cheap studio somewhere in Canada in a town on a block in a street.] [sOF: Well damn, we sure got them alright.] so they defeated the Vandalators. [Jjs: So after trying to find a key despite already finding it, they defeat the Vandalators. Recap Critic, may I ask how? Did the Undersea Force show the Vandalators this "review" of this show?] [sOF: JUST EXPLAAAAIIIIN!] The team headed back to their base to give the key to Darsun. [Jjs: And you never told us how they got the key either. HOORAY FOR INCOHERENT SUMMARIZING!] [sOF *narrates*: Past SOF sure has a fetish for incoherent summarizing.] *cue scene* "I know the Vandalators wouldn't stop. They still hop Zones to this day. She put the key with the other 2. "Another exciting day!" she said. "You guys should deserve a reward soon." SOF *narrates*: We jump to ep 12 as we see them try to get the key of the zone. [sOF: I hope for his sake he didn't skip anything important in those seven episodes.] [Jjs: Come on Past SOF, YOU CAN'T SKIP EPISODES IN A PLOT SHOW LIKE STORM RACERS! Yes, there may be filler, but coming from the creator himself, you did skip some important episodes! You skipped the characters' vehicles getting named, the Rark getting upgraded, and he even skipped the introduction a new character to the Vandalator's team! That's going to cause massive plot holes when we get to them...] [CNF: I'm just glad we're going to get this done faster...] *cue scene* "Alright, let's get that key an get out of this place!" Nathan yelled. "I'll get it before you this time, organics!" Cymtrax yelled as his Rark 2.0 army stormed the zone. [Jjs: I like how SOF didn't paste the parts that told us the name of the zone, so we basically have no idea where this is happening.] "Watch out guys, remember how badly they beat us last time!" Nathan yelled as he chopped some in half. [storm Racers Fan: What the heck? The Rark 2.0? Defeated the Undersea Force last time? When!? What's going on here?!] [CNF: That fan would probably be me at this point.] [Jjs: Unfortunately SOF decided to skip the episode where they debuted. More incoherent summarizing at its finest.] [sOF: Poor potential SR fans, I feel bad for ones like him who are confused as hell by this summary.] SOF *narrates*: Nathan and his friends tried to get the key but unfortunately, the Rark used their tricks to grab the key and kidnapped Zelleo. [Jjs: What "tricks"? Magic tricks? Did they distract the Undersea Force with a "pull a rabbit out of the hat" gag and then kidnap Zelleo?] [sOF: They magically kidnapped Zelleo with a "disappearing act".] The robots escaped leaving the Undersea Force to fail the mission. However, Darsun has an idea to make a key to Senato, as she has the coordinates for it. *cue scene* "Dang....it's a shame how this place turned into a barren wasteland," Nora said, looking at the ruins. "I know, but we have to rescue Zelleo," Nathan said. SOF *narrates*: We see Cymtrax asked Zelleo to play a game [Jjs: What game? A game of "Let's Ask Each Other When The Hell This Review Will Start Making Sense"?] [sOF: No jjs, he's playing the "Criticize The Critic!" game.] [CNF: >Rescue Zelleo >asked Zelleo to play a game God dammit I'm so lost WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?] but it turns out he is controlling a Rark to attack the Undersea Force. [sOF: ...Never mind.] [Jjs: Oh, okay. Didn't know a game of LAEOWTHTRWSMS would result into that.] *cue scene* "Oh my...." Nora said in panic. [CNF: Here's Johnny!] It fired a laser across the field, destroying some old ruins, and knocking Dash out of the air. SOF *narrates*: We come to the next ep [Jjs: Oh for the love of...you just ended 12 on a cliffhanger, with no resolution! What the hell kind of reviewing is this?] [sOF: Yeah, ending 12 on a cliffhanger definitely won't confuse fans. Let's pretend it never happened! That seems to be Past SOF's answer to most of these things, "pretend they never happen"!] where the team is being ambushed by a laser ball in a zone, but someone blasts an electro ball at it, destroying it. We are introduced to a new recruit. [Jjs: [CNF: Jjs was so mortified by that scene that he forgot to riff it!] [Jjs: Sorry, I zoned out there CNF. Let's see...joke to make, nah, I'm good for now.] *cue scene* "Well, I don't know about that partner. You might be one of them Rarks," said the fish. [CNF: YEHAAAAAAAAAA!] "So, you're against them too? We're the Undersea Force," Nathan said. "And you are?" "Name's Kane," Kane replied. "Kane Boltmen. Been fighting these guys for a while." SOF *narrates*: So we see the Undersea Force and Kane go to take down a Rark tower. [Jjs: Rark tower? Why are they taking it down? Why did Kane team up with them? Once again..."JUST....EX....PLAAAAAAIN!"] *cue scene* "Alright, never saw those before," Nathan said. [Jjs: Heh, funny. We've never seen a quarter of the things SOF is babbling about before either.] [sOF: Words of wisdom by Nathan.] "Those be Rark Scouters. They are one-eyed flying machines with blue eyes that they use to scout a Zone or area," Kane said. "Easy to take down though, just watch!" Kane then drove up quickly, and fired electro balls at the scouters, causing them to implode. SOF *narrates*: So the gang attacked some Rark while Cymtrax and Krumb plan to escape the tower which is being destroyed. The heroes went back to base, and Kane becomes an official member. We come to the next episode where the team goes to the next zone which is the Canyon Zone. [CNF: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.] *cue scene* "Now, let's find that key and move out! We may be have 1 member sitting back, but that won't stop us now!" Nathan said. Just then, the Vandalators appeared. "Stop right there! The key is ours!" Argoron yelled. Crink, Natcher and Straus all attacked. [storm Racers Fan: Wait a minute....WHO THE HELL IS STRAUS?!] [CNF: I don't know who half the characters in this show are.] [Jjs: Good question. You see, SOF skipped Straus's debut episode (Episode 11, Treasure Hunt), so we technically have no idea who he is. Nice job, SOF.] "Hmm...I see the sub-species have a new member," Natcher said, pointing to Kane. [Jjs: Funny, SOF tells us the Undersea Force got Kane, but not that the Vandalators got Straus. Poor Straus.] [straus: I feel insulted that moron cannot even summarize me into his review. Don't worry, he'll be next on my target list.] [CNF: No, fuck you whoever you are, SOF's my kill!][sOF: Don't worry Straus, we'll take down that vile fiend!] SOF *narrates*: We see Arogron [Jjs: Arogron? Is he Argoron's brother? SOF's summarizing in this is officially the most incoherent thing in history.] [sOF: Where do we see him from? A birds eye view? I'm afraid of heights, Past SOF!] [CNF: I see London, I see France, I see SOF's underpants.] and the others were going to get the key but Argoron has a trick planned. [Jjs: Oh goodie, another magic trick!] [sOF: Is it another disappearing act?] He shoots a net at Nathan, and he snags the key as the Vandalators escape into a portal to Senato. [Jjs: Hey, that's not a magic trick. SOF, stop lying!] *cue scene* "Nathan!" Zelleo yelled. It was too late, the portal closed. "Great, we lost our leader!" Nora said, pounding her radar. "Do not worry everyone, remember the key I made for Senato?" Darsun said, on screen. "Oh yeah, but will Nathan be okay?" Nora asked. "I hope so..." Darsun said, slightly worried. SOF *narrates*: So Nathan was tied to a pole while Argoron lit a fire to it, putting him in danger. [Jjs: Tied to a pole where on Senato? Is he on a stripper pole? DETAILS, MAN!] However, in the end, Darsun and the others managed to rescue him using the Vobi. [CNF: The fuck's a Vobi?][Jjs: A vehicle that debuted in Episode 10, known as the Vobias Communication Center (aka the Vobi), but apparently SOF didn't think it was important enough to be recapped.] *cue scene* "Thanks guys, we truly are one great team." Nathan said. "I also got the key!" "Great!" Zelleo said. "How many keys do we even have now?" Laneld asked. "About 12 or so," Darsun replied happily. SOF *narrates*: We jump to ep 18 where the Undersea Force were at the Junkyard Zone to get the next key. [Jjs: Skipping three episodes, huh. Too bad Episode 16 had something REALLY important in it...tsk tsk, more plot holes await, folks!] [CNF: Joy. It's like SOF WANTS me to be confused by this.] [sOF: Yup, sorry CNF. I bet any new SR fans are probably as lost as a kid in the mall by this point.] *cue scene* "Let's get that key and lock down this zone!" Nathan commanded. Just then, we hear a large roaring sound. "Uh...was that a scrapyard gremlin?" Laneld asked, scared. [CNF: *insert Gremlins poster here because my internet sucks*] "Oh please, there is no such thing as a gremlin," Zelleo said. [CNF: I beg to differ.] "But I am getting alien-like activity," Kane said. "If that is the case, get your guard up everyone," Nathan said to Laneld, Zelleo, Kane and Dash. SOF *narrates*: It appears there was a Guard Wolf which is guarding the Zone, and then the Vandalators show up. [Jjs: You can't even show us a scene of the Guard Wolf? Another neglected character, shame on you SOF. Someone please donate some change to the "Save a Character Foundation", which will help SOF stop neglecting characters from this show.] [sOF: Daffy Duck: Where's the scenery, mack? It needs scenery!] [Guard Wolf: ;(] [CNF: It's okay Guard Wolf. Just let it all out.] *cue scene* "Hey...I had an idea. Let's follow it, it could lead us to the key!" Dash said. "But we have to be stealthy," Nathan said. The others agreed, and they all closely followed the wolf. SOF *narrates*: Argoron's vehicle gets attacked by the Guard Wolf, [Jjs: Stop.] but the Undersea Force and Vandals agree to team-up [Jjs: STOP.] [CNF: POTS.] to escape the Guard Wolf. [Jjs: STOP!!! For fuck's sake SOF, this is getting more and more incoherent. How did Argoron's vehicle get near the Guard Wolf to begin with? How did both teams get to the Guard Wolf again? Seriously SOF, you keep skipping so many details from these episodes it's not even funny.] [sOF: It's like SOF pressed a "Speed Up" button or something just to get through with this.] *cue scene* "Alright, let's get that key and move out! I don't think it will hold him much longer!" Nathan said, as he snagged the key and escaped the warehouse. [storm Racers Fan: "I don't think it will hold him much longer"? What is holding who? What warehouse? Jjs, please help me, my brain is about to be fried from this horrible summarizing!] [Jjs: Don't worry Fanboy, Zelleo got into a crane to hold down the Guard Wolf in a warehouse in the Scrapyard Zone, but apparently that's not important for SOF to show.]Argoron got into the slightly wrecked Shark Slammer, but it worked. He then raced out with the others. [Jjs: The Shark Slammer? What's that again? Oh yeah, it's Argoron's vehicle! SOF skipped the name of it along with the others in his constant summaries. Speaking of which...I don't think SOF has even told us the names of the main characters' vehicles. Wow.] "Are you really letting them get away?" Crink asked. "Oh, heavens no! I have a plan of my own.." Argoron laughed. SOF *narrates*: The Vandals catch the Undersea Force in a laser trap, but just then, the Guard Wolf returns. [CNF: ...yeah I'm so lost that I can't return.]*cue scene*"Uh...captain.." Natcher said, tapping on Argoron's shoulder."What is it now, Natch?" Argoron said, turning behind. They then came face to face with the Guard Wolf. "Oh my..." Argoron said, in panic. It attacked them and crushed the turrets, destroying the laser cages. The Undersea Force escaped through the Storm Field, and back to the base. SOF *narrates*: We jump to ep 22 [sOF: To expand on my earlier riff, Past SOF sure pushed the "Speed Up" button as hard as he could.] [Jjs: B-but...the...you can't skip...but....- *has heart attack and goes to hospital*] [News Reporter: This just in. Jjsthekid just passed out due to a heart attack. Apparently the horrible summarizing of "Storm Racers" from Critic SOF was too much for him. Details at Eleven.] [Jjs: Okay, I'm awake! Seriously, skipping 19-21 may not seem like much, but it is. Where do I start? Well: 1. Episode 19 has some foreshadowing to the season finale. 2. Episode 20 reveals more of Senato's past. 3. Episode 21 introduces another new character, who is a Vandalator. Can't wait to see the plot holes that spawn as a result of this. Blame SOF for choosing to review a filler like Scrapyard Dog over important ones.] [CNF: I know it's not good to skip episodes, but fuck it I just want to get this done. I'm so lost and bored it's not even funny.] as we see Plankton digging underneath the Chum Bucket. [Jjs: No SOF, naughty boy. Plankton was digging OUTSIDE the Chum Bucket, not underneath it.] *cue scene* "What are you looking for?" Karen asked. [Jjs: I'm looking for SOF to actually start making sense with this "review". It feels like I'm watching a mix of The Room and a poorly dubbed 4Kids Anime with all of this confusing dialogue and so many skipped plot lines of importance.][sOF: Sense: This episode makes none.] "Treasure that will make me rich!" Plankton said, using a metal detector. "Honnie, get inside, it's starting to rain, and I heard reports for lightning," Karen said, pulling up an umbrella. "No rain will stop me!" Plankton said. [CNF: It stopped me while I was trying to riff this damn thing. (True story).] SOF *narrates*: Plankton finds a Data-Orb which has info about a Blue Sentient Artifact. [Jjs: How? Did he just pull it out of his ass, like you are with this critique?] [CNF: SOF: I pulled shit out of my ass im magic!] He gets stuck by lightning and the info is downloaded into Plankton, giving him the mind of the Blue Sentient who recorded the info. [sOF: ...What?] [Jjs: "He gets stuck by lightning"? That must be unfortunate.] *cue scene* "DATA PROCESSING.." Plankton said, waking up. "Uh guys.." Zelleo said. "Stay calm," Darsun said. "ARTIFACT FOUND, ZONE 397, IN 50 YARDS EAST.." Plankton said. "Keep that remembered, he apparently is saying coordinates for a zone with an artifact in it," Darsun said. She entered it into the computer. "Hmm, it seems to be an Ancient Ruins Zone," Darsun said. "I can program a key with the coordinates, since we have them," Darsun said, making a key. "Wow, that was easier than I expected," Dash said, grabbing the key. SOF *narrates*: Looks like Plankton is having a struggle with both sides. [Jjs: He is? I'm not seeing it above.] *cue scene* "I don't know fool!" Plankton's other side said. "And I remember those robots, worthless piles of trash!" [Jjs: Oh, there it is. Seriously, I think Wumbo was dead on about this being like The Room with the mismatched dialogue.] Plankton was in a struggle for control of himself back, but then his Blue Sentient side touched the pillar, and found a secret switch. He pressed it, and the pillar lit up. "What's going on!?" Cymtrax asked. "Good question.." Laneld said. [Jjs: Cymtrax and Laneld are dead on.] SOF *narrates*: Plankton then confesses he rebuilt the Rark. [Jjs: Why is he confessing? Did this review make him crack?] [CNF: It's making me DO crack.] *cue scene* "I want to find it...but...-" Just then, Plankton got his control back. "OKAY!" Plankton shouted. "Huh?" Everyone turned at Plankton. "I ADMIT, I rebuilt the robots! I did it at first to steal the Krabby Patty formula, but then they got out of control when I saw their true intentions. I knew I was being controlled by the data orb the whole time, and was trying to gain conscious back," Plankton confessed. "Wow, but we can't change the past," Nathan said. [Jjs: SOF is really misplacing his dialogue in this one. I think we should rename to this "SOF's Exciting Critic Room", stat!] SOF *narrates*: So Nathan went to save Nora from Krumb but suddenly the gate failed to open and self-destruct mode was activated. The gang then escaped back to the base. [Jjs *narrates*: Why did Nora need to be saved by Krumb? What gate? What self-destruct mode? Once again...."JUST. EX. PLAAAAAAIN!"] [CNF: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.] *cue scene* "Well guys, I'm sorry for rebuilding them, I didn't know," Plankton said. "And I guess you guys know my true intentions as well." "Yeah, I found it on the computer," Zelleo said. "Go ahead and step on me, I deserve it." Plankton said. [CNF: Fine by me. *crushes Plankton*] "No, you were helpful, even if it wasn't you in control," Darsun said. "Speaking of which, your Blue Sentient side has one last thing to say it seems." Just then, Plankton's Sentient side controlled him again. He got back up. "They...are...coming..!" Plankton uttered, and collapses; his blue eye faded away. "Alright then, that was weird," Nora said. "What does it mean?" Zelleo asked. [Jjs: I think it means the cops are still hot on SOF's trail.] [CNF: ARREST SOF ALREADY DAMMIT!] [sOF: Don't worry, they're on their way!...I hope.] "I don't know, but I feel better now," Plankton said. SOF *narrates*: We jump to 2-part season finale where we see Darsun and Nathan talking about the journal from Episode 16. [storm Racers Fan: We saw a journal in Episode 16?] [Jjs: Yup, they found a journal in an old lab in a Desert Zone, but once again, that is apparently not important in SOF's critic eyes.] [sOF: It's like Past SOF thinks everyone can just know what he is talking about.] [CNF: almost done almost done almost done almost done.] *cue scene* "So Darsun, have you had any luck examining Dr. Skylander's journal?" Nathan asked. [Jjs: Who is Dr. Skylander? SOF, the review stopped making sense again, as if it didn't make any sense to begin with.] [CNF: This show never made sense.] "No, the only other thing I could make out was "creation" and "robots". It's all very interesting," Darsun said. "Anyways, what's new?" Nathan asked. "A Storm Field is opening, better hurry!" Darsun said. SOF *narrates*: We see the boys (Nora was staying in the base) as they were looking for the key. [Jjs: In what zone? Holy shit, I see being descriptive isn't SOF's strength in this review.] [sOF: You got that damn right.] [CNF: NORA'S A GIRL?!?!?] *cue scene* "Alright, we're in some Mining Zone, so watch out!" Nathan said, dodging a swinging drill. [Jjs: Oh thank goodness SOF pasted that part, and thank you Nathan for telling us. If you didn't, we probably would have had no idea what zone we were in.] "All this rock salt is getting on my window shields!" Laneld complained, blasting sonic waves at the drills. "There's the key!" Nathan said, seeing a dusty key on a rock. SOF *narrates*: So we see the mining robots attacking the team. Just then, the Rark and Vandals appear, and they have teamed up. [sOF: No shit, sherlock. Had you actually pasted more you'd know they teamed up earlier.] [Jjs: It's not like the name of this episode ("EVIL ALLIANCE") gave it away either.] *cue scene* "Hello organics!" Cymtrax laughed. "Surprised to see the both of us together?" Argoron said. "Wha..huh?! What are you two doing together, I thought you were at war?!" Dash asked. [CNF: That would have been nice to know a while ago.] "We WERE," Crink said. "But then we had enough of your interferences, so we agreed to team up and take you all out," Cymtrax said. "ATTACK!" SOF *narrates*: We see Rark and Vandals and their armies fighting against Undersea Force to get the key. The Rark and Vandals win, and they go to Bikini Bottom where they find their base. [Jjs: No seriously, is Critic SOF an employee at 4Kids TV? "I can't show you the fight scene, it's too violent for kids!"] [sOF: More like fighting is too violent for Past SOF.] *cue scene* "WE FOUND THE BASE!" Cymtrax yelled, and both fractions cheered. "My master would be so proud...if only her brother had never DESTROYED him!" "What are you talking about?" Nathan asked. "Your sister's brother was the one who destroyed my creator..my father as I'd call him.." Cymtrax said. [Jjs: Wait. "Your sister's brother"? So Nathan is Darsun's brother? I know that was probably an error on my part which I have fixed by now, but that was kind of funny nonetheless.] [sOF: It's a good thing you revised the episode then, Jjs. ] "Do you mean...Dr. Skylander?" Nathan said. [Jjs: Oh yeah, the guy SOF doesn't want to explain further on.] "How would you know..?" Cymtrax said, in shock. [sOF: We don't, because Past SOF keeps thinking we all know these things magically.] [Jjs: We won't know, because SOF is cutting this part off.] SOF *narrates*: We see Rark and Vandals invaded the base as Krumb found all the keys which started to form some powerful portal. Everyone starts to get sucked into it. [Jjs: Well, that escalated quickly.] *cue scene* "Well Darsun...since we could fall to our dooms..I guess it's a good time to explain to us why you've been hiding things from us.." Nathan said. "What's going on?" Nora asked, holding onto the computer counter. [Jjs: Oh Nora, how I share your thoughts.] "What do you mean? If you mean the Rark and Vandals, understand that I didn't expect them to follow me to Earth or the sea for that matter," Darsun said. "I understand that but what about...your brother?" Nathan asked. "Brother..?" Nora said. [Jjs: Big Brother.] [CNF: Brought to you by CBS, a network that wouldn't pick up this review show.] "You know, the one who killed Dr. Skylander, or so robo head over there says," Nathan said. "Yeah...we'd REALLY like an answer," Laneld said as they ganged up on her. Darsun gasped, and Cymtrax, who was hanging inside the portal, grabbed Darsun's leg. SOF *narrates*: This leads us to part 2 of season finale with this scene here. [Jjs: Will this scene actually make sense?] [CNF: I bet you 100 bucks it won't.] *cue scene* "What is this place?" Straus asked. [Jjs: Ha, I called it. I wonder where you are too, Straus, since SOF won't bother to tell us.] [CNF: You all owe me 100 moolahs. Pay up bitches.] [Jjs: *pays up*][sOF: *pays up in Canadian Dollars*] "Some ancient Blue Sentient civilization," Natcher said. "I don't care what it is, I smell valuable treasure!" Argoron said, leading them away. Nathan jumped in front of them with the Splitvire, and rammed some Vandal grunts off the bridge. [Jjs: What's the Splitvire? Oh yeah, that's Nathan's vehicle? I can't believe we're near the end of the fucking review and it took SOF this long to even say one of the main characters' vehicles names.] "Ugh, you just won't GIVE UP!" Argoron yelled, shooting missiles at Nathan; he dodged SOF *narrates*: We see Nathan fighting some Vandals. [Jjs: ] *cue scene* "Come get some!" Nathan dared them; the Vandals came charing towards him. Nathan then did a flip, and activated a bomb on the bridge. It went exploding as Nathan drove off, and went charging toward the bridge below with the Rark. The Vandals went falling off the bridge. "GWAAAH!" Natcher yelled, falling off of the Scalab. [Jjs: *points to my line above about the Splitvire*] SOF: Wow, there's a big action scene here. [Jjs: There is? Four lines sure is a big action scene.] [CNF: OMG, YOU ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING THAT WASN'T BLAND SUMMARIZING! IT'S A MIRCLE!] *cue scene* He then pulled out a red crystal and the blue orb, and placed them on a stand in the center. They started glowing and the ground was glowing and shaking. [Jjs: Oh Jesus Christ, there's so much missing from this part. SOF entirely skipped the introduction of another new character here (named Gratix, since lord knows if SOF will tell you guys) who is putting the red crystal with the blue orb, and the blue orb is Darsun's hibernation mode! Holy shit, SOF cannot review today...not like he can review in the other ones either, but this one is just a legit mess.] [CNF:...So how's your sex life Mark?] "BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Nathan yelled, as they began to scatter. Just then, a bunch of images shot out of the center. They showed Darsun with some Red Sentient, and her memories. "A Red Sentient? Hooray, more lies!" Laneld said, irritated. Just then, the crystal and orb were shooting out red and blue streams. Darsun went flying out of her hibernation, and to the ground. Nathan made sure she was okay. Just then, the red crystal exploded, and out came the Red Sentient from Darsun's images. "A..Red Sentient..? But..?" Kane asked. He growled, and was red and had black markings. He had black horns on him. He turned his hand into a red blade. "I've been waiting...sister...fueled by my hatred...for YOU!" It yelled with its eyes in rage. "Oh NO!" Darsun panicked. "He released Korax!" [sOF: It'd be nice knowing who did...] [Jjs: Who did? We still don't know who "He" is!] "So, why were you hiding "Korax" from us too?!" Laneld asked. "PLEASE, no more hidings!!" [Jjs: Oh Laneld, I wish I could say the same thing here. I wish SOF would stop hiding so much important stuff as well.] "This time, I have a good reason," Darsun said, staring at him. "He is an ancient evil --- one I will NEVER speak of!" SOF *narrates*: Darsun explained to them that Korax was released [Jjs: WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHO RELEASED KORAX. What, did he just release himself because he felt like it?] [sOF: Past SOF, is it that hard to tell us who released Korax?!] [CNF: Thanks SOF, I can't read today.] and he used some fire power to defeat the heroes. However, Nathan manged to save Darsun and the Undersea Force, but he lost the Splitvire. *cue scene* "You.." Cymtrax said. [Jjs: Who, me?] [Fish: Yes, you! GET OUT OF TOWN!] [Jjs: Meh, why not? I need to get out of this horrible and jumbled mess of a "review" for my show. Bye guys! I've hired Jjs-Bot in my place in the meantime.] [Jjs-Bot: I will do my best, creator.] [CNF: NOOOOOOOO TAKE ME WITH YOU! dammit he left.] "Well, if it isn't it my other favorite..Cymtrax." Korax said, as he jumped up, and began slicing the cockpit of the Slyius. Cymtrax blasted a laser at Korax, but he deflected with fire. Cymtrax jumped out, and attacked with an electric whip. SOF *narrates*: We also learned that Cymtrax used to work with Korax. [Jjs-Bot: You can tell us that, but you can't even tell us who released the one known as "Korax"?] *cue scene* "I used to work for him.." Cymtrax said, as he was on the ground. [Jjs-Bot: The one known as "SOF" already told us...] [CNF: ...and that scene needed to be pasted why?] "We've already had ONE strange dark turn, we don't need another.." Laneld said, annoyed. "That was until I realized what a cruel monster Korax was. He killed Dr. Skylander while scouting the planet, but Darsun has her reasons not to tell you. This was before the Vandals became a threat, and the same with us, as we were under Korax's command," Cymtrax explained. [CNF: Whoa whoa whoa...what.] SOF *narrates*: So the gang decided to retreat and headed back to Bikini Bottom with the key that Cymtrax gave to them while Krumb and Cymtrax are still battling against Korax. [Jjs-Bot: So, you cannot explain that the one known as "Cymtrax" told them all to get out, therefore making us to believe that the "Undersea Force" abandoned the two. Wow, no wonder why my creator got so pissed, the recapping in this is truly atrocious!] [CNF: ...can I burn the bot now? *smirk*] [Jjs-Bot: No, you may not.] *cue scene* Cymtrax and Krumb were fighting Korax off, and Cymtrax blasted the Splitvire at him, but he burned it in half, and it exploded. [Jjs-Bot: ...Where did the Splitvire come from? The one known as "SOF", the review keeps digging itself into a never ending hole.] [Jjs: I'm back from getting out of town-and SOF's still horribly reviewing, isn't he.] [Jjs-Bot: Yes, and I quit. I am sorry creator, but I cannot take this horrible excuse of a review any longer.] [Jjs: It's okay buddy, I'm giving you a break. Run along now, and wipe your memory clean of this pathetic review.] [sOF: I'll do it for you, jjs.] [CNF: YAY I CAN BURN YOU NOW! *burns the bot*] [Jjs-Bot: NO! *runs away*] "Well, the organic's vehicle isn't making it back anytime soon.." Krumb said. [Jjs: Neither is SOF's show, because it definitely didn't get a Season 2 for a reason.] Krumb attacked the Scorcher with the Axdrill, but Korax blasted fire at the drill, and it went combusting, as Krumb fell out. [Jjs: What is the "Scorcher" and "Axdrill"? Oh, the Scorcher is Korax's vehicle and the Axdrill is Krumb's vehicle. Sorry to constantly explain this to you guys, but saying the names of the characters' vehicles from the get go is too hard for SOF.] Cymtrax tried to attack, but Korax launched a big fire blast, and both of them went flying into a pillar. "Good master, good!" Gratix laughed. [storm Racers Fan: Who the hell is Gratix?] [CNF: I could ask the same thing.] [Jjs: He was the alien that released Korax, but apparently he wasn't important enough to be mentioned by SOF, so he had to vaguely keep him described as "He".] SOF *narrates*: The Undersea Force heads back home to the base while they try to figure out what to do. *cue scene* [CNF: DEAR GOD WHEN WILL IT END!] "Yikes..what a day, what a day. Looks like we're going to have to do some serious upgrades soon, but for now, you guys all earn a rest," Darsun said. "I'm sorry for me hiding things." "It's fine, I can't blame you," Nathan said. "You are not ready to fight Korax yet. Soon, he will release the other four members of his team, and when he does, we need to be ready." Darsun explained. "But what will Nathan do without the Splitvire?" Nora asked. [Jjs: SOF still hasn't told us why Nathan left the Splitvire behind. The "five Undersea Force vehicles only allowed in a portal" rule in general wasn't important enough for him.] [sOF: He still hasn't told us? Jjs, you should just have your lawyers sue him already.] "Let's just say it is time for...upgrades!" Darsun said. SOF *narrates: We see Korax has finally captured Cymtrax and Krumb but then suddenly.. [Jjs: ...the cops finally appeared and arrested you?] *cue scene* [Jjs: Fuck me.] [CNF: Ew jjs no.] We then see Korax pick up Gratix, and he approaches a cliff. "What are you..doing?!" Gratix asked. "You served your purpose, I have no use for you anymore," Korax said, dropping Gratix off the cliff. [Jjs: Poor Gratix. He gets butchered in SOF's summary and then killed off before we get to know him.] SOF *narrates*: Harsh... [Jjs *narrates*: Because I skipped out Gratix's importance in the story, I'm going to pretend to care he died.] anyways, Cymtrax and Krumb were tied to a rock while Korax is ready to finish the two off once and for all. This ends Season 1! [sOF: Hallelujah!] [Jjs: Well, if this is how he "recapped" Season 1, I'm just glad Season 2 and 3 weren't up by that time...] SOF: So that’s it for Season 1 of Storm Racers. [Jjs: God be praised. I hate to be glad since it is my own show, but this has to be the most sloppily written "review" of a show ever.] [CNF: PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY!] It is one of best action Spin-Off series I’ve read. [Jjs: I believe you, considering you've probably never read any others.] It has great dialogue, great story and some good character development. [Jjs: "some good character development"? I guess I didn't have enough for SOF.] I enjoyed this series, and I wonder how the rest of Season 2 will go? [Jjs: I wonder too, but the viewers should read the actual show themselves, because I bet this summary of Storm Racers made zero sense to people who aren't me, teenj or present SOF.] [CNF: You got that right!] This is SOF signing off, folks! [Jjs: And have another fun day with Tommy Wiseau. Dear lord, that was awful. While SOF ditched the lame attempts at being funny, it was all just summarizing again...except his summarizing of Storm Racers made legit no sense, and I feel bad for new viewers like CNF who wanted to read Storm Racers. I just hope they actually read the show for themselves, and not base it off of this review. You neglected so much SOF that this was hardly even a "summary". Well folks, this was the last "review"...because the next two episodes aren't even reviews at all! What a twist, eh?] [CNF: Ha yeah, I remember the last 2 episodes. Those were pretty hilarious and lulzy. And hell yes, this review was god awful. Dear lord, thank goodness it's over now. And yeah, I'm not basing Storm Racers off this at all, this got me so lost sadly. But when I do have the time to read it, I'm sure it'll be better than this. Welp, time for another break, I'll be back for the lulzy finale folks!] [sOF: I almost tore myself apart badly, but I'll save my strength for the infamous finale. Thanks again for having me, jjs, and see you next time.] 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMM Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Not as funny as the last one, but understandably so for sure. It was ridiculously long and past SOF didn't have as much stuff for you guys to riff, but you still managed to pull it off. Also, SOF's riffing was better than in the SBCPU review, even without the spell/grammar check (thanks jjs). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 SOF's Exciting Critic Corner 1. SBC Parallel Universe 2. Eelz 3. Underwater Survivor: SBC Style 4. Robot Trout 5. SBCinema 6. Spin-Off Action: Reboot 7. SBC Therapy 8. SBC Mafia 9. Down Under 10. Noob Troop 11. Storm Racers 12. A Tribute to Sabre Spoiler [Jjs: Hello Wumbo, Trophy, and Metal Snake, ready to tackle on the next review? Oh wait a minute...apparently this isn't a review! That's right, apparently SOF got tired of copy and pasting, so he decided to interview Sabre. Now the question is, was the interview actually meaningful?] [Metal Snake: This is not the greatest review show ever made! This is just a tri...hold on...it’s an interview?!] [Trophy: Aloha! Back from that episode 10 beating yesterday. Finally a non review. The police of any kind may not be needed for once.] [Wumbo: It's The Hunger Games, and apparently Sabre has volunteered as tribute. Brave, brave young man.] SOF: Hello everyone, today we're honoring Sabre for his Spin-Off works, which I really enjoyed reading. [Trophy: *throws tomatos at SOF* BOO, YOU STINK! YA JERK!] [Metal Snake: WE'RE honoring him for something YOU enjoyed? I’m sure Sabre’s shows are cool, but that’s like saying “We’re honoring Sabre for his ass, which I really enjoyed kissing.”] [Jjs: Wait a second. A Tribute to Sabre? Honor Sabre for his Spin-Off works? Did Sabre die? It can't be...RIP Sabre. D: I don't know what to say. WHY CRUEL WORLD, WHY?! Why can't even SOF tell us he is dead? No, don't tell us, SOF. It'd just ruin it already..*sniffs* Thank you SOF for honoring this dead man.] [Wumbo: I don't think they have SOF's Exciting Critic Corner in the afterlife. Lucky stiffs.] To celebrate it, I'll be interviewing Sabre himself. Here we go![Metal Snake: To celebrate the guy, I’m going to give him work to do! Everyone loves doing work at a celebration of their honor!] [Jjs: Wow, did SOF interview him before he died or is he interviewing a ghost?] SOF: Question 1 - How did you come up with the idea for Adventures in the Underground City?[Metal Snake: He got into a horrible accident that gave his mind superpowers, but just before he went out to the streets to fight crime, he realized that the police were already taking care of everything and devoted his superhuman abilities to write an amazing work based off of a children’s cartoon!][Jjs: Wait a minute SOF, Sabre just died and you're asking him Spin-Off questions? We know you're grasping for material, but come on, try to show some respect. It's as if Sabre's Spin-Offs are the only noteworthy thing to SOF.] [Trophy: Well played SOF, well played. You do this interview blah blah blah, end it blah blah blah, then post this as an episode? Well thanks for the non torture here, the trophies I set up for me in case I needed to go aren't needed here. Sorry guys.] Sabre: Well to be quite honest the idea for Adventures wasn't really an idea! (If that makes sense) [Metal Snake: It makes sense to past SOF. His critic corner isn’t really a critic corner!] [Jjs: It definitely stopped being one now, if this is supposed to be a "review".] What I mean is that I just wanted to write a story about Spongebob and what came out was "The Sponge Who Almost Wasn't". [Metal Snake: The Little Engine Who Almost Couldn’t.] [Jjs: All Sabre's passing jokes aside, I wonder if SOF forced Sabre to be on this too.][Trophy: First Steel, now Sabre. Good thing I wasn't on forums back when this was made.] [Wumbo: I'm sure SOF can relate. He just wanted to write a ripoff of Nostalgia Critic, but instead came up with this... a ripoff of Nostalgia Critic. Hmm, there was a point in here somewhere.] I enjoyed it quite a lot so continued on writing until I've reached almost eighty episodes! [Metal Snake: ALMOST EIGHTY! AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT!] [Jjs: Great accomplishment, Sabre (we still miss you)! Too bad this Critic Corner didn't even make it close to 80 episodes.][Trophy: You gotta be joking there. I need Kraang. *calls the Kraang* Hey, I need you to pay me back now by destroying the SECC studio. You doing it? Ok, bye!] SOF: Interesting...[Metal Snake: Yes...interesting...*takes cigarette out of mouth and blows smoke*] [Jjs: Yes yes, very interesting. So interesting I can't even continue on with more words!] Question 2 - Did you enjoy writing it? [Trophy: Well gee, back then it was to almost 80 episodes, so I guess he did, ya ding dong.] [Metal Snake: He already said he did, making this question...USELESS FILLER.] [Jjs: Just like all of this show so far.] Sabre: As I mentioned before, I really enjoyed (And still do) writing the episodes and while some are harder to complete, I do like the challenge...[Metal Snake: People like a good challenge. Do you really want a challenge? Try reading all the way through SOF’s Exciting Critic Corner without reading any commentary from other users and without scanning through the summaries or any of SOF’s lines! Now that’s a laugh!] [Jjs: I'd be up for that challenge, but then I'd be torturing myself all over again.] SOF: Ah, I see. [Trophy: The force is in you, young SOFawan.] [Jjs: Never mind my quote from Episode 10, this is actually the most monotone thing ever. Seriously SOF, an interview is supposed to be INTERESTING, not a snoozefest. "Ah, I see." That's all you can say to Sabre? I mean, you seem to be bowing down to his works like a god, so I figured you'd have much more to say.] [Wumbo: I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.] Next question, Question 3 [Wumbo: I am The Count, and I love to count! It beats putting effort into an interview, anyway.] - What was your favorite episode that you made for Adventures in the Underground City? [Trophy: All because I created them all.] Sabre: Favorite episode eh? Well I really like episodes that contain many characters together so I do like "Squidward in Da House" from season three. [Metal Snake: Grump Grump Squiddy Squiddy Play No Way! Squid Power in the...HOUSE!] [Party Pete: PARTY PETE IN THE HHHOOOUUUUSSSSEEEEE!!] I also like a good Plankton plot so "Picture Perfect" from that same season was a lot of fun as well.[Metal Snake: A PICTURE PERFECT PLANKTON! A PICTURE PERFECT PLANKTON-ANKTON-ANKTON-ANKTON!] [Jjs: I wish I could "picture" a "perfect" review in this show.] SOF: Speaking of episodes, [Wumbo: I'm pretty sure I died a little here. This is like interviewing a band and saying "Speaking of music..."] Question 4 - Will you be planning any special events for AITUC? [Metal Snake: Wait a minute...is this an interview, or just a list of questions you have as a fan? Because you seem to be the only one who’s being well-informed by the responses to these trivial questions.] [Jjs: You'd think he'd ask more serious questions since he apparently loves Sabre's works out of nowhere, but planning a special event for AITUC is more important to SOF. Also, Sabre can't even plan one SOF, he's "dead", remember?] [Trophy: Well, I'm just going to keep reading because this is really the best episode yet.] Sabre: Well I am just writing the finale for season four that should air next week and then comes season 5. What's special about that season is that when that finale arrives I will have exactly one hundred episodes! (And am currently planning something REALLY special)[Metal Snake: With something special? Without something special? WHO CARES? ONE HUNDRED EPISODES!][Jjs: Something SECC would never get to from the start.] SOF: Sounds exciting to me. Question 5 - How did your show manage to be such a success?[Metal Snake: Uh...people read it? No creator can really explain exactly how their work became successful, people just found something in it that they’re attached to. Again, this question is...USELESS FILLER.] Sabre: Adventures was never really successful in the beginning, acknowledgements came few and far between, but over the years (Mostly in the middle of season 2) reviews started to come and I realized that quite a few people were reading and enjoying it - That felt good SOF: I do like your spin-off [Metal Snake: Well no shit, otherwise you wouldn’t have made an episode about “honoring” the guy who made it. And how does this comment even correspond with what Sabre said?] [Jjs: Wow, I wouldn't have guessed at all, considering it's a tribute to Sabre and his passing, but also because you said you enjoyed reading his works AT THE VERY BEGINNING.] [Wumbo: I do like repeating myself.] and last question, Question 6 - What is your favorite Spin-Off/Lits?[Metal Snake: Not once...not twice...but THRICE. This last question is the most useless filler question of all! This whole “interview” went like the questions the bridge-keeper asks in Monty Python and the Holy Grail! They’re so easy to answer and they don’t beg for you to provide actual information at all! I...I don’t believe it. Literally, half the questions in this ridiculously short “interview were...USELESS FILLER.] [Jjs: SOF was probably hoping Sabre would say his Critic Corner was one of his favorite shows, but considering he forced him to be on it and pretend he is dead, he got his hopes up too high. Wait...this is the last question? So much for an informative interview.] [Wumbo: I do like repeating myself.] Sabre: I'm ashamed to say I don't really read many other SO's or Lit's. I do read SBCPU occasionally but that's it really [Jjs: Hopefully Sabre read the actual SBC Parallel Universe (IRWYWSWTA - I Really Wish You Would Stop With These Abbreviations) and not SOF's summary.] SOF: Well, thanks for letting me interview you Sabre. [Jjs: And rest in peace. I almost feel tempted to write a parody of this called "Sabre the Unfriendly Ghost".] Sabre: It's been a pleasure SOF, never a chore .[Metal Snake: Of course, it wasn’t a chore for past SOF. He got all his questions answered and saved himself an episode to write on top of it.] [Jjs: Poor Sabre, it probably was secretly a chore for him. SOF forced him into a cheap interview and made him pretend he was dead. That now makes three people forced into this show against their wills.]SOF: Well that's it for our interview, this is SOF signing off folks! [Wumbo: I do like repeating myself.] [Metal Snake: Oh past SOF...you don’t know how to write a review and you don’t know to prepare an interview. While there wasn’t much for me to press you on in this episode, that by no means means that it was not fatally flawed. An interview’s purpose is to ask informative questions and get informative answers that are interesting for people to read. None of the questions you asked Sabre gave any true insight to things his fans did not know about his work, and to add insult to injury, this episode was way, WAY too short considering what little you had to actually write. Said flaws are so obvious that I didn’t even need to point them out during the riff. Thanks once more for letting me co-riff jjs, and good luck to you and the others with the finale!] [Trophy: FINALLY, THE KRAANG ARRIVED! WILL THEY FINALLY END THIS WASTE OF POTENTIAL KNOWN AS A SPIN-OFF!??! FIND OUT FOR JJS' RIFFING THEATRE FINALE OF THE THING CALLED A SPINOFF BY THE ONE KNOWN AS SOF AS THE SPINOFF IS SECC! Man, I gotta work on my Kraang speech imitation more. Well SOF, with the Kraang and those three polices from earlier, he looks caught now. We'll find out next time. Bye everyone!] [Jjs: Pretty much what Metal Snake said. SOF tried too hard to make this like the Nostalgia Critic's interview with the Animaniacs creators. The thing is, NC asked them informative and important questions, not filler questions and have only six. Seriously, this was just lazy. SOF was probably just looking for a way to not summarize another show after the shit he was getting for them. Thanks Metal Snake, I'll do my best on the finale, and go all out on it! Also, since Sabre is "dead" according to SOF, here's my memorial to him, since SOF was too lazy. R.I.P Sabre ] Epilogue: SOF: Oh look, the mourners have arrived! Mr. Krabs: Oh, Sabre, we all came as soon as we were sure you were dead. Sabre: SOF, are you trying to put me in the nuthouse? SOF: No, I just needed an excuse to do a lazy interview, now get into this hole. Sabre: SOF, I have a confession to make. SOF: You’re bald? Sabre: No, I’m not bald! I’m alive! Now get rid of that tombstone and tell all your friends to go home. SOF: But... Sabre: Do it! SOF: Go home. But I...Master... Sabre: I’m not your master. I’m the guy you forced into a show to do a lazy interview with. Now do me a favor and stop doing me favors! SOF: As you wish, master. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Just as lulzy as I remember it. The riffs were great as usual as well. Can't wait to riff the finale! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdfr03 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Nice man! I can't wait for the finale! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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