Clappy Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I also would like to point out how the fuck is there a beach in Las Vegas, Nevada. Just goes to show how much time SOF showed to actually learn anything about everything and everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I also would like to point out how the fuck is there a beach in Las Vegas, Nevada. Just goes to show how much time SOF showed to actually learn anything about everything and everyone. Isn't Las Vegas not having a beach virtually common sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragiiin123 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 you guys should just start riffing SOF's post history at this point 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) And Then There Were Less 3 1. The Arrival of the Party 2. Honor of Speech 3. The Madness Continues 4. Admins of the Dead 5. Escape to Las Vegas 6. Splitting Up Can Be a Bad Thing 7. Forest Dangers 8. Old Man to the Rescue 9. Interrogation: SBC Style Spoiler Chapter 9 – Interrogation: SBC Style [steel: And the winner will receive one million doubloons! Oh wait, wrong spin-off/lit...][Jjs: I thought it would have been SBM style to be honest.][Clappy: Then please my dear SOF, why the fuck are there still SBMers involved?] At the beach, the SBMers and OMJ finally meet, following JCM's death in the previous chapter.[Jjs: Wait...wasn't OMJ already with the SBMers in the previous episode, how can they now just meet? Did the killers' powers over time and space backfire yet again?!][Clappy: This lit should be an example as to why we should proofread before posting.] [steel: As prior to JCM's death, the remaining SBMers and OMJ have obtained short-term memory loss.] OMJ: Yo guys. Ex: OMJ! What are you doing here?[Clappy: You know, that's a good question. Why the fuck would OMJ come here when there are killers on the loose? I mean, since it's obvious who the killers are from all the talk about it, but it's just awful storytelling. OMJ is not that gullible to come out here just because 70s called him out here. Ugh, this just gives me headaches...HEADACHES!][Jjs: Oh never mind, I see Past SOF meant SBCers. Proofreading, folks! With all the spotlight SBM is getting, I kind of wonder if this was originally an SBM lit.] OMJ: 70s called me to come over to Las Vegas to rescue you guys and the SBMers.[Jjs: Yeah, because he sure did a good job rescuing JCM back there...] [steel: "Too bad JCM is dead. He died in the name of sarcasm and I'll honor him for that. If only if I had the responsibility and time to save his butt. Regardless, no need to thank me."][Clappy: Calling your friends, yet not calling the police. I have to agree with what was said last episode about that logical moment.] RedSoxFan: Unfortunately though, we lost JCM, Jibbix, Tvlover, and Bugs Bunny. [steel: And they have been honored as the dumbest Darwin Awards winners to boot.] [Clappy: Thanks for the recapping. Because their lack of presence isn't obvious enough. Either that or they decided to go on the bus all together for the hell of it.] 70s: Damn, so what happened? [Jjs: Where's that DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald?] Stinkoman: We were on our way to the park, and then Bugs Bunny got killed when a statue fell on him. Anyways, then we went into the forest, but then Jibbix and Tvlover got caught in a forest fire.[Jjs: Yeah, thanks to you leaving them there for dead. I also love they didn't even mention how JCM died. What great friends these guys are.] [steel: We could blame our common sense and lack of heroic effort on this, but one thing for sure is that it's the work of the killers.][Clappy: I also have to point out the lack of parks and forests in Las Vegas. Maybe they already escaped to Las Vegas.] SOF: So you couldn't escape?[Jjs: Yes, even though they are clearly still alive, they probably didn't escape.][Clappy: Dragiiin and Elastic escaped. Anything is still possible in this.] RedSoxFan: We couldn't, but in the end we got back to the park...[Jjs:>We couldn't escape>We got back to the park???Did...the remaining SBMers die and get reincarnated? At least that is what I got here.][Clappy: I'm not even going to bother riffing this. This line riffs itself.] and it turns out there isn't one, but TWO killers! So there is definitely some tomfoolery around here..[Jjs: Tomfoolery? I didn't know killing people was just fun and games now.][Clappy: Who still says tomfoolery grandpa?] [steel: Tomfoolery? How about jeopardizing chaos and the fact that you all need to catch a taxi and leave Las Vegas NOW, and forever!] The SBCers were shocked with what they have heard.[Jjs: HOLY SHIT, TWO KILLERS! IT'S THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE CENTURY!] [steel: And in other exciting news, stock prices are going up!] CDCB: Wow..I can't believe it. Who could the double trouble duo be? [steel: Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light. It could be them.][Jjs: What normal human being would EVER say "double trouble duo"? I can't even imagine CD saying it, or anyone else, for that matter.][Clappy: I think SOF gets all his lingo from the 1940s. I'm sold on it.] Jelly: I don’t know, if only the Beatles were here to save us. :/[Clappy: OH BOY! I've been waiting patiently to riff on SOF trying to force character into the remaining users in this lit. Now for those who don't know or have forgotten, I kinda gave SOF a bit of a scathing comment about his edition and how bad these characters have been up to this point. So what did SOF do for the rest of the series? He made these characters so forced that it made things even worse for me while reading in retrospect. But my god. This has to be the most oblivious one yet. Real Jelly knows that half of The Beatles are dead. Does SOF know that they are a band and not freaking superheroes like he is making them out to be here? GAH!][Jjs: I doubt even they could save this lit, sadly.] [steel: I have nothing much to say. It sounds just so illogical.] DirtyDan: The biggest question is, which one of you two is the killers?![Clappy: Oh man, I'm not going to like where this is going.] SOF: Eh, it wasn't me, doc..[Jjs: Is SOF trying to be the new Bugs Bunny? Well, he's not doing a very good job. He's not funny, whacky, interesting, or clever.][Clappy: SOF didn't do it because that quote failed hard.] [steel: SOF has been possessed! The Exorcism of Bugs Bunny is real!] Steel: Nope, I am not that devious to do it again.[Clappy: Steel didn't do it because we've already made it clear that this universe has no idea if the past two ATTWL's existed or not.] SpongeSeb: Same here, and there has to be an answer.[Clappy: Same logic applies for Seb here...and is it just me or has SOF given virtually no dialogue for SpongeSebastian? Maybe if he wasn't too busy trying to give himself as much corny dialogue as possible.] [steel: He's too busy acknowledging the fact that he is in an ATTWL lit series.] Termi: Let's ask ourselves: Which one of us would be the two killers? It is clear it is one of us..since the SBMers saw the two killers.[Jjs: Detective Terminoob then went on to deduce that when the sun is out, it is sunny.][Clappy: If the SBMers saw the two killers, WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE FUCKING SBMERS INSTEAD OF PONDERING THIS WHOLE EPISODE AWAY!?] RedSoxFan: I remember a clue we found a while back had a note saying "Revenge". Maybe the two are mad about an incident from the past and want payback?[Clappy: RedSoxFan doesn't know shit about any of the past SBC events, so how would he deduce this?] SOF: He's got a point.[Jjs: He sure does, because any simple person could have come to that conclusion. Wait, wasn't this established in Episode 3 anyways? The recapping in this has officially passed 70s levels in terms of writing for length.][Clappy: That's why I wanted to riff this chapter because it's pretty much Episode 3 with a lot more unnecessary exposition.] [steel: And thanks for your obvious feedback, fictional SOF. Might as well begin the exposition counter since I'm aware that we're going to be using that word a lot.] [Exposition Counter: 1] OMJ: Hold the phone, could they both have a helper? [Jjs: I don't think they need anymore help than their god powers.] Termi: Well duh, what do you think? In the first one, tvfan and 4EverGreen helped Seb, and in the 2nd one, SOF and Goosey helped Steel. It's just obvious there is another helper, as it fits the "3 team scheme" pattern.[Jjs: Wait, OMJ said "both have a helper", meaning there's two helpers, so that'd be 4, not 3. I also love how Termi just happens to know this. I could think he is one of the killers at this point with everything he knows.][Clappy: You should have suggested that to SOF. He probably would have done it anyway.] Steel Sponge: Now that you mention it..did anybody notice anything strange about Phil during the bus incident? [steel: Who? Uncle Phil? Phil Dunphy? Phil Collins? Philoctetes? Phil Robertson? Phil Lester? Phil of the Future? Which Phil was it!?][Jjs: I've noticed a lot of strange things in this lit, so you may have to elaborate fictional Steel.][Clappy: I noticed how strange hilaryfan80 was about wanting to be in the bus incident, maybe he's a suspect too. ] SOF: Yeah…I just noticed that too.[Clappy: Hold the phone...SOF do you even remember what you were making yourself doing in Chapter 5? You randomly walked away to get a drink...and then came back saying "Damn it, no!" God, this could have been a line for SpongeSebastian instead of forcing yourself in this lit as much as possible.] RedSoxFan: It seemed odd he wanted Mothra, hilaryfan80, and DadMom on the bus...it was definitely suspicious.[Jjs: I love how they just suddenly realize this for recapping. If everyone is so suspicious, why did none of them ask Phil about his actions in Episode 5?! Did the killers use their powers to make everyone too addicted to the casino (which they shouldn't have been legally allowed in) to pay attention?][Clappy: hilaryfan80 wanted to be on the bus. Actually, I just want to erase the whole bus scene from my memory banks in general if possible.] [steel: I think things are starting to get boring again...] SOF: Alright folks, something is suspicious around here, and detective SOF is going to crack the case.[Clappy: Oh dear god no. Please no more bad puns. I'll do anything. Please. Just stop.] [steel: Looks like the author is our main hero if nobody could pull off detective work like him.] 70s: I doubt it highly.[Jjs: *chuckles* Heh, out of all the forced-in dialogue in this lit, I find the placement of this one perfect. I actually laughed. Mostly because SOF himself didn't even know who he wanted the killers to be at first. Midway into the series, he wanted my advice because he didn't know where to take the story anymore, so I suggested the most obvious two, which I sadly start to regret now. But I love how even 70s is self-aware SOF doesn't know the answer.] Jelly: What about the missing footage from Cha's death? The tape might be gone by this point, tho..[Jjs: Yeah, even tho that is entirely redundant at this point, let's recap it anyways to make this episode longer. No, seriously, this is the biggest "answer your own question" I've ever seen. If it is missing, then no shit it is gone. Redundancy Department in 3...2..1...] [Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with you SOF in that house which is a house on the street on this block, in this town.] SOF: Yes, good job Jelly Wattson, it may have to do with that.[Clappy: Ugh, this is causing me physical pain.] [steel: Jelly Wattson? On top of that, let's call the rest of the remaining characters "Ex Lestrade," "SpongeSebastian Moran," and "insert-one-of-the-killer's-names-here Moriarty!"] Ex: No shit, sherlock SOF.[Jjs: Ouch, just stop. That joke just gave me a tumor.] [steel: It gave me a coma.] Termi: Hooray for overused memes! But seriously now, there has to be a logical explanation for this.[Jjs: "Hooray for overused memes"? Acknowledging it is overused does not make the joke better at all. And sorry Termi, but I don't think any logical explanation works better than the god powers both the killers have. It's the only way most of these idiotic deaths and odd occurrences (like a beach in Las Vegas) could happen.] SOF: I agree, something’s up.[Clappy: JESUS CHRIST! WE GET IT! WE GET SOMETHING IS UP! STOP WITH THE FUCKING EXPOSITION! JUST FUCKING STOP WITH IT! NINE CHAPTERS OF THIS SHIT. IT'S GETTING SO REPETITIVE TYPING OUT THE SAME COMPLAINT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!][Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with you SOF in that house which is a house on the street on this block, in this town.] [steel: Yeah, come on! In the words of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, get on with it! I'm not going to be tempted to use the boring economics teacher clip again!] [Exposition Counter: 2] RedSoxFan: But why? I don’t know of any incidents, except maybe for some SBC-SBM fights, but I doubt they would make someone kill people.[Jjs: I don't know either. Also, are you a fan of the Boston Red Sox in baseball?] Ex: Maybe…SOMEBODY purposely lured us into the dining room.[Jjs: So SOMEBODY is the killer. Things are just getting more obvious folks.][steel: I guess nobody can mention SOMEBODY without TALKING LIKE THIS.] SOF: Um, Clappy was killed, so I doubt it. He is innoncent.[Grammar Police: Did you mean: innocent][Clappy: I thought they said this was a party celebrating my accomplishments? All of them would have been lured into the dining room regardless if they wanted to be killed or not.] Ex: Fine, but I still have my eyes on him..or his ghost.[Jjs: Why the hell would Ex even think it's Clappy? He was clearly killed off, and I'm pretty sure the host being the killer is the least likely outcome of them all.][Clappy: Oh so close SOF. You finally almost made a SBC member sound like himself. Too bad Dragiiin was the one who makes comments about my ghost. But this is the closest you've made Ex sound like himself to me. So congrats on that.] [steel: Ex can see Clappy's ghost? Is he Cole Sear or something?] Steel Sponge: What about CD? SOF: lolwat?[Clappy: Who actually says lolwat IRL?][Jjs: lolwat? Plenty of people do, Clappy. I mean, don't you ever say it when a killer is on the loose? I do it all the time.] SpongeSeb: Why him? He's not really involved in any drama, plus he's a nice SBC user. Termi: Everyone is so quick to deny it, but did you all ever stop to think for once..it might be the right guess?[Jjs: No, impossible....a CORRECT guess in this lit?! The world is ending, pigs are flying, I became a monkey's uncle, a cure for cancer was found, and someone made a correct guess in And Then There Were Less 3!] Jelly: What do you mean? o_O [Jjs: Oh sweet, now Jelly is turning into the new hilaryfan80. ] Term: I'm saying because...CDCB hasn't said anything in a while, and where is he?[Clappy: He's too busy losing his lines to SOF making bad jokes.] [steel: So technically, the one SBC user who did almost absolutely nothing throughout these nine chapters could be the killer.][Jjs: Where is he indeed? Because he's not saying anything during this exposition.] The SBCers and SBMers continued to throw accussations and questions until Steel realized something..[Grammar Police: Did you mean: accusations][Clappy: Why couldn't we just get this instead of hearing them ramble on and on to begin with, because my god, was that last 2/3 of dialogue entirely pointless.] Steel: Hold it, what about 70s? He could be our main suspect this whole time.[Jjs: Sorry Steel, but Trophy called that one long before you because of a dead giveaway spoiler.] [steel: It took them long enough to realize they haven't discussed about 70s yet.] SOF: How can you be sure?[Clappy: Because SOF ruined it a few chapters ago. Good job pointing it out Trophy.] Steel: Think about it, 70s has barely spoken up about any of these deaths. [steel: And as it seems to be, the two killers in this lit are the ones who did almost virtually nothing the whole time! Who would've thought?][Jjs: And I love how neither him nor CD are speaking up about them being accused as the killers.][Clappy: Even I made my killer(s) speak up in these times of pondering.] RedSoxFan: Yeah, what about it? Steel: I’m guessing that 70s is not what he seems..[Jjs: I don't think anyone in this lit has been what they seem.] SOF: lol GF reference.[Clappy: Oh Jesus Christ. Gravity Falls reference? SOF, not everything comes from Gravity Falls and Phineas and Ferb.] [steel: Wait until SOF scoffs about a Jimmy Two-Shoes reference.] DirtyDan: Eh…I need a break[Jjs: All the recapping of exposition finally made him bored, can't blame him, because I am too.] [steel: You could use a Fast Break...bad pun, I know.] [Exposition Counter: 3][Clappy: Go get yourself a drink like SOF did a few chapters ago. You won't miss much.] RedSoxFan: Agreed, but I doubt it is 70s or CD.[Clappy: You agree with what? You need a break?] CD: Oh no you don't..[Clappy: NO BREAKS FOR YOU!][Jjs: Why is CD so against him taking a break? Did CD have some traumatic experience on a lunch break once and doesn't want DirtyDan to suffer the same?] [steel: I guess he was much more of a BREAKfast fan!] [steel's Lame Pun Counter: 2] SOF: wat? [Clappy: What do you mean what? You wrote it. SEE? NOW THAT'S A GOOD FOURTH WALL JOKE!] [steel: It's probably just dialogue filler, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.] CD grabbed his gun.[Jjs: From where? Out of his ass? That's where most of these plot lines are coming from, anyways.][Clappy: I bet the gun was conveniently placed on the ground like all the clues.] [steel: "Thanks CDCB, you found another clue! Now let's continue walking around as we try to figure out"-] SOF: *gasped* Why CD why?! I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL?![Clappy: Ugh, this SpongeBob reference is making me groan with how unnecessary it was.] [steel: "SOFCB" is now canon.] RedSoxFan: Okay, so he has a gun. That doesn't prove anything, he may be doing it in self defense. CD and 70s aren't the killers, and that is final![Jjs: ...Self-defense? Accusing them of being the killers is suddenly an attack?][Clappy: Then by this logic, I need a gun to defend myself from all this horrible writing.] [steel: Are they the killers, you say? Oh I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of denial!] CD then shot RedSoxFan and DirtyDan, as 70s smirked and sided with CDCB.[Jjs: Oh well. At least RedSoxFan was a fan of the Boston Red Sox in baseball. Oh, 70s and CD are the killers? ....What?!] [steel: He died in the name of the Boston Red Sox and I'll honor him for that.] [Clappy: Wait, I thought DirtyDan was taking a break? How the fuck? And why the fuck? Just fuck this.] 70s: Well well well, looks like they figured out our little secret.[Jjs: ...What. I can't anymore. Just stop right there. Take it away Princess Bubblegum... PLOT HOLE POLICE! You may be wondering...what is wrong with this reveal? At first glance, nothing does seem wrong. But thanks to Metal Snake who told me, this reveal makes zero sense. NOBODY SAID THEY WERE THE KILLERS. So why did 70s say "they figured out our little secret"?! Nobody was onto them! They only guessed, and had no facts to back it up! RedSoxFan even said it WASN'T THEM, so why the hell did they reveal themselves and shoot him?! Were they getting that bored of all the exposition?] [Clappy: Maybe they were tired of all the accusations? In that case, I don't blame them for skipping right ahead to the shooting....all joking aside, this whole sequence was fucking awful. From all the accusations, to all the bad jokes SOF wrote for himself, to just the whole reveal. This was brutal. Jjs gave SOF the idea of who the killers were and SOF did a terrible job building up to this reveal.] [steel: What can I say? Jjs and Clappy already said it best. And oh yeah...] [Exposition Counter: 4] Stinkoman: Oh great..now I am alone.[Jjs: ][Clappy: Sorry to hear that Stinkoman...whoever you are. I actually do recall Stinkoman. I remember that he constantly mentioned he was a fan of the New York Yankees. Too bad SOF didn't give him that lulzy bad dialogue to compliment RedSoxFan.] [steel: Poor SBMers, they became as useful as Team Victory and the Ulong Tribe.] Jelly: *cried* No…it can’t be![Jjs: Looks like 70s and CD used their powers to make Jelly to cry in past tense. Impressive.][Clappy: I'm crying...for all the wrong reasons.] To be continued…[Jjs: *sigh* Whatever gets this done faster. Only four more episodes to go of And Then There Was Exposition.][Clappy: God this chapter was awful. Awful, awful, awful, awful. I think this might be the worst one yet. Can't wait to riff the rest of And Then There Was SOF.] [steel: Hopefully, the rest of the story will get better. This isn't looking as good. I don't know how reliant we are with the word "exposition," but...oh great, now you guys got me saying it and now I've realized I actually used the word several riffs ago...] [Exposition Counter: 7] Edited December 2, 2017 by jjsthekid 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Detective Trophy more like it SOF . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Ha ha. Thanks for the shout-out. And there's another inconsistency with 70s and CDCB just revealing they were the killers out of nowhere... Why did they try to frame the waiter back in episode 4? >.< It makes NO logical sense. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Okay, I gotta give it up to Steel here, because you my friend had me rolling throughout the whole thing. Great stuff from jjs and Clappy, too! THA PLOT THICKENS 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Jjs Goodman Posted February 16, 2014 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 16, 2014 (edited) And Then There Were Less 3 1. The Arrival of the Party 2. Honor of Speech 3. The Madness Continues 4. Admins of the Dead 5. Escape to Las Vegas 6. Splitting Up Can Be a Bad Thing 7. Forest Dangers 8. Old Man to the Rescue 9. Interrogation: SBC Style 10. The Evil Truth Spoiler Chapter 10 – The Evil Truth [Jjs: Truth...can be evil? What the...] [Trophy: Don't tell that to Mermaid M-] [Mermaid Man: ] [Trophy: Aw drats!] [Clappy: Is the evil truth that this is going to be an underwhelming chapter? Wouldn't surprise me.] [steel: The evil truth hurts.] [Wumbo: I don't know guys, I'm excited! Who are the killers going to b- oh. Oh. They've already been revealed, huh?] CDCB and 70s were revealed to be the killers in the previous chapter, leaving everyone in shock. [Trophy: *coughacknowledgemeforfiguringout70spastSOFcoughwhatajerk*] [Clappy: Thanks for the pointless recap, it's not like the chapter above didn't just tell us that.] Steel: I knew it...but I can't believe it. [steel: If my fictional self was really that psychic, then the lit could have been already over a long while ago.] [Clappy: What do you mean you knew it? You just spent a whole chapter pondering.] [Wumbo: I knew this lit was bad, but I couldn't believe it.] SpongeSeb: Why would you do this? SOF: I'm ashamed in the both of you, why would you do this?! [steel: Bad killers, bad! No pizza for you!] [Trophy: Because you made them do it? Okay, honestly, why isn't this fictional SOF dead yet guys? At least Clappy found ways to kill himself off in the previous two ATTWL's.] [Jjs: Using "Why would you do this?" twice in a row. I'm loving the copypasta dialogue.] [Wumbo: Worlds are colliding! SOF is GETTIN' UPSET!] CDCB: Yeah, we did this as a part of our plan to get revenge on you guys. [Jjs: A PART of your plan? There's more than just killing people to your plan?] [Clappy: The other part is to order more pizza.] [Trophy: I'll call the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for our pizza party then.] [steel: When in doubt, get a pizza.] Jelly: What the heck are you talking about? OMJ: Holy shit, what a twist, and not from an M. Night movie. I never expected you two to be behind it all. [steel: Prepare for trouble. Because we are the double trouble duo. To corrupt Las Vegas with devastation. To kill off all the guests within these expositions. To denounce the virtues for the sake of Prudence and Glee. To extend my reach to the PB&J Otters after this killing spree. 70's CDCB Las Vegas killers blasting off at the speed of light Surrender now or prepare to die. LOL Pokemon reference, am I right? Because I couldn't resist.] [Clappy: A twist? A TWIST? You know, I'm glad you brought up the M Night comparison because this twist was absolute useless bullshit.] [Wumbo: The only way this could be considered a "twist" is if it was the twist of a stale pretzel.] 70s: Let me explain how it all started.. [Jjs: Now, this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down...] [Clappy: As long as we don't get useless exposition, which I won't keep my hopes up on that not happening.] [steel: And maybe you can just kill them while they're stuck getting hooked on your story.] When I was still an admin of SBC, I would to take the time mange [Trophy: Does SOF ever use spell or grammar check?] [Jjs: 70s has a skin disease?] [steel: Then 70s must be a mammal than an actual human being. What a twist.] to control the community and you all knew how I was a good admin, well, minus the November 2011 incident. [Trophy: "I would take the time mange to control..." GRAMMAR POLICE! 1) It's to and manage! 2) You don't have to have the word to before control. Seriously, what was that jumbled mess of a sentence?] [Jjs: "You all knew how I was a good admin". Jeez, ego much? Actually, to be fair, I'll give Past SOF some credit. At least 70s actually sounded in-character there.] [Clappy: Oh ho ho, I can think of many things 70s did with abusing his power. Calling him a good admin is like not calling SOF's Exciting Critic Corner a Nostalgia Critic carbon copy.] Then I resigned due to some personal issues in February 2012, but later came back to the admin team in April. [Wumbo's Care-O-Meter: Falling... falling...] Eventually, I got de-admined without any consultation and was demoted to a Chairman of the Rep Board. I was just confused that I kind of left, and when I came back, I was now a Good Noodle. [Jjs: Hooray for recapping SBC's past...seriously, if I wanted a lecture on SBC's past, I'd read the SBC wiki. At least try to think of an original motive.] [Clappy: Reading the SBC Wiki sounds like a better offer than reading this.] It frustrated me how I was fired without any warnings, but I didn't want to start another November incident. I then found CDCB who was mad that he was fired from the staff too. [Trophy: Well, now CD is pulled out of god knows where, for god knows what reason. Where did he even find CD? Did they just meet each other on Christian Mingle?] [Jjs: CDCB wasn't demoted until after ATTWL 3 premiered...more evidence this was poorly planned out.] [Clappy: While we're at it, 70s and CDCB make the world's most incompatible partners in crime. I demand a literature based on their life of crime together because these two were complete polar opposites who never got along. I highly doubt, even in lit form, that these two would work together even if they both got de-admined.] [steel: Well, unless you incorporate it very well.] Both of us had been inactive, we know, but we were furious we were just stepped on [steel: These guys are such doormats.] [Jjs: "stepped on"? Are CD and 70s apart of Plankton's family now?] [Clappy: CDCB? Inactive? What SBC have you been logging into?] and not given any other chances. So we made our plans to strike during Clappy's party pretty much. [steel: We just wanted to go bowling!] [Clappy: Or we made our plan to strike once jjs suggested SOF who should be the killer(s).] [Wumbo: Hey, you know what was necessary? The words "pretty much". Want to know why they were necessary? Because they're an accurate representation of how little editing and pruning went into this story. All the needless words, all the needless exposition, all the redundancies. It's hurting my brain pretty much.] Stinkoman: But why would you kill the SBMers? [Trophy: We just needed you as shark bait of course.] 70s: I'll explain that too.. [Clappy: Oh boy. I bet this explanation will be even worse.] [Wumbo: SO JUST EXPLAIN IT MY GOOOOODDDD] We decided to kill the SBMers as we knew they had been rivals with SBC for ages, and we of course wanted revenge on them too. [steel: Figures.] [Trophy: But you don't see The Boston Red Sox and all other MLB teams killing The New York Yankees.] [Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (1)! What do the SBMers have to do with CD and 70s getting demoted from the SBC staff? Talk about abrupt motive change.] [Clappy: You know, I think the even better explanation is why Clappy would invite SBMers to this celebration? I would prefer that explanation over any motive as to why 70s and CD would kill SBMers because that idea was absolutely awful from the very beginning and incredibly stupid.] [Wumbo: "We hated SBC! But we also hated people who hated SBC. Uh, we're pretty much misanthropes."] CD and I got PhilipB as an inside man of ours by offering him a higher spot on SBM as an admin, and we knew he hated some SBCers too like tvguy. [Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (2)! Why would PhilipB trust CD and 70s when they aren't staff on SBM? How would they get him a higher position of power? Would they just give him a pimp outfit with a crown, and say "Bitch, you're da king now, do whatever you please"?] [steel: Come on PhillipB, queen it up, b*tch!] [Clappy: Also PhilipB has gone on record back in 2011 to point out in the past that SBC is a drama filled site and you know who caused a hell of a lot of drama back then? 70s. SOF, please do more research in how people react around each other because clearly you have no idea as to who likes who.] [Trophy: Be-cause he's a TV-GUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYY!] [Wumbo: I wonder if tvguy was hated because his spin-offs were featured on Terrible Tvguy Sunday or whatever.] As time passed though, we feared Phil would rat us out, so we made him lure Mothra, DadMom, and hilaryfan80 onto the bus, but we had really betrayed him. [Trophy: Even though hilaryfan80 came on by choice instead.] [Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (3)! Why would Phil rat you guys out if he hated the SBCers and he was willing to accept the "epic position of power"?] [Clappy: Better yet, I'm still waiting for an explanation on why hilaryfan80 wanted to go on the bus. I doubt I'll ever get my answer.] We hijacked the bus behind his back, and made it crash off the cliff while he was still in it. His death threw off some suspicions. [Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (4)! How did they hijack the bus? Are they both suddenly hackers of automobiles? They both might give Anonymous a run for their money now. And "throw off some suspicions"? Because everyone in this lit totally was suspecting Phil...] [Clappy: How in the hell did this happen when there was no bus driver in the first place? How can you hijack something that was without a driver driving the bus in the first place. These obnoxious plot holes are pissing me off.] [Wumbo: No, you can't explain the "bus crashing through the streets off a cliff and a note floats up from the wind" death. That's just not going to happen. I appreciate your efforts, but stop.] [steel: All this is giving me a headache.] CD: I'll also tell you who killed which members. I was the one who killed Cha and removed the footage from the tape. PhilipB killed Hasfarr, [Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (5)! Wasn't Philip with the SBMers when Hasfarr died? You know, this is why details can come in handy.] [Clappy: SOF, are you even reading your previous chapters?] [Wumbo: WHY HASN'T ANYBODY TAKEN ACTION YET YOU DON'T SIT DOWN AND CHAT OVER A CUP OF TEA WITH MASS MURDERERS] [steel: There's just a lot of things that could have been done rather than getting yourselves killed.] 70s killed the SBM Staff, and I was the one who killed the SBC staff and the waiter. [Trophy: YOU KILLED MY PIZZA CD!] [Jjs: PLOT HOLE POLICE (6)! If 70s killed the SBM Staff, then how could CD kill the waiter? The Waiter was with Spongedude and Spongey34. Holy crap SOF, I've done six Plot Hole Police calls in a row.] [steel: Perhaps 70s just cooked the food while CDCB took care of everyone's favorite pizza chef. Now get back in the kitchen, 70sguy!] [Clappy: Once again, incredibly poor planning.] It pained me to kill some people like jjs and Clappy, but it had to be done. [Trophy: Heh, quite ironic how they're riffing this too. Thank goodness I'm not on the staff.] [Jjs: Even though it was established both are angry at the staff whole, let's throw in some forced-in remorse. No seriously, if you want to make a villain, actually make them evil, not say "it pained me" like they have some twisted love for them!] [Clappy: It pained me to riff this chapter, but it had to be done.] [steel: It pained me to riff this too, we're all not alone.] [Wumbo: "It pained me to kill off the guy who tried saving my ass when I didn't know who to make the killers in A MURDER MYSTERY LIT..." but I'm so done.] Anyways, 70s killed Smiles, while I rigged the statue in the park to kill Bugs Bunny. [Trophy: LIKE I SAID, I FIGURED OUT IT WAS 70S BECAUSE OF SMILES! WAIT GUYS HOLD UP! HE KILLED BUGS BUNNY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES HE KILLS INNOCENT CARTOON CHARACTERS! WAAH THE WORLD IS ENDING!] [Jjs: There's exposition, there's recapping, and then there's....what. PLOT HOLE POLICE (7)! How did CD and 70s both get to the park and forest without any of the SBCers noticing they went missing?! I'm sorry if I am being a nitpick douche, but all these plot holes in the exposition are too obvious.] [steel: They must have gotten super speed if I'm going to make a guess. Eat your heart out, Barry Allen!] [Clappy: If you ever and I mean ever decide to write a murder mystery again SOF. THIS IS WHY YOU PLAN THIS SHIT OUT AHEAD OF TIME INSTEAD OF ON THE FLY. YOUR AUDIENCE IS NOT STUPID, WE HAVE BRAINS AND WE CAN NITPICK THE FUCK OUT OF ALL THE PLOTHOLES.] Then I was the one who lit the forest on fire [Wumbo: You get a failing grade from Smokey the Bear.] [steel: CDCB really doesn't like trees.] that demised Jibbix and tvlover, and to finish off the list, 70s was the one who killed JCM. [Jjs: Wait...it never said they killed Teenj. So maybe SOF killed him after all!] [Trophy: Jjs, don't forget Dragiiin and Elastic.] [Clappy: I demand SOF to be sentenced to re-read this lit for the murder of teenj.] So that’s our back story. [Trophy: Cool story bro.] [Jjs: You don't even deserve a "What a story, Mark" from me, because it wasn't a very good one. While granted this is fiction, at least the first two ATTWL's had more reasonable motives. Killing people over being demoted over an INTERNET forum is just really cliche, stupid, and not original at all. At least the previous two ATTWL's tried to stray away from the simple and bland "lol revenge" cliche.] [Clappy: What jjs said. My god. 70s and CDCB being the killers make no damn sense. This backstory makes no damn sense. Everything about this story makes no damn sense. I make no damn sense. Damn you Chapter 10. Just damn you to hell.] [steel: Once again, Clappy and Jjs already said it best. Yeah, nobody likes you Chapter 10.] We would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for your snoopy detective skills. [Jjs: I'm pretty sure killing people counts as "getting away with it"...] [Wumbo: Oh, but the references, jjs! The painfully obvious shoehorned-in references!] [steel: I didn't know Snoopy was in this lit. And oh yes, what would a mystery/horror lit be without a good old fashioned Scooby-Doo reference?] Steel: Scooby-Doo references aside [Wumbo: GEE THANKS I DIDN'T CATCH THAT oh god I hate this lit so much] [steel: Surprises me how SOF didn't take note of that Scooby-Doo reference. That should be his job, acknowledging pop culture references.] , you both wanted revenge because you were fired from the staff? [Trophy: Yup, and you're next!] [Jjs: The self-awareness in this lit has officially gotten old...not only does this Scooby-Doo joke not even make any sense (YEAH BECAUSE THEY TOTALLY HAVE SNOOPY DETECTIVE SKILLS), but then acknowledging it's a reference is just a final death blow.] [Clappy: How in the fucking hell did any of this count as snoopy detective skills? Chapter 9 was just pure fucking pain full of exposition, bad one liners, and an awful reveal of the killers. All this self-awareness is making Chapter 10 almost as bad. Also ALL THESE FUCKING CARTOON REFERENCES IS TURNING THIS MURDER MYSTERY INTO A CARTOON ITSELF. I hate to rub my ego, but I feel like I made the first two ATTWL's legit murder mysteries. This version feels like a bad cartoon version of my previous two. I hate to admit it, but come on. This riffing theater is making it sound even more true that this is And Then There Were Less: The Animated Series. Chalk full of bad slapstick, illogical happenstances (Las Vegas has a forest, beach, and park? In what universe?), cartoonish deaths, and lame jokes....I'm going to hold the rest of this rant aside for once this series is finished because boy do I have a mouth full.] 70s: Exactly. Maybe it's harsh, [Jjs: MAYBE killing people is harsh?! Wow, I don't know man. I don't think taking people's lives away is harsh at all, especially if it were from these bland SBCers and SBMers.] [steel: Harsh irony.] but it hurt to be kicked from the staff of a community I had been running for three years. [Trophy: 70s became leader in November 2009 and stepped down in November 2011, so that'd be two years. Do your research, genius!] [Clappy: So killing people is the equivalent to the feeling of getting kicked out of the staff....ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?] [Trophy: No they've sunk low, very very low, Clappy.] OMJ: Why did you call me over though? 70s: Just to throw some suspicions off of me and CD, and because I was getting bored with the current crew, so I decided to bring in you to make things more interesting. [steel: Nah, just kidding, it's just out of popular demand.] [Trophy: Maybe it'll throw off suspicions for you, but that doesn't help CD at all.] [Jjs: Once again, because I bet people were totally suspicious it was you two, considering everyone has such great detective skills in this lit.] OMJ: I see, it'll be an honor to be hunted, then. [Wumbo: This line riffs itself. It really does.] [Jjs: Why is everything such an honor to everyone in this lit?] [Clappy: It will be an honor to die knowing that you flew out here to be killed?] Ex: I’m sorry, but this is so fucking stupid. [Clappy: Preach Ex.] [Trophy: Yes Ex, it sure fucking is.] [steel: But I believe Ex could save this Lit.] You two are generally more mature than this, how could you pull this shit? [Trophy: No, everyone is 5 years old in this lit. HOLY CRAP 5 YEAR OLDS CUSS AND HAVE GUNS!] [Jjs: You know, I was going to nitpick this line for being forced-in swearing, but at least Ex sounds accurate here.] SOF: Now what, doc? [steel: The Exorcism of Bugs Bunny has resurfaced! The end is nigh!] [Jjs: Stand perfectly still, Dull SOF Bugs Bunny. At least you'll be finished sooner than later, whenever CD and 70s stop spewing exposition.] [Clappy: Now what, doc....now what, doc.....RUN YOU FUCKING CARTOON CHARACTER!] [Wumbo: Do one more cartoon reference. Just one more reference to a fucking cartoon. One more inane, unsupported, meaningless fucking callback to a fucking animated series. Do it and I swear to God I will get medieval up in this bitch.] SpongeSeb: I hate to be Captain Obvious, but they will probably kill the rest of us right now. [Jjs: "I hate to be Captain Obvious, but I'm going to be Captain Obvious."] [steel: SpongeSeb seems to be on a roll when it comes to showing nothing but self-awareness.] CD: Right you are, Seb! 70s and CDCB pulled out their guns and laughed. [Clappy: They pulled their guns out of their asses and instead of being sadistic killers and shooting everyone, they just stood back and laughed. God this really is a bad cartoon.] [steel: Excuse us while we take our daily dose of laughing gas.] Jelly: I think we should start running now, guys. [Trophy: Victim to using the smiley count: 2.] [Jjs: Jelly is now hilaryfan80's replacement. ] [steel: Well, don't just STAND THERE!] Termi: So let me get this straight...you killed people over being de-admined on a SpongeBob forum? Sounds legit. [Clappy: Even more fucking exposition? Why the hell do I even acknowledge it? It's not like they don't have guns out...and laughing.] [Trophy: Great now SOF has to take someone's being legit class. Who teaches that again?] [steel: Forget Wumbo giving him lessons, here's his Legitimacy teacher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxPVyieptwA] [Jjs: ...I'm not even going to riff this. I am no longer amused by the self-awareness of this lit anymore. At all.]70: Like I said, it hurt, [Clappy: Not as badly as this chapter is hurting me.] [Jjs: STOP! STOP! GAH! Stop with the "IT HURTS"! I can't take it anymore. Make us know you love being evil! What's the point of now feeling remorse when almost everyone is dead?!] [Wumbo: WILL YOU JUST KILL EVERYBODY ALREADY] and you knew how it hurt too Termi when you temporarily left after June 2010. Now I am afraid you all must pay the price. *points gun at everyone* [Trophy: WAIT A MINUTE!??! THAT MEANS IT'S POINTING AT HIM AND CD TOO! NOW IS THE PERFECT CHANCE TO KILL THE KILLERS DO SOMETHING!] [Jjs: 70s pointed his gun at EVERYONE? Damn, I want a gun like that. Wait...why don't they just shoot everyone right now then, since everyone is in the room? What is stopping them?] [Clappy: Since this is a cartoon, I bet what's stopping him is someone offering him a Scooby snack.] [Wumbo: GDSGHJHGNTTBBFDVSDFDZHGVHS] [steel: Oh my Neptune, what are you fictional SBC/SBM characters doing!? JUST RUN!] The SBCers and one SBMer began to flee and backed away. They all broke out of the cabin and scrammed, avoiding gun shots. [steel: Thank you for using common sense.] [Jjs: Wait, they were in the cabin?] [Clappy: I thought they were in Las Vegas...I thought they were in a forest...I thought they were in a park.] Ex hid behind the beach cabin, but then suddenly, CDCB caught him and pointed his gun at Ex. Ex: FUUUUUU- [Trophy: I knew Stinkoman wouldn't die so fast. HAH, PAY ME MY MONEY!] [Jjs: Oh well. Goodbye boring fictional Ex. At least you were close to being more in-character than other SBCers in this chapter, so that's something...it still sadly isn't enough to make up for the rest of it, though.]CDCB then shot Ex, and kicked his dead body aside. [Wumbo: My CD, what strong feet you have.] [steel: I believed Ex could save this lit! You've let me down!] Termi: Damn it guys, stop fooling, and start thinking of something, or there will be nobody left to save us. [Jjs: Yeah, Termi is right guys, stop getting yourselves killed! Do you have no respect?!] [Wumbo: All this lit has been was thinking, and planning, and re-thinking, and re-planning, and recapping the re-thinking and re-planning, and then recapping that. Bottom line is, you got yourself into this with thinking. Now what, DOC?] The remaining members then fled to Las Vegas, and they managed to hide in an alley. [Trophy: Didn't we start off in an alley?] [Jjs: Fleeing Las Vegas...to sta-I've already made this joke before, you know what I'll say.] [Clappy: I'll say it. Fled Las Vegas to escape to Las Vegas to stay in Las Vegas. God SOF, do you even know where Las Vegas is on a globe? Because I bet you think Las Vegas is an untouchable place that contains everything imaginable except no people apparently.] [Wumbo: No, I've got it. In this lit, there are many Las Vegases around the world, and they're just fleeing from one Las Vegas to another. That explains the continuous "fleeing to Las Vegas" references and the mismatched scenery throughout. I think they're in Las Vegas, Russia right now. Say hi to Vladdy for me.] [steel: Las Vegas, there is no escape.] SOF: Now what? [Clappy: You tell me writer. I bet you are going to conveniently get rid of someone else and I'm not even looking at what's below this as I type.] Stinkoman was trying to catch up to them, but it was too late, as 70s shot him in the chest with his gun, thus killing the last SBMer. [steel: With all the other SBMers being dead, I saw it coming.] [Trophy: SHOOT! Oh well, since he wasn't the next to die, I'll split the money with you four. *gives money* Now don't spend it all in one place.] [Jjs: If everyone fled to Las Vegas, why did Stinkoman just now fall behind? Whatever, huge ass pull aside, at least now SBM can stay out of this.] [Clappy: You know, besides being right about what I thought, it's really inconvenient that Stinkoman apparently can't run as fast as everyone else. How the hell did he escape that fire then? God this chapter hurts me in so many ways.] Steel: Looks like the SBMers are extinct now...and now we're the only six left. [Jjs: Extinct? The SBMers are dinosaurs? Yeah, because the 15 SBMers in this lit totally made up the whole population of SBMers.] [steel: And one of the six is me. Remember what I said when I considered myself the Duncan of this lit series?] SOF: Will we survive folks? Stay tuned for the next ATTWL chapter! [Wumbo: You are making me cry.] [Jjs: I'm starting to wonder if SOF thought he was writing a Total Drama Island fanfic at times.] [Clappy: I'm having very bad flashbacks to SOF's short lived "talk show".] Seb: That wasn't exactly the best time to break the 4th wall, SOF.. [Trophy: More logical thinking? HIGH FIVE SEB!] [steel: I'm still thinking that Seb thinks he's in the wrong lit.] SOF: soz [Trophy: Who says "soz"? OH JCM, YOU NEED TO TEACH HIM EVEN MORE GRAMMAR!] [steel: We should know that "soz" means sorry in a way. Anyways, on to the next chapter...] [Jjs: And of course, to end this cliche episode, let's throw in a cliche self-aware 4th wall gag.] [Clappy: And what better way to end this awful episode with an awful fourth wall joke. Can I please go back to the earlier chapters? Sure they were bad, but the series is getting even worse the deeper we get.] [Wumbo: HAHA, SOZ uhhhh we're all gonna die] Edited December 2, 2017 by jjsthekid 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 that was hilarious riff, guys 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 More great commentary. Steel's parody of Jesse and James' intro poem from Pokemon was genius. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Jjs Goodman Posted February 18, 2014 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 18, 2014 And Then There Were Less 3 1. The Arrival of the Party 2. Honor of Speech 3. The Madness Continues 4. Admins of the Dead 5. Escape to Las Vegas 6. Splitting Up Can Be a Bad Thing 7. Forest Dangers 8. Old Man to the Rescue 9. Interrogation: SBC Style 10. The Evil Truth 11. Chasing Death Spoiler Chapter 11 – Chasing Death [Jjs: It looks like SOF ran out of original titles, because ATTWL 2's finale was titled "Cheating Death"...loving the originality. There however, the title at least made sense. Here...one does not simply chase Death, SOF.] [Clappy: In Soviet Russia, death don't chase you. You chase death. Seriously though, the fuck?] We see the SBCers were running as fast as they could from 70s and CDCB, due to the reveal in the previous chapter. They then arrived outside of a familiar place...the place where this story started - the party mansion. [Trophy: GOTTA GO FAST!] [Jjs: It went from a hotel, to a house, and now to a party mansion. And weren't they just in an alley? Also, 70s and CD were revealed as the killers in Chapter 9, not Chapter 10. Not only that, but running "due to the reveal"? Oh, thanks for telling me that. When a killer is revealed, I thought you'd stand perfectly still and spew exposition instead of running. You know, like how all of Chapter 10 was.] [Clappy: At least they are finally doing something they should have done 2/3's toward the end of the last chapter. Next overlord reign, I'm going to request SOF to draw a map of his version of Las Vegas from ATTWL 3 because I would love to see what he visualizes it as.] [steel: YES, I JUST GOTTA KEEP SPRINTING!-] Termi: So we're back to where we started? This whole story is just going around in one huge circle. >.> [Jjs: >.> Hooray for more self-awareness. I also remember when Terminoob using that smiley was relevant. Sadly, as hard as you tried SOF, adding one smiley does not make someone in-character. >.>] [Clappy: This is an oval. IT HAS TO BE A CIRCLE!] [steel: Looks like they're back to CIRCLE ONE! Am I going too fast for you guys?] [Trophy: No Clappy, it has to be a mansion. Or hotel. Or house.] SOF: *facepalms* srsly? We're back to where we started! [Trophy: Why don't you: ] [Clappy: Oh I facepalmed alright. I FACEPALMED AT SOF GIVING HIMSELF THE SAME DIALOGUE TERMI JUST STATED!] [steel: Suburban Knights.] [JCM: srsly nbdy nds vwls r nythng] Steel: And WHY AM I STILL SURIVING?! [Grammar Police: Did you mean: surviving] [steel: Enough with the self-awareness already...] Jelly: Steel, you should be glad you aren't dead yet.. [Clappy: Because I can visualize Jelly sticking her tongue out casually while being chased by two uneventful killers.] [Trophy: Being dead is good when it comes to this lit, Jelly.] [JCM: I'd rather be dead than be "suriving" like Steel. That sounds awful.] Steel: Oh I was just saying that since the real Steel Sponge is desperately asking why this one is still alive. [Jjs: The self-awareness is this lit has officially nuked me. Whereas the 4th wall breaks in ATTWL 2 were clever, here they are unfunny, confusing, and made me incapable of riffing. Thanks SOF. You can take this away from here anyone else, because these self-inserts are so awful I can't even riff them.] [Clappy: Even I didn't make fourth wall jokes this painfully obvious. This is not a joke either because jokes should make me laugh. Not cry or get incredibly frustrated. This is beyond comprehensible because I don't understand why the fuck "this Steel" would not think he isn't real. This line pisses me off more than it should.] [steel: And now we got more. ATTWL is fake, I understand that. Are we also supposed to interpret that this is a parallel universe and that they know who the real SBCers are? It's just getting out of hand. Like yeah, make my surviving streak a plot point, sure. I just don't really care, but the story is starting to be reliant with all this self-awareness.] Seb: So what will we do to stop them, termi? [Jjs: Alright audience, what should they do?: A) Run away and go to the police Flee Las Vegas to stay in Las Vegas C) Stand perfectly still and spew exposition D) Hide in the mansion Take your pick.] [Clappy: The audience picks A, but SOF has overturned the audience decision and chose C.] [Trophy: I want E. All of the above.] [steel: I pick none of the above. I expect a curve ball to be thrown.] [JCM: It's too bad Seb doesn't have powers like the killers, or he could just magically put a crate in front of them.] Termi: My only decent guess right now is we could try to hide in the mansion. [Jjs: ...And now Termi basically contradicted himself about the whole story going in a circle. Seriously, what was the entire point of fleeing all around Las Vegas then?!? In fact, wasn't Termi the one in Chapter 5 who said "The killers know this mansion inside and out"?! INCONSISTENCY POLICE!] [Clappy: I assume SOF decided to let his characters go out for a stroll was the only reason why he would return them to the mansion.] [steel: Basically, this story is the "Let's walk around Las Vegas until we die" kind of story. The characters at least do something revolutionary, but still, they sure do not look like they're winning.] SOF: But they knew the mansion inside and out like THAT! We could try to outsmart them though. [Clappy: They knew the mansion? I think you mean "they know the mansion".] [Jjs: Yeah, and it's not like they are going to know the mansion inside and out like THAT this time around either, bro.] Steel: SOF, you’re a genius. [Clappy: That's right, Steel. Feed his ego. Despite the glaring lack of logic in SOF's previous comment.] [JCM: Outsmarting people is an idea only a genius could come up. A genius and anybody who watches Saturday morning cartoons.] SOF: I am? [Trophy: Hell naw you ain't!] [Jjs: Even SOF himself is surprised at that remark.] [steel: Sounds kind of in-character in a way, I'm usually the defensive type of SBC user. Moving on...] Seb: Perhaps we could set a Scooby-Doo style trap and catch them? [Trophy: *kills Seb*] [steel: Congrats Trophy, you're now the killer.] [Jjs: Two episodes in a row with Scooby-Doo references. Might as well have SOF be Scooby at this point since he loves giving himself so much dialogue.] [Clappy: And Then There Were Less: The Animated Series.] OMJ: Jolly ideas, SOF and Seb! [Pops: OH JOLLY GOOD SHOW!] [steel: Holy jolly good ideas, Batman!] [JCM: "Jolly" isn't the adjective I'd use. Obvious, maybe. Unoriginal, definitely.] Meanwhile, we see CDCB and 70s hunting the gang down in the streets of Las Vegas. [Elmer Fudd: I've got you know wasca- OH DAMN IT, I WANTED TO KILL THE WABBIT!] [Jjs: And meanwhile meanwhile, what are the police doing while two killers are on the loose in the streets? I can only imagine... *Scene cuts to two cops at a restaurant in Las Vegas* Cop #1: What should we get? Cop #2: Hm....I think this place has....pizza. Yeah, let's order that. Ghost of Teenj: Me too! Cop #1: Sure, the pizza here is pretty beautiful. *Waiter delivers their food* Waiter: Enjoy. Cop #1: This pizza is delicious! Ghost of Teenj: I agree! Cop #2: Agreed. But apparently there's two homicidal maniacs on the loose in Las Vegas killing a bunch of weird people. What should we do? Cop #1: I dunno man, I hear those two killers have god powers or some shit. That's pretty scary. Ghost of Teenj: I agree! Cop #2: You're right. The kids being hunted should have come to us while they still had the chance, anyways, so that's their loss if they die. Want more pizza? Cop #1: Meh, why not? And PLEASE don't take this too seriously! Ghost of Teenj: Me too! OH NO! *dies from the exploding slot machine's ghost explosion* Trophy: No thanks, I want chicken now. Steel: And maybe later, we'll settle for some coffee and doughnuts. ...For some reason, that wouldn't surprise me.] 70s: Shit, where are they? [Trophy: If you want shit, look up your ***holes then.] [steel: 70s is looking for the bathroom...] [JCM: You spent the last ten episodes tracking people down, and you're choosing today to suck at it?] CD: I don't see them anywhere, so I can't answer you there either, my dear friend. [Jjs: Dear friend? I know damn well that CD and 70s were never friends as staff members, and this is coming from someone who knows CD very well. Being killers automatically makes them friends? In that case, I guess Jack the Ripper and The Zodiac Killer could be friends.] [steel: And eventually, they'll hire the Green River Killer.] 70s: Wait, what is this? *they see a trail of candy wrappers* [Clappy: Oh how convenient! A piece of exposition from out of nowhere.] CD: Looks like someone wasn't too careful cleaning up litter! [Trophy: WHERE IS ALL THIS LITTER COMING FROM!??! Sorry, just had to.] [Jjs: Pollution, am I right? Wait, was that supposed to be a joke?] The two followed the trail to the mansion. Jelly: CRAP guys, they found us! [JCM: Such language!] Seb: God dangit, I knew I should have just thrown these candy wrappers in a normal trash can. Sorry guys. :/ [Jjs: I think I just gained a headache, tumor, coma, and death sentence from that. Just..stop while you're right there, pal.. Alright, no, just no. SpongeSebastian just randomly happens to get candy wrappers, leaves an ENTIRE TRAIL OF THEM to the mansion (seriously, how could Seb leave an entire trail of candy wrappers to the mansion from the city, was the pizza not filling for him?), despite knowing CD AND 70S ARE FOLLOWING THEM, and now it's pulled out of SOF's ass to justify his death. You don't even deserve a call from the Ass Pull Police because of how jaw-droppingly dumb this was. You know, that brings me to another massive problem I have with this lit if it isn't obvious enough. All the Idiot Ball given to members to justify their deaths. Examples include: Spongedude, Spongey34, JCM, Tvguy, Myself, Clappy, Wumbo, many more, and now it heavily shows with Seb's eventual death. But a trail of candy wrappers? Damn you Episode 11, damn you, you vile fiend.] [Clappy: Jjs, how dare you compare this death to all of the other idiotic deaths previously mentioned. This by far is the biggest slap in the face from the entire show. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME SOF? CANDY WRAPPERS!? WHEN DID THEY EVEN HAVE CANDY TO BEGIN WITH? WAS THE PIZZA NOT FILLING ENOUGH FOR THEM? OR HOW ABOUT THE DRINK YOU WENT TO GO RANDOMLY GET IN EPISODE 5? DID IT NOT SATISFY YOUR QUENCH? WHEN THE FUCK DID SPONGESEBASTIAN GET CANDY? WHY WOULD HE EVEN EAT CANDY AT A TIME LIKE THIS? Are you stressed out Seb? Is your life being on the line leading you to stress eating that candy you pulled right out of your ass? HOW THE HELL DID HE EVEN SURVIVE THIS LONG INTO THE SHOW WITH THAT INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF ANTI-LOGIC? MY GOD. THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST IDIOTIC DEATH TO ANY CHARACTER IMAGINABLE. DID YOU GET PAID TO ADVERTISE IN YOUR LIT BY AN ENVIRONMENTAL AGENCY ABOUT THE PERKS OF NOT LITTERING? GOD THIS DEATH SUCKS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF KIT KAT BARS. GIVE ME A BREAK SOF.] [Trophy: Here we go again... I think that just gave me brain cancer. OW, MY HEAD IT HURTS SO MUCH! OH IF I EVER HAVE GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDKIDS THEIR HEADS WILL HURT FROM THIS! IT IS THAT BAD AND PULLED OUT OF NOWHERE!] [steel: If all the other riffers are going to literally explode over a petty and idiotic character death, THEN I MIGHT AS WELL! SpongeSebastian survived as long as could and his justified swan song is a trail of objects to be followed through!? Being a cliche, it's executed horribly when they're at the brink of being threatened to death by the killers in this lit! Worse thing is, like they all said before, it's a trail of candy wrappers out of nowhere! It feels like I'm seeing a parody of horror movie characters with their over-exaggerated lack of common sense and knowledge themselves! Sorry SOF, but may this be a good reminder what goes wrong in a work of fiction like this. Leaving-a-trail-of-objects cliche, welcome to my list...sorta.] [JCM: A "normal" trash can. As opposed to the trash can he threw the candy wrappers into instead that looked exactly like the street.] SOF: Told ya guys, we have to outsmart them. [Trophy: So leaving a trail = outsmarting killers. FUCK MATH LOGIC!] [Clappy: Mr. Writer, you don't even deserve to back-sass because HIS DEATH IS YOUR FAULT!] [Jjs: And you know, with all the build-up to outsmarting them with a trap, I could have assumed the candy wrappers was a part of their trap. But nope, it gives us the biggest ass pull in spin-off/lit history. With the talk of candy wrappers and traps, I could have assumed this would happen: ] [Trophy: These guys are fakers, THE KILLER IS JAMES WOODS! ] [steel: And while you were doing that, SpongeSeb just won himself a Darwin Award.] 70: Well, I guess I know who is next on the kill list...Seb and termi. Sorry termi, this is going to hurt the most, but it must be done. [Jjs: They have a kill list...and Seb and Termi are exactly next? Why the fuck don't they just kill everyone right there and then instead of only two people?! PLOT HOLE POLICE!] [Clappy: Obvious jjs. The lit is not called And Then There Were Less. No, it's And Then There Was SOF...the animated series.] [JCM: Seb I get, but where did Termi come from? Is he just rolling dice?] Seb: Why me? CLARENCE, I WANNA LIVE AGAIN! [Jjs: Why you? Well for one, the pointless It's A Wonderful Life reference. And two, FOR LEAVING A TRAIL OF CANDY WRAPPERS. I still can't get over that.] [steel: I AM KING OF THE WORLD! HURRAH FOR MOVIE QUOTES!] Termi: So you think you can kill the original founder of SBC for the third time in a row? Good luck pal. [Trophy: Sure, why not?] [Jjs: Instead of being a smartass, you could run instead.] [JCM: COME ON SHOOT ME I DARE YA PAL *gets shot*] 70s: Well I warned you bud. *shoots Seb and termi* [Trophy: He shot them both at the same time? Explain Video Count: 3.] [Clappy: I bet he shoots both of them at the same time because this is a cartoon.] [steel: Poor SpongeSeb. He never felt that he was really in the mood to be in ATTWL 3 anyways.] Steel: I'm still not dead yet? Eh, whatever. Let's get out of here! [Jjs: Good question Steel. I already pointed out how dumb it is that they can't just kill all of you. Does the final level of this lit only allow four users and the two killers in the mansion?] [steel: The self-awareness, it burns!] [JCM: Steel Sponge really wants to die, it seems. I don't blame him.] They remaining four SBCers ran into the mansion and split all over the place. SOF hid in the dining hall, Steel went outback near the golf course, and OMJ and Jelly hid in a storage room. [Trophy: Hey jjs, I bet Steel can talk to your dead body there, if it's still there.] [Clappy: And I went to the liquor cabinet because I need a ton of alcohol to even try to begin to understand the rest of this.] [JCM: Both OMJ and Jelly went into the storage room? My shippy senses are tingling.] OMJ: Welp, the final 4 is all here. I wish y'all the best of luck on who lives in the end. [Jjs: No, seriously. Did SOF thinking he was writing a Total Drama Island fanfic? The way he is treating the final four as some competition makes me think so.] [Clappy: You know, it's really pissing me off how SOF pretty much makes this into a reality show.] [steel: Maybe the killers have one million dollars up their sleeves. And maybe also that all the past victims are not dead and just some kind of test to tick us off...maybe not the last part, but I'm placing my bet that Steel wins the million dollars. There better be prize money...] Jelly: Heh..hopefully, let's just keep quiet. [Jjs: Yup, Jelly is now the new hilaryfan80. ] [hilaryfan80: Can I be the new hilaryfan80 too? ] [: o.o o.o] [JCM: Oh. Period. Oh.] Steel: All alone out here...AND I'M IN THE SURVIVING 4? HOW DO I MAKE IT THIS LONG? Yeah, I'll be quiet now, since that might attract attention. [Jjs: Yes, we get it, Steel always makes it to the end. You know, this episode might as well have been called "Fourth Wall", because it was basically torn down in this episode.] [Clappy: And Steel always makes it to the end unintentionally in my previous installments (except the killer in 2 obviously). I bet it was SOF's goal to make Steel go to the very end with SOF just to keep Steel's streak going.] [steel: Thank goodness fictional self, because you're right. Stop talking!] SOF: Heh...they'll never find me behind the stage curtain. [Jjs: Just hope a speaker doesn't crush you like it did to tvguy. How I wish it would happen though, such cruel and great irony.] [Clappy: 70S! CD! SOF IS BEHIND THE STAGE CURTAIN! MAKE HIM PAY FOR THIS CRUEL FATE WE ARE GOING THROUGH!] [steel: Oh crap...pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!] [JCM: Just hope the stage curtain isn't as beautiful as the stage itself, or the killers won't resist.] Those are the surviving four...who will make it out alive, and who will stop CDCB and 70s' evil deeds? Find out next time, folks. [Jjs: Ugh, only two more episodes to go of And Then There Were SOF Island. This whole episode may have been short, but good god, it was the worst yet. Why was this episode even made (fucking candy wrappers)? Did SOF just have an extra spot open before the finale and made...this? Whatever, I'm still sticking in for the finale, because boy do I have a mouthful..] [steel: That...is totally unrealistic. Absolutely redonkulous.] [Clappy: SpongeSebastian's death alone makes this chapter unforgettabe shit. Fuck this chapter and fuck all these Looney Tunes references.] [Trophy: Explain Count: 3 Count: a lot Headache Count: a ton ] 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Ooh, piece of candy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 lol you guys totally killed this chapter, great work 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clappy Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Pleasure as always gentleman. Can't wait to read the other two riffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metal Snake Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 More awesome riffs. The cop gag was really funny and everyone was gold at Seb and Termi's demise because of candy wrappers. XD Also, there's one line I can't get over... "Termi: So you think you can kill the original founder of SBC for the third time in a row? Good luck pal." Because EVERYONE knows that 70s and CD killed terminoob in the first two ATTWLs. >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 RIP teenjs' ghost and the slot machine's ghost. They will be missed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 My god, how many times does 70s say "this one will hurt the most"? Simple Plan would make less whiny killers than him. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 My god, how many times does 70s say "this one will hurt the most"? Simple Plan would make less whiny killers than him. One time for each day your username was Austin Layers. Now all this lit needs is an Austin Layers Jr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jjs Goodman Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 And Then There Were Less 3 1. The Arrival of the Party 2. Honor of Speech 3. The Madness Continues 4. Admins of the Dead 5. Escape to Las Vegas 6. Splitting Up Can Be a Bad Thing 7. Forest Dangers 8. Old Man to the Rescue 9. Interrogation: SBC Style 10. The Evil Truth 11. Chasing Death 12. Final ATTWL Battle (Part 1) Spoiler Chapter 12 – Final ATTWL Battle (Part 1) [Jjs: The final battle? Well, it better be a damn good one then, for everything this lit put me through.] [Clappy: Why do I seriously doubt this is a battle? This title is already misleading bullshit.] [Wumbo: After this, a lit should be made detailing the inner battle every riffer had to go through for this lit.] We last saw the final four survivors hiding in the mansion as CDCB and 70s were hunting them down. [Clappy: Twelve chapters in and I think I just found another comparison to this bad lit. It's the 1960s Batman show without the lame fun. I mean the pointless recaps? Check. The cartoony "fight scenes"? Check. The laughably bad dialogue? Check. Comparing SOF to Adam West though is an insult to Adam West.] [Wumbo: Gosh, Clappy. I only wish they didn't substitute campiness with atrocity!] [JCM: (singing) Dananananananana badlit!] Jelly: Yah, we're doomed. >_> [Metal Snake: Aww, turn that shifty look into a nifty look! At least the lit’s almost over!] [Jjs: Instead of bitching about it, you could try to just get out of there while you are still alive. I can see Termi's genius plan worked well.] [Wumbo: I can see termi's smiley influence is working its magic, too. >_>] OMJ: Don't worry Jelleh, nobody has ever found ol' BROMJ since the Chum Famine of '59. [Jjs: Haha...a SpongeBob reference...haha?] [JCM: BROMJ? Bald, Rusty Old Man Jenkins? I don't know why anybody would want to find somebody with that name.] CDCB: Come out come out wherever you are.. [Wumbo: Oh, did we... did we switch perspectives? Thanks for the heads-up... not.] [Metal Snake: I’ve got some yummy treats for you…] [Clappy: I got candy in my van.] SOF is still hiding behind the curtain in the dining room. SOF: At least I'll be safe here, and what's this? *sees a chocolate bar on the ground* [Metal Snake: Oh. I really did have treats.] [Jjs: ...Did you say...CHOCOLATE? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyKLGA37MBU Well what do you know, this dining room does have more than just pizza. Now the real question is: Why is there a bar of chocolate on the ground? Did SpongeSebastian leave behind some leftover candy? Actually, I hope not, I'm still recovering from that god-awful ass pull. *shudders*] [JCM: Chocolate bars, crates, notes! The killers just won't give this floor a break.] Mm, chocolate...ew, it takes like old. [Metal Snake: The old commit theft...like chocolate? What the...] [Clappy: Old has a taste? Do I even need to point out what's wrong with this line besides SOF adding a new taste?] [Wumbo: It tastes like... burning...] *sees the expiration date was November 7th, 2012* GROSS. [Metal Snake: Time stamp for this episode… Posted 09 November 2012 - 09:23 PM Yup, that’s some really old chocolate bro…] [Jjs: With CD and 70s' time powers, a two day old chocolate bar is very stale.] [Wumbo: Does chocolate really expire anyway? Like, to the point of "this is not safe to eat"? Doesn't it just get stale?] *throws it to the side, but 70s sees it on the ground* [Clappy: First an awful death sequence and now this? Can we please...PLEASE...PLEASE GET RID OF ALL THINGS CHOCOLATE IN THIS LIT. IT LEADS TO AWFUL SEQUENCES LIKE THIS ONE! FUCK YOU CHOCOLATE!] [JCM: That's what you get for wasting a good, two-day-old piece of chocolate! Your mother would be ashamed of you!] SOF: Uh oh.. [Jjs: How funny, since SOF claimed in the previous episode he'd never be found. Looks SOF gave himself the Idiot Ball, ironically. Now maybe SOF will finally have the balls to kill himself off...nah, I'm getting ahead of myself.] [Metal Snake: The song “Dumb Ways to Die” could use a few more lyrics thanks to this lit…] Meanwhile… Steel: Well, I'm all alone here, in the outback..and why is it so cold? *shivers* [Metal Snake: Speaking of songs, Steel probably took a break from hiding to try to write one…] [Jjs: So is the "outback" still a golf course? Maybe Steel can take a break and play a few holes with my ghost.] [Wumbo: Outback? Ah, now we're in Las Vegas, Australia. The origin of the lit.] Steel looks around and could have sworn he saw someone. [JCM: Looks like Jjs was right about his character. Not even death can keep him away from the golf course.] 70s: Hmm where are they.. *sees someone* [Clappy: Will Someone please make up her mind if she wants to be in this lit or not?] Odd, I thought I saw Steel.. [Metal Snake: ...Did the killer’s apparent power over time and space just...backfire?! Where’s the part where Steel ran and/or hid?!] [Jjs: Not only that, but wasn't 70s just in the dining room? Teleportation powers?] [Clappy: Not only does 70s have apparent teleportation powers, but so does Someone.] OMJ felt like he needed to let something out. [JCM: Don't worry. If I smell something, I'll wink and say the dog did it.] OMJ: TO HELL WITH THIS, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! [Metal Snake: So much for OMJ’s chill “personality”. Right now, he’s about as headstrong as Astro Man from Mega Man 8.] [Wumbo: *about as headstrong as the riffers of this lit] [Jjs: Not only is this out of character for OMJ, but weren't we just outside? I think even Tommy Wiseau himself would be laughing at all these mismatched scenes.] [Clappy: Jesus Christ, way to make OMJ into a fucking quitter. Good god these characters. I hate all of them. These aren't the SBCers I know.] Jelly: ..Nice job. -.- [Metal Snake: I’m no longer amused by the self-awareness in this lit...because at this point, the characters are redefining the phrase, “not giving a shit.”.] [Jjs: Hooray for more internet emoticons. -.- I seriously wonder if SOF was trying to parody my old writing style from tv.com.] [Wumbo: Where's your McCartney now, Jelly?] [JCM: Dash. Period. Dash.] CD then heard OMJ yell and he entered in the storage room. [Jjs: Now let me ask this: Where exactly is the storage room?] [Clappy: Probably in SOF's favorite location. Next to plot convenience.] [Wumbo: Wait, no one's questioning the hearing capabilities of Compact Discs?] CD: Aha! Found ya! [Wumbo: Was this really worth an "aha"? He yelled. Do you say "aha" when you find a marshmallow in Lucky Charms, too?] [JCM: It's too bad OMJ was there and not BROMJ. BROMJ hasn't been found since the Chum Famine of '59.] CD began to shoot at them, but they both dodged as OMJ and Jelly escaped from CD. [Metal Snake: Don’t you just love it when bad guys can’t shoot straight for the convenience of the plot?] [Wumbo: Great, now they're not even original plot holes anymore.] [Jjs: Either CD has a terrible aim or Jelly and OMJ are ninjas, because there's no way they could easily outrun a bullet.] [Clappy: Or this is an awful lit.] Steel: What was that yelling noise? Did Rusty enter this lit? [Metal Snake: Oh come on. Don’t become self-aware to the point where you’ll start riffing this too.] [Jjs: Well, Steel is acting pretty smug when his life is on the line, but no matter, we have to shoehorn in a reference to another lit!] [Clappy: I would love to picture reading that lit over this one.] [Wumbo: But also, what in the hell does that even mean... oh, forget it, just forget it.] *walks inside the mansion and sees Jelly and OMJ being chased by CD* [Jjs: Now we're doing a Scooby-Doo door chase scene? It honestly wouldn't surprise me if SOF did that at this point.] [Clappy: And then they unmask CD and figure out it was Old Man Smithers this whole time.] [Wumbo: Cue the Yakety Sax.] [JCM: *walks back out*] We cut back to the dining room, and we see 70s approach the curtain SOF was hiding behind. [Metal Snake: INCONSISTENCY POLICE! Why didn’t 70s check the curtain as soon as he found the chocolate SOF threw in the beginning of the chapter?! Was the 70s looking for Steel a few moments ago his good twin brother or something?! No. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of all the inconsistencies in this lit, I’m officially putting a theory of the killer’s power over space and time backfiring and causing a rift in the universe on the table. IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME AT THIS POINT.] [Jjs: Exactly what Metal Snake said. My only other guesses are that: 70s has super speed, or he made a clone of himself.] [Clappy: To go off Metal Snake's 70s theory. One 70s can be Calvin Reynolds. The other 70s can be Travis Kirtley. That's the only explanation I have for how the hell 70s can be in two places at once. Either that or SOF NEEDS TO READ OVER HIS OWN WORK BEFORE POSTING THIS SHIT.] [Wumbo: I'd rather re-read 70s orgasming over Naya Rivera at this point.] SOF: Uh oh, here comes 70s. [70s: Hmm I wonder if that's SOF behind this curtain. Herp da derp, sounds like SOF.] [Wumbo: Uh oh, whatever chance I had of escaping is shot at this point.] [JCM: "I should probably stop commenting on what's happening and get the hell out of here. Or I can just continue talking to myself. Either/or."] SOF the quickly ran and 70s fired at him, but missed. [Wumbo: Oh yeah, there's that. Convenient incompetence of the killers who killed like 90% of your original group, why not, whatever, who cares.] [Jjs: 70s and CD really need to stay after for my Learn How To Shoot A Gun class.] [Clappy: Oh my god. That's a fucking awful escape attempt. SOF outran a man with a gun? That sure didn't work out well for Stinkoman two chapters ago. Are you fucking kidding me? THAT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE. SOF IS NOT USAIN BOLT. HE'S NOT THE FASTEST MAN ON THE PLANET. I'M TIRED OF EVEN COMPARING THIS TO CARTOON. IT'S JUST FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE AT THIS RATE. I AM FULLY CONVINCED SOF THINKS HE IS GOD. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE IS ABLE TO OUTRUN A BULLET.] 70s: Damnit, what a fast lil' Canadian you are. [Metal Snake: Just make the reason why he’s so fast because he plays hockey while you’re at it.] [Clappy: 70s, please don't rub SOF's ego even more so than he already has with this lit.] [Wumbo: You're not Donovan Bailey. Am I right? Am I right? No? Okay.] [JCM: SOF should audition for the track team if he survives this.] SOF ran into the hallway, and bumped into Steel. Steel: Hey now, watch where you are going. [Clappy: Yeah, watch where you're going. I'm running away from the same 70s you are...or am I?] [Jjs: That's a good question Clappy. Steel and SOF both ran away from 70s in different rooms...MINDFUCK.] [Metal Snake: No running in the halls! Someone could get hurt if the killer doesn’t get to them first!] [Wumbo: You got your exposition in my plot device! No, you got your plot device in my exposition! The only difference between this and the Reese's commercial is that it ends up tasting twice as bad.] [JCM: I agree, Wumbo. This lit is really tasting like old right now.] SOF: Soz, [Wumbo: Stop that.] I was running away from 70s, but we have to get out of the mansion. [Jjs: Speaking of which, where is 70s? Is he too intrigued by that chocolate bar to kill them? Or is he too intrigued by the golf course outback, depending if he is still in two places at once?] [Wumbo: He chose to spare SOF, the fastest Canadian in the north, so that he could go on to win Olympic sprinting races.] [JCM: He probably remembered that he was missing the latest episode of Glee.] Steel: Yeah but we got a bigger problem. *points to Jelly and OMJ being chased by CD* We better stop them. [Jjs: CD is still chasing them? I guess this really has turned into a Scooby-Doo door chase scene...] [Wumbo: I thought I heard Yakety Sax continue to play in the background.] [Clappy: Okay, time out. Obviously SOF didn't think of this because clearly he was too busy coming up with that "humorous" chocolate bar scene, but did he realize that the villains have guns? They can shoot them. They can end these awful chase scenes so much quicker. Even if they fired and missed.] SOF: You bet, Steel Phineas Steel: Heh. [Metal Snake: They’re not gonna do shit. I’ll bet money.] OMJ and Jelly then reached the end of the hall and knew they were doomed. [Jjs: "Knew they were doomed" Jesus Christ, might as well just surrender themselves right there and then with this negative attitude.] [JCM: That was the most boring Scooby-Doo chase sequence ever.] OMJ: Ah, come on stupid mansion can't there be some type of hidden passage? [Jjs: I bet whoever designed this strange mansion sure had a hidden passage in mind. Considering all the other oddities in this mansion and the fact this is an animated series though, it's not too far-fetched.] Jelly: No, but let's try splitting up. [Metal Snake: The cliches! Just have them get killed in a bedroom while they’re having sex at this point!] [JCM: Splitting up is the gang's answer to everything. I can see why. Look at how well it's turned out!] OMJ: Alright, you go that way, and I'll go this way. [Clappy: Try to see it my way. Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?] Jelly: Sounds good to me. [Metal Snake: Especially after it worked so well the first million times and in uh...what was that episode called again? Episode 6...Sitting Up can be a Bad Thing? No, no...it was...] [Jjs: On that note, if it is a dead end...how could they split up?! We really need SOF to make a map out of this mansion, because I have a hard time believing anything that is being said about it.] Steel and SOF are still trying to figure out how to stop CD and 70s. [Wumbo: You don't need to stop sudden incompetence. Whatever you do will hinder this situation.] [JCM: Instead of trying to fight crazy people with guns, how about you just leave while you're not being targeted? No? It was worth a shot.] SOF: I got an idea, let's build something to stop them. [Clappy: I call this one the convenient plot hole resolver-inator. It can help me get out of the stupidest of plot holes in the worst way imaginable.] [Metal Snake: Well, I’ll be damned. Still doubt it’ll do shit however.] [Wumbo: "I've got an idea, let's vague something to stop them. Vaguely."] Steel: Great, and what would we build to stop them? SOF: Easy, we do it P&F style. [Jjs: Great, now I figured out what this is. It's a Phineas & Ferb episode that is parodying Scooby-Doo. Except it's not doing it right. At all.] [JCM: For a second or two, I thought that he'd come up with an original plan. Silly me!] Steel: I am in the mood to help with a P&F related plan, but aren't you too young for that? [Metal Snake: Yeah, especially considering Phineas & Ferb’s intended audience.] [Clappy: I'm surprised SOF didn't respond to this with a no, no I'm not. I mean he's already made every single bad animated joke possible.] SOF: We need to build a contraption to save them somehow. [Wumbo: "That doesn't really answer my question, like, at all."] [Clappy: THE REDUNDANCY. IT'S KILLING ME MAN. JUST STOP. STOP. STOP!] [Jjs: Or here's a better idea: Why not go to the police instead of pondering the whole episode away once again? Then again, the police are still probably too busy not giving a shit.] [Metal Snake: Hooray for redundant dialogue...this lit can never have enough of it...] [Redundancy Department: Redundancy of Redundancy Department would like to have a word with you SOF in that house which is a house on the street on this block, in this town.] Steel: I don’t know…. [JCM: Somebody in this story doesn't know something? That's like a once-in-a-thirty-second occurrence!] SOF: Trust me, the plan will work. [Jjs: Oh boy, trusting SOF with this plan was like trusting SOF to write this.] [Clappy: Which is funny Jjs, because I trusted SOF to write this. Look where that got me.] [Metal Snake: I have the utmost confidence in you lad. *runs to betting stand with a wad of cash* PUT IT ALL ON THEM FAILING HORRIBLY!] [Wumbo: WHAT PLAN? THERE IS NO PLAN! You can't just say "let's build a contraption". There's no how, why, what, anything!] Meanwhile…. [JCM: In a world that makes even less rational sense...] OMJ: Hmm, if I were termi, I would be safe in this room. *enters* Oh, it is a bedroom. [Wumbo: I can't make sense of this at all. "If I were termi, I would be safe in this room." What does it mean? Double rainbow, oh my God. ...hey, permit me to make YouTube references in response to the cartoon references throughout this. But seriously, is OMJ drugged? This sounds like something someone totally high out of their mind would say. It makes no logical sense. Why are my expectations still so high?] [Clappy: Maybe it's me just not giving a fuck about what goes on anymore, but didn't they see Termi die right in front of them? I mean I know he's OLD MAN Jenkins, but he's not BLIND MAN Jenkins. ] [Metal Snake: If I were termi, I’d be safe in this room...and it’s a bedroom… … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjfkynJ4hbI ] [JCM: If you were BROMJ, you'd be safe in any room. BROMJ 2016!] Just then…. 70s: Knock knock... OMJ: Aw gosh damnit, how did y'all find me? [Metal Snake: Did y’all use your fancy-shmancy space n time powahs to turn me into a country bumpkin?] [Jjs: OMJ is now a Hawaiian Texan.] [Clappy: Maybe he learned some Southern from whoever rented him that pick-up truck.] [Wumbo: What is "gosh damnit"? You allow yourself to curse all you want as long as The Lord doesn't get involved?] [JCM: OMJ, you idiot! You're supposed to say "who's there?"] 70s: I didn't know actually, I was just seeing if anyone was in the room..thanks for revealing yourself. [Metal Snake: *sigh* I know this lit’s a horror comedy, but...really? Candy wrappers, chocolate, and now OMJ giving himself away TWICE?! Am I reading ATTWL or watching a Scary Movie sequel?] [Clappy: At least there were good Scary Movie sequels. Definitely not this. This is more like those bad spoof movies from 2 of the writers of the Scary Movies. Yep, I'm comparing this to Friedberg/Seltzer spoof movie.] [Jjs: "In other words, I was just knocking on this convenient room, and you conveniently revealed yourself. Now, let your conveniently planned death begin, as I gloat about it and not actually do anything for convenience." How do you like that one, smart guy?] OMJ: Shit...and you're going to kill me now, right? I accept my fate with dignity. [Metal Snake: OMJ is now a venerable knight. Why are time and space powers so weird...] [Clappy: OMJ sure is coming off more like a wimp than a knight.] [Wumbo: But you didn't die in the name of sarcasm! NO DEATH SHALL COMPARE.] [JCM: Wumbo knows where it's at!] 70s: Sorry dude, this one will hurt the most, but it must be done. Bye OMJ. [Clappy: Jesus Christ. Make up your mind already if you are going to make 70s remorseful or not.] 70s was about to kill OMJ, but just then, 70s heard a noise. [Jjs: Holy shit, 70s must REALLY not care that much about this whole revenge plot if his killer instinct is immediately distracted by a noise.] 70s: What is going on? Is this a trick of yours? [Clappy: Probably pulled it out of spongebobiscool's trapdoor of doom.] [Metal Snake: Hooray, STUPID VILLAINS ALL TALK AND NO SHOOT. Come on, don’t tell me you weren’t expecting the best cliche of all.] [JCM: (winks) It was the dog... OMJ did pass gas, right?] OMJ: I honestly don't know. [JCM: Well, I guess that answers it.] [Wumbo: Wow, what an accurate summary of this lit. Thanks, What The Hell Is My Personality Supposed To Be Man Jenkins.] 70s walked out of the room to see Steel and SOF come charging down the hallway with their contraption. It was a cart like catapult with a small cage on top it. [Metal Snake: The imagination...is stunning.] [Jjs: Now I may ask: Where did SOF and Steel manage to get a cart (that somehow is a catapult the fuck?) and cage in a mansion?] [Wumbo: What in the hell is a cart-like catapult?] [Clappy: ......] [JCM: Cart like catapult. JCM hate description.] 70s then pulled out his gun and shot at the wheels of it, and it began to collapse, but SOF released the cage as Steel and SOF jumped off the collapsing contraption. The cage flung at 70s and landed on him, making his gun go flying to the side, out of his reach. [Jjs: Instead of simply killing a killer, let's just trap them in a cage instead. Come on, don't tell me this isn't a brilliant idea.] [Clappy: ........] [Wumbo: Heck, I don't have anything for this. I'll just join the Ellipse Train of Astonishing Confusion with Clappy: ......................] Steel: Wow, didn't expect that to work. [Metal Snake: Neither did I. I call bullshit on losing my bet.] [Wumbo: NOBODY EXPECTED THAT TO WORK BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T WORK!] 70s: What the? Let me outta here. [Clappy: ...........] [JCM: It's fair to assume that they would let the person who tried to kill them for the past 12 episodes go free just because he asked.] OMJ: Thanks my brothas. [Wumbo: Oh, are we not talking like cowboys anymore, Old Man Inconsistent? Well, that just rustles my grub.] Steel: No problem, it was SOF's idea. Of course, we could have made it more original, but we had to hurry, so.. [Metal Snake: This self-awareness gag has gone from old to dead and buried. Please leave it in the grave.] [Clappy: ............................ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? That has to be up there in terms of one of the stupidest moments in spin-off/lit history and there are plenty of stupid moments I've read. I've read a spin-off full of smiley spam. I've read SOF rip off four different lits in one finale. I've read Squidward light a fart on fire. I've even read the whole death of SpongeSebastian. But holy fucking crap. This might be tied with the chocolate scene for one of the most absolutely moronic moments I've read from this. Not only did SOF not even explain what the fuck this contraption is and what it does, 70s is stupid enough to get himself caught in the cage from this absolute god awful gizmo. SOF, if you ever and I mean ever decide to write another story ever again, I seriously hope you've learn to take time and develop your shit because this is just inexplicably heinous. You created a contraption that has absolutely no design feature and didn't even bother to explain what it does except catch 70s in a cage. Is it a wooden robot? Is it a cage launcher? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT DO? I can forgive you for adding a bunch of random bullshit features to mansions. I can forgive you for not knowing a damn thing about Las Vegas. But this is Part 1 of your finale. You have to bring it home for the long haul and leave us a lasting impression. So far you haven't done that. But this impression? I get no impression from it at all. Out of all the random convenient things you have given yourself whether it be unnecessary dialogue, convenient clues, or even additional rooms in a mansion. At least those had some slight explaining. This contraption has to be the most half-assed thing you have made as a setting or an item. How you caught 70s has to be the most cartoonish piece of shit I have read. That sequence was just too terrible for me. I'm done. I give up. This rant has gone on long enough...continue.] [JCM: ...what Claps said.] 70s: You call this trapping..? [Metal Snake: Is 70s speaking for Fred from Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated?] [Wumbo: NO, NOBODY CALLS THIS TRAPPING BECAUSE... aw, what's the use?] SOF: Sorry 70s, but this is for your own good. [Jjs: Congrats man, you caught him....now what are you going to do? Audience! A) They will turn him into the police (who are still fascinated with that pizza) They will kill him C) They will have a lengthy exposition talk D) SOF will write an idiotic way to release 70s Take your pick.] [Clappy: For his own good? What are you? His mother?] [Wumbo: Now you'll stay in that cage for time-out and think about what you've done, and no TV for three weeks.] [JCM: SOF traps you because he loves you, 70s.] Jelly then approached the gang, wondering what was going on in the hallway. [Metal Snake: Go away! We’re not decent!] Jelly: OMJ, you're alive! OMJ: Yup, thanks to Steel and SOF I am. [Clappy: Don't forget their contraption...*breathes in and out*] [JCM: But mostly SOF. Isn't SOF the greatest?] SOF: Heh, I feel honored to do this. [Metal Snake: What SOF probably said when he was writing this.] [Clappy: You know, if I ever re-read this again, I'm going to keep count how many times SOF's character comes off as an egotistical jackass. Because there have been far too many instances to even count.] [Wumbo: Be grateful that I passed by the hallway. How do you like the taste of self-righteous hero now, Old Seriously, Are You Suffering From Multiple Personalities Jenkins?] Just then, CD appeared in the hallway. [JCM: Time for another Scooby Doo chase scene!] Steel: Fuck, we forgot about CD. [Clappy: Quick Steel, start up the convenient contraption that does everything imaginable.] CD: Not so fast, you thieves… [Metal Snake: ...SOF and Steel are guilty of larceny all of a sudden? What did they steal, your vocabulary?!] [Jjs: They probably stole his ability to use his god powers, considering how long it took him to get to the hallway. Either that or he got lost in all the many many hallways.] [Wumbo: "You stole my two-day-old chocolate bar! Cruse you!"] you uh, yeah, I ran out of jokes. [Jjs: I don't think you even had any to begin with.] [Wumbo: This entire thing is a big joke.] [JCM: CD ran out of jokes? This has gone from comedy horror to Shakespearean tragedy!] SOF: Yes, yes, you did. [Metal Snake: Wow, Past SOF really likes blaming his characters for lazy writing.] [Wumbo: At least that's something SOF actually says. Thank God SOF can at least write HIMSELF accurately some of the time.] CD: But anyways..prepare for your dooms, the rest of you. [Wumbo: That includes you, 70s! There can be only one Exposition Menace! ONLY ONE.] [Jjs: Instead of boasting all the way home, why not you just shoot them already? Oh wait, SOF needs to make this as long as possible, so King Exposition forbids any shooting right now.] [JCM: I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doo] Jelly: Please CD, reconsider what you are about to do! [Clappy: CD, just shoot them. Quit letting them talk. I'm rooting for you and 70s despite how awful villains you are. Just end this misery for me please.] OMJ: Brah, don't let an admin spot corrupt you. You were a cherry PB&J Otter fan on SBC. [Wumbo: Hey, that... that actually sounded like something OMJ might say. Praise Jebus!] [Metal Snake: Yes, reason with him even though he’s long past the point of no return. But who cares, more pointless dialogue!] [JCM: Use your noodle and don't commit quadruple homicide right now! Oodelay-O!] CD: Thanks, but no thanks, I have to kill the rest of you, especially you SOF. [Clappy: Thank you CD.] [Wumbo: No you don't. No you don't, and I'll tell you why: You, CD (I'll use this short form for you that SOF is using because oh gosh, four whole stinkin' letters is just too much to handle) are the victim of a terrible writing job. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do anything. But you know what? Even if you FEEL like you have to, you won't. Because somewhere out there, there's an unnecessary line of dialogue that will just be frittered away into a wasteland if it isn't used here. And it's yours, or another's, responsibility to use it before anyone is killed. So no, CD. You will not kill anybody. Because you were a much better killer when we didn't know it was you. I need a drink. *heads to casino in Las Vegas, Norway*] SOF: What did I do? [Metal Snake: You wrote him as a stupid and uninspiring villain. Accept your karma!] [Jjs: Wow, even CD hates SOF for being made the villain. I guess he wants a refund for losing his god powers.] [JCM: You're Canadian. Nuff said.] *starts to walk back slowly*. However, SOF accidentally pressed a switch on the cage with his foot, and the cage came apart and released 70s. [Metal Snake: ...And you wrote in a nonsensical way for 70s to get free out of nowhere. Wow, karma loves you right now.] [Jjs: They just happen to make a switch on their cage to release him? Well gee, that made the whole contraption entirely pointless then. What was the point of even catching 70s if they were going to have a switch to release him? Did SOF think 70s would learn his lesson and grant him parole?! Oh, ASS PULL POLICE!] [Clappy: If it wasn't for me being all ranted out, I would write a good paragraph on why cages don't have switches ON THEM, but I know that this won't lead to anything because SOF will still be the last one standing because he thinks his character is awesome. Fuck this lit so hard.] OMJ, Jelly and Steel: SOF! SOF: Uh oops, soz… [Metal Snake: We’re gonna die now! UH-OH, SPAGHETTI-O’S!] [Jjs: SOF gives himself the Idiot Ball twice in this episode and still doesn't die. SOF, I think your bias is showing again.] [Clappy: Why kill SOF? When you can kill OMJ for being a Hawaiian Texan, Jelly for becoming the new hilaryfan80, or Steel because Steel lasts long in these lits. SOF is untouchable. SOF is immortal.] [JCM: Aw, I can't stay mad at you. Actually, I can. Burn him at the stake!] CD then makes his move and shoots OMJ. [Metal Snake: Now that it’s for the plot’s sake, I can shoot straight!] [Jjs: I thought CD wanted to shoot SOF next? INCONSISTENCY POLICE!] [Clappy: Heh, he "makes his move". OMJ gets wined and dined before he gets fucked over.] Jelly: OMJ!!!!!!! NOO!! [Wumbo: ] [JCM: SCREAM!!! SHOUT!!!!!! HOLLER!!!!!!!!!!!!] Steel: Damn it, he was a great guy. [Jjs: He was such a great guy that I cannot express this in any emotion at all. At least he died in the name of being a great guy and I'll honor him for that.] [Clappy: May this be a lesson to my Hawaiian readers that you should not fly stateside to rescue SBMers in a pickup truck.] 70: Sorry Jelly, this will hurt as well, but.. *shoots Jelly with gun* [Metal Snake: Fucking dimension between heaven and hell, why do you keep saying “DIS HURTZ” like you’re killing them out of some sick, twisted love?! You’ve made it perfectly clear that you’re killing them out of vengeance, which implies HATRED. At least enjoy pretending to be a badass, sheesh.] [Jjs: And of course SOF gets another Get Out of Dying card. *points above to my bias line*] [Clappy: I wonder where it hurts? His heart? His penis? His ass? I bet it's his ass because all these lines sure smell like bullshit.] [Wumbo: *balled up in the corner in excruciating pain from this lit*] [JCM: What do you know? That did hurt her! 70s is magical after all!] SOF: (Darth Vader voice) NOOOOOO! [Metal Snake: Wow, I was right on the money with my Darth Vader pic in episode 2. I should’ve bet on that instead, stupid me.] [Clappy: *bangs head on keyboard* IS THIS SUPPOSE TO BE COMEDIC RELIEF? JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME MORE EXPOSITION DAMMIT!] [Wumbo: The tears, they will not stop flowing. SOF seems to care not, as the tears of agony and disbelief continue to emit from Wumbo's eyes.] [JCM: Now that we've established that SOF can change his voice at will, there's the matter of nearly everyone being dead and the killers being right in front of you to attend to.] Steel: In an ironic turn of events...the two of the three masterminds from ATTWL 2 are the only two users left.. [Metal Snake: Ohhh, why is fiction so ironic?!] [Clappy: Thanks for the absolute fan whore comment there. Too bad I've stopped giving a fuck about this installment long ago.] [Jjs: And of course SOF makes himself in the final two. This is quite possibly the most anti-climatic set-up, EVER. I'd honestly rather SOF be the killer at this point. It's also biased, yes, but at least not as badly as him being one of the last survivors. In fact, this is what the whole "battle" felt like... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg_PovoZArQ ONLY WORSE. Even comparing this to Batman: Arkham Origins is an insult though.] [Wumbo: Ever the trooper, Wumbo reaches for a handkerchief to wipe his eyes. But it was not meant to be, as the handkerchief was covered in tears already. The residual tears emitting off the other riffers. Wumbo accepts his fate, and turns his tears into a garnish for his shepherd's pie of disgust and anguish.] 70s: Yep, and you are both next. *gets gun ready* [Jjs: JUST SHOOT THEM ALREADY. Seriously, these guys have to be the worst killers ever. I've lost count on how many times they just stand still, continue to gloat, and not shoot at all. While I don't exactly want them to win, killing everyone right then and there would spare us another episode of disappointment, at least.] [Clappy: You mean his gun wasn't already ready? Geez how much ammunition is in each round of each gun? 2 bullets? Because I've been seeing more "gets gun ready" than actual shooting.] [JCM: He has to give the gun a pep talk before each murder.] CD: Any last words, SOF? [Metal Snake: My only regret was my critic corner!] SOF: *episode ends with SOF making an impression of Porky Pig* T-That's all folks?! [Jjs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hZrXdJ-ibo Hooray for yet another shoehorned-in Looney Tunes joke. Only one episode left...] [Metal Snake: *sigh* If only… Onto the second part of the finale...ugh…] [Wumbo: The 18-year-old Canadian asks himself, "What is life? Why are we here" Why do weeeeaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH FUCKING SHIT CHRIST DICKBALLS ALMIGHTY I HAVE NOT READ MORE DRIVEL IN SUCH A SHORT SPAN OF TIME. WHY DOES THIS EXIST? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!] [JCM: Is this all just a ruse for SOF to practice his impressionist comedy?] To Be Continued… [Jjs: At this point, I'd rather it not.] [Clappy: Come on Clappy. Only one more episode left. Then you can let this lit really have it.] [Wumbo: See you all next time. I'll bring Jesus, so he can weep alongside me.] 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 awesome riffs, guys. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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