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Posted
I forgot that I had been put on one of these.. huh.
I don't know how you would forget having someone attached to your anus.
Posted
I don't know how you would forget having someone attached to your anus.

Shit happens to me all the time, man. ):

Posted

Out of boredom, I wrote my long awaited Across The Universe parody. Tried cramming in all The Beatles fans I know of on SBC, so on that note, by no means am I stating that anyone has a different sexual orientation. For example, Cat is just playing the part of Prudence. I do not think for a minute that Cat is lesbian and I am sorry if anyone gets offended. This is meant for parody, not to be taken serious.

7. Across the SBC Universe

Movie: Across the Universe

A bunch of SBC Beatles fans are transported into an alternate reality after obsessing over the Beatles and the movie with the title based off their hit song Across the Universe.

Sabre, a young shipyard worker from Liverpool, enlists in the Merchant Navy and jumps ship in New Jersey hoping to find his American G.I. father, whom he has never met ("Girl", "All My Loving"). Meanwhile, in Dayton, Ohio, Jelly worries about her boyfriend Wumbo who is headed for service in the Vietnam War, while Cat pines for a fellow female cheerleader ("I Want to Hold Your Hand"). Sabre meets his father (JCM in a cameo), who is a janitor at Princeton University, and befriends Jelly's brother, the privileged and rebellious student 70s ("With a Little Help from My Friends"). Jelly receives a letter from Wumbo ("It Won't Be Long"), but when 70s brings Sabre home with him for Thanksgiving, Sabre becomes attracted to Jelly ("I've Just Seen a Face").

70s drops out of school and he and Sabre move into a bohemian enclave in Greenwich Village, living with aspiring singer Spongygirl and her guitarist Fa ("Let It Be", "Come Together"). 70s becomes a taxi driver while Sabre finds work as a freelance artist. They are soon joined by CAT, who has hitchhiked to New York and left an abusive boyfriend.

When Wumbo is killed in Vietnam, Jelly decides to visit 70s in New York before starting college ("Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"). She and Sabre fall in love ("If I Fell"), while 70s is drafted into the army ("I Want You (She's So Heavy)"). Cat is attracted to Spongygirl, and becomes depressed when Spongygirl and Fa begin a relationship. Cat locks herself in a closet and has to be coaxed out by her friends, then disappears after wandering off during a peace rally ("Dear Cat").

At a book function for existential drug guru Doctor ExKizuna, Sabre, Jelly, Fa, and 70s drink punch laced with LSD. They embark with Doctor ExKizuna on his "Beyond" bus and end up stranded outside the compound of psychonaut Doctor Elastic (“I Am the Walrus”). They come across a strange circus led by Mr. Tvguy and are reunited with Cat, who has become a circus performer ("Being for the Benefit of Mr. Tvguy!", "Because").

Back in New York, Spongygirl reluctantly agrees to her manager's demand that she drop her backing band, leading to a bitter breakup and musical split between herself and Fa ("Oh! Darling"). 70s is deployed to Vietnam, leading Jelly to become increasingly involved in the anti-war movement. Sabre remains comparatively apolitical but devoted to Jelly ("Something"), and dislikes the increasing amount of time that Jelly spends with the "Students for a Dominican Republic". Sabre suspects that their leader The_Cartoon is attempting to seduce Jelly, and this puts a strain on their relationship and affects Sabre's art ("Strawberry Fields Forever"). Finally, Sabre storms into the SDR office and points out the hypocrisy of the group's actions ("Revolution"), leading to an argument with Jelly in which she leaves him ("While My Guitar Gently Weeps"). When the police arrest protestors at an anti-war demonstration at Columbia University, Sabre tries to help Jelly but winds up arrested ("Across the Universe", "Helter Skelter").

Having been in the United States illegally, Sabre is deported back to England. 70s is wounded in Vietnam and sent home, psychologically scarred and dependent on morphine ("Happiness Is a Warm Gun"). Jelly leaves the SDR when she discovers that The_Cartoon is making bombs; one of them explodes, killing The_Cartoon and destroying the SDR offices ("Blackbird"). On hearing this news Sabre thinks that Jelly is dead, but upon learning from 70s that she is alive he arranges to return to New York legally ("Hey Sabre").

Fa and Spongygirl reconcile and put on a rooftop concert, with Cat as a member of their band ("Don't Let Me Down"). The police arrive to break up the concert, and Jelly cannot get through them. Sabre manages to remain on the roof and sings "All You Need Is Love", and the police allow the band to accompany him. Jelly and Sabre gaze at each other across opposite rooftops as the performance concludes ("Jelly in the Sky with Diamonds").

Posted

You chose the perfect members (For the movie choice) and wove them into the story really well, good job Clappy, very good job :)

Posted

8. The Legend of OMJ

Movie: Into The Wild

In 2014, OMJ arrives in a remote area of the Denali National Park and Preserve in Alaska and sets up a campsite in an abandoned bus. At first, OMJ is content with the isolation, the beauty of nature around him, and the thrill of living off the land. He hunts wild animals with a .22 caliber rifle, reads books, and keeps a diary of his thoughts to share with his SBC brethren as he prepares for himself a new life in the wild.

Two years earlier, OMJ graduates with high honors from Hawaii University. Shortly afterwards, OMJ rejects his conventional life by destroying all of his credit cards and identification documents. He donates nearly all of his entire savings of $24,000 to Oxfam and sets out on a cross-country flight to our nation’s capital, then drive in a well-used, but reliable Datsun to experience life in the wilderness. However, OMJ does not tell his parents nor his real life friends what he is doing or where he is going, and refuses to keep in touch with them after his departure, leaving them to become increasingly anxious and eventually desperate.

At Lake Mead, Arizona, OMJ' automobile is caught in a flash flood causing him to abandon it and begin hitchhiking instead. He burns what remains of his dwindling cash supply and assumes a new name: "Alexander Supertramp." In Northern California, OMJ encounters a hippie couple named Jelly and Clappy. Clappy tells OMJ about his failing relationship with Jelly, which OMJ would rekindle by making this relationship a threesome. By September, OMJ stops in Carthage, South Dakota to work for a contract harvesting company owned by JCM (in an extended cameo…shaking things up a bit), but he is forced to leave after JCM is arrested for satellite piracy.

OMJ then travels to the Colorado River and, though told by park rangers that he may not kayak down the river without a license, ignores their warnings and paddles downriver until he eventually arrives in Mexico. There, his kayak is lost in a dust storm and he crosses back into the United States on foot. Unable to hitchhike, he starts traveling via freight train to Los Angeles, California. Not long after arriving, however, he starts feeling "corrupted" by modern civilization and decides to leave. Later, OMJ is forced to switch his traveling method back to hitchhiking after he is beaten by a railroad bull.

In December 2012, OMJ arrives at Slab City in the Imperial Valley region of California, and encounters Jelly and Clappy again. There he meets Smiles, a teenage girl who shows interest in OMJ. After the holidays, OMJ decides to continue heading for Alaska, much to everyone's sadness. While camping near Salton City, California, OMJ encounters the real Old Man Jenkins, a retired man who recounts the story of the loss of his family in a car accident while he was serving in the United States Army. He now occupies his time in a workshop as an amateur leather worker. Old Man Jenkins teaches OMJ the craft of leatherwork, resulting in the making of a belt that details OMJ' travels. After spending several months with Old Man Jenkins, OMJ decides to leave for Alaska despite Old Man Jenkin's upset, who has become quite close to OMJ. On a parting note, Old Man Jenkins gives OMJ his old camping and travel gear along with the offer to adopt him as his grandchild, but OMJ simply tells him that they should discuss this after he returns from Alaska; then departs.

Months later at the abandoned bus, life for OMJ becomes harder and he becomes less discerning. As his supplies begin to run out, he realizes that nature is also harsh and uncaring. In the pain of realization, OMJ concludes that true happiness can only be found when shared with others and seeks to return from the wild to his friends and family. However, he finds that the stream he had crossed during the winter has become wide, deep, and violent due to the thaw, and he is unable to cross. Saddened, he returns to the bus, now as a prisoner who is no longer in control of his fate and can only hope for help from the outside. In a desperate act, OMJ is forced to gather and eat roots and plants, but he confuses similar plants and becomes ill as a result. Slowly dying, he continues to document his process of self-realization and accepts his fate, as he imagines his family for one last time. He writes a farewell to the world and crawls into his sleeping bag to die. Two weeks later, his body is found by moose hunters.

  • Like 1
Posted

Everytime I come across your SBCimena, I feel a little pleasure inside myself. Awesome writing Clappy, and I like how you put the real Old Man Jenkins in this. :)

Posted
Everytime I come across your SBCimena, I feel a little pleasure inside myself. Awesome writing Clappy, and I like how you put the real Old Man Jenkins in this. :)
Always glad to have a loyal fan. Plus Into The Wild is one of my favorite films and OMJ was the perfect user to parody Christopher McCandless.
Posted

Just a friendly reminder that this movie is only for the sake of parody. None of this is meant to offend anyone and it is literally the movie in its entirety. Now, may I show you, in my opinion, the most offensive movie I have parodied yet.

9. You're Tearing Me Apart!
Movie: The Room

Dragiiin, who starred, wrote, produced, and directed this masterpiece, is a successful banker who lives in a townhouse with his beautiful fiancee, Mothra. They share an intense relationship characterized by constant, passionate lovemaking, which appears to occupy a majority of their time. Despite this idyllic existence, Mothra has inexplicably become dissatisfied with her life, and one afternoon confides to her best friend Kinda and her mother Girly_Girl that she finds Dragiiin boring. Although Kinda advises her to be grateful for what she has, and her mother counsels her that financial stability is more important than happiness, Mothra decides to seduce Dragiiin's best friend, Elastic. Although he is initially hesitant, Elastic gives in to Mothra's advances.

Their affair continues through the remainder of the film, even though Elastic appears reluctant at the outset of each sexual encounter and repeatedly tries to break off the relationship. Mothra, meanwhile, having come to the realization that she "wants it all," decides to stay with Dragiiin for financial support and the material goods he can provide her. As the wedding date approaches and Dragiiin's clout at his bank slips, Mothra alternates between glorifying and vilifying Dragiiin to her family and friends, both making false accusations of domestic abuse and defending Dragiiin against criticisms. Meanwhile, Dragiiin, having overheard Mothra confess her infidelity to her mother, attaches a tape recorder to their phone in an attempt to identify her lover.

Against the backdrop of Mothra and Elastic's affair, numerous subplots involving secondary characters begin to develop, which make up a large portion of the film: ExKizuna, a neighboring college student whom Dragiiin financially supports and "loves like a son," has a mysterious run-in with a drug dealer named JCM (in a cameo), whom Dragiiin and Elastic apprehend and take to the police. ExKizuna also lusts after Mothra, ultimately confessing his attraction to Dragiiin; once Dragiiin tells ExKizuna that Mothra loves him as her friend, ExKizuna resolves to propose to his own girlfriend, WWESponge, who is unseen. Dragiiin takes on a mysterious client at his bank whose identity he is sworn to protect. Girly_Girl experiences real estate problems, bemoans failed relationships, and informs Mothra that she has breast cancer. Kinda and her boyfriend, PhillipB, have sex in Dragiiin and Mothra's home. Spongebobs1fan, a psychologist friend of Dragiiin's and Elastic's, alternates between defending Mothra and assessing her as a psychopath, which results in Elastic trying to murder him. Each of these subplots receives only brief exposition, and none are ever resolved. Except for Dragiiin stopping by a flower shop.



At Dragiiin's surprise party, tvguy, a previously unseen friend of Mothra's and Dragiiin's, catches Mothra kissing Elastic while the rest of the guests are outside and confronts her about the affair. Mothra expresses no remorse, while Elastic angrily urges tvguy not to tell anyone. Dragiiin announces to the guests that Mothra is pregnant, only for Mothra to tell tvguy and Kinda that she lied about it in order to "make things interesting." At the end of the evening, Mothra flaunts her affair in front of Dragiiin, who physically attacks Elastic.

After the party, Dragiiin locks himself in the bathroom, prompting Mothra to make plans to finally leave him for Elastic. Dragiiin finally comes out of the bathroom and retrieves the cassette recorder he attached to the phone, and listens to an intimate call between Mothra and Elastic. Claiming that all of his friends have betrayed him, Dragiiin destroys his apartment and then kills himself with a handgun. ExKizuna, Elastic, and Mothra discover his body sometime later. Elastic and ExKizuna blame Mothra for Dragiiin's death, with Elastic declaring he doesn't love Mothra. ExKizuna asks to be left alone with the body, but Mothra and Elastic instead decide to stay and comfort one another as the sound of sirens grows louder and the inconclusiveness still continued.
  • Like 1
Posted
I really need to see this movie come April Fool's, but it eludes me every year.
I didn't even know this aired on April Fools Day. I saw it on Megavideo months ago.
Posted
Adult Swim usually airs it annually for the past couple of years for lulz.
Oh...well I think I will tune in this year. Writing all this made me nostalgic to watch this lulzfest again.
Posted

10. Obsessed

Movie: Fatal Attraction

(Get it? Because the 2009 movie Obsessed is pretty much the same movie as Fatal Attraction?)

Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick is a successful, happily married doctor professor now living in Manhattan, in ode to the movie, when he meets SpongeHolly, a webpage designer for a SpongeBob fan site, through business. While his wife, CF, and son, Teenj, are out of town for the weekend, he has a passionate affair with SpongeHolly. Though he thought it was understood to be a simple fling, she begins clinging to him with random SpongeBob references.

hilaryfan80 explains that he must go home and SpongeHolly cuts her wrists in a suicide attempt. He helps her to bandage them and later leaves. He thinks the affair is forgotten, but she shows up at various places to see him with more random SpongeBob trivia. She waits at his office one day to apologize and invite him to Universal Studios for a live SpongeBob show, but he turns her down. She then continues to telephone until he tells his nurses that he will no longer take her calls. She then phones his home at all hours, and then confronts him saying that she is pregnant and plans to keep the baby who she has already named, Little Bobby. Although he wants nothing to do with her, she argues that he must take responsibility of Little Bobby. She shows up at his apartment (which is for sale) and meets CF, feigning interest as a buyer. Later that night, he goes to her apartment to confront her about her actions which results in a violent scuffle. In response, she replies that she and Little Bobby will not be ignored.

hilaryfan80 moves his family to Bedford, just like in the movie, but this doesn't stop SpongeHolly. She has a tape recording delivered to him filled with her favorite SpongeBob quotes. She stalks him in a parking garage, leaves sponges on his vehicle, and follows him home one night to spy on him, CF, and Teenj from the bushes in their yard; the sight of their family life literally makes her sick to her stomach. Her obsession escalates further. hilaryfan80 approaches the police to apply for a restraining order against her (claiming that it is "for a patient"), to which the lieutenant (JCM in a cameo) claims that he cannot violate her rights without probable cause and that the adulterer has to own up to his adultery.

At one point, while hilaryfan80 and the family are not home, SpongeHolly kills Teenj's pet rabbit, puts it on their stove to boil, and leaves a snail in the rabbit’s cage. After this, hilaryfan80 tells CF of the affair and SpongeHolly's pregnancy. Enraged, she asks him to leave. Before he goes, hilaryfan80 calls SpongeHolly to tell her that CF knows about the affair. CF gets on the phone and warns SpongeHolly that if she persists, she will kill her. Without hilaryfan80 and CF's knowledge, SpongeHolly picks up Teenj at school and takes him to an amusement park, buying him krabby patties as well as taking him on a SpongeBob 4D adventure ride. CF panics when she realizes that she doesn't know where Teenj is. She drives around searching and rear-ends a car stopped at an intersection and is slightly injured and hospitalized. SpongeHolly later drops Teenj off at hilaryfan80's house, asking Teenj for a kiss on the cheek, and gives him a sweater with love in every stitch. Teenj loves the obscure SpongeBob references!

hilaryfan80 barges into SpongeHolly's apartment and attacks her, choking her and not too short of strangling her. He stops himself, but as he does she lunges at him with a kitchen knife and laughs just like SpongeBob. He overpowers her, but puts the knife down and leaves, with SpongeHolly leaning against the kitchen counter, smiling. He approaches the police about having her arrested, and they start searching for SpongeHolly to bring her in for taking Teenj. Following her release from the hospital, CF forgives hilaryfan80 and they return home.

CF prepares a bath for herself and SpongeHolly suddenly appears, again with the kitchen knife. She starts to explain her resentment of her, nervously fidgeting (which causes her to cut her own leg) and then attacks her. hilaryfan80 hears the screaming and runs in, wrestles SpongeHolly into the bathtub and seemingly drowns her. She suddenly emerges from the water, swinging the knife. CF, who went searching for hilaryfan80's gun, shoots her in the chest, killing her. The final scene shows police cars outside the house. As hilaryfan80 finishes talking with the cops, he walks inside, where CF is waiting for him. They embrace and proceed upstairs as the camera focuses on a picture of hilaryfan80, CF, and Teenj.

Posted

Lol, I love these types of plotlines. And I appeared ^^. Nice spoof.

Posted

Ready Star Wars fans? Here is the SBC parody of Episode I. Made sure it was incredibly faithful to the original just to not piss off the fanboys. :P

11. SBC Wars Episode I: The Spirit Hazard
Film: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

 

The Galactic Republic is in a period of decline. In response to a taxation on trade routes, the Trade Federation organizes a blockade of battleships around the planet of Naboo. Supreme Chancellor Jjs dispatches two Jedi, Clappy and his Jedi apprentice OMJ to negotiate with Trade Federation Viceroy ClassicNickelodeonFan, in hopes of resolving the issue. However, the Sith Lord Darth Cakeybagelsoup orders the army to kill the Jedi and invade Naboo with an army of battle droids. The two Jedi escape the attempt on their lives by stowing aboard landing craft and escaping to Naboo. There, Clappy saves Gungan outcast Person from being crushed by a Federation tank. Indebted to the Jedi, Person leads them to the underwater Gungan city of Otoh Gunga; there, the Jedi unsuccessfully attempt to persuade the Gungans to help the people of Naboo, though they are able to obtain a transport to reach the Capital city of Theed on the surface.

Queen NegiSpongie is captured by the Federation army, but is rescued by the Jedi. The Queen escapes Naboo with the Jedi on her personal starship, which is damaged on its way through the blockade surrounding the planet, forcing them to land on Tatooine, a nearby desert planet, for repairs. Clappy ventures into the settlement of Mos Espa with Person and the astromech droid CD-CB to a junk shop to purchase a new hyperdrive generator. The queen allows Smiles, supposedly a handmaid, to journey along with them. There, they meet a slave child named Elastic, an interesting pilot and engineer who has created his own protocol droid, C-F3689. After spending time with Elastic, Clappy senses a strong presence of the Force within the boy, and suspects he may be the "Chosen One" of Jedi prophecy who will bring balance to the Force. Clappy makes a bet with Elastic's owner, Wumbo, to enter him in a pod-racing tournament; if Elastic wins, he will be freed. Elastic manages to win the race and joins the group to be trained as a Jedi, but he is forced to leave his mother behind, as Clappy was unable to arrange for her release. They are attacked by Darth Cakeybagelsoup's apprentice, Darth Metal Snake, who was dispatched to capture the Queen.

Having escaped the attack, the Jedi escort the Queen to the Republic capital planet of Coruscant so she can plead her people's case to Chancellor Jjs. Clappy offers the Jedi Council to train Elastic as a Jedi, but is rejected. Meanwhile, Senator Dragiiin of Naboo convinces the Queen to a motion of no confidence in Jjs in attempt to vote for a stronger Chancellor who will help end the conflict. She pushes such a vote, but grows frustrated with the lack of action by the Galactic Senate, ultimately deciding to return to Naboo with the Jedi.

Back on Naboo, Smiles reveals herself to be the real Queen, the other "Queen" NegiSpongie having been a decoy. Smiles convinces the Gungans to form an alliance against the Trade Federation. While Person leads his people (one of them being JCM in a cameo) in a battle against the droid army and the Queen comes in to capture ClassicNickelodeonFan in Theed, Elastic pilots a vacant starfighter and joins the fight against the Federation droid control ship in space, and—using the Force—destroys the ship, deactivating the droid army. Meanwhile, OMJ and Clappy encounter Darth Metal Snake once more and engage him in a lightsaber fight. Metal Snake mortally wounds Clappy, but is killed by OMJ; Clappy's dying request is for OMJ to train Elastic. Dragiiin is elected as the new Supreme Chancellor, the Federation Viceroy is sent to stand trial for his crimes, OMJ is bestowed the rank of Jedi Knight, and the Jedi Council accepts Elastic to become OMJ's apprentice. At a festive ceremony, Smiles presents a gift of appreciation and friendship to the Gungans.

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