SBC's Top 50 Worst Episodes Ever 2018 Edition

[The Lion King]

38. The Cent of Money - As much as I hated how Mr. Krabs treated Gary throughout the episode, the episode at least made it clear that what he was doing was wrong and punished Krabs at the end of it, which is way more than we get in similar episodes.

37. A Day Without Tears - I never hated Funny Pants, but I refuse to abandon my hatred of this idiotic episode, mostly because it ripped off Funny Pants while taking out the element that redeemed it the most in my eyes, a.k.a the jokes. SpongeBob's crying is just as annoying as his laughing, but the boring episode built around that crying makes it even more unbearable. Plus, while SpongeBob's annoying laughter has been a part of the character almost since day 1, they just randomly decided to make him a big baby for this episode, and that makes it feel less genuine to me. I don't know, I probably could have put other episodes above it on my list, but I just don't like it at all, so I feel good about where I had it even if the rest of the community doesn't agree.

36. Atlantis SquarePantis - Already talked about that

35. Cephalopod Lodge - I actually thought this was one of the better episodes of Season 6. There was a lot of funny moments, and the scene with the sock puppets was golden. Yeah, I guess there was Squidward abuse, but I've always been able to tolerate Squidward abuse when it's actually funny, and even the line Steel brought about Squidward slamming his head in the door repeatedly I found funny, which contrary to what Steel said, is how I think it was meant to be received.

34. Tentacle-Vision - I remember liking this episode, but maybe I just have poor taste. Oh well.

33. The Play's the Thing - I only reason I remember this episode is because of the episode of Skodwarde I wrote based on it, which I thought was pretty good. The episode itself, I didn't think was pretty good, but not bad enough to make my list. I never thought about the comparisons to Culture Shock before, and those comparisons are reasonable to bring up. The episode also reminded me of As Seen on TV, but it isn't as well-executed as either episode, obviously.

32. Are You Happy Now? - I honestly remember so little about this episode outside of the suicide "gags" people like to bring up that it's hard to talk about it. I dunno, suicide isn't funny, but it feels like those jokes are way overblown.

31. Pineapple Fever - Hey, this episode made my list! Some people found it entertaining, others found it so bad it was so good, I just found it boring and grating, exaggerating SpongeBob's and Patrick's annoying personalities for maximum discomfort to Squidward at a time when I, like everybody else, was tired of those types of episodes.

[101 Dalmatian Street]

Face Freeze!: I can't hate this episode enough (gee, wonder how many times I'm going to be saying that), because a part of feels as though that the faces are clinically designed to be horrifying to look at, but they are also so in your face that you feel like you're supposed to find them funny. For certain, why I'm giving the designs for the "funny faces" some defense is that it's totally not because of an event that took place in this website whereas a particular artist working for the show had to come out and speak to us about his position as a character designer. ...Oh yeah, and the ending just flat out sucked, but at the same time, it ended so abruptly that I can't take it so seriously.

Squidward's School for Grown Ups: This episode narrowly missed my bottom 25. I barely remember most of it, but I remembered the episode itself being really bad on my first viewing.

The Cent of Money: To me, it's an example of an episode that develops very badly but ends on a very good note. Mr. Krabs abusing Gary wasn't funny at all, but the episode makes up for that massive mistake for making SpongeBob get over his obliviousness before lashing out against Krabs for having mistreated Gary. What's also satisfying is that Krabs does get what he deserves, by getting crushed by an onslaught of coins. If the episode was just Mr. Krabs getting off scot-free for his treatment of Gary and SpongeBob being oblivious the whole time, then this episode might as well have earned a spot on my list.

A Day Without Tears: Okay, seriously? Are we still going to write off the episode like it's nothing more than those first three minutes? I'm also surprised that no one hasn't talked about the phone conversation between SpongeBob and Patrick that was only there to fill in the time (unless I missed someone).

Atlantis Squarepantis: I used to really like this episode way back when in the tv.com days where I thought most people were overwhelming their negative reactions towards the episode. I'll admit it that I overwhelmed my positive reactions towards the episode. (I'm also kinda glad we moved past the "THE BUS IS FUELED BY SONG!?!?!?!" type of reactions) It took me a long while to realize it, but I've come to accept that the special had its fair share of incredibly dumb moments, and it's to the point where I have since ranked it below my top 100. While I felt that the special could've been better if it phased out all the time that was used for the Patchy segments, I thought the episode was still something from nothing and had some peculiar charm. Looking back on the special, it feels like a rejected, Yellow Submarine spin-off short film. It also had clear nods towards Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but I wouldn't say that it gives the special any less of an identity. Like, remember that one scene where Mr. Krabs gets stuck in a coin transferring tube, or the scene where Squidward turns into a blueberry? Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.

For an episode that is style over substance, Atlantis was still a pretty sight despite providing a storyline that is played a little too safe at times. That's not to say that I think that the plot was THAT bad either. Once again, I feel like the episode is backed up by its very peculiar charm. In addition, the Patchy segments were the worst parts of the episode (except for one moment...), mainly because it had absolutely nothing to do with the special's central plot. Finally, an unpopular opinion: I thought some of the songs sounded genuinely good at best, if not all of them. also, this is one of the funniest moments from the show in general, and no one can tell me otherwise that it's not (sorry about the quality):

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Cephalopod Lodge: Copy and paste my commentary on the episode here.

Tentacle-Vision: I did actually enjoy the episode, but goodness, I wouldn't say that it's on par with the quality of pre-movie. In fact, during the same tv.com era, I remembered very well that the episode had some contempt considering that it's a typical Squid Abuse. If there was any reason that this episode has had some overwhelmingly positive reactions (alongside some other episodes), I think it's because we've used to have this mindset where we've had to be a lot nicer towards post-movie episodes, 'cause if we were too negative, we wouldn't have the right to call ourselves SpongeBob fans. Just look at One Coarse Meal. Before most people made the assumption that the writers were playing suicide for laughs, most members gave it a positive reception. Funny for me to say, I thought "Tentacle-Vision" was okay at best, but then I came to realize that it had some genuinely funny moments in eyes, ignoring the annoying moments - and I still stand by that and I'm perplexed that the episode ranks below Cephalopod Lodge, Good Neighbors, and other episodes centered around Squidward.

Having the spotlight constantly taken away from you and getting kicked out of your own home for being a ratings killer is really tame compared to being banned for life from your favorite cult, or having your Sunday completely ruined for incredibly unlucky reasons, or all that Squidward goes through in "The Thing," or [the scene that must not be named] from "House Fancy," as much as I didn't wanna have to bring it up. One other reason why I can't get myself to hate the episode is because after a while when Squid Abuse was clearly more prevalent towards the series' formula, I've come to expect that every episode about Squidward, until post-SOOW, would always result into some kind of abuse towards the character.

The Play's the Thing: Is it bad for me to say that I remember this episode a lot more than most Season 8 episodes, or that I remembered this episode being somewhat enjoyable in my eyes? Although, I'll agree that it wasn't the most memorable episode from S7. Oh, and if you guys think I'm being too soft on Squid Abuse episodes, just wait until we get to "Ink Lemonade" and maybe then I'll redeem myself (that and "Choir Boys").

Are You Happy Now?: I haven't re-watched this episode in ages, which is why it's not in my bottom 25, let alone close to it, but the suicide jokes that are constantly brought up, I can see were clearly meant to be taken as jokes and they were not funny at all...and I will just leave it there.

Pineapple Fever: Of all post-movie episodes, this is one that I'm willing to defend to death, but I think I've already talked about my thoughts on the episode in-depth a couple times, so I'm not going to repeat myself.

Edited May 19, 2018 by Steel Sponge

[kylie]

AYHN? - The far-fetched concept of Squidward having genuinely no happy memories is about as much of an ass-pull as Patrick not knowing what lemonade is, so it's no surprise that an episode using this as its basis is such garbage. The suicide jokes are so obviously for 'shock' value that the only real shock here is that the writers were dumb enough to think writing them would be a good look. There's something to be said about the fact that the 'SpongeBob trying to make Squidward happy' montage is sort of self-aware in that it shows that the writers are well-aware that they've made Squid's life a living hell over the last few seasons, but this show is not a place where serious episodes with a tone of grit can thrive, and this episode is the most painful reminder of that. I'd rather have a typical annoy Squidward episode than this. 

I honestly and truly have no idea what the hell they were going for when they wrote this but whatever it was, I don't think they achieved it. 

Pineapple Fever: Speaking of 'annoy Squidward episodes,' here's one now. That's really all there is to say here. 

[Dragonball Z]

"Are You Happy Now" BARELY made my list, either my general dislike for the episode has faded over time, or there have been worse episode segments to come out since that one, or a combination of both. "Pineapple Fever" probably COULD have made my list, but I just found it more boring than bad. I can forgive an episode segment more if it turns out boring, but it's harder for me to defend an episode segment that's downright bad!  Enough said for now! 

[Honest Slug]

Are You Happy Now made my list. What an abysmal episode. Complete garbage that ruins Squidward's whole grumpiness shtick by having him go through actual depression.

Pineapple Fever is like all of the other season 6 Squid "torture" episodes and I have nothing more to add. It sucks.

 

My list:

  Hide contents

My List:

1.     

2.    

3.     

4.     Atlantis SquarePantis (#36)

5.     

6.     

7.     

8.     

9.     

10.   Squidward’s School for Grown Ups (#39)

11.   

12.   

13.   Are You Happy Now? (#32)

14.   

15.   

16.   

17.   

18.   

19.   

20.   

21.   Gone (#45)

22.   

23.   

24.   

25.   

 

[WinterArcanine]

1 minute ago, Honest Slug said:

Are You Happy Now made my list. What an abysmal episode. Complete garbage that ruins Squidward's whole grumpiness shtick by having him go through actual depression.

Pineapple Fever is like all of the other season 6 Squid "torture" episodes and I have nothing more to add. It sucks.

 

My list:

  Hide contents

My List:

1.     

2.    

3.     

4.     Atlantis SquarePantis (#36)

5.     

6.     

7.     

8.     

9.     

10.   Squidward’s School for Grown Ups (#39)

11.   

12.   

13.   Are You Happy Now? (#32)

14.   

15.   

16.   

17.   

18.   

19.   

20.   

21.   Gone (#45)

22.   

23.   

24.   

25.   

 

tfw your list so far is pretty much just the ones I disagree with the most lol

[Honest Slug]

30 minutes ago, Wintermelon43 said:

tfw your list so far is pretty much just the ones I disagree with the most lol

Lol. That's kinda funny.

However, I'm pretty sure my more predictable choices ended up a lot higher on the list. So a lot more obvious ones should pop up soon.

[President Squidward]

I'm probably the only member who likes Pineapple Fever.

Also, I couldn't say the points people made about Are You Happy Now myself. It's such a bad episode.

[Shark Tale]

30. Sportz?

93 points. 6 out of 25 lists. Highest Ranking: #1 - @Something the So and So

Summary:

Spoiler

The episode begins with SpongeBob taking out the trash. Meanwhile, a package falls out of a mail truck and onto SpongeBob's lawn. Patrick (who came out of the garbage can) and SpongeBob wonder what's inside. SpongeBob looks for an address, but he does not see one (the address, which says "Sandy Cheeks," was actually located on the other side of the package). Patrick opens the package then SpongeBob looks inside the package and they find a bunch of sports equipment in the package. However, SpongeBob and Patrick are not sure what the equipment does, so they decide to test the stuff.

First, they think that a golf club is used to get books off the top shelf so they knock the books down. Second, they think a bowling ball is a whipped cream holder. Patrick tries to eat the whipped cream on the bowling ball. He accidentally drops the bowling ball and it gets in his mouth. The bowling ball breaks the floor and Patrick falls through the floor. Third, they think a baseball glove is a portable snail bed. Patrick wants to try, so he knocks Gary off. Patrick fell asleep on it as well.

While they are trying out the sports equipment, Squidward makes a sophisticated meal. A tennis ball breaks through his window and starts bouncing around his kitchen. Squidward gets angered by this and then hears SpongeBob and Patrick laughing. He goes outside and sees the two destroying his garden. Squidward becomes infuriated and says, “What are you doing with this equipment?” SpongeBob and Patrick dont know what equipment means. Squidward tells them what the it is. SpongeBob doesn’t know what sports are, so Squidward tells him and Patrick the definition of the hobby.

SpongeBob and Patrick want to play sports. The two of them want Squidward to teach them how to play sports. Squidward says no, until Angel and Devil Squidward show up. Angel Squidward says he should teach them but if they play incorrectly, sports can be dangerous. Devil Squidward says he should teach them incorrectly because it's payback time. Angel Squidward gets hit by a tennis ball and says "let him have it, right between the eyes." Squidward then changes his mind and "teaches them."

First, they play horseshoes except they have blindfolds and pain gets them points. After playing it 100 more times, SpongeBob and Patrick are really hurt. Second, the two of them have to do a race with ice skis. SpongeBob and Patrick's feet severely injured in the process. After they finish the race, they're really hurt. SpongeBob and Patrick have a big sportz tournament, only to continue getting really hurt.

While they’re having the big tournament, Sandy is looking for her sports equipment. She finds the package but it doesn't have her sports equipment. Sandy hears the big tournament and walks there to ask SpongeBob and Patrick what's going on. SpongeBob says that he and Patrick are in the middle of a sports game. Sandy says this isn't any sports game she's ever seen before. SpongeBob says it's kickboxing, while Sandy says that whatever they're playing, it's causing them a lot of pain, but SpongeBob and Patrick will not stop playing because they're in a middle of a tie.

The Rule Giver comes out. Sandy goes to The Rule Giver and then realizes it is Squidward. The latter prefers "King of Sportz." Sandy realizes that Squidward is making a game where SpongeBob and Patrick get hurt and won't let them stop. Squidward says he's just giving the people what they want. Sandy makes an effort to put a stop to this because SpongeBob and Patrick are getting severely injured.

Squidward resumes the game and Sandy challenges him to a game of basketball, but the former refuses. The people say they want him to play, so he ends up doing so. The first round is basketball. Sandy wins this round and Squidward says it was a foul. Sandy however calls him out on this, telling him to go tell that to his mother. Squidward then goes to his mother, but she doesn’t want to hear it.

The second round is soccer. Sandy wins again. The third round is football. Sandy win for the third time in a row. Fourth round is pool, which Sandy wins. Sandy is the winner of sportz.

Since Squidward got hurt throughout the game, he became just as hurt as SpongeBob and Patrick did. The pair come to talk about the game she and Squidward had. Sandy ends their game and says they're both winners. She then gives all three of them a big hug. She hugs them so hard that Squidward's head pops and his eyes fall out of him.

Jjs: Here we go: The first post sequel episode to make it on here. This new addition was probably expected by everyone...or at least by people like me who know about the group that hates this one.   Yup, Trophy's most hated episode has appeared. Whether if you agree with it being this high on the list...could be questionable. I'll be honest. I've only seen this episode once, when it premiered, and just found it mediocre more than anything. Nothing about it really made me hate it for whatever reason. I didn't find it good mind you, but personally several other post sequel episodes bug me than this one. I do agree though that The Fry Cook Games and Prehibernation Week do everything this episode does much better, so I can see how the episode doesn't really bring much new to the table in that regard. But I still can't bring myself to dislike this one. Maybe the extreme hate for this one isn't something I'll ever fully get. I will say though I also don't care enough to rewatch this episode again, so make of that what you will. Maybe if I rewatched it I could someday dislike this one more, but for now, this episode failed to bother me. Since I'm mostly "whatever" towards this episode, I've invited not one, not two, but three people who had this episode on their lists to elaborate their thoughts, so I'll let them take it from here.

Trophy: Trophy doesn’t have Pranks a Lot as his number one anymore, even after getting it on the 2015 list? TIME TO REJOICE...for those who don’t know as I feel like I’ve made this very public over the past few months, but that might’ve only been on Xat and SBM as I never fully talked about this horrid episode on the forums.

Most people will tend to say that this episode isn’t good but it isn’t hateable. However, this episode is utterly flawed. Say what you want about A Pal for Gary, but at least that episode made sense before the Puffy Fluffy scene, at least The Splinter was just boring without the gross out, at least One Coarse Meal had a coherent plot even if Krabs was completely unlikable there. Despite their flaws they all pale in comparison to Sportz for me because Sportz is broken from the beginning.

Advertising and Kids Choice Sportz: This is an extremely odd place to start, but I have to mention this given how it set up expectations. While the advertising itself has nothing to do with the episode, I do hate what this episode stood for. It was basically used as a lead-in for Nick’s desperate attempt to try and get a working Hall of Game awards, and besides this episode already existing for the stupidest thing possible, it already spoils the “surprise” of Sandy coming in and beating up on Squidward, which is supposed to be the climax. Promotion and advertising should tease what leads up to that, but because the episode is so repetitive they have no material to go off of and just skip straight to spoiling Sandy coming in right from the start!

I don’t care that the episode wasn’t trying to hide the foreshadowing with it to begin with given how obvious the box was, but when you blatantly show exactly what happens like that and I already know the outcome, I’m going to be less invested in the end result unless there’s something more to be given in the media than what the spoilers say, and given how bare-boned this episode was, it did far from anything remotely close to that. But don’t worry, this episode goes above and beyond to show that it was just a poorly rushed attempt to cash in for the Kids Choice Sports awards, and it goes far beyond spoiling the “climax” before it even aired!

The Box and Naivety: How the story was fundamentally flawed from the first 30 seconds: SpongeBob has had more than its fair share of dumbing down characters in order to fit an episode, and this is an egregious example as well. SpongeBob and Patrick are seriously expected to not know sports despite hanging out with Sandy and being active jellyfishers yet Squidward knows enough to set everything up? This is a ludicrous example even for SB standards, and the stupidity shows when they can’t even check all sides of the box to see Sandy’s name...within the thirty seconds….while it legitimately faces the audience while being legible….and he even jumps inside….

Geez, I wonder who this could belong to, definitely doesn’t seem like them being clueless is an extremely forced plot device so they naively follow along Squidward’s example despite having literally every single reason not to or anything silly like that! Especially when they do nothing but get hurt all the time and even say they want to quit but still go on because the episode needs them to have “a winner”. The really insulting part is that if they just looked at the box’s name they could’ve directly asked Sandy and avoid this entire plot, but nope, gotta keep it chugging along somehow and doing something rational like having the name get scuffed up while the box falls out of the truck would be too hard!

Speaking of that, at its’ very fundamental core, SpongeBob is supposed to be an animated comedy. There are instances where it focuses on other things such as horror in I Was a Teenage Gary or tells an emotional story like with Have You Seen This Snail, but since Sportz is clearly meant to be a humorous episode, it fails in every single aspect aside from one single visual joke, and that’s the Squidward angel getting hit by a tennis ball to signify the devil inside of him winning. Even then that’s just part of the same gag turning into a montage of everyone getting hurt.

That’s not humorous by any means at all. That’s legitimately just focusing on the part of sports that everyone hates to see, brutal injuries, and trying to play that as some form of slapstick. It wasn’t funny at all, and unless it’s a contact sport like boxing, injuries aren’t the fun or engaging part. You can have big hits such as in hockey or American Football, but there’s a huge difference between that and injuries. Given that this only focused on injuries instead of anything else that people find engaging, or at least finding a sport like boxing where beating the crap out of each other without killing anyone is the actual goal (which Krusty Krushers did pretty damn well), this episode is an utter failure at making me laugh. I used to not be bothered by the “we’re sports fans” quip, but when that’s the only other notable attempt at humor, it’s nowhere near enough to redeem anything. It does nothing interesting with how odd sports fandom can tend to be, it’s just some guy saying “we don’t do shit hahahahaa” and there could’ve been a much better joke about fandom thrown somewhere in there instead of the injury highlights. They already acted like a damn cult by chanting for Squidward to play Sandy, why not try and do anything with that? Because that’d require an actual attempt at doing something creative.

After a bit of nothing going on, Sandy decides to come in. At this point I was just dreading it since the ending was pretty much given away in the advertisements showing her basketball stunt and the box from the beginning making it very evident, and whaddya know instead of doing anything different with any concepts, it’s just the same old shit except Squidward’s getting his just desserts. Here’s the thing though: it doesn’t feel fully earned. SpongeBob and Patrick could’ve legitimately stopped at any given time but they didn’t just so this episode could continue long enough for Sandy to come along and save them. SpongeBob and Patrick are so spineless here and the transparency is obvious, it was annoying to the point where I really couldn’t care if they were stupid enough to keep hurting themselves since they were doing it to each other by still participating. They didn’t even know what sports were in the beginning of the episode so why are they pushing along, was having a winner really that necessary to them? I’m not saying Squidward isn’t in the wrong because he is, unnecessarily so here as he wasn’t really hurt that much to warrant him dangling them along for over 100 events, but somehow Sandy is the only character which feels like she was done right in this episode, and her sole purpose was to come in for the last half and act as Squidward’s karma. All of it rubbed me in the wrong way, and I couldn’t really “root” for anyone as this was such a giant clusterfuck.

The disappointing part about all of this is that SpongeBob has done numerous sporting episodes before. Every episode about jellyfishing should count as there have been mentions of jellyfishing conventions which is a recreational activity like sports, they hang out with Sandy who’s a martial artist who comes along to save them, episodes like Krusty Krushers about sports exist, and this is the antithesis of The Fry Cook Games. The Fry Cook Games pitted SpongeBob and Patrick against each other in numerous olympic style events, and that episode had actual heart in it. It captured the absurdity of how far they were going against each other, the spirit of competition between rivals, and was entertaining all the way throughout. This is such a frankenstein that does literally none of those things at all and treats all sports as just something that leads to heavy bruises, and it feels insulting coming from a show that has done so much better.

Sportz is almost without a doubt, the absolute worst episode of SpongeBob that has ever aired for me. It’s insulting, does so much worse than other episodes about sporting events, has insane stupidity, characters I can’t root for, and misses everything that can make a sporting episode fun. It’s such a disgrace and one of the worst pieces of media that I’ve ever consumed. Maybe one day Ink Lemonade will overtake this as my new number one, but it’ll take a while as I’ve had my gripes on this one for a long time. I hate the content of this, I hate how it relates to sports, and I fucking loathe that this basically acted as a cheap grab in for Nickelodeon’s shitty attempt at a sports awards show that’s dying off and will die off just like CN’s Hall of Game, because clearly these fucks didn’t learn from that failure!

Honest Slug: Oh boy, it's this episode. Having the SpongeBob crew play ridiculous sports is such a great concept, it seems like something that would just write itself... unfortunately every single aspect is botched and it ends up as one of the most infuriating and annoying episodes of the entire series. For one thing the characters are complete hot garbage and it's hard to root for anyone. Sportz presents SpongeBob and Patrick at their most ignorant and stupid, not even checking the box fully to see who it was for. That's only minor compared to Squidward though, in which this is his worst characterization in the entire series. Squidward doesn't like SpongeBob and Patrick, but essentially torturing them is just waaaaay too cruel and out-of line for Squidward. Now I know there's going to be that guy who says "B... b... but The Lost Mattress" in which you're wrong. While Squidward was putting SpongeBob and Patrick in harm's way, in that episode Squidward actually had a motivation so that he could get the mattress unharmed, in Sportz Squidward is just having SpongeBob and Patrick get mauled for his own pleasure. Plus in The Lost Mattress Squidward continually gets the short end of the stick while SpongeBob and Patrick never get hurt once. Meanwhile in Sportz Squidward abuses SpongeBob and Patrick successfully for 90% of the runtime until he gets a rushed payback. It also helps that The comedy in The Lost Mattress is brilliant where as the humor is Sportz is... well... yeah let's get into that. I don't even see where the jokes are. Even in the worst episodes I see more variation and wit in their humor. There are 3 jokes in this episode. The first joke is that SpongeBob and Patrick don't understand sports in the first act, which hinges on SpongeBob and Patrick's obnoxious stupidity, the next joke is SpongeBob and Patrick getting beat-up by Squidward's made-up sport, and in the end Squidward gets beaten up by Sandy, and I'm being generous not grouping that third joke in with the 2nd joke. I guess there's the "We're sports fan" joke which is an example of the writers not trusting their audience to understand the joke without explaining it. This has to be one of the most inept episodes I've ever seen in comedy. It's the worst of the "Wackiness is funny" humor that we've had since season 10. And with all these problems the plot is a complete train-wreck to boot. Literally anything that could've made this episode fun and exciting is replaced with the most boring trite imaginable. It just lingers on repeating gags for ages and loosely connecting random events, why is Squidward king of sports? Why is everyone worshiping him? This is a cartoon but when it gets this random you have to explain, otherwise it just shows how cheap and stupid this episode is. And then they just throw in Sandy at the last minute, she's not even a character in this episode, I'd describe her as a plot device, her purpose is literally just to end the plot when they need it too.

What were they thinking with this episode.

More: Since I know that Trophy and/or Honest Slug above me wrote long, vitriolic rants on this episode, I won't use this commentary to pick apart every last flaw. I wrote an essay for that purpose long ago. Instead, I'll use this opportunity to discuss an example of how Sportz? could be improved--in a way, expanding and concluding said essay. Because by premise alone, this could have easily been on par with "Patrick! The Game" as one of the series' best episodes.

Act 1:

Patrick and SpongeBob are on their way to visit Sandy's house, but they soon find out she was hired by the town for a project and was given materials and a mysterious box. Sandy explains that she has to help start a children's Summer Camp, but has to go out of town briefly to get groceries. She asks them to help set up and says they can play with the sports equipment while they wait. While SpongeBob's just wants to play a quick game of frisbee, an eager Patrick wants to get creative and make up a new game. They go back to their house so Patrick can make up the rules before playing. This bothers Squidward and he intervenes. He overhears their plans and while initially cynical--not thinking the game will work. However, he finds he can take it to his advantage by kindly helping craft the rules with Patrick... secretly to make the game impossible to win. SpongeBob then suggests they move it back to Sandy's house. I think a setup more like this would help ease us in to the role of each character, making them distinct, as well as leading into the conflict in a more interesting way. The episode proper merely repeatedly hurt Spongey and Pat for 6 minutes after they lollygagged for 5.

Act 2:

Sandy comes back, pleasantly surprised to see that Squidward's also willing to help in the project. , It just needs to be tested before the camp is opened to the public. Luckily, Patrick's silly game is the perfect way to do so. So the four get together on Sandy's grass. To use an example, let's say the game is similar to Capture the Flag... with a few changes. 1) there are silly mazes and obstacles all over the field to increase the challenge, and 2) there's an extra safety zone next to the flag where one team member can't be tagged. They split in twos and start. This leads to slapstick as SpongeBob and Patrick repeatedly trip and get knocked by progressively sillier objects, but they're still happy as they don't give up. While Squidward and Sandy have a lot of fun tagging their opponents and winning for the first few minutes, Sandy soon notices the game's flawed as the flag can't be captured: the turning point being players are suffering because of it.

After discussing the game with Sandy during breaks, SpongeBob comes to a realization that he's being tricked too. Distraught, he desperately tries to convince Patrick that the game needs to end. However, Patrick's stubborn and drags his feet that he can beat the "unbreakable tie" before ultimately sticking with Squidward. They need to settle it for good with a full-on competition. Thus, the main event of the sports game begins: SpongeBob and Sandy vs. Patrick and Squidward. This would both take advantage of SpongeBob's more rational and emotional side, while being in contrast for Patrick's ego, and it would give Sandy a more prominent role. I can imagine it would lead to a lot of fun visual and dialogue humor. Keeping it in Sandy's house would also help the story seem less rushed and more comfortable.

Act 3:

The sports game commences--0 to 0. Some of the kids start coming in to watch. It starts out seeming as if Squidward will lose immediately because of Sandy's prior knowledge and SpongeBob's teamwork. However, after losing 2-3 matches, he realizes he has a number of advantages. For example, while Sandy wins Basketball because of her Physics experience, Squidward wins tennis because he can flex easily and hit the ball swiftly, and Patrick might win wrestling with brute force. Like Snowball Effect we'd see Squidward getting too into the game At the last minute, the game's neck-and-neck. I think that this would help extend the meat of the episode into an exciting, fast-paced game where it's hard to predict what will happen. Of course, Sandy and SpongeBob are going to have to deliberate a plan to win as the other's egos get the best of them. With her help, he comes up with an idea to win that's completely out-of-nowhere and ridiculous, which causes Squidward gets his proper comeuppance for--as quoted by Roadie--"being an egoistical, pessimistic little ::dolphin noise::". They win the game, Patrick apologizes in disappointment, and the episode ends.

Of course, the story above is just a suggestion and the success of it would be in the exact details. It's just such a shame that four characters who have such flexible and individual roles haven't been used to anywhere near the fullest in "Sportz?". If it wasn't for a future episode coming along to dethrone it, (and I know we'll get to that one...) this would easily stand out as the biggest waste of potential in Post-Sequel SpongeBob.

 

29. Shuffleboarding

94 points. 6 out of 25 lists. Highest Ranking: #6 - @SOF

Summary:

Spoiler

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are watching TV in Shady Shoals Rest Home, when SpongeBob and Patrick suddenly appear and wake them up. Mermaid Man attacks SpongeBob with the "Mermerang," thinking he is a supervillain. In the resulting incident (caused by SpongeBob and Patrick), Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are injured and sent to the hospital.

While SpongeBob and Patrick go to the hospital to visit them, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy receive a call from the police commissioner, telling them that they will be celebrity guest contestants at the Bikini Bottom shuffleboarding competition. They are unable to attend in their condition, but SpongeBob then says both he and Patrick are certified Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy impersonators. They are given rings which produce rubber Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy costumes, and are told to immediately return them after the tournament.

After they win the shuffleboarding contest, they go to return the costumes, but Patrick convinces SpongeBob that if they do not save the town from evil, no one will. They begin throwing everyone they see in jail for completely unjustified reasons (including throwing away a Krabby Patty, chewing gum too loudly, and being "too old"). Eventually, they have arrested nearly everyone in Bikini Bottom, and decide to return the costumes. However, they see Man Ray entering a laundromat, and despite the fact that he is doing absolutely nothing wrong, they follow him in and arrest him after a fight scene, involving throwing Man Ray's head in the dryer, causing it to shrink. The jail is now so full of people that it literally explodes, causing people to fall down from the sky.

SpongeBob and Patrick return the costumes, and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy leave the hospital, but are confronted by an angry mob of the people who SpongeBob and Patrick wrongfully arrested, who start chasing them and SpongeBob and Patrick confuse them for fans.

Jjs: Shuffleboarding is an "interesting" episode, and one that's had high contention for years, especially due to dat misleading title. I used to dislike this episode a lot, and it was on my bottom 25 at least once before. It isn't anymore, strangely. More than anything now, I only find this episode stupid, but not stupid enough to make my list. I will surprisingly say this in defense of the episode: I actually don't mind the abrupt plot shift anymore, at least at a basic level. Let's be honest guys: Would SpongeBob and Patrick shuffle-boarding really have been that interesting premise for an episode? Probably not. Therefore, I see why the crew decided to make ditching the tournament into a joke, even if the execution could've been a lot better. THAT BEING SAID however, boy, they could have done something a lot more clever for the second half. The whole SpongeBob and Patrick arresting people and then bothering Man Ray shenanigans were plain stupid and not funny to me. If they wanted to change the plots midway in, fine, but they could've at least given us something actually interesting and funny for the second half, unlike what we actually got. Stupid episode, but not one I dislike that much anymore.

Wintermelon: So this is an episode that I think I hate more than most do. It IS generally considered a bad episode, but not outright terrible, or at least not 2nd worst of the season like I think. In fact, even as a kid, I hated this episode, and I liked tons of bad episodes as a kid. I'm surprised, but glad, that this episode even made it into the twenties in the first place. The reason why I hate this episode is because it's really annoying. The main gag of the episode is Spongebob and Patrick arresting people for stupid reasons, which I don't find funny, but actually just really annoying. The reasons for them being arrested are rather stupid and unfunny, such as being too old, having untied shoes, and in Man Ray's case, really just existing. Speaking of the Man Ray Scene, that one at least gave good action, but it still sucks because Man Ray and the lady he's with are arrested for pretty much no reason. But yeah, Spongebob and Patrick literally arrest everyone in bikini bottom for the stupidist reasons, just because they were pretending to be Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Which speaking of that, this whole plot point leads to two more terrible things about the episode. One is that Barnacle Boy tells Spongebob and Patrick to bring the costumes back to them after the shuffleboarding tournament, and you'd think they'd listen to their heros who they're big fans of, but instead they just ignore what they said and keep the costumes. They didn't even just forget about it, they literally mention it and decide "nah, let's just keep them and stop crime anyway". The second thing is that it leads to Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy getting even more unfair treatment. They already get smacked around with that boomerang and then land down to the mermalair really hard and get hospitalized before this, but I could of excused that since Spongebob and Patrick didn't intend for that to happen. And while I know Mermaid Man and Barnacle boy being angrily chased (and possibly hurt afterward) by the bikini bottomites wasn't intended by them either, it's their fault since they did all those terrible arrests earlier and making it seem like they did it. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy did nothing to deserve being angrily chased and potentially harmed by the bikini bottomites, they get the comeuppance Spongebob and Patrick deserved for no reason, whereas Spongebob and Patrick get no punishment for it. So yeah, that's why I hate this episode so much. It's overall very annoying, not very funny, and it gives the comeuppance to the wrong characters.

Edited May 21, 2018 by jjsthekid

[So Sejima]

30: Insulting piece of garbage and everything in it exists to push forward a bunch of repetitive bullshit, don't need to say any further

29: Made mine at 14th for doing nothing with Shuffleboarding, basically acting as clickbait, just for....laundry shenanigans and them over-doing everything as vigilantes, because they totally have everything out for all of the citizens and would definitely stretch their beliefs into imprisoning them all while on patrol. This and Professor Squidward make up my least favorite episode pairing of the show with Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful/A Pal for Gary being a very close second.

[WinterArcanine]

Sportz: Bad episode and um.............. I don't think I need to say anything else here lol

Shuffleboarding: THERE I AM GARY, THERE I AM

Episodes on my bottom 50 to show up so far:

50: ??? 

49: Whatever Happened to Spongebob

48: The Play's the Thing

47: ???

46: ???

45: ???

44: ???

 43: Face Freeze

42: ???

41: Plankton's Regular

 40: ???

 39: Pet Sitter Pat

38: ???

37: ???

36: ???

35: ???

 34: Sportz?

 33: ???

32: ???

31: ???

30: Good Neighbors

29: ???

28: The Thing

27: ???

26: ???

25: ???

24: Sun Bleached

23: ???

22: ???

21: ???

20: ???

19: ???

18: ???

17: ???

16: ???

15: ???

14: ???

13: ???

12: ???

11: ???

10: Cephalopod Lodge

9: ???

8: Shuffleboarding

7: ???

6: ???

5: ???

4: ???

3: ???

2: ???

1: ???

(I moved one episode further down since this started, so this list I'm using here is different than the one I submitted)

[RD Rockruff]

Trophy will want me dead for saying this but... I don't think Sportz? is THAT bad. I don't think it's all that good but definitely not #1 bad. It was just... mediocre. 4.5/10, fight me all you want but that won't change for now.

As for Shuffleboarding? It's also another episode that I don't think is that bad but I also wouldn't return to it unless I needed to.

[Less_SpongeBob]

Well, I suppose this is a good long streak of episodes I agree with. Not all of these episodes made my list, but ones like Cephalopod Lodge, Pineapple Fever and Tentacle Vision all seem to suffer from the same exact common flaws of the season's big grudge against Squidward. Are You Happy Now? was definitely one of the most extreme examples (it was my #19), it's depressing and I find it completely off-putting that SpongeBob would tackle a matter like clinical depression for laughs. Shuffle-Boarding is easily the most lousy of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's episodes. While the twist of winning the tournament was a good subversion the direction they picked for the second half was infuriating and repetitive. As for Sportz?, just scroll up, but I can't bring myself to hate it nearly as much as the other two commentators. (It barely scraped by my list at #25 and I debated doing so)

 

1. ???

2. ???

3. ???

4. ???

5. ???

6. Pet Sitter Pat (#41)

7. ???

 8. Squidward's School for Grown-Ups (#39)

9. ???

10. Atlantis SquarePantis (#36)

11. ???

12. ???

13. ???

14. ???

15. Sun Bleached (#43)

 16. ???

 17. ???

18. ???

19. Are You Happy Now? (#32)

20. ???

21. ???

22. ???

23. ???

24. ???

 25. Sportz? (#30)

Edited May 20, 2018 by More

[BoJack Horseman]

I didn't find Sportz to be as offensive and insulting as Trophy but I'll say that the entire episode was just nothingness. It made my list not because it was offensively bad, I can think of more mean-spirited episodes than this. It was because it didn't even try at anything. It repeated same joke over and over and it got tiresome. Slapstick is funny if it fits the plot and it's used in different outcomes (Teacher's Pests and Bottle Burglars are great examples of this). Here, it's just "lol, SpongeBob and Patrick get hurt but they don't mind it.". More came up with a better story to do this episode differently, hell It should have been 22 minutes based on her story. Squidward/Patrick vs SpongeBob/Sandy dynamic could have been actually interesting, even though this episode was more of SB/Pat and Sandy vs Squidward. What a wasted potential. Gimme The Fry Cook Games over this anytime.

Shuffleboarding sucks to me not because it was a clickbait title. If you wanted SpongeBob/Patrick keeping Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's costumes and do some shenanigans, that's okay for me but I would rather see them failing at it and use that as a comedy than them repeatedly arresting everyone for dumb reasons and their heroes paying the price for it. It made my list because it failed at what could have been an interesting theme of "adapting to your heroes but not fully following their idealogies" but the episode was bad at it. Again, I'll compare this to an actual episode that did this better: MermaidPants.

[Wumbo]

Any defense of Sportz I can possibly give is pretty much going to pale in comparison to the theses written up there, so congrats guys, by sheer volume you shut me up on that one.

Shuffleboarding made my list, though. Such a dull, lame, pointless episode. That it even shares a category with the other Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy episodes infuriates me.

[101 Dalmatian Street]

I wasn't honestly expecting "Sportz?" to be one of those post-SOOW episodes to make the list until I've just remembered that it wasn't very well-liked. Really though, it's that bad? I guess I might as well give it a re-watch sooner or later. I'm still expecting "Krusty Katering" to make an appearance, but I have a feeling I might be the only one here who can't stand that episode.

[Wumbo]

This is literally the first time I've even heard of "Krusty Katering" so I wouldn't hold my breath

[Honest Slug]

Sportz: Horrible garbage that should've never been made.

Shuffleboarding: Pretty bad too. SpongeBob and Patrick are very annoying.

My list: 

Spoiler

1.     

2.    Sportz? (#30)

3.     

4.     Atlantis SquarePantis (#36)

5.     

6.     

7.     

8.     

9.     

10.   Squidward’s School for Grown Ups (#39)

11.   

12.   

13.   Are You Happy Now? (#32)

14.   

15.   

16.   

17.   

18.   

19.   

20.   

21.   Gone (#45)

22.   

23.   

24.   

25.   

 

[Amphibia]

Sportz: Trophy, i respected your opinion, but i'll just gonna say it this right now: this episode isn't bad to me. Like i get you don't like the way the adverting  spoiled the ending, but i can at least say: I actually liked it. I mean, sure Squidward is trying change the rules of sports that SB & Patrick doesn't really know how sports works until Sandy shows up. When she realized how Squiwdward is using them to hurt themselves. Sandy has her idea to outsmart Squidward by playing these games like Olympics style which is fair for her to punish Squidward. the ending actually kind of resolved how Squidward deserved to be punished for trying to hurt SB & Patrick. that's the reason i liked the episode personally.

But yeah, it's unpopular opinion, it''s fine if you dislike it, but like i said before, it wasn't that bad tbh.

Shuffleboarding : This honestly made on my list. This reason that I dislike this episode is that how stupid plot that ruined it for me. I mean I get SB & Patrick were trying to help MM&BB to take care the entire day, but nope they were just dicking around and messing with arresting innocent...my god it's ammoying to me. Also, it pissed me off how lazy it written with SB & Patrick thinking ttey're "saving" the city...even Man Ray was annoyed by them for no good reason. I honestly don't like it's because badily paced, and how horrible it was. But this is just my personal opinion to hate it. Absolutely  awful episode IMO.

[Dragonball Z]

Unpopular opinion time, I think "Sportz" is an okay episode. "Shuffleboarding" is a boring, misleading piece of garbage!  I would've RATHER seen the actual shuffleboarding than the episode we DID get! Enough said for now!