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Clappy

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Sorry if this is rushed but I'm in a bit of a hurry today since I'm working a double but at the same time, I know I've been holding this back for too long. Plus it's always hard to just praise the good pop for being good. It's just great stuff. All of this. It's hard to craft because I think my best list of 2008 would hold up very well against other years I've done. I think I'll go as far to say either this or 2006 was my strongest best list quality wise. Which really goes to show that I need to do an earlier year my next time out which is why, I'm going to go ahead and announce while I'm typing this best list out that whenever I do one of these again, I'm going to recap the year:

1977

Yeah, the 70s. I'm probably going to aim to do that year in the fall since I know you guys are probably yearly recapped out with not just one, but two users doing this every month. So I'm going to focus more on recapping the current hits more than the ones of yesteryear. :P

Anyway, so here you guys, with much delay:

CLAPPY'S TOP 10 BEST HITS OF 2008

#10

Spoiler

10. "Superstar" - Lupe Fiasco (featuring Matthew Santos)



Honestly, Lupe has a lot better stuff than this. Which is really saying something in terms of how underrated Lupe is as an artist including by myself. That Lupe can still make my best list with his B+ game shows how fantastic he is as a rapper. What this reminds me a lot of is this:



One of my favorite Kanye West songs and Adam Levine guest spots. Take the basic gist of that as we take a melancholy look that being a celebrity is not all that it's cracked up to be. It's too subtle, slow and sad to be a hit in today's hip hop climate, which is all the more reason this song has aged well as the years go by and makes me wish that we had more Lupe Fiasco's....or that Lupe Fiasco would be more relevant in 2015.



#9

Spoiler

This joint right here makes me want to let it go every time I hear it.

9. "Just Fine" - Mary J Blige



The Happy of 2008. Just a song that makes you absolutely positive to be alive and not letting negative vibes kill your mood. Mary J Blige is more than just fine. She's all time great. We need more of her today because she was always a joy to listen to on the radio.



#8

Spoiler

Oh Rihanna. If there is an artist I admit to being way too hard on, she is the first one on the top of my list. But can you blame me? From 2006-2013, it was impossible to escape her when she was releasing a new album every single year. Like give the damn girl a break. That's why as an artist, I usually find Rihanna uninspiring. But there are times where I'm willing to admit that she has a great song in her.

8. "Disturbia" - Rihanna



While there will never be another Thriller, if I had to make a comparison to a song that can be that creepily catchy from the 2000s, it would be this one. Like Rihanna comes off as haunted perfectly and just the eery lyrics and that hook just draw me in every time. Who is responsible for writing something this MJ inspired?

Chris+Brown+Entertainment+Weekly+2008+GR

Oh really? Well color me impressed Chris. Yeah Chris Brown was all over 2008 and I have to thank him a lot for making a throwback that even MJ would be impressed by.

 

#7

Spoiler

It's Britney bitch.



Yeah this is an audio trainwreck. Britney in general was a trainwreck around this time frame. Always being in the eye of the public for being a massive mess of a person. Eventually all of this had to boil up inside her and she had to tell off the paparazzi in possibly one of the best ways possible.

7. "Piece of Me" - Britney Spears



Now that's how you say fuck you to haters. What's great about this Britney is owning up to the fact that she has been viewed in such a bad light for as many years as she was. She's human just like everyone else and just because she's been famous since 17 doesn't mean she can't make mistakes too. I'm always willing to defend and feel sympathetic artists who didn't have an actual childhood so of course they are prone to make errors in judgment. And if that means we get possibly the best Britney Spears song in a decade, I'm willing to forgive Britney Spears for driving with a child on her lap, accidentally flashing her vag, shaving her head off, melting down at the VMAs....ok well not all of these, but it's a step in the right direction musically.

 

#6

Spoiler

Hey remember when I brought up my unbashed love for A Milli on my worst list lead-up to revealing Lollipop?

6. "A Milli" - Lil Wayne



I'm sorry....you know what. Fuck that. I'm not sorry. This is fantastic. Everything about this that just makes me furious, makes me love it even more. This is Lil Wayne on his A+ game. His flow here is just untouchable and just takes him leaps and bounds above so many others. As much as Lil Wayne wastes his talents, when he's on, he's beyond on. I'm willing to buy him as the self-proclaimed greatest rapper alive when he releases straight up bangers like this.

 

#5

Spoiler



Fuck this song. I may not have done a honorable mentions list this time around, but if I did, I would have included this on it. It's audio trash with unstimulating lyrics. Thank goodness this was not my lasting impression of Katy Perry.

5. "Hot N Cold" - Katy Perry



Katy Perry you changed my mind, like a girl changes clothes. I went all the way to loving you the moment I heard this. This is a pure fun pop song throwback to the days of 80s pop from the likes of Tiffany. Not to mention a great burn track. Don't know who burned Katy Perry's bridges but I wish she would do more stuff like this than the likes of Part of Me she ended up doing later on in her career. But yeah this is the type of Katy Perry that I love, not the melodramatic or just too tasteless type we've been getting lately.

 

#4

Spoiler

You know for as much guest spotting T-Pain did in his career, not everything he did was shit. But of course only an all time great rapper would be able to fully capitalize on....yeah you guys know who I'm referring to.

4. "Good Life" - Kanye West (featuring T-Pain)



Now this is a song that artists should replicate if they want to know about appreciating all of the good things that come with being a huge celebrity. I mean yeah sure Kanye talks about spending his money on dropping it on alcohol, women, and all of the finer things which would normally make me hate a song like this, but he also talks about how he never stopped giving up on his dream along the way. See? That right there is the problem with most songs along these lines. Not everyone tells the story along the way and just jumps straight to the bragging. It's that right there that makes a good song into a great one. One of my personal favorites from Graduation....

 

#3

Spoiler

...oh wait there was this....

3. "Flashing Lights" - Kanye West (featuring Dwele)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ila-hAUXR5U

....I'm sorry, where was I? This song is so hypnotic. This is a great throwback to rap pre-Run DMC disco days. It's just gorgeously airy one of the most unabashedly graceful things heard on a commercial hip-hop record in years. This is just classic Kanye in all of the right ways. Self-possessed. Artistic af. Just way to clever for it's time frame. If it wasn't for Stronger, this would be my favorite Kanye song from Graduation. Just an overall wonderful album that is my second favorite cd Kanye has ever done.

 

#2

Spoiler

For as much shit as Chris Brown gets as an artist for how he is as a person, he can make damn good pop music when he's on his A game.

2. "Forever" - Chris Brown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMKX22BHeE

This is arguably Chris Brown's best song. I mean it's insanely catchy and is the perfect mesh of mixing a love song into a catchy dance song. I mean this is a rarity where Chris Brown is able to outdo Usher in the same year with his similar love/dance anthem "Love in this Club". But honestly, this is a Michael Jackson song set in 2008 more than anything else. Just everything about this is glorious and I love this song to death. I'm willing to admit to classifying Chris Brown as a guilty pleasure artist, but my love for this is not guilt at all. It's 100% pleasure.

 

#1

Spoiler

When I first started doing this, I knew nothing was going to top my number one. But I was more than willing to be proven wrong. Turns out, my gut instinct was right. Not only is this my favorite pop song of 2008, but it's one of my favorites of the 2000s period.

1. "Love Song" - Sara Bareilles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi7Yh16dA0w

Everything about this song is just perfect. Especially when reading what kind of state Sara was in while writing this song and seeing her smile all the way through this music video and all performances I've seen her do of this. It's just amazing how talented she is. Sara Bareilles will always be one of the more underappreciated pop artists of the past decade and she puts past adult-pop artists of the past decade to shame like Natalie Merchant, Alanis Morrisette, etc. We need more Sara Bareilles in this world. Brave or no Brave, Wumbo. :P

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SHOW ME HOW BIG YOUR BRAVE IS

 

nice list claps :P Good to see some Rihanna on there!

Yeah even I admit it felt good to put her on there. That song deserves to be recognized as one of her best by me.
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Not trying to knock Shake it Off, but Piece of Me does the job better.

I love Shake It Off and even I agree. One of Britney's best ever because she was legit paparazzi fodder more so than Taylor.
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Just because Wumbo asked me to, I might as well:


"Want to Want Me" - Jason DeRulo

















......sigh




Why do I keep getting requests to review this guy's stuff? Are you guys really tired of me beating a dead horse? This loathesome toad has drained every last ounce of hate out of me that it's honestly becoming quite sad that I have to keep acknowledging his existence. He doesn't have a single bit of talent, yet somehow 2014 was his biggest year ever. Three hits on the year end Hot 100 and all three of them sucked. Talk Dirty may have not made my Bottom 10 because of it's production that somehow has influenced other artists to pretty much borrow elements from it, but it's still an absolutely tasteless piece of trash. It's absolutely lucky though that Trumpets and Wiggle were a 1-2 punch of atrocious that it made me lighten up on it. And now we have Jason DeRulo back again this summer with a whole new album and me getting ready to brace for impact on the shitstorm that is coming this way. Here is the lead off single amusingly titled Want to Want Me....haha that's funny. Nobody actually wants to want you around, but go ahead. Bring it on. I can take it.

Spoiler



....

Wow I actually took it and lived to tell the tale. That was....tolerable....but still completely unbelievable.

Ok so let me get this out of the way first. Just because it's a Jason DeRulo song doesn't mean I automatically have my hatred glasses on. The reason I've come to hate everything I hear from this guy is because he is confused as to what he wants to be as an artist and you can definitely tell it from his music. He has no distinct personality or character traits to make us relate to him as an artist. He's just a dumb guy who wants to get laid, just like nearly every other R&B artist, yet somehow he manages to have more hits than your Jeremih's, your Taio Cruz's, and every other Chris Brown wannabe that came onto the scene since 2009. He's definitely the worst of them in my honest opinion. I hate him because he's a run-of-the-mill, autotuned, dance rapping pop star with music that has no purpose and does absolutely nothing for anybody yet somehow keeps getting massive amounts of mainstream radio play. Absolutely nothing distinct rubs off on him as an entertainer because he has no idea what demographic he wants to aim for. Kinda like B.o.B. minus the fact that Bobby Ray actually has talent. But you guys have heard me make my claim time and time again as to why I hate him, but let me tell you why I'm repeating myself in regards to this song.

After spending all of last year making us think that he was heading in the direction of sleazy R&B just like Chris Brown, he decides to go back to his 2010-2011 routes with Want to Want Me by making straight up mainstream pop. That's already an example of how confused we are as a listening public because we just heard this guy telling girls to talk dirty to him, telling them they know what to do with their big fat butts, telling them how he hears music in his head every time they get undressed. It's hard to not have that stain him in such a bad light when we hear him say things like:

You open the door
Wearing nothing but a smile, fell to the floor
And you whisper in my ear, "Baby, I'm yours."
Ooh, just the thought of you gets me so high, so high


While those are a definite step up in lyrics for this sleazeball, that's not what I picture when I hear him say this. I think of the same gross douchebag getting laid hearing symphonies in his head just looking at this girl. I can't take a single lyric in this song seriously because Jason DeRulo already shattered his image with all of that down and dirty hip-hop/pop he released last year. You spent an entire year making us view you in that sort of light that listening to this makes me not buy a single word of this. But seriously though, the thought of her gets you so high? I don't want to hear you parade about your boner asshole.

Also you want her to want you? At least provide a reason as to why she should want you because you aren't doing anything to prove to her why you are a prize. Another thing that does not help this song is having Jason DeRulo sing 75-80% in his upper register. Dude, you can't sing. Whoever told you to sing this song for that large of a portion that highly, I have to blame for the amounts of blood coming out of my ears.

Regardless of this song having a complete identity crisis for it's artist, this is a definite step up for Jason DeRulo. I would much rather hear this more than anything I heard from him last year. Despite that though. this is a 4/10 song at best. I think the best comparison I can give this to is Wrecking Ball:



I wasn't fond of this either more for being tediously dull and boring. That song suffered from the performer too because Miley already gave us this image of her only to try and release something entirely different, but not doing a damn thing as an artist to make us believe her in a song out of her wheelhouse. Granted, at least DeRulo has dove into pure pop years ago, he doesn't do enough with this song to make me believe him as an artist because Jason DeRulo can't convey himself as an artist to begin with. This song COULD have worked if it was for someone else.

But hey, that makes it my favorite Jason DeRulo song by default, so maybe this guy could change for the better and make me notice him as an artist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVuyCLXcvEs

 

...OH NOW YOU ARE JUST FUCKING WITH ME. GO FUCK YOURSELF JASON DERULO YOU PIECE OF INEPT GARBAGE!

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Another claptastic review. This song isn't that bad, but still not that great either.

 

As for Get Ugly, I might review that since I'm apparently a masochist now :-)

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Jason Derulo is like Rihanna in that he finds every possible way to stay relevant.

This is true except Rihanna is at least a believable superstar.  I can't even believe Jason DeRulo as a star.

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So you guys asked for change?  Well we finally got it.  Some of the stagnant hits of 2015 are now finally leading their way out of the Top 10 so we get fresh radio singles.  I know I’ve complained about chart stagnancy ever since this thread opened, but damn 2015 has been really bad when it comes to that issue.  We’ve had just FOUR SONGS ascend to the number one spot this year.  I haven’t covered Uptown Funk yet on this thread, but I don’t need to.  Everyone knows that song is fantastic and is probably going to be on every music critic’s Top 10 hit list this year.  The other two I’ve not had strong opinions on in this thread as you can already tell.  So let’s keep the progress going and cover our new number one hit….from 2012?!?!  You’re telling me that song that’s three years old is finally a number one hit.  Christ 2015 is getting bored of itself.

 

“Cheerleader” – OMI

 

Spoiler

 

So let’s talk about a genre we touched upon a year ago, reggae fusion.  You know when we get most hit songs from this genre?  Summertime.  It’s not hard to see why because when you think of summer, you think of relaxing by the beach…or in my case lake.  Drinking fruity drinks, sunbathing, going on vacation.  As much as I loathed Rude, I get why it got popular.  It’s because of the season it got huge in where people want simple fun songs to jam to on their summer road trips or relaxation.  Now its one year later and history seems to be repeating itself again.  A song that got huge from our neighbors up north (hi Wumbo) has become huge stateside. 

 

But wait Clappy, OMI isn’t Canadian.  True that skeptic, OMI is from Jamaica.  And I should probably backtrack what I said about Canada because this song hit number one in numerous countries around the world.  It’s just the song became big in Canada before ironically coming stateside not too long after.  It’s Magic! all over again is what I’m trying to get at.  But honestly, I can see why this became a worldwide smash single.  It’s an incredibly simple song.  It doesn’t take too many risks, it’s about a simple subject material (my girlfriend is a keeper), and the production doesn’t overcomplicate itself to try and really stand out.  It’s a very easy song to get stuck in your head and it’s very easy going.  It’s your basic one hit wonder song that got big at the right time period.  Nothing really much to say, I think I’m done here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok I can’t end this here.  This song is too simple for its own good.  I can’t fully support this song being a number one hit.  I think my problem with this is that OMI has no personality.  Is that an actual person?  I can’t tell because his voice is so heavily processed that OMI has to be a robot.  Obvious Mechanical Intelligence.  HE’S A ROBOT!  No but seriously, we get no vibe from this guy at all as to who he is that it’s nearly impossible to even classify him as an artist because that would mean an artist would have personality...and an actual voice.  It’s not a bad song by any means.  It’s just BORING.  Also, another thing that bugs me about it is this part right here:

 

Do you need me?
Do you think I'm pretty?
Do I make you feel like cheating?
And I'm like no, not really 'cause

 

Only to be contradicted by this:

 

All these other girls are tempting

 

Dude, if you found yourself a cheerleader, then clearly she can’t be the one if you are still feeling the slightest bit of temptation.  But I’ll give Cheerleader this, at least it’s not this:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go7gn6dugu0

 

Now that’s a song about possible temptation done very poorly.

 

So yeah, OMI may have found himself a cheerleader and spends the entire chorus talking about how she is always right there when he needs her.  But this song isn’t even worth reviewing.  It’s boring and I can’t believe a song this dull and simplistic is our new number one hit.  Thank god Can’t Feel My Face is quickly catching its tail to replace it at number one.

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See You Again is a song that I'd put on to sleep.

I just really am disappointed with pop lately, which is sad because I love pop.

That's why you switch to alt-rock radio

 

Better yet, I actually listen to it while i'm sleeping  :NUGGETS:

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praise britney, the holy spearit @the 2007 list (also gimme more is flawless how dare you) 

To each their own.  Gimme More is trite.

 

Hmm, I haven’t done of these in about a year or so.  Time for another edition of

 

SONG vs SONG

 

Where I review two songs by the same artist and decide which one is better.  Today’s artist.  He has had three Top 10 hits in 2015 so far with one of them likely to bounce back into the Top 10 in the next few weeks.  He is the man who I once thought was two guys, but turns out to just have a very abnormal voice (and hair, what the hell is that on his head): The Weeknd!  Yeah, who would have thought that this guy would be one of the faces of music in 2015?  The same sleazebag who I already tackled earlier this year for having the skin crawling piece of shit Earned It is one of the biggest artists of 2015.  I...I don’t get it.  So let’s talk about him again shall we?  What did I say about him last time?

 

 

 

I've read websites comparing The Weeknd to a modern day Michael Jackson.  Really?  What about this guy gives off any sort of MJ vibes?  At least Michael Jackson was able to show complexity as an artist.  The Weeknd has done nothing more for me than to show me that he can grow as an artist.  He has certainly not earned anything to really get my respect just yet.  Maybe someday The Weeknd will make a R&B song that I'll like but when he already have Usher and Ne-Yo who can pull of the sultry vibe a hell of a lot better, I'd rather have one of them than a guy who makes a skin crawling song about BDSM.

 

….lol I really need to take my talents to Las Vegas or Atlantic City.  I can win millions with how many calls I get correct.  But there is something else that I didn’t say in that less than stellar review for Earned It.  The Weeknd owes a lot of his success to fellow Canadian hip-hop/R&B artist Drake.  Drake majorly backed this guy featuring him on Nothing Was The Same and vice versa by being featured on The Weeknd’s previous album, going on tour with him in 2014.  It was only a due amount of time before having as big of a name as Drake helped shine off some success to The Weeknd.  But not in as big of a way as it’s been working wonders for him.  It’s only fitting too that his newest album is the biggest release of next month.  The Weeknd is becoming a star right in front of our very eyes people.

 

“The Hills” vs “Can’t Feel My Face”

 

So let’s see if the smash success of Earned It had any influence on his music style.  Let’s start with:

 

Spoiler

 

Wha….?

 

........................

 

Did he…did he…he couldn’t.  Did he just sample The Hills Have Eyes?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkdskdFemWM

 

That’s one of the most mind-blowing samples I’ve ever listened to….and surprisingly, it works?  I can see what The Weeknd is trying to do with this song shockingly.  He is taking the eerie Hills Have Eyes sample, the warped out guitars, the shrill screaming and fuse it with the bleak horror-movie tones to take a different stance on trap-flavored hip-hop and R&B that you are seeing guys like Fetty Wap, Young Thug, Rich Home Quan do.  If trap is the big flavor for the genre, why not go all out experimental with it.  I'll also give The Weeknd credit for at least sketching the lyrics with the creepy, unstable air of the sort of psychopath who would have lyrics like 'when I'm fucked up, that's the real me'.

 

But despite understanding, I don't buy this at all, and it has everything to do with The Weeknd's voice and writing. To be blunt, he doesn’t have the ability to push this sort of sinister vibe in mainstream R&B and make it work.  The larger issue is that The Weeknd isn't visceral or all that shocking, at least not as much as he thinks he is because he’s too caught up in his own pretentiousness. 

 

I'm just tryna get you out the friend zone

'Cause you look even better than the photos

 

Is this supposed to be a parody of sleazy R&B pickup lines?  If it is, it’s not trying hard enough.

 

The Weeknd’s voice is too whiny and off-pitched, no matter how many layers the production tries slather on top of it.  Which combine all of this together and it gets to the song’s real problem.  It’s unlistenable.  It’s a dreary train wreck every time I hear it.  I get that The Weeknd use to do this kind of stuff before his big break into the mainstream in the past year, but after actually listening to some of his past stuff, it’s far more well put together and actually seems like he’s trying to make actual music instead of what we’re getting here.  I would rather have a bunch of chemical hazard mutants try to experiment and/or slaughter me before listening to this….hey if The Weeknd can reference The Hills Have Eyes, so can I.

 

Spoiler

 

But dear god, for as much as I don’t like The Hills, I love Can’t Feel My Face even more.

 

Originally this was written for Justin Timberlake and while I wonder why we didn’t get this on that mythical totally non existant 20/20 Experience Part 2, I was initially worried with how we could go from JT to someone I don’t even respect in The Weeknd.  But The Weeknd tries to pretend to be Michael Jackson and you know what?  It’s the best impression I’ve seen in a while.  If Chris Brown is going to stop trying to pretend to be Michael, I’ll gladly have The Weeknd take his place.  It’s like he’s making me eat my words about questioning the comparisons and while I still think The Weeknd isn’t as emotionally connected in this song as he could be, his voice actually works completely here.  I actually owe my appreciation for this song to uber producer Max Martin.  For as much shit as I gave Max Martin in the past for songs like Break Free, he has made a ton of likeable pop songs in the past for me like nearly every Katy Perry single from her Teenage Dream album, nearly every Taylor Swift pop song from 2012 to the present.  Max Martin is on his absolute A+ production game here by blending The Weeknd’s vocals with absolute energy and just gives us a soon to be 2015 classic.

 

And while we’re at it, is it crazy to say I love the new music video almost as much?  It’s The Weeknd paying homage to Michael Jackson by pulling off classic MJ dance moves in front of an audience at a night club and most people thinking it sucks.  This type of self-loathing is actually hilarious and putting him on fire is just too ridiculous to not enjoy and he still impresses the girl in the end.  It’s a simple video sure, but it’s genius.  It’s rubbing my ego because I question the MJ comparisons and the audience is thinking so as well rolling their eyes, throwing their drinks, and setting him on fire.

 

But despite noting the MJ comparisons, I have to say this.  Is it crazy that I think the real influence to The Weeknd’s music is actually Prince?  I think writing this double review made me realize that despite how everyone is looking for the next Michael, we often forget that Prince was pretty influential in the musical industry as well and someone that often goes incredibly underrated because of how dominant Michael Jackson was.  Well guys, I can totally see The Weeknd comparisons with Prince.  Prince had as abnormal of a voice and often released some pure pop smashes as well as try to often experiment with music like this:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbQd65Ff6-8

 

For the record, Batdance still sucks despite my odd fascination with how bad it is.  But yeah, by no means do I think The Weeknd will be nearly as influential in the music industry as the likes of Prince.  But I can see The Weeknd at least trying to take influence in some of his big hits from the 80s and respect it.  I’m not calling myself a fan of The Weeknd at all, but maybe he should take a page from Bruno Mars and do more experimental throwbacks to past music genres.  It’s working massive wonders for Bruno since he’s releasing some of the best music of his career these past few years.  If The Weeknd is going to crossover into pop music, he should do more of this.  It’s a good look and sound for him.  So yeah, Can’t Feel My Face is definitely a step in the right direction.  One of the best pop songs I’ve heard this year.  I approve.

 

So yeah is it even a question?  Can't Feel My Face > The Hills.  All day, every day.

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