Popular Post Sweat Posted June 22, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2018 Squidward: Greetings, viewers! My name is Squidward Tentacles and welcome to the first episode of Squidward Chat! Today, I'm honored to introduce our special guest... S: Well, It's a start... 5 3 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 brad pitt be lookin like a snack. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Eugene Krabs Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 I’m not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Squidward. 4 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoBibbles Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 1 hour ago, kevin said: brad pitt be lookin like a snack. damnnnnnnnn ikr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted June 22, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2018 Episode 1: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Welcome back, loyal viewers! I hope you didn't miss me too much when I was gone! -audience stays silent- : W-well anyway, I managed to send enough angry emails that we actually have a special guest today! Or at least as special as we can get in this town, am I right? -crickets- : I hope that one day, I can get an actual studio audience that isn't just SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in lawn chairs behind the camera. : You're doing great, Squidward! : zzz : ... Before we get to our special guest, I'd like to talk about current events going on in our world today so you, uneducated viewer, can be aware of what shapes the world around you! In Bikini Bottom news, Mrs. Puff's Boating School celebrates its 30th anniversary since it first opened up to educate the feebleminded youth of this town on how to safely operate a motor vehicle! It's just a shame that so many of those years, Mrs. Puff had to endure SpongeBob's idiocy. : I may have been in Boating School for a long time, but at least I have the most Good Noodle stars because of it! : In other local news, Donald Trump has stated that North Korea has begun its denuclearization process, yet officials see no evidence of any such action taken by them... neat! That's your dose of current events for the day and I hope I have at least partially enlightened you as a viewer. : Who's Donald Trump? : I think it's time to announce our special guest, one of the most successful businessmen in Bikini Bottom along with the sole person responsible for half of heart disease cases in town. Please welcome, Eugene Krabs! -Krabs enters the stage- : OHMYGOSHITSMRKRABSIMYOURBIGGESTFANGBFDGFDBFDGFHSFDB : zzz : I'm glad you've come to my show, Krabs. : Anything to advertise me business! This better be good or yer fired, Mr. Squidward. : I promise, it's going to be an enriching experience for both of us. : Eating at the Krusty Krab is an enriching experience as well! In fact, for all of ye watching Mr. Squidward's program, if you come to the Krusty Krab and ask for the Squidward Chat special, you'll get a double Krabby Patty with fries and medium drink for only 3 dollars extra! : How have you been recently, Eugene? : I've been just wonderful, me lad! The past few days have been beautiful and I've been makin' more money than ever! : That's great to hear, sir- I-I mean Eugene. How has your family been treating you? : Pearl has been just as much of a sweetheart as ever, even if she can get on my nerves! Ararararar. Mother has been a pain in the neck, though, as she grounded me yesterday after I told her to [bleep] off! : At least you stood up for yourself. : I sure did! : Y'know Eugene, I may hate my job, but one thing I have always admired about you is your humble beginnings and your journey all the way to the top. Do you have any tips for me and the audience on how to achieve the same dream? : Why, I sure do! The best tip I can give for future businessmen is to tap into what the public is addicted to. I didn't earn me millionth dollar and counting just by creating a product that would taste good. The patties that SpongeBob over there flips doesn't just make me customers satisfied once. They come back for more not because they want more, but because they need more. It's the ingredients within the ingredients that me paying customers can't get enough of once they get hooked! Sure, many of them get terrible ailments from too much of me food, but what matters most to me is the money. These days, no self-respecting businessman can make very much without taking advantage of their customers, and that's the best tip I can give for ye. : ... : ... : Thanks for coming, Eugene. : Squidward Chat Special! Only three dollars extra! -Krabs exits- : Looks like we're out of time, thank you for for tuning into the first airing of Squidward Chat, with your host, yours truly! : WHOOOO! : ZZZ 1 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Chan Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Fantastic work, had me laughing my ass off! I hope someday I can be a guest on here. (provided I have an air helmet, that is, haha!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted June 22, 2018 Author Share Posted June 22, 2018 We'll see if Squidward's production team can find a way to get Jackie Chan underwater without accidentally drowning him. 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Biden Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 boy it's a good thing gcas didn't happen last month because i'm gonna nominate this show for all categories next time 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 this is amazing start, Hal keep it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Eugene Krabs Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 (edited) Arararar! It was a pleasure being with you lad. Eat at the Krusty Krab! ^ Phew, how did that advertisement get in there. Well, might as well follow it. Edited June 22, 2018 by Eugene Krabs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 I love the formula, it’s fresh and the images make it a thousand times even better. Can’t wait for more. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted June 23, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2018 Episode 2: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Welcome again to Squidward Chat, with yours truly doing the talking once more. We have a lot in store today, as we have more news and a very special guest that my new production crew- : Hi! : -managed to get on our show thanks to popular demand by our newfound fanbase! In even better news, we have hired a house band to do music for us! Please welcome, the Bird Br- : Uhhh, Squidward? : Yes? : I couldn't get the Bird Brains on the show. : Why's that? : They can't come down here, they don't have air helmets. : So who's gonna do the music for us? : Well I have my ukelele with me, I can just use that! : SpongeBob, please d- -ukelele playing in the background- : Alright, fine. Anyways, time for some news to educate you, the viewer. Tragedy struck this morning as acclaimed rapper XXXTentacles was pronounced dead after a fatal gunshot wound from a drive-by shooting. In lighter news though, as June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month, Bikini Bottom has hosted its 2nd annual pride parade, with this one being particular important as earlier this month, gay marriage was legalized throughout the Pacific Ocean! That's your news for today in hopes that you're smarter than 5 minutes ago! SpongeBob, could you please cut it out with the ukelele? -ukelele music stops- : Time to introduce our very special guest! They're one of the most famous celebrities to come out of Bikini Bottom, please welc- uhhh... : What is it Squidward? : Are you sure this is the right person? : Yes, it should be. : I hope so. Uh- anyways, please welcome Used Napkin! : WHOOOO!!! : S-so Used Napkin, how has your day been today? : ... : Uhh yeah, it's quite fair outside I agree WELL IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE OUT OF TIME Thank you for tuning into Squidward Chat on this fine day! -end credits start playing- : SpongeBob? : Yes? : What is the meaning of this? : You told me to find the best celebrity I can! : AND THE BEST YOU COULD GIVE ME WAS YOUR STUPID USED NAPKIN!? : Hey, don't be mean to him! Maybe he wasn't a celebrity to you but he sure was in my heart! : Were there no other options!? : Well... there was one other, but I had trouble finding him. : Oh really? Who was this "one other?" : Well, there was one request by a famous land celebrity and a lot of our fans agreed that they wanted to see him on the show. : What's his name? : Uhm, I don't remember. I think his name was Jacky Chan. : Well why couldn't you get him? : He didn't have any air helmets either so I couldn't get him down here in time. : UGH, I should never have let you be part of my "crew." Wait a minute, where's Patrick? He was supposed to be with you too! : He hasn't budged since the last episode. See? : zzz : So what are we gonna do now!? Our next episode needs to be out by next week and we don't have a star! : We might have time to go get him! : Well SpongeBob, we don't have much time, so if we're gonna snatch this Jack Chen person from the land, we have to come up with a plan now! : Sounds like a plan! : Come on SpongeBob, follow me. : Sure thing! 3 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterArcanine Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 I so badly wish the real Jackie Chen (the real person not the user) actuslly saw this site. It would be hilarious 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Chan Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Great work, Mr. Halibut. I hope they can successfully find me! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeOddFan Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 heh that was funny from episode 2 tbh it kind of nice to see Squidward trying to get SB's help for at least Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 Great stuff, great stuff! Made me chuckle quite a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cha Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 my boy jackie better make the cut 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President Squidward Posted June 24, 2018 Share Posted June 24, 2018 this is a fantastic spinoff hal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweat Posted June 28, 2018 Author Share Posted June 28, 2018 Squidward Chat! With your h- ... -end credits start playing- Spoiler Looks like Squidward and SpongeBob are still on their journey to get Jackie Chan! Will they succeed? Who knows! Stay tuned for a new episode of Squidward Chat in about 6 years! 4 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sweat Posted July 7, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted July 7, 2018 Episode 3: Squidward Chat! With your host, Squidward Tentacles! : Hello viewers, I am back from a brief hiatus after, uh, trying to make this episode the very best it can be! Along with me, I also have my loyal servan- I mean, executive producer SpongeBob. You all loved him in previous episodes, and he's still here to provide obnoxious laughs when need be. : I haven't been able to laugh in days, Squidward. : Oh SpongeBob, you card! Anyways, on to the news! As corruption runs amok in the streets in New Kelp City, the Ocean Cup has providing a boost in tourism for them, especially as the tournament finally gotten down to its final 8 teams. Fans await to see the team that makes it to the top. Unfortunately, in much sadder news, famous Land actor Jackie Chan was hospitalized last week due to... uh, unknown injuries. Fans of Chan await for him to make a full recovery as to the crew of Squidward Chat in hopes that he can make it to our show eventually. SpongeBob, could you stop crying? : sniff : Don't mind him, audience, the summer allergies are kicking in for him. Unfortunately, since we expected Jackie Chan to be our special guest today, we don't have one for today. At the least, we did finally get the Bird Brains down to be our backing band. They were... a bit smaller than we expected. : SpongeBob, how come they can move without strings? : I... don't know. : Good afternoon, Encino! : You're in Bikini Bottom, bird-for-brains. : Where? : ... I'm surprised the show has lasted this long. Anyways, we're just about out of time, so here's the Bird Brains to end off the broadcast! -Bird Brains play as end credits roll- : Well, today was a disaster. : Aw Squidward, it's okay! If it makes you feel any better, I know exactly who we can get for next episode! : Really!? Who!? : Well, you see, I was reading your newspaper on the coffee table and I noticed that a certain friend of ours is back and town and bigger than ever! : What do you mean? : Just look at the front page! -shows newspaper to Squid- : Oh... oh no... : Isn't it exciting Squidward!? I'll call him right now! : Y-yeah, you g-go do that SpongeBob, is it hot in here for you too I'm gonna go turn on the AC. 5 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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