Wumbo Ranks Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Charts! (Ahhh, the deed is done.)

[Wumbo]

You know, I was expecting this year to be a lot worse than it was.

 

For all the vitriol Todd gave this year in his worst-of list. I honestly don't think it was that bad! Maybe it's not on par with some of the earlier years of the decade, but I think it has enough good stuff to earn its place in pop music stardom. That said... we do have a lot of bad to get through as well. So why waste time? Let's dive right into...

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 1987

Spoiler

 

We really need to start keeping a monitor on these television songs.

10. "At This Moment" - Billy Vera and the Beaters

 

Look, suffice to say, I'm not what you'd call an expert on 1980s TV. It was before my time. The music may last, but the television certainly didn't, at least not for me. Still, I have a hard time believing that this was a song that was prevalent and loved in one of the most popular shows of the decade. I guess it's not technically horrible, but 1987 had no shortage of ballads. No sir. And eventually, you suffer burnout, and I had to put the ones with the least replay value on this list. Unfortunately, for me, this fits the bill. Honest to God, I think I'd rather listen to the Full House theme.

 

Yeah. Get burned.

Like I said, a lot of ballads to choose from this year. And honestly, I have a hard time understanding why anyone would choose this one. Maybe you like it, but it does nothing for me. Sorry, Michael J. Fox.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Look. I like Bob Seger, all right? You know I do.

 

"Night Moves" is a great song. He's had many great songs over the course of his career. But even he's gotta have a bad one every once in a while.

9. "Shakedown" - Bob Seger

 

I am loath to use the term "sellout". I think it's an inherently ridiculous term to use, honestly. Anything an artist does that makes them money, people can brand the move as a sellout if they don't like it. So I don't use the term very often. But here? Yeah... yeah.

 

You thought Bob Seger using "Like a Rock" in every single Chevy commercial you've heard in your life was the biggest sellout move by him? Well... maybe it was. But at least "Like a Rock" fits Seger's sound. Whose idea was it to have Seger front this dopey, cheesy Beverly Hills Cop II track?

Well, the track was actually supposed to go to Glenn Frey originally, but he came down with laryngitis and passed it on to Bob Seger. And honestly that's a shame, because I could have seen this working with Frey. Let's say he's dabbled in this sort of thing before.

 

Yeah. And he's got the better voice for it. I love Seger's voice normally, but here he just sounds like a wannabe Huey Lewis. This song is not a good use of Seger, and that may be its biggest crime. I certainly feel extorted listening to this.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Okay, I think I just don't get freestyle.

8. "Head to Toe" - Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

 

I don't really know what to say here, guys. 1987 had no shortage of brainless pop, but this easily has to be one of the contenders for the most brainless, or at least most inept. Where is the instrumentation on this song? Is this just the freestyle way? This sounds like garbage.

I don't need to bring up the "HEEEEAD TO TOOOOOE" opening, because you all know that from Todd's video. I assume everyone does, right? But yeah, that is definitely not the best way to open... well, any song, really. Actually, maybe this is a good way to open this song. Because it's a pretty good introduction for the crap you're gonna hear.

This is not musical. It's just Lisa Lisa wailing her way through a set of inane lyrics with this throbbing beat in the background. And occasionally someone falls asleep on the synthesizer and that's about it! Oh, I guess there's also a guitar solo.

http://ytcropper.com/cropped/5158b37f5fbaf51

Okay, I guess the solo's not bad. Just wish we had more instrumentation throughout the song other than Lisa Lisa and the endless percussion. Useless little song, this is.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I don't expect to know every artist that makes it big in years before I was born. Fads change and fads fade. We all know that. I doubt anyone remembers Jeremih anymore, and he had a hit just last year. So I get it. It happens. I'm not expecting to recognize everybody.

But seriously, who the fuck is this?

7. "Shake You Down" - Gregory Abbott

 

I wasn't considering putting this on my worst list originally, but honestly... it is just baffling to me how this guy had the #3 hit song of 1987. Really? This guy? This guy was bigger than Bon Jovi in 1987? Whitney Houston? Michael Jackson? I don't believe it. Someone's screwin' with me, I know it.

This song, and indeed this artist, have absolutely no star power. How he got famous at all is baffling to me. Does anyone who was alive in 1987 even remember this? I guess I'm asking the wrong crowd, but seriously. I need answers for this man. This... this is gonna haunt me, guys.

Well, wherever he came from, Gregory Abbott faded pretty quickly from our pop music consciousness, and rightly so. He's a pretty mediocre singer with not many tricks up his sleeve, and... oh god, I haven't even mentioned the lyrics yet.

Eenie meenie miney mo
Come on girl, let's shock the show

"Eenie meenie miney mo"?

 

*sigh* The similarities to Todd's review were inevitable, I guess. But honestly, at least Bieber and Kingston sort of have a grasp on what "eenie meenie miney mo" is. You're just... saying it, because... you needed something to rhyme with "show"? Dude, I know even you don't know why you got a hit song, but try harder than this.

Roses are red and violets are blue
I'm gonna rock this world for you

God, if this writing was any more hackneyed it'd be "Summer Girls".

 

You know what, scratch my original reasoning. This song isn't on the list because it's by a nobody. This song is on the list because it's by a nobody and it sucks hard. Gregory Abbot, I've about had it! What? It's no worse than his writing.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I listened to a lot of middle-of the road radio as a child. And you'd best believe that because of that, I was listening to this song weekly. You'd think that would help me build up some sort of tolerance to it, but some fifteen-odd years later and I'm more bitter than I've ever been. That's the sign of a shit song, guys.

6. "(I Just) Died In Your Arms" - Cutting Crew

 

I truly, from the bottom of my heart, loathe this song. I hate every rancid, overwrought, overdramatic, simpering second of it. This is 80s lame cheese with none of the fun. Why the fuck would anyone want to listen to this? It's this stupid-ass angsty song that just sucks the joy out of the room.

Somehow, lead singer and writer of this nonsense Nick Van Eade thought of the title to this song while having sex with his girlfriend. If anything like this song comes to mind when you're making love, I would seek professional help.

I'm honestly at a loss here. I just truly hate this song, and I think I've already said enough about it. Now let's go on forgetting it exists.

 

What the shit.

 

 

Spoiler

 

5. "The Next Time I Fall" - Peter Cetera and Amy Grant

 

Yep, Peter Cetera strikes again. And this time he's decided to bring with him a Christian music artist to duet! Well, I can only see this going up.

Look, even in Chicago Cetera's voice got grating on occasion. So you replace the guitar stylings of Terry Kath with easy-listening schlock, you're gonna get garbage. And that's exactly what we have here.

I don't mind ballads. I really don't. While they're usually not my style of music, I think that they can work if in the hands of talented singers at their best. I guess that goes without saying. But it's an important distinction here, because this, even for Peter Cetera, is a wretched vocal performance.

http://ytcropper.com/cropped/WQ58b389c64d2a2

He sounds like Elmo going through puberty. What the fuck is this?

And maybe if we got a good female singer to counteract it, I could have given it a pass. But Amy Grant sounds exactly as bland and safe as you'd expect a contemporary Christian artist to sound. So, that hope goes out the window. And so does any hope of me liking this mess. Peter Cetera just sucks, okay? His solo career is unforgivable garbage, and I have no idea why, in 1987 with our sea of ballads, we let this guy have another hit. Next!

 

 

Spoiler

 

I need more words to just describe flat crap.

4. "C'est La Vie" - Robbie Nevil

 

All right, who the fuck is this George Michael wannabe now? You know, for a decade frequently hyped as producing some of music's biggest stars, it sure did churn out a whole bunch of anonymous turds like this one.

Okay, so Robbie Nevil... I can't begin to imagine what he's trying to do here. It's like if one of the members of New Kids on the Block tried to be Michael Hutchence. And it fails miserably. Robbie Nevil doesn't have the charisma or star power he thinks he does to pull this off. And it's really quite sad to hear him carry on like he thinks he's this big mega-star that everyone idolizes.

Robbie Nevil went on to co-produce a 2006 Smash Mouth album which seems about right, and we never heard from him behind the microphone again. He will be missed. By somebody, I assume. Seriously, we gave more success to this guy than Michael Jackson this year? Sheesh.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

I've had a... complicated history with The Bangles, to say the least. For example, I started out loathing the song you see above you now. This is back when I was a kid and learned that I didn't have to like every song I heard. This is probably one of the first songs I actively hated. Rhyming "Monday" with "Sunday" with "fun day". What a bunch of hacks!

But... what can I tell ya? Time went by, and the song grew on me. Like a wart, maybe, but something about the catchy production and sheer happy-sounding vibe it gave off made me appreciate the song. God dammit Prince, you got me again.

Now conversely, I used to like this song. Not love, but y'know, like. But as I complied this list, i realized one very important thing: I actually fucking loathe this song.

3. "Walk Like an Egyptian" - The Bangles

 

Maybe I'm fickle. Or maybe as I grow older, I find it harder and harder to tolerate stupidity for stupidity's sake in pop music. I mean, your song can be stupid. Look at "Manic Monday", possibly one of the stupidest songs ever recorded. But for god's sake, have a purpose other than just being stupid!

I used to like this song because I thought it was catchy, but... honestly, as far as pop songs go, it's really... not. Sure, the beat might stick in your head, but the melody's just kind of a boring drone. And... well, let's get into these lyrics.

Look, at best, these lyrics are unforgivably stupid. And at worst. honestly, yes, they are offensive. As someone who's listened to many a song back in the 60's with questionably racist tones, I would place this song right along with those. Seriously, "foreign types with their hookah pipes"? That's garbage, and The Bangles should know it's garbage. If only they had Prince for this one.

And maybe if the beat was fun or something... well, it still wouldn't be great, but at least I could see its reason to exist. As is, though? This is a useless, depressing song with awful lyrics and inexplicable popularity. And as someone who used to like it in the past, now I can't wash my hands of it soon enough. Next!

 

 

Spoiler

 

The 80s overall were probably not as well known for their teen stars as other decades, at least not in music. We didn't start getting teeny-boppers until around this time, and one of the first of the decade was The Jets.

 

They had a hit in 1986 with "Crush on You", and while that wasn't God's gift to music or anything, I could see the appeal. It was fun enough to appeal to a crowd. What I don't understand is the success of this.

2. "You Got It All" - The Jets

 

I guess, on a fundamental level, I get why this song at least exists. Everyone needs a ballad, it's 1987. But of all of the ballads of this year, I'd put this one as the worst. It sounds so sad and morose for literally. No. Reason. Why does it sound like this? This is a love song, isn't it?

I know The Jets can hit those high notes... well, maybe not hit, but they're at least aware they exist. Where is that in this song? It's a song about love and finding a great new guy, and it just sounds... sad. I guess Olivia Newton-John's influence carried on into the late 80's. Joy.

What's the point of this song? Even the song itself decides to just... end without sounding finished. And maybe that's for the best, because anytime this song wants to end is fine by me. What a waste of airplay and waste of my time. This is why no one likes teenagers, dammit!

 

 

Spoiler

 

Remember in 1995's worst list, when at the top of my list, I put an absolutely wretched cover of "Total Eclipse of the Heart"?

 

Yeah, we all remember that. Good times, right? Well... maybe that song had a reason to exist after all. Perhaps what Nicki French was trying to do was enact revenge on the 80s in the exact same way the 80s butchered a classic from the 70s. And if that awful, awful cover was made in response to this one... well then, maybe I can give it a pass. Because I've covered some bad covers here, folks. But few have missed the spirit of the original as much as this one. Brace yourselves.

1. "Lean on Me" - Club Nouveau

 

I should preface this by saying I love new jack swing. I think we could have used a lot more of it compared to some of the other stuff we got in the late 80's and early 90's. A couple more "Motownphilly"s woulda hurt no one, make no mistake. But this genre has its limits. And if you're going to cover one of the greatest soul songs ever written, you'd better do it right. This is one of the most misguided, haphazard, and just plain wrong covers I've ever heard. If these people didn't sound so old, i would swear that Kidz Bop was covering this. This sounds over-manufactured and phony, something the original song absolutely did not sound like.

And that's why it tops this list. Maybe it's not overall the worst-sounding song on here (though, honestly, in some parts, it kinda is), but it takes a classic, one of my all-time faves, and stomps all over it for no good reason other than to cash in on new trends and old nostalgia. This song is a slap in the face to the original and everyone involved should be ashamed at this money grub they created. Fuck this cover. Bill Withers is the man. That's all.

 

[Joe Biden]

Pretty good list, but I still like #3 as a guilty pleasure.

 

And I'm not surprised at your #1 song, to be honest. Heard that song before on Spotify's Throwback Thursday playlist when the theme was '87 and '88 and I thought it was completely awful.

[Katniss]

Kenny G is relieved that he was spared the wrath of your bottom 10  

and I still like #3 as well I'm sorry

Edited February 27, 2017 by Gwen Stefani

[4EverGreen]

I personally think that "Shakedown, Walk Like an Egyptian," and "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" are good songs. By the way, did you KNOW that "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" was originally a Shakespearian expression that was used for someone IMMENSELY in love? Just thought that I would share that with you. Can't wait to see your BEST list!

[Steel Sponge]

Add me to the list of people who honestly liked #3 and #6, but as always, I'm enjoying your lists.

[fortnitefan12]

Great list, though I have to say that I honestly like #6, but I guess everyone has their opinions.

[Clappy]

Not going to lie.  Before I decided on doing 2011 back over the summer, I was contemplating jumping on 1987 but ended up not doing so due to having a hard time coming up with anything to say for a potential worst list on each song.  Out of the ones you have on your worst list, I had Shake You Down, I Died In Your Arms Tonight, Lean On Me, and Next Time I Fall on mine.  So glad to see all those on your worst list.  Just an all around joy to read as always and I can't wait to read your best list.

[Wumbo]

1987 was certainly a big year for music. I'd argue that it was probably one of the best hitmaking years of the decade, in that it's had a lot of songs with a long-lasting legacy. Oh, wait, 1983 and 1984 exist. Never mind!

You know, as much as we rag on the late 80s for not living up to what the early half of the decade promised, I still think we can appreciate what it gave to us, and I'd argue there's a lot. Maybe it's a little sillier. Maybe it's a tad more disposable. But it's still pop music, damn it, and in every year there's good and bad. And I'd argue there was a lot of good this year. How much? At least enough to fill a top 10 list! So let's get that underway! It's...

Wumbo's Top 10 Hits of 1987

Spoiler

 

Enjoy this one while it lasts, people!

10. "Sign o' the Times" - Prince

 

Y'know, Prince is lucky he's such a damn good artist, because it is damn frustrating to find videos to show you guys to show you just how great his songs are. But, well, even in death Prince proves to be stubborn. At least his stuff's on Spotify.

But I always go off on this tangent when talking about Prince, so let's talk about his music, damn it. This is the first single Prince released after his departure from The Revolution, and while it's still definitely Prince, it's also noticeably tonally different. Still funky, but a bit more somber as well. You wouldn't think that would work, but Prince makes it work with his irresistible charm and his awareness of social issues. Like, it's not sad just to be ballad-y. It actively fights that by using a crushing funk beat to deliver truths about some of the hottest topics in the late 80's.

Prince has been a near-flawless artist throughout his career, and this is yet another example. It shows his range as an artist and a writer. It really is a sign o' the times that he's gone now and the world really is a lot more depressing. I guess as long as we have his music, we'll be alright. That is, if I can find it on YouTube- oh darn, I just did it again, didn't I. Crap.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I told you it was possible for me to like soft rock!

9. "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" - Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

 

Look, honestly, I believe it's possible for any kind of music to be good. You just have to have talented people behind it. And who better suited to tackle a song like this than one-half of the Righteous Brothers?

Bill Medley, as always, is a delight to have on the track. His voice is so powerful and soulful as it always is, and it's the perfect counterpoint to Jennifer Warnes' performance, which is also excellent. I've never even seen Dirty Dancing, but I feel like I've seen the whole movie based off of this one song. And that's perfectly fine by me.

What more is there to say? It's just a wonderful performance all around. Definitely worthy of my Top 10.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I was waiting to talk about these guys. I just had to find the right song to do it. Brother, I sure did.

8. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2

 

In your life, you're definitely going to find people who think we give U2 too much acclaim and praise. I'm here to tell you that I am emphatically not one of those people. Despite this being the first time I've put them on a Top 10 list, I do greatly adore this band. I think they're one of the perfect examples of what music is and what it can do. Just listen to this song. It's fucking beautiful.

My most vivid memory of this song, actually, hearkens back to high school. I went to a Catholic school, and we took religion classes every year. One year, we were asked to pick a song to fit our spiritual journey. and I picked this one. Because it was perfect. While U2 definitely exhibit religious themes in their music, they do it in a way that's not only not preachy, but readily acceptable by the wide masses, including those that may not be quite as religious as others, such as myself. (Hey, Catholic school don't have to mean you stay Catholic.) This song describes frustration and desperation to find meaning in life. It's a cry for help and a cry of hope at the same time. I really love this one, and it means a lot to me. Hard to believe that 7 songs topped this one this year, but that's just how good the good stuff was. No lie. Rock on, U2. Rock on forever.

 

 

Spoiler

 

So... Michael Jackson was kinda fucked up.

 

You don't even need to believe any of the allegations made against him to know that. You just have to listen to the man's music! Michael Jackson's album Thriller was filled with creepy songs that were more than sufficient to have Michael earn the name "Wacko Jacko". And then in 1987, he released Bad. Now, one can argue the merits of each album and decide for themselves which is better, but there's no denying that Bad was clearly made to be a bit more accessible to the MTV generation. Not that, y'know, the KING OF POP desperately needed to be accessible to the mainstream or anything, but regardless it proved to be a great career move, spawning five #1 singles and cementing Michael Jackson as one of the biggest music stars ever.

So naturally, one of these songs had to make the list. And you probably know which one it is. Who's bad?

7. "Bad" - Michael Jackson

 

Yeah, who would have thought a song that starts with the lyric "your butt is mine" would not only be so successful, but also be so fucking great? Basically, this is to Michael Jackson what "Hangin' Tough" was to NKOTB. But rather than embarrass himself, Michael Jackson proves to have more swagger than ever on this song.

Michael Jackson backs up his assertions that he's bad with his performance. He's so forceful and powerful on this song as he just screams every instance of "bad" in this song that you can't help but agree with him. This performance is spectacular, and this beat is tight. You honestly don't need me to tell you that Michael Jackson is great. You know that already. Michael Jackson: He's bad. But he's also so good.

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

I just... have I been unfair to Whitney Houston over my years of doing this?

I've never put her on a best list, and I've put her on a worst list. That doesn't seem right. She's one of the most acclaimed singers in pop music history. What am I doing wrong?

*sigh* What can I say? I guess I've just never been a fan.

It's not that a lot of her songs are bad, but often I find the arrangements so boring and lifeless that I don't feel her voice is enough to save them. And she does have a beautiful voice, she does. I guess I just wish it was used for something a little more... lively.

Folks, today is the day.

6. "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" - Whitney Houston

 

Now this is what I'm talkin' about! Just a fun tune that I can jam along to, with the beautiful vocals of Whitney Houston fronting the track. This is exactly the type of song I want from her.

I'm aware that many people remember Whitney most lovingly for her ballads, but honestly, I've found this to be a much better suited type of Whitney song for me. Just because you have a beautiful voice, that doesn't need to be the only thing about your music. This song is just pure fun. It's kind of what I hoped freestyle music could be. But at least we have this wonderful, wonderful song. God, I love it. And I wanna dance with somebody. Especially to this song!

 

 

Spoiler

 

It's gettin' hot in here.

5. "I Want Your Sex" - George Michael

 

Honestly, I can't say I was ever the hugest fan of George Michael, but he has his moments. This is most certainly one of them, rivalling Prince for the artist that just oozed the most sex appeal in the 80s. I mean, just listen to this. This is honestly probably the sexiest song of 1987.

What's interesting is George's take on the whole sex thing. He actually doesn't advocate for sleeping around. It's right in the lyrics there. Sex is best when it's one on one. No threesomes for this man! He even has an "explore monogamy" thing going on in the video. This is a man who likes his sex with morals. Or at least rules.

But I don't think anyone can be blamed for getting their freak on with anyone they want when this song comes on. It's just that good. And sexy. George Michael definitely had a tone he was able to hit, and he hits all of the bars here. Awesome song.

 

 

Spoiler

 

4. "Land of Confusion" - Genesis

 

Man, Genesis must have really wanted to one-up former member Peter Gabriel in the video-making department. I think they confused "creepy" with "creative" but... fuck it, I can't front. I love this video. But this isn't the Top 10 Music videos of 1987. And god damn, good thing this has a bomb ass song to go along with it.

This song crushes. It's probably one of Genesis's best in terms of balance; they're able to get their pop appeal while still sounding a little out there. I mean, listen to this song. Doesn't really quite fit in with anything else on this list thus far, does it? But all the same, isn't it wonderful?

As far as hits go, this is probably my favourite by this band. Every moment just pumps me up and gets me going. That rhythm, man. Feel it. And Phil Collins' performance is great as usual. Just a fantastic song all around. But what else do you expect from the boys of Genesis. Just... don't watch this video right before bed, okay?

 

 

Spoiler

 

Copyright claim strikes again. Enjoy? Yeah, enjoy. Definitely.

3. "U Got the Look" - Prince

http://www.mojvideo.com/video-prince-ft-sheena-easton-u-got-the-look/0095e502deb08bfa0323

I couldn't do it. Leaving either Prince song off the list this year would just feel wrong to me. It would be wrong to dismiss just how great and provocative and talented and interesting an artist he is. As far as I'm concerned, Prince was the 80s. He represented the best in the pop universe and he's delightful to hear every time I get to cover him. Also, sorry George Michael. I guess Prince still wins the sexiest song of 1987. And... hark! Are those background vocals sounding familiar?

Yeah! Believe it or not, Prince took the artist responsible for that piece of shit song and turned her into possibly the greatest background vocalist this year. Are you kidding me? There's nothing this man can't do. Except suck. He can't suck. Everything he touches turns to diamonds and pearls. But I guess that's another song for another time. Prince got the ear for music. What can I say? Another great one from a fabulous artist.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Don't lie to me. You love this one too.

2. "Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi

 

I think it's kind of impossible not to love this song at least a little. Even diehard hair metal haters gotta have a little space in their heart for "Livin' on a Prayer". It's just... it's just so good. And forceful. Every note punches. Everything pumps me up. Every choice made pushes the song further and further into awesome.

I think this is one of the first songs I memorized all the lyrics to. Which isn't really hard, as it's a simple concept. Two hardworking people in love, livin' on a prayer, as per the title. It's romantic and it's inspirational. But more importantly, it kicks ass.

I don't think any song kicked ass more than this one this year. This is definitely one of the most fun songs of the year. It's probably one of my go-to karaoke songs. That is, if I ever went to karaoke. I should try it sometime. OOHHHHHHH... LIVIN' ON A PRAYER...

God damn, do I love this song. And if you love it too, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This song is pure awesome, and that's that. No question. "Livin' on a Prayer" fans, unite!

 

 

Spoiler

 

Music, to me, is moody. Not that it needs to be broody and emo or whatever, but it needs to evoke a mood. A feeling. I have no patience for mediocre mellow music, I won't stand for it. That explains a good number of my Bottom 10s, most of which are just filled with stuff I find flat boring. So when a song this year takes the criteria of mood and takes it all the way to the top, I in turn must take it all the way to the top. And while all the songs on this list are excellent, only one dared to fill that criteria to the highest degree. And here it is, people.

1. "With or Without You" - U2

 

I usually don't put such a lowkey song on the top of my list. Sometimes they make it into the top 10, but very rarely does a song like this actually top my list. To do that, you have to be the best. and I do believe that "With or Without You" is the best.

The reason this works so well, at least for me, is that the majority of the song is buildup. Buildup to when Bono lets loose with his vocals and wails his lungs out on the track. That, to me, is music. These boys from Dublin, as always, knew what they were doing.

Honestly, this is probably one of the best examples of buildup in a song I can think of. It gets louder and harsher until the climactic moment, and it is beautiful all the way through. It is a marvel of 80s music, as is the whole Joshua Tree album. Just an absolutely perfect, flawless song that gives me chills every time. If you need an example of why U2 rank near the top of my favourite artists, look no further than "Still Haven't Found" and this song. For me, U2 ruled 1987. And I can't be convinced otherwise.

 

Full List:

Spoiler

 

1. "With or Without You" - U2

2. "Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi

3. "U Got the Look" - Prince

4. "Land of Confusion" - Genesis

5. "I Want Your Sex" - George Michael

6. "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" - Whitney Houston

7. "Bad" - Michael Jackson

8. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2

9. "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" - Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

10. "Sign o' the Times" - Prince

11. "Control" - Janet Jackson

12. "Little Lies" - Fleetwood Mac

13. "Mony Mony" - Billy Idol

14. "Open Your Heart" - Madonna

15. "Didn't We Almost Have It All" - Whitney Houston

16. "Alone" - Heart

17. "Wanted Dead or Alive" - Bon Jovi

18. "Big Time" - Peter Gabriel

19. "I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" - Aretha Franklin and George Michael

20. "Change of Heart" - Cyndi Lauper

21. "Jacob's Ladder" - Huey Lewis and the News

22. "To Be a Lover" - Billy Idol

23. "Don't Dream It's Over" - Crowded House

24. "Luka" - Suzanne Vega

25. "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" - Starship

26. "Don't Get Me Wrong" - The Pretenders

27. "Diamonds" - Herb Alpert

28. "Doing It All for My Baby" - Huey Lewis and the News

29. "The Way It Is" - Bruce Hornsby and the Range

30. "Hip to Be Square" - Huey Lewis and the News

31. "I Heard a Rumour" - Bananarama

32. "Stand By Me" - Ben E. King

33. "In Too Deep"  - Genesis

34. "Right on Track" - Breakfast Club

35. "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" - Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine

36. "Big Love" - Fleetwood Mac

37. "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" - Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett

38. "Here I Go Again" - Whitesnake

39. "Is This Love" - Survivor

40. "Who Will You Run To" - Heart

41. "Heat of the Night" - Bryan Adams

42. "Point of No Return" - Exposé

43. "Victory" - Kool & the Gang

44. "Something So Strong" - Crowded House

45. "Brilliant Disguise" - Bruce Springsteen

46. "Let's Wait Awhile" - Janet Jackson

47. "Touch Me (I Want Your Body)" - Samantha Fox

48. "Who's That Girl" - Madonna

49. "Respect Yourself" - Bruce Willis

50. "Just to See Her" - Smokey Robinson

51. "Don't Mean Nothing" - Richard Marx

52. "Rock Steady" - The Whispers

53. "Midnight Blue" - Lou Gramm

54. "Mandolin Rain" - Bruce Hornsby and the Range

55. "Love You Down" - Ready for the World

56. "Causing a Commotion" - Madonna

57. "Funkytown" - Pseudo Echo

58. "The Finer Things" - Steve Winwood

59. "Breakout" - Swing Out Sister

60. "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)" - Beastie Boys

61. "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" - Genesis

62. "Someday" - Glass Tiger

63. "La Bamba" - Los Lobos

64. "Ballerina Girl" - Lionel Richie

65. "Cross My Broken Heart" - The Jets

66. "I've Been in Love Before" - Cutting Crew

67. "Meet Me Half Way" - Kenny Loggins

68. "Come Go with Me" - Exposé

69. "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You" - Glenn Medeiros

70. "When Smokey Sings" - ABC

71. "I Think We're Alone Now" - Tiffany

72. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" - Georgia Satellites

73. "La Isla Bonita" - Madonna

74. "Can't We Try" - Dan Hill ft. Vonda Shepard

75. "Don't Disturb This Groove" - The System

76. "Songbird" - Kenny G

77. "You Keep Me Hangin' On" - Kim Wilde

78. "Heart and Soul" - T'Pau

79. "Carrie" - Europe

80. "Let Me Be the One" - Exposé

81. "Casanova" - LeVert

82. "Somewhere Out There" - Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram

83. "Will You Still Love Me?" - Chicago

84. "Looking for a New Love" - Jody Whatley

85. "Only in My Dreams" - Debbie Gibson

86. "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" - Wang Chung

87. "The Lady in Red" - Chris de Burgh

88. "Notorious" - Duran Duran

89. "Lost in Emotion" - Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

90. "Always" - Atlantic Starr

91. "At This Moment" - Billy Vera and the Beaters

92. "Shakedown" - Bob Seger

93. "Head to Toe" - Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

94. "Shake You Down" - Gregory Abbott

95. "(I Just) Died In Your Arms" - Cutting Crew

96. "The Next Time I Fall" - Peter Cetera and Amy Grant

97. "C'est La Vie" - Robbie Nevil

98. "Walk Like An Egyptian" - The Bangles

99. "You Got It All" - The Jets

100. "Lean on Me" - Club Nouveau

 

[Joe Biden]

Oh, thank god "Land of Confusion" wasn't absent on this list. The things I would do to you if it wasn't....

 

For real though, nice list. "Mony Mony" would've probably topped the year for me, to be honest.

 

Speaking of:

Mony Mony

I Think We're Alone Now

Wanted Dead or Alive

Don't Dream It's Over

(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right

Don't Get Me Wrong

Hip to Be Square

Tonight Tonight Tonight

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You

and DEFINITELY Songbird

[Steel Sponge]

Thoughts on these?:

Everybody Have Fun Tonight

Notorious

You Keep Me Hangin' On

Funkytown

Don't Disturb This Groove

Here I Go Again

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

Who Will You Run To

Respect Yourself

Brilliant Disguise

La Bamba

I Heard a Rumour

[Wumbo]

"Mony Mony": Certainly a fun song. There's just something about Billy Idol that prevents me from putting him on a Top 10 list of mine. Maybe it's because he's in a weird place between punk and pop and doesn't seem to be too comfortable in either, so his songs are always just a tad awkward to me. Except "Dancing with Myself", that shit is awesome.

"I Think We're Alone Now": 1987 had an abundance of teen-pop and truth be told I didn't really like any of it. Like, this song really isn't that bad, I guess, but oh god, does the cutesy sugary nature of this song get to me.

"Wanted Dead or Alive": If "Livin' on a Prayer" was a bit more corny, it would be "Wanted Dead or Alive". Still a song with great moments, but can be a bit too silly.

"Don't Dream It's Over": Crowded House certainly have a flavour to their music. Maybe it's just that New Zealand style. It's a bit too mellow for me to justify putting it any higher than I did, though.

"(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)": *sigh* I guess I don't hate this song. But it's seriously so fucking lame for the Beastie Boys. They were never an imperfect group, but this is easily the most shallow thing they've ever recorded. And this is from the same band who made a song called "Cookie Puss".

"Don't Get Me Wrong": I really wanted to put this nice little love song higher. But at the end of the day, that's all it was: a nice little love song.

"Hip to Be Square": Most of Huey Lewis's songs are just decent to me without ever really crossing that threshold into something I'd want to hear over and over. This is one of those songs.

"Tonight Tonight Tonight": It's like if "Land of Confusion" was on downers, and oh god does that make it sound so much worse.

"Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You": Boring ballad by a guy who sounds much older than he was. Adele he ain't.

"Songbird": I just... every time I think of this song now, I just think of my favourite Todd moment of all time. So honestly, it's Todd's fault that his #1 doesn't even make my list. Damn you, Todd! The song still sucks though, no question.

"Everybody Have Fun Tonight": Okay, see, this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say my tolerance for stupidity for stupidity's sake has run out. You're gonna release this song when bands like U2 are releasing actual thoughtful music? Fuck outta here.

"Notorious": Bruh I love Duran Duran but this is easily the most annoying thing they've ever recorded. Dangerously close to my Bottom 10.

"You Keep Me Hangin' On": And the 80's sucks the life out of another classic song. At least this one sorta keeps the spirit.

"Funkytown": Conversely, I honestly don't think this cover is that bad. Sure, it's stupid to make a song called "Funkytown" some cheesy hair metal thing, but... I dunno, it's still fun? Sorta? Still kinda blows, but maybe not as hard as certain other covers this year.

"Don't Disturb This Groove": I barely remember this one. All I remember from this one is the guy dancing in the video, honestly. Bruh, that's how I dance.

"Here I Go Again": I had a tough time choosing between this and "Livin' on a Prayer" at the start, but as the list went on the choice became a lot clearer. This song just doesn't pump me up as much as "Livin' on a Prayer" does. Can't really put my finger on why. I guess "Livin' on a Prayer" is just better structured. This song still has its moments, but not enough for it to go any higher.

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You": Michael Jackson could basically do no wrong in the 80s. Even sappy love ballads sounded better with him behind the wheel.

"Who Will You Run To": This is around the time when Heart started becoming content with mediocrity. They still had great moments with songs like "Alone", but there's really not much to say about this one. Bring back the 70's!

"Respect Yourself": I think the novelty of Bruce Willis having a hit single made this one go as high as it did. If it was Gerald Q. Nobody singing this, it would honestly probably make my Bottom 10.

"Brilliant Disguise": Is it fair to say that many a time, I've respected Bruce Springsteen's music more than I've liked it?

"La Bamba": I dunno, it's fun, but it screams novelty to me. I think I heard this on Dora the Explorer once? At least it's not the Macarena.

"I Heard a Rumour": For whatever reason, I find Bananarama to be a step above most of the bubbly pop we got this year. I think there really is some talent underneath all that sugar, and I can't say the same about many artists this year.

[Katniss]

Your best list is righteous, brother.

...okay I'll stop.  

Thoughts on: 

Little Lies

Didn't We Almost Have It All

Alone

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Carrie

[Wumbo]

"Little Lies":  Fleetwood Mac actually thrived in the 80s, I think. Sure, their sound was different, but it was still good.

"Didn't We Almost Have It All": One of the better Whitney ballads.

"Alone": Honestly, if Heart's later period was more like this, I wouldn't have minded so much.

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now": Okay, unpopular opinion time: Starship were nowhere near as bad as people say. They had quite a few songs I like, actually. Are they top 10 material? no. But they do ballads better than a lot of artists of this time period.

"Carrie": Yeah, speaking of which. God damn, this sucks.

[4EverGreen]

I agree with 73 songs on your top 100 list! Speaking of, would you please share your thoughts on "Lost In Emotion, Looking For A New Love, Only In My Dreams, Will You Still Love Me, Somewhere Out There, When Smokey Sings, Breakout, The Finer Things, Causing a Commotion, Heart and Soul," and "It Don't Mean Nothing" when you have an opportunity?

[Wumbo]

"Lost in Emotion": Y'know, it's usually like me to put the more boring song on my bottom 10, but this year "Head to Toe" was clearly worse. This is still lame though.

"Looking for a New Love": I just don't get freestyle. Is it avant-garde? Am I missing something? Help me.

"Only in My Dreams": More cutesy, sugary teenybopper crap that I had no patience for this year.

"Will You Still Love Me": Peter Cetera is clearly the bigger villain, but that doesn't mean 80s Chicago still can't suck without him.

"Somewhere Out There": Forgettable ballad that I've forgotten.

"When Smokey Sings": ...eh? I really don't have more to say than "eh".

"Breakout": I think I'd like the swing influences more if they fit the song better. As is, kind of a mess.

"The Finer Things": No idea why Steve Winwood had so many hits. His music has never been better then "meh" for me.

"Causing a Commotion": Madonna had a lot of hits this year, but honestly kind of struck me as a non-presence. Save for "Open Your Heart", none of her songs really did much for me. 

"Heart and Soul": This just sounds like crap to me. No real other way to put it.

"Don't Mean Nothing": This song kind of has the same problems as "C'est La Vie", but to a much lesser degree. Richard Marx doesn't have nearly as much swagger as the song suggests he does. Guitar work saves it from being lower.

And with all that said and done, it's March! So my next year on the docket will be...

2008

The more recent years are coming back with a vengeance. How low, low, low, low, low will this year go? Well, we'll find out by the end of the month!

Also also, this slipped by me, but as of November's 1975 list, we have officially passed the halfway point of this project! Thank you to all of those who stuck by me thus far, and hopefully I'm doing a good enough job that you'll continue to do so until the end!

[Katniss]

Congrats on reaching the halfway point my man! Following this project has been so much fun and I'll be there till the end for sure.

[Joe Biden]

Congrats on reaching the mid-point! Reading your lists are always fun!

 

As for 2008, I never really focused much on music than I did with Cartoon Network and commercials.  

 

EDIT: Holy fuck, I forgot about Buckcherry and Saving Abel in 2008 XD

[President Squidward]

ooh, 2008, can't wait to see what you have to say for it  

Edited March 31, 2017 by President Squidward

[Wumbo]

*sigh* If I had to pick an era of music that was the darkest for me personally, the late 2000s would probably be that era.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DsyZdeFjug

Ughhh. So. Much. Stupid. Club. Shit. But besides that, the rock was dour, the R&B was lame, and the pop was vapid as hell. It's a miracle I made it through these years of music without taking a taser to my ears, but I guess it wasn't all bad. It was mostly bad, but not all bad. We'll get to the not-bad stuff later, but right now, I know what you're here for. It's...

Wumbo's Bottom 10 Hits of 2008

Spoiler

 

I'll be honest: This one's just on here as a placeholder for all the shitty R&B and rap this year had to offer. It's not notable in any way, but neither were like, half the songs, and because this one just happened to have two artists I more or less despise, it makes the list.

10. "Hypnotized" - Plies ft. Akon

 

I really don't have anything to say here. This is basically what half the songs this year sounded like to me. Just this endless drone of uninteresting, unsexy sex songs, presented by probably two of the unsexiest voices in the business, especially Plies. Say what you will about Fat Joe or Ja Rule, at least they're a hair distinctive. How am I supposed to distinguish this guy from anyone? He's so... bland.

I don't have any more to say. This, like I said, is just a representative of all the stupid songs I heard this year. Fuck this song and every song like it. God.

 

Spoiler

 

Meanwhile, I'm just wishing this song wasn't so... "distinctive".

9. "When I Grow Up" - Pussycat Dolls

 

Yeah, there's no mistaking this song for anything else! It's certainly a song that's survived through the ages. Eheh... heh... ugh.

Man, for every good girl group like TLC and... yes, to some extent, Destiny's Child, there are like, five like this. I won't act like Pussycat Dolls are the worst thing to ever happen to music, not when their much worse knockoff group exists today, but... holy shit, listen to this song.

Before this song, the Pussycat Dolls could at least pull off some form of sexiness or like... being sexual. This one? The video is now conveying everything the song can't. And even then, whoof, some of these dance moves. Jesus, did Richard Simmons choreograph them? Ah, who am I kidding, it's Nicole Scherzinger. She could be doing the Chicken Dance and look sexy doing it. Where was I? Oh, yeah.

Look, this was the warning sign to everyone that the Pussycat Dolls were officially on their way out, and as such we only gave them one more minor hit in 2009 and then they all but dropped off the face of the earth. And with this being in their discography... perhaps it was for the best. Did I say "perhaps"? I meant "definitely". Moving on!

 

 

Spoiler

 

And now, the poor man's Pussycat Dolls of 2008!

8. "Damaged" - Danity Kane

 

See, this is what happens when you send out your automated pop groups without making sure they've been tested first. They end up needing to be recalled for deficiency. I mean, it's right in the song, guys. Damaged! This pop group is damaged!

I didn't even hear this song in 2008, but it came up once on this episode of Pop Up Video, and in addition to learning more about Danity Kane than I ever cared to make space in my brain for, this song also entered my perpetual fever dreams, right along "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus. This song just feels bleak to me, like apocalyptic. Kind of like if the Stepford Wives met Britney Spears.

I usually try to do the barest-bones Wikipedia research on the bands I cover in this list, but... you'll forgive me if I sit out this one. Holy Christ, War and Peace probably took less time to write. Where's the "written by a fan" notice on this Wikipedia page? All you need to know is that they were on that crappy Making the Band show which produced acts like O-Town. That's all. Nothing more. Christ, my eardrums are gonna be damaged before this list is through.

 

 

Spoiler

 

7. "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

 

I just want to remind you all that this song won a Grammy. And yes, it deserves to be on both the 2007 list and this one. I have nothing new to say about it or its reprehensible artist. How we didn't figure out that Soulja Boy Tell 'Em was a big fat mistake sooner, I'll never know. I think the really surprising thing is that I found six songs this year worse than this one. Yeah. Be afraid.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Meanwhile, now I'm looking at my 2007 list wondering how the hell this didn't make the cut.

6. "Kiss Kiss" - Chris Brown ft. T-Pain

 

This is... this is fucking rancid. How did this place on my 2007 list? #44? How?!

Well, this song appeared near the end of the 2007 list, and I'll be honest: usually by then I'm pretty burnt out so those songs usually end up somewhere near the middle. You either have to be really good or really bad to reach the Top or Bottom 10. So in the context of 2007, "Kiss Kiss" just felt like another song. This year, though? Good lord, just listen to it.

I have mostly neutral opinions about T-Pain, but he has pretty thoroughly succumbed to overexposure in 2008. So many songs have him, and it just sounds like a drone after awhile. Pair him up with Chris Brown and you basically have nothing good to say about this song. And Chris Brown is, as usual, the worst part of the song. Especially that part near the end of each chorus. Who thought that sounded good? Was this just a showcase for T-Pain to look better by comparison? Mission fuckin' accomplished there.

Look, I don't even know what to say. I'm just sorry I missed out on this the first time. Kiss kiss goodbye.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Okay, that's it. You're on the shitlist, John Mayer.

5. "Say" - John Mayer

 

You'd never catch me saying I'm a John Mayer fan. I think I've maybe liked... half a song by him. At the same time, though, he feels like such an inoffensive non-presence to me that it's really hard to work up enough vitriol for him to put him on a worst list. That said... there's a difference between being passively mediocre and aggressively mediocre. And this crosses that line, for sure.

"Say what you need to say"? This song doesn't even say anything! Why are you goading someone else to? This song is about nothing. Okay, it's about something, but it's really about nothing. This is exactly that dentist's office music I've talked about before; just barely above the threshold of white noise to qualify as music, but inoffensive enough that you can listen to it and forget about it the next day.

Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

So... this song is supposed to be about expressing your feelings, and in this song, you have a lyric basically amounting to "shut up and stop whining". Good lord, you can't even get your bland sentiments right! Fuck you, John Mayer. This was a long time comin'. Next!

 

 

Spoiler

 

http://ytcropper.com/cropped/O858de80207cb1f

*head twitches*

4. "A Milli" - Lil Wayne

 

We just... let anything get popular in 2008, didn't we? This must have been the song that got Lil Wayne to think he can do whatever he wants and we'll still buy it. Because it was huge! It won a Grammy, it was praised by music magazines, and I guess most of all, that fucking endless beat will never. Leave. Your head.

I'd like to analyze the lyrics to this song, but I cannot for the life of me get past this beat. It just engulfs everything. Actually, you know what this is?

 

It's a beta version of "6 Foot 7 Foot". See, "6 Foot 7 Foot" was annoying too, but it was actually to its benefit. The beat ended up taking a backseat to Lil Wayne's forceful delivery and you're able to focus on just what this man can do when he applies himself. "A Milli" just falls flat, and I place the blame squarely on that beat. It ruins everything. And yes, it deserves to be this low because of that. It's ear poison. And a milli good rhymes couldn't save it.

 

 

Spoiler

 

This song is trash.

3. "I Kissed a Girl" - Katy Perry

 

I suppose it shouldn't come to any surprise that this song is trash. It's Katy Perry, after all. It's kind of her thing. But at least most of her stuff is enjoyably trashy to some extent. This is just absolutely rotten all the way through. The attitudes towards LGBT are rotten, the lyrics are rotten, the production is rotten, and oh god, this might be the worst Katy Perry has ever sounded. Somebody forgot to lather her voice in voice correction software for this one.

But honestly, my main problem with this song is the sticking point of fetishizing lesbianism to a very uncomfortable degree. Like, there's no bones about it. This song is LGBT-friendly the same way lesbian porn is. Only in the most voyeuristic, exploitative way possible. This whole song makes my skin crawl, as someone with many LGBT female friends who I know wouldn't appreciate the characterization of being Katy Perry's "experimental game". Holy fucking shit, I can't be the only one who finds that line wildly offensive, can I? Like, that just puts the subtext right in the text. "Experimental game". Jesus Christ.

I still hear this song occasionally on the radio, and every time I just think "why"? This is clearly the worst of Katy Perry's first endeavors as a hit artist. It doesn't even sound good. Why do radio stations still play it? Does anyone actually want to listen to this ten-odd years later? It's fucking nauseating. People, please send this back to the year it came from and let's actually be progressive with how we think about sexual minorities. Thank you.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Look, songs about trying to convince someone in a relationship to leave them for you are nothing new. They're sleazy, yes. But sometimes they work. You just have to have the right conviction in order to make them work. If you're convincing enough as some sex god, then the song might work out in your favour.

On the other hand, if you're a Disney Channel heartthrob, then no. Erase your song and start over.

2. "Leavin'" - Jesse McCartney

 

This would be cute if it weren't so sleazy. You know what, say what you will about Nick Jonas's solo career, at least he can actually sing. This fucking whispery, sugary-sweet tone that Jesse chose to take on is nauseating. This is one of the worst transition-to-adulting-by-singing-about-sex moments I've ever seen. It also retroactively ruins all of Jesse McCartney's songs before this, not that those were really any good either, but they had a certain level of cute charm to 'em.

 

Yeah, he doesn't want your beautiful soul anymore. He wants your sexy body. Did anyone really want this from Jesse McCartney? I realize I'm not the target demographic for him, but... seriously, he's not even that attractive. He looks like if Frankie Muniz got botched plastic surgery.

Well, we gave this muppet one more hit before casting him into the realm of forgotten teen stars. And judging by this song, for good reason. so glad that we left this one in its horrible year.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I'll admit readily, this #1 pick is a strange one. I don't really expect you all to follow me on this one, but I'll do my best. To start things off, I pretty much hated this year for pop music. I remember it back in the day and being excited by very few songs coming out this year. And looking back on it now, yeah, this was truly a dark, dark time for pop music. If the best list wasn't worthwhile, I might honestly place it alongside 2014 and 2016. So where am I going with this?

Well, my #1 song represents moreso a breaking point for me than really hating the song proper. On its own, it's pretty inoffensive bland garbage. Put into context of ranking the entire year... I just could not stand this and all my hatred for this garbage year for pop music can be represented by this song. So here it is.

1. "What You Got" - Colby O'Donis ft. Akon

 

I'm just sick of it. Honestly, I am just sick and tired of these bland club songs with no distinction with Akon trying to croon his way out of a paper bag and some self-righteous douchebag douchebagging all over the track with his douchebag lyrics and douchebag personality. Douchebag.

This is Colby O'Donis, perhaps best known for being the only forgettable part on Lady Gaga's "Just Dance". It's not surprising to me that a song where he fronts the track is this awful. I can't explain it fully, but this chorus really stands out to me as the most douchetastic thing of the year. It's got this aura of a douchebag guy being attracted to a woman, but also feeling threatened by her own self-confidence. It's almost Mike Posner-ish. Okay, maybe not that bad, but you know, at least I remember Mike Posner. This is garbage in exactly the same way all the garbage songs this year were garbage, Fuck this song, fuck this whole stupid year.

No, wait. Now I remember why this song is #1.

http://ytcropper.com/cropped/Lb58de98d0d4c6a

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOUR SONG WASN'T DOUCHETASTIC ENOUGH YOU HAD TO END IT WITH AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR SOLO? FUCK YOU COLBY O'DONIS, FUCK YOU! GOD DAMN THIS FUCKING YEAR, I'M OUT

 

 

[Katniss]

The only good song I can think of that Akon has been featured on is The Sweet Escape. It helps that he barely sings on that one though lol