Best and Worst of Entertainment 2012

[Clappy]

I remember we had a similar topic to this last year, except it was for primarily music. Pretty much make your lists of the best/worst movies, best/worst songs, best/worst television shows over the past year. I'll do my list later tonight because I have a feeling I'll go into incredible detail like usual.

[Clappy]

So for my lists, I'm going to start off with a Bottom 10 for Music with an explanation as to why I choose each. It was hard to come up with 10 out of so many possible choices out there, but this is what I got. More to come later with the other categories.

Bottom 10 Songs:

10. "Whistle" - Flo Rida

I seriously hate this song for being so catchy. I blame the whistling. But after the first hundred thousand times you've heard this on the radio, you have to switch it to something else. Especially the god awful lyrics. Oh and if you haven't realized by now, the song is about wanting to blow Flo Rida himself.

9. "Sorry For Party Rocking" - LMFAO

LMFAO managed to make two horribly written songs into catchy party anthems on their two previous radio plays. This one on the other hand...was not.

8. "Turn On The Lights" - Future

This guy made money by doing this song....and it reached number one on rap radio stations? What am I doing with my life?

7. "Give Me All Your Luvin'" - Madonna featuring M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj

So besides being famous for the middle finger incident at the Super Bowl halftime show, I remember that DJs were openly mocking this song when it first premiered. Don't forget, DJs are paid to pretend to like all terrible music on the radio. They couldn't even pretend to like this...ouch.

6. "Birthday Song" - 2 Chainz featuring Kanye West

Kanye...what are you doing? You have talent. 2 Chainz...you don't. I hate this song. The lyrics are a travesty. This video, don't even get me started. My ears are bleeding from just listening to this while I am typing out why I hate it so much. Good thing I didn't go to my homecoming this year because that would mean I would have to pay to see this guy perform. I'd rather waste my money elsewhere.

5. "Fuck U Betta" - Neon Hitch

That one chick from that one Gym Class Heroes song sings a song about humping everything in sight. Sounds erotic? Well prepare for disappointment when you hear the raping of autotune and watch her dry humping a tombstone. This is just laughably bad.

4. "T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)" - will.i.am featuring Jennifer Lopez and...Mick Jagger? WHY????

This technically came out in December 2011, but it didn't become a radio mainstay until January 2012, so I'm counting it. Will.i.am....you are hit or miss with me as a solo artist. You know how to make some really catchy beats. I'm not gonna lie. But this.....this is just...a travesty. But you aren't alone. Jennifer Lopez, J-Lo, Jenny, whoever you are. You can't hide behind your horribly autotuned voice. And Mick, what the fuck do you think you are doing? Just because Maroon 5 decided to dedicate a song to you doesn't mean you should come back into modern pop culture in something outside your genre. Just...a mess...

3. "TTYLXOX" - Bella Thorne

I know it's getting old bashing Disney, but come on, they let this happen and it reached Billboard charts. Can't you hear this mess? It's not like they were even trying to compose an actual song here. Plus, Bella Thorne...sweety...you can't sing, rap, whatever the hell you consider yourself doing. I would place this as number one, but I am being slightly generous since we all know she is just a product of the Disney corporate machine and is being forced to sing.

2. "Stupid Hoe" - Nicki Minaj

This song and this video is the most seizure and nightmare inducing song in a long time. When you think the song can't get worse, it does. Then it gets even worse. Then worse still. Nicki Nicki Nicki. If I could, I would nominate even more of your music (Beez in the Trap almost made the cut). This is fine for now...but your song is abysmal.

1. "Birthday Cake" - Rihanna featuring Chris Brown

Congrats Rihanna. You managed to top Nicki Minaj. I don't know how you did it...oh wait, yes I do. The cake metaphors that are absolutely ridiculous even comparing herself to a rice cake, which really isn't hard to do since a rice cake tastes like cardboard. I am not even bothered by the fact that she did this song with controversial ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. If you did it for the controversy, at least put forth an effort into making the song likeable. This song simply takes the cake for the worst song of 2012...see what I did there?

[Sauce Mama]

Is it wrong that I know almost all the words to Stupid Hoe?

[Clappy]

Is it wrong that I know almost all the words to Stupid Hoe?

You poor soul...

[Metal Snake]

Is it wrong that I actually sort of like Sorry for Party Rocking?

[Old Man Jenkins]

Is it wrong that I never heard pretty much any of these?

[Clappy]

Is it wrong that I actually sort of like Sorry for Party Rocking?

Absolutely not. That is my opinion, you are allowed to like whatever you want. Btw, feel free to make your own list too.

Is it wrong that I never heard pretty much any of these?

You are a lucky man then OMJ.

[Macseed]

Played all 10 songs at the same tim (litterally. I pressed play at the same time)GAH

[Webizoid]

Played all 10 songs at the same tim (litterally. I pressed play at the same time)GAH

QUICK! Give him 20 CCs of The Beatles and Queen!

[JCM]

Played all 10 songs at the same tim (litterally. I pressed play at the same time)GAH

Why would you do that to yourself? Do you enjoy bleeding ears?

[kev]

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE...OP...OP...OPOPOP...GANGNAM STYLE

[Wumbo]

I like Sorry for Party Rocking, but I can see why it would be disliked.

[Clappy]

You guys can feel free to start making your share of lists btw.

Tonight, I'll be doing the Top 10 worst movies I've seen that were released this year in theaters....that was a mouthful but I'm trying to be precise with this.

Being the movie buff I am, there are tons of movies that I have yet to view this year that were downright horrible (oh hai That's My Boy), but this is what I've seen.

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2012:

10. Project X

While I have seen much worse teen comedies, my problem with this movie was believe it or not, not the shaky cam. It was how mean spirited everyone was. I swear that the sidekick, whatever his name was, made me want to punch him in the face. His jokes were not funny. They were cruel and asshole-ish. Oh and that's not all. Half of this movie is just people drinking, smoking, and getting naked. I could go to a local party if I wanted to see that kind of entertainment. Boring.

9. Ice Age: Continental Drift

If you want all the details, go to my Crap Cinema thread. This wasn't terrible, but it was bad. An improvement over Ice Age 3 definitely, but the effort is still not there. This franchise is more capable of making better films.

8. John Carter

I don't like this movie. Not because it flopped, but it had the potential to be awesome based off the source material. I mean it inspired so many of the great fantasy/sci-fi movies like Star Wars. This movie dragged and dragged and dragged. Most disappointing movie I've seen this year.

7. Dark Shadows

I actually didn't expect this to be all that good. I love Johnny Depp and of course he was the only thing I liked about this movie. Otherwise, the rest of this movie was dull and uninteresting. Tim Burton needs to get himself together. He had two bombs this year with this and Frankenweenie. Hopefully he can rebound from 2012 because he will always be one of my favorite directors, but I just have not been impressed with his films over the past five years.

6. Total Recall (2012)

The less I say about this unnecessary remake, the better. Go watch Arnold's 1990 version. You won't regret it.

5. Battleship

I don't know if there are any jokes that have not been made about this movie yet. Not even going to bother coming up with any original material...just like Universal did when they thought of this.

4. The Three Stooges

I enjoy the original comedy shorts/mini-movies. This on the other hand. Let me make this short and simple. The Stooges were never meant for a 90+ minute movie. I mean you can only get so far with eye pokes, head hammers, and other forms of physical comedy for so long without it getting over redundant and wanting more original material.

3. Red Dawn (2012)

Another movie that did not deserve a remake. Replace Russia with North Korea and have Chris Hemsworth pretend to be a non-foreigner and you get this. You know what made the original Red Dawn good? Because Russia was a legitimate threat to the United States. While North Korea is not what you would consider a walk in the park at this time, I think it would be more believable if it was...maybe China? Regardless, stupid stupid action movie. Oh and Josh Peck...you should stay far far away from action movies. You can't pull off being a rebel badass. You just can't. HUG ME BROTHA!

2. Man on a Ledge

It's a man on the ledge of a hotel building threatening to commit suicide. How do you stretch that to a 90 minute movie? The premise has so much potential for thrills until they do the worst plot twist imaginable. Make the man's suicide be a cover up for a major heist.....WWWWHHHHAAATTTT???? It's seriously that stupid. The man went to jail for false accusations, unexplained escape from said jail, and pretends to commit suicide because he wants to steal something from his former boss? It went from an interesting plot to a convoluted plot so quickly. I hate this. Oh and Sam Worthington has to be the most generic leading man in Hollywood. He just can't act.

1. The Devil Inside

I think my Crap Cinema explained the massive failure that was this movie. Please go there because I think I went into pretty lengthy detail as to why this movie fails so badly.

[Old Man Jenkins]

The funny thing is China was supposed to be the opposing invading force in the Red Dawn remake but they changed it up to North Korea in order to make it profitable in the Chinese box office. Hell, they pretty much superimposed NK over China throughout the whole film. The movie still would've sucked either way.

[Clappy]

The funny thing is China was supposed to be the opposing invading force in the Red Dawn remake but they changed it up to North Korea in order to make it profitable in the Chinese box office. Hell, they pretty much superimposed NK over China throughout the whole film. The movie still would've sucked either way.

I actually read about that on /Film after it was released. It would have still sucked regardless, yes. But at least try to make this major threat be...a believable threat.

[Old Man Jenkins]

I actually read about that on /Film after it was released. It would have still sucked regardless, yes. But at least try to make this major threat be...a believable threat.

I can only assume Kim Jong-un never got his cake.

[Wumbo]

My bottom 10 songs of 2012 will probably be self-explanatory once I finish my Bottom 50 of all time. I'll get to a Top 10 list soon.

[Clappy]

So tonight, I'll be finishing the worst of 2012 with my worst television shows. Note that my list is judged based on their performance levels in 2012. So I got both new shows and familiar shows from last year and beyond that are still producing new episodes.

10. The Fairly Oddparents (Nick)

This show can stay on hiatus forever. Hell, it can just end today. After playing catch up with the episodes I have not seen...I wish I can revise my Top 50 All-Time list because of it. I would actually remove this show entirely from it. This show has gotten so bad, I am actually sorry for Butch Hartman for not being able to escape from this commitment.

9. The Neighbors (ABC)

Remember when I made a thread over the summer for this random ABC show that looked quirky enough to grab my interest? Well it sure was not quirky. More like half assed everything. Terrible, just terrible.

8. Superjail (CN/Adult Swim)

I know this site has a small fanbase who love this show, but I hate it so much. I don't know why I bothered to give this show a shot again (ohai Elastic xP) because it was even worse the second attempt. Why is Adult Swim so fond of it? I hope something new comes along and pushes it to syndicated hell along with Saul of the Mole Men...yep I just went there.

7. Two and a Half Men (CBS)

It's painful to see what this show has become. You know why the series lasted so long before? Good chemistry between the two male leads thanks to Charlie Sheen's character. Ashton Kutcher's rapport with Jon Cryer is like rubbing two wet sticks to make fire. It just won't happen, as we watch the horrible writing further expose itself.

6. Snooki and J-Woww (MTV)

Why did I even bother to give this show a shot out of boredom? I absolutely hate Jersey Shore and this wasn't any different. Fool me once, shame on you MTV. Fool me twice, shame on me. I am so ashamed.

5. Whitney (NBC)

Whitney Cummings. You really are a funny girl and you can be a good writer too (see the hilarious 2 Broke Girls). But this is just abysmal. The fact that this series keeps getting renewed with abysmal ratings is shocking. I tried it to experience if it was as awful as advertised...and boy did it not disappoint on that front. You know you have to be bad if I enjoyed my first time watching a Jersey Shore spin-off more than this.

4. Either Nickelodeon Television Series Starring Lucas Cruikshank (Nick)

Put either one of them here. I've tried them both. I facepalmed an awful lot during my viewings. Obviously, Lucas as Fred is the butt of many jokes at how terrible his character is, so let me take the time to bash Marvin Marvin. Raping the laughtrack does not help and Lucas is still playing the same obnoxious character as he does in Fred here too. Just replace the chipmunk voice with his actual one. I will admit Lucas has good comedic timing when he is given the right material (he actually didn't do that bad of a job in iMeet Fred, despite the negative feedback the episode itself has gotten), but he just can't pick out a good premise for a show to save his life.

3. Jessie (Disney)

Derp more Disney Channel hate. I could easily rank Shake It Up as the worst television show of the year, but that would acknowledge the fact that I tuned into a single episode this year...which I didn't because that show will always be a heaping pile of shit. So now, I am turning my attention to this other Disney Channel piece of crap. I already made a thread explaining my disdain for it, but for those who didn't see it, this has to be the worst example of character stereotyping I have ever seen on a children's show. Worst of all is that they make bad jokes at the expense of their stereotypes (for example, the Indian kid gets made fun of for his cultural beliefs). It's not funny, it's not bold and brash either. It belongs in the trash.

2. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! (TLC)

Seriously, fuck this show. This is absolute trash and I have no clue what the hell this is doing on The Learning Channel of all places. I've never bothered to watch Toddlers and Tiaras, the apparent piece of shit program that Honey Boo Boo spun off of, but we are seriously watching the bar being lowered if this program is a cult phenomenon. Yes, I just referenced South Park while explaining my disdain, but they nailed it right out of the ballpark with their riffing of this.

1. Rob! (CBS)

This show just sucked and the fact that it had over 13 million viewers at one point is an insult to my intelligence. Keeping up his trademark buffoonery at the expense of every ethnic type in any given census report, Schneider targeted Mexicans in Rob, playing a tool with OCD who marries into a Mexican-American family, overseen by the shameless Cheech Marin. Cue the onslaught of stereotypes and obvious look-at-the-white-guy punch lines. And the ringing of Adam Sandler’s iPhone as Schneider calls him to beg for a role in the next Happy Madison production.

[Jjs Goodman]

10. The Fairly Oddparents (Nick)

This show can stay on hiatus forever. Hell, it can just end today. After playing catch up with the episodes I have not seen...I wish I can revise my Top 50 All-Time list because of it. I would actually remove this show entirely from it. This show has gotten so bad, I am actually sorry for Butch Hartman for not being able to escape from this commitment.

I definitely agree here, I honestly started to give up on FOP mid-way through Season 7 because the episodes were getting painfully dull and horrible, and Season 8 did nothing for me either. I haven't seen the new Christmas TV movie, so no comment there.

[Metal Snake]

Good movies list, but what was so bad about Frankenweenie? Props for putting Fairly Oddparents on the worst shows list, many of the later episodes are some of the most annoying things I've seen that have called themselves cartoons. Superjail is (sort of) a guilty pleasure for me though.