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Jackie Chan

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Status Updates posted by Jackie Chan

  1. Jackie Chan

    *throws shoe*

    1. dmandagiraffe

      dmandagiraffe

      *dodges*

    2. MMM

      MMM

      I was genuinely impressed by George’s quick dodging there.

  2. Jackie Chan

    They've been waiting patiently for Pinocchio to poke his nose 

  3. Jackie Chan

    You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well...that would just be okay.

    1. President Squidward

      President Squidward

      Don't die on us, Jackie 

  4. Jackie Chan

    ...LET'S just recap. You STEAL my motorcycle. I DON'T have you arrested. I'm forced to wait an hour... for BAGELS I didn't even WANT! (grabs the bag and shakes it) And then I come HOME to find you CHEWING on my sister's FACE!

    1. sbl

      sbl

      We were kissing.

    2. President Squidward

      President Squidward

      BAGELS

       

      BAGELS

  5. Jackie Chan

    I just wanna hug your mama in her Subaru Hatchback

  6. Jackie Chan

    today marks the 10 year anniversary of another episode blessed by the gods: Choir Boys

    1. dmandagiraffe

      dmandagiraffe

      you’re a bit late, mr. chan. thank you anyways

  7. Jackie Chan

    Bobby?

    1. Jjs Goodman

      Jjs Goodman

      tony danza

    2. Rebel the Wolfgirl

      Rebel the Wolfgirl

      vmptfl.gif.gif&f=1

  8. Jackie Chan

    can I just say that Hawk/ACS has one of the best redemption arcs of all time 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. PatBack

      PatBack

      top 10 anime redemptions

      but what about meee

    3. kev

      kev

      finally!! im tired of this will-they/will-they-not storyline this season

    4. President Squidward

      President Squidward

      We shall celebrate this redemption by playing YSFlight 

  9. Jackie Chan

    FUCK BIN LADEN

  10. Jackie Chan

    Halibut does not suck.

  11. Jackie Chan

    hey now wait a minute, if SBC truly has a liberal agenda, then why is there a Trump Hat in the iFish store!?!?

    1. Rebel the Wolfgirl

      Rebel the Wolfgirl

      BECAUSE THE LIBERALS ARE TRYING TO MOCK US WITH THEIR RED PILLS AND LUNCHABLES

    2. Wumbo

      Wumbo

      maybe sbc has a secret-er conservative agenda

      brb opening up google docs

  12. Jackie Chan

    i am a football playing king in space

    1. That Excited SpongeKid

      That Excited SpongeKid

      no IM a football playing king in space... with a mustache!

    2. SpongeCob

      SpongeCob

      You're a football, you're playing king, AND you're in space?

  13. Jackie Chan

    I am honored to see this song about me: 

     

    1. WhoBibbles

      WhoBibbles

      petition for Jackie Chan to guest star in Iron Fist.

  14. Jackie Chan

    i feel so fucking bad for jjs

     

    1. sbl

      sbl

      it's ok jackie take your time

    2. Mr. Eugene Krabs

      Mr. Eugene Krabs

      I respect you, Barnacle Jjs.

  15. Jackie Chan

    I have returned from a long voyage to inform you all I am officially passing my god status of SBC to @Danny DeVito. It has been an honor serving you all, but I am needed elsewhere. SBC will be fine without me. I will miss you all, but I shall try to drop in when I still can. Thank you all for understanding. May the ass kicking be with you.

    1. Danny DeVito

      Danny DeVito

      it would be an honor, good sir

    2. Thanos

      Thanos

      Ah, good. Now I can take your place.

  16. Jackie Chan

    I hope everyone enjoyed paying their respects to our lord Satan today.

  17. Jackie Chan

    I still exist!

    1. Wumbo

      Wumbo

      wheres ur fuckin daughter

  18. Jackie Chan

    i want a pony

    1. Wumbo

      Wumbo

      GET THIS MAN A PONY

  19. Jackie Chan

    i will catch the snipe

  20. Jackie Chan

    I wish a joyful two year mod anniversary to my son @Chuck Mangione.

    1. Joe Biden

      Joe Biden

      Thanks, Chan-son.

  21. Jackie Chan

    If The Last Jedi is such a mind blowing film, then why didn't it have VR Wookie porn? Think about that.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. MMM

      MMM

      yeah!

    3. RD Rockruff

      RD Rockruff

      Damn it Ruin Johnson you missed out on an opportunity

    4. Patty Rose

      Patty Rose

      Finally, an actual good argument against Last Jedi.

  22. Jackie Chan

    It is my honor to announce racism is indeed over, forever.

    1. MMM

      MMM

      I’m crying. Thanks for making it happen, mister.

  23. Jackie Chan

    Let it be known that President Bush is the best president of our lifetimes, and slander against him will NOT be tolerated in my household.

    1. RD Rockruff

      RD Rockruff

      Rarely is the question asked, are- is our children learning?

  24. Jackie Chan

    Macklemore invented rap.

  25. Jackie Chan

    NO I'M NOT FINISHED WITH THOSE ERRANDS AND I NEVER WILL BE

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