Clapwald

[kev]

What is this I don't even...

[Aya♥]

Clapwald
Episode 14: Rick-Daisy and the Dickling
 

The scene opens up to Clapwald, Ayaeenie, and Rick-Daisy playing Frisbee in the Big Titty Park.

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Yippie!"

 

Clapwald:  "Alright!  Here's the dildo, coming back atcha!"

Rick-Daisy:  "Catch Clapwald!"  Clapwald looks on, as his mental capacity had reached its limit.

Ayaeenie:  "Fine, I'll catch it, you dead brain loser."  Ayaeenie jumps up and catches it next to a pond.  A bunch of dicks come swimming by, quaking like there's no tomorrow!

Clapwald:  "Uhhh duuuh."

Ayaeenie:  "I think he's broken man."

Rick-Daisy:  "Phew!  I thought that shit was gonna get wet."

Clapwald:  "Me three."  The three walk over to the pond and see those damn dirty dicks walk up on shore, but one little dickling strayed away from the group to smell the flowers.  The duck then looks up and see's Rick-Daisy's big, bright, yella head and instantly thinks she is its mother.

Rick-Daisy:  "Come on Clapwald, I'll race you to the Drug Store!  On your marks, get set..."

Dickling:  "Yo, sup bitch."

All:  "Gasp!"  the three look around for a bit, to see where that black noise came from.

Dickling:  "Yo bitches, I'm right here!"  he walks infront of them all.

Clapwald:  "Look Alf, there's the Dick!"

Dickling:  "Yo, you best step off son, befo I bust a cap in yo ass fool!"

Clapwald:  "Hey there Garfield!"

Dickling:  "Yo, I ain't no muthfuckin cat do!"

Clapwald:  "Gee Alf, that hommie is all alone...I wonder where Toby is?"

Rick-Daisy:  "If you mean his mother, maybe on the pond."

Clapwald:  "Turrible idea, let's go look!"  the three walk over but see no Dicks!

Clapwald:  "Nope, no Toby!"

Rick-Daisy:  "Well, let's go to the Drug Store!  See ya around little Dicky!"

Dickling:  "Yo bitch, you my momma, Imma come wif."

Clapwald:  "Wait Alf!  We have to help this dickling find his momma."

Rick-Daisy:  "But how you brain dead waste of life?"

Clapwald:  "Uhmm....uuhhhh."

Dickling:  "Yo dumbass, whats takin u so long g."

Clapwald: "I know!  I'll try barking!  Then maybe mamma dick will hear me!  Bark...bark...bark."

Dickling:  "Yo dis nugga serious."

Ayaeenie:  "Why did this fucker come with us anyway?"

Rick-Daisy:  "That's not gonna work Clapwald.  You don't even sound like a Dick!"

Clapwald:  "It was worth a try!  Don't worry my little gangsta,  we'll find Toby."

Dickling:  "Yo, who da hell is Toby?  Dis nugga be brain fried."

Clapwald and company keep walking, while he barks like a fucking idiot.  The four eventually reach the street where they look back and forth 3 times before crossing.

Dickling:  "Yo yella bitch, hold my hand, u my momma rite?"

Rick-Daisy:  "Well, alrighty!"

Eventually the make it to the other side, and continue walking until they reach the Big Titty Diner.

Clapwald:  "BARK! BARK! ARF!"

Ayaeenie:  "I bark less than that."

Clapwald:  "Hello Pooh, hello Christopher Robin.  BARK BARK!"

Saucey:  "Why the fuck are you barking, and why did you call me Pooh?"

Charina:  "Goo..goo."

Clapwald:  "Have you seen this Toby walking around?"

Saucey:  "Shut up Clapwald.  Who's your friend Rick-Daisy?"

Rick-Daisy:  "You know, I never gave him a name..hmm...I'll call you E-Dawg."

E-Dawg:  "Yo, das a gud name nugga."

Saucey:  "How vulgar."

E-Dawg:  "Yo shut up bitch!"  E-Dawg pulls out a glock and pops a cap in Saucey and Charina, killing them.

Clapwald:  "Come on, let's find Toby!  BARK BARK BARK!"  the four head on, when the run into the Egg Twins at the park.

E-Dawg:  "Yo bitch, I'm hungry, feed me."

Clapwald:  "I think he wants to feed, Alf!"  Clapwald walks up to CNFbert and Omair.

CNFbert:  "Oh, hello Clapwald, what brings you here today?"

Clapwald grabs both the eggs and smashes them together and gives them to Rick-Daisy,  "Feed him!"

Rick-Daisy:  "Golly Tamale, you sure are hungry!"

E-Dawg:  "Yo, dis shit is da bomb nugga.  Yo dude, I wanna ride dis seesaw!"

Rick-Daisy places E-Dawg on the seesaw,  "YO DUDE, DIS MANG!  WAHOO!"

Clapwald:  "Come on let's go!  BARK ARF!"  the four trek onward.  They eventually reach the Ass Cream shop.

Jenkman:  "Ok, who the hell is barking outside of my store."

Clapwald:  "It's me Thomas.  We're looking for Toby.  Have you seen her?"

Jenkman:  "I was busting my ass off making asscream all day, and you go around asking me who Toby is?  Who this hell is Toby?  Get away from my face you fucking octopus.  You to Rick-Daisy, I just hate you."

E-Dawg:  "YO, NO ONE TALKS TO MY MOMMA LIEK DAT!"  he pulls out a gat and lays waste to Johnny Jenkman, leaving him as a pile of water and snow.

Rick-Daisy:  "You need to take it easy on the murder mister!  I'm not your mom anyway man."

E-Dawg:  "Yo...you not my momma?"

Rick-Daisy:  "I'm a fucking flower, not a dick."

E-Dawg stares in silence at Rick-Daisy,  "Yo, I know what must be done."  he pulls out his glock and puts it to his head.  "Yo...stand back, this could hurt someone!"  he pulls the trigger, killing himself instantly.  Clapwald, Ayaeenie, and Rick-Daisy just walk away as if nothing had happened.

The camera pans into the empty asscream shop where Rod Sterling is no where to be seen.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Somebody call a doctor!

[sbl]

finally a episode title that has me in it.

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 15: Going Fishing

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald, Ayaeenie, and Wumbo standing next to a bus bench, holding fishing equipment.

Clapwald:  "Gee Wumbo, this was a turrible idea to go fishing on such a beautiful day like this.  This is going to be SWELL."

 

 

Ayaeenie:  "Dis shit is not gonna be fun at all."
 

 

Wumbo:  "Yes, I knew this would be something we all hated, and have an awful day at the lake."  he says while cocking back and forth in his signature cocking chair.

 

 

Clapwald:  "I've never been fishing before.  Do you think we will catch a lot of cats?"

 

 

Wumbo stares blankly, still cocking before answering,  "You are really dumb buddy old pal.  Just listen to me, and we'll catch plenty of FISH."
 

 

Rick-Daisy and E-Dawg walk up, holding their fishing gear.

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Tally ho fisher friends!"

 

 

E-Dawg:  "Yo, dis shit is wak."

 

 

Clapwald:  "Hi Rick-Daisy, hi E-Dawg."

 

 

Wumbo:  "Greetings."  he tips his Bray Wyatt hat afterwards.

 

 

Ayaeenie:  "Let's just get this shit over with."

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Did I bring the right fishing stuff Wumbo?"  she holds up lacrosse equipment.

 

 

Wumbo:  "Get out of my face, now, and your little dick too!"

 

 

E-Dawg pulls out a glock and sticks it to Wumbo's head,  "Yo fool, imma bout to blast yo brains all ova dat conreet!"  Wumbo picks up the dick and throws him into an oncoming bus, killing him instantly.

 

 

Wumbo:  "That'll have to do Rick-Daisy, just fine."

 

 

Clapwald:  "I'm glad we've got an expert fishermen here with us!"

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Me too!"

 

 

Wumbo:  "Well, fish are my passion, same with dildos, and Playboy.  Anywho, we will catch plenty of fish by the end of the day!"

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Fish-tastic!"

 

 

Clapwald:  "One more fish pun, and you're done!  I'm gonna catch a fish,"  Clapwald whips out his dick, "This big!"

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Oh yeah?  I'm gonna catch one,"  she whips out her dick, "THIS BIG!"

 

 

Clapwald:  "BAH GAWD DING!"

 

 

Wumbo, clearing throat,:  "Let's not get too carried away.  The most important thing to fishing is my ass, and catching fish.  Although, I won't be surprised if I caught one that's,"  Wumbo whips out his large massive dick, "THIS BIG!"

 

 

Clapwald and Rick-Daisy gasp.

 

 

Clapwald:  "Wow Wumbo!"

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Golly Tamale!"

 

 

Wumbo:  "Oops, I crushed Ayaeenie,"  he lifts up his meat to reveal Ayaeenie, dead.  The bus then arrives.

 

 

WWE:  "All aboard!  Bus heading for Big Titty Lake!"

 

 

Clapwald:  "K everybody, let's go fishing!"  The three board the bus and head towards the lake.  The make it there in seconds flat do to time restraints on the show.

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "How ugly!"

 

 

Clapwald:  "It sure is!"

 

 

Wumbo:  "Times a wastin, let's fish."  The three march towards the lake.

 

 

Clapwald:  "Gee, I wonder where a good place to fish would be?"

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Yeah, the lake is so big!"

 

 

Wumbo:  "Don't worry friends, I know where to find the good shit.  Follow the buzzards."

 

 

Rick-Daisy sees a huge pink, phallic shaped fish leaping out of the water,  "FISH HO, FISH HO!"

 

 

Wumbo:  "EY, IT'S DICKY MOE!  I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN ALL ME LIFE FOR IT!"  Wumbo throws his cocking chair into the water and hops onto it.

 

 

Clapwald:  "Wumbo, what are you doing?!"

 

 

Wumbo:  "I'M CATCHING HER THIS TIME FELLAS!  THERE SHE BLOWS!"  The humongous penis fish leaped up high, and arched over the cocking chair, while Wumbo snags it with his fish rod.  Dicky Moe's massive strength was enough to sink Wumbo and his cocking chair.

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "GOLLY TAMALE!"

 

 

Clapwald:  "WUMBO!"

 

 

The scene shifts back to Wumbo and Dicky Moe locked in and eternal struggle.

 

 

Wumbo:  "You're not getting away from me buddy boy!"  Wumbo throws a right, nabbing Dicky in the eye.  Dicky Moe, out of frustration, results in doing the only thing from stopping this deranged penguin, eating him.  Dicky Moe takes one huge gulp, and swallows Wumbo whole.

 

 

Meanwhile back on land:

 

 

Clapwald:  "He's been down there an awful long time."

 

 

Rick-Daisy:  "Let's ditch him, wanna get some asscream?"

 

 

Clapwald:  "Sure!"

 

Back to Dicky Moe, 3 days later:

 

 

Wumbo, writing in a diary, "Day 3,  I've devised a plan to break out of this beast, and bring er back home.  The only problem is I might not make it through alive.  I have nothing else to live for anyway, so let's go."  Wumbo throws his notepad down, and brings out the ultimate weapon, the large dragon brand dildo the world had ever seen.  "I'm about to penetrate you into a whole nother world you son of a bitch!"  Wumbo thrusts the thorny toy straight throw the belly of Dicky Moe.  The sharpness of the spikes had lodged into the meat of Dicky Moe, making Wumbo stuck under the water.  He struggles but to no use.  Wumbo, after several minutes of attempted escape from the stomach, accepts that he will die, and lets go.  The two bodies float to the bottom of the ocean in a bloody heap of organs and blubber.

 

 

Rod Sterling rides ontop of the lake in his boat.

 

 

Rod:  "A mythical whale beast escaped countless attempts of capture from it's arch rival, Wumbo, but in the end, no one won this eternal struggle between Penguin and Whale kind.  This sort of shit only happens in, The Twilight Zone."

 

 

 

[Old Man Jenkins]

DICKY MOOOOOOEEEEEEEEE!

[MMM]

Next episode plz?

[Aya♥]

Next episode plz?

maybe someday

[Aya♥]

Clapwald
Episode 16: Sleep Ogre

 

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald's apartment building.  Clapwald is packing a suitcase while Ayaeenie stares as the fat octopus shoves his collection of foreign lube and assortment of dildos into the case.

 

 

Clapwald:  "Pink one..slippers....tonight's the night Ayaeenie!  Wumbo invited us to a cult meeting at his house!"

 

 

Ayaeenie:  "This shit again."


Clapwald:  "I know it's your very first cult gathering Ayaeenie, but don't worry, it's right down stairs.  It's just like our apartment, only it's going to be covered in blood and candles assorted through out the rooms.  Wumbo's our good friend anyway, he wouldn't sacrifice us to The Devil!"


Ayaeenie:  "No, I ain't going."


Clapwald:  "Listen you fucking bitch, just bring you're god damned bone."


Ayaeenie:  "Ahh hell yeah, now i'm all aboard!"


Clapwald:  "Get your ass in gear and let's roll out."  Clapwald grabs his suitcase while Ayaeenie grabs her bone and they set off to Wumbo's apartment.  As they are walking, Nuggets is slowly making his way up the stairs.


Clapwald:  "Get on skype!"  he sets off again without letting Nuggets say anything.  They reach Wumbo's door and bang loudly on it.


Wumbo:  "What's the passcode?"


Clapwald:  "morman jesus."


Wumbo:  "Right this way brethren!  Welcome to your very first cult ritual!  This is going to be the best sacrifice ever!  Time for dinna."

 

 

The three head off for the kitchen to whip up some nasty shit.

 

 

Clapwald:  "What are we having?"


Wumbo:  "For our first ritual together, we're having my favorite Saturday meal, Trout Balls and Spaghetti."


Ayaeenie:  "Man I don't want to eat dis shit."


Clapwald:  "Uhm, that's not what Ayaeenie wants dude.  She usually eats poo.  But what the fuck, let's eat this nasty shit."


Ayaeenie:  "NO DAMN IT, NO!"


Clapwald:   "Lol too bad."  he plops the dinna on her plate.


Wumbo:  "Help yourself to a penguin feast buddy boy!  I made the sauce with real blood."   Clapwald takes a bite and spits it all over Wumbo's face.


Clapwald:  "Why that was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted, you cruel bastard."


Ayaeenie:  "You ain't makin me eat dis shit."  she flips the bowl over and grunts with anger.


Wumbo:  "Great, now my carpet and my face are dirty, you people are slobs.  Time to watch TV."


Clapwald:  "Oh boy!  Come on Ayaeenie.  Yippie!  We're just in time for Sauce Clues!"


Webster:  "You kids can't do anything right, I don't see any god damned clues."


Lurkers:  "THERE YOU MORON!"


Webster:  "Oh!  You mean right there, right there!"   Wumbo changes the channel to The Ballsy Journey of The Testicle-Eating Fish!"


Clapwald:  "I was watching that dude."


Wumbo:  "I always watch TBJOTTE, every Saturday."


Clapwald:  "Ayaeenie and I usually watch Sauce's Clues.  But what the hell, let's try this."


Narrator:  "On tonight's episode of...of fuck it, I DON'T GET PAYED ENOUGH FOR THIS JOB!"  a "Please Stand By" sign takes the place of the episode.


Clapwald:  "Wow!  What a great show!  Ayaeenie and I should have watched this before!"


Wumbo:  "7 o'clock, ritual time."  Wumbo shuts off the tv and walks into his bedroom.  He drags out Rick-Daisy bound by rope and her mouth covered with cloth.  "Alright buddy boy, get the candles and the knife.  It's time to draw blood for our lord, Mormon Jesus."  Clapwald walks into the kitchen and grabs large candles, and places them around their friend.  He treks back and collects a huge cleaver, sharp enough to cut down a tree.   "Good good very good, now it is time to draw the blood of the victim to please Mormon Jesus!"

Ayaeenie:  "OH FUCK DIS SHIT!"  she jumps out of the window and runs into the street, only to get splattered by an ice cream truck.


Clapwald:  "THANK YOU LORD, PRAISE THEE!"  he plants the knife into Rick-Daisy's chest, spilling the blood on the floor as Wumbo chanted in Utah speak to please the Mormon Jesus.  The apartment building started to rumble,


Wumbo:  "THE SECOND COMING, HE'S HERE BUDDY BOY!  IT'S REALLY HIM!"  when in reality a 9.5 earthquake was striking Big Titty, and in this event, the apartment building collapsed on top of everyone inside, killing them all.

Rod Sterling emerges from the rubble,  "A miracle?  The rapture?  No, just mother nature having her period.  Here only at, The Twilight Zone."

 

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Minisode 1: Webster The Unfriendly Dragon
 

The scene opened up to Clapwald walking his dog, Ayaeenie in the park.


Clapwald:  "Yo Ayaeenie, Ya know what I'd like?  A nice tall glass of piss."  Ayaeenie ran around in circles, licking her chops.  "Let's go get some!"


???:  "OOOHH SHIT!  SHIIIIT!"


Clapwald:  "Who they fuck is cursing?"  The anonymous voice kept repeating SHIT over and over again.  Clapwald and Ayaeenie peeked over a hill and saw a dragon!


Ayaeenie:  "Fuck this shit, I'm out.  You're welcome Jenkins."


Webster:  "PISS!  DAMN IT!  HOLY SHIT."


Clapwald:  "That dragon...his dick is caught in that thorny tree!"


Webster:  "SOMEBODY UNDICK ME!"


Clapwald:  "He's gonna need some help!  Gosh I hope he is friendly."  Clapwald gets up and walks over to Webster,  "Sup, the name's Clapwald."


Webster:  "FUCK MY NAME, JUST GET MY DICK UNSTUCK."


Clapwald:  "Alright dude, I'll help you out."


Webster:  "Oh thank the lord."


Clapwald:  "Ok, let's see... Ah!"  he pulls the brances apart, so his dick is free.  "There, now get your penis out of there!"


Webster:  "HHHNNG GUH!"  his dick, now covered in a crimson blood from the prickle pines, seemed pretty broken.  "YOU BROKE MY DICK FUCKER!"  he took a large bite out of Clapwald's head, killing him.  "From now on, we're freinds...forever."


Ron Sterling stepped out from behind the hill,  "There's a moral to this story kids, and it's not to pull a dragon's dick out of a thorn bush.  Unless you're from, The Twilight Zone."

 

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 16: Organ Collecting

 

The episode opens up to Clapwald and Ayaeenie walking through the Big Titty park.

 

 

 

Clapwald:  "Gosh Ayaeenie, look at all these fugly clouds, they make me sick."


Ayaeenie:  "Arrf!"


A newleaffan flies in Clapwald's face,


Clapwald:  "OH FUCK, I CAN'T SEE THROUGH ALL THESE LOCKED TOPICS!" in the chaos he accidentally steps on Ayaeenie, squishing her organs out.


Clapwald:  "Hmm, organs, I've always wanted to collect organs!"  he gathers up her organs and tosses them in his duffel bag.  Rick-Daisy comes running by trying to catch the newleaffan in her book, killing this burden once and for all.


Clapwald:  "Does she have organs?  Not sure, wouldn't hurt to check sometime."


Rick-Daisy:  "Gotcha!" she slams the book on newleaffan, murdering him.


Clapwald:  "Hey Rick-Daisy how ya doin."


Rick-Daisy: "Hiya Clapwald!"  they do their secret handshake,  "I'm working on my little kids collection, wanna see?"


Clapwald:  "I'd love to!"


Rick-Daisy turns the page and shows him her ACS leaf, "This one is spiky and fat." and she goes on and on for hours showing these stupid leaves.  "And this last one is round and big, it reminds me of you Clapwald!"


Clapwald:  "What did you say bitch?  I fuckin kill you!"  he takes her book and bashes her over the flower with it.  She falls on the pavement, motionless.  Clapwald pulls out his hunting knife and starts hacking into her stem, ripping out some plant stuff.  He throws it in his duffel bag and goes about his day.  While he is wondering the streets of Big Titty, he sees those stupid clouds again.


Clapwald:  "Man these things sure are awful.  Now what in the hell is that vibrating noise?!"  he steps behind his apartment building and sees Wumbo hanging up and drying some of his collection.


Clapwald:  "Hi Wumbo!  Uh, what are you doing?"


Wumbo:  "Well you see buddy boy, I'm drying my dildos.  They had a rough night yesterday."


Clapwald:  "Dildo collection?  I didn't know you collected dildos!"


Wumbo:  "Dude, you collect dildos too, I showed you them on the first episode you retard."


Clapwald:  "Well, they're looking marvelous," he reaches in to touch one of them.


Wumbo:  "NO, no touchey."


Clapwald:  "Sorry Wumbo, but...I have a new collection to add to,"  Clapwald grabs one of the larger dildos and plunges it into Wumbo's stomach.  Wumbo falls to his knees, holding the dildo.  He looks up at Clapwald.


Wumbo:  "Why buddy boy, why?"


Clapwald:  "You will be the centerpiece of my collection, friend."  he pulls the dildo out and watches as Wumbo's organs spill out on the grass.  Clapwald gathers up the loose organs and stores them away.  He takes the back entrance of his apartment and throws his bag down on the floor.


Clapwald:  "This was a rough day, killing people and all."  he then proceeds to break into song.  Clapwald leans on his window seal and sees those damned clouds again.  "I've got it!  I murder these stupid fucking clouds for their organs! HAHAHA!"  he laughs like a maniac and heads to the roof of his apartment.  "Come here cloudy cloudy cloudy!"  he reaches on his tippy tentacles, but can't seem to reach.  He heads back into his apartment and grabs a ladder.  He sets it up, and climbs to the top.  "Just a little more!  WHOA!" the ladder tips over and Clapwald falls to the street below, his body exploding on impact, organs draping the street lights and the cars.


Rod Serling steps out of one of the cars,


Rod:  "A crazed octopus murdering people for his organ collection.  His mind, lost, his soul, still intact.  The cruel irony of his organs being ripped out themselves.  This irony comes straight out of, The Twilight Zone.

 

 

[Webizoid]

Someone give this woman an Emmy.

[OWM]

Holy gawd, you're making more of these.

[Aya♥]

Holy gawd, you're making more of these.

I will until I can't find anymore episodes to do

[Webizoid]

I will until I can't find anymore episodes to do

 

Oh, I thought you would then just make up shit, lol.

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 17: Ball of Shit

 

The scene opens to Clapwald's apartment, where a ball of shit is bouncing on his floor.  It is revealed that Ayaeenie was the one that was bouncing it.  She jumps on top of it and rides.


Ayaeenie:  "What the fuck am I doing with my life?"  she jumps off of it and flips it in the air with her hotdog body.  She catches it and spins it on her nose like a basketball.  Clapwald looks on in disgust,


Clapwald:  "I took a week long hiatus, just to see this?"


Ayaeenie:  "Damn right."


Clapwald:  "Guess I better break out into song and play on the piano."  just before he could pull a Disney, Ayaeenie launches the shit onto his piano, leaving stains on his keys.


Clapwald:  "PIECE OF SHIT!"  he throws it out of the apartment.  The shit gets unraveled and rolls down the building.


Ayaeenie:  "That was my only toy, now I'm gonna get bored.  You better help me get it."


Clapwald:  "Let's do this Ayaeenie,  HEY SHIT, STOP!"  The scene cuts to a shot of the apartment from the outside.  SSJ, the gingerbread man, opens the door and the shit comes bouncing out and goes down the street.


Clapwald:  "Sir, did you see a piece of shit come bouncing past here?"


SSJ:  "Moo."  he points to the right of the street,


Clapwald:  "Uhh, thanks?  Come on Ayaeenie, let's get that shit!"  the two runs down the street, following it's trail.  They eventually get sight of the ball of excrement,


Clapwald:  "STOP THAT SHIT!"  the shit bounces continuously until it hits Steel in the face, covering his already brown skin in more brownness.  The shit bounces and tangles itself onto his long nose,


Steel:  "oops."


Clapwald:  "Steel, did you see some shit?"


Ayaeenie:  "And some stuff?"


Steel:  "It went that way Clapwald.  Would you look at that, this stringy shit got tangled on my nose."


Clapwald:  "Don't worry Steel, we'll be right back to get the shit off of you."  Steve stands there in absolute disgust as he watches his so called friends leave him to get some shit.


Clapwald and Ayaeenie continue to try and catch what seems like the longest ball of shit in the world.  The shit eventually catches to Rick-Daisy, who is riding a unicycle.  The shit get caught in the wheel and causes her to lose her balance and fall face first in the street.  A passing car runs her flower head over, causing petals to fly everywhere.


Clapwald:  "No time for mourning, we need to catch that shit!"  he then finally breaks out into song, which is garbage, so garbage that it makes Ayaeenie temporarily deaf.  While he is singing, it shows that the ball of shit had pretty much covered most of Big Titty.


Clapwald: "Look Ayaeenie, thar she blows!"  the shitball eventually stops onto a manhole cover, but another fucking ginger lifts up the lid and closes it.  What a bastard.  This also causes Clapwald to trip and fall smack dab on his head.  His head starts to pour out blood, making him look like Ric Flair.  He staggers to his fit, but the manhole gets flipped up again and lands directly on his skull.  He collapses to the street in a pool of his own blood.


Ayaeenie:  "I don't need him, I can get that shit myself."  Ayaeenie gives chase to the shit, but the shit crosses the street.  Ayaeenie runs across the street after looking back and forth only once and gets ran over by 3 cars.  The shit stops when it hits the curb.  The camera pans to the man who was driving the third car, and it is revealed that is was Rod Sterling,


Rod Sterling:  "A simple lessons everyone human learns, thrown out the window.  The small hotdog displayed what not to do at a crosswalk, she did not look both ways 3 times before crossing the street.  Let this be a lesson to all of you, unless you are in, The Twilight Zone."
 

[Aya♥]

please reopen this

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 18: The Naughty Pussy

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald and Ayaeenie walking the streets of Big Titty.  Clapwald tips his 1920's goofy cap to the people walking by.  Ayaeenie shakes her head in disgust.  They stop at JJs Barber Shop for Children,

 

Clapwald:  "Hello JJs, hello uh...Robot man."


Robot man:  "The names Dougie Williams, and this is my cat, Harria."


JJs:  "Sup Clapwald, wanna come inside and dine- I mean, get a trim?"


Ayaeenie barks at Harria, but she gets sassed by the cat and gets her nose cut off by her metallic claws.


Clapwald:  "What the fuck did you just do to my dog."


Harria:  "Racist."


JJs:  "Well, Dougie here needs someone to watch his cat while I give him a "buff and shine".  I don't allow cats in my store, they're gay."


Clapwald:  "Not even an evil, demonic robo cat like Harria?  You'd love her!"


JJs:  "Shut up and take the damn cat."


Ayaeenie:  "That bitch cut my nose off!"


JJs:  "The dog's got a point Clapwald."


Clapwald:  "Never underestimate the power of this blue octopus!"  Clapwald takes Harria and the three head off for the park.


Clapwald:  "You're such a cut little kitty aren't you."


Harria:    Harria starts to run, and doesn't even look both ways before crossing the street.


Clapwald:  "BITCH YOU COULD HAVE KILLED US."


Harria runs into the park and sits on a bench.


Calpwald:  "Hold up....lemme...catch my breath."  Clapwald sits his lard-ass down on the bench next to Harria.  Ayaeenie hops up to, only to see Harria give her the death stare.


Ayaeenie:  "This bitch is askin for it."


CNFbert and Omair roll up on their tandem bike.

 

 

CNFbert:  "Ah, good day Clapwald!"


Omair:  "Yes, yes, good day indeed!"


Clapwald:  "Look at this pussy."  Clapwald drops Harria onto the eggs, and squishes them.


Harria:  "Bitch, I should cut yo ass."   Harria removes the leash she had on and leaves.


Ayaeenie:  "Somebody stop that cunt!"  Clapwald looks and sees Harria crossing the street without looking both ways again.


Clapwald:  "NOOO!"  but it was too late.  Her body was crushed by an oncoming semi, her metallic body turned into shreds.


Clapwald:  "Oh fuck Ayaeenie, Dougie is gonna kill me."


Ayaeenie:  "Bitch deserved it."


Clapwald:  "I know who can help!"


The scene flips over to show Clapwald's Apartment building,


Wumbo:  "Well, she is most defiantly dead."  the studio audience applause for the comedic relief.


Clapwald:  "Isn't there anything you can do?"


Wumbo:  "Well buddy of mine, I could cast an evil spell on her and bring her back to life, but with consequences.  You know the old shtick."

 

 

Clapwald:  "Yeah, just do anything, Dougie looked like a mean robot."


Wumbo:  "Well, here we go."  Wumbo drags out his cocking chair and sits down in it.  His eyes roll up in the back of his head and he starts chanting in Latin.  The whole room starts to glow an devilish red.


Ayaeenie:  "Oh fuck me!"  she jumps out of the window to end this horror.  Wumbo continues to chant, and after about a minute, everything goes back to normal.


Wumbo:  "Now buddy boy, she should be back to lif-"  but before he could finish his sentence, a claw came jutting through his chest.


Wumbo:  "Oh dear..."  Clapwald looks behind Wumbo to see Harria, who has now grown to 3 times her size, sticking her paw through Wumbo.


Wumbo:  "Wrong spell..."  the cat rips Wumbo in half, and sets her sights on Clapwald.


Harria:  "Target acquired."


Clapwald:  "AHHH!"  Clapwald ran out of the apartment, lasers hitting the door behind him.  He rushed down the street until he reached JJs shop.


Dougie:  "Oh good Clapwald, you're back.  Say, where's Harria?"


Clapwald:  "KILLER, GIANT ROBOT, HELP!"


JJs:  "It was the small cat, that he gave you earlier today dude.  It isn't-"  JJs was then evaporated by a laser shot from Harria's eyes.


Dougie:  "Harria, where have you been young lady?"  Harria then eats Dougie for a little snack.


Harria:  "Where are you my little octopus friend?!"  Clapwald jumps out of JJs shop,


Clapwald:  "Right here bitch."  he pulls out Wumbo Triple X Dildo he took just before running out of his house.  He swung it with all his might and decapitated the giant robot.  Clapwald dropped the dildo and surveyed the scene,


Clapwald:  "I guess you could say, I stopped this giant purrpatrator."


Rod Sterling shaked his head in disapproval.