Clapwald

[Old Man Jenkins]

JJS IS THE EATER OF WORLDS!

[sbl]

"Your silly."

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 7: The Big Dick

 

The scene opens up at night time and pans in on Clapwald's apartment.  Clapwald is opening up a packet of dick seeds

Clapwald:  "Gee Ayaeenie, I can't wait til these grow up to be big, veiny dick plant, so we can have fresh dicks, so we can have dicks everyday!"

Ayaeenie:  "Hell ya."

Clapwald waters the dicks seeds with his special seman concocktion.

Clapwald (still pouring):  "Well, I guess a little more seman won't hurt."

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!", she pushes the lamp light onto the dick pot

Clapwald:  "Good idea gurl, dicks need lots of sunlight!  Welp, time to hit the hay."  The two head for their beds, while the camera stays with the dick seeds, and a little sprout pops out of the dirt.

The Next Day

Clapwald and Ayaeenie wake up to Big Titty's Alarm Clock, and proceed to check on their Dick Plant, but Clapwald can't seem to get his door all the way open.

Ayaeenie:  "Yo, this is a huge dick!"

Clapwald eventually shoves his door in and gazes upon the massive penis.

Clapwald:  "Wow!  We grew a big dick!  Ahahaha!"  Clapwald peels the huge dick, and starts collecting the inside goodies.  "How about some big dick for breakfast?"  Clapwald prepares his dick filled breakfast for him and Ayaeenie by cutting a piece of the cock into pieces and spreading them out on their cereal.

Clapwald:  "Here ya go gurl, our sacrifice has brought us many meals."

The two munch away on their dick cereal before returning to the massive meat.  They eat more and more dick, until their stomachs just couldn't take it anymore!

Clapwald:  "Oh dude, I don't feel so good."

Ayaeenie:  "Arrf.."

Clapwald:  "What will we do with the rest of the giant dick?"  Clapwald hears his doorbell ring and answers it.  "Good morning Wumbo."

Wumbo:  "Good morning Clapwald, may I trouble you for some hook...I mean blueberries for my vagina cakes?"

Clapwald:  "Gee Wumbo, I'm fresh out of blueberries, but I do have a lot of dick."

Wumbo:  "Big dick eh?"

Clapwald:  "Help yourself."

Wumbo takes a bite out of the dick,  "My my Clapwald, this is a tasty burger.  But it is making me feel...a little..."  Wumbo looks over and sees that Clapwald and Ayaeenie have put on some cult uniforms.  Wumbo falls to the ground, weak from the big dick he had taken a bite of.  Clapwald grabs Wumbo and rips him in half, and starts feasting on his innards.

Clapwald:  "We must share this poisoned dick, with everybody...We'll call it...Big Dick Day."

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Clapwald carries the big dick down the apartment and through the street, still wearing his bloody cult uniform.  He is then stopped by the egg twins

CNFbert:  "Good morning Clapwald."

Omair:  "Yes, yes!  Good!"

Clapwald:  "Sup...eggs."

CNFbert:  "Why are you ever so looking at us like that Clapwald?"

Omair:  "Yes, yes!  Why?!"

Clapwald grabs the two eggs and smashes them together, killing them instantly.

Clapwald:  "Come on Ayaeenie, we've got to get this to the diner before I kill everyone!"

The two walk for awhile before the eventually reach the diner.

Clapwald:  "Good morning Madam Saucey and Charina."

Saucey:  "My stars Clapwald, that is a huge dick you've got there!  Why do you have that huge dick anyway?"

Clapwald:  "Oh, it's Big Dick Day, and I figured, what better way than to celebrate it here, at the diner."

Saucey:  "Well, that's a wonderful idea, considering we have no customers today."

Clapwald:  "Good, good, very good."  Clapwald sets the big dick in the middle of the diner, and draws a pentagram around it with the yoke of the egg twins.

Saucey:  "This is very odd..."

Charina:  "Goo goo..."

Clapwald:  "I will need the youngest child, Charina."  Clapwald walks over and puts the larva in the big dick.

Ayaeenie:  "IT'S RITUAL TIME!"

Saucey:  "What are you doing to my baby?!"

Clapwald:  "Sacrifice Madam."  Clapwald gets up, and snaps Saucey's neck.

Clapwald:  "Ready gurl?"  Clapwald lights a match he had in his cartoon pocket, and threw it on Charina and the big dick.  Both we're engulfed in the blaze, while Clapwald and Ayaeenie were chanting about the devil in Latin.  The gate to Hell opened and sucked the entire diner down into it, making the ultimate sacrifice for their Dick Cult.

Rod Serling steps out of a parked car just outside of where the diner once stood.

Rod:  "A cult lead by an Octopus and Hotdog.  But were they the real leaders?  Or were they being mind controlled by the Devil's Dick Seeds.  These seeds didn't originate from Big Titty, they originated from, The Twilight Zone."

[Old Man Jenkins]

4/10 would Big Dick Johnson

[sbl]

no mee

[Aya♥]

Clapwald
Episode 8: The Rap Parade

 

The scene starts with a panning in of Clapwald's apartments.  Ayaeenie is already up, playing with a ball.

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Clapwald:  "QUIET YOU MANGY MUTT!  Wait a minute...do you hear that music gurl?"

Ayaeenie:  "MAN, DAS TUPAC AND BIGGIE!"

The two rushes to their window to catch this once in a 90's time to catch this event.

Clapwald:  "Oh my gosh!  It's really them!  There must be rap parade in Big Titty!  Oh boy, I love parades!  The rapping bands, and the tits, and the jugglers!"

Ayaeenie:  "Ruf!  Arf!"

Clapwald:  "Let's go get Rick-Daisy and Wumbo, they won't want to miss this!"  The two rush towards Wumbo's apartment.  He knocks on the door in anticipation.

Wumbo:  "Hello Clapwald."

Clapwald:  "Hey Wumbo...Why are you wearing an apron?  Anyway, we're going to the Tupac and Biggie parade, Cum on!"

Wumbo:  "Hmm, nope.  I don't think so Clapwald.  I don't like rap, too black.  Besides, I'm busy polishing my dildo collection."

Clapwald:  "But listen Wumbo, it's Tupac and Biggie!  You're also gonna miss the cummers!"

Wumbo:  "Shut the fuck up, put my fruit down, and let me clean my dildos."

Clapwald:  "But you're going to miss the Grand Marshall!"

Wumbo:  "The Grand Marshall you say?"

Clapwald:  "He leads the whole parade!  He tips his dick, waves his tits, and he's VERY important."

Wumbo:  "Hmm, I'd like to see those tits."

Clapwald:  "Ok then, let's go!"

Wumbo:  "Wait a minute Clapwald, if I'm going to a parade, I need to bring along a few things."  Wumbo walks to his closet and brings out his favorite Bray Wyatt hat and throws it on.

Wumbo: "I'm going to need this hat, and this cocking chair, and my Hawaiian shirt."

Clapwald:  "Yo Ayaeenie, the beats are getting closer!"

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

The two look over at Wumbo,

Wumbo:  "I'm here.  Plus, I need my dickglasses, this cumbrella, these bicockulars, and uh, what am I missing...Ah!  My porno mags."  Wumbo collects his goodies in a knapsack and signals that he is ready to go.  The three rush out of their building and start off down the street.  The three reach Rick-Daisy's house and see her bouncing up and down in the backyard.

Rick-Daisy:  "196!  197!  198, 199, 200!  Howdy Clapwald, Howdy Wumbo!"

Clapwald:  "Why are you counting Rick-Daisy?"

Rick-Daisy:  "I'm going for a new dildo trampoline record!  200 straight bounces!"

Clapwald:  "Want to see Tupac and Biggie with us Rick-Daisy?"

Rick-Daisy:  "Shut the fuck up, can't you see I'm busy you fucking octopus?  Leave me be!"

Clapwald:  "Fine, guess you live this episode."

The trio keep walking until the can hear Tupac and Biggie louder, and louder by every step!

Clapwald:  "Listen...it sounds like it's on Dick Street!"

The parade gets closer, the rap lyrics get louder.

Wumbo:  "I think I'll set my cocking chair right here."  he sits down and cocks back and forth.

Clapwald:  "Here it comes!  The Rap Parade!"

Steel walks around the corner carrying a boombox, listening to Tupac.

Clapwald:  "What the fuck is the idiot doing?"

Steel:  "Hey how are ya."

Wumbo:  "I want to see the fucking Grand Marshall and I get this shit, get out of my face."

Steel:  "Fine dude."  Steel turns off his radio and no rap is heard.

Clapwald:  "Fuck, we we're all hearing that stupid radio."  Clapwald punches Steel, breaking some of his branches off.

Steel:  "No again man.  Welp anyway, gotta split and roll up a fat one."

Wumbo:  "I could be polishing my dildios right now."

Clapwald:  "Sorry guys, I thought it was a real rap parade."

Wumbo:  "Fuck you."  Wumbo packs up his shit, and leaves.

Clapwald:  "I fucked up Ayaeenie, Tupac and Biggie are dead anyway."

Ayaeenie:  "Not if you know how to raise the dead, like me.  Come, let's go to the Big Cemetery and find them."

The two trek off to Big Titty's Cemetery, they eventually reach the two's graves, and prep the witchcraft shit.

Ayaeenie starts chanting things in an ancient language, the clouds darken, blood rain starts to pour, and two strands of lighting strike the dirt to which they lay beneath.  The dirt starts to rattle, and 4 hands burst from their graves.  The two undead rappers resurface, rotting, and mostly skelekton.

Clapwald:  "Can I have your autographs?"

Tupac grabs Clapwald by the head and starts biting away, nearly killing him instantly, while Biggie grabs Ayaeenie and eats her whole.

Rod Serling steps out of an uncovered grave and stands behind the two zombies.

Rod:  "Two friends use witchcraft to make the perfect parade for their friends, but instead they unleashed an unspeakable evil upon the residents of Big Titty.  This may seem like something out of a Hollywood movie, but it's actually out of, The Twilight Zone."
 

[Old Man Jenkins]

I think I have a favorite episode now.

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 9: Hide and Go Die

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald and Ayaeenie sitting on a park bench just outside the Big Titties Park.

Ayaeenie:  "Bow wow."

Clapwald:  "Hey!  Shut the fuck up.  Let's play a game.  How about...Hide and Go Die?"

Ayaeenie:  "Hell nah dawg."

Clapwald:  "I'll hide first gurl, here I go!"  Clapwald runs off like a kid with a mental condition.

Clapwald:  "Cover your eyes bitch."

Ayaeenie:  "Man, fuck you."

Clapwald takes 4 steps into the park and hides behind the first tree since he obviously has never played this game before.  "Ok!  Come and kill me!"

Ayaeenie:  "Man fuck yo couch."  she hops up on the bench and falls asleep.

Clapwald:  "Ayaeenie!  Come out and plaaaaay!"

Ayaeenie:  "Another Dean dream."  Ayaeenie gets up and rushes into the park and instantly spots him.

Clapwald:  "Aww, you found me!  Think fast!"  Clapwald throws a knife into Ayaeenie's body, injuring her.  "Gotta be faster than that in the game of Hide and Go Die gurl!"

Ayaeenie:  "Fuck you man."

Clapwald:  "Now it's your turn, you hide, and I'll KILL YA, SKIN YA ALIVE."

Clapwald starts to count while Ayaeenie hops over a bush and hides like a genius.  Johnny Jenkman pulls up in his Asscream Truck to serve some of the peeps on the street.

Jenkman:  "Hey Ayaeenie bu."

Ayaeenie:  "Man, I ain't letting this bastard kill me, I'll hide under Jenkman's seat!"  Ayaeenie runs over and hops into the Asscream Truck.  "Might as well take a nap."  she falls asleep.

Clapwald:  "Alright gurl,"  he pulls out a knife, "Here I come!"  Clapwald searches around for awhile but can't find her!  All this is happening while Jenkman drives away with Ayaeenie in his truck.

Clapwald:  "Where did that bitch go?  I give up!  Come out, and I'll let ya kill me!"  Clapwald crosses the street in search for his lost dog.  He spots something that resembles Ayaeenie, and pulls out his Butcher's Knife.  "I found ya!"  he stabs into what he thought was his dog, but a balloon that Rick-Daisy was holding, in this process, the knife also went into Rick-Daisy's stem, killing her quickly.  "Oops.  Hmm, maybe I should check the playground."  he rips the knife out of her and continues to stroll along to his destination.

Clapwald:  "Damn it, she's not here."  Clapwald looks over at another bench and sees another thing that resembles his dog.  "Better not stab first this time."  He walks up to the bench and surprises what he thought was his dog, but Wumbo taking a nap on the park bench.

Wumbo:  "I'll have you know Clapwald, if you try that agayn, I will break your neck in two seconds."

Clapwald:  "I'm sorry Wumbo, I can't find Ayaeenie, We were playing Hide and Go Die.  She must be around here somewhere."

Wumbo:  "Have you tried the Big Titty Diner?"

Clapwald:  "That is a terrible idea!  Let's try it."

Wumbo gets up, and puts on his Bray Wyatt hat and folds up his asscape.  The two trek towards the diner where Ayaeenie could be!

Wumbo:  "Come on out dog, We have a treat for you."

Saucey:  "Shut the fuck up, Charina is sleeping.  Where the hell is your dog, Clapwald?"

Clapwald:  "We were playing Hide and Go Die, and I just can't find her."

Saucey:  "Oh dear, well I haven't seen a lick of her, so just get out, before I slap the alls yall."

Clapwald:  "There she is!"  he points at what looks like her tail wagging in the diner."  He rushes in, knife a blazin, but instead makes contact with Omair's egghead, cracking him open.

CNFbert:  "Why hello Clapwald, I see that you've killed my twin brother again."

Omair:  "Yes....yes"

Clapwald:  "I thought your baton was her tail...By any chance you've seen her?"

CNFbert:  "Check your apartment dude."

Clapwald:  "Thanks buddy!"  he slaps his back, cracking him in half.  "Come on Wumbo, we're going to our apartment building to find this bitch and kill her once and for all."

The two rush to Clapwald's apartment, tearing it apart, looking for his dog.

Wumbo:  "Nope, nothing."

Clapwald looks strangely at Wumbo, examining him.

Wumbo:  "Why on Earth are you looking at me like that, is it the hat?  Is it crooked?"

Clapwald:  "You...you know where she is, and won't tell me man..."  Clapwald pulls out the knife and puts it to Wumbo's throat.

Wumbo:  "I don't know anything about your dog buddy."

Clapwald:  "I KNOW YOU KNOW, AND YOU ARE LYING TO ME, MY BEST FRIEND, LYING?  I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU THE FIRST RULE OF HIDE AND GO DIE, KILL THE OPPONENT, AND YOU ARE MY OPPONENT!"  Clapwald rams the knife into Wumbo's neck, nearly severing his spine with the amount of force exerted.  Clapwald let's go of the knife, and falls to the floor.  Her curls up into the fetal position and rocks back and forth.

Clapwald:  "What...have I done..."

Rod Sterling steps out of Clapwald's fridge.

Rod:  "An octopus hellbent on finding and killing his own dog, only to succumb to the pressures of his own mind, and the truth.  This isn't the normal functions of a person's mind in his world, but it's normal in, The Twilight Zone."
 

[Old Man Jenkins]

I was expecting him to look both ways three times before crossing the street.

[Wumbo]

I love reading all my lines in Henry's voice.

[Aya♥]

Clapwald
Episode 10: The Camping Trip

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald's apartment.

Clapwald:  "Look Ayaeenie, it's a drugtastic day for our camping trip!  Let's get ready."  Clapwald walks over and opens up his closet.  He grabs a small baggie and puts it in his cartoon pocket,  "These are the drugs we're using tonight gurl!"  Clapwald then breaks out into song while gathering a tent, a body bag, dickmallows, a fleshlight, and Ayaeenie's bone.

Ayaeenie:  "Yo dawg, that's mine!"

Clapwald:  "I sure do love drug trips.  Hup two, hup two..."  Clapwald continues to march as if he was in the fucking military.

Ayaeenie:  "Nugga you cray."

Clapwald:  "Hup twp, hup two, we are druggies through and through!"

The two march until they reach their best friend Wumbo's apartment.

Clapwald:  "Hup two, three, four, here we are on Wumbo's floor."

Wumbo:  "Shut up you 8 legged FREAK."

Clapwald:  "Are you ready to go camping Wumbo?"

Wumbo:  "I don't know Clapwald...looks like it might...RAIN."

Clapwald:  "Look dumbass, there is only one tiny black cloud in the sky.  It's not gonna rain.  It's bright and Sunny outside!"

Wumbo:  "Oh sure, now it is, but the weather could change quickly."

Clapwald:  "Come on pussy, we're going to PITCH A TENT, and have a campfire, and toast lots of dickmallows!"

Wumbo:  "Dickmallows you say? Yum.  Just give me a few minutes to pack."

Clapwald:  "Ok, meet you outside!"  Clapwald and Ayaeenie march to the outside of their building in wait of Wumbo, where they spot their other friend, Rick-Daisy.

Rick-Daisy:  "Hey campariroonies!  Ready for the worst day ever?"

Clapwald:  "Ready!"

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Wumbo walks out wearing full on rain gear, and a whole lot of shit in his knapsack.

Clapwald:  "What is this shit."

Wumbo:  "Justin Case it rains.  I don't like it when my dildos get wet."

Rick-Daisy (laughing):  "Golly Tamale!  It's not gonna rain."

Wumbo:  "I don't understand your illegal speak, so I will ignore you for now."

Clapwald:  "Ready campers?!  Let's march!"

Wumbo:  "Not this shit again."

The four march until the reach the end of the street.  Clapwald and gang look both ways THREE times before crossing the street.  The four eventually reach the dagum park, when Wumbo plops his fat ass down on the ground at the entrance!

Wumbo:  "Yep, a fine spot for me."  he whips out his Playboy and starts reading.

Clapwald:  "Here?  We're barley even in the park."

Wumbo:  "Exactly, now if it rains we can get home in a jiffy."

Clapwald:  "Too much shit happening here at the entrance dude.  We want to camp somewhere, away from the folks of Big Titty."

Rick-Daisy:  "Come on, I know the perfect spot!"

Wumbo:  "Nope, not getting out of this chair."

Clapwald:  "Dickmallows, Wumbo."

Wumbo looks at his mag, and then the bag of dickmallows,  "Oh alright."

The four start their march again, this time, Rick-Daisy leading them to their death her special spot.

Rick-Daisy:  "There it is, that hill!"

Wumbo:  "Isn't that a little too high, what if it rains, every drop will hit us first!"

Rick-Daisy and Clapwald together:  "It's not going to rain you fucking cunt."

They eventually make it up the mountainous hill, but Wumbo stops and spots Nuggets near the middle of the hill.

Wumbo:  "Those fucking bastards always making me feel bad, amirght?"

Nuggets goes into his shell, ignoring Wumbo.

Wumbo:  "Stupid turtle."  he kicks Nuggets down the hill.

Clapwald:  "Look, you can see all of Big Titty!"

Rick-Daisy:  "This is ugly!"

Rick-Daisy and Clapwald start to pitch the tent while Wumbo slowly makes his climb.

Wumbo:  "I shouldn't have kicked that turtle, he looked very angry."

Clapwald:  "Come on Wumbo, we're pitching the tent, and everybody pitches in."

Wumbo:  "Let me unpack my things first."  he pulls out a cocking chair, Bray Wyatt hat, swim trunks, goggles, a haywian shirt, and a hair dryer.

Everything was fine, until the first droplet of cum hits Clapwald in the head.

Clapwald:  "Uhm, oh no, I think it's starting to rain."

Wumbo:  "AHA!  RAIN, I TOLD YOU SUCKAS.  I knew this stuff would come in handy!"  his haywian shirt then blows away in the wind,  "My favorite shirt!"  his cocking chair then blows away, "MY COCKING CHAIR!"  Wumbo then puts on his Bray Wyatt hat, "Ahh...", but again, the gust takes it away, "MY HAT!"  Wumbo then breaks down in tears.  "At least I still have... you guys"  he grabs is Playboy and flips out the centerfold, but that to blows in the wind.  "NOOOOOOO!"

Clapwald:  "Quickly Wumbo, under the tent!"  The four huddle under the tent, safe from the rain.

Wumbo:  "I've lost everything..."

Clapwald:  "It's ok Wumbo, I brought something that will make it all better,"  he whips out his little baggie of LSD Blotter Paper, the art is in the design of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  "This is the shit."  each of them take a section and put it in their mouth.  Their trip almost kicks in instantly.

Many hours later...

After having the worst trips of their lives, they decided to hit the sack-a-roo and go to bed.  As they were sleeping, the tent was slashed open by a knife.

Clapwald:  "Huh?"  before he managed to say anything else, his throat was slit.  Clapwald fell to the dirt, holding his throat, crushing his dog in the process.

Rick-Daisy:  "Golly Tamale!  You killed Clapwald!"  Rick-Daisy was then stabbed in the face, killing her instantly.

Wumbo:  "No...I kicked you off the hill!  NO!"  the camera pans out, as you see blood splatter the inside of the tent.

Rod Sterling steps out from behind a tree.

Rod:  "Revenge is a dish best served...slowly.  A turtle wielding a knife in the real world is farfetched, but it's far from in, The Twilight Zone."


 

[Old Man Jenkins]

It's good to see them finally use proper street safety smarts.

[sbl]

Rick-Daisy and Clapwald together:  "It's not going to rain you fucking cunt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm so happy i'm in here.

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 11:  Fixing The Piano

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald playing is piano.

 

Ayaeenie:  "Lord kill me, you are awful."

While Clapwald is playing, one of his keys gets messed up.

Clapwald:  "Fuck.  This piano key, is WAY off key."  he continues hitting that same key

 

Ayaeenie:  "DAMN MAN, STOP YO SHIT IS BROKEN."

Clapwald then begins to play a song and sing like he has a mental illness.

Ayaeenie:  "FUCK THIS SHIT!"  she jumps out of the nearest window and dies.

Clapwald hears his doorbell ring, and goes to see who's at the door.

Clapwald:  "Hello Wumbo!"

Wumbo:  "Clapwald I am trying to take a nap.  STOP PLAYING THAT FUCKING PIANO, IT'S BROKEN."

Clapwald:  "I don't think it's feeling well."

Wumbo:  "YOU WON'T BE FEELING WELL IF YOU KEEP PLAYING THAT BEAST!"

Clapwald and Wumbo walk over to inspect it.  Clapwald plays that same broken key over and over again.

Wumbo:  "DUDE!"

Clapwald:  "I better take it to the piano doctor."

Wumbo:  "I'll take you to the doctor!"

Clapwald:  "I bet  Kevin could fix it!"

Wumbo:  "Not a bad idea, I'll help ya push it there."

The two get to the side of it and push with all their might, but to no avail.

Clapwald:  "It's too hard to push.  Oh, I know!"  Clapwald walks over to his closet,  "I know they're in here somewhere...This should do it!"  Clapwald pulls out 4 dildos.

Wumbo:  "What are you going to do with those?"

Clapwald:  "Lift up the piano please."  Wumbo lifts up one side of the piano, as Clapwald places the dildos under the piano.

Wumbo:  "Is this some sick joke?"

Clapwald:  "You obviously haven't seen the extra feature to these babies!"  Clapwald grabs a remote, and presses a big red button to make little, tiny wheels pop out of the dildos.

Wumbo:  "Ahh, good idea pal!"

Clapwald and Wumbo begin to push the piano out of his apartment, and carefully down the stairs, and finally out of the building next to Ayaeenie's dead body.

Wumbo:  "Woo, I'm beat buddy, I need that nap."

Clapwald:  "It's ok, I can take it from here."

Wumbo:  "Well, good luck buddy boy,  I hope you trash that piece of garbage"

Clapwald:  "Thanks Wumbo, I hope it does too.  Alright, time to go to the piano doctor!"  Clapwald gets really close and starts making out with his piano,  "You'll be better soon."  Clapwald begins his long trek to the piano doctor when he first runs into Saucey Butterfly trying to calm down a crying Charina.

Clapwald:  "What's she whining about?"

Saucey:  "I've tried everything to get her balloon from out of that tree, but I can't untangle it!"

Clapwald:  "Sucks to be you guys!"  Clapwald doesn't noticed that Charina's stroller is in front of the piano, and runs her over.

Saucey:  "MY BABY!"

Clapwald  keeps walking, and then runs into Steel Tree.

Clapwald:  "Sup mang."

Steel:  "Oh hey Clapwald, nice hunk of wood ya got there   Taking your piano for a walk?"

Clapwald looks at him confused and walks away,  "Dumbass.  The key is broken, listen."  he plays that awful note over and over again.

Steel:  "MY EARS!"  his ears starts to bleed, and he falls face first on the pavement, blood splattering everywhere.

Clapwald:  "Better get this to the doctor, and fast."  Clapwald pushes on, faster by the minute, just trying to get to that damned doctor.  Rick-Daisy is riding a unicycle in the middle of the street, but Clapwald just runs her over,  "No offensive Rick-Daisy!"  After all that, he finally makes it to Kevin Bunny's shop.

Kevin:  "Hello Clapwald."

Clapwald:  "Hey Kevin, my piano needs your help, listen."  Clapwald plays that dreaded key again.

Kevin stares at the piano, taking his glasses off slowly,  "Yep, you've got yourself a possessed piano."  Kevin walks to the back of his shop, and brings out a Bible, a bottle of Holy Water, and his Christian Church robes.  "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU"  the piano starts playing satanic music as the wood starts to bleed blood.  Kevin repeats his actions until the demon is released.

Clapwald:  "Hey mister Demon!"  The demon then possess Clapwald.  He starts chanting in Latin, and grabs a flute.

Kevin:  "You don't want to do th.."  before he could say more, Clapwald stuffed the flute down his throat, blocking his airways.  Clapwald bursts out of the store and starts going on a rampage through Big Titty.

Rod Sterling pops up from behind the counter

Rod:  "A possessed piano killing people after people until it was finally released, only to control our lovely blue octopus.  A normal day?  No, but it is, in The Twilight Zone."
 

[Old Man Jenkins]

YOUR MOTHER PLAYS THE FLUTE IN HELL

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 12: Leaky Dick

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald playing that damned piano.

Clapwald:  "Oh Ayaeenie and I...are breast friends forever!"

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Clapwald:  "Cum wind, or snow, or...cum...we always stick together!"

Ayaeenie:  "Das deep man."

Just then, Clapwald and Ayaeenie heard something drip and keep dripping.

Clapwald:  "What the fuck is this shit.  Let's go to the kitchen and find out."  The two head off for the kitchen.  Clapwald examines the room, even looking at the sink filled with water.  He oversees this and turns around, only to hear another drip.  "Hmm.  Oh, it's the damn sink.  Ayaeenie, we have a leaky dick, and it keeps dripping in the sink."

Ayaeenie:  "Wouldn't have guessed."

Clapwald turns the handle to stop the dick from leaking, but it just continues.  Clapwald then tries to twist the dick, but nothing happens!

Clapwald:  "I'M GOING TO NEED MY HANDY DANDY...WRENCH FOR THIS!"  Clapwald opens up the storage closet and pulls out a hammer.

Ayaeenie:  "Fucking dumbass."

Clapwald then pulls out a screwdriver.

Ayaeenie:  "You've got to be shitting me."

Clapwald:  "Oh Ayaeenie, I CAN'T FIND MY WRENCH!"  Clapwald then rips the storage room door off with anger,  "But I have to stop this dripping."  Clapwald stares intensely at the fruit,  "Ah ha!"  Clapwald then grabs a grape and stuffs it on the dick.

Ayaeenie:  "Are you fucking kidding me."  Clapwald looks on with pride at what he had accomplished.

Clapwald:  "Now it's time to find that WRENCH!"  He walks over to the storage room and pulls out a dildo,  "Oops, ah!  Here it is, THE WRENCH!"  Clapwald firmly grasps the WRENCH and walks over to the dick.  Clapwald places the WRENCH onto the dick, and twists it to "fix" it.  "There we go Ayaeenie.  All fixed.  Could you please put my WRENCH away?"

Ayaeenie:  "Fuck you."  Clapwald then throws the wrench at her, cracking her skull.

Clapwald:  "Hmm, what's that noise?  It seems to be coming from under the sink."  he opens up the cabinet, and is sprayed by cum.  "AHH SHIT!"  he covers the leak with one of this tentacles,  "Another leak, great.  My WRENCH is over by my dead dog, damn it."  another leak springs out, and he gets covered in more cum.  "FUCK!"  and then another, and another!  "I really need that WRENCH!"  Clapwald stretches out, and barely gets his hands on it,  "YES!"  just then, a HUGE leak springs out, and drenches Ayaeenie, and the WRENCH in cum, casuing Clapwald's tentacle back,  "Just..a little..more....almost there!"  Just then, the pipes start to break, and an ocean of cum sprays into the kitchen, and all through Clapwald's apartment.  "MY WRENCH!"  there was so much cum, that it flooded the entire building, causing Clapwald to wash up out side on the sidewalk.  "WOAH!"

Clapwald spots his WRENCH going around a street corner.  "Oh no!  Me and my WRENCH have to stick together!"  Clapwald catches up to his WRENCH.  "Ahh, there you are girl."  Just then, Wumbo rides up in his bathtub.

Wumbo:  "Now where's my assbath?"  he then falls down a waterfall,  "FUUUUUCK!"  Clapwald and the WRENCH aren't far behind.

Clapwald:  "Hold on WRENCH, I'll catch you!"  Two dildos come up next to Clapwald,  "I can swim faster with these!"

Clapwald paddles faster with all his might,  "I'm almost there gurl!"  Clapwald finally reaches his WRENCH and embraces it closely.  "Do you ever leave my side again..."  Clapwald and his WRENCH share a passionate kiss together, as they sail on in the ocean of cum.

Rod Sterling rides up behind them on a chair.

Rod:  "An Octopus and a Wrench...in love?  Sounds bizarre in the real world, but it's perfectly normal in, The Twilight Zone."

[Old Man Jenkins]

Better love story than Twilight

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 13: Maxwell Starfish Dead

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald watching his favorite fish, Maxwell Starfish.

Maxwell:  "Hit me with a dicklight, you know I'm gonna shine!...  I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for cumming and being yourself tonight!"

Clapwald:  "Gosh Ayaeenie, isn't Maxwell Starfish the worst?"

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Clapwald:  "I just looovvvveee that guy!"

Clapwald plops his ass down on his piano seat and poorly mimics Maxwell Starfish, temporarily making Ayaeenie deaf.

"Extra, Extra, Read all about it!"  Clapwald looks out his window to see Dylan holding news papers.

Dylan:  "Maxwell Starfish preforming tonight for one night only!  Get your dickets now! ;D"

Clapwald:  "Gasp, Maxwell Starfish!  Come one gurl, let's get in line for tickets!"

Ayaeenie:  "WHAT?!"

Clapwald and Ayaeenie head out the back door of their building, while they do this, Clapwald is seeing Maxwell Starfish tunes.  The two run into Wumbo who is drying his dildos on a clothes line.

Clapwald:  "Hiya Wumbo!"

Wumbo:  "Woah!"  he drops one of his dildos in the grass.  "Oh, hellow fuck face, Ayaeenie.  Where are you two running of to?"

Clapwald:  "Ayaeenie and I are going to see Maxwell Starfish preform tonight!  Say, would you like to cum?"

Wumbo:  "Hmm, this Starfish fella, he isn't black is he?"

Clapwald:  "BLACK?!  Maxwell's the whitest!  Come one Wumbo, let's have a swell time."

Wumbo:  "Alright pal, but I have to finish up here first, can ya wait?"

Clapwald:  "Oh gorsh Wumbo, we're sort of in a hurry.  The show starts soon.  How about I save you a place in line?"

Wumbo, rubbing his forehead with one of his dildos:  "Sounds good buddy boy, I'll see ya there."

Clapwald:  "Ok Wumbo, goodbye."  Clapwald and Ayaeenie continue to march and sing Maxwell's songs.

Clapwald:  "Oh my gosh Ayaeenie, there might not be any dickets left!"

Ayaeenie:  "I'm still deaf in one ear."  The two come to a road, look both ways 3 times, and then finally cross the street, where they see Rick-Daisy spinning around in circles.

Clapwald:  "Is this bitch serious?"

Rick-Daisy:  "56, 57, 58, 59, 60!  Hey Clapwald!  Hey Ayaeenie!  Sup?"

Clapwald:  "We're going to see Maxwell Starfish, wanna cum bitch?"

Rick-Daisy:  "Ring-a-ding ding!  I'd love to!  Maxwell is the coolest of the cool!"

Clapwald:  "Dandy!  Let's go!"

Rick-Daisy:  "Could you wait, I'm spinning."

Clapwald:  "We're in a hurry bitch.  I'll save you a spot in line."

Rick-Daisy:  "See ya there!"

Clapwald:  "Come one Ayaeenie, Let's go!"  The two head until they reach Saucey at The Big Titty Diner.

Saucey:  "Oh hello friends!  Where are you two rushing off to?"

Clapwald:  "Maxwell Starfish is preforming, gotta get dickets, fast, wanna cum?"

Saucey:  "Maxwell Starfish? -moans-  I'd love to go!"

Sex, tapping her shoulder:  "Could I get another raspberry smoothy?"

SSJ:  "I'll have the spaghetti Billy."

Saucey:  "Oh yea, coming right up.  Clapwald, could you wait til I finish up here?"

Clapwald:  "I'll save you a spot in line, see ya, gotta get those dickets!"  The two sprint to the ticket shop, huffing and puffing, but eventually make it to the long ass line.

Clapwald:  "Fuck."

Steel:  "Hi Clapwald."

Bubble Pumkin:  "Hello there Clapwald!"

Steel:  "I can't wait to see Maxwell Starfish!  "Hey hey daddy-o!""

Bubble:  "Me too, he's the cockcoo craziest!"  The four of them laugh.

Wumbo:  "Hey Clapwald."

Clapwald:  "Come one Wumbo!  I saved you a spot in line!"

Wumbo:  "Thank you buddy boy."

Clapwald:  "My pleasure."

Rick-Daisy:  "Howdy hidy ho guys!"

Clapwald:  "Rick-Daisy, you've made it to the end of the episode!"

Rick-Daisy:  "I totally did, thanks Clapwald!"

Saucey:  "Clapwald, you hoo!  Glad you could save a spot in line for me."  The five walk up to Milkmaidman, who is manning the dickets.

Wumbo:  "One."  he gets his dicket, "See you inside buddy boy."

Rick-Daisy:  "One please!"  she gets her's,  "See you inside Clapwald!"

Saucey:  "One please."  she gets her's, "See you inside."

Clapwald:  "Two please!"

Milkmaidman shakes his head, "I'm sorry sir, but I am afraid there are no more dickets."

Clapwald:  "Are you sure?!"

Milkmaidman:  "Ah ha!"  Clapwald gets a big grin on his face, "Found me doughnut, sorry, no dickets."

Clapwald reaches into the dicket booth and starts to strangle Milkmaidman, "If I can't see Maxwell Starfish, no one will."  Clapwald breaks Milkmaidman's neck, and bursts open the door.

Wumbo:  "Hey buddy, where's your dicket?"  Clapwald then punches threw Wumbo's face, killing him.

Rick-Daisy:  "Golly Tamale!  Why did you kill Wumbo, Clapwald?!"

Clapwald:  "He was in my way."  Clapwald storms up on stage and heads to the backstage.

Maxwell Starfish is getting his make-up on, when he sees Clapwald in the mirror.

Maxwell:  "SECRUI..."  before he could say anymore, Clapwald grabs him by the face, and drags him out on the stage.

The crowd starts to scream, and gasp, running for the door, but are stopped by Ayaeenie holding a gat.

Clapwald:  "If anyone makes any sudden movements, the star fish gets it."  Clapwald pulls out a pistol and sticks it to Maxwell's head.

Saucey:  "I'm calling the police!"

Clapwald:  "Fuck the police!"  Clapwald shoots Saucey, but after she had dialed 911.

911 Operator:  "911, what's your emergency?"

Rick-Daisy drops to the floor, grabs the phone and quickly blurts out the current situation before Ayaeenie fills her up full of lead.

Clapwald:  "Damn it Ayaeenie, the police are coming."  after several minutes of negotiation with audience members, the police arrive.

TeenJ:  "This is police Sargent TeenJ.  Come out with your tentacles up, we have you surrounded."

Clapwald:  "Over my dead body, and Maxwells!"  Clapwald pulls the trigger, killing Maxwell.

TeenJ:  "Now!"  the entire police squad bursts through the door, gats in hand, spraying down Clapwald and Ayaeenie, killing them both instantly.

The camera pans to the backstage area where Rod Sterling is eating an apple.

Rod:  "Nothing to out of this world happened tonight, but I guess there are still in, The Twilight Zone."

[sbl]

I made it to the end of the episode beach!

^^ i was so young

[Old Man Jenkins]

Reading that first line in Maxwell's voice