Clapwald

[Aya♥]

Good, good, very good.

Your egg carton sure looks like and egg carton

[Old Man Jenkins]

Your egg carton sure looks like and egg carton

Wow Aya, your shit kart is beautiful! Fuck you!

[Aya♥]

Wow Aya, your shit kart is beautiful! Fuck you!

Wow what a big dick Wumbo!

[sbl]

Awesome.

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

lmao I loved the first 2 episodes Aya. xD

[Aya♥]

lmao I loved the first 2 episodes Aya. xD

Good to hear

[Wumbo]

I came.

 

Now I am up. 

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 3: "The Day at the Bitch"

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald's apartments.  Clapwald and Ayaeenie are getting their gear to go for a day on the bitch.

Clapwald:  "Come on Ayaeenie!  Rick-Daisy is waiting for us."

Ayaeenie:  "Hold up a minute bitch, lemme grab this ballin ball."  

Ayaeenie takes a bitch ball out from the closet.  Clapwald and Ayaeenie leave the apartment with their gear.

Clapwald:  "I'm sure we'll die at the bitch today gurl."

Ayaeenie:  "Damn it."

Clapwald walks up to Wumbo's door and knocks on it.

Wumbo:  "Hello Clapwald.  Hello Ayaeenie."

Clapwald:  "Sup dawg.  We're on our way to Big Bitch, wanna come with us?"

Wumbo looks in a far away land, thinking deeply about his life and what he has done to improve and make it and society a better place for the modern family to live.  He then shakes his head.

Clapwald:  "Why not Wumbo?:

Wumbo walks over and picks up the "Daily Ice" Newspaper, sits down, and reads it.

Clapwald:  "Why not?"

Wumbo:  "There is too much water at the bitch.  And I don't want to get my dick wet."

Clapwald:  "You don't have to whip it out Wumbo."

Wumbo:  "I don't?"

Clapwald:  "You could collect Dickshells, or play Vaginaball, or build a Sandcock."

Wumbo:  "Or I could sit on the bitch and read my Playboy."

Clapwald:  "That's right!  You can have a great time and you don't even have to get wet."

Wumbo:  "Ok Clapwald, I just have to bring a few things."

Clapwald:  "Dumb bitch, me and Ayaeenie will be outside."

Clapwald and Ayaeenie get outside the apartments and wait for Wumbo.

Clapwald:  "I can't wait to go swimming, how about you gurl?"

Ayaeenie:  "I'm a dog, I cannot talk."

Clapwald and Ayaeenie hop into their toy car and wait for Wumbo.  As they were waiting, Steel and Bubble Pumkin drive by.

Clapwald:  "Where are my drugs Bubble."

Bubble:  "Shut up octobitch."

Wumbo walks out wearing his Tupace yellow sweater, his Bray Wyatt Hat, and a purse with all his porno in it.

Wumbo:  "I'm ready Clapwald."  He gets in the car.

Clapwald starts the car and heads for the Big Bitch.  While he is driving Wumbo is looking at the centerfold in the back seat.

Wumbo:  "Good, good, very good."

The trio reach Rick-Daisy's house, where she is waiting with her surfboard.  Clapwald was drinking while driving and did not notice his flowery friend standing dangerously far away from the sidewalk, onto the street, when he smashes her body into two.

Clapwald:  "Huh?  Did we hit something?"

Wumbo was too busy reading his porno and Ayaeenie is a hotdog.

Clapwald: "Oh well, time to go to the bitch!"

The trio carry on their adventure to the Big Bitch.  They eventually arrive after awhile.

Clapwald:  "Me and Ayaeenie are going swimming!"

Wumbo:  "What?"  he was too busy "reading" his Playboy magazine.  In his busyness, he steps onto the hot summer seman

Wumbo:  "OW!  This seman is hot!"

Clapwald:  "It is a bitch, dumb ass.  Come one Ayaeenie, let's dive in!"

Ayaeenie: "Arf!"

Clapwald and Ayaeenie jump into the water and start splashing around, having a jolly time.

Clapwald:  "Come on in Wumbo, the water is great!"

Wumbo:  "Nope, not getting out of this chair."  he sits down on a fold out chair and looks at his booby pages.

Clapwald:  "Suit yourself!"

The two play in the water after awhile, and Ayaeenie starts to feel a little nervous.

Clapwald:  "What's wrong gurl?"

Ayaeenie:  "Yo man, I think there be somethin scary under water."

Clapwald:  "It's nothing Ayaeenie, it's probably just a-"

Before Clapwald could finish his sentence a giant shark with legs leaps out of the ocean and engulfs him and Ayaeenie in one bite.  All the bitch dwellers start getting out of the water, but since The Man Shark has lungs and legs, it chases all that fleas from hit, eating them all in one bite.  The only thing left on the bitch was Wumbo and his porno mags.

Wumbo:  "Nope, not getting out of this chair."

Rod Serling emerges from the sand next to Wumbo.

Rod:  "A shark with human body parts terrorizing a local bitch.  Nothing out of the blue with this blue with bitch, other than it's in, The Twilight Zone."
 

[Old Man Jenkins]

I was hoping it'd be a cocking chair to go with that Bray Wyatt hat

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 4: Job Forever

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald and Ayaeenie walking to the butt cream shop.

Clapwald:  "Mmm, mmm, I sure could go for an ass cream cone right about now.  How about you gurl?"

Ayaeenie:  "Damn right I do."

As the approach the ass cream shop they hear loud coughing and dying noises.  Eventually Johnny Jenkman steps out of his shop.

Clapwald:  "Johnny, are you ok?"

Jenkman:  "OhaiClapwald.  *cough*  I must be coming down with the case of cancer."

Clapwald:  "Get away from me you sick demon."

Jenkman:  "Thank you Clapwald."
 
Clapwald:  "You know Johnny, the best thing for cancer is a Good, Long, nap.  It always works for me."

Jenkman:  "Oh, I couldn't possibly take a nap, it's Friday afternoon, and I have a special delivery to make."

Clapwald stands there thinking for hours until eventually responding.

Clapwald:  "Why don't you let me and Ayaeenie make the delivery for you?"

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Jenkman:  "Thanks Clapwald.  Here is map of Big Titty.  Here's the route for which you will take to deliver this Huckleberry Snowcone."

Clapwald:  "Will do Jenkman."

Jenkman's cancer had come to the point where he melted on the street.

Clapwald:  "We're going to do a great job for Johnny."

Ayaeenie:  "Damn nugga, he's dead."

The two get into Jenkman's ass cream car to start their delivery.

Clapwald:  "Isn't this swell gurl?"

Ayaeenie:  "The cops will be all over us man."

Clapwald:  "Ok Ayaeenie, ring the bell!"

Ayaeenie pulls on the ass cream string and rings the bell, yay.

Rick-Daisy:  "Yo dawgz."

Clapwald stops the ass cream mobile.

Clapwald:  "Sup Rick-Daisy."  The two then did their secret handshake.

Rick-Daisy:  "Howdy Clapwald.  Where's Johnny Jenkman?"

Clapwald:  "Johnny's uh...not feeling well.  So, Ayaeenie and I are making a special delivery.  What can I get for you today?"

Rick-Daisy:  "How about -flower pun ass cream-"

Clapwald:  "Sure thing Rick-Daisy, here ya go!"  He hands her the ass cream.  "Pay up bitch."

Rick-Daisy:  "Sure thing Clapwald."  She hands him a quarter, "See ya Clapwald."

Ayaeenie and Clapwald hop back into the Ass Cream Mobile,

Clapwald:  "Alright, we've gotta deliver this cocaine."

Clapwald is driving until he is stopped again by his so called "friends."

Steel:  "Ass Cream!"

Bubble Pumkin:  "You're not Jenkman."

Clapwald:  "You've got the goods Bubble?"

Bubble:  "Here, now give me ass cream."  The two make exchanges and Clapwald gives Bubble and Steel their Ass Cream.

Clapwald:  "Gee, Ayaeenie, I hope this drug lord won't be angry with us if we get there late."

The two start driving again until they break out into song by making a bunch of ass cream orders

Cactus Clover:  "One scope of each please."

Clapwald:  "Here ya go country bitch."  Ayaeenie and Clapwald keep driving again until the eventually arrive.

Clapwald:  "Alright Ayaeenie, we're here."  The two get out of the ass cream truck.  "This is it, Number 25, Floor 3."  Clapwald ready's the ass cream and cocaine delivery.

Clapwald:  "Anyone home?"

A dark figure opens the door and takes the ass cream and cocaine.

???:  "Thank you for the delivery, and now you must not live to tell this tale."  The mystery man pulls out a gun and kills both Clapwald and Ayaeenie.  The mystery man laughs and closes his door, where it is revealed that the man is Johnny Jenkman!

Rod Serling steps out of Jenkman's closet,

Rod:  "A snowman fakes is own death just to make his friends deliver drugs and ass cream to himself.  This may sound weird in the normal world, but this isn't no normal world, this world is, The Twilight Zone."

[Old Man Jenkins]

$2.30, sir

[sbl]

The trio reach Rick-Daisy's house, where she is waiting with her surfboard.  Clapwald was drinking while driving and did not notice his flowery friend standing dangerously far away from the sidewalk, onto the street, when he smashes her body into two.

HOW DARE U

[E.V.I.L.]

this story is the most beautiful thing i have ever read

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

10/10 totally would bang.

[Wumbo]

I honestly don't think I could love this more if I tried.

[Aya♥]

Clapwald

Episode 5:  One More Dickmallow

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald setting up his dining room.

Clapwald:  "I love penis, don't you gurl?"

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

Clapwald:  "Everything has to be perfect for this party."  Clapwald walks over and picks up some party items.  "Drugged Tea and Hot Babes...hmm, I think I'm forgetting something... ah!  The Dickmallows!"  Clapwald pulls out a jar of Dickmallows.  "One Dickmallow, Two Dickmallows, Three Dickmallows.  Fantastic!"

The two hear a knock on the door.

Ayaeenie:  "You best not be the cops."

Clapwald:  "They're here!"  He answers the door, "Right on time!"

Wumbo:  "Hiya Clapwald."

Rick-Daisy:  "Hey Clapwald."

The two sit down at Clapwald's dining room table.

Ayaeenie:  "Sup bitch."

Rick-Daisy:  "Hiya weeniegurl!"

Wumbo:  "You really know how to throw a tea party Buddy Boy."

Clapwald:  "Fuck you."

Clapwald grabs the drugged tea and the hot babes, "Tea Rick-Daisy?"

Rick-Daisy:  "Why yes please!"

Clapwald:   "Some hot babes Wumbo?"

Wumbo:  "Yeah, yeah, that's what I always have, thank you."  Wumbo looks confusingly at the babes, "Um, I hate to break it to ya Clapwald old chum, but uh where are the Dickmallows?  I always have three dickmallows in my hot babes.  No more, no less."

Clapwald:  "No bother at all Wumbo.  Three dickmallows coming right up.  Here ya go."

Wumbo:  "Clapwald, were you dropped on your head as a child, there is only two dickmallows on this plate."

Clapwald:  "Two?  One Dickmallow, 2 Dickmallows.  But there were 3 earlier."

Wumbo:  "There are only 2 now you dumb ass."

Clapwald:  "Then 1 Dickmallow is missing."

Ayaeenie whines in the corner of the room.

Clapwald:  "What is it gurl?  Did you eat the Dickmallow?"

Ayaeenie:  "You'll never catch me alive fuckers!"  Ayaeenie jumps out of Clapwald's window, which is on the third floor, and the impact of the fall kills her instantly.

Wumbo:  "No more, no less."

Rick-Daisy:  "Do you have anymore Dickmallows..."  she then dozes off from the affects of the tea.

Clapwald:  "No, those were the last three."

Wumbo:  *sigh*, "I guess I can make do with two Dickmallows."

Clapwald:  "I know, I'll go out and get you another Dickmallow!"

Wumbo:  "Fine, get out of my face bitch."

Clapwald:  "I'll be right back."

Clapwald leaves his apartment to trek on his adventure to please his penguiny pal.  Clapwald takes his time and eventually reaches  the Candy Shop.

Bubble Pumkin:  "Sup honey."

Clapwald:  "Hey Bubble.  I need one..."

Bubble:  "Crack Rock, 10 oz, 1 piece?  What will it be?"

Clapwald:  "I just need one Dickmallow."

Bubble:  "One Dickmallow?"  Bubble puts up a sign that reads "No Homos", "Get out of my store Clapwald."

Clapwald:  "Looks like we have to do things the hard way Bubble."  Clapwald pulls out a gat and sprays down his Pumkin drug dealer.  Clapwald reaches over the counter and steals the Dickmallow.  Clapwald rushes home as he sees Webster calling the police.

Clapwald:  "Gotta run!"

Clapwald eventually reaches his apartment and throws the Dickmallow at Wumbo.

Clapwald:  "Are you happy, you greedy bastard."

Wumbo:  "Good, good, very good."

Wumbo starts to drink his hot babe, while Clapwald sits down and thinks about the crime he committed.  While he is sitting down and ghostly figure appears in his vision.

Clapwald:  "What the?"

Wumbo:  "What is it buddy ol pal?"

Clapwald:  "Uh, it's nothing."

The ghostly figure reveals its self to be Bubble Pumkin.

Bubble:  "Clapwald....you've done wrong, and now you must pay."

Clapwald near jumps out of his skin and tips in his chair.  The chair he was sitting in was next to the open window Ayaeenie jumped out of.  While he was trying to regain balance, The Ghost used an unnatural force to further tip the chair out of his apartment.  Clapwald suffered the same fate as his dog, dying of blunt force trauma.

Wumbo:  'Wah, huh?"  he looked around to see no one but Rick-Daisy, passed out, in the apartment.  "Might as well loot the dead bastard."

As Wumbo was stealing Clapwald's belongings, Rod Serling steps out of Clapwalds fridge.

Rod:  "Payback from the dead.  You know what they say, "What comes around, goes around."  That is the life motto is a world I call, The Twilight Zone."
 

[sbl]

lol

[Old Man Jenkins]

Some party. Needed more Jenkman.

[Sauce Mama]

Why haven't I been keeping up with this? This is great stuff!

[Aya♥]

Clapwald
Episode 6: Wumbo Needs A Hair Cut

 

The scene opens up to Clapwald and Ayaeenie waking up from the Big Titty's Alarm Clock.

Clapwald:  "Come one Ayaeenie, it's Saturday.  We're going to have breakfast with Wumbo and Rick-Daisy at the Big Titty Diner."

Ayaeenie:  "Arf!"

The proceed to leave their apartment and head for Wumbo's.  They arrive and knock at his door.

Wumbo:  "Who is it?"

Clapwald:  "It's Clapwald and Ayaeenie!  Time for breakfast!"

Wumbo:  "Come on in."

Clapwald and Ayaeenie enter Wumbo's apartment.

Clapwald:  "Ready to go to breakfast Wumbo?"

Wumbo:  "Ready Clapwald."

Clapwald:  "Holy shit, Wumbo, you have a dildo sticking out of your head."

Wumbo:  "Do I?"  Wumbo licks his flipper and tries laying it down, but it just pops right back up.

Wumbo:  "Well fuck.  Excuse me a moment."  Wumbo walks into his restroom to check out the dildo.  "Great Scott!  I'll take care of this.  Now, where did I put my walrus whisker brush?"  He picks up the brush and mats the dildo down.  "There, much better."  the dildo just keeps popping up, and very slightly, growing.

Clapwald:  "We should go to the barber dude."

Wumbo:  "The barber?  Oh no, not the barber.  Nope, nope, that bastard is insane."

Clapwald:  "There's nothing to be afraid of!"

Wumbo:  "I hear that JJs cuts up his customers and eats them."

Clapwald:  "Nonsense, I go there all the time, he is not a killer.  Plus when he's done he give me a Special lollipop."

Wumbo:  "A lollipop?"

Clapwald:  "Come on Wumbo, I'll go with you."

Wumbo:  "No, I have a better idea.  I'll just hide this feather."

Clapwald:  "But how?"

Wumbo:  "It's simple you dumbass, you wear one everyday."  Wumbo puts on his Bray Wyatt hat.  "Let's go meet Rick-Daisy at the Diner."

The three leave the apartments and head to the Diner.  The three eventually meet up with her.

Rick-Daisy:  "Hey guys!  Ready for breakfast?"

Clapwald:  "We're ready!"

Rick-Daisy:  "Diggin the hat Wumbo!"

Wumbo:  "Wanna see something...really scary."

Rick-Daisy:  "No, not really silly!  Why are you wearing that stupid hat anyway?"

Wumbo takes his hat off, and the dildo flops back up.

Rick-Daisy:  "You should go to JJs, Wumbo."

Wumbo:  "Nope, I'm not gonna get cut up and eaten, too scary."

Rick-Daisy:  "Believe what you want, be he gives me a Special lollipop."

Wumbo:  "Blah blah blah, I want my breakfast."  he puts his Bray Wyatt hat back on and the four head for the Diner.  They reach it and decide to eat outside.  Saucey shows up and hands the three their menus

Saucey:  "Sup Clapwald, Rick-Daisy, Ayaeenie, and... uh who is this?"

Clapwald:  "That's Wumbo."

Wumbo:  "I am the eater of worlds."

Saucey:  "Oh, of course, hello Wumbo."

Wumbo:  "Hello Madam Saucey."

Saucey:  "You won't be able to see your menu with that stupid hat on."

Wumbo:  "Fine, damn you."  he reveals his dildo sticking up.

Saucey:  "Oh gracious!"

Clapwald:  "Henry has a dildo that won't stay down."

Saucey:  "I'm not a dumbass.  You should go to the barber Wumbo."

Wumbo:  "FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, THAT MAN HAS KILLED 7 PEOPLE AND EATEN THEM."

Rick-Daisy:  "You're silly."

Wumbo:  "Fine, if you don't believe me, let's go to the barber."

The four leave Saucey's Diner and head to JJs Barber Shop.  After a good while, they eventually reach his shop.  JJs is standing outside his shop, swiping up what looked like skin.

JJs:  "Oh, hello fellas.  What could I do for you?"

Clapwald:  "Well, our friend Wumbo has this lone dildo sticking out of his head.  Could you be a doll and cut it off for him?"

JJs chuckles and welcomes them into the shop,  "Give me a few while I get my supplies."

JJs goes into the back of his shop and gets his favorite tool, his gat.  "Feeding time."  JJs unloads his gat on the four of them, killing them all but Clapwald, who was just about to reach the light.

Clapwald:  "Wh..why JJs?"

JJs:  "Didn't you read the papers?  I'm a cold blooded cannibal!"  he shoots one more bullet in Clapwald, killing him.  He rips off one of Clapwald's arms and starts eating it.  The scene pans out to outside the store where Rod Serling was standing.

Rod:  "The four friends sent out for breakfast, but their friend just had to go to the cold blooded killer's barbershop, never getting their breakfast, instead, they were breakfast.  This would be a normal morning, if it was in, The Twilight Zone."