Jjs' Riffing Theater 3000

[Metal Snake]

I lost it at "The IRS confiscated all of Aaron's candy." XD

[JCM]

I lost it at "The IRS confiscated all of Aaron's candy." XD

You're welcome, America.

[Jjs Goodman]

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

4. Berzerk

Spoiler

Episode 4: Berzerk

[Jjs: 

]

[Fa: Oh yeah, like Eminem shows up or something. Sounds fun.]

The Lamborghini rolled on. Lobber M was desperately trying to prove himself to The Rut by getting Slim Shady, but to no avail.

[Clappy: Lobber M is not the only thing desperately trying to prove something. Maybe this lit needs an Eminem guest spot to help bring it some street cred? Let's find out.]

Suddenly, a dark, shadowy figure jumped into the car. “What th-“ The Rut gasped.

[Fa: Because it ain't a series without a dark shadowy figure attacking the good guys!] 

[Jjs: Whoa there, a dark and shadowy figure? Before you all think I'll call the Redundancy Department for this...I'm not. I actually thank Wumbo for clarifying for us that a dark figure would be shadowy, or I would have thought it was someone in a "black suit" like in ATTWL 3.]

“NOWTHISHITSABOUTTOKICKOFF, THISPARTYISWACK, LETSTAKEITBACKTOSTRAIGHTHIPHOPANDSTARTITFROMSCRATCH,” the figure bellowed.

[Clappy: Lyrics! Lyrics! LAUGHATMEBECAUSEITSLYRICS.]

“#### ##### ##########!” LT cried in confusion.

[Fa: ISTILLDONTGETTHEPOINTOFTHISJOKEANDWHYWERESTILLDOINGIT!]

[Clappy: Those aren't lyrics!]

[Jjs: LT used confusion on the riffers! It was super effective!]

“JUSTLIKEIDIDWITHADDICTIONIMBOUTTO KICK IT!” the figure continued. He then jumped out of the car.

[Clappy: Jump for the lyrics! Bow to the lyrics! Let the lyrics consume you!]

“What… was… that?” The Rut asked.

[Jjs: Wow, the lyrics shocked them so much they needed to give two sets of ellipses and italics to make us feel suspense! Don't get too crazy.]

[Fa: Line of the series thus far. Rut the philosopher > Rut the rapper still.]

[Clappy: LYRICS!]

“Swag,” JoDo replied.

[Fa: N/A to JoDo.]

[Jjs: ....Really, again with this? So is the parody of JohnDoe going to be saying "swag" as a gag just like LT censors his words? Yeah, this is not going to work as a reoccurring running gag, one problem this lit has.]

“Shut up, JoDo,” Lobber M said. “I don’t know what it was, but we’d better keep our guard on, should it come back again.”

[Fa: The creature from Black Lagoon: L.A. edition.]

[Clappy: You can't escape the lyrics!]

“This would have never happened if I had been put in charge…” Stacy 56 insisted.

[Clappy: Lyrics take charge over actual content.]

Suddenly, LT’s Motorola phone rang. Lobber M picked it up. “Yes, hello?” he said, still frightened.

[Clappy: Lyrics are frightening.]

A deep voice breathed into the phone, “Will the real Slim Shady… please stand up?”

[Jjs: We're going to have a problem here.]

[Fa:  ]

[Clappy: HAHAHAHA GET IT? MORE LYRICS!

 ]

 

 

Edited December 13, 2017 by Gunter

[Metal Snake]

Good on not calling the Redundancy Department at a "dark, shadowy figure". Dark and shadowy are two different things. You can have something that's colored dark-black, but that doesn't mean it's covered in shadow or like a shadow in aspects besides its color.

Edited October 15, 2015 by Metal Snake

[Wumbo]

LLLLLLYYYYYYRICSSSSSSSS

[Katniss]

LLLLLLYYYYYYRICSSSSSSSS

sweet, beautiful LYRICS!

[Jjs Goodman]

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

5. The Way I Am

Spoiler

Episode 5: The Way I Am

[Fa: 

Hey look, I can reference songs too.]

Previously on Ruty’s Rapping Rampage:

[JCM: In an episode I didn't read and don't intend to.]

LT’s Motorola phone rang. Lobber M picked it up. “Yes, hello?” he said, still frightened.

A deep voice breathed into the phone, “Will the real Slim Shady… please stand up?”

[JCM: Hey, I did that joke already.]

[Fa: Deja vu.]

---

Lobber M stared at the phone, unsure of what to say. “Who is this?” he asked nervously.

“I go by many names. Most know me as… Eminem.”

[Fa: Marshall Mathers is chill too from what I've heard]

[JCM: And most know me as Skittle.]

“OH MY GOD IT’S EMINEM!!” Lobber M quickly put the phone on speaker. “Hi, Eminem!” everyone said, except LT, who expressed his gratitude through censored curse words.

[Fa:  ]

“Eminem, we’re a group of aspiring rappers,” The Rut said. “What advice can you give us to make us big stars?”

[JCM: Have you tried asking the Sun?]

“Go berzerk, ALL NIGHT LOOOONG,” Eminem bellowed.

 [Fa: Sounds like a chill plan for sleeping with the fishes.]

“What was that?” The Rut asked. “That doesn’t sound like the Eminem we know.”

[JCM: Yeah, only Kanye West speaks in all caps.]

“Are you bozos smart enough to feel stupid? Hope so,” Eminem continued.

 [Fa: Eminem needs a snickers. He's nonsensical, insulting Eminem when he's hungry.]

“#### #### #### ####!” LT replied in confusion. He grabbed the phone and hung up.

[JCM: Eminem's side career as a telemarketer isn't going very well.]

“LT, why did you do that?!” Lobber M asked. 

“Swag,” JoDo replied.

[Fa: Ok, it's finally hit me that this is pretty unfunny now after the 4th or so time.]

[JCM: Who is he again?]

“Shut up, JoDo,” Lobber M admonished. “We had EMINEM on the line, and you just hung up?!”

“##### ##### ##### #####!” LT fumed.

“I think LT’s tryin’ to say that that wasn’t Eminem. And I’m inclined to agree,” Bo Boast replied.

[Fa: Bo Boast, teach me the language of the hashtags so this lit's quality may slightly improve.]

[JCM: So am I, whoever you are.]

“But what if it was Eminem? We’ll never get an opportunity like that again!” Lobber M cried.

“Let’s move on,” Stacy 56 suggested. “I’m sure we’ll find Eminem again.”

And the Rut Crew rolled on.

[JCM: Well, that Eminem plot was fun while it lasted, but it'll be great to go back to...]

--- 

Meanwhile, Eminem stands on the edge of the sidewalk, looking at his cell phone. “No one messes with Slim Shady and gets away with it.” He puts the phone in his pocket, vowing to catch the Rut Crew and teach them a lesson for hanging up on him.

[JCM: ...nevermind.]

[Fa: *sighs* Maybe he'll exact his Revenge and this ends soon. I sure hope so.]

 

Edited December 24, 2016 by Mr. Hankey

[Jjs Goodman]

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

6. Faded

Episode 6: Faded

[MMM: Oh, boy. Is this supposed to be ironic or no?]

[Trophy: Synonym for my interest, huh?]

The Rut Crew was rolling on. Lobber M was looking at the cell phone,

[JCM: Which cell phone? My cell phone? That ancient Motorola phone? Get your own phone, bro...ne.]

still upset that they hung up on who could have been Eminem.

[MMM: Don't worry, they'll find him aga-]

Suddenly, the phone rang again. Lobber M quickly answered it. “Hello?” 

[JCM: That spambot never had a caller react so enthusiastically to it.]

“Hey, it’s Eminem!” Eminem replied. “You guys looking to find a hotel tonight?”

[MMM: .....hmm. Why would you ask?]

[OMLJ: What an interesting question.]

[Trophy: MMM, YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE A PSYCHIC! TELL ME WHEN THE CUBS WIN THE WORLD SERIES, DAMMIT!]

“No, we usually sleep in our car. Why?”

[JCM: Because he's going to come over there and stab you.]

“Well, I’d really like to come meet you guys. Where will you be staying tonight?” “At the intersection of Conch and Coral,” Lobber M replied.

[MMM: Get it...it's....it's....SpongeBob. Because there's a reason for that, apparently.]

[JCM: How original.]

[OMLJ: No, Em, don't do it! It's the maniac!]

“Excellent!” Eminem said. “I’ll meet you there.”

[MMM: No further questions, I suppose.]

[JCM: And by "meet", he means "stab",]

“Okay… bye.” Lobber M hung up the phone, then squealed with excitement. “What is it? You’re ruining my concentration!” The Rut complained, trying to keep his eyes on the road. 

[JCM: Rule #1 of driving: Never let screaming fangirls distract you.]

“Eminem’s gonna meet us tonight!” Lobber M squealed.

[MMM: Is there any justification for Lobber M's particular fascination with Eminem? No? Sure.]

Everyone was duly impressed. “Wow, how’d you manage that?” Stacy 56 asked.

[JCM: It took everything he had to answer somebody else's phone.]

[MMM: Apparently duly is a word, that's not a typo. Shocked me.]

“I guess I’m just that awesome,” Lobber M replied proudly. “Look at that!” The Rut exclaimed suddenly. “Another rapper!” This one was Tyga.

[Trophy: Hello irrelevancy road.]

[JCM: Ooh, a rapper and a rapist.]

[MMM: Beautifully written, I have to say.]

[OMLJ: I prefer Snoop Lion.]

“OMG, Tyga’s music is swag,” JoDo said. 

[JCM: Not as swag as his love of underage girls.]

“Stop saying ‘swag’,” Bo Boast insisted. “Especially when referring to that talentless ‘rapper’.” “Hey man, don’t be hating on Tyga. He’s awesome!” The Rut said. “Besides, what does the only black guy in the group know about rap music anyway?”

[Trophy: Oh great, the black guy rapper stereotype. *falls asleep*]

[JCM: Ruty's Racist Rampage.]

[MMM: I really don't know what that was supposed to be, and god, this stuff is formulaic.]

[OMLJ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLojlkgckYo ]

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a comment,” Bo Boast replied.

[MMM: Good.]

[Trophy: You just did. HYPOCRITICAL PARADOX!]

“Shut up, Bo,” Lobber M replied. He called out to Tyga. “Hey, Tyga! Love your music.”

[JCM: That makes one person.]

“Hey thanks man, that means a lot,” Tyga said, a smile on his face. “Me too!” Stacy 56 said. She pulled up her shirt. “BE MY BABY’S DADDY!”

[JCM: If you aren't careful, he'll take you up on that offer.]

[Trophy: I know this isn't rated PG, but do we have to get to Bikini Top cheesy as hell sex scenes now?]

[MMM: Interesting way to propose, yes yes.]

“Hey, want to join our rap group?” The Rut asked. “We could use your lyrical stylings.”

[JCM: That's when you know this lit's a comedy.]

“Aw man… I don’t think I can do that,” Tyga replied. “Why not? You don’t want to resurrect your career?” The Rut asked. 

[JCM: That's why he's dating a Kardashian.]

Tyga thought about it, then replied, “All right, fine.” He hopped into the car.

[Trophy: YAY FOR PADDING CHARACTERS WHO NOBODY HAS HEARD OF!]

[MMM: That was easy. The possibilities are endless with these persuading skills.]

“No! This is not happening!” Bo Boast pulled out a gun and shot Tyga. Tyga died.

[JCM: wat]

[Trophy: ....You could've given him lessons instead?]

[MMM: ...dude.]

[OMLJ: That escalated quickly.]

Everybody looked at Bo Boast. “Nicely done,” The Rut said.

[JCM: wat]

“What?” Bo Boast asked. 

[JCM: Jinx.]

“We knew you would have the cojones to shoot that talentless rapper,” The Rut explained. “We just needed to inspire you.”

[JCM: Last time: WAT]

[Trophy: Cojones? I don't even wanna go on Urban Dictionary for this...]

[MMM: Thanks for sharing, M. Night.]

“You guys are sick,” Bo Boast replied. He dumped the body out of the car, and The Rut Crew rolled on.

[Trophy: With the police on their tail for killing a guy.]

[MMM: We just gonna ignore that lifeless, bloody body on the side of the road and normally keep going?]

[JCM: Hey, remember that whole Eminem thing? Me neither.]

[OMLJ: What about the bottles of soda?]

 

Edited October 19, 2015 by jjsthekid

[MMM]

 

[Trophy: MMM, YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE A PSYCHIC! TELL ME WHEN THE CUBS WIN THE WORLD SERIES, DAMMIT!]

(shrug)

[Metal Snake]

And now they've killed someone...so much for this being a lighthearted parody of RRR. And now they also believe that it was the real Eminem again...for no reason. Consistency has been given the middle finger twice in the same chapter.

[Jjs Goodman]

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

7. Boombastic

Episode 7: Boombastic

[Jjs: 

Wait a minute...I thought this was for rap, not reggae. Apparently 2013 Wumbo thought they were the same genre....oh my, not a good start this episode if even the author can't even remember what genre of music the show is riffing on!]

The Rut Crew was rolling on. The Rut spotted a rapper standing on the sidewalk. “I’m stopping the car.”

[Fa: At least they're able to spot a rapper quicker then the average guy.]

[Pat Monahan: This is not a drive by.]

The rapper they stopped to see was Shaggy. 

[Fa: Ruh-Roh!]

[SOF: Will he get into their car for a Scooby Snack?]

“Hello,” he said in his well-known thick Jamaican accent.

[Fa: Rasta Shaggy? Here begins the downhill slide...]

[Jjs: Good thing Wumbo specified which Shaggy we're dealing with here, or I assume it would have been the one from Scooby-Doo. I mean, he already is putting a reggae artist into this episode, so gotta be 100% sure.]

“They call me Mr. Boombastic, say me fantastic…”

[Jjs: LYRICS!]

[SOF: LYRICS! SWEET, BEAUTIFUL LYRICS!]

[FA: SUBSTANCE!]

“#### #### #### ####!” LT yelled.

[Jjs: ##### ### #####! (Translation: STILL NOT FUNNY!)]

“Yes, we’re all very excited to see Shaggy, LT,” Bo Boast replied.

[SOF: Uh, who is this "we"?]

“Hello, Shaggy,” The Rut greeted. “Tell us, what has made you so successful?”

“Hatchoo-sneeze!” Shaggy sneezed. 

[Fa: Gazuntite!]

[Jjs: Bless you.]

He then told The Rut, “I get by on my thick Jamaican accent. People barely understand what I’m saying, but they think it’s sexy.”

[Fa: So a glorified sex idol? Interesting tactic there.]

[SOF: That's disgusting...]

“#### ##### #####!” LT yelled.

[Fa: It's almost not even worth condemning this... again.]

[SOF: Seriously, we need to get this guy a translator or something.]

“What? You thought it was something more?” Shaggy laughed. “No, sir.”

 “Wow, you’re a fraud.” The Rut looked visibly disappointed.

“I am not! I’m a capitalist. There’s a difference.”

[Fa: As I always say, whatever makes the moolah.]

“Fraud.”

“Capitalist.”

“Fraud!”

[Jjs: PLANKTON!]

[SOF: KRABS! SPONGEBOB!]

“Capitalist!” 

“FRAUD!”

“CAPITALIST!” 

[Fa: SAME FIGHT, JUST LOUDER!]

“FRAUD!”

“CAPITALIST!”

[SOF: BE QUIET, I'M NAPPIN'!]

“We’re wasting our time,” Lobber M insisted.

[Fa: Like us with this story?]

[Jjs: That makes two of us.]

[SOF: That makes three of us.]

“Get out of my hood,” Shaggy ordered.

“This is not swag,” JoDo said remorsefully.

[Fa: You are not swag, JoDo. Never were.]

“Thanks for nothing, Shaggy,” said The Rut. And the Rut Crew rolled on.

[SOF: ...Wait, THAT WAS IT?!]

[Jjs: What, they didn't even kill him? At least they have some decency, or maybe they realized Shaggy isn't actually a rapper.]

[Fa: Nice little episode even though noth-Okay yeah, that was boring and it's only saving grace was that like a shot, it was over quickly.]

[Wumbo]

"FRAUD!"

"CAPITALIST!"

[Metal Snake]

shaggy's jamaican accent makes his career wut

And again, the satire is one joke. That's all. Yeah, I'm still with my opinion that the main problem with this lit is not the writing. It's the humor. It's a satire...but a blandly done one. The problem was that Wumbo was trying to satire rap artists when, at least at the time, he didn't know enough about rap artists to be parodying them well.

[Jjs Goodman]

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

8. Yonkers

Episode 8: Yonkers

[Fa: Oh bonkers Yonkers!]

[MMM: We're going to New York?]

[JCM: They yonked my yonkers right out, man.]

[Fred: Wander Over Yonkers.]

The Rut Crew rolled along. Suddenly, they spotted another rapper.

[Fa: The Rut must have invented rap sensing goggles to catch a rapper from any reasonable distance.]

[MMM: Is there a traveling rapper convention on the path of the Rut Crew?]

“Hey, it’s Tyler… The Creator!” The Rut pointed out.

[JCM: Thank God. I thought this was another Tyler.]

[Fred: Tyler the Creator? My bad, I was looking for Tyler Perry.]

“Why the pause?” Stacy 56 asked.

“He’s got a comma in his name,” The Rut explained.

[Fa: At least Wumbo got the grammar down.]

[JCM: Ooh, a linguistic joke! This show is getting edgy!]

[MMM: Thanks, i'm gonna need this information.]

“#### ##### #### #####!” LT shouted.

[MMM: Lottery scratch off hosted by LT?]

“Okay, so maybe the pause was a little elongated…” The Rut admitted.

[Fa: *walks back in from the bathroom* Wait, we're still talking about that comma?]

[MMM: Of course, though.]

Tyler, The Creator just laughed when he saw The Rut Crew pull up. “What the hell are you supposed to be? Some kind of gay-ass Bruno Mars backing group?”

[JCM: No, you need talent to be one of those.]

[Fa: Wumbo managed to insult two artists in the same breath. Well done. ]

“No!... No!” The Rut stammered, too shocked by Tyler’s blatant rudeness to say anything else.

[JCM: Weren't you mocking a 13 year old girl to her face not too long ago?]

“What do you want before I stab y’all in ya goddamn esophagus?” Tyler growled.

[Fa: Watch me pull out my violent rapper attack!]

The entire Rut Crew was left rendered speechless.

[Fa: Works better in 8-bit.]

“Let’s… move along,” The Rut finally said.

[JCM: Yeah, screw conflict!]

[MMM: You all are wimps.]

[Fa: Like I know you do...]

[Fred:

 ]

“Too much swag,” JoDo said regretfully.

 And The Rut Crew rolled on.

[Fa: Like I said before, at least they are short episodes.]

[JCM: Short, sweet, and pointless.]

[Fred: And the band played on....]

[MMM: I can only anticipate what'll happen next.]

 

Edited October 24, 2015 by jjsthekid

[Metal Snake]

Oh yeah, this show's other main problem. These episodes are too short. I know RRR had some short episodes, but they didn't usually feel short if that makes any sense because all the jokes that needed to be told were told. These episodes typically just involve one conversation with a rapper, one joke or two, episode over. It leaves you wanting more.

Edited October 24, 2015 by Metal Snake

[Jjs Goodman]

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

9. That's How I Beat Shaq

Spoiler

Episode 9: That’s How I Beat Shaq

[Clappy: LYRICS!]

[Fred: My final episode. Thank the lord.]

The Rut Crew was rolling along. Stacy 56 remarked, “You know, I wish we could see Aaron Carter again. He was kinda cute.”

[JCM: You didn't see him the first time. You talked to him on the phone.]

[Fred: Again? That irrelevant hasbeen?]

The Rut replied, “Don’t hold your breath. We probably won’t see him ever again.”

[Clappy: Obvious foreshadowing is obvious. Subtlety is not this lit's strong point. Nor is comedy.]

[Fred: Neither will you see me again.]

“Maybe you’re right,” Stacy 56 said, sounding a little disappointed.

[JCM: Why wasn't Stacy's crush on Aaron Carter mentioned in the last episode Carter appeared in? It's not like Wumbo completely forgot about her like he did Bo Boast and John "Swag" Doe.]

[Clappy: Hey look. Character development. She's more than one note. She has actual feelings.]

Suddenly, The Rut spotted Aaron Carter with Shaquille O’Neal on the side of the road.

[Clappy: You know, because both are living life together since retirement or in Aaron's case flaming out.]

“Well what do you know, Stacy? You might just get your wish after all.” He rolled his eyes at the thought of conversing with Aaron Carter again, but willingly pulled over.

“Hi, Aaron.” Stacy 56 batted her eyelashes at him.

[JCM: Stacy's a girl?]

Aaron ignored her and focused his attention on The Rut. “So, you thought I was washed up, huh? Well, I brought a very good friend of mine that would like to prove you otherwise!”

[Clappy: Yeah, because he could obviously tell who The Rut is based off of the sound of his voice? When did The Rut obtain this street cred that even wash outs like Aaron Carter can recognize him? Or is the joke that Aaron's career means so little that he knew The Rut based off that past episode where they never physically met? I know this nitpick is minor, but it sets up the rest of this episode, so it's kinda important.]

“Shaq?” The Rut laughed. “He’s even less relevant to rap music than you are!”

[JCM: Oh ho ho! We get joy out of belittling people who have had more success rapping than we ever will!]

[Fred: Let's green egg and ham it.]

“Hey, my album Shaq Diesel was reviewed by the Rap Critic!” Shaq protested.

[Clappy: Yeah, because that's why your famous......it's because of your acting career obviously.]

“Only because it was so bad!” Bo Boast pointed out.

[JCM: Careful. If you make Shaq mad enough, he'll use you as a toothpick during brunch.]

[Fred: Damn, you're gonna need some ice for that burn.]

“Sit down, man.” Aaron Carter rolled his eyes.

[Clappy: Yes. Can't you see your skepticism is boring Tha Carter?]

The Rut grew furious. “You do not tell my best friend to sit down!” he fumed. “YOU sit down!”

[JCM: Where? In the middle of the road?]

[Clappy: No JCM. At Aaron's Party (Come Get It).]

“That’s the best you can do?” Aaron laughed. He finally noticed Stacy 56. “I suppose your slutty groupie has her eyes on me?” he stated.

[Clappy: He just now noticed a girl staring at him? I guess bros before hoes really is a thing and not some overused cliche.]

Stacy 56 snapped out of it. “Shut the fuck up, asshole!” she yelled.

[JCM: That's just her way of saying she likes you.]

[Clappy: Hey look. More character development. I think this episode might self destruct because of it.]

“Hey, contain your swag,” JoDo insisted.

[Clappy: Because she has swag coming out her ovaries, am I right Kreayshawn?]

“JoDo’s right… even though he’s still using that word,” Bo Boast added.

“We don’t need this.” The Rut drove off, and The Rut Crew rolled on.

[JCM: And thus we cap off another pointless episode with another anticlimax. The good news is there's only one more episode after this. The better news is I won't be here to riff it. Good night, everybody. I hope you learned something from this experience. I know I haven't.]

[Clappy: Yeah, this is my last one too. I learned absolutely nothing from this. Its existence is pointless beyond one typo. If you want a good joke spin-off, look at Bikini Wax, where Wumbo did a much better job parodying Bikini Top because there was actual content worth parodying.  

Yeah, Rusty was popular but there is absolutely zero reason to parody it because for as long as Rusty's lasted, there is no content that's even worth the time to parody. That's why the Rusty train rolled on at the end of every episode because it served its purpose only to somewhat reset itself to do the same formula every episode. At least the one note characters there were developed enough to get good jokes in. The Rut had no real development beyond being parodies of the Rusty Crew. I get that's the point, but even parodied characters need some sort of comedic trait to make them actually funny. That's where the major opportunities were missed to give some life to this limp lifeless lit.

Yeah, uninspiring is what this honestly was. But I'm proud of Wumbo to give us the opportunity to revisit his personal shame.  Now onto the series finale, which Jjs and company will tell you all about it when the Riffing Theater sees you again....

LYRICS!]

[Fred: Welp, I'm done here.

Wumbo, I love you. You're great at reviewing music and you're great at making spin-offs too, but this was definitely one of your weakest works ever. The episodes are very short, the characters have no personality, it lacks comedy, the title rips off a more successful literature, and it felt more like an excuse to riff on bad rappers/singers. I'd prefer you do more "Characters from _______" spinoffs and stay away from weak shit like this.]

 

 

Edited December 13, 2017 by Gunter

[Metal Snake]

How does one not make comedy out of Shaquille O' Neal?

[Jjs Goodman]

And now it's time this ride came to an end.

Ruty's Rapping Rampage

10. Cleanin' Out My Closet

Spoiler

Episode 10: Cleanin’ Out My Closet

[Jjs:

 

Here it is, the last episode. Hopefully this ride gets a decent end...probably not, but let's find out.]

[Fa: Whatever happens, it'll probably be forgettable.]

[SOF: Cleanin' out this lit.]

[MMM: The last frontier, folks.]

“Say, whatever happened to Eminem?” The Rut asked Lobber M as the Crew was rolling along.

[Fa: No chance Eminem shows up in this episode. None.]

[SOF: Subtlety: You're doing it wrong.]

“He said he’d meet us at the intersection of Conch and Coral,” Lobber M insisted.

[MMM: Wrong show.]

[Fa: Well, we are on a SpongeBob fansite, so I'll give Wumbo effort points for trying.]

[Jjs: Haha, Spongebob references...haha?]

“Well, we’re almost there, and I don’t see him,” The Rut replied. They then see a shadowy figure standing right at the intersection of Conch and Coral. “What th-“

[Fa: Pacing. This is not it.]

[Jjs: Uh oh, don't tell me we're riffing ATTWL 3 again...]

[SOF: First a forced SpongeBob reference and now a shadowy figure? Was this a parody of RRR or ATTWL 3?]

[MMM: OMNIOUS.]

Eminem jumps into the car and slashes the throats of each member of The Rut Crew.

[SOF: Well, that's our story, the gang died. Good night!

....REALLY?!]

[Fa: So Eminem isn't Marshall Mathers. He's in fact...

 

]

He leaves them to rot in the Lamborghini they stole. So ends the journey of The Rut Crew.

[SOF: THAT'S IT?! Yeah, sorry Wumbo, but this was definitely your weakest work to date. It just...didn't work as a parody. But we've seen much worse things, so it won't be making my bottom list anytime soon. Still, yeah, I see why Wumbo regrets this. That's all I have to say here, folks.]

[MMM: That was it? This took a couple minutes to riff, so ends it indeed.

Well, at least it's over. Ridiculous repetition, bad pacing, unneeded everything. What a petty disaster. I'm out.]

[Fa: I honestly will say this is the proper ending for the way this went down:

An honest attempt to parody a lit that malformed into something that just shouldn't have even come to fruition. The writing was dull and forced at times, downright unreadable a few others. Wumbo's lack of rap knowledge at the time he wrote this doesn't help either. At the very least, I'm glad he recognized this and killed it off before we went even further on into the Rut Crew's journey.]

[Jjs: Everyone died, the end.

Yeah, without a shadow of the doubt, this was definitely Wumbo's misfire and I don't blame him for regretting it. As others pointed out, it's just really dull and uninspired. I get what it was trying to do, but its existence is mostly based off of one typo and as Clappy said, Rusty itself isn't really easy to parody since it's pretty much a parody of SBC to begin with. This whole lit just felt like a very late punchline from an awkward guy to a joke. Thankfully, Wumbo at least ended this right then and there before it got worse. This is still far from being the worst thing ever riffed, but this definitely did not age well at all. As Clappy said, we all have our personal shames and I can see why this was Wumbo's. Not much riff material for this last episode, but oh well. It holds the record for being the shortest thing ever riffed on JRT, so it has that record, at least. See you guys soon.]

Edited December 24, 2016 by Mr. Hankey

[Minty Car]

I'll miss how quick it was to riff these episodes, not much else though

[Metal Snake]

Oh wow, I actually remember this episode now. DX It disappointed me back then and it disappointed me now, I'll just leave it at that. So Eminem was the guy from Assassin's Creed. At least that's an unexpected twist.

But yeah, final review, even though everyone's final thoughts have already said enough. It's not a monstrosity. The writing, while shaky at times, is fair overall. The stories are at least well told, cohesive and coherent. However, the humor, like I've already implied, is flat and repetitive. I know not every episode of Rusty was gold and that a lot of episodes followed the same formula, but they still worked because the humor had a lot of variety. Each episode had a unique way of satiring an SBC member. In Ruty, the way of satiring the rapper in a lot of the episodes is just..."This guy's not a good rapper, he's irrelevant. Let's move along."

Overall, it's not terrible, just very unsatisfying and nowhere near as good as I remembered. The riffing was excellent though, as usual.