OMJ's Variety

[Old Man Jenkins]

So this is a thread where I'll let my creativity soar and write out whatever ideas that may pop in my head, be they spin-off or lit. I find this'll save me the pain of starting a new thread for something and then just dropping it all together not long after. If some ideas are good enough, I could bump up it to it's own thread but for the most part, this is just like a scrapbook or something. Anywho, here's my first entry. I've always contemplated making just a straight up SBC-based wrestling lit, but I thought Community Deathmatch always had that base covered for me. Well, this thread gives me the freedom to go about that so here ya go. Taking a page out of Nautical World of Wrestling for this one.

Sponge Brawl Championship Wrestling Episode 1: Tournament of Staff

We are welcomed to the first episode of SBC Wrestling by broadcast announcers, 4EverGreen and SpongeSebastian. They hype up the Tournament of Staff that is to take place tonight in order to crown the inaugural SBC World Champion. They lead us right into our first match for tonight and for the tournament.

Match #1: Clappy vs Aquatic Nuggets

Clappy and Nuggets both make their respective ways toward the ring. The announcers play up their history with eachother. They stare each other down for a few seconds before shaking hands out of respect. The bell rings and the match officially begins. Clappy and Nugs grapple with eachother, both attempting to gain an upper hand over the other. Nuggets tries to lift Clappy for a slam, but Clappy counters out and plants Nuggets down with a neckbreaker. Clappy maintains control over Nuggets until Nugs begins fighting back with some strong power moves. Nuggets floors Clappy with a 4 Piece Meal for a 2 count. Nuggets tries keeping Claps grounded but Clappy catches him with a Clap Dance for a 2 count of his own. Nuggets tackles Clappy into the turnbuckle and continuously drives Clappy's ribs into it with repeating shoulder blocks. Nugs sets Clappy up for a 10 Piece Meal now, but Clappy fights out and smacks Nugs around with some Clap Slaps before beating Nuggets around with The Technique. He motions for The Inquiry and nails it, planting Nuggets face-first into the mat for the pin and the win. Clappy celebrates and poses on the turnbuckle as Nuggets stares a hole into him from the mat. He gets up to his feet and gets into Clappy's face. They smile and shake hands once again, Nuggets leaving Clappy to his celebration.

Match #2: Dylan vs jjsthekid

jjsthekid enters the ring first, the announcers playing up his tenure on the staff and the awards and accolades he has garnered himself over the years for his contributions. Dylan comes out next, flipping his hair, as the announcers play up his achievements as well compared to those of Jjs', as well as playing him up as major innovator. The bell rings and Jjs offers Dylan a handshake. Dylan flips his hair again, and briefly shakes his hand before smacking it away and kicking Jjs in the stomach. Dylan beats Jjs into the corner with a flurry of rights and lefts, beating Jjs around senseless. He whips Jjs into the opposite corner and follows in order to tackle him into, but Jjs lifts his arm up, catching Dylan right in the face with a shoulder block. Dylan reels back as Jjs gets on his own offensive with some fast-paces, high flying maneuvers. Jjs takes Dylan down with a tornado DDT, following it up with a drop kick straight to Dylan's face. Jjs covers for a 2 count, but Dylan surprises him with a roll-up, but falls short of a 3. Jjs kicks Dylan around before bouncing off the ropes for a Storm Racer, but Dylan catches Jjs by surprise with a powerful shoulder block in midair, knocking the wind out of Jjs as well as sending him flying away. Dylan picks Jjs up effortlessly for The Applause for the 3 count! Dylan knocks Jjs out of his ring as he flips his hair and basks in the glory of having taken Jjs off his pedestal.

Match #3: Wumbology vs Teenj

Wumbology is out to the ring first, the announcers playing up his long-storied tenure as a member of the staff, ranging from cashier to manager to cashier again, as well as his no-nonsense attitude when it comes to executed his actions. Teenj is next to come out and the announcers compares his reign on the staff and his similar executive actions to his opponent. Wumbo and Teenj circle each other in the ring as the bell rings, starting up the match. Wumbo and Teenj trade blows right as the bell sounds, going all out on eachother. They clock each other with simultaneous right hooks, knocking each other away. They take a little breather before grappling with eachother, exchanging control over the other. Teenj wrestles control away from Wumbo and nails him with one Karate Chop after the other. Wumbo manages to dodge one of these wild chops and proceeds to lay some Big Breaks into Teenj without mercy. Teenj eventually manages to fight back and takes Wumbo down with an iVlog. Teenj ascends the top rope and goes for the Airborne Disease but Wumbo rolls out of the way. Wumbo sizes up Teenj as he gets back to his feet and plants him back down with The Wumbooty to secure himself his first win! After the match, Wumbo locks a metal padlock onto Teenj before dragging him backstage and tossing him into the trash.

Match #4: Ssj4gogita4 vs Mr Dr Professor Patrick

Ssj is out first as the announcers hype up his dual tenure as an admin of both SBC and SBM, which he has led for a decade. hilaryfan80 follows up, the announcers playing up all his contributions to SBC over the years as both a Fry Cook and a Manager, also bringing up his membership at SBM. They trade a flurry of blows DBZ-style before Ssj breaks their combo with a Saturday Crush. He plants hilaryfan80 down with a Galick Gun before finishing hilaryfan80 off with a Big Ban Attack without mercy. He covers and gets the win after making surprisingly short work of his opponent. After the match, Ssj continues his assault, tossing hilaryfan80 out of the ring with authority with a powerful Dragon Throw.

Backstage Interview #1

Kevin NG is standing by with Clappy for a quick word. Clappy says it was an honor to step into the ring with Nuggets and that he's ready for anything else the night may throw at him. Kevin begins asking some deep personal questions out of nowhere, but they're interrupted by Dylan, who flips his hair as he enters the scene, spraying Clappy and Kevin with sweat. He says that Kevin should be talking to him, the man who brought SBC back from the brink, but Clappy takes offense to this. They get into each others face and Clappy tells Dylan that he may have brought SBC to newer and greater heights, but that's he's not half the leader Nuggets is. Dylan posts a gif that displays his discontempt before telling Clappy that he once beats him in that ring, that'll make him better than both him and Nuggets. He flips his hair again before heading to the ring.

Match # 5: Clappy vs Dylan

Dylan is out first, since he lives by the first is the worst mantra, and basks in the mixed reaction of the fans. Clappy is out next and claps and slaps hands with a bunch of the guests in attendance at ringside. The bell sounds and Dylan starts the match off by blindsiding Clappy, shoulder blocking him off his feet pummeling his face into the ground. Clappy manages to get Dylan off his by clapping both his hands against Dylan's head, disorienting him. Claps nails Dylan with a flurry of Clap Slaps and backs Dylan up against the turnbuckle,beating him into the corner. Clappy steps back and charges at Dylan for a Pierce in the City, but Dylan sidesteps out of the way and Clappy collides shoulder-first into the steel post. Dylan grabs him and throws Clappy repeated into the steel corner shoulder-first, weakening it some more. He picks Clappy up and ironically gives him The Applause to secure himself a place in the tournament finals and one step closer to the World Title.

Backstage Interview #2

Kevin NG is now backstage with Ssj and plays it up to him before asking him how he completely dismantled hilaryfan80. Ssj says it's because hilaryfan80 touches himself at night before he's interrupted by Wumbo, who thanks Ssj for his unnecessary and somewhat spammy response. Wumbo tells them that he fully intends on finally attaining the glory he feels he finally deserves tonight and that Ssj is just a stepping stone to just that. Ssj remarks that he will do to Wumbo what he did to hilaryfan80, but Wumbo retorts that he will do to Ssj what he did to Teenj, dispose of him like trash.

Match #6: Wumbo vs Ssj

Wumbo is out first, followed by Ssj. The announcers play up the fact that Wumbo actually looks up to Ssj and that this could very well be the match that could really break Wumbo away from the pack, but that Ssj is no pushover when push comes to shove and that he takes no prisoners. They tangle up, Ssj slowly gaining control over his opponent. Ssj lays into Wumbo with some Nightly Touches before planting Wumbo to the ground with a Kamehameha Wave. Ssj continues pummeling away at Wumbo with repeated Ki Blasts and looks to finish Wumbo off early with a Big Ban Attack, but Wumbo suddenly springs into action and counters Ssj into his patented Lock Lock. Wumbo struggles to keep the hold locked in and wrenches away on Ssj, who tries hanging on and reaching the ropes, but Wumbo pulls him away from the ropes without mercy, leaving Ssj with no other option but to tap out to give Wumbo the surprising submission victory and the last spot in the finals against Dylan. Wumbo attempt to put his metal padlock on Ssj after the match, but ssj manages to slide out of the ring and head to the back before he had the chance.

Main Event: Dylan vs Wumbo

Dylan immediately hits the stage following Wumbo's match, flipping his hair in Ssj's face as Ssj walks past him on the ramp. Dylan slowly makes his way to the ring, basking in the audience's reaction towards him, living for their applause. Wumbo stares him down from the ring, visibly still beaten up from his previous match that just took place. The announcers says Dylan had ample time to heal up before this match and that Wumbo is fresh for the pickings. They play up the tumultuous history between the two on the staff before the bell rings for the match to start. Wumbo charges Dylan but Dylan knocks him right of his feet with a powerful shoulder block. Dylan mounts Wumbo and rides him like a horsey around the ring before pummeling him into the mat with some hard right hands. Dylan gets up and proceeds to stomp away at Wumbo before picking him up and tackling him into the corner turnbuckle. He rams into Wumbo some more before retreating back and looking to charge right at Wumbo into the corner, but before Dylan could connect, Wumbo leap frogs him. Dylan eats nothing but corner steel as Wumbo quickly rolls him up for a 3 count but Dylan kicks out at 2 and a half. They both get up to their feet at the same time and Dylan looks to plant Wumbo Into The Abyss, but Wumbo fights out and looks to take Dylan out with a Coral Driver. Dylan backdrops out of it, sending Wumbo flying overhead. He picks Wumbo up for The Applause but Wumbo counters him into the Lock Lock. Wumbo wrenches away on Dylan now, who manages to muster up the strength to pull himself to the bottom rope and grabbing hold of it, forcing Wumbo to break the hold. Wumbo gets up and kicks away at Dylan as he collects his breath on the mat. Dylan tries surprising him with another Applause and nails it. Dylan makes the cover but Wumbo gets his foot on the bottom rope, interrupting the count rig before the 3. Dylan pulls his foot off and covers him tightly again but Wumbo manages to kick out right before the 3 again. Dylan gets up and fuels himself by basking in the crowd's applause. He sizes Wumbo up and charges at him for a shoulder tackle, but Wumbo calculates this and surprises Dylan by scooping him up mid-charge and hitting him in the middle of the ring with nothing but Oink! Wumbo makes the cover and gets the 3 count to win the tourney and the World Title!

Closing Segment

Wumbo gets onto his knees in triumph, tearing up as the referee bestows the SBC World Title onto him. He secures it around his waist and poses with it on top of the turnbuckles as Dylan fumes on the outside of the ring. The announcers play up Wumbo's huge and decisive victory before signing off.

Spoiler

Quick Results & Notes

1) Clappy def. Nuggets by pinfall

2) Dylan def. jjsthekid by pinfall

3) Wumbo def. Teenj by pinfall

4) Ssj def. hilaryfan80 by pinfall

5) Dylan def. Clappy by pinfall

6) Wumbo def. Ssj by submission

7) Wumbo def. Dylan by pinfall

- Wumbo is the first user to be crowned as the SBC World Champion

[Doctor Sex]

If you only a certain communication device of yours was connected these stories would be more intriguing

[SpongeOddFan]

make me vs Wumbo in a TLC match, OMJ

 

anyways, loved it, keep it great work.

[Burgerpants]

How dare SSJ be beaten...

[Old Man Jenkins]

Sponge Brawl Championship Wrestling Episode 2: World's Funniest

We are welcomed to the first episode of SBC Wrestling by broadcast announcers, 4EverGreen and SpongeSebastian. They hype up the Tournament of Staff that took place during the last episode, where Wumbology was crowned the first ever SBC World Champion by outlasting other high-ranking staff members. The ring is set up with a couch, so e chairs, and a television monitor showing the logo for JCMterviews.

Opening Segment

JCM comes out to the ring with a mic in hand in order to host the first ever in-ring edition of JCMterviews. He pulls out some of his trademark sarcastic wit to somewhat mock the guests in attendance before bringing out his first guest for his inaugural interview, SBC World Champion, Wumbology! Wumbo comes out with the title secured tightly around his waist to a round of applause. He enters the ring and JCM offers him a seat. JCM asks Wumbo if he ever thought he'd ever find himself being crowned the first World Champion in SBC history. Wumbo says he never thought it'd happen, thinking he would only come up short in the end, but he proved everyone and himself wrong by being the last staff standing once the night was over. JCM sarcastically mentions there's a former staff member here that he never got a win over yet. Wumbo asks who it is, to which JCM is about to sarcastically reply is himself, but he gets cut off by Old Man Jenkins, who comes out with a mic of his own. OMJ says it's him, which JCM takes offense to. JCM says this is his show, not some random cameo appearance. OMJ ignores him and gets right in Wumbo's face and challenges him for the title. Before Wumbo could respond, JCM interrupts and says he's the funniest member here, therefore he should challenge for the World Ttile. Wumbo gets in JCM's face now, thanking him for that unnecessary and somewhat spammy reason. OMJ butts back in, saying he's been voted most funniest more than the two of them combined. They all argue and tell the best jokes they can think of on the fly before JCM nails Wumbo in the head with a Punchline, mic in hand. JCM begins kicking him while he's down and OMJ quickly joins in the assault on the champion. They both grab hold of the World Title and tug-o-war for it as Clappy makes his way to the ring and gives them each a couple of Clap Slaps. Wumbo rejoins the fray knocks OMJ out of the ring with a Wumbo Wing as Clappy sends JCM to the outside by giving him The Clap. The Glove World Manager comes out now and makes Wumbo & Clappy vs JCM & OMJ the main event for later tonight. Wumbo and Clappy nod heads at each other in approval as OMJ and JCM don't seem to like this one bit.

Match #1: jjsthekid vs ssj4gogita4

Jjs is out first, followed by ssj. Sebastian plays up the mutual respect these two have for eachother while 4EverGreen tells him that's enough said. Jjs and ssj shake hands out of respect as the bell rings. They tangle up, ssj getting the advantage due to his superior experience and technical know-how. He slams Jjs against the mat a good couple of times before throwing him into the ropes. Jjs jumps and ricochets off, grabbing and planting ssj with a Tornado Zone for a 2 count. Jjs pulls ssj back up, only to get pelted some Ki Blasts before clocking Jjs with a Dragon Fist. He covers but Jjs kicks out at 2 and a half. Ssj sets Jjs up for a Touch Yourself At Night, but Jjs counters out with a Storm Racer out of nowhere. He quickly rolls ssj into a hard position to kick out from, getting the 3 count and the victory! Jjs hits the turnbuckles in order to celebrate his victory, but gets pulled down from behind by ssj, who plants him down hard by making him touch himself at night. Ssj stands over Jjs for a bit, proclaiming himself to be the prince of all saiyans before leaving him laid out in the ring.

In-Ring Segment #1

Dylan fabulously makes his extravagant entrance to the ring with a custom-made microphone in hand. He flips his hair at the audience, dousing them in what appears to be his sweat. He enters the ring and begins filing his grievances about Wumbo defeating him in the tournament last week. He says that Wumbo got by only on a fluke and that he is SBC's uncrowned champion. He demands to be the first in line for a title shot and that no one can tell him otherwise. Aquatic Nuggets comes out and interrupts Dylan, saying that if he wants a place at the front of the line, he's gonna have to fight for it. Dylan tells Nuggets to get the fuck on Skype and get the fuck out of his ring for he is beneath him. The Glove World Manager comes out now and tells them that if they want to fight for the World Title so badly, why not give each other a warm by fighting each other right now.

Match #2: Aquatic Nuggets vs Dylan

Dylan immediately pounces on Nuggets from behind to give himself an early advantage, but Nuggets slowly fights back and wrestles Dylan into a corner, beating him against the turnbuckle with a 6 Piece Meal before throwing him into the opposite corner hard. Nuggets goes to charge into Dylan in the corner, but Dylan pounces out and turns Nuggets inside-out with a clothesline out of nowhere. Nuggets looks to rebound but Dylan runs the ropes and takes Nuggets down with another stiff clothesline. He stomps and beat down on Nuggets, pulling him up for a Down Under that only gets him a two count. He picks Nuggets back up, but Nuggets grabs him and plants him down with a Doody Era, but also gets a 2 count. Nuggets gets in his zone and goes to pick Dylan back up but gets a thumb right to the eye. Dylan maneuvers Nuggets in to give him The Applause, but the director in chief powers out takes Dylan out with a Dimension Hopper Pants. Nuggets gets the 3 count to secure himself his first victory! Nuggets poses over Dylan before exiting the ring and slapping hands with the guests at ringside as Dylan realizes what just happened and gets a little absolutely pissed off in the ring.

Backstage Segment #1

Elastic Dog and Dr. Sex are seen in the basement backstage, watching some old, obscure, Italian arthouse movies. In 3D. They compliment on the visuals being way ahead of their time before realizing that they have a match up next. They pause what they're watching and ascend the basement stairs for their match, which is up next.

Backstage Interview #1

Kevin NG is seen standing by with Unlimitedcha and Sauce Mama, The Orange Anns. Kevin asks them about their upcoming debut match against Elastic Dog and Dr. Sex, The Butthole Surfers. Cha says that the Orange Ann's are here to be feared and that the Butthole Surfers will be their first stepping stone to total greatness. Sauce translates what Cha just said in Saucenese before Kevin asks Sauce about when she's gonna fight Aya. The Orange Ann's just leave Kevin without an answer, crushing his hopes and dreams.

Match #3: The Butthole Surfers vs The Orange Anns

Elastic and Sex hit the ring first. They trot around the ring before giving two lucky guests in the front row the 3D glasses they were wearing. Sauce and Cha are out next. Cha is dressed in a cowboy hat, hula skirt, lei and jester shoes. She takes away the glasses Elastic gave to his guest before bestowing upon that guest her hat. Sauce takes her time giving the guests high fives and words of encouragement through Saucenese. The two teams enter the ring, Cha and Elastic both volunteering to start the match off as the bell sounds off. Cha and Elastic go after each other back and forth, evenly matched until Elastic chomps down on Cha with his signature Elastic Dog Bite. He pulls her into his corner, mauling her before tagging Sex in. They double stomp her in the corner before the Doctor goes to work on his patient. Bringing her down with an Inhaler, but Sauce interrupts the three count. The ref sends her back to her corner, but Sex retaliates by slapping her off the ring apron for interrupting his count. This buys Cha enough time to recuperate and nail Sex with a some Unlimitedchops without remorse. She beats him into her corner and tags Sauce in. Cha holds Sex up as Sauce bats him with her eyelashes. Elastic calls Sex out for a tag but he just too far away. Sauce slams him with her Eyelash Wish for a 2 count. She picks him back up but he slaps her again before blasting her in the face with a Face Lift. He slowly gets back to his corner as Sauce tags Cha back in to go after him, but she comes up short as Sex leaps and makes the tag to E-Dawg. Elastic evades her attack before taking her down with The Fritz. He sets Cha up for a Nine Lives, but Sauce gets up behind him, turns him around and sprays him in the eyes with her Maddie's Magical Magic. Blinded, Elastic unknowingly stumbles into The Orange Ann's signature Agent Orange double team maneuver. Cha makes the cover and secures the win for The Ann's. They hug and celebrate in the ring as the Doctor checks up on his tag team partner.

Backstage Segment #2

JCM is seen in his sharing time admiring Samuel L. Jackson in the mirror when OMJ barges in on him. OMJ tells him that he's willing to put all things aside for the sake of their match against the champ and Clappy tonight. JCM sarcastically agrees before calling OMJ out on a certain award he felt he didn't deserve.

Backstage Interview #2

Kevin NG is standing by with the World Champion, Wumbology, and his tag team partner tonight, Clappy. Kevin mentions their history together and Wumbo and Clappy both mentioned that they have been friends and colleagues for quite some time, even working together every now and then, most notably with OMJ on Skodwarde. Clappy tells Wumbo that he didn't make the save for him earlier just to win over as world title shot, he did it because he knew Wumbo would do the same if he were in his position. Wumbo agrees, saying that he knows Clappy ain't like that. He then turns his attention towards JCM and OMJ, telling them that if they each want a shot so badly, they better put up or shut up, eh. Wumbo and Clappy leave Kevin mid-question for their main event match up next.

Main Event: JCM and OMJ vs Wumbo and Clappy

JCM comes out first for his team, webslinging to the ring since he is Spider-Man and everything. OMJ soon follows, charging into the ring a bit blazed but still in a good enough state to kick some ass. Clappy comes out next for his team, clapping hands with the guests in attendance as he makes his way down. The SBC World Champion is the last to come out, with his signature lock and trash bin in hand with his title around his waist. They all enter the ring, with OMJ and Wumbo starting the match off. They tangle for a good bit with OMJ eventually power moving Wumbo around with a few hard Seismic Slams. He sizes Wumbo for a Hawaiian Superman Punch, but catches him in the knick of time and hits the old man with nothing but Oink. He covers but OMJ kicks out at 2. He picks OMJ up and looks to throw him into his corner, but OMJ swings back and whips Wumbo hard back into his corner instead, tagging in JCM and nailing the champ with a double suplex. JCM maintains control over the champ as Clappy rallies the crowd up by clapping in order to power Wumbo on. JCM goes for another Punchline, but Wumbo ducks it and decks JCM with a Wumbo Wing, buying him enough time to make the hot tag to the Clapmaster, who goes to town on JCM with multiple Clap Slaps. He takes JCM back into his corner and tags Wumbo back in, planting JCM down with a double DDT. Wumbo picks him up tosses him into the ropes, JCM ricochets back and surprises Wumbo with a Punchline. JCM lands hard from the move, but crawls his way towards his corner. Wumbo, still reeling from the Punchline, slowly makes his way towards his own corner. OMJ and Clappy both reach their hands out to their fallen partners, itching to get tagged in to finish things. SpongeSebastian hypes up a potential collision course between OMJ and Clappy so soon. JCM and Wumbo lunge at their respective partner for the hot tag simultaneously, but OMJ pulls back his hand and hops off the ring apron, as does Clappy. They both smirk as JCM and Wumbo look at them bewildered. JCM and Wumbo each scold their partners for seemingly abandoning. JCM looks back and sees Wumbo distracted, looking to take advantage by sneaking at Wumbo from behind but the champion hears his charging footsteps coming and sidesteps out of the way. JCM runs face first into the steel ring post and stumbles back into a Coral Driver courtesy of the world champ. Wumbo makes the cover and gets the victory for his "team".

Closing Segment

JCM rolls off to the sides in pain towards OMJ, who pulls him out of the ring and violently throws him head first into the steel steps before stomping his head back into the steel and the ground. Wumbo gets into a war of words with Clappy over what just went on. Clappy gets into the ring to confront him and Wumbo gets in his face. OMJ enters from the other side and Wumbo slowly finds himself surrounded on both sides. Wumbo goes to clock Clappy in the face with a Wumbo Wing, but Clappy blocks it and hits Wumbo hard in the face with a Clap Slap. Wumbo reels back and turns right into a Hawaiian Superman Punch from OMJ. Clappy and OMJ proceed to beat down the champion in a 2-on-1 assault. Clappy grabs Wumbo by the legs and positions him for a Clapapult. OMJ charges and bounces off the ring ropes as Clappy catapults Wumbo up into the air for OMJ to nail him with a Cannonball Jenkins in mid air, crashing the champion down hard to the mat. OMJ and Clappy merely smirk before posing over the fallen champion as 4EverGreen signs off. Enough Said!

Spoiler

Quick Result and Notes

- jjsthekid def. ssj4gogita4

- Aquatic Nuggets def. Dylan

- The Orange Ann's (Cha & Sauce) def. The Butthole Surfers (Elastic & Sex)

- Wumbo and Clappy def. JCM and OMJ

- The debuts of The Glove World Manager, JCM, OMJ, Cha, Sauce, Elastic and Sex

- The first edition of JCMterviews

[Doctor Sex]

I should get Elastic to read these they're great

[Old Man Jenkins]

Here's something new, inspired by Superjail!

Supercommunity! Episode 1: Noodle Love

The scene opens up to Newleaffan's posting up someone else's YouTube videos and pasting them off as his own spinoff. Wumbot, the Director of Security, drills his way onto the scene with his lock and chains. He uses the chains as a lasso and ties it around Newleaf's neck. He swings him around and beats him against floor boards before beating his face into a pulp with the lock.

Wumbot: Last I checked, posting YouTube videos of other people's work doesn't fall under the category of spin-offs or lits.

Wumbot grabs Newleaf by the chain, hoists him up into the air and proceeds to fly over the Supercommunity in order to ban him from the premises. ooooooofy gets caught up in the the carnage and Wumbo makes it up to her by shooting forum cookies right into her face. They fly over Calvin Reynolds driving his car off a cliff, Teenj repeatedly refreshing the Team SpongeBob thread in order to get more views, and WhaleBlubber getting everyone banned before finally approaching the Dylanus cloud and dumping Newleaf off at the Takin' Out The Trash site.

Meanwhile in the Krusty Tower Check-In station, DanGULK has just joined Supercommunity!

DanGULK: Hi der. I am just a guy from Megamania (still a newb on there) and since everyone has one, I thought I should get one as well.

OpenWindowManiac: Welcome to SBC. Keep your windows closed, beware of gay squids, and we'll get along nicely.

Sauce Mama: I'm Sauce, welcome to SBC!

Unlimitedcha: Aloha and howdy, welcome to SBC.

Suddenly, The Director in Chief himself arrives on his Gaga Swan.

The Director: Hola, welcome to Supercommunity! Now say hello to your tour guide, Aya

DanGULK gets his face punched in.

Aya: Tour's over, bitch.

Aya leaves Dan laying in a now bloody and broken heap. She takes out one of the bones from his body and passes it along to Clapmaster, who gives the bone to his dog, Murphy.

ZaidCatDog: Hey Murphy! I've got a bone for you right here! I'm talking about my penis

Clapmaster gets Murphy to attack and bite at Zaid's crotch, blood splattering around.

ZaidCatDog: AAAHHHOOOWWWHHHAAAHHHH

Murphy walks back with a different kind of bone in his mouth.

Director of Human Resources, Ssj, approaches Aya with Mod For A Day.

Ssj: It's showtime, limey.

Aya puts herself out on display and posts a bunch of pictures of her face and hair to ssj's delight and pleasure. Just then, ssj receives a skype call from Deputy Director in Chief, Jibbix, who's sweating nuggets buckets.

Jibbix: ssj, where are you?! You're late for the Monday morning staff meeting with the Director and-

Ssj cuts him off and leaves Aya and her pictures.

Aya: Why won't you make me admin?

Ssj: Because you touch yourself at night.

Ssj tosses the mod for a day and his ipad down the trash chute, which are then caught by The Buttholes, Sex and Elastic. Some Anal Cunt plays in the background

Elastic: Yummy, information.

Sex: Yummy, power

Sex rubs the power against his nipples.

Ssj barges into the staff lounge where Jibbix is sweating.

Jibbix: Ssj! I've been trying to get you to get on Skype all morning! Why weren't you returning any of my calls?!

Ssj: Because you touch yourself at night.

An egg rolls into the staff lounge and the Director hatches out of it.

The Director: Hello ssj.

Jibbix: Hello sir!

The Director: So, lay it on me

Jibbix: Well, we've received reports that the Wiki still aren't complying with the conversion to SpongeBase, the Social Groups are so inactive that the dead are rising and leaving it too and one sentence joke spinoffs are running rampant in the Creative Writing section! If you ask me, I think it's the Buttholes, sir! We should really look into suspending and limiting their privileges!

The Director: The Buttholes, Jibbix? Don't worry your sweaty little head, hon, and just let me worry about The Buttholes.

Ssj: Wumbot also caught, locked, and trashed a repeat offender in the spinoff section. First day back and the punk couldn't let it go by without breaking a rule.

The Director: Sometimes I wonder why I even still have that Wumbooty on my staff. He's out going after petty, menial matters when there's more meaningful shit afoot! Like the umpteenth return of Down Under!

Jibbix: CloudFlare is also threatening to shut our servers down, sir! If we don't pay them within excess of $500, we could be looking at a community-wide blackout!

The Director: Puh-lease, they threaten to shut us down all the time and look at us! We still keep going and going! We're like that cute, little battery bunny with the drum.

Jibbix: We're only getting by on IOU's sir and this time, it just won't it!

The Director: Then fine, we'll just pay the greedy bastards off already! No skin off my bones

Jibbix: But sir, we don't even have a fraction of that amount saved up in our funds!

The Director: Then where are our funds going, Jibbix? I also placed you as Director of Treasury for a reason and you're making me look bad in the eyes of my peers!

Jibbix: They've all gone into new features and community skins and designs that nobody here even use! Features and skins you have authorized yourself, sir!

The Director: Jibbix, Ssj, you both have to understand that being a community runner is hard.

Ssj: Preacher to the choir on that one.

The Director: When I totally did not wrestled control of this community away from 70s, I took initiative to take this place to newer, higher heights. Make it see sights that it never seen before nor will it ever see again! Gaiz, I'm constantly thinking, planning out new ways to innovate in order to separate ourselves from the pack. And all of my hard work has led us to where we are today, THE SPONGEBOB UNIVERSE!

Ssj: What pack? You've pretty much combined every somewhat still relevant SpongeBob site out there under one network. Besides Megamania of course.

The Director: And people dare mistake it as me trying to turn this place into a business when clearly I am just "monopolizing" the SpongeBob market. You know, like the game! You two should play it one of these days!

Jibbix: But sir, we kinda are a business. We're selling adspace, we make bank (terribly), you've given us all official job titles over our respective departments. We even refer to our users here as "Customers"!

The Director: WAIT! I feel another innovative idea coming on- I GOT IT! Jibbix, I want you, yes you, to host Supercommunity Monopoly on Wednesdays. Make sure to put that out on the next edition of Supercommunity News, which you will also be hosting

Jibbix: But sir, that takes money-

The Director: No "but sir"s little nugglet. Hold on, Im getting yet another innovative thought- YES, THAT'S IT! We've got to have money, right? How's about we "reward" our users with a new "premium team package!" 5000 doublooroonies for a chance for a limegreen username and we'll even throw in one of those cute, little Good Noodle stars from the show underneath it. And the benefits, oh the benefits of being in the know of Supercommunity goings-on and being able to store 70% of private messages and a 25% discount off at the Supercommunity Store! It's a steal that steals itself.

Jibbix: But sir-

The Director: It's a win-win situation. The dinero will come flowing in and our users will finally make use of something for once!

Jibbix: But it's gonna take time and money! Neither of which we have!

The Director: We will if you get a head staaaaart *kicks Jibbix out of the staff xat* so ssj, walk with me, talk with me, what are you doing later?

Ssj: Not you.

We see Jibbix stressing over what he's been dealt with on his computer.

Jibbix: This won't work! This definitely will not work out! Maybe if Shin, Jelly, SG and Clappy all decide to chip in, but I can't start up yet another Supercommunity game night and get another episode of Supercommunity News up on such short notice! We just don't have the resources! Maybe if I remove the social groups, but that still won't be enough. Hmmm, nobody use those fish avatars. I can probably get those outta here too. The shop is looking pretty bloated, maybe I can take a few things out of there. Maybe take everything out of there. Colored usernames in the forums? Who needs that amirite- OH FUCK IT! I'm just gonna have to gut this entire place out to make way for this stuff. I don't care what the Director says! No more Orca or Splash layouts! Nothing but Oceans and Tiki!

Some nuggets and batteries pops out of his desk drawer.

Batteries: Hey Big Nugs, maybe we can help

Jibbix: *shuts the drawer closed* I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF MY ZONE!

Elastic, Sex and more Anal Cunt catches wind of these developments and teleports to Elastic's basement where they put on their 3D glasses. They fuck around with Jibbix's order and coding for the Good Noodles team.

Elastic: It looks like the Director is up to something.

Sex: He's offering Good Noodle privileges for a nominal fee.

Elastic: Quite the steal that steals itself, wouldn't you say?

Sex: Sounds pretty gay, to be honest.

Elastic: Lets straighten it out a bit.

Sex: A new team that costs 4000 doubloons to join.

Elastic: Can store up to 80% of private messages.

Sex: A 15% discount at the Supercommunity Store.

Elastic: And gets their exclusive staff inside scoops three days later.

Thus, the Krusty Krushers were born!

The Buttholes: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ssj enters the Community Showers.

Ssj: Alright, time for you all night touchers to pick your teams. 4000-5000 upfront.

CDCB joins the Krusty Krushers while CNF joins the Good Noodles.

CNF: Gee CDCB, I really wish you'd put the toilet seat down!

CDCB: I wish you wouldn't mix up my VHS tapes!

CNF: Typical inconsiderate Krusher!

CDCB: Typical sloppy Noodle!

CNF: You know what, here! You can take your PB&J Otter videotape back, I don't want it! *breaks it*

CDCB: Ahhh! You broke my VHS tape in broad daylight! * takes out his sword and sticks it into CNF*

At the Community Store, Cha and Sauce are out buying hats.

Cha: Gosh dangit, I don't have enough for that cowboy hat. Even with my Krusher discount

Sauce: I can take 20 with my Noodle discount!

Cha: You bitch!

Cha takes out her sword but Sauce blocks it with her staff. Sauce twirls her staff around and shoots a fire blast at Cha with it, setting her on fire. Cha runs out of the store ablaze and catches Good Noodle, Webby, on fire. Omair arrives and decapitates Sauce with his sword before slicing Webby in half. Metal Snake slithers on by and bites off Omair's monobrow. JCM makes a cameo by slaying Metal Snake. Sabre shoves his staff down JCM's throat and right out his ass. OMJ punches through Sabre's face but gets frozen by Doogle and smashed to pieces by Jelly before they both get bisected by SpongeSebastian.

Jibbix: Oh dear Neptune, what have I done! The Director is gonna kill me for letting the situation get this out of hand! It's back to Mickey D's for poor old Nuggets!

The Director: Kill you? I should applaud you for getting something done right for once!

Jibbix: Sir, this wasnt my doing, I swear! It was the Buttholes!

The Director: Ssj, honey, I set the wheels in motion and to the untrained eye, things have descended into a state of disarray, yet, it's under my control. My controlled chaos! You know history speaks for itself, controversy creates activity!

Jibbix: But the Buttholes, they've ruined everything!

The Director: Ssj, honey, they moved my plan along wonderfully! Innovation, Jibbix, you'll soon grasp onto that concept when you're Director in Chief one day, but today I wanna congratulate those two asshats. Wumbot, take us down there immediately!

Wumbot takes ssj, Jibbix and The Director to the Whatcha Listening To thread where Elastic and Sex are listening to underground hip hop.

The Director: Bravo, gentlemen, bravo

Elastic: We love the new features.

Sex: Very innovative

The Director: Smirk all you want, boys, because now comes the time for the big show. Ahem...ALL GOOD NOODLES ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!

The Good Noodles got angry and mean and takes the fight back to the Krusty Krushers. Jibbix jumps into The Director's arms, scared.

Jibbix: Sir, we should get outta here!

The Director: Hasta la vista, babies.

Wumbot takes the staff away as The Buttholes blast off to their basement to watch a Prom Night sequel. Milkmaid whacks Prez in the head with his staff, making Prez's eye gouge out and right into Box's throat. He chokes before cutting Spanky's spleen out with his sword. Spongeboblover slips on his entrails and cracks his head open, his sword flies into the air and impales CF, who blasts Lunch Pail into more obscurity than herself. Trophy pulls Someone's heart out with his fist and feeds it to Someone's Friend, who's staff comes into contact with the Golden Corral thread, which brings the Appetizer Bar to life.

Cyborg: Run for your life everyone! It's the appetizer!

The Appetizer rampages through the community and devours Teenj, Dragiiin and Ex before Shin attempts to run it down with his car and Steel blasts it with self doubt, which creates a hot mess of things. The appetizer splatters everywhere and burns everyone it comes into contact with. Some of the appetizer splashes onto the Trash site, freeing Newleaf from his punishments and he escapes into Supercommunity again amidst the chaos. Meanwhile, Aya finds Overlord for a Day in the rubble of the Supercommunity Store and goes to take it but she's stopped short of the administrative position by a piece of the Appetizer, which devours her.

[Cha]

Oh my god... that was priceless...

[kev]

I like it

[ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1]

I really need to watch Superjail.

[So Sejima]

Wow I am crazy

[Old Man Jenkins]

Here's something vintage from almost two years ago that I found that I may or may not continue.

Synopsis: On their way to a Spin-Off convention, members of the Spongebob Community ride along in their Krusty Train until a mysterious substance makes it's way through the ventilation shafts, gassing and knocking out the train's occupants. The SpongeBobbies each awaken in a remote part of what they believe to be home, but soon come to realize that this is all an elaborate back drop to something far more sinister. Taken against their wills by a powerful conglomerate from days long past, they all come to the startling revelation that they are to battle each other to the death until only one SpongeBobby is left standing using the resources that have been bestowed all around them. With a set of rigorous stipulations that further works against them, the Community members deal with the weight of untold secrets and lies in their collective fight to survive in this twisted, new world where everybody may not be who they seem.

Chapter One: Train of Consequences

September 19, 6:03 a.m., 70s' Sharing Times Condo

The sound of his alarm, which is playing some song by the Glee Cast, wakes 70s up. He rises up from his king size bed, wiping the crust out of his eyes before turning to look at a photo on his dresser drawer. He goes to pick it up. It's a photo of him, his wife Sara, and his children. He smiles at it, tearing up a little, before putting it back down on his drawer in it's original position. He gets up from bed and walks towards the window, opening up the curtains. He takes in the view he has over the Community and smiles again.

70s: Today's the big day, better make it all count.

The Xat, 6:56 a.m.

The Xat was popping that morning. A lot of people were checking in with suitcases and bags in tow. Elastic, Ex, Dragiiin, Fa, and Metal Snake were watching some YouTube videos on the big screen to pass by the time. JCM and person were chatting it up in their own little corner of the Xat, Smiles soon joining them. Unlimitedcat was greeting everyone that came by her general direction. Jjs was explaining some things to Steel and SOF in a Private Chatroom over a game of tic tac toe. CDCB, OMJ, and CF were watching some old Playhouse Disney videos on their own big screen. Doodle finished greeting UC and joined in on Ex's group's video viewing. Spongebobiscool and Bubble Bud were welcomed into Person's group and joined in on his and JCM's convo. Deli and Hasfarr were stopped by UC and they proceeded to chat about Muppets. SpongeSebastian was running around, making sure things were in check and prepared, looking somewhat stressed out.

SpongeSebastian: *looking over his tablet* This doesn't look good.

Teenj: What is it?

SpongeSebastian: We seem to have somewhat of a food shortage for the trip. The Last two Krabby Patty deliveries have yet to arrive along with the fried oyster skins, and I doubt a lot of these people will survive off kelp shakes alone once the current supplies die down.

Teenj: Who's in charge of the food deliveries?

SpongeSebastian: I had Spongebobs1fan overlooking the deliveries since he's decided to stay back to watch over the Community while we're gone. It isn't like him to be late like this.

Teenj: Don't worry, I'll go check uup on him. *Goes to leave but back tracks after remembering something* Say, you haven't happened to see my sister around, have you? I'm kinda forced to take her along with us for the trip.

SpongeSebastian: Are you kidding me? I haven't seen her since the last time she logged on. lol. But surely she's around here somewhere. I'll keep an eye out for her while you go check up on the food.

Teenj: lol. Thanks Seb.

Teenj leaves the Xat right as Tvguy enters with Mothra and hilaryfan80 at his side.

Tvguy: Server report, Patrick?

hilaryfan80: Everything's running smoothly. The servers are stable and should remain that way throughout the entire trip just as long as nobody messes around with things.

Mothra: That Sbs1fan doesnt seem that bright to be tampering with anything.

Tvguy: It's that lack of comprehension that kind of has me on edge about leaving him in charge of things while we're gone.

hilaryfan80: You should have more faith in your fellow members, Tvguy.

Tvguy: Once they start proving themselves to be at least somewhat competent, then my confidence in them will show itself, but it'll be a cold day in hell when that happens.

They approach SpongeSeb.

Tvguy: How's things looking here, Seb?

SpongeSebastian: We're just having a minor setback in the food delivery, but Teenj has already gone out to take care of it. Other than that, we're just waiting for the rest of the members who'll be joining us on our trip to arrive.

Tvguy: A damn setback? >_> Didn't we put Sbs1fan in charge of delivering the goods?

SpongeSebastian:...Yes, but apparently something has come up.

Mothra: And you guys handpicked that guy to look after the place while we're gone? Smooth move there.

Tvguy: I really, really hope Teenj can resolve this.

Mothra: Ha.

The Arcade, 7:39 a.m.

The scene opens up to a shot of Shinya playing some DDR while Clappy and Wumbo are discussing some things over a game of Bejeweled.

Wumbo: So, you excited?

Clappy: About what?

Wumbo: The trip, of course. And having our chance to bring Skodwarde to a much more wider and broader audience.

Clappy: Yeah, it should be a good trip.

Wumbo: The lack enthusiasm there disturbs me a bit.

Clappy: It's just...whenever we have something all cool and fun planned out, something almost always happens to ruin ya know, the fun.

Wumbo: Aw, not everything we plan out is like that.

Clappy: What about my roast? The whole "Civil War" thing that put a hamper down on our holiday festivities last year? I could probably go on with a couple more.

Wumbo: Well, that's how shit usually is around here, but we always pull through and grow even stronger in the end.

Clappy: Really? You're gonna pull that out of that Wumbooty of your's.

Wumbo: I'm just saying that whenever shit goes down, we pull through, we learn to forgive and forgot, and we go on with how things were before said shit went down.

Clappy: Yes, a very repetitive occurrence that gets uhhh, repetitive.

Wumbo: And you don't think I find it repetitive? Trust me, it's as old as vinyl records but what are you gonna do? This shit's inevitable.

Clappy: And you don't think I know that? Of course it's inevitable. But like you said, what can we do?

Shinya walks up to them, wiping the sweat from his face after his DDR session.

Shinya: You can try ignoring it like I do.

Wumbo: If only it were that simple.

Clappy: What he said. ^

Shinya: What's so hard about it? Me, I keep out of most shit here. Just pop around and talk stories and stuff, then split, rinse, and repeat.

Clappy: Well, it's pretty hard to ignore it all, especially if you're as active around here as Wumbo and I are.

Wumbo: Sexually active.

Clappy: That too.

Shinya: Sorry for not taking interest in this Community as most people, but seriously, these are people we barely know about. Why pay them any mind about personal stuff? Just talk about our common interests and go on from there. Hell, for all we know, the Community could be run by a bunch of children.

Wumbo: It sorta kinda is predominantly run by teens and adolescents.

Shinya: Well there you go.

Clappy: You are a true character, Shinya, which is why I love you so much.

Shinya: Love you too, Clappy.

Wumbo: We better get going. We need to help prep the train for it's "maiden voyage". I truest you won't be attending, Shinya?

Shinya: I'll be there.

Wumbo: That's somewhat surprising.

Shinya: I don't have anything better to do and last I checked, this trip is free.

Clappy: Good to know you'll be there to represent the Spongebob Community alongside us, Shin-chan.

They all get up and leave for the Xat.

Glove World, 8:12 a.m.

Teenj is wandering around, looking for Sbs1fan. A stalled truck catches his eye and he runs up to it to see Sbs1fan checking on the contents inside the trailer.

Teenj: Sbs1, I've been looking everywhere for you. What the hell happened here?

Spongebobs1fan: Spambots, Teenj! They came out of nowhere and offered me some deals on Viagara before attacking the truck. I fired off a few warning shots and it drove them off, for now at least.

Teenj: How's the goods?

Spongebobs1fan: They're all good. Just a little shook up is all.

Teenj: Thank goodness. The Staff would have freaked if anything happened to this food.

Spongebobs1fan: I don't think we'll get far in this truck, though.

Teenj: Why's that?

Spongebobs1fan: Those damn Spambots slashed one of the tires. There's no spare and the nearest repair shop is a good distance away. We'll have to find a new mode of transport.

Teenj: I'll ring up Seb and see if he can send us something. *pulls out his iPhone and leaves Seb a message.*

The Xat, 8:17 a.m.

The scene opens up to 70s arriving with his bags in hand. He places them with the rest of the Staff's belongings and meets up with his fellow Staff members.

SpongeSebastian: 70s, fashionably late as usual.

70s: You expect anything less?

SpongeSebastian: No. Also, a few private messages came in your inbox. Don't want you missing out on your things before the trip. *Hands 70s his mail.*

70s: Thanks Seb. *Looks through them before opening a message from somebody named Guy Monty*

Seb's phone starts to ring and he goes to answer it.

SponegSebastian: Hey there, SpongeSebastian here.

Teenj: Seb, good news and bad news.

SpongeSebastian: *sighs* Proceed.

Teenj: Good news, I found Sbs1 and the food still in tact.

SpongeSebastian: The bad news?

Teenj: The truck that's carrying them has a flat tire. We need a new set of wheels to transport this stuff.

SpongeSebastian: What the hell happened there?

Teenj: Spambots, Seb. Apparently some of them are getting by the CAPTCHA system.

SpongeSebastian: Goddamn CAPTCHA! Ugh, we can't worry about that now. The train's supposed to depart at noon. I'll arrange to have another truck come your way. I'll send one of the Good Noodles to help you out.

Teenj: Sounds like a plan, Seb.

SpongeSebastian: And if those Spambots show up again. Don't hesitate to deal with them personally.

Teenj: I'll do what I can.

SpongeSebastian: Good. *hangs up*

Seb turns to see 70s still reading his message with a fixated look on his face.

SpongeSebastian: Letter from the family?

70s: What? Uh-no. Just another spam letter.

SpongeSebastian: Not from Jenny is it?

70s: Uh-thankfully, no.

SpongeSebastian: I still can't get over that last mass letter she sent. Some weird stuff. Your family's coming along for the trip, 70s?

70s: *Puts his messages away*...No, I'm afraid not. Prudence and the others got hit pretty bad with colds. Sara stayed back to look after them. I offered to stay but she wanted me to help out here.

SpongeSebastian: Aww, that's sad to hear I hope they get better soon.

70s: Thanks Seb.

SpongeSebastian: Oh Gld, I almost forgot. Excuse me, 70s.

70s: You're excused.

Seb goes to Ex's video group's corner and taps Ex on the shoulder.

Ex: For the last time Pers-*turns around to see it's Seb* Oh, Seb. What's up?

SpongeSebastian: I hate to intrude on anything here, but I need your assistance with something.

Ex: What is it?

SpongeSebastian: The food shipment has hit a minor setback and now we need a new mode of transport to bring it back here to store on the train. You mind if I ask you to help Teenj and Sbs1 out and bring the food back here?

Ex: Not all, man. I'd be happy to help you guys out.

SpongeSebastian: Thank you, Ex. You're a real trooper. Shame that you're not serving on the Staff with us.

Ex: Well Seb, life works in strange ways. I'd love to come back but just not at this time.

SpongeSebastian: Don't worry, I understand man. I just wish we had someone like you on Staff and not-

Tvguy: Status report, Seb. And please tell me Teenj actually found the food.

SpongeSebastian: Yes, he did. I was just about to send Ex out to bring a truck to them so they can transport it here.

Tvguy: What the hell happened to the truck we already sent there?

SpongeSebastian: Spambots, Tvguy. They apparently got by the CAPTCHA system.

Tvguy: Impossible. We had an upgraded version in place. No way no Spambot could make their way in here.

SpongeSebastian: APPARENTLY they did, TV.

Ex: I'll just go get that food now. *leaves the Xat*

Tvguy: Professor Doctor.

hilaryfan80: *Walks in from his PC with Mothra* You called?

Tvguy: APPARENTLY some Spambots made their way pass the CAPTCHA system.

hilaryfan80: No way, that's nearly impossible with the new upgrade I patched on.

Tvguy: That's exactly what I told Seb here, but he believes otherwise.

hilaryfan80: lol.

Tvguy: You mind checking up on it in the Control Panel, just to be safe.

hilaryfan80: Not at all. *Leaves with Mothra and heads to the Control Panel*

Tvguy: I hope you aren't making me waste their time on this.

SpongeSebastian: Tvguy, it sounded pretty legit. Teenj said so, himself.

Tvguy: Well, Teenj is a complete idiot at times if you haven't noticed.

SpongeSebastian: That's kind of crossing the line, don't you think?

Tvguy: Irrelevant. Make sure the train is fully operational. We don't want to be traveling for 19 hours on some dud.

SpongeSebastian: I'll get on it.

Tvguy: That's something I like to hear, more often.

Tvguy leaves Seb to his work and approaches 70s, who is digging through his bag for something.

Tvguy: Ah, good to see you here for once, Calvin. I was beginning to think you were starting to forget about us. lol.

70s: *zips up his bag* Are you kidding? I wouldn't want to miss this for anything. I can finally get Bikini Top really out there to the general audience.

Tvguy: I see, so if it concerns you, you take interest?

70s: Don't twist my words, man.

Tvguy: Dont get your panties in a twist, I was only joking around.

70s: Yeah, right.

Tvguy: Look ,I know we haven't exactly seen things eye to eye before, but believe me when I say that I want to let bygones be bygones.

70s: Meaning?

Tvguy: I mean forget about the past and at least try to co-exist long enough for the benefit of everyone.

70s: And when did you become everybody's best friend?

Tvguy: Why do you have to be like that, man?

70s: Start proving that you're a man of your word and not flat out bury people all the time, then we'll talk.

Tvguy: So be it. You want me to be a man of my word, I'll be an honest man, an upstanding individual. I'll be a changed man, just for you.

70s: Yeah, good luck with that.

70s left Tvguy at that, heading into a PC of his own. Clappy and Wumbo were in their own PC, eavesdropping on their convo.

Wumbo: Same old song and dance, eh Claps?

Clappy: How much you wanna bet we get into a another Civil War duringnour trip?

Wumbo: Haha, boy would I bet on it, but between the two, 70s has my support by a landslide.

Clappy: I don't try to play politics. This is a forum about a children's cartoon after all.

Wumbo: Very true.

Elastic, Metal Snake, Fa and Dragiiin were in their own PC.

Elastic: Nothing beats some good old 70's horror movies.

Dragiiin: he just slammed in the head with a sledgehammer. somebody call SOF IN HER!!!

Metal Snake: This is...interesting.

Fa: Not bad, better than the remake.

Person, Spongebobiscool, Bubble Bud, and JCM barged into their PC.

Person: Hello Fa.

Fa: Hello Person.

JCM: Metal Snake.

Metal Snake: JCM.

Spongebobiscool: Clappy.

Elastic: He's not here.

Bubble Bud: Dragiiin.

Dragiiin: SOME GAI I DONT NOW!

Person: You guys discussing Spongebob in here?

Elastic: Obviously no-

Bubble Bud: Seasons 1-3 were the best IMHO.

Fa: Tell us something we don't know.

JCM: At least Spongebob is tolerable. Can's say the same for MLP.

Dragiiin: TAKE THAT BACK DOCK!

Metal Snake: Have you ever taken the time to actually watch the episodes, JCM.

JCM: Of course not, if I did, that would be absolutely preposterous.

Person: Spongebob and Patrick are totally gay now.

Fa: You really wanna play that card again? Really? Really?!

Elastic: Can you just kill each other already?

Fa: I'd be happy to.

They all start getting into eCh other's grills, but tensions eased once Clappy made his presence felt.

Clappy: Hey guys, I've been hearing some stuff from my PC with Wumbo and I can't help but assume it was another fight.

JCM: No fight here, Claps. We were just having a heated debate.

Dragiiin: BULLSHIT

Bubble Bud: Hey, you guys started being hostile first.

Clappy: Look, I don't care who started what. We are about to undergo a long ass train ride with each other, no matter whether you may like it or not. The Staff already has their plates filled with preparations, so please, we beg of you to refrain from fighting for just one day. One day. Please.

Metal Snake: You have our word, Claps. Sorry.

Clappy: Thank you. And please, enjoy yourselves. Don't let me hamper down your fun here.

Clappy went back to his PC with Wumbo.

Wumbo: Back in charge and taking charge, eh?

Clappy: Somebody had to do it.

Wumbo: Where's OMJ at? We can't finalize plans for the Skodwarde Movie unveiling without him.

Clappy: He's around. Doing his thang.

Wumbo: Ayeyayeyaye. The thought of that.

Crushing Mayhem entered the Xat. OMJ exited his PC with CDCB to take a tinkle.

OMJ: D-P-1! My braddah!

Mayhem: OMJ! *they proceed to man hug it out* How's it man?

OMJ: Things are looking up, man. Skodwarde is gonna be showcased at this shindig! I never thought something meant to be so lulzy would ever be this popular with the masses.

Mayhem: That's great to hear, man. Good to see things are finally looking up for you.

OMJ: Yeah, never thought I'd ever get to this point in life, man. It just feels powerful, brah. And it's good to see you decided to come along for the trip.

Mayhem: It sounded interesting to go to a festival dedicated to all this great Spongebob literature. A free trip from my personal life is also an added bonus.

OMJ: Right on, man. That's what I wanna hear. You're gonna like it, bro, trust me.

They proceed to take their convo into a PC in the Xat restroom. The scene cuts to CDCB watching some old Disney cartoons with CF and NegiSpongie in their own PC.

CDCB: I just love the art form back then. So fluid and natural.

CF: These cartoons are great, CD!

Negi: It's been years since I last saw these.

CDCB: I'm glad you like it These cartoons are my childhood. Moreso than Spongebob even.

Suddenly an uninvited guest entered the Xat, barging in on CD's PC.

Nathan: I hate cartoons.

CF: Oh boy, Nathan.

CDCB: Then why even bother putting your two cents in here. How did you even get in here ayway? I thought you were banned forever?

Nathan: Nothing lasts forever.

NegiSpongie: Rude much?

Nathan: Besides, you're one of the few people here who I actually consider to be a friend here, CD.

CDCB: I'm flattered, but the feeling isn't mutual. I can see pass your deceit now, Nathan. I'm no longer some blind defender, the Community opened my eyes to who you really are, Nathan. You're nothing but scum, Nathan, at the bottom of my shoe even.

Nathan: Really CD? That's how you feel about me? After all those times we got to know each other? After everything. You may not blind you never were but you are a follower.

CDCB: And a loyal one at that.

CF, in the meantime, called over Clappy to ease tensions and take care of the unwanted guest.

Clappy: Thanks for calling me over, CF.

CF: You're welcome.

Clappy: Nathan, you're not welcome here, but I have to admit, you have some balls to come waltzing in here.

Nathan: So what? The same old song and dance then?

Clappy: You know it.

Nathan: Fucking typical.

Clappy proceeded to kick Nathan around effortlessly before finally banning him from the Xat.

Clappy: He shouldn't be back for another long time to come.

CDCB: We can only hope.

CF: Thanks again, Clappy.

Clappy: No problem. Don't hesitate to call me again if something else comes up. Have fun, guys.

Clappy made his leave. Negi got up to leave, too.

Negi: I'll be right back, guys.

CD & CF: K.

Negi left their PC and entered the main lobby. Someone came up and stopped her.

Unlimitedcat: Hey Negi! How are you?

Negi: Rude much?

Negi left UC at that. UC walked back to her PC with WWE and Smiles, feeling disheartened.

UC: Guys, I'm not rude am I?

WWE: Of course not.

SUS: Are you kidding me?! You're like one of the nicest people I know on here!

UC: I just don't want to come off as rude and annoying to some people.

SUS: You are from being rude and annoying, Cat.

UC: Thanks you guys, especially you Smiles. You just know how to turn frowns upside down.

SUS: It's what I do! XOXO

WWE: Yeah, you're the least annoying person I know on here.

JCM: Ou should leave the rudeness and annoying streak to me, because you're not like that Cat.

UC: Thanks guys.

The scene cuts to a shot of SOF, Steel, and Jjs in their own PC.

Steel: It's cool to be collaborating with you guys for this new Spin-Off.

SOF: should be good.

Jjs: Yeah, we need to pull out all the good stuff if we want to leave an impression at the festival.

CF: *walks in* Hey you guys! *leaves*

Steel: That CF sure is something, huh guys?

SOF: CF braless *hurrrs*

Jjs: Something about her just creeps me out.

Steel: How could you possibly be unnerved by someone so pure and nice?

Jjs: It's just that, she's...TOO NICE.

SOF: alrigt lest change subject here.

Jjs: *shivers a bit before getting back to the subject at hand*

Suddenly, the lights started flicker in the Xat and the big screens started to go to static before a figure appeared on the screen. This was a familiar figure. Someone theSBC members knew all too well.

SpongeSebastian: Oh no.

70s: WhaleBlubber.

Scene fades to black

[Guest ssj4gogita4]

i lost against Wumbo? BLAPSHEMY! I demand a rematch.

[Old Man Jenkins]

Well, Cha's Mixed Writing is really inspiring me to finally shed light on some stuff that I've prematurely ended. This (and probably other prematurely ended show entires) will be a multiple-part thing. First thing's first, something fairly recent that I've sorta lost the drive to continue writing for. I am talking about...

Nautical Nonsense

With the next episode, we would see kinda more into Spongebob's psyche. The morning after killing the vagrant, he would see SpongeBob do his usual morning routine, including taking his "happy pills", but this time, we would see what the effects of these "happy pills" are like from his point of view, from how he views the world without them to the crazy, happy shit he sees while high up on them. Think Plankton's Good Eye and what Plankton was seeing with SpongeBob's eye when imagining the pill effects but turned up to 11 on the creepy scale. Then he'll be come across Jellyfish Fields before his work shift, where he'll begin fantasizing about being one of the jellyfish and making "sweet, succulent jelly with them". He then clocks in for his shift and gives Krabs the dime he took back from the vagrant, saying its his first dime. Krabs, being the greedy bastard that he is, accepts it cuz money arrr.

Didn't really plan out what would happen in the episodes afterward exactly, but I came up with an overall plot line of where things would go. I sorta implied in previous episodes that SpongeBob hunts and takes jellyfish back home with him where he milks them for the jelly and flat out kills them. He would eventually make catching the blue jellyfish, No Name, a top priority. No Name is aware of his heinous actions, much like in the actual Jellyfish Hunter episode, and tries to do anything in his power to stop SpongeBob. Knowing that he can't catch No Name through his jellyfishing skill alone, SpongeBob decides to lure No Name out by catching more normal jellies and take them back home with. Cue the Jellyfish Hunter reference where No Name torments SpongeBob in his own home, but this time, SpongeBob one-ups No Name since it was all apart of his plan all along. He jars No Name up and reveals to the blue jelly that he's been hunting jellyfish not only to fuel his blood/jelly lust, but to use their carcasses to craft himself a suit that'll finally "make him one with the jellyfish" and that No Name will be the finishing touch to his masterpiece. The BBPD investigates this matter and even come close to pinning down SpongeBob, but they end up leaving him alone since the guy they're looking for wears glasses (Spongebob's jellyfishing glasses).

On the boating school side of things (of course there would be some boating school thrown in), Mrs. Puff is fully aware of what SpongeBob is truly capable of through the mishaps that happen during her class alone, but despite her best efforts to reveal what she knows to the police, they always end up not believing her and take her in instead due to her own questionable past (think back to her speech to herself in "No Free Rides") and coral addiction. Puff Mama begins losing her own grip on reality and slowly drives herself insane (think back to her mental breakdown in "Doing Time") tries taking matters into her own hands, but she too ends up being another victim when SpongeBob straps her in the car during yet another driving test and drives so out of control that she possibly couldn't take it all and ends up inflating before fatally popping herself. SpongeBob also takes the time to run down his Boating School tormentor, Flats, on the course and makes the scene look like Puff was the one who did it after popping behind the wheel.

This is about all I can fit in for now, but I'll try and get more up later today. Especially for you, ChaBob, if you have any, questions, comments and/or concerns since I expect you to be the only one to follow this

[Old Man Jenkins]

Here's the second part to my Nautical Nonsense wrap-up entry.

Nautical Nonsense

Back at home, SpongeBob continues carelessly going through countless Gary's, inadvertently killing each snail he "adopts and brings to a good home", as he words it to the people at the animal shelter. He also engages in bi-nightly masochistic rituals by hiring those two green and purple muscular punk dudes from Krabby Land to inflict pain on him for his pleasure, as well as to "relieve the stress" that he goes through in life and to punish himself for putting up with everybody's bullshit. He eventually kills them both during one such night since he felt that they weren't "working their magic anymore".

The Krusty Krab string continues off with SpongeBob's growing, unhealthy attachment to the bloody place. With the employee of the month award looming, SpongeBob does everything within his power to show his loyalty and to uphold the "good Krusty Krab name". This includes him having bloody run-ins with the critic Bubble Bass (which explains the tongue with the pickles underneath in the prologue), the real Health Inspector (stuffed headfirst into a deep fryer), and Miss Gristlepuss and her sisters (forced them to participate in sexual activities with himself and each other before bisecting each of them after Gristlepuss tries to escape). Gristlepuss and her sisters' deaths are what sets off police chief, Al Priss, to step up his incompetent force's game in order to catch this elusive deviant, but you know the BBPD, they're incompetent and end up being on cold trails and sometimes arrest innocent people for SpongeBob's crimes.

SpongeBob becomes so obsessed with his job, that he begins to have romantic feelings for a regular ole Krabby Patty which he names, Patty (ya know, like in To Love A Patty). He sometimes take some time out of his various "nightly rituals" of murder, sex and pain in order to engage in conjugals with Patty in the Krusty Krab patty vault at 3 AM. SpongeBob tries to keep his relationship with Patty a secret from his boss, who has a strict policy that all Krabby Patties must be sold no matter what. This, as well as his race to become Employee of the Month against Squidward, all comes to a head when Squidward catches SpongeBob in the sex act with Patty one night ("You love Krabby Patties, don't you SpongeBob?") and uses this knowledge to his advantage in order to become Employee of the Month himself. Squidward soon betrays Spongebob's trust and informs Krabs about Patty. Krabs orders SpongeBob to sell Patty off this instant. Caught between the two loves of his life, his job and Patty, SpongeBob eventually puts his job first and sells Patty and watches in blank despair and horror as Patty slowly gets devoured by a customer before his very eyes.

After his shift, he spends that night hunting down the customer who ate Patty and violently forces him to throw up repeatedly in hopes that Patty will be regurgitated as well, but it's all for naught. SpongeBob abducts the customer and brings him back to his house, where he bounds, gags and tortures the poor guy for three whole days before letting him go at the Krusty Krab's front door, where he crawls and struggles to keep his entrails from spilling out onto the pavement and floor, begging for food, water and atmosphere, making a scene and bleeds out in front of everybody in the establishment.

Stay tuned next time for what hopefully will be the final installment in the Nautical Nonsense Wrap-up!

[Old Man Jenkins]

This was something I had originally intended on doing before the whole Community Deathmatch League thing that I never did get going on neither. Based on probs one of my favorite GSN shows from like ten years ago, Extreme Dodgeball. I managed to write a little of it, found it again fairly recently, and decided to finish up the first round to have something new to post up in here and give sort of a taste of what it would've been like. I could probs finish it and do more if anyone wants to see. It's pretty much six of the old SBC teams throwing it all out for glory and all dat.

Teams:

Spoiler

Karate Choppers:

Wumbo (Captain)

Sauce

Dragiiin

Webby

Doctor Sex

Jellyfish Hunters:

Dylan (Captain)

Crushing

Cha

SOF

Jelly

Spy Buddies:

Clappy (Captain)

Aya

Shin

Elastic

Terminoob

Goofy Goobers:

Nuggets (Captain)

Box

Ex

E.V.I.L.

Maxwell

Good Noodles:

Steel (Captain)

Metal

Sabre

CNF

WWE

Krusty Krushers:

OMJ (Captain)

JCM

Teenj

CDCB

SG

Community Dodgeball: Spy Buddies vs Krusty Krushers

The scene opens up to the SBC Arcade Arena, homesite of Community Dodgeball!

Trophy: Good morning, and welcome to our first ever edition of Community Dodgeball! I'm SBC's only sports fan, and introducing my broadcast partner, meet the Prez!

President Squidward: Thank you, Award, and what a guh-lorious match-up we have in store for our premiere episode! The all-about-stealth Spy Buddies, captained-

Trophy: OR "CLAPTAINED"

Prez: By the Clapmaster, himself, will take on the physically imposing Krusty Krushers, headed by none other than Old Man "River" Jenkins!

Trophy: Spying out of the Spy Buddies, we have: the Trilla from Las Villa, Shin! The beard to be feared, Terminoob! The six faces of Aya! And, of course, along with those meddling kids, you've got have their dog, Elastic!

Elastic: Dog? Where?

Prez: Raising their swords into battle for the Krusty Krushers tonight, we have: the master of the cameo, JCM! Ole Bold & Blue, Teenj! The Krushers' very own medic, SG! As well as the VHS player, himself, CDCB!

Trophy: Now the rules here are fairly simple. Both teams will compete against each other, best two-out-of-three! The first team to empty out their players first, loses the round!

Prez: As stated before, there are three rounds in total. The first round is pretty much standard, with two balls in play. The second round that we here like to call "The Big Ball Round" will see a third ball come into play. The Big Ball comes in at about three times the size of the two normal balls, so whosoever has that big boy on their side has, well, some very good ball protection on their side. The third and final round will see both teams' Dead Man Walking The Plank! A player from both teams is chosen to be the dead man walking. Whichever team's dead man gets eliminated first, automatically loses the round.

Trophy: Now, there are a variety of ways to be eliminated in a game of Community Dodgeball. If you get hit by a ball, you're out! If you throw a ball and it gets caught by an opposing player, you're out and the opposing team will be able to bring a previously eliminated player back into the game! If a ball you're using to deflect a throw by an opposing player drops out of your hands, you're out! And if you dare step over that center line separating the two teams, you're outta here faster than ACS! If it all comes to one player for either team, that lone wolf will activate the Regeneration Target. If the player manages to hit that target, then the rest of his or her team members will be able to re-enter the match! But they have to make it count since the Regeneration Target is only good one time per round!

Prez: But that's enough of all that rigmarole, lets get down to the court, where official Community Dodgeball referee, Crushing Mayhem, will officiate tonight's debut match!

The five members of both teams line up along the ends of their respective sides of the court, gearing up for the charge after the starting whistle.

Crushing: Buddies, are you ready?

Shin: GET FUCKED

Crushing: I may or may not do that, depends. Krushers, are you ready?

JCM: No.

Crushing: Then lets get balling.

JCM: I'm not being sarcastic, we're really not ready-

Crushing blows the whistle, starting the round. The teams charge for the two balls placed on the center line. Elastic manages to fetch one up for his team while Clappy and OMJ try to wrestle the other ball out of each other's hands.

Prez: Looks like we have a bit of a tug-o-war going on for control of the second ball between our two captains!

OMJ looks to be pulling Clappy over the center line in order to eliminate him, but Elastic runs in and quickly eliminates OMJ before he could do so. Clappy claims the second ball while Teenj recovers the one Elastic threw.

Trophy: And just like that, the captain of the Krusty Krushers is out!

Teenj, looking to hit Elastic, but ends up throwing his ball at Shin. Elastic manages to side step over front of his teammate possibly unsuspecting teammate and deflects Teenj's ball with his own. The ball soars back over to the Krushers' side, which JCM goes to recover. Elastic immediately throws it at him as he does so, eliminating JCM as well.

Prez: Elastic, racking himself up a pair of eliminations as he takes the Snark Knignt out of play!

With both balls in the Krushers' court, Teenj and SG look to double team a possibly unfortunate Spy Buddy.

Trophy: This could probs not bode well for one unsuspecting Spy Buddy. Diligence! DILIGENCE!

Teenj and SG size Clappy up, but spin around and end up pelting Shin instead, taking him out.

Shin: FECKING BULLSHEET

Aya and Clappy gain possession of both balls. They tease a double team, but ending throwing their balls at separate players. Aya manages to eliminate Teenj, but SG manages to dodge out of Clappy's way. The ball that hit Teenj rolls it's way on back to Buddies' side. CDCB tries recovering it, but can't make it when Elastic recovers it first. With CD at point blank range, Elastic proceeds to blast him with his ball, but CD manages to cling onto it and not have it bounce off his chest. Being a valid catch, Elastic finds himself eliminated.

Prez: CD showing off some surprising endurance, managing to full-on catch what looked to very well be a death blow.

Having caught the shot, the Krushers are allowed to bring back on member of their team. OMJ re-enters the fray. CD passes his ball off to him, both balls back in the Krushers' possession. OMJ takes a shot at Aya while SG fires away at Clappy. Aya manages to catch OMJ's shot while Clappy gets clipped on the foot as he tried jumping out of the way, eliminated.

Prez: The Spy Buddies' claptain is outta there whereas Aya manages to catch OMJ's hard shot at her!

Trophy: I'm sure she's had plenty of practice catching OMJ's shots, Prez!

Both balls are now in the Spy Buddies court, Aya and Termi both taking their balls and double teaming SG with, taking her out of contention. The Regeneration Shot activates for the Krusty Krushers.

Prez: It comes down to this for the sole surviving Krusty Krusher of this round, CDCB. With both balls firmly grasped in his court, will he be able to make the shot and bring the rest of his comrades back into this thing?

CD calculates the trajectory in his mind and takes both balls in hand. He teases throwing one at the target, but ends up throwing it at Termi, bouncing it off his chest and eliminating him. While Aya tries to recover the ball, CD makes the throw towards the regeneration target. Aya tries to intercept by throwing her ball up in it's path, but misses. CD's shot connects with the target and the rest of the fallen Krusty Krushers are allowed back onto the court!

Trophy: THE KRUSHERS DID IT!

Prez: And the Regeneration target activates for Aya now! Can she pull one through for her team, as well?

Aya has both balls in hand. She throws one into the group, causing them to scatter and recover it, giving her the opportunity to throw the other at the target like CD did before her. She takes the shot, but Jenkins jumps up into the air in order to catch it. He can't grab hold of it, but he manages to deflect it with his body anyway, eliminating himself yet preventing Aya from hitting the target. Teenj and JCM recover both balls. Aya backs herself up to improve her chances of not getting hit. Teenj and JCM take their shots. She manages to dodge Teenj's shot, but JCM's clips her on the back, eliminating her winning the first round for the Krusty Krushers.

Trophy: THE KRUSHERS DID IT AGAIN!

Prez: Yes, folks, it appears the first round belongs to the Krushers, but can they make lightning strike a second time or will the Spy Buddies be able to even things out and take us into Dead Man Walking?!

[Old Man Jenkins]

Since it's Halloween and stuff.

Killer Clown from Outer Space

It was a hot night that night in the middle of the nowhere, Maddiel and her husband, Webstace Bang, were in the bedroom banging and their pet guard dog, Elias, was forced to watch. After five minutes of witnessing that freak nasty, he noticed an object jet through the night sky from the window. Assuming it was a shooting star, and knowing this type of shit shouldn't happen to an elastic dog, he wished he would just die so that he doesn't have to spend one more second locked in that room. Lo and behold, his wish would be somewhat granted.

The next morning, Maddiel was about to make some breakfast when Elias took a seat next to Webstace. Webstace put down the script for the new play he was casted in with anger.

Webstace: What are you doin' sitting at the table, dog?

Webstace digs through his pants and whips this out

Webstace: OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

Elias screams in terror at that violent shit then runs out of the house, he nearly shits himself on the new door mat, which would've pissed Webstace off even more, when he notices a circus tent-looking spaceship just parked casually outside their house.

Elias: Something seems very wrong here, or my name is Mike Tobacco! And unfortunately, it's not.

He then sees the operator of the attraction exiting his tent.

Elias: AAAHHHAHAHAHAAAHHHHAHAHAHHH!!!!?!?!!

Elias fully shits himself on the door mat this time and runs back inside the house, warning his owners about the impending danger right outside their house by using his elasticity to play charades.

Maddiel nearly has a heart attack.

Webstace: What are you doing back at the table?!

Elias picks them both up and drags them outside to see for themselves.

Webstace: Well what do ya know, the carnival's back in town!

Webstace swats Elias' grip on him and goes to enter the tent ship.

Maddiel: Webstace! What do you think you're doing?!

Webstace: I'm going to watch the show, Maddiel!

Maddiel: But Webstace, it'll wake the neighbors!

Webstace: Fuck the neighbors, especially at this hour! Now are you coming in or am I gonna have to eat all this popcorn and cotton candy by myself.

Maddiel: My pa always told me not to enter strange spaceships with boys and this time, I'm actually gonna listen to him.

Maddiel & Elias: Deuces!

They flash peace signs before going back into the house. Later, a knock would be heard at the door.

Maddiel: Hmm. I wonder who that could be?

Maddiel slams the door.

Maddiel: Nope.

Elias: Yes!

Elias shouted out before laying himself on Maddiel's lap as she cocks on her cocking chair. Another knock at the door is heard.

Maddiel: Oh my.

Maddiel answers it again.

Maddiel is instantly swooned, but things go to shit just as instantly.

The Clowns take the mamafied Maddiel away into their spaceship.

Elias: O . O ahem, AAAAAHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH??!!?!!!?!

With little to no choice, Elias follows them inside their funhouse of terror, but not before digging out the trusty slingshot he had buried days earlier. Evading capture, he comes across a room where the clowns store all their cotton candified prisoners. Elias goes about licking the cotton candy cocoons, finding burned remains of a few unfortunate souls, one by one until he finds Maddiel. He of course comes across Webstace first.

Webstace: Hey stupid elastic dog, lemme outta here so's I can make it to me rehearsal!

Elias just covers him up with more cotton candy. He finally licks the candy off Maddiel's somewhat burnt face.

Elias: Yay!

Maddiel: Elias, good to see ya! Would be greater to be rescued by Jensen, but I guess you'll do.

Before he can break her out, they're caught by a clown, who makes a balloon animal in the shape of a dog. Elias thinks nothing of it at first, but the balloon dog suddenly comes to life and we have ourselves a dog fight on our hands. The balloon dog snaps and bite at Elias mercilessly, but with one bite of his own, Elias manages to pop the balloon animal with ease. The killer clown starts chucking pies at the elastic dog, one of them connects. It seems harmless at first, but it slowly burns off one of Elias' paws.

Elias: OOOOOHHH!

Elias continues dodging pies, one of them hitting Maddiel's cocoon, burning it enough for Elias to pull her out. The killer clown readies another pie, but Elias uses his slingshot to shoot it right back at the clown's face, burning and killing it softly. Elias messes with the spaceship's controls, activating it's self destruct feature, before grabbing Maddiel and literally hauling her ass out of there while evading even more killer clowns. The spaceship explodes right after they exit and the carnival seems to have left town for good. Elias and Maddiel go back home to finish the rest of that pizza.

Maddiel: Elias, I sure hope Webstace made it out okay.

Elias growls at the mere mention of Webstace's name.

A loud banging could be heard at the kitchen door.

Webstace: WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOIN' AT THE TABLE, ELASTIC DOG?!

Elias: This kind of shit never happens to Scooby Doo

Elias: OUCH!

The End

[Old Man Jenkins]

May as well post my entry into this past Octerror Fest's scary story contest so that it doesn't get lost in the trash.

Family Reunion

For years, Sheldon J. Plankton had always kept himself distant from his extended family, mostly out of shame in knowing that he's the only one out of the thousands of them who actually went to college and strived to achieve bigger and better things in life than just guzzling down root beer, watching trash TV all day. So it would come as sort of a shocker to Clem when he found out that cousin Sheldon would volunteer to host the annual Plankton Family Reunion at his restaurant, The Chum Bucket. Before Clem could put anymore of what little bit of thought he had into it, the idea of all the free root he could drink at the function swept through his mind like red tide.

The Plankton family made their way to Bikini Bottom in droves, all gathering at what looked to be the biggest reunion in years. Sheldon welcomed them in with open arms, almost immediately indulging them in an entire buffet of what was pretty much of the chum variety. From chummy joes, chumsticks, chum nuggets, chum burger, chum fricassee, and of course, his special Chum Bucket Supreme.

"Hey cousin Sheldon!" Cousin Jeke shouted out to him. "What's the recipe fer this here 'chum freak assy'?"

"Well Cousin Jeke," Sheldon responds. "I first put in about three teaspoons of chopped onions an- oh dear, your fricassee looks like it could use some more salt!"

Sheldon quickly covered Jeke's fricassee with a pinch more salt. A pinging sound could be heard coming from the kitchen.

"Sounds like my chumbalayas are done. I'll be right back!" Plankton hastily made his way into his kitchen, the doors shutting loudly behind him.

As appetizing as all this chum was to the common plankton, Clem couldn't help but wonder where all the root beer was. He set his plate down and followed Plankton into the kitchen to inquire about it. When he entered the kitchen, Sheldon was nowhere to be seen. There appeared to be no chumbalayas cooking, and worse, no root beer anywhere. Clem climbed up on to the kitchen island to give himself a better view of the room. He steps foot onto a piece of paper, which was like a giant to him. Next to the paper was an open bottle.

Clem looked over the paper and it had what appeared to be a recipe of some sort on it.

1. Three tsp. of chopped onions

2. A pinch of salt

3. A cup of love

4. 4 lb of freshly ground plankton

Sheldon finally emerged from a secret door to what appeared to be his laboratory behind the oven. He instantly notices Clem looking over the paper and jumps up to approach him.

"Hey there, Clem-Clem! Whatcha have here?" Sheldon asked with false sincerity.

"I don't know" Clem replies. "I can't read!" Clem laughed to himself. Sheldon laughed along with him, a bit more maniacally, but that didn't seemed to throw Clem off.

Sheldon laid a few cases of root beer out on the table, covering the paper.

"Here's what you've all been waiting for!"

"SOOOOEEE! Root beer, root beer, root beer!" Clem shouted out with glee.

"Say Clem, do you mind helping me distribute these root beers to everyone? A couple thousand seem a bit more than I can handle." Sheldon asks, pouring a few cups to hand out.

"Sure thing Cousin Sheldon, that's what family's fer!" Clem grabs a case and accompanies Plankton back out to the reunion.

"Wonderful." Plankton snickers to himself.

"Boy, I tell you what, I CAN'T WAIT to put one of these cups of love to my lips I'm tellin' you right now, Cousin Sheldon!"

[Old Man Jenkins]

A Night at Unlimitedkatz Motel

One day, it was a dark and stormy and the Bang family were on their back home from a trip to Malibu cuz Sauce knows I didn't go there, someone has to. They stop for the night at some old, rinkydink motel somewhere around the middle of nowhere because if Sam and Dean can do, why can't Maddiel.

Webstace: This looks like a shitty place to end our shitty vacation.

Elias is still shaking and chattering in Maddiel's lap from their trip to Malibu cuz he knows what it do. Now come on, lets check their white asses inside. They enter the main lobby and Webstace keeps ringing the damn desk bell because fuck the neighbors, that's what. The motel manager finally rises from underneath the counter like Nosferatu or Count Orlok or whatever that Dracula motherfucker's name is.

???: Hello, and welcome to the Unlimitedkatz Motel. I'm Unlimitedkatz. Please sign in- I'm turrbly sorry, but

Unlimitedkatz: No Prudes Allowed

Maddiel: Oh my.

Elias: Sorry, Webstace. But it looks like more lap dances for me tonight!

They all shift their eyes toward Elias.

Elias: ...You all are asses.

Webstace throws Elias outside and ties him to a post. Elias try giving him some puppy dog eyes.

Webstace: TRU-DAYYYY!

This spoops Elias out of his wits.

Webstace Eeheeheehee! Hohohoho-

Maddiel cracks the hot sauce bottle on his head.

Webstace: OOOOOWWWWW! What did I do?!

Webstace walks back into the motel and calls Maddiel a beeotch under his breath. Maddiel gives Elias a blanket for warmth.

Maddiel: Here, take this. It'll keep ya warm. Good night, Elias.

Elias: It may be a good night, you'll be sleeping in a warm bed. And I much prefer the warmth of dem thighs.

Maddiel pats Elias on the head, friend zoning her dawg, and heads back inside with Webstace. Maddiel starts up a bubble bath for herself while Webstace gets ready for bed by jerking off to some broadway Wicked.

Webstace: I can't wait to jerk it in me own bed. Maddiel! Can you hear me?! Ah, what do you know.

Webstace proceeds to spank the monkey.

Webstace: Cum to me, my pretty. Eeheeheehee! Hohohoho!

Unbeknownst to him, Unlimitedkatz was viewing, looking as into it as she does when she reads my spinoffs.

Sauce gets into the tub for what looks to be a two and a half hour bath. But unbeknownst to her, Unlimitedkatz was viewing her "spinoffs" as well from the shower head.

Unlimitedkatz retreats to her dungeon beneath the motel, where she keeps her army of spiders.

Unlimitedkatz: My loves, dinner has arrived- Your web is such a mess, do clean it up

Outside, Unlimitedkatz releases one of the spiders on Elias.

Elias: OOOOHHH!

Elias tries to free himself from his leash, but can't break himself out. The spider gets warmer.

And warmer.

It's getting hot, it's on fire! Right before the spider finishes it trek along the longest porch ever, Elias finally manages to free himself by simply unlatching himself from the leash.

Elias: Yay!

He manages to outrun the spider and looks for a way back inside. Meanwhile, about an hour and a half into Maddiel's bath.

Maddiel: Finally, I can relax.

She sinks into the bubbles and fails to notice the spider that crawls it's way out of the faucet. It prances along the bath water towards her, she notices the little bugger.

Maddiel: AAAHHH!

Elias: Maddiel! She's in trouble.

He claws and tries making his way into their room but the door is locked. He runs off and wheels in Trophy's cannon, about to pull a vintage Cannonball Jenkins up in this bitch.

Elias: I knew no good would come from Unlimitedkatz and her newfound love for KotH!

He blasts into the motel room. Elias runs to Webstace, but there was no separating him from his broadway porn. He then sees Maddiel struggling to keep the spider at bay.

Maddiel: Elias! Help!

Elias: Oh fuck dat. Deuces!

He runs back to Webstace, but he's now nowhere to be found.

Elias: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

He runs out of the room and into the lobby to get help, using his elasticity to explain their dire situation.

Elastic: AH OOBITABAOOBITABAOOBITABA POTTY!

But nobody was there to witness his razzie winning performance. He notices the door to Unlimitedkatz's dungeon behind the front desk.

Elias: I just know something bad is back there, or my name is Delbert McClintock! And unfortunately, it's not.

Elias goes all in. He sees Webstace all wrapped up in the spiders' web but his mind still wrapped around dat broadway porn.

Elias: What do I do? What do I do?!

He asks himself before grabbing a huge rock from outside.

Elias: SPIIIIIDERS! SPIDERS! SPIDERS! SPIDERS! SPIDERS!

He uses the rock to wreck all the spiders that were about to feed on Webstace. He pulls Webstace off the web, but now finds himself face to face with hotel manager herself.

Unlimitedkatz: Leaving so soon?

Elias throws Webstace at her, knocking her off her feet and trapped under his weight.

Unlimitedkatz: I wish you hadn't done that

Elias: EEEEEEAAAAHHH!

Elias runs out into the halls and hides in a dark room.

Elias: Now what do I do? Now what do I do?!

He switches on the light to find himself in SBM's "spiders are your friend" thread.

Elias: O . O

Right as Unlimitedkatz was about to open the door, Elias breaks that mutha down, crushing her beneath it and runs off again.

Elias: EEEEEEEEEK!

Unlimitedkatz: ...Iwishyouhadntdonethat...

Elias runs himself into a corner at the end of the hall. Unlimitedkatz emerges from the shadows.

Unlimitedkatz: There is no place to run. And no place to hide.

Meanwhile, Maddiel is still fighting for her life against the spider.

Maddiel: Oh! You naughty thing, you!

The people staying next door are just creeped out by the sound of struggling, water splashing and wall rocking.

Unlimitedkatz: A little roleplay before dying, good boy?

Elias: Sounds kinky.

Maddiel: OH! OH!

Maddiel manages to throw the spider right into the toilet and flushes it down, getting rid of it for good.

Elias: UNCLE BROGWEN?!

Unlimitedkatz: TIME TO DROP DROP THE SOAP, BOIIIIIEEEE!

Maddiel: Why I never

She proceeds to dry herself off.

Elias: BROGWEN PLS

Unlimitedkatz: THE ANSWER AINT YES OR NO GWEN JR

Maddiel puts on her clothes on and notices Webstace is gone.

Maddiel: Now where did that cunt run off to?

Elias: NO PLS I HAVE GLASSES ON I have no fuckin idea what stupid shit I'm even doing anymore.

Unlimitedkatz: IT'S FIESTA TIEM HOLMES!

Unlimitedkatz throws her maracas at Elias and knocks him out.

Unlimitedkatz: ¡ARRIBA!

Maddiel: What a way to end a vacation!

Unlimitedkatz cracks her neck Cesaro style and gets on top of Elias, choking him out.

Unlimitedkatz: Now you're gonna find out why no one ever checks out at the Unlimitedkatz Motel.

Elias: K-Kinky!

Unlimitedkatz takes out a spider and holds it overhead, threatening to drop it on Elias, laughing like Patrick at the end of The Secret Box.

Maddiel drops some hot sauce from the god of hot sauce himself onto Unlimitedkatz, burning both the spider and her. They drop off of Elias and Maddiel helps her dawg up.

Maddiel: Lets go Elias, we're leaving. The service here stinks on ice!

They grab Webstace, still webbed up and jerking to Wicked, and continue heading home in their impala with Maddiel driving.

Webstace: Eeheeheehee! Hohohoho!

Maddiel: That must be a good play grandpa must be watching. Maybe we should go see it on our next vacation.

Elias: ...

The End

[Old Man Jenkins]

https://i.imgur.com/k8cqnFL.jpg[/img]

Sweet & Sour

We see Aquatic Nuggets horndogginginside OMJ's profile.

http://s11.postimg.org/vtmi8o8gj/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: HOO WEEE! North Nuggets would make a good name for any baby of mine.

http://s11.postimg.org/867rfbyz7/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Or the next SBC version update! Imma go out dickin, my nugget is in some serious need of a lickin. *puts on stunna shades*

http://s11.postimg.org/miwlzwtlf/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Stunnin on em!

Elias and Maddiel are seen in the park feeding the birds.

Maddiel: Isn't this nice, Elias? The weather is nice and warm.

Elias: Says the bitch wearing a jacket.

Maddiel: The birds are singing.

Elias: ehh birds, I hate The Birds Beaks: The Movie was a better and more horrifying social commentary on those feathered fucks.

https://i.imgur.com/1LtAgzD.jpg[/img]

http://s11.postimg.org/jy4thm8cz/image.jpg[/img]

Bird: TRU-DAYYYY!

Elias: OOHHHH!

Elias hides himself in the comfort of Maddiel's bosom.

Maddiel: Isn't this the life? Not a care in the world! And Webstace said people get raped at the park

Nuggets comes across their way and catches sight of dat saucy mama.

http://s11.postimg.org/ypvr3qa4z/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: What a fox! (haha)

Maddiel: Elias, will you be spending all afternoon in there?

Elias: For you Maddie, I could be.

Maddiel quickly falls asleep on him.

Elias: For years, Maddiel has trained herself to sleep with her eyes open. Or they're just permanently stuck like that from all the glue.

http://s11.postimg.org/s8cuk7zrn/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Swiggity swag, I wanna come in Saucy's vag!

Elias: Huh? What the fuck was tha-

http://s11.postimg.org/fmg7sm1g3/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Whazzup my dawg.

Elias: AHHHHH!

Elias retreats back into Maddiel's bosom.

Nuggets: Aww, ain't that sweet? Saucy fell asleep.

http://s11.postimg.org/cgvm2eitv/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Goku, my nig! You hungry thug, you gettin sloppy seconds with this sauce.

Nuggets knocks on Maddiel's jacket and Elias answers.

Nuggets: I hate to pull you from your crib, but I got a Saucy Sue to do.

Nuggets yanks Elias out of her bosom and tosses him into the water fountain.

Elias: Ohh! OWOWOWOWOWO!

Nuggets: Who dat!

http://s11.postimg.org/4y7vg1237/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: About as fast as Google Chrome, my nugget will take Saucy alllll the way home. And it's actual color too.

Elias: He's gonna do Saucy Sue?! Noooo I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it better be Maddiel.

Elias runs to the nearest sex shop and taxes a big piece of meat from the premises.

Spanky: Hey! Get back here with my ham(mer)!

Elias catches up to Nuggets at the bus stop alone.

http://s11.postimg.org/ddo961q6r/image.jpg[/img]

Elias: Don't make me fuck you up, coon! Where's Maddiel?

Nuggets just shrugs, but Elias whacks him with his meat and causes him to literally cough up Maddiel.

Elias: Oh no you're not gonna eat her out!

Elias grabs Maddiel and leaves Nuggets to his pain.

Nuggets: Now I do take offense, dawg, I do!

Elias runs down the street with Maddiel in tow, but runs straight into a cab and Maddiel goes flying.

http://s11.postimg.org/f0r8wi6dv/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: I'd truly like to thank ya.

http://s11.postimg.org/o9tf6mf9v/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: And I'd truly like to spank ya.

Nuggets takes her back into the cab and they speed off down the road. Elias takes his search for Maddiel to the air, his afro being very aerodynamic.

Elias: Maddiel! MADDIELLLLL oh there she is.

The cab Nugs was in popped a tower about a block away.

Nuggets: The one cab that stops for a brotha in this community and it's ghetto as all fuck!

Elias: Here I come Maddiel.

Elias swoops in and takes Maddiel unseen.

Elias: I came

But he leaves an extra something-something behind for Nugs.

Nuggets: Mmm mmm! I can taste dat sauce in my mouth right now- pause Hey, what's this?

http://s11.postimg.org/8k93exj2r/image.jpg[/img]

Nugget's keyboard breaks.

http://s11.postimg.org/b2usfm4sz/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Ohhh my.

Elias: Now keep your dark hands to yourself, you spooky spook!

Elias lands and sets Maddiel down on the ground.

Elias: Now don't worry about that guy, Maddiel, he's way behind. But you and I on the other hand, we have some catching up to do.

http://s11.postimg.org/4do8zljgz/image.jpg[/img]

http://s11.postimg.org/z95fqqqxf/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Get lost, white and nerdy. Saucy and I are about to ride down and and dirty!

[imb]https://i.imgur.com/ijULBpf.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Now you just rest your head. Then I'll just rest my head in ya and you can leave everything to me.

Elias gets sent burrowing down all the way to China.

http://s11.postimg.org/r7h78u85v/image.jpg[/img]

Chinaman: 稀釋新鮮的肉！這將讓我們養活了一周的休息！

Elias digs back to Nowhere in front of Nugget's path.

Elias: Oooh, I gotta stop that coon! Or my name is Jennifer Hills, and it's not. Where's a Popeyes when you need one?! I know!

http://s11.postimg.org/c0aefyv2r/image.jpg[/img]

http://s11.postimg.org/qfej9n3yr/image.jpg[/img]

http://s11.postimg.org/e21p2qeab/image.jpg[/img]

http://s11.postimg.org/95tgxaor7/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Whooo dat!

Nuggets then rides off a cliff, tossing Maddiel into the air as he plummets into the lake below.

Nuggets: Water? My ironic weakness! That elastic dog is becoming a real pain in my a-errblblblblbleelbbblbl *sinks*

Maddiel wakes up mid-flight.

Maddiel: *snorts* Oh, oh my! I must be having one of those floating dreams, except Cha and OMJ aren't bad mouthing me oh well.

She goes back to sleep right as she makes her descent to the ground.

Elias: No! Bubububub! Bububub! OOBITABAOOBITABAOOBITA-

Maddiel lands right on Elias as he panics. Nuggets nonchalantly waltzes up and snatches her away.

Nuggets: Lemme just tax this from ya. Saucy, you're gonna be right proud to be in my bed and I can't waaaait.

He walks up to a disguised Elias manning a slot machine.

Elias: You feeling lucky, punk?

Nuggets: I sure am lucky! And I'm gonna get particularly lucky later today.

http://s11.postimg.org/ma3mnq66r/image.jpg[/img]

http://s11.postimg.org/rzjv81ccz/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets blows some dried come into Elias' eyes, having seen past his disguise. He takes off with Maddiel but stops in the middle of a grassy field.

Nuggets: Why wait till I take you all the way home? Imma take you home right now. This is human nature, and what better place to do Saucy Sue than within nature.

http://s11.postimg.org/bd6wcp8sz/image.jpg[/img]

The popo cock blocks him.

Nuggets: Now officer, this isn't what it looks like! See, her eyes is open-

http://s11.postimg.org/br88caswj/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Well shi-

Nuggets gets shot, Elias runs up and grabs Maddiel.

Elias: Thanks, Mr. Wilson!

Officer Wilson: It's what I do.

Elias runs off with Maddiel but gets cut off, literally, by thin razor wire.

Elias: Did you just Wrong Turn 4 my ass?

Nuggets: I just Wrong Turned 4 your ass.

Nuggets takes Maddiel into his soul plane.

http://s11.postimg.org/5rkh8n843/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Saucy, you just got yourself a first class ticket to the mile high club. Mmm mmm!

Elias: No!

Elias manages to cling onto the wing before take off.

Elias: Don't worry Maddiel, I'm coming!

Nuggets: What?! Dawg, if anybody's coming to Saucy Sue, it's gonna be me not you!

Nuggets tries shaking Elias off his plane, but Elias won't let go.

Nuggets: Dawg, you is a fighter. I hate it when they fight back.

Nuggets barrel rolls but it only propels Elias onto the plane with him.

http://s11.postimg.org/hupsw7j6b/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Well this sure is a cockpit now alright.

Nuggets proceeds to choke out Elias but gets interrupted when Maddiel sleepwalks onto the wings of the plane.

Nuggets: White bitches be crazy!

Elias and Nuggets both venture onto the wing to stop Maddiel from falling.

Nuggets & Elias: Hold on! We're coming for you! Huh?

Nuggets: Not if I cum first, dawg!

They run up to her but the combined weight makes the plane tilt to the side, forcing them to constantly step back until Maddiel falls off the side.

http://s11.postimg.org/4ru6cxsyb/image.jpg[/img]

Elias: This is all your fault!

Nuggets: My fault?!

Elias: Yeah, and they say I should get neutered!

Nuggets: Nigga plz!

They look down to see Maddiel traversing the underside of the wing upside down.

Elias: Thank Neptune for Maddie's Magical Magic.

Nuggets: You think she gets down low like that in bed?

Elias: Grrrrr! But I have been in a bed with her, and she does. Hey, if we're both up here, who's flying the plane.

Nuggets: Uh duhhhrrr, I am! Oh.

Elias & Nuggets: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

They crash into the Nowhere Trade Center. Nuggets emerges from the rubble.

Nuggets: That was hot and heavyyy. Say, where did my hot saucy go? There she is!

He hobbles towards her unscathed, sleeping body and picks her up.

Elias: No, Maddiel!

http://s11.postimg.org/4y7vg1237/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: I should really be in the Olympics. I'd win gold for...uhh, not having a limp dick-

Elias trips Nuggets, who lands right on his boner.

Nuggets: OOOOHHH!!!

Maddiel soars into the air again, Elias tries to catch her but runs up to the edge of a cliff.

Nuggets: Going somewhere?

Nuggets pushes Elias off the cliff and catches Maddiel in the knick of time.

Nuggets: Saucy Sue, I've come for you.

He takes Maddiel back to OMJ's profile while Elias still falls down the cliff.

Elias: AAAHHH!

Nuggets throws Maddiel onto OMJ's About Me, takes out a vibrator, removes the batteries and consumes them.

http://s11.postimg.org/mkkbyjzkj/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: Getting ready to toss yo salad. Just need a few seconds to tune up the band for our love ballad!

Elias: AAAHHH!

http://s11.postimg.org/v2p6p5gpf/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: A lil KY for her. A lil KY for mine. Damn gurl, you be lookin fine!

Elias: AAAHHH!!!

Nuggets dry cums over Maddiel.

http://s11.postimg.org/gxjdnc7o3/image.jpg[/img]

Nuggets: "Gee Nuggets, thanks for cummin." "Don't mention it Sue, your sauce rack be perfect for drummin!"

Elias gets dangerously closer to the bottom, flames engulf him from the velocity.

Elias: AAAAHHHH!!!!

Nuggets gets on top of the still sleeping Maddiel and whips out his golden nugget.

Nuggets: I've got a nugget that needs a lil sweet and sour to dip, but don't worry, I don't take double trips.

Elias crashes through the ceiling

Nugget: Who daaa-

He plummets right on top of Nuggets right before he could go all in, creating a crater. Elias pulls himself out, all burned and hurt.

Elias: HA HA HA HA HAA!

Maddiel finally wakes up.

http://s11.postimg.org/6oqwhijmb/image.jpg

Maddiel: Oh! Elias, what am I doing here?!

She smells burnt nuggets.

Maddiel: Mmm, is that fried aquatic nuggets?! Elias, shall we have some?

Nuggets: No no! Aquatic Nuggets aren't meant to get eat out, it'll give you a bad case of...gout!

Elias: No thanks, I've had enough Nuggets for one day.

The End