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Dr. Dark

Rose Gold
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Dr. Dark last won the day on October 23

Dr. Dark had the most liked content!

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11465 Sweet Victory!

About Dr. Dark

  • Rank
    Teller of Terrible Tales!
  • Birthday 05/03/1993

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Pronoun
  • Interests
    - Basketball, y'all
    - Money
    - People buying my stuff
    - Circumcised swimming
    - Banging on a trashcan
    - Drumming on streetlights
    - Riffs! Yeah, right!
    - Pug trafficking
    - Grand Slams with extra Ham and a SIDE OF CARROT CAKE
    - FUUUCK
    - Throwin' down face-downs
    - Then ending my turns
    - Hey Ben.
    - Yeah?
    - See ya.
    - ...Yeah...
    - Puhhhhh
    - "Yo! Kai!"
    - "THAT'S MY NAME"
    - drinking up the gift of Jericho
    - I feel like I'm a bigger fan of Pokemon now than I was as a kid
    - Putting children's cartoon characters into adult situations
    - Honor
    - Family
    - Tradition
    - And donuts
    - Not Caring!
    - Covering wars, ya know
    - Getting it memorized
    - Making tombstones for stray dogs
    - This list is getting UPBEAT! UPBEAT!
    - Forklift racing
    - DENIM
    - Shaun White hoodies
    - Heading to the Tiki Lodge for some R&R
    - Breaking out the butter
    - Making toast
    - The George Lopez Show for like, the first 3 times
    - Same with My Wife and Kids
    - Standing unshaken amidst the clashing of worlds
    - Rodan.
    - Godzilla.
    - Bringing the darkness and the thunder
    - Coming from hell and pulling you under
    - Making you feel the wrath of my ways
    - Being the end of your days
    - When it's time to make the donuts
    - Dead Rising
    - DashieGames (pause?)
    - Being remembered as the July 2011 Employee of the Month
    - That's me!
    - That's MEEEEE! That's meee!
    - Employee of the MOOOOOONTH!
    - Mecha
    - Yes, Dear (somebody please syndicate this fucking show again! Put it on Netflix, Pluto TV, Tubi, Crackle, something!)
    - Sharks

    This is the life, you see. The devil tips his hat to me.
  • Location
  • Favorite Episode
    Survival of the Idiots
  • Favorite Character
    Trevor "Viking" Calcote

Recent Profile Visitors

639105 profile views
  1. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    Crazy what a difference more focus and experience can make. The closest things would be any crappy bop I would come up with as a kid other than that, I can’t really say that I sat down and made a serious go at writing one before.
  2. Birfday haps, Kat! Hope it's a good'un
  3. Chapter 5: Morning Sickness The next morning When Cherish finally came to, it was already well into the morning hours. The sun's rays were beaming through the curtains and illuminating the room. Cherish sat herself up on her side of the bed. She was looking pretty out of it before rubbing her eyes. "Was it all just a dream?" She wondered. She turned her head to the side to find something lying down right next to her in Eugene's usual spot. The shape of their body protruded through the covers. From the way they were positioned, they were laying on their side with their back facing her. With recent events still very fresh in her mind, she knew full well that Eugene was still back at the hospital. She carefully reaches her hand over towards the head of the shape laying next to her. She pulls the covers back. "Honey?" She asks, cautiously. "What is it, darlin'??" Eugene asked with an irritated tone. Cherish breathes of sigh of relief, seemingly brought back to reality after what felt like a nightmare. "I'm so glad that you're okay!" Cherish exclaims with renewed joy. "Why, of course we are, dear." Eugene turns himself around to reveal a very filled up egg sac protruding from behind his prized armor abs. Cherish's pigment went white at the unnatural sight. "They be kickin' up a storm, dear! Want to feel it?" Eugene clamps Cherish's wrist and brings her in closer. "No..No...NO!" She shouts in protest. Eugene doesn't listen as he forces her hand closer and closer, the egg sac protruding further and further out with each inch. "This is it, dear. Our little miracles." He proudly says as he opens up his abdomen to bring the sac out into full view. Thousands of indentations could be seen pressing against the sac, clawing out as if aware of what's about to make contact with them. "Eugene, stop it!" Eugene forces her open claw onto his sac and the thousands of little claws inside reaches out for it, some even managing to pierce through the sac itself. Cherish screams as the many claws clamp down on hers. She struggles to get herself free, but in her struggle, the sac breaks open, causing all the larvae to pour out onto the bed in a mess of blood and amniotic fluid. The larvae crawls out by the thousands, each of them converging onto Cherish and completely covering her. She convulses and shakes around helplessly in bed, soon hearing the sound of the phone ringing. Cherish finds herself falling out of bed, landing on the floor below. She pats all around herself and shakes it off. She quickly realizes that there is nothing on her, but still, she can feel them all stepping and squirming all over her. The sun shone brightly into the room as it had in that terrible dream, but fortunately, she was the only one in the room. The phone continues ringing, so she scrambles to answer it. "Hello..?" "Good morning, or actually, afternoon I should say, Mrs. Krabs! This is Nurse Shark here at Bikini Bottom Hospital, just calling to inform that your has been discharged and is now ready for pickup." "Oh. I'm so glad to hear! Thank you very much, nurse. I'll come down and pick him up right now!" "Excellent! We'll go on ahead and send somebody to bring him down for you. You'll find them at the front entrance!" "THEM?" Cherish asks with a slight sense of dread. "Yes, your husband and the nurse who will be escorting him out." "Oh thank Neptune. I'll be there right away." "All righty, Mrs. Krabs, you take care now." "Likewise." Cherish ends it off before hanging up. Cherish could hear crying coming from outside her room. She steps out into the upstairs hallway and is relieved to know that it's just Pearl in her room down the hall. That relief quickly turns into panic upon realizing that she slept in much later than she intended, leaving Pearl to cry for who knows how long. She rushes over to Pearl's room, trying to calm her down.
  4. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    Why ma’am I’m flattered glad you enjoyed and got a kick out of it!
  5. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    Has a Cabin in the Woods sorta vibe, minus all the hyper meta shit
  6. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    There’s certainly some legs on this one
  7. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    No, I don’t think so
  8. If you liked Cherish, then might I suggest checking out my actual scary story contest entry? I’ll just leave this. Right there
  9. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    Move over Lone Wolf and Cub, SHE really lives on the Demon Way in Hell.
  10. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this. I've officially gotten this farther than the first time! Part 2: First Line of Defense The episode inside the hallowed halls of Peach's Castle, where the princess and her loyal toad subjects are working tirelessly on a royal banquet that the castle will be hosting. Peach: I oh so hope that this banquet will manage to go off without a hitch. Toadsworth: I'm not so sure about that, my princess. Do you really think it to be wise that we also extend an invitation to Bowser?? I mean, after everything he has done not just to this kingdom, but to you personally?? Peach: He is the Koopa King after all, Toadsworth, and every royal family with a castle to their name are all slated to attend. Acknowledging him just once could go a long way towards finally achieving long term peace between our kingdoms. And personally, I have grown oh so tired of all this ill will between the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms. If there's anything I can do to quell such tensions, I certainly must put some effort in to at least try. Toadsworth: How very diplomatic of you, Princess! I am so joyed to see you taking such careful steps to insuring the peace and sanctity of all the lands! ???: Well, she had to learn it from someone! A green colored toad with a black mustache walks into the ballroom that they are in. This particular toad is adorned in a green royal robe with golden trims. Toadsworth: The Chancellor?! Toadsworth bows out of respect for The Chancellor. The Chancellor: Oh, enough formalities, Toadsworth! I certainly wouldn't have learned all that I know without your guidance, as well! Toadsworth: You give me too much credit, sir! The Chancellor: Not enough, I say! Not nearly enough, my old friend. Princess Peach, you are looking absolutely radiant as always! Peach: You flatter me, Chancellor, but my design honestly hasn't changed too much in years. The Chancellor: It's certainly more than I can say about myself! Look at me, still wearing these drab old things. Peach: Then I'll put it in a special word for you with my top designers! The Chancellor: Oh perish the thought (at least for now anyway). Today is about making sure we bring these kingdoms together! Peach: I do need to check on how the food preparations are going. If I may please be excused. Toadsworth: We should be requesting that of you, princess. Peach: Well, by all means, I hereby excuse you both! Peach walks herself over to the royal kitchen, leaving Toadsworth with The Chancellor. Toadsworth: How exactly do YOU feel about this, Chancellor? The Chancellor: I feel it will be a rousing success! Toadsworth: That's very optimistic, sir, but specifically, I mean how do you feel about King Koopa's upcoming appearance at this little soirée? The Chancellor: I know the kingdom's feelings about him are rather mixed, at best, but there are worse things out there. Toadsworth: Things that mostly HE orchestrates. The Chancellor: To be quite honest with you, inviting him would be far from the first thing on my agenda, but if Princess Toadstool personally feels that there is something to salvage here, well, she would be the one to know about salvaging things. Toadsworth: I suppose you've got a point there. The Chancellor: And then, again, who are we to doubt her highness' intuition? Toadsworth: I didn't mean to undermine her in any way, I'm just so worried about letting the enemy into our gates. The Chancellor: Like I said, there are certainly worse things out there. Toadsworth: Even worse than Bowser, of all people?? The Chancellor: You'd be surprised, my friend. Toad comes running in, trying to catch his breath. Toad: Sirs, his royal highness has arrived! And he's brought guests with him! Toadsworth: King Toadstool?! He's here already?! The Chancellor: Inform the princess right away. We best not to keep him waiting! Toadsworth heads off to collect the princess while The Chancellor heads out to meet with the king. Toadsworth finds Peach still in the kitchen, overseeing all the cooking and baking. Tayce T.: Oh where is that boyfriend of yours with those ingredients? We'll be down a few entrees if he isn't back with them soon. Peach: I told you, he's not my boyfriend! Err, per se... Tayce T.: Well whatever he is, do use that power you hold over him to pick up the pace. Peach: Right. I'll go ahead and do just that. Toadsworth: Princess Toadstool, the king has arrived! And he's brought guests! Peach: Father is here already?? We're not even close being ready yet... Toadsworth: It's best not to keep him waiting, princess! Not even for you! Peach: Right. Tayce T., I'll be sure to check back in with you when Mario returns with those ingredients. Tayce T.: I'll hold out for as long as I can. Peach follows Toadworth out to the castle's menagerie, where her subjects are all lines up to greet his royal majesty. She heads up the line with Toadsworth and The Chancellor on each side. Peach: Father, you've arrived! King Toadstool: Indeed, I have! I'm so very happy to finally see you, my daughter! It looks like you've carved yourself a nice little slice of life out here! I am beyond impressed! Peach: Such praise means the absolute world to me, father! King Toadstool: And look who I picked up along the way! It's those two commoners you always associate our royal name with! "Malleo" and "Weegee", was it? Peach: It's "Mario" and "Luigi", dad. King Toadstool: Nevertheless, I came across them lifting some heavy bags. Figured I'd lend them a royal hand! Peach: How very charitable of you, father! My top chef, Tayce T. will be glad to hear that her ingredients have finally arrived King Toadstool is suddenly sent flying towards the castle walls, being driven face first right into rock hard exterior. The dust settles to show that the force was enough to make a sizable hole through it. Peach: FATHER?! Toadsworth: HIS MAJESTY!??! The Chancellor: Show us your real colors you abhorrent riffraffs! Mario and Luigi step forward from the king's royal caravan. Peach: You're not Mario or Luigi! ???: I guess the apple fell farther from the tree than I thought! Mario and Luigi remove their clothes to reveal Wario and Waluigi in their underwear. Wario & Waluigi: WA-HA- Huh! They remove their underwear to reveal their signature attires underneath. Wario & Waluigi: WA-HAAA!! Peach gasps as if she's really shocked. A few toads tend to the king, struggling to pry him from the castle wall. The Chancellor and Toadsworth are both pretty shaken up, but The Chancellor is the first to step up and try to reprimand the two. The Chancellor: What do you two hooligans want?! Wario: We heard that royals from all over are gathering right here for a little party. And a bunch of stuck-up royals partying can only mean one thing; gifts beyond our wildest imaginations, all ready to be plundered! Waluigi: Personally, speaking for myself here, a bunch of stuck-up royals meeting in one spot can only mean a bunch of defenseless castles all waiting for us to walk right in unopposed. Wario smacks Waluigi upside the head. Waluigi: Waahhhh, but this works out for us just as well! Wario: So we'll go ahead have our pickin's NOW! Peach: The other royal family's have yet to even arrive and YOU have already blown your cover. Not that it was much cover to begin with. You two have potential to be something worthwhile, but you constantly undermine yourselves with your complete and utter lack of tact. It's no wonder why neither of you have had any meaningful role in years. Waluigi: Meaningful?! I'll show you meaningful! Waluigi pounces at her with all his leg strength, but he's cut off by the time interception of a stray spear thrown by one of Peach's royal guards. Waluigi: WAAAHHH?! The lone mustachioed toad jumps in and catches Waluigi by surprise, punching him right back to his brother's side. Toadster: How dare you disrespect the their majesties. Toadster leaps forward and collects his spear, holding at the ready for retaliation. Toadster: My name is Toadster, and I will defend the princess to my last breath! For too long have you villains had your way with our kingdom and its inhabitants! Today I make my stand. Waluigi gets back up to his feet and readies himself for another charge, but Wario stops him and steps up in his stead. Wario: You wanna go? Wario cracks his knuckles. Wario: Letsa go!! Toadster lets out a battle cry before charging at Wario full-speed. He keeps his sharpened spear outstretched, ready and willing to pierce it through the big man. Wario opens his mouth up wide and catches the spear tip between his jaws. Toadster attempts to free it, but there was no breaking Wario's mandible grip. Wario proceeds to chomp down on the spear, crunching the entirety of it with just his teeth before spitting it back out towards Toadster, who ducks it in time. However, this brief distraction is enough for Wario to take advantage and charge at the toad with a full-power shoulder tackle. Toadster is sent flying back to castle gates from the impact. The other toads rally him on to help him back to his feet. Toadster holds his arm and tries to catch his breath. Toadsworth: Toadster! Toadsworth uses his cane to conjure up a ? Block right above Toadster. Toadsworth: This should prove useful! Wario: NO YOU DON'T! Wario charges at Toadster to prevent him from making use of the block, but Toadster jumps him with a well timed stomp , which gives him the boost to pound the block and grab the fire flower that's inside. It powers Toadster up into Fire Toadster Waluigi: Watch out! Toadster lets loose throwing all the fireballs he can at Wario, who desperately tries to evade them as best he could. Wario: Damn flower power! Couldn't come up with anything more original?! Toadster really goes all out, pelting Wario with an endless barrage of fireballs. Wario keeps his guard up for as long as he can but is eventually overwhelmed by the sheer power of the fire flower. Toadster keeps the heat coming until finally stopping when the smoke cloud reaches the same heights as the castle itself. Toadster has winded himself as a result of his flurry attack. The smoke and dust finally settles to reveal Wario face down on the ground, his clothes singed. Peach gasps at the sight. Waluigi: Br-Bro! A-Are you- Wario's body suddenly passes large amounts of gas into the air, shrouding the entire grounds of Peach's Castle in a green tinged haze. Wario: Of course I'm okay, you idiot. Wario lifts himself up to his feet, laughing as he does so. Wario: Go ahead, kindle your embers! Flame me with all you've got! Just one little fireball and this entire place, everything, goes BOOM! And everyone along with it! Including your precious princess heheheheh... Toadster immediate calls off the fire that he was about to summon. Toadsworth tries to think fast and conjure up another ? Block, but Waluigi uses the cover of Wario's gas to swipe his cane right out of his hands. Waluigi then kicks Toadsworth aside with ease. Waluigi: Bro! Here! Waluigi conjures up a ? Block of his own for his brother to take advantage of. Wario: What do you take me for?! A charity case! I don't need no stinkin' power-up to beat no toad! You insult me with the mere thought! Wario grabs the block out of the air and throws it away. Wario: So say you, little toad? Care to bring this fight back down to an even playing field and risk eating defeat at my hands?! Without much of a choice, Toadster forces himself to power back down to his regular state. Toadster: You fight with no honor. Wario: Says the chump using the power-ups! I don't need such outliers to win a fight. Wario and Toadster approach one another at walking pace, meeting each other eye to eye in the middle of the courtyard. Wario: I had intended to save this lil number for when I would next fight Mario again. I didn't think I'd ever be forced to bust out against some lowly toad. You should consider this a great honor for your kind. Toadster: I would never. Wario: Suit yourself! They proceed to trade blows, each landing harder than the last. Wario does a better job at weathering the pain and is able to overcome Toadster's attacks with more of his own. Wario lands a hard chop on Toadster's collarbone, bringing the toad down to his knees. Wario takes a huge bite out of him, chomping down with all his before spitting Toadster back to the ground hard. Wario leaps into the air and lands a hard ground pound right on Toadster's spine. Toadster screams in agony as Wario bounces his weight all on top of him. Wario finally gets off and picks Toadster back up for a devastating piledriver, driving Toadster headfirst right into the hard castle grounds. Toadster's body remains rigid as it stands upside, his head planted firmly beneath the concrete. His body eventually slumps down, bending back sickeningly at the neck. Peach and the toads are horrified by what they just witnessed. Wario: Pathetic! Wario picks Toadster out of the ground and tosses him into the nearby crowd of toads who were watching the struggle, taking them all down. Wario: Now then, as I was saying, we'll be takin' those gifts now! All the nauseous fumes surrounding the entire castle are suddenly blown away by an unseen force, surprising Wario. A sizable army of walking armor slowly makes their approach, seemingly headed by a larger, more imposing mechanized figure. They're revealed to be the ones who have dispelled the gas, each soldier using built in fan blades to simply blow it all away. Wario: Who do you think you are?! You're interrupting our big score here! The larger robot steps forward. Army's Leader: We have been sent here to seek out the one called Mario. You could say that I'm his killer.
  11. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    Hey, that's been my general plan for a while too! It could potentially mean more money for your pocket if it does take off, so I'd say live the dream.
  12. Dr. Dark

    Ask Jeeves

    Can’t go wrong with a little satan worshipping and some stripping
  13. Dr. Dark

    Ask the Kat

    Gladly? if you like Coraline, then I’m sure ParaNorman will be right up your alley. I’d also highly recommend Kubo and the Two Strings. I always go back and forth between it and Coraline when it comes to me picking my favorite Laika movie.
  14. Time to go to (Puff Mama's) home and finish the rest of that pasta-ha
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