SBC Rap Battles

[So Sejima]

obviously

yes, obvious.

[Young Nug]

SBC Rap Battles is back and stuff

 

Episode 4: Clappy v.s Lil Wayne

 

Clappy and Jjs are sitting at the Xat Fountain, when Clappy hears a shout.

 

???: ITS YUNG MOOLA BABEE

 

Clappy: …oh god no

 

Lil Wayne steps into the Xat, escorted by Drake and Birdman. Everyone looks at him.

 

Lil Wayne: Aye, Drake, you sure this the right place?

 

Drake: Uh…I don’t know, Weezy. This is Tennessee, right?

 

Clappy: No, this is SBC.

 

Drake starts crying.

 

Lil Wayne: Drake, it’s okay man-

 

Drake: NO!!!

 

Drake runs away into the night crying.

 

Clappy: Classic Drake. What a baby.

 

Lil Wayne: Yo, you insultin’ my homie Drizzy?

 

Clappy: I guess I am, Lil Lame.

 

The crowd gasps and begins to gather. Lil Wayne glares at Clappy.

 

Lil Wayne: I guess it’s time ta school you, boi. Anybody got some sick beats they wanna drop?

 

The crowd turns and looks at Nuggets at his DJ Post, eating a sandwich. He looks up.

 

Nuggets: What?

 

Clappy: Drop a beat or something!

 

Nuggets: K.

 

Nuggets presses play and some manufactured T-Minus beat starts playing. Lil Wayne starts smoking and turns on his autotune.

 

Nuggets: Who goes firs-

 

Lil Wayne: IT’S YOUNG TUNECHI BABY

 

Nuggets: …Alright then.

 

Lil Wayne: Uh, what’s up, I’m here to do it

 

Weezy F. Baby on the track, I’m the truest

 

Even if you say I’m lame, I’m really deeper than it seems

 

And don’t you call me Freddy Krueger, or I’mma kill you in ya dreams

 

And I can’t say the N-Word, cuz this is a kids site

 

But I just had a party and Claps did not get an invite

 

And I’m always on ya, you could call me jacket

 

The secret to my fame, it has a code, you’ll never crack it

 

And Clappy you so wack, n’

 

Stop makin’ a racket

 

Every time that I see your face, I must attack it

 

And I be spittin’, you silent like a mouse

 

So corny, the human embodiment of Full House,

 

Tunechi.

 

*crowd ooohs*

 

Nuggets:…Well, uh. If my ears don’t deceive me, Wayne just dropped a verse that um….Wasn’t horrible for the first time in about

2 years. Can Clappy top it?

 

Clappy: Oooh, Nugs, you bet.

 

Weezy F. Baby? The F’s for counterfeit.

 

Not a single thing about you is original,

 

One of my least favorite individuals.

 

But this is to butter you up. You think I’m nice? Think twice.

 

Cause I’m cold, yet I burn, like my name was Dry Ice!

 

You bust up on the scene and shoot, but Wayne, I’m quicker,

 

You live up to your name, Lil Wayne; I’m bigger

 

You always talk about these murders and how your finger’s on the trigger

 

Hope it doesn’t backfire- Cause then I’ll be a gravedigger.

 

You’ll never be great again- What the hell was Carter 4?

 

Admit it Wayne, you’re nothing but a sizzled-out bore.

 

Lil Wayne: Well, Clappy, that was pretty good but-

 

*Lil Wayne starts foaming at the mouth and having a syrup seizure*

 

Nuggets: He needs to get that checked.

 

===

 

Who won? Who do you want to see battle next?

[Clappy]

Obviously I won.

[Doctor Sex]

ACS vs the haters

[Webizoid]

These are so freakin' great, my goodness.

[Young Nug]

we back at it again boiiii

 

Episode 5: Hayden v.s 70s

 

Hayden is sitting in the Xat, being his general self ( ), hamming it up, when suddenly, Dylan walks in.

 

Dylan: Yeah, bro. It's so great to have you back again. 

 

70s: Yeah, I am pretty great.

 

Hayden: *groan*

 

70s: Oh, if it isn't my old friend, Hay!

 

Hayden: If it isn't my old worst enemy, 70s.

 

70s: Worst enemy? Hayden, we were great friends!

 

Hayden: Dude what's wrong with you i literally hate you

 

literally half of the site hated you

 

70s: Nuh-uh!

 

Suddenly some bass heavy beat from Meek Mill's surprisingly 8/10 album begins playing. Hayden and 70s turn around.

 

70s: Black kid? What are you doing?

 

Nuggets: You guys are about to rap battle in a minute. 

 

70s: No, we're not. We're going to settle this like men.

 

Hayden: Yeah. Plus, I don't even like rap-

 

Nuggets: You're gonna rap battle and you're gonna f**cking like it,

 

70s and Hayden agree to rap.

 

Hayden: So do I go-

 

70s: Me first

 

Hayden:

 

70s: Alright, ummmm.

Hayden, why'd you do this? We both know you won't win

So I guess I gotta insult you, again and again

You're just a manchild - you watch Gravity Falls!

And that'd be ok man, except...You got no balls.

Remember that girl? Kali?  Dude, you're such a fool

Look everyone, its Hay, reporting live, from Preschool!

You're like a bad TV show - you need a re-tool

And you disgust me, you're slimier than baby drool

I'm 70s! Amazing! The hero of the sight!

You're like a pitch black painting, I'm a beacon of light

Like the black kid says, you're nothing but trash,

Saw you the other day chillin' with Squidward's Bold and Brash

So. Hop in that can, and get outta here man,

I'm not an admin anymore, but you can still catch a ban.

Whew.

 

The whole crowd watches as Hayden looks up at 70s. Nuggets offers him a hankerchief, but Hayden knocks it down.

 

Hayden: No. Just drop me a beat.

 

Nuggets drops a beat.

 

Hayden: Alright... Was gonna go easy on you, but here we are

You and I both know you took it way too far.

So I will too. I'm cool, like RegiIce

And now I'm about to go in on your entire fake life

So, uh, how's Prudence? How's Sara? The fam?

Oh, that's right! It was all just an elaborate sham!

Man. I may watch kid shows, 

But believe me, I'm a man. In fact, I'll take some blows

On you. Lyrically. Man, I go extra hard

You think you got me? I'll roast you harder than Charizard.

I hate your existence. You strut around, like you're the best

Your username's 70 because that's the highest you ever made on a test!

I can't deal with you getting away with no karma

You're not my favorite show, but your life's a total drama

You're ridonculous! And although I like this beat, it's bumpin'

We're done here. Go drive your car into a river or something.

 

The crowd goes insane for about 4 minutes, and we know that because Hayden counted every individual second. 70s glares at him.

 

70s: bruh it was a joke chill fam dylan im leaving

 

Dylan: Dude, you just got here

 

70s: You should honestly be used to this by now 

 

-who won who's next yeah everything else 

[Wumbo]

"go drive your car into a river or something"

 

SAVAGE AF I LOVE IT

[Metal Snake]

Your username's 70 because that's the highest you ever made on a test!

 

That has to be one of the best insults I've ever read.

[Katniss]

oh my goodness these are hilarious

[kev]

That has to be one of the best insults I've ever read.

it was pretty clever.

[Spongy272]

Wow ;D These raps are sick! Reminds me a lot of ERB.

[Young Nug]

i can't write consistently to save my life but hey it's back indefinitely

Episode 6: Clappy v.s Drake

(Views on iTunes and Apple Music go buy it now it's pretty ok)

Clappy is chilling with Cha and Hayden at the Xat Fountain. It's like 4 AM. Hayden is listening to Take Care and crying over some girl who broke his heart hard af, when suddenly, Drake pulls up.

Drake: Hey, white guy!

Clappy: Who are you calling white guy, racially ambiguous Jewish Canadian Guy with N-word privileges?

Drake: I hope you think you're funny, with your overly specific language. I'm here to get revenge on you Clappy. You made me cry last time, and I won't stand for it!

Clappy: Dude that was like 10 years ago

Drake: 10? Really?

Clappy: it just feels like that because Nuggets is a lazy piece of garbage. It's more like 4-

Drake: don't talk to me like I'm that drake from 4 years ago I'm in a higher place

Clappy groans.

Clappy: Nuggets, will you-

Nuggets: please god hurry up and finish so I can go back to sleep i have a life too drake go first

Nuggets samples some Aretha Franklin record and reverses it and adds some drums to it.

Drake: Oooh. I feel it.

Alright, this that "I spit it super true" flow

Got a bad ting, you a really lame dude though

I be stacking cash, got that presidential character

You post on a site that seems to worship cartoon characters

OVO, and this place, both belong to me, see

Turn into my place, I'm calling it 6BC

And now you really got me going back to back

You think me got me good so I came back for Clap

No, I am not Future but I run the trap

Run up on my goons, then its- BAP, BAP, BAP

And...

*Drake starts singing*

I just really don't know, why you had to do me like that (whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa)

I'm so emotional, you didn't have to make me sad (whoaaaa, whoa-whoa)

And all I really need, more than the stars above

Is love....

*Drake wipes a single tear from his face, then coughs*

But again, run up on my goons, they'll leave your brains on the rug.

Drizzy Drake, man, I do it so mean

I'm runnin' all seasons, 'specially Summer 16

You're childish, so SBC is like a box of Trix.

Should've stuck with me. We coulda ran through the 6. (six-six-six-six)

The crowd oohs and ahhs and fawns over Drake, who smiles through his beard at a scowling Clappy. Clappy clicks that beat up even harder and drops bars.

Clappy: Oh, so you wanna take it there?

It won't be the same after this, so you better take care

Of everything that you love, but I promise, you'll thank me later

Once you've lost a battle to SBC's greatest debater.

Sure, I watch SpongeBob, you've got that right

But I don't make simp songs for my ex-girls at night

You're sad, Drizzy. You're overcome with spite

And don't get mad now, boy, you know that I'm right

Six, six, six, six, that's the number that you rep

But SBC's my home, and a better one, I bet

You don't own SBC, we own you - call ya "Class Pet"

You look sick, dog, is it time to call the vet?

And if your life on the outside, seems so nice and lovely

How come every song's saying "Why can't this girl love me "?

Don't even talk to me, I'm so far beyond ya

I'm not the type of guy who'd EVER lose Rihanna

Me v.s the Raptors, I'm winning, man, I'm super scoring

Drake's the type of dude to get owned by a man on a SpongeBob forum

So it's over. Liked you when you were on Degrassi and fat.

I took a break from SBC, now it's back to that (nugs-nugs-nugs-nugs)

The crowd goes wild, everyone is literally on fire. Drake watches as everyone pats Clappy on the back and a single tear falls from his eyes. Clappy looks at Drake.

Drake: It didn't have to be like this, Clappert.

Clappy: I'm sorry Drake. I know.

Drake: But do they know?

Clappy nods.

Clappy: Oh, they know. They know, they know, they know....

Drake smiles and turns to leave 

until next time dun dun dun

-who won who lost who's next who's got broads in atlanta whew (panda)

[Metal Snake]

9 minutes ago, Bada Bing Nuggets said:

And if your life on the outside, seems so nice and lovely

How come every song's saying "Why can't this girl love me "?

That's as good a point as any. XD

[Katniss]

All the Drake references were priceless. Good job, Nugs  

[Clappy]

My pool is bigger than Drake's.  Drizzy's pool is nice, but mine is bigger is what I'm saying.