JCM Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 A series of vignettes starring your favorite pink starfish. Updated weekdays. ----Patrick Comes Out Of His Rock (Patrick's rock opens and Patrick walks out.) Patrick: (yawns) What a wonderful day! Don't you think so, rock? SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick: Rock! You're finally talking back! And you sound just like my friend, SpongeBob! SpongeBob: That's because it is me, Patrick! Patrick: SpongeBob! You've turned into a rock? SpongeBob: No, Patrick! I'm right behind you. (Patrick turns around and sees SpongeBob.) Patrick: SpongeBob! (What a twist!) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbl Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 1. Heard of this show on fanon wiki awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Long Timmy Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 The title reminds me of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Patrick Meets the President (Patrick and SpongeBob walk into the Krusty Krab and see President Obama eating there.) Patrick: Who's the guy with the big ears? SpongeBob: That's the president of the United States, Patrick! Patrick: What's the United States? SpongeBob: What's the United States? It's the home of the brave, land of the free! Patrick: What does that mean? SpongeBob: I don't know. It's some landmass. Hey, Mr. President! It's me, the fry cook! Obama: President? I'm not the president! I'm Dave Chappelle. (What a twist!) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Patrick Runs Over a Seahorse (Patrick is driving his boatmobile down the street, and he hits something that pops up in front of him.) Patrick: Oh, no! If the title of this episode is correct, I just ran over a seahorse! (Patrick gets out of his boatmobile and takes a look at the damage.) Patrick: This seahorse is hurt bad. Seahorse: Mama, is that you? Patrick: I'm not Mama, I'm Patrick. Seahorse: Mama, tell my brother...I hate him... Patrick: I'm not Mama. I'm Patrick. Seahorse: You got that, Mama? You got it? Patrick: I'm not Mama! I'm Patrick! Seahorse: And I'm not a seahorse. I'm...Charlie the Unicorn. (What a twist!) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbl Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 oh wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 Patrick Has 24 Hours To Live (A doctor walks into Patrick's hospital room.) Doctor: Patrick, I have bad news for you. Patrick: Really? Doctor: Yes. You've officially become too stupid to live. Patrick: Really? Doctor: You have 24 hours left before your brain tells your body to just give up. Patrick: Really? Doctor: Yep. If you have anything you want to do, you should probably go ahead and get it done now. Patrick: I'll take your advice, doc. (Patrick goes home and thinks about the stuff he wants to do.) Patrick: Oh no! There's nothing I want to do! (What a twist!) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 Patrick Has One Hour To Live (Patrick is writing his will.) Patrick: I'll give my jellyfishing net to SpongeBob and my shorts to Gary. Um...what else? (An angel flies through Patrick's rock and sets his will on fire.) Patrick: Hey, what was that for? Angel: I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding. You're not going to die in an hour. Patrick: I'm not? Angel: No. The man upstairs made budget cuts, so we can't afford to take up any more too-stupid-to-live types. Patrick: Was burning the will really necessary, though. Angel: It's dramatic. Who doesn't like dramatics? (The fire spreads and burns Bikini Bottom to the ground.) Angel: Well, bye! (What a twist!) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbl Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Patrick Steals a Shoe (Patrick is looking through shoes at a marketplace.) Patrick: This one looks nice. (Patrick picks up a pair of shoes and goes to the register. Another shoe falls into his back pocket on the way there.) Patrick: I'd like to buy this pair of shoes. Cashier: That'll be ten dollars. (Patrick gives him the money, but as he leaves, the marketplace's alarm goes off.) Cashier: Shoplifter! (The cashier runs after Patrick, but the shoe falls out of Patrick's back pocket and trips up the cashier.) Cashier: You win this round, criminal! (The marketplace owner walks up to the cashier.) Owner: What are you doing with that stolen shoe? Cashier: Umm...acrobatics? (What a twist!) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Jenkins Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 lol ten dollar shoes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 lol, acrobatics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 Patrick Outsmarts A Sea Monster (SpongeBob and Patrick walk into a cave.) SpongeBob: Why are we walking into this cave again? Patrick: I dunno. (Suddenly, a sea monster sprouts up from the ground and holds up a straw.) Sea Monster: I'm here to suck your brains out! (SpongeBob screams and Patrick scratches his chin.) Patrick: Was that straw used to suck anyone else's brains out? Sea Monster: Yeah, why? Patrick: That's an infection risk! Sea Monster: Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea. Patrick: Get out of here, you monster! (The sea monster cries and sinks back underground. What a twist.) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumbo Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 This must have been a smaller twist: no exclamation point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 Patrick Forgets To Take A Shower (Patrick walks into the Krusty Krab.) Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew! (Everybody runs out with green faces.) Mr. Krabs: Me customers! Where'd they...ugh! What's that rancid smell? Patrick: I don't know. Have you guys been maintaining your establishment? Mr. Krabs: It's you, Patrick! Did you take a shower this morning? Patrick: Oh. I thought I forgot to do something. Mr. Krabs: Get out of here, you stinky pile of smell! Patrick: But I'm hungry. Mr. Krabs: Not my problem! Patrick: I could eat anything right now, even... (licks his lips) crab. Mr. Krabs: Get this boy a Krabby Patty on the double! (shudders) And make it quick! (What a twist!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 Patrick Marries a Lamp (SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting on a bench.) Patrick: SpongeBob, have you ever considered finding a soul mate? SpongeBob: I already have. Grilling is my passion. Patrick: I'm talking about something tangible, like...like... (A lamp falls out of a passing garbage truck.) Patrick: Like that! (Patrick picks up the lamp and rubs it affectionately.) Patrick: Lamp, will you marry me? Yes? SpongeBob! I'm a husband! SpongeBob: I'm not sure what just happened. Lamp: Yeah, me neither. (What a twist!) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 wha? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webizoid Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Bravo! Bravo! These twists are keeping me on the edge of my very seat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 Patrick Divorces A Lamp (Patrick takes the lamp home.) Patrick: Oh, this is going to be a great honeymoon! (Patrick turns on the light and realizes that he just pulled the cord of another lamp.) Patrick: It's just a friend, I swear! (Patrick's wife says nothing.) Patrick: Don't give me that look! I can't help who I hang around with! (Patrick's wife says nothing.) Patrick: Oh, so you're going to give me the silent treatment now? I've had this night lamp since I was a child, and I respect it a lot more than I'm respecting you right now! (Patrick throws his wife into the street.) Patrick: This marriage is over! Don't bother asking for your things, because you don't have any. Lamp: Harsh, dawg. (What a twist!) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Patrick Finds A Piece of Gum (Patrick is walking down the street when a surprise gets caught on his foot.) Patrick: Oh my goodness! Someone abandoned this poor little speck of chewing gum. (Patrick takes the gum home and sticks it to the dining room table.) Patrick: So what would you like? Ham or sausage? (Patrick pokes the piece of gum.) Patrick: Just some water? OK. (Patrick leaves then comes back with a glass of water. He pours the water onto the piece of gum, moistening it and causing it to roll off the table.) Patrick: Oh no! You're injured! Don't worry! I'll call 911! (An ambulance comes, and when the doctors see what they're dealing with, they slap Patrick and drive away.) Patrick: Wait! You forgot my friend! I'll sue you! I'll sue you all! Gum: Put a sock in it, tubby. Patrick: Tubby? (sheds a single tear) Nobody calls me tubby! (Patrick punches the piece of gum and injures his hand in the process.) Patrick: Ouch. (eats the chewing gum and walks away) (What a twist!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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