JCM Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Patrick Winds Up in Prison (A policeman knocks on Patrick's rock, and it opens with Patrick stuck to the bottom.) Jeffery the Jellyfish: That's him, officer! That's the man who kidnapped me! Patrick: Jeffery? How did you escape from your cage? Jeffery: You left the keys in there with me. Patrick: Oh, right! Policeman: We're gonna have to ask you to come with us. Patrick: Why? Policeman: Because kidnapping is against the law. Patrick: Well, nobody ever told me that! Jeffery: I told you that several times while you were wheeling me here! Patrick: I can't speak jellyfish! Policeman: Enough, enough! Are you going to come with us or not, starfish? Patrick: I can't. I'm stuck to my rock again. (Five minutes later, Patrick is in a prison cell with the rock still stuck to him.) Patrick: At least I still have you, rock. Rock: It's not like I have a choice. (What a twist!) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Patrick Busts Out of Prison (Mr. Krabs is escorted into Patrick's prison cell.) Patrick: What are you in for? Mr. Krabs: Counterfeiting, tax fraud, the usual. Patrick: I see. Mr. Krabs: Where the barnacles is SpongeBob with that cake? Patrick: Cake? I like cake! Mr. Krabs: Then you'll ''love'' this cake. It's our ticket out of here, matey. (SpongeBob walks into the prison cell with a cake in his hands.) SpongeBob: Here it is! Patrick and Mr. Krabs: Hooray! (Patrick eats the cake whole, and SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs give him dirty looks.) Patrick: What? Mr. Krabs: There was a file in that cake! Patrick: Well, you should put your files in your folders where they belong. SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. You'll only have to wait 2-3 days to be home free. (A guard appears behind SpongeBob.) Guard: You do realize that I've been listening this entire time, right? SpongeBob: Oops. (What a twist!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Patrick Does The Twist (Pearl is at the school prom, dancing with Octavious Rex.) DJ: All right, you invertebrates. I'm gonna teach you how to do The Sponge. Well, first you take your leg and you stick it in the air, and then you take the other one and jam it right up the- (Suddenly, Patrick punches out the DJ and switches the record.) Patrick: (in the microphone) Sorry for the interruption, but I've got a new dance move for you. (Music starts playing, and Patrick jumps onto the dance floor.) Patrick: Well, first you take your legs and you leave them on the ground, and then you take your legs again and turn them all around! Repeat, repeat, repeat, I hope you have the gist! 'Cause now you're doing The Twist! Pearl: The Twist? What is this, the 1950s? Octavious Rex: Yeah, this dance stinks! (Mermaid Man is doing the twist in another corner of the dance floor.) Mermaid Man: What are you crazy kids talking about? This dance is awesome! (Mermaid Man twists so hard that he ends up breaking his back.) Mermaid Man: Whoo! That's gonna hurt in the morning! (What a twist!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 Patrick Watches Paint Dry (Patrick knocks on Squidward's door.) Squidward: (opens door) What do you want? Patrick: SpongeBob left for the weekend, so I was wondering if you wanted to go jellyfishing with me. Squidward: I'd rather watch paint dry. Patrick: That's an even better idea! (Squidward slams the door in Patrick's face. Patrick gets a can of white paint and splashes it on his rock. He sits down and watches.) Patrick: Dry! Dry! Dry! Dry! (Three days later, SpongeBob walks up beside Patrick with a jellyfishing net in his hand.) SpongeBob: I'm back! Wanna go catch some jellyfish? Patrick: Sorry, I'm watching paint dry. SpongeBob: O...kay. (SpongeBob goes jellyfishing alone.) Patrick: Dry! Dry! Dry! Dry! Oh look, it dried. (What a twist!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 Patrick Swallows a Bug (Patrick is sleeping in his bed when a fly goes into his mouth.) Patrick: (wakes up) What the? (The fly buzzes around inside his mouth and then goes down his throat.) Patrick: (gulps) Oh no! I swallowed a bug! (Patrick runs out of his rock and crashes through the wall of Dr. Forrest's office.) Dr. Forrest: What the? Patrick: Help! I swallowed a bug! Dr. Forrest: What am I supposed to do about it? Patrick: Can't you make me unswallow it? Dr. Forrest: I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker! Patrick: Well, then, can you point me in the direction of the nearest miracle worker? Dr. Forrest: Depends. Can you fix my wall? Madame Hagfish: I work miracles, but for a price. Dr. Forrest: How did you get into my office? Patrick: Yay! A miracle worker! What's your price? Madame Hagfish: One million dollars. (Patrick takes a rock out of his pocket.) Patrick: Will this do? Madame Hagfish: Fine. (Madame Hagfish turns Patrick into a fly.) Patrick: I don't think that helped. Madame Hagfish: LOL I TROLLL U (Madame Hagfish poofs away.) Dr. Forrest: Well, that was random. (What a twist!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted May 23, 2013 Author Share Posted May 23, 2013 Patrick Meets His Nephews (Patrick is looking through his mailbox.) Patrick: What's this? A letter? (Patrick opens the letter and sees a bunch of scribbles.) Patrick: "Dear Patrick, me and my husband are going on a cruise, so we've decided to send our children over to your rock to visit. Love, Your Big Sister Sam." (A bus stops by, and Patrick's nephews, Billy and Willy, and his niece, Lilly, scamper out the door.) Billy, Willy, and Lilly: Hello, Uncle Patrick! Patrick: H-hello. Billy: We know how much you love baseball, so we brought our own baseball bat! Patrick: I don't love baseball, or any physical activity for that matter. Also, that's not a bat! That's an electric eel! (The electric eel stings Patrick on the face and then wriggles away.) Billy, Willy, and Lilly: What a twist! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 Patrick Abandons His Nephews (Patrick crawls into SpongeBob's house with various bruises and scars.) SpongeBob: Whoa, what happened to you? Patrick: It's my nephews. They're reprehensible. They're so bad, that I had to look the word "reprehensible" in the dictionary. SpongeBob: Sounds bad. What do you think we should do? Patrick: Move to another country? SpongeBob: I can't do that! I have work! Patrick: Oh, right. Billy, Willy, and Lilly: (from outside) Patrick? Patrick, where are you? Patrick: Hide me! SpongeBob: How? (Patrick climbs into SpongeBob's mouth just as Billy, Willy, and Lilly walk into SpongeBob's pineapple.) Billy, Willy, and Lilly: Have you seen Patrick? (SpongeBob shakes his head, but then his stomach starts to bubble, and he vomits out Patrick.) SpongeBob: (wipes his mouth) You really need to stop eating those fried oyster skins. Willy: Speaking of that, we knew how much you love friend oyster skins, so we brought you a real, live oyster! (Willy takes an oyster out of his pocket, and it eats Patrick.) Patrick: (from inside the oyster) Your mouth is a lot less sanitary than SpongeBob's. Oyster: Just for that, I'm not spitting you out. Patrick: Darn. (What a twist!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salmon Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 SO. MANY. TWISTS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Sejima Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 SO. MANY. TWISTS. *twists and breaks back* OW! WHAT A TWIST 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Patrick Eats Too Much Ice Cream (Patrick is sprawled across a table in the Goofy Goobers ice cream parlor.) Patrick: (slurring) Another one, waiter! Waiter: (cleaning the counter) I think you've had enough. Patrick: I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH! (Patrick burps out his stomach.) Patrick: Okay, I've had enough. (Patrick stumbles to the door and takes out his boatmobile keys.) Waiter: Whoa! You're not driving home alone like that, are you? Patrick: Of course not! (turns around) Pat-Back will make sure I'm safe. Pat-Back: You can count on me! Waiter: (shakes head) Wait up, I'll drive you home. Pat-Back: (sad) Nobody likes me. Patrick: I feel your pain, Pat-Back. No wait, that's just liver failure. (What a twist!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 Patrick Plays in the Olympics (Patrick is jogging with SpongeBob to the Olympic stadium.) SpongeBob: I can't believe you'll be playing in the Olympics! Patrick: Yeah, it's a lifelong dream! SpongeBob: What sport will you be doing, anyway? Patrick: I'll be making music with my armpits! (Patrick elbow farts the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song.) SpongeBob: Nice. (SpongeBob and Patrick make it into the stadium, and a weenie-shaped robot rolls up to them.) Robot: Welcome to the Weenie Hut Jr. Special Olympics. Patrick: Special Olympics? Robot: May I take your coat...weenie? Patrick: But I'm not wearing a coat. Robot: That's what they all say... (eyes turn red) at first. (What a twist!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Patrick Goes to a Comic Book Convention (SpongeBob and Patrick stroll into the Bikini Bottom Comic-Con dressed as Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.) SpongeBob: Here we are, Patrick! The Fifth Annual Comic-Con! Patrick: (sheds a manly tear) It's more beautiful than I imagined. (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are signing comic books at a nearby table.) SpongeBob: Look! It's the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Patrick: I'm so excited I just can't hide it! (Patrick jumps onto the table and rolls over on his back.) Patrick: Hi, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! Could you two sign my belly? Barnacle Boy: Well, it's not the weirdest thing someone's asked us to do today. (signs) Patrick: Tee-hee! That tickles! Mermaid Man: You need to lose some weight, son. I've been going to a physical trainer, and it's been doing wonders for my abs. (Mermaid Man pulls up his shirt, revealing a six-pack.) Mermaid Man's abs: We're scrumptious! Barnacle Boy: Pull your shirt down, idiot! Do you want Chris Hanson to get us arrested again? Chris Hanson: (taped to the ceiling) This is Chris Hanson, for Dateline. (What a twist!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted June 6, 2013 Author Share Posted June 6, 2013 Patrick Dies (Patrick wakes up in his bed at 3 AM.) Patrick: Oh boy! 3 AM! (Patrick starts eating a Krabby Patty, but a pickle gets stuck in his throat.) Patrick: Ack! Somebody help! (Suddenly, everything goes black. Patrick wakes up Davy Jones' Locker.) Patrick: Where am I? Davy Jones: You're in my dojo! Gimme five! (Patrick is about to give Davy Jones five, but Davy Jones pulls his hand back at the last minute.) Davy Jones: Too slow! Patrick: Am I dead? Davy Jones: No, you're just sleeping. Patrick: Really? Davy Jones: No, you're dead. Have you met my homeboy The Flying Dutchman? (The Flying Dutchman is making out with his sock in a corner of the locker.) The Flying Dutchman: Uhh...I can explain. (What a twist!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Nug Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 This episode would be an amazing series finale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Patrick Rises (Patrick is still in Davy Jones' Locker.) Patrick: So, what do you guys do around here? Davy Jones: You know...loaf around. Patrick: Ooh, I like loaf! Especially the meaty kind! Speaking of that, what do you have to eat around here? Davy Jones: Why would you want something to eat? You're dead. Whatever you eat would just go right through you. Patrick: Like a genie! Davy Jones: Yeah...like a genie. The Flying Dutchman: Davy, could you come over here for a sec? (Davy Jones walks to the Flying Dutchman's corner, and the Flying Dutchman whispers in his ear.) Davy Jones: (turns to Patrick) Well, it seems like you're not due to expire for another six years! Patrick: What does that mean? Davy Jones: It means you're officially alive again. See ya! (Davy Jones snaps his fingers, and Patrick is in his rock again, choking on a pickle.) Patrick: (coughs out pickle) Darn. I wanted to be a genie. (What a twist!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted August 19, 2013 Author Share Posted August 19, 2013 Patrick Returns From a Vacation (Patrick is riding on a bus.) Patrick: Man, those two months I spent at my grandma's house sure went by fast! (Patrick takes a picture of SpongeBob's grandmother out of his pocket.) Patrick: I miss her already. (A fish sitting next to Patrick scratches his head.) Fish: Your granny is a sponge? Patrick: (scoffs) Look at how round she is! She's obviously a starfish! Bus Pilot: (looking at his phone) Okay, according to Pineapple Maps, we're in Bikini Bottom. This is where I'll make my stop. (Patrick runs out of the bus to find a large community of Snorks doing whatever Snorks do.) Patrick: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? (What a twist!) 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassicNickelodeon Fan 1 Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 #SnorksForPresident Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 Patrick Wears White After Labor Day (An electric eel is standing in the middle of Bikini Bottom with a camera crew in front of her.) Electric eel: Hi there. I'm Joan Slithers, and this is FashionWatch! (Patrick, wearing a white t-shirt, passes by Joan Slithers.) Joan Slithers: Oh, goodness, no! (stops Patrick) You, sir, are a fashion disaster! Patrick: Why? Joan Slithers: Because white after labor day is just so tacky! Patrick: Why? Joan Slithers: Why? I don't know why. Patrick: Why? Joan Slithers: I don't write the rules of fashion, I just enforce them! Patrick: Why? Joan Slithers: Because that's my job! Patrick: Why? (Twenty minutes later...) Joan Slithers: ...and that's when I dropped out of college to pursue a career in fashion. You know, you're a really good listener. (bats fake eyelashes) Are you taken? Patrick: No, I'm Patrick. Joan Slithers: Neptune, how many times will the writer use that joke? (The writer appears out of nowhere and punches Joan Slithers in the face.) Writer: As many times as I need to, woman! (What a twist!) (Patrick: Why?) (Hey, get out of the action parentheses!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Patrick Prank Calls Squidward (Patrick walks into SpongeBob's house.) Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what are you doing? SpongeBob: I'm prank-calling people. It's hi-larious! Let me show you. (SpongeBob presses a few buttons on his shellphone.) Mrs. Puff: (on the phone) Hello? SpongeBob: Hey, is your refrigerator running? Mrs. Puff: Yes. SpongeBob: Then you should probably go catch it! (hangs up and laughs) Patrick: Ooh, let me try! (Patrick grabs the shellphone from SpongeBob and dials a number.) Patrick: Hey, is your refrigerator running? Squidward: (on the phone) What do you want, Patrick? Patrick: How did you know it was me? Squidward: (on the phone) Your voice isn't that hard to catch. Patrick: Then you should probably go catch it! Squidward: (on the phone) Catch what? Patrick: My voice! You said it wasn't hard to catch, right? (hangs up the phone and laughs) SpongeBob: Haha! Good one, Patrick! (Suddenly, a refrigerator with legs runs out of SpongeBob's kitchen and breaks through the door.) SpongeBob: No, not again! (runs after the refrigerator) (What a twist!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Patrick Shows Up Late to Work (Patrick walks into the Krusty Krab.) Squidward: The boss wants to see you. (Patrick shrugs and goes into Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs is kissing a dollar, but when he sees Patrick enter, he quickly tucks it away.) Mr. Krabs: Do you know how late you are? Patrick: Wait, wait, I know how to play this! Uh...10 minutes. Mr. Krabs: You're five hours late! Patrick: Darn, that was my next guess! Mr. Krabs: You think this is a game? Why, I...ugh, what's that rancid smell? Did you forget to take a bath again? Patrick: No, I remembered. Maybe it's your sweat. Mr. Krabs: No, it's your breath! What did you eat this morning? Patrick: Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza... Mr. Krabs: Anything else? Patrick: Well, I had this bowl of fried oyster skins. (Patrick takes out a bowl of fried oyster skins.) Patrick: Want some? (Mr. Krabs passes out.) Patrick: Oh well, more for me. (What a twist!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now